Chapter 9
Harry was exhausted.
It had been a long afternoon at Hogsmeade, getting all the injured seen to, and organizing people to get them back to the Infirmary at Hogwarts.
The Order had tried to take charge, but found themselves relegated to the background, as the students were more willing to listen to Harry and his friends than a group of strangers.
Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley all appeared shortly after the Order, with more Aurors, but the fighting was over.
Sirius was very happy that Harry and Susan were all right, and apologized for not arriving sooner. As he explained, Dumbledore had called an Order meeting that morning; they had all been at Grimmauld Place when Snape had stumbled into the room informing them of the attack. Voldemort had decided to only inform those who would be involved, so as not to let it get out beforehand. He was growing steadily more suspicious, after the listening devices had warned them of more attacks on wizards and muggles, so Snape felt he needed to tread carefully. But even he wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop this one. He hadn't even known about it until Madam Rosmerta had sent a Patronus to Filius, who was in charge of the castle while Dumbledore and Minerva were at the Order meeting, informing them. Snape would have been there as well, but he had had several potions that needed to be completed, and couldn't leave them unattended. Sirius informed Harry that Minerva had gone directly to the castle with Dumbledore, to get an update on the injured students who were already being seen to by Madam Pomfrey.
It was early evening before Sirius told Harry to get the remaining students up to the castle. There was nothing more to do in the village, and the students who were still there should head back to the school before it got much darker.
Harry nodded, and rounded up the dozen or so students who had stayed to help clean up, giving Sirius and Remus one last farewell, before they headed back.
XXX
Harry pulled out his DA coin as they walked, and called for a meeting for that evening. When they entered the castle, they headed straight up to the lounge, and waited for everyone else to arrive. First and second years who hadn't been at Hogwarts two years earlier, when they had needed to employ the coins, could be informed of the impromptu meeting by their elder Housemates.
It took fifteen minutes for the entire group to assemble, and when they did, they were completely silent. It was unnerving for Harry to see all of his classmates so somber.
He took a deep breath, squeezed Ginny's hand, and then stood up. He walked to the front of the room, where they had a board filled with photos that they had taken over the years since the creation of the club. It was mostly Colin's doing, but they had decided to take a wall and fill it with pictures of all of them: practicing, studying, anything really. They wanted to document the club, and the inter-House friendships that they had formed, for everyone, now and in the future, to see. The idea was that each year, more photos would be added, and new students would get to learn about former members.
Harry searched for a few minutes, and pulled away three specific photos. He turned back to the crowd, seeing all their eyes on him. He held the first photo up. "Adrian Whitlock, fourth year Slytherin." He turned to the second photo. "Eliza Melner, third year Hufflepuff." He held up the last photo. "Mark Belmont, fourth year Gryffindor." He put the photos on the nearest table. "Three students. Seven townspeople. Eight major injuries, twenty nine minor to moderate." His green eyes were blazing as he looked at each and every student in the room. The first and second years, especially, were shell-shocked. They hadn't been in the village, and had only heard about it as the injured were being brought back to the castle.
Harry sighed. "I know the war hit us hard today. I know how difficult it is to continue to stand up when it feels like the world is driving you down. Some people, they get pushed down so much, they simply can't stand back up again. But the trick is to use your feelings – your pain, your anger, your fear – and let it spur you forward. Trust in yourselves, and in each other. Don't lose yourself in the grief, and never forget what we've lost."
Harry bit his lip, and looked to his friends, who were all watching him with steely looks, full agreement of his words clear on their faces.
"Why should we fight a hopeless battle?" a second year Slytherin asked, his young voice carrying clearly in the silence that had followed Harry's words. "Why should we stick our neck out for someone else?"
Harry looked at the young boy, his gaze compassionate and understanding, though his words were strong and threaded with steel. "Voldemort doesn't care what House you're in. He doesn't care how many OWLs or NEWTs you received, or what rank in your class you are. All he wants is total domination, and if he thinks you're in his way, he will remove the problem. We have to protect each other. No one man is a mountain. We need each other."
Susan stepped forward, breaking from the group as she moved to stand next to Harry. Her eyes were just as determined, her stance just as firm, as she looked out over the crowd. "Harry's right. We live or die by our friends, our family. We protect each other, and we trust in each other." Her gaze narrowed slightly. "Either we stand together, or we fall together."
