act I - IV
Regulus sent a text out to Dorcas, Barty, Evan, and Pandora to ask if any of them had interest in watching the Marauders gig that night. His reasons had been that it was a local showing and there was free admission, a bargain for the growing band. But his friends knew the real reason. Or rather, they thought they did.
"You sure you don't want to watch your brother?" Pandora asked delicately as they all sat around at Barty and Evan's kitchen table.
"Are you kidding? I hate my brother, if I wanted to see him I would talk to him, not watch in the crowd like some creepy fan." Regulus spat in reply. However once he said it, he realized that Pandora's guess would have been a much better reason for wanting to go to the performance. He knew he couldn't say it was because of James Potter, if he did his friends would have laughed in his face and assumed it was a joke. Everyone knew Regulus Black couldn't stand James Potter.
And rightfully so, it was him that took his older brother away from his parents. It was him that could never stop talking for one second of his life all throughout school. It was him that didn't even remember who he was the first time Regulus approached him in the coffee shop. It was him that looked so painfully gorgeous whenever he played his music.
Dorcas raised a brow. "Okay, so if you're not there to see Sirius, why would you want to go?" Regulus knew that she had a lot more information on the subject than than others, from the way that she asked the question. What Regulus didn't know, is just how much she knew.
"... Okay. Maybe I do want to see him. Just a little." Regulus admitted. And while it wasn't entirely a lie, it was not the truth.
Pandora smiled and placed a hand on his arm. "It's okay, we'll go. Lily actually asked me if I was interested earlier, so I already planned on going. But the rest of you should come. We can meet up when we get there."
-
Peter called rehearsal off the next morning. It was very much needed, after the mess of an aftermath from their gig the night before. But still, James found it strange with how important the upcoming deadlines were.
He had been one of the last to leave the bar, Regulus and Evan left first after Sirius started to yell. Pandora took off after her brother so Lily went with her. Sirius stayed for just long enough to yell at James and leave without getting a reply. Remus stayed back with James for a little after Marlene and Mary took the hint that they should go.
"Sorry, James." Remus started as he put their glasses in the sink of the bar.
James was slightly taken aback by this. "Why?"
"Well, that must suck. Finding out Regulus is his brother, now Sirius is mad. Getting that upset isn't really fair since you didn't know, and Regulus not telling you-"
"Remus, it's fine." James snapped, cutting him off. Remus stopped suddenly in confusion. "I should have recognized him, I don't even know why I didn't. I guess I just am as selfish as he said I was."
"James, stop it. You know that's not true. You aren't selfish because you had a secret kept from you, you know that. Right?" James shrugged, avoiding Remus' eyes as they walked out of Honeyduke's. "Come on, talk to me. You helped me with all of that Sirius stuff earlier so the least I can do is get you through this part. If you want me to talk to Sirius for you, or think of what you can say to him. Even to Regulus, I can help-"
"Remus, there is no situation. I don't need any help."
"A lot happened, there are things we can do about that-"
"Then I just don't want your help." He spat.
Remus stopped trying and they drove home in silence. It wasn't until they were approaching James' driveway that he remembered something. "I left my house keys at the studio."
"Oh, I reckon it's locked by now. You can stay over mine for the night." James started to protest. "I'm not leaving you out on the street, Potter. You are staying over my house tonight."
-
It was early the next morning that James woke up, unable to fall back asleep. The studio would still be locked until midmorning but he needed out. He quickly scribbled a note to Remus about leaving to work on his music and left quietly.
James pushed open the door to the coffee shop, the bell above tinkling softly. Lily was already seated by the window, scrolling through her phone. She waved him over with a smile, her latte steaming in front of her.
“Hey, rockstar,” she teased as James sat down. “Still riding the high from last night’s gig?”
James smirked faintly and tried to shake off the memory that sat in his stomach with dread. “Something like that. Things got… complicated.”
