"She's waiting for you."
It's the last thing Mikha hears before her friend walks away, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Her palms feel sweaty and she rubs her palms against her jeans.
Rub. Rub. Rub.
A nervous habit that she has, rubbing against rough surfaces until her skin turned red. She stops herself before she goes any further, taking in a deep breath before she steps towards the front door of the beautiful home before her.
Their home.
Mikha places a nervous hand on the doorknob, her hand shaking slightly as she encloses the cold metal between the palm of her hand and her clammy fingers, feeling the moisture in her palm coating the metal knob.
She turns the knob slowly, pushing through the threshold of the home, calling out her wife's name in a gentle tone.
"Maraiah?"
When she walks in, she is greeted by the sight of her wife, Aiah, sitting on a loveseat in their living room, the look of shock evident on her face. Their eyes meet and Mikha could feel every kind of emotion rushing through her.
"Is it you?", Aiah says, clutching a scarf that she had weaved over the years, hoping it would be finished the moment her wife had come back home. She always left it unfinished, hoping that one day, she would receive word of her lover returning and she would finish it just in time.
"Have my prayers actually been answered?", Aiah speaks again while Mikha remains silent while the love of her life stood slowly, turning to face her. "Is it really you standing there, Mikha, or am I just dreaming again?"
Aiah watches Mikha's every move, scanning her entire form as the younger woman simply gives her a short nod. "You look different."
Aiah says softly, moving slowly towards her wife. She notices that Mikha's eyes look tired, her frame is lighter.
When Mikha gives her a small smile, Aiah sees that the smile that she fell in love with is now torn.
"Is it really you, my love?"
Aiah asks, reaching out a hand towards Mikha, but the younger woman steps back, her head hung low, her hands by her sides as she starts to rub the palms of her hands against her jeans again.
"Aiah, I need you to understand something."
Mikha starts, with Aiah listening intently to every word her wife says, her voice sounding like a calming melody that Aiah had missed for years. "I am not the woman that you fell in love with, nor am I the same woman that you once adored."
Mikha pauses, taking in a shaky breath before she continues. "I am no longer your kind and gentle wife, and I am not the love you knew before."
She looks at her wife with uncertain eyes, her voice wavering as she continues to speak. "I am not sure if you would fall in love with me again, especially if you knew all the things I have done. I can't change any of it, and I know that you have been waiting for love. So would you still love me the same?"
Aiah waits for her to finish before she responds, her voice soft and her patience unwavering. She waited for years to see her wife again, she can wait a few more minutes to hold her.
"What kind of things did you do, Mikha?"
Mikha shuts her eyes shut, the images of what she had to do come flashing back in her mind, the trail of red she left on every place she went to, the friends she had left behind, and the lives she took. "I did terrible things, things that I never imagined myself being capable of. But all of it, all that I did was to bring me back to you."
She lifts her head to look at her wife, expecting to see her disgusted or some kind of anger in her eyes. But instead, she sees longing in Aiah's eyes.
She sees love.
"If you knew all that I have done, Aiah, all of the things that I can't undo, would you still fall in love with me again? I know that you have been waiting for your wife, but I'm not the woman that you once knew."
Aiah takes a deep breath before she speaks, her voice still holding the same gentle tone. oozing patience and love for the woman before her. "I see. If that's true, then could you do me a favor, Mikha?"
'Anything for you.', Mikha thinks to herself, but she only nods, her eyes following Aiah's form as she walks around the room, pointing at a piece of furniture that Mikha could make out as the first thing that she ever made for their home.
"Do you see that loveseat? Could you carry it over and take it far away from here? Maybe it would finally bring me some peace after all these years.", Aiah says, pointing at the loveseat with the letters M+A engraved on the wood, courtesy of her wife.
Mikha could feel her blood boil, her temper now rising as she starts to speak. "How could you say that? I built that loveseat with my blood and sweat. Its wood is from the olive tree where we first met."
'It's a symbol of our love everlasting.' Mikha thinks to herself, but she bites her tongue, her voice now taking a harsher tone than earlier. "Do you realize what you have asked me?"
Mikha was livid, how could she ask that of her, her own wife?
"Well, only my wife knew that so I guess that makes her you, doesn't it?", Aiah snaps at her, glaring at the woman before her. Mikha's anger subsides and is replaced with shock. She has never heard Aiah snap at her, not like this.
Aiah takes a determined step towards her, with Mikha now standing her ground as her wife moves towards her, speaking as she does.
"I will fall in love with you, over and over again, Mikha Lim."
Aiah says to her, a tone of finality in her voice as she holds Mikha's face in her hands. "I don't care how, where or when. No matter how long it has been, you are mine."
Tears are now streaming down Aiah's face as she continues to speak, each word an emphasis on her loyalty and her love for her long lost wife.
"Don't you ever tell me that you are not the same person. You are always my wife, and I have been waiting..."
Her voice cracks and Mikha couldn't help but wipe her tears away, her voice barely a whisper when she says her wife's name, "Aiah..."
Aiah wraps her arms around Mikha's torso and she sobs into her chest when she feels her wife's arms around her again, with Mikha whispering soft apologies into her ear. She grips onto Mikha's shirt, afraid that if she lets go, she'd disappear again.
"How long has it been?", Aiah asks in between her tears and Mikha takes a deep breath, pulling away just a tiny bit to cup Aiah's face with her left hand, the other resting on her waist. Mikha uses her thumb to wipe away the remnants of tears on her wife's cheek, gently rubbing her cheek as Aiah leans into her touch.
"Too long, my love."
Aiah leans her forehead against Mikha's, closing her eyes as she feels her warmth. Mikha's eyes slowly close again, the visions of what she had done now wavering as she feels more grounded, more tethered now that she's with her wife again.
"I love you..."
They both say in unison, falling in love with one another, all over again.