Silence greeted her claim, as the weight of her words settled over the students. Many of them looked scared, some hesitant, and a few, determined.
It happened slowly; first, it was Harry's friends who stood up, showing their support. Then it was some of the older students – Terry, Ernie, Hannah, and most of the other seventh years who were at the meeting and not in the Hospital Wing.
Then other students began to stand. Younger years who had a light in their eyes that told Harry they trusted their leaders to see them through this; third and fourth years who had been touched by war much earlier than was healthy. Fifth and sixth years who were determined to fight for their future.
Soon enough, the entire group was on their feet, showing their resolve. Harry was overwhelmed by it, and smiled tightly, trying to show his appreciation. "Thank you." His voice broke slightly, and Ginny quickly stepped forward to grasp his hand, lending his support. On the other side, Susan also took his hand, and after giving a look of gratitude to both girls, Harry continued. "Together, we'll end this. We will persevere. We will endure." He nodded decisively. "We all have to make the choice between what is right and what is easy. No one can make that decision for you. But if we stand together, we can win this."
Susan sighed. "It's getting late, so we should all get some rest. Don't withdraw. If you need to talk, your Prefects are here. Harry and I are here. If you want to talk to a professor, they will undoubtedly all be willing to listen. Don't turn away help out of pride or fear. You won't be cast aside."
Harry nodded in agreement. "Susan's right. Let your friends help you. Let us all help each other. Good night, everyone."
There were good nights all around, and slowly, the large group left the lounge, headed to their respective common rooms. It had been a long day, and they doubted things would get much easier from here on out.
XXX
Dumbledore chose to speak with the student body the next evening, to insure that everyone was present. Most of the injured students had been released from the Hospital Wing by that point, with only a few of the more seriously injured remaining under the mediwitch's ministrations.
Dumbledore stood up once people seemed to be finished eating. His eyes were grave as he looked out over the students, thinking of the three children who would never sit in this hall again. He cast his gaze momentarily to the black banners that hung from the rafters, before he spoke.
"I am certain by this point, that all of you know the full extent of the situation with the battle in Hogsmeade yesterday. Let Messrs. Whitlock and Belmont, and Miss Melner's memories live on in each of us. Mourn their passing, and remember the cause they gave their lives to defend."
Harry had to grit his teeth at that. Adrian, Eliza, and Mark were too young. They shouldn't have had to give their lives for anything. Why had it taken so long for Dumbledore's Order to show up?
The headmaster was still speaking. "I know that all of you are in shock. Though there have been many battles in this war, it has only just been brought so close to home."
Here, Harry had to stifle a snort. Next to him, Ginny was nearly grinding her teeth. Only just brought close to home? How many of these students had been affected already? The Patil twins had lost relatives, Daphne and Astoria had lost their mother. So many others had had loved ones fall at the hands of the Dark Lord or his followers.
What is Dumbledore playing at? Ginny scowled mentally.
Harry rolled his eyes. He's Dumbledore, he's always playing at something.
Ginny nodded slightly. How many people in this room have been affected by Voldemort? she asked rhetorically. In this war or the last one? Your parents, Susan's parents, my mum's brothers, Regulus, Sirius' incarceration, McGonagall's family… everyone at least knows someone who has been touched by this war.
Harry sighed softly. They call this the second war, but it's not. The war never ended, even with Voldemort's disappearance. We're fighting the same battles, against the same Death Eaters. Only it's worse, because there's more of them now, with all the recruiting that got done in those years of 'peace'.
There was a cry of outrage that interrupted their conversation, and Harry and Ginny snapped back to the world around them in confusion. What had they missed?
Playing back the words the headmaster had spoken while they had been talking, Harry realized that the old man had just canceled Hogsmeade trips until further notice, due to safety concerns. He shook his head, disappointed. While he could understand why Dumbledore felt the need to carry out such an action, he didn't think the headmaster had really thought about the consequences. Besides being a nice place to carry out some shopping and stock up on needed supplies like quills and parchment, those trips gave the students a chance to get out of the castle, to breathe and stretch their legs. He didn't think it was the best idea to confine several hundred students to the castle for the foreseeable future. He would place money on mayhem and chaos levels going up in the remaining weeks until the Christmas holidays.
Glancing at him sidelong, Ginny agreed wholeheartedly. You know this means that your job as Head Boy just got a lot harder, she commented.