“I know you found out about Regulus, but I didn't think you guys were very close. Wasn't that just a problem between Sirius and Regulus?” she asked, but before he could answer, his eyes caught sight of Regulus sitting a few tables away with Pandora, they were talking loudly to Dorcas behind the counter. He showed no sign of what had happened the night before.
James stiffened, his jaw tightening as he watched Regulus laugh at something Pandora said. His heart sank, a cocktail of frustration and longing swirling in his chest. "Uh- well, we had talked a few times."
"How much?"
"I might've been the one who invited him to come to the gig. We met here a couple times and he helped me write some of my songs... and gave me a ton of advice on everything that went on with the band." Lily's mouth gaped with the new information. But James wasn't looking at her, his eyes were still focused on the group behind her.
“What is it?” Lily asked, following his gaze. “Oh. Them.” James nodded in agreement, tearing his eyes away.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lily asked gently, but James shook his head.
“I just… I need to clear my head. Let’s focus on you. Pandora? Since when?” Lily blushed a little.
"Not too long... The day after Mary and I got in a big argument. She had copied something I said to her and used it in our song. The next day she showed up suddenly dating Sirius so I went and talked to Pandora after rehearsal and it just happened."
James nodded absentmindedly, trying his best to listen and not look back at the boy behind her again. But it was hard, Regulus was all he could think about. He had lied to James, or at least deceived him. And then Sirius had the nerve to be mad at James for it? It wasn't fair.
-
A few days passed before James and Regulus truly saw each other again. They had agreed to meet in a quiet practice room at James’ studio to work on the project, a collaboration they’d started before. Peter cancelled rehearsal again when none of them would speak when they were supposed to be playing together.
James arrived first, nervously adjusting his guitar strap as he set up. When Regulus walked in, clutching his notebook and two coffees, the tension in the room was palpable.
“Hey,” Regulus said softly.
“Hey,” James replied, avoiding his gaze. They both busied themselves setting up their working stations, the silence stretching until it was almost unbearable. Regulus started to pull more paper from his folder. "You write music?"
"Yeah, my friends play instruments." He replied dryly.
"Cool, you gonna start a band?"
"Maybe," Regulus mumbled back.
Finally, James sighed, deciding it was going to be a long and unsuccessful practice if he didn't say something. Running a hand through his hair, he forced himself to turn towards the other boy and face the situation. “Look, about the other night… I’m sorry.”
Regulus glanced up, surprised. “For what?”
“For… everything. For putting you in that position by asking you to come. For not standing up to Sirius about the way he was talking to you, I didn't really stop him even though he didn't know what was happening. For-”
“James, stop,” Regulus interrupted, his voice firm but kind. “I was the one that didn't tell you about Sirius and I'd connection, I don't expect you to remember that from five years ago when we never talked and my brother and I don't mention it. I made my own choices about coming. You don't have to carry all of the blame from things all the time.”
James looked at him, his chest tightening. “Well, if it isn't my fault... what happens?”
"You can be upset or be mad. You can be mad at me for not telling you. You can be mad at Sirius for the way he reacted, even if he's your best friend or my brother."
"Yeah, why didn't you tell me?"
Regulus paused for a moment at the question. He thought about it. "... Because I've always been Sirius' little brother. Especially to you. But I figured it had been so long and we don't look alike, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and go about this a different way." Regulus' lips curved into a small smile. “Also for the record, I do listen to your music, just a little. Originally out of curiosity for how my brother was doing... and then I actually started to like it. I thought your lyrics were kinda cool and it all sounded so good together."
James’ expression softened, biting back his shock from the admission, and he nodded. "Guess we should get this going then."
"You can read through a couple of these, if you want" Regulus replied, handing him the notebook delicately. James read a couple pages quickly, flipping through the book silently, until one caught his eye.
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
"This one... this one is brilliant. Why didn't you finish it?
Regulus shrugged. "Didn't know how to, managers didn't like it."
James stood from their seat in the office and gestured for Regulus to follow him into the studio. He sat at his stool and grabbed his guitar. He strummed a couple of notes before picking up a rhythm and playing along to the lyrics, adding on as he went. When he finished, Regulus looked up at him in awe.
