The TARDIS whirs as it settles down in space, floating in the void. A nebula sits in front of the TARDIS' view. Purples, pinks, and reds all mix together like aged wine being spilled across the stars. In the distance, far off, a star is dying, a supernovae ready to happen. It's beautiful, The Doctor thinks. That's why she wanted to bring Yaz here. Even though she knows it's stupid to fall in love again, after River. After Clara. After Rose. Oh, Rose. Her beautiful Rose.
She wondered how she was doing. Good, she hoped, with the "clone" of the Tenth Doctor. Yaz taped her shoulder, causing her to jump.
"Doctor? You... good? I've been trying to get your attention." Yaz seemed concerned. Had she had her 'I'm reminiscing about something sad again' face on? She wouldn't be surprised. It had been happening more often lately as they explored the Stars. Ever since she met Jack again, so many memories kept flooding back. She missed so much from her past regenerations. She missed Rose and Clara and Amy and Rory and Martha and Donna and River. Her Wife. She wished River could have gotten to meet her newest regeneration. Hell, she wished she had gotten more time to meet River in the last one. And the one before that.
She just wanted more time.
Mortal existence was so futile. She just wished she would never form attachments like she did with them, sometime, but the idea of showing someone the world, the stars, and all of time and space, was so... tempting. Being alone was never easy.
The Doctor blinked and opened her mouth, pulling away from the TARDIS console to respond. "Sorry, Yaz. I'm fine. Just thinking of how great this is going to be."
"Doctor..." Yaz sighed, rubbing her forehead. The Doctor had been doing this much more often, since Ryan and Graham left. It worried her more than she liked to admit. She had tried so hard to get the Doctor to open up, but she never would. "Come on, talk to me. You're clearly not fine." She turns the Doctor's head towards her, lightly cupping her cheek.
The two had been getting a lot closely lately, to say the least. Being alone in the TARDIS did that to people. An infinite space, with only one other person for comfort.
The Doctor sighed, turning around to face Yaz. Her hand pulled Yaz's off of her cheek and she gave it a squeeze before letting go. "Trust me, please. I'm fine."
"I'm not trusting you until you tell me, Doc. You never tell me anything." She sounded stern, crossing her arms. In the Doctor's mind, this was ruining their supposed-to-not-go-wrong trip, because that always happened. Something always tended to go wrong, no matter what.
And suddenly, the TARDIS whirred and flashed, signaling a control lock.
The Doctor ignore what Yaz said and let our a frustrated groan. "Come on! You are a ship, why