Harry looked at her and groaned audibly, causing the rest of their friends to turn to them, confused. "Don't ask," he said, seeing their inquisitive looks.
XXX
School continued after the attack, with students and professors trying to return to some semblance of normalcy. Harry knew the third and fourth years were taking it the hardest, having lost several of their classmates. Seeing the way they struggled to return to their studies, he got together with Susan and the seventh year Prefects, and decided to call a meeting for all third and fourth years the Wednesday after the attack.
The group of students gathered in the DA lounge, and once they were all present, Harry warded the room to insure they weren't interrupted.
They had moved things around in the room, and rather than having tables set up, there was now a large, clear space on the floor, with pillows and blankets set up for comfort.
Harry smiled as they all took a seat. "I called you all here because we've seen how hard you're struggling to get back into the swing of classes. I can imagine how scary it must be to lose a classmate, a friend, even if I've never actually been in that position myself. I've come close enough that I hope I can comprehend some of what you must be feeling. We wanted to give you a chance to talk, to maybe share some stories. Everyone is so eager to put the attack behind them and return to their normal routine, but I don't think that's the best course of action. I don't want to forget Adrian, Mark, or Eliza. I don't think you do either."
With some prompting at first, the students opened up and began sharing stories of their fallen classmates. Evan told them about how he and his roommate had come in late to their first Transfiguration class, and McGonagall had threatened to transfigure one of them into a pocket watch.
Harry chuckled at the story. "She threatened the same thing to me and Ron," he grinned. "Don't worry, she wouldn't have carried through with it."
The evening wore on, and more stories were shared. Stories about how Eliza was always willing to help anyone who needed it, and how Adrian had stood up for several first year Gryffindors who were being teased by some older Slytherins just a few weeks ago – Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle, Harry knew. They were the only real contenders. It boiled his blood that those three were still here, but unfortunately, they had yet to be caught actually doing anything, though Harry was positive that they had been involved in the Death Eater infiltration last June.
"You want to know what one of my favorite memories is?" he asked, to general consent. He smiled. "My fourth year, just a few months after the DA started. You fourth years were just first years then, remember?" They nodded. "That Christmas, we had a huge snowball fight, with everyone involved. It was the first time I really saw all the Houses mixing together. Everyone was calling out for friends to join them, and no one cared about what colors were on your ties. There was one moment, where you, Evan, called out for Adrian to help you take down a couple of Hufflepuffs. At that moment, I realized that what we were trying to do was actually working. That's the moment I saw that everyone was capable of looking beyond Houses, if given the opportunity. You were all able to get past the history, and the preconceived notions, and see each other as friends, people with common interests and common goals."
Evan sniffed. "I didn't really think about that," he admitted. "Adrian was a nice guy, and he liked Quidditch. He was my friend."
"Exactly," Harry smiled. "You didn't care what House he was in. You saw him as a person, and he saw you. That's what the DA is all about. That's why we formed this club. To look beyond colors and House stigmas, and see that we're all people. No one is inherently good or evil, we all have that choice. Everything you do is a choice. Your paths are you own, and you have the opportunity to affect the outcome. We may have picked the harder path by not giving in to Voldemort, but I think that our journey will be all the more rewarding because of it."
Hermione shifted in her seat. "There's a famous poet named Robert Frost, have any of you heard of him?" Several heads nodded, most likely muggleborns or half bloods. "He wrote this poem called 'The Road Not Taken'. It has this one line, 'two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference'." She glanced at Harry. "I think that quote applies here. Like Harry said, we all have to make that choice at some point. We may have picked the harder path, I believe, but it was the right one. We chose friendship, and life, and love, and happiness. We chose not to bow down to a man who wants us to call him 'master'. That was our choice."
Sheila furrowed her brow. "But why would I choose otherwise?" she asked, scrunching her nose in disgust. "Why would I want to call someone 'master'?"
Harry snorted. "You'd be surprised at how many choose otherwise. Voldemort's Death Eaters made the opposite decision as you. They chose to give their life and freewill to the cause of a megalomaniac. They chose to enjoy the pain and fear of others. You might think it's a no brainer, but some people don't see it that way. That's what sets you apart from them. You still have that ability to choose. You are not obligated to jump when Volddemort says so." He glanced at Hermione and smiled. "As long as we're bringing quotes into this, there's one by Robert Henlein, a muggle author, that I rather like: 'You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once'."