"How-how do you do that?"
"Well, I went to music school for like twelve years and I'm song writer. It's kinda part of the job." James shrugged, putting the guitar back on its stand. "So... do you plan on using it as a poem still, with some of the words I added on or are you scrapping it?"
"You can take it, seriously. I tried to make it work for half a year and you figured it out in two minutes. The title I thought of was 'Last Kiss' if you're interested," Regulus replied quickly. James smiled and they went back over to their workspace. He pulled out a notebook of his own and searched for a few minutes. He stopped on a page and handed it over to Regulus.
"Loved this one but no one else did. I bet it's better in poem-form. Or maybe it's just too sad or whatever."
I've been the archer
I've been the prey
Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? (But who could stay?)
'Cause they see right through me
They see right through me
Can you see right through me?
"Yeah, that's... it's perfect. You're not going to use it?"
"Doesn't really fit my brand, I guess." James shrugged. After finishing looking through each other's notebooks, James walked back into the studio to test out the new song again. Regulus followed him in, this time sitting down at the piano in the corner of the room.
"Potter, try this one." Regulus said after he had finished playing a few times in a row with success. He handed James a new sheet of music that he'd brought over with him and a handwritten page of lyrics that went along with it. James studied the sheet for a few minutes before handing it back to Regulus, keeping the lyric sheet for himself. He lifted his guitar from the stand again and started to play.
"Just trust me, you'll be fine"
And when I'm back with my baby, I feel it
Another version of me, I was in it
I wave goodbye to the end of beginning
After James had started to play for a few minutes, singing along mindlessly, Regulus pressed down on a few of the piano keys. He propped the notes up against the music desk and started the play along. He sung quietly at first before increasing his volume with the progression of the song. They began to play in sync, the music filling the room and smoothing the edges of their previous awkwardness. As the melody swelled, James found himself lost in the rhythm, his eyes drifting to Regulus behind him. Their harmonies blended seamlessly, and for a moment, it felt like everything else faded away. For the first time that day, James forgot how mad Sirius was, how mad he had been at Regulus, his guilt, how he'd met Regulus. None of it mattered.
They fell into silence as the song finished. "You sing? And play piano?" James questioned after a minute. He stood from his stool and walked closer to Regulus.
"A little, not like performance worthy but I can play a few songs while reading the notes," Regulus replied, face going red with sudden embarrassment. "And you're a pretty easy person to play with, you make everything sound good. Even my crappy little poems."
"Well then I guess you're lucky, a true super fan getting a private concert by his favorite member of the band." James joked. Instead of fighting back, Regulus lightly elbowed the other boy as a retaliation. James blushed at the interaction.
"How do you play with both hands and not accidentally play the wrong notes?" James invited himself to sit beside Regulus on the piano to answer the question. He started to play slowly, allowing for Regulus to start playing at the same time. James was absentmindedly giving instructions that he knew Regulus was not paying attention to, they both significantly more focussed on the fact that their fingers were brushing each others as they played. Slower and slower, the contact becoming longer and longer.
James looked up from the instrument and stopped playing, Regulus following suit until they were making careful eye contact. James finally tore away, though all he wanted to do was lean in.
“That was…” Regulus started, his cheeks flushing.
“Yeah,” James agreed, his voice barely above a whisper. For a heartbeat, it felt like they might cross the line again, the unspoken tension thick in the air. But instead, James gave Regulus a small, warm smile and cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming.”
Regulus smiled back. “Anytime.”
-
Regulus hummed the melody they’d worked on as he walked home from the studio, the lyrics James had given him sitting like a rock in his bag. Playing with James again had reignited something in him, a drive he hadn’t felt in a long time. One that he'd never allowed himself to pursue, watching him from classrooms away for the years they spent in school. When he got home, he found Evan and Barty lounging in the living room of their shared flat. For once they seemed to not be fighting.
