Chapter 9
The end of term feast took place a few days after Slughorn's party, and for the most part, was full of joyous laughter and much shouting.
The down note occurred as the main course wrapped up and the desserts appeared. Harry's attention was drawn to the three Aurors that appeared in the doorway. He recognized Kingsley and Tonks, and the third he thought was called Dawlish. He frowned and watched as Minerva came down the aisle to meet them.
The foursome had a whispered conversation by the door, as more students became aware of their presence.
Hermione, Neville, and Ginny were likewise captivated by the scene, though Ron continued to eat with gusto, as normal.
"I hope everything's all right," Ginny murmured anxiously.
Harry nodded, biting his lip nervously.
Minerva turned away from the Aurors, her gaze catching Harry's for a moment, before she looked up to the Head Table. After another moment, Snape stood up, his brow furrowed as he met Minerva at the Slytherin table.
"Oh no," Harry's eyes narrowed as the two professors stopped next to Blaise and Daphne.
Snape gestured for Astoria Greengrass to join her sister, and they held a whispered conversation. It clearly wasn't good news, if the sudden paling of all three students was anything to go by.
Hermione's eyes were wide as she looked at the gathering at Slytherin table. Most people were now watching the proceedings with interest. Even Ron had looked up from his plate.
Shakily, Blaise stood up, helping Daphne clear the bench as well, and the three students followed their Head of House out of the Hall.
Minerva cleared her throat, and all attention turned to her. "Please return to your meals, everyone." She returned to the Head Table and descended into a whispered conversation with Flitwick.
Harry and his friends looked at each other worriedly, not hungry anymore – not even Ron. What they had just seen couldn't be good. Harry was anxious, but he waited until the meal was over before following Minerva to her office, gesturing for his fellow Gryffindors to go on up to the common room ahead of him.
Minerva wasn't surprised when barely thirty seconds after she closed her office door, it opened once more.
Harry walked in and closed the door behind him.
Minerva sighed, taking a seat at her desk. "I'm not sure I should tell you what's happened," she said before her charge could say anything.
Harry bit his lip. "I'm just worried," he replied. "It didn't look good."
Minerva sighed again, knowing that what had happened was Mister Zabini and the Greengrass girls' business. But Harry was their friend, and he would probably spend the whole night imagining scenarios.
The Transfiguration professor grimaced, leaning forward in her seat. "Kingsley, Tonks, and Dawlish were here to inform the students of an attack on their families."
Harry's heart stuttered. "Is…"
He trailed off, but Minerva understood, and shook her head. "Madam Zabini and Lord Greengrass were injured, but help came in time and the two were removed to Saint Mungos. I am sorry to say that Lady Greengrass didn't make it. An Auror who responded to the call for help was also unfortunately killed."
Harry almost collapsed into a seat. "Daphne…" he mumbled, feeling a pressure behind his eyes that threatened tears. He felt for Astoria as well, but he didn't know the younger girl that well. Daphne had told him that Astoria had picked up many of the spells and lessons that she had passed on from their summer training with great speed. But no matter how well or little he knew them, no one should have to go through the pain of losing a parent this way.
Minerva smiled sadly. "Mister Zabini and the Greengrass girls have collected their belongings and left for Saint Mungos to see their parents. I am sure they would appreciate your sympathy, Harry."
Harry nodded, sniffing slightly. "If they need anything…"
Minerva nodded understandingly. "Lord Greengrass and Madam Zabini might need to spend a few days in the hospital. Perhaps I will suggest that their children spend that time with us? They are more than welcome."
Harry smiled. "Thanks." He paused. "Do you know why they were attacked?"
Minerva let out a deep breath. "From what Kingsley said, the Death Eaters were angry that the two families did not support You-Know-Who's cause."
Harry muttered a curse. "In other words, two neutral but slightly darker families decided to stay out of the war, and the Death Eaters attacked because their kids are friends with the Boy Who Lived."
Minerva shook her head. "You can't blame yourself, Harry. Like you said, they were neutral. They could have been attacked simply for that."
Harry shrugged. "But it must have been clear which direction they were leaning in after Blaise helped me out at the Department of Mysteries last summer."
Minerva winced at the reminder. "Don't blame yourself for the actions of others. That path leads nowhere, and to nothing but pain and self-hatred. Please." She swallowed harshly. "… Voldemort is to blame."