Everyone seemed to consider his words carefully, and Susan shook her head slightly. "It is a good quote, though I would rather have both. But I will fight for my freedom every time. I won't let a bastard like Voldemort take it from me."
They all nodded determinedly, and spent another minute in silence before they headed back to their dorms, thanking Harry, Susan, and the Prefects for doing this for them.
When the third and fourth years were gone, Susan turned to Harry. "It was a good idea to do this," she said. "You were right, as always."
Harry shrugged. "They just lost three of their classmates. I know that people want to get back to normal as quickly as possible, but how can they do that when they're going to class every day and seeing the empty seat where Mark, Adrian, and Eliza used to sit? It's just not possible for them. They will get better, but it's going to take time."
Daphne nodded, her expression somber at the memory of the students who were absent from the gathering that evening. "You're right. I get why everyone is moving on the way they are, but their classmates need that time."
Everyone else gave their approval at the meeting, thinking it had gone very well, and had accomplished what they had set out to do.
XXX
Harry found that he was really looking forward to the Christmas holidays, as the next couple of weeks passed. You couldn't see the war in the stone hallways of the school, but you could see it in the eyes of the students, in the tight smiles of the professors. He needed a break from the oppressive atmosphere, and the crowds of students who rushed from class to class, their eyes wide with either fear or sadness.
He knew his friends felt the same way, and more than once, they all had to retreat to the Room of Requirement to let off some steam against the practice dummies the Room provided.
At the beginning of December, Harry received a letter from Sharptooth telling him that the forged Sword of Gryffindor was ready for him to pick up, and he replied that he would do so over the holidays.
They were happy that something was going right. With the real Sword, they could continue horcrux hunt. They could destroy the two they had in their possession, and when they found the others, they could destroy those immediately.
It gave them a sense of purpose, and it made them feel like they were moving forward. Even if it was just a letter, they felt like it was progress.
XXX
Sirius knocked briefly before he entered the pristine potions lab. Narcissa looked up and nodded a greeting before returning to the potion in front of her.
Sirius was content to wait until she finished, knowing how volatile potions could be. He took the time to observe his cousin in silence.
Narcissa looked well. Instead of the posh and elegant robes she had worn as the Lady Malfoy, she was wearing a simple blouse and skirt. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she looked younger by far than she had before the dissolving of her marriage. She looked… happy. She wasn't greeting her husband's sleazy friends or pretending to support Lucius' goals and ideals. She wasn't acting the part of a Lady. All she had to do here was follow the steps and brew the potion.
She had always liked potions, Sirius remembered. And she had always been rather good at them. She could have gotten a Potions Mastery, had she not married Lucius and given up those dreams.
Narcissa added the last ingredient, stirred three times clockwise, and then stepped away. "Good afternoon, Sirius. This is a surprise."
Her tone was courteous with just a hint of worry at the unplanned visit. Sirius smiled and kissed her cheek in greeting. "Narcissa. Are you able to step away? I don't wish to take you away from your potion."
Narcissa shook her head. "It needs to stew for nine hours, so I am free for now. Shall we head up to the kitchen? I can fix some tea and sandwiches."
Sirius nodded his consent, and the two headed upstairs. Narcissa puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes, putting water on the stove and taking ingredients out of the cold box for an afternoon snack. She was so grateful for Sirius' help; she knew she would not have made it very far if she had had to do this alone. But Sirius had given her everything she needed.
After their conversation that summer, she had waited nearly ten days before the opportunity had presented itself. Taking the bag she had packed and hidden – Narcissa was talented with wards as well, and had made certain no one, not even the house elves, would find it – she had left, never looking back.
Once at the Leaky Cauldron, she had been surprised to find that Sirius had thought of everything. Tom the barman had given her a key with a wink, telling her that a private room had been set up and paid for, for the next two days. She had stayed there, afraid to leave her room, afraid that her husband's lackeys would find her. Meals had been delivered to her room three times a day, and she had had little to do but worry, until two days after she had made her escape.
On the third day, a note had been delivered with her morning meal. It had a simple message: 'collect your things and hold on'. She had been confused, but had collected her still packed bag, and clutched the note tightly. A few moments later, she had disappeared from the room at the back of the Leaky Cauldron, and appeared in the living room of a cozy house on a quiet stretch of land.