“You’re back early,” Evan said, glancing up from his phone.
“How’d it go with James?” Pandora added from somewhere in the kitchen he couldn't see, her curiosity piqued. All of his friends' were shocked when he'd told them about the arrangement they'd made, even more shocked that he had kept the secret of his brother from James.
“It was… good,” Regulus admitted, dropping his bag by the door. “Really good, actually. Made me realize something.”
“What’s that?” Barty asked, sitting up straighter. Regulus took a seat on the couch beside him, making sure not to sit in between him and Evan, who leaned against the couch on the floor. The last thing he wanted was to get stuck in between them, fighting or not. Pandora entered the living room as well and placed four mugs of tea on the coffee table.
“That we’ve been talking about starting our own band for years, and we keep making excuses not to. Why not just go for it?”
Pandora grinned. “Finally! I’ve been saying this forever.”
Evan raised an eyebrow. “You serious about this?”
“Dead serious,” Regulus said, a fire in his eyes. “We have the talent. We have the ideas. Dorcas had to get a second job because we took so long to make something happen. What’s stopping us?”
Barty and Evan exchanged a glance before nodding. “Alright,” Barty said. “Let’s do it.”
Dorcas let herself in a few minutes later, asking what the passionate conversation that had escalated from the suggestion was about. When they told her, she sat down on the floor with them and beamed. "Finally! Oh, my God you guys couldn't have come to your senses a week ago when I decided to take the stupid barista job?"
The five of them laughed and continued to plan out how they were going to pull off the band they'd dreamed about since they'd all met in school years ago. The dozens of 'The Skittles' posters that littered all of their closets collecting dust would finally have a purpose.
-
Meanwhile, Sirius sat on the fire escape stairs behind his flat, fiddling nervously with his jacket zipper. He’d texted Remus not long ago, asking if they could talk. When Remus finally arrived, Sirius stood, his stomach twisting in knots, but he knew that he had to say this.
“Hey,” Sirius started softly.
“Hey,” Remus replied, his expression neutral as he sat down beside him. The text had created a lot of confusion and a sharp pang of resentment for what he might have to talk about. The invitation should’ve felt like something special, but instead, it carried the bitter weight of being an afterthought. Why now, after everything? But Remus knew this was something he had wanted for a long time and the hope outweighed his original thoughts.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Sirius began. “For everything. For getting with Mary so quickly when I shouldn’t have agreed to something so important, for being so careless with-with everything, and for putting you in a weird position. Mary was looking for a spite-rebound boyfriend after a fight with Lily and I got greedy at the easy validation and made the mistake of going with it.”
Remus tilted his head, studying him. “And?”
“And…” Sirius took a deep breath. “I’m single now. I told Mary that it wasn't a good time and she agreed, saying it didn't really make any sense either, she was looking for the same thing I was. I know I messed up, but I want to be honest with you from now on. I care about you, Remus. Being in the band with you is such a fun and important experience to me and I don't want to lose any of that to something that isn't really anything.”
Remus found himself smiling at the deep confession, knowing how much it takes for Sirius to say things like that. “That’s good, Sirius. I’m glad you’re finally figuring things out."
"Okay..." Sirius' brow furrowed. “I know we've had some of our problems in the past, but I also know we have a lot more history than that. If you're willing to try things again?”
“It's great you figured everything out, but it doesn't change how I feel right now. How I have felt."
"What do you mean?"
Remus thought for a moment. "... I’m not mad at you,” He said, meeting the light eyes beside him. “But I can’t just forget how it felt to be ignored and put second. I need time to figure out what I want, too.”
Sirius' shoulders slumped as little as he let himself, but he nodded. “I understand, I'm just glad that we can go back to how things were.”
Remus stood, a small, sad smile on his lips. “I hope you mean that. But for now, I think we both need space.”
Sirius watched as Remus walked away, the weight of his mistakes settling heavily in his chest. But for the first time, he felt real hope that if he could be patient and prove himself, maybe, just maybe, he’d get another chance.