Harry's head snapped up as his guardian used the Dark Lord's name. He knew she must be worried about him and what he might do if he blamed himself, because she normally never used the name. He attempted a smile, and nodded.
"I'll try not to," he assured her.
Minerva noted the way he said 'try', and sighed softly. She was grateful that he was being honest with her, not automatically giving her the answer he thought she wanted to hear. But she really hoped he wouldn't go on a downward spiral, thinking that he was to blame for his friends' parents' predicament.
"You should get some sleep," she said, standing up and moving around the desk to give him a reassuring hug. "The train leaves right after breakfast tomorrow."
Harry nodded, returning the hug gratefully, before he left the office.
XXX
When he returned to the common room, Harry found his friends waiting for him in a secluded corner.
In a hushed whisper, Harry told them what had happened.
Hermione inhaled sharply, her hand flying to her mouth, tears in her eyes. "Oh no, that's horrible!" she gasped.
Harry nodded grimly. "I think it's because Blaise and Daphne are friends with me."
Ginny slapped him on the arm. "Harry James Potter, it is not your fault!" she growled.
Harry winced and nodded. "I know," he pacified. "I can't help feeling a little guilty, but I'd rather blame the idiots who actually did it."
Ginny grinned and kissed his cheek. "Good boy."
Ron and Neville snorted, and Hermione let out a small smile.
Growing serious, Neville asked, "Do they need anything? Is there anything we can do?"
Harry shrugged sadly. "From what Aunt Minerva told me, Madam Zabini and Lord Greengrass will be in the hospital for a few days. She's going to offer for Blaise, Daphne, and Astoria to stay with us until their parents are released. I think the best thing is to keep them occupied. Especially Astoria, she's only fourteen. Maybe they'd like to take some frustration out on a few test dummies."
Neville nodded. "That could probably be arranged. Do you know which Death Eaters were involved?"
Harry knew he was on the lookout for any sightings of Bellatrix Lestrange, ever since the woman had escaped with her master last June. He shook his head regretfully. "Sorry, but either Kingsley didn't tell her, or she didn't tell me."
Ron sighed. "We should get some sleep. The train leaves tomorrow morning."
They all nodded their agreement, only now noticing the way the common room had emptied out around them, indicating the late time.
Harry gave Ginny a kiss, and Ron said good night to Hermione, before they all headed up to their dorms.
XXX
The train ride was fortunately quiet the next day. Aurors were patrolling the compartments, and put an end to any incidents that cropped up. Word of what had happened at Greengrass Manor and the Zabini Estate had gotten out, and rumors were running wild, especially since none of the students in question had been seen since the Aurors had escorted them from the Great Hall the night before. A few students had stopped by Harry's compartment to ask him, but he wouldn't give out any information. The only reason he had told his friends was because they cared about Blaise and Daphne as well, and they would have been told the details as soon as the next meeting of their circle took place – most likely that evening or the next day.
When the train pulled into Kings Cross, Harry and his friends disembarked to find a contingent of Aurors waiting for them. He was relieved to see Kingsley and Tonks there, but wasn't too keen on the other three people he didn't know. Standing next to them were Molly, Remus, and Augusta.
Molly smiled tightly, her eyes continuously glancing around the platform, looking for threats. "How was your term, dears?" she asked distractedly.
They all mumbled positives, and Molly's expression turned serious. "Right, let's head to the Floo access. No dallying now, and stick close together. Luna, you're coming home with us, your father will pick you up later this evening. Hermione, we felt it would be best for you to simply Floo home, rather than have your parents come pick you up, for safety. They are waiting for you at your house."
"Where's Sirius?" Harry asked as they made their way to the barrier between Platform Nine and Three Quarters and the muggle side of Kings Cross.
Remus bit his lip, looking around. "He had to take care of some business," he replied quietly. "He'll tell you more later, and he sends his apologies for not being able to pick you up."
Harry nodded, as the group started going through the barrier. "It's fine," he shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure he was all right."
Remus smiled tiredly. "The attack on Madam Zabini and the Greengrasses has stirred up a bit of fuss, both in the government and the community. Sirius has been busy with various members of the Wizengamot, as well as giving some support to the Aurors who are investigating the incident." He saw Harry's worry, and reached out, resting a hand on the teen's shoulder. "He's fine," he reassured his pseudo nephew.
Harry nodded shakily. "Yeah," he muttered, as they reached the Floo access and started going through, heading for their homes.
Once all the teenagers were through, Augusta went. Molly and Remus turned to the Aurors, expressions of gratitude and worry on their faces.
"Thank you for your help," Molly said. "Please tell Amelia that the children are all safe and sound, and we will see her soon."
Kingsley nodded austerely. "Will do. You two should head on through, and then we'll get back to the DMLE."
Molly smiled, and went through, followed by Remus.
XXX
Harry was relieved when Sirius came home in time for dinner that evening. Remus had taken Tonks out for dinner, and Amelia and Susan were eating at their home, so it was just Harry, Minerva, and Sirius. Over the meal, the Black Lord told them what had been going on in his day.
"We've talked a lot about the Wizengamot, Harry, so you understand there are basically three factions right now."
Harry nodded. They had had a lot of lessons on government, and what would be expected of him when he became the Lord Potter. "There are usually at least two front runners, who are the face of the different factions, and then the other Lords and Ladies follow those leaders. Right now, there's those who follow Dumbledore, those who follow Voldemort, and those who back you."
Sirius inclined his head, setting his fork down. "I would call the faction that I belong to the neutral group. We don't see Albus as the new Merlin, and we don't think Voldemort's got the right idea. Most of those who have given me their support were neutral in the last war, or they leaned to the light side but did not actively fight. Druella Zabini and Cyrus Greengrass both spoke with me to lend their support soon after my innocence was proven several years ago. Since then, I have spent a good deal of time with them, and they have shared some concerns over potential Death Eaters not taking kindly to their lack of support. We were in the process of upgrading their wards, and those bastards picked the exact right time to hit. There was a period of roughly two hours where the wards were down, and they struck." Sirius shook his head, grimacing. "They had to have an inside source to tell them when, but we don't know who. And none of the Death Eaters that were caught in the attacks were high enough up to give us anything of use."
Harry sighed, wishing they had more, but knowing that those working the case were doing the best they could.
Minerva set down her napkin. "I have already extended an invitation for Blaise, Daphne, and Astoria to spend the next few days here, until their parents are well enough to leave. Madam Zabini and Lord Greengrass were most grateful, and accepted the assistance. I will be picking them up from the hospital shortly."
Harry nodded. "I'll have Tibby prepare a few rooms for them." He stood up and left the room.
XXX
When Harry entered the sitting room an hour later, he was just in time to see Minerva step out of the Floo, followed quickly by Blaise, Daphne, and Astoria, all still wearing their Hogwarts uniforms.
Harry smiled, trying to look reassuring. "Hey, guys," he greeted. Minerva smiled at him and left them alone, knowing they were probably more comfortable with Harry, rather than their Transfiguration professor.
Blaise jerked his head in a facsimile of a greeting, but the two girls didn't reply. Their faces clearly showed their shock – Harry wasn't sure if grief had kicked in yet.
He bit his lip. "We set up a few rooms for you, next to mine, so if you need anything, I'm right there. Are you hungry? Have you eaten dinner yet?"
Blaise nodded. "Yeah, at the hospital."
Harry returned the nod. "Come on, I'll show you your rooms." They headed up the stairs. "Do you have your things?"
Again, Blaise was the one to respond. "Professor McGonagall shrunk them for us."
Harry nodded again, and gestured for them to show him the shrunken luggage. After they did so, he pulled out his wand and unshrunk all three trunks.
"Won't you get in trouble?" Astoria asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her gaze was focused on the trunks, though; she hadn't actually looked at him since she had arrived.
Harry shook his head, putting his wand back in its holster. "Just a little secret these two already know," he replied, whispering conspiratorially. "The wards block any magic used here. Just so you know." He winked, and was pleased when the ghost of a smile made its way across her face.
After showing all three their rooms, Harry gestured down the hall. "The bathroom's the third door down. The kitchen's all the way on the ground floor and through the double doors, if you get hungry." He gave the directions for Astoria's benefit, since Blaise and Daphne had spent a good deal of time here the previous summer and knew where most things were located in the Castle.
He looked at the three teenagers in front of him, noting their suddenly anxious expressions, and he sighed. "I have a better idea. Why don't you all change into pajamas and come to my room. We'll have a sleepover."
Astoria perked up a little, grateful for the chance to not be alone, and disappeared into the room Harry had pointed out for her.
Blaise and Daphne considered for another moment, before they nodded and went to go change.
Harry headed to his room, and pulled his blankets off the bed, moving them over to the sitting area that his suite had. He set up some pillows, stripping the sofa and chairs that were there, moving everything to the floor, before he changed into pajamas.
When the others joined him, they all made themselves comfortable on the floor, cocooning themselves in the blankets. Talk was sporadic for a few minutes, before Harry suggested they get some sleep. He knew it wasn't likely they would actually get much rest, but they should try.
XXX
Harry wasn't sure at first what had woken him. By the view from the window, it wasn't yet dawn, so why had he been pulled from slumber?
A soft sniffling drew his attention, and Harry raised himself up slightly, looking for its source.
Astoria was curled up in a corner, her knees drawn to her chest and her head buried in her arms. Her shoulders were shaking slightly, and Harry knew she was crying.
Without another thought, he got up quietly, hoping that his movements didn't rouse Blaise and Daphne, still sleeping next to him.
Astoria flinched slightly when Harry sat next to her, but didn't raise her head. Harry settled himself, but didn't speak, hoping that the younger girl would come to him.
A few minutes later, Astoria sniffed and looked over at her host. Harry's profile was calm, as he sat completely relaxed, his knees bent and his arms resting on them. He wasn't looking at her directly, but she imagined he was observing her out of the corner of his eye.
"I miss my mum," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
Harry nodded sympathetically. "Me too," he admitted, his voice just as quiet. Astoria looked at him sharply, and Harry sighed. "I wish I knew what to say to make it better, Astoria. I really do. But the truth is, I don't think that hurt ever goes away." Astoria's crying started anew, and Harry reached over, resting a hand over hers, squeezing gently. "I barely remember my parents, but even when I thought they were drunks who died in a car crash –" Astoria gasped, and Harry grimaced. "Long story. Anyway, the point is, even when I didn't know who they were, who I was, I still missed them. There was a hole in my heart that could never be filled, because my parents weren't there to hug me, to tell me they loved me, to cheer me on at Quidditch or to praise me for my grades, to ground me for having a girl in my room –" Astoria giggled, and Harry smiled. "I never got to have that awkward talk with my dad about girls. Sirius is great, but it's still something I should have shared with my dad. I wonder if he would have told me to go for it when I felt ready, or if I should wait. I never got to experience what having real parents is like. My aunt and uncle hated me, and even though Sirius and Aunt Minerva are wonderful, they're not my mum and dad. And by the time they took over guardianship for me, I really wasn't a child anymore, no matter how much I wish otherwise."
Harry sighed. "I wish I could tell you how to make the hurt disappear. I wish I could tell you that some day, you won't miss her so much. I wish I could tell you that it gets better. But I can't, because I don't think it will. I think the best I can do is tell you that it will get easier."
Astoria swallowed, willing her tears to stop as she leaned into his side, taking comfort in his steady presence.
Harry reached out and drew her closer, his arm snaking across her shoulders. After a few minutes, he felt Astoria's breath even out, and he knew she had fallen back asleep.
He himself dropped off shortly after, and when he woke again, the sun was rising above the Quidditch pitch, and Blaise and Daphne were stirring. He nudged Astoria, and the younger girl groaned, opening her eyes and blinking blearily as she looked around, slightly confused at the position she found herself in.
Harry smiled. "Why don't you use my bathroom. Take a shower, whatever else you need. Flick will make sure you have a change of clothes ready by the time you're done," he referred to the house elf that normally saw to his needs at the Castle.
Astoria nodded and stood up shakily, her legs a little wobbly after hours spent in the same position.
Blaise and Daphne were awake now, and Harry made his way over to them, starting to collect the blankets and pillows. "You guys should get dressed. Breakfast will probably be ready by the time you're done."
They nodded, and went back to the rooms they had been given to find a change of clothes.
XXX
Most of the morning was spent quietly, with the teenagers spending some time just relaxing after a hard term. Apparently, the healers had told them that they should spend the day away from the hospital, and their parents had agreed, not wanting them to be depressed by the surroundings.
By mid morning, they found themselves in the library, Astoria working on some school assignments, while Blaise, Daphne, and Harry had found a few books to lose themselves in, wanting an escape from the harsh realities of life around them.
Harry looked up, startled, when Daphne sat next to him on the loveseat he occupied. Blaise was curled up in a chair nearby, and Astoria had claimed a table, with books and parchment spread out around her. Harry had smiled at the similarities to Hermione, but then, Astoria was one of the best students in her year, so he figured it only made sense.
Daphne looked uncomfortable, as she played with the book in her hands. "Thank you," she blurted out suddenly, her voice quiet so as not to attract the attention of the others.
Harry furrowed his brow. "For what?" he asked curiously.
Daphne shrugged. "For letting us stay here… and thank you for what you said to Astoria last night."
Harry blushed. "I didn't know you were awake," he admitted. "I just wanted to help her, but I don't know if what I said was comforting."
Daphne nodded. "I think it was. I think both of us would have slapped you if you had said that everything was going to be all right. Our mother's dead." She said it so bluntly, that Harry winced. "It's not going to be all right. So thank you for not trying to sugar coat anything."
Harry smiled slightly. "Any time."
Daphne smirked lightly. "Yeah, I know I can always count on you to be honest. It's a quality I really admire in you, Harry." Harry looked embarrassed, and after a moment, Daphne's expression turned serious. "Do you really think we'll feel that hole our whole lives?"
Harry sighed, rubbing his chest absentmindedly. "Yeah, I do," he said truthfully. "Some days will probably be worse than others… birthdays, holidays, anniversaries… Now that I'm older and I understand more, and even remember my mum's death, I think a lot about future events. How my mum won't be there to help Ginny shop for a wedding dress, how my dad won't be there to stand next to me and crack jokes as I tear up watching Ginny walk down the aisle. I won't get to tease him as he sobs unabashedly while holding his first grandchild. My children will never know their grandparents. I missed out on so much, and it hurts. What I told Astoria was true, Daph. That feeling will probably never go away."
"How do you deal with it?" Daphne asked, close to crying herself.
Harry took a deep breath. "By remembering what I have now. Two guardians who love me, an adoptive family who accepted me right from the start and always looked out for me. More adoptive siblings than I know what to do with. I don't have my own family, but I made one, and that's gone a long way in lessening the pain. I think, even if I had grown up with Sirius and Remus, and I had always known who I was, who my parents were, why they weren't with me… I would still feel like something was missing. They were a part of me, and that didn't go away when they died." He sighed again. "Daphne, your mum will always be a part of you and Astoria. It will hurt, there will be days when you just want to curl up and forget the world. The important thing is to remember that that feeling won't last forever. It will get easier. And don't forget her. I barely knew my parents, and I worry about the things I don't know. Sirius has been good at sharing stories, but it hurts that I don't know things. Not the big stuff, but the little things. What was my mum's favorite food? What was my dad's favorite color? You had time to learn those things, Daphne, so while it sucks, just try and be thankful for the time you had. And if you find yourself forgetting, just look in a mirror. Look at Astoria. Your mother is a part of you, and that will never change."
Daphne had tears running down her cheeks by the end of Harry's speech, but she was smiling slightly as she leaned over and hugged him, before muttering an excuse and leaving the room, ostensibly to find a bathroom to clean herself up.
Harry swallowed tightly, and turned his head back to his book, rubbing a hand over his face to try and lessen the burning in his eyes. He had never really dredged up all those feelings before. Sure, he and Sirius had commiserated over stories of his parents, but he had never gone so deep, telling someone about all his regrets and all the pain from not having his parents with him.
He loved living with Sirius and Aunt Minerva, especially when he could compare it to Vernon and Petunia, but even though they were great, they couldn't replace his parents. Not that they ever tried to, which he did appreciate.
He knew the Greengrasses would be facing some difficult times ahead. It would be hard for Daphne and Astoria, to go through all the things that they should share with their mum, and not have her there. When they needed to talk about boys, who would they turn to? When they got married, who would help them plan the wedding? When they had their first child, who would reassure them that they didn't need to go to the hospital for every little kick the baby made?
And that wasn't even getting into what Cyrus Greengrass was facing. He was now a single father with two teenaged girls. In the blink of an eye, their whole lives had changed. Harry wondered if there were any females in his life that could help out whenever Daphne and Astoria needed someone to talk to. He hoped so. Everything was different for them now, and Harry knew he would do whatever he could to help them, but he couldn't do everything. The Greengrasses would need to figure a lot of things out, but Harry vowed to himself to be there for them, however and whenever they needed.