Sirius had been waiting for her, and had shown her around her new home, a safe house Sirius had had the goblins purchase on his behalf through a muggle realtor. By using muggle means and an alias, he doubted anyone would find it. Once the home was in his possession, he had converted it into a wizard's dwelling, adding a potions lab in the basement and switching all the muggle appliances to wizarding ones, before he called the goblins to ward it. He had stocked the bedroom closet with clothing for his cousin, and made sure that the kitchen was filled with food. He told her that he had assigned one of the Black house elves to her new home, to help with the cleaning and ensure that she would have enough food and other necessities.
Narcissa placed a cup of tea in front of her cousin, drawing him out of his thoughts. She sat down herself, putting her own cup on the table and the plate of sandwiches between them. She had a perfect view out of the large window behind Sirius, and took a moment to admire the scenery. Her new home was located in the country, a short distance from Devon, but you could never tell, just looking out the window. There wasn't a building in sight. She was grateful that Sirius had had the goblins include a yard in the wards, so that she had a place to go outside if she wanted. She didn't want to be confined to the house.
Sirius took a sip of his tea and set the cup back down. "How are you doing, Narcissa?" he asked curiously.
Narcissa smiled softly. "I'm well, Sirius, thank you. I could never have escaped that life without you. Severus has been by often, helping me with potions and providing an ear if I wish to talk to someone." She bit her lip. "I'm worried about him."
Sirius frowned. "How so?"
Narcissa sighed. "He has told me that the Dark Lord has become more suspicious. That he worries his position as a spy may become compromised."
Sirius bit his lip. "We have the same worries," he admitted. "I have told Severus to use caution. We want to stop as many attacks as we can, but we cannot ask him to give his life for that goal. I won't ask him to do that."
Narcissa nodded. "I understand. And I told him to be careful as well. He truly does have a difficult role in this war, doesn't he."
Sirius lifted one shoulder up and then dropped it. "I'll never admit it to his face, but I admire him." Narcissa smiled slightly, and Sirius shook his head. "It takes a lot of guts to follow orders day in and day out in the hopes that one day, you'll be able to tell your master what you think of him."
Narcissa nodded slowly. "I understand. I'm not sure I would be able to do what he does."
Sirius sighed. "I may not see him as a friend, but he does have a difficult task, and I can acknowledge that I didn't exactly handle things well when we were in school. I could have been better."
Narcissa shrugged. "From what I remember, he could have as well. Hogwarts wasn't like it is now. We lived and breathed House rivalries. Gryffindor and Slytherin were complete opposites, and it was ingrained into our minds to hate those of the opposite House."
Sirius agreed, and then shifted in his seat. "I just wanted to stop by to see how you're doing, Narcissa. I know it has been difficult, living alone, spending most of your time with no one to talk to."
Narcissa sobered at the reminder of the long days and lonely nights. "I'm fine, Sirius. This is better than any alternative."
Sirius nodded, smiling as he reached out and covered his cousin's hand with one of his own. "It's good that you can focus on the positives. You've taken this all very well."
Narcissa didn't say anything for a few minutes, considering both herself and her cousin, and how they had changed from when they were younger. "You're very different, you know that?" she asked suddenly, looking at Sirius.
Sirius furrowed his brow. "How so?"
Narcissa sighed. "You're more… world-weary. More mature. Harder. You've grown up quite a bit since we were children, and I agree with many of the changes you've brought to the wizarding world, through the Wizengamot."
Sirius smiled slightly. He had been fighting an uphill battle in that arena, attempting to take on many problems, such as the disparity between purebloods and muggleborns, werewolf rights, and the like. There were so many issues with their world, and he intended to fix as many as he could. "Thank you," he said, before moving to stand up. "I should get home, or Amelia will worry."
Narcissa nodded and stood as well. "Thank you for stopping by, Sirius." She left him in the front room, the only room that anyone could apparate or disapparate from, and only if they were on the master list, which traced magical signatures. At this point, Narcissa, Sirius, Snape, and Minerva were the only ones on that list.
Sirius gave Narcissa one last farewell, and disapparated.
Narcissa stayed in the room for a moment longer, still thinking about the huge change in her life. She had loved being Narcissa Malfoy, but living here, being by herself and reinventing her life… it was different, but she thought she liked being Narcissa Black even more.