Sideways

Draco woke seeing red. Ginny’s hair was right in his face as her head rested against his chest. As he listened to her breath he tried to hold his own breath, to barely move so he wouldn’t wake her up. The night before had been as close to perfect as he could imagine a night to be. Despite how heavy things were getting, they gradually slowed down and the two fell back asleep. As he thought about the night before he hoped that she would still hold to her lack of regrets in the light of day. A lot could change after a good night’s sleep and he was honestly worried that she would wake up and regret everything that had happened. That she would hate him for letting it happen.

Ginny woke before she let on to Draco that she was awake. She laid against him with her eyes closed listening to his heart beating underneath her. Much like Draco, she was silently worrying over what this morning would be like, if he would have regrets. She enjoyed a few extra minutes of being so close to him before she braced herself for the worst…she didn’t expect that when she lifted her head that he’d be looking at her with a more loving expression than she’d ever seen on his face.

The expression was enough for her to show her how he was feeling, to show her he still had no regrets and for a beat all she did was return it. She lifted up just enough to see his eyes, watching him, but still resting against him just gazing into his grey eyes. He tucked a bit of her hair back and smiled, “g’morning.” He muttered softly.

“Morning.” She replied, her head leaning towards his hand when his fingers touched her hair. With one good morning kiss she was off the bed and out of the room. Draco laid back on the bed, watching her as she slipped out and he just smiled a little to himself, Draco couldn’t remember a time in his life he’d been truly happy, he’d been spoiled sure, but not happy like he was with Ginny. He just pushed back the lingering thought to the back of his mind…despite the feelings, by blood, she was his sister. It wasn’t fair, of all people in the world….her.

When Ginny came out of the bathroom Narcissa was standing in the hall waiting for her. “Can you come with me?” She asked of Ginny and began to walk towards a set of large double doors that seemed to be on the opposite side of the house from Draco’s room. Ginny took in a nervous breath and followed, immediately worried that Narcissa knew what went on between herself and Draco the night before and would reprimand her for acting in such a way. Ginny did not expect what she saw when she walked through the doors.

She was inside the master bedroom…master suite was more like it. It had a sitting area, a writing desk, an open door leading to a closet bigger than her own bedroom, and a door to an attached bathroom. The room was even more luxurious as any other in the home, a large canopy bed with a mix of green, gold, white and silver accents all around. She had expected more darkness in a home like this and Ginny couldn’t help but wonder if it once had been as dark as she thought and was changed when things changed for the family.

Narcissa closed the door and motioned to the chairs near the large window Ginny sat in one, feeling a little awkward. She had spent the night in Draco’s room, she was wearing his clothes…what could Narcissa say that wasn’t negative. Narcissa sat in the other chair, handing Ginny a cup of tea. “I know that this isn’t easy for you, Ginevra.” She began, watching Ginny. She could see the resemblances the longer she stared at the child. “I’m truly sorry for that. I know that you are nearly an adult now, and as much as I wished to be the mother to you I was supposed to be, I have to face the facts. You had a very good mother who protected you and raised you as her own.” Narcissa had seen Molly Weasley kill her sister Bellatrix to protect Ginny and knowing now that Ginny was the girl she lost so long ago, she had conflicting feelings on it all.

Ginny nodded and took a sip of her tea. “I know why you did it, I know you were trying to save me.” Ginny began, not letting her nerves control her this time. “Did any part of you…ever think if you just fought back, you could have kept me?” She asked softly, barely looking at the mother who gave her up.

Narcissa could feel the burning in her sinuses, the tears she rarely ever let fall. “I thought about it, but my husband was a very powerful man and I was very weak, especially after childbirth.” She took in a hesitant breath. “Can I have your confidence, your word that my son does not know what I’m about to tell you?” Ginny looked towards the door, Draco was out there somewhere.

“No.” Ginny told her without hesitation. “Mrs. Malfoy, Draco is my best friend, we don’t have secrets.” It was the last thing Narcissa thought she would hear.

“Hmm, he’s a little more than that I’d say.” The mother spoke without thinking of the effect of her words, she couldn’t walk on eggshells with Ginny forever, but she hadn’t planned on being so blunt. Ginny’s cheeks went red instantly and her eyes went wide before she looked away quickly. “It’s all right, Ginevra, I’m not scolding you.” Ginny still couldn’t turn around. “But I want to answer your questions without hurting my son any more than he’s been hurt by his father, do you understand?”

Ginny slowly turned, looking to Narcissa. She knew that there was something happening between her and Draco, she knew that it was more than a friendship but she wasn’t condemning them for it. It didn’t make sense to her, but she wasn’t going to question it now. “I understand that lies hurt people.” Ginny replied, trying to push aside how awkward she was feeling.

Narcissa took in a deep breath, almost sounding like she was losing her patience but after a few moments she seemed to calm. Ginny couldn’t help but wonder how they did that, her and Draco both seemed to be able to push away their feelings when they had a purpose. Narcissa looked back to the door and then to Ginny, deciding to tell her anyway. “The night you were born, Lucius came into the room less than half an hour after I’d sent you away. I tried to lie, I told him you died in childbirth and that I couldn’t bear to see you so I sent you away, but.” She took a deep breath, she’d never told a soul what happened that night. “He knew I was lying and he got very angry.” Ginny’s stomach seemed to drop, Narcissa’s tone made it very clear she was about to reveal something terrible. Ginny’s eyes welled and a tear fell down her pale cheek as Narcissa told her about how Lucius beat her, told her she wouldn’t ever shame him again and took away her ability to ever have more children – her words leaving the small ginger stunned.

Narcissa continued, overlooking Ginny’s inability to find words with that knowledge. “The truth is, as much as I wanted you, wanted to know you all these years, I have never dwelled on not fighting back. It was the right choice for us all. You lived and grew up loved. You didn’t have as much as I wish you could have, but you had a family. And if he killed me I can’t even imagine what would have happened to Draco.” At that both women turned towards the door once more as she thought of her son.

“I don’t think you did the wrong thing.” Ginny began, shifting in her seat and pulling a leg under herself. “I just...I wonder if you messed with fate by keeping me alive.” She told the woman honestly and Narcissa frowned for a moment.

“I don’t think-“

But Ginny stopped her as she kept talking, explaining herself. “I was given away by my mother to keep me alive. By the age of eleven I’d been possessed by Voldemort and every year after something awful was happening around me. Until I was fifteen and started secretly dating my brother while he was plotting to kill someone to save you and his awful father. The girl who grew up with the boy who lived, in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix…dates a death eater. Then after a war…I find out he’s my brother. And…” She looked into Narcissa’s eyes for a moment, the woman already knew, no point in hiding it. “And I still can’t stay away from him. I’m completely fucked. Don’t you think it’s possible you were wrong?”

Narcissa took in a deep breath, taking in everything Ginny said, was unpleasant as it was. “No, I don’t.” She didn’t have to consider her answer, she was very sure of it. “You had a family who loved you, you learned early how to survive and you are incredibly strong. You have power and strength and a good soul.” She shifted some herself, turning more towards the girl who seemed to unsure about herself. “And so you’ve been seeing a Death Eater, I was married to one, I’m the mother of one.” She let out a sarcastic chuckle and Ginny wasn’t sure what was happening. “None of us are normal anymore, Ginevra. The last year of my life was spent harboring the Dark Lord right here in this house. Now it’s just Draco and I, my husband is back in prison, my son may end up there next, my home is free and I found you. Nothing is normal but it doesn’t make any of it wrong. I’m not going to tell you that things are going to be okay for you and Draco, that love saves us all or any of that rubbish. It won’t be no matter what happens next. Is it ideal? No. Is it your fault? No. But no one here is judging you except yourself.”