Cul doesn't want Lily to let go. Cul wants to bury herself into Lily's chest, like if she holds tight enough they can just fuse into one and it'll be warm and safe and Cul won't have to worry something will be ripped out of her hands.
Why is she so panicked? She has her right now, in her arms right now, and somehow she's more afraid of distance than if they were actually apart. Don't take her away.
Lily's soft shirt rubs against Cul's bare arms; she feels nothing but her warmth against her, a full embrace. She's holding her. She's holding her.
They're so close, they're so close, Cul feels her breath against her neck and the tickle of her hair and her hands holding Cul's arm and the warmth, the warmth, the sheer warmth of Lily over her... she whimpers into Lily's chest.
What is this feeling? Is she allowed to have it? She pulls her tighter.
Lily turns her head so she's facing Cul, and softly, so softly, whispers, "are you alright?" The pure care in her eyes causes Cul to crumple even further, and its too much, Cul can't take it.
"I'm fine," she chokes out. She pulls away. She didn't want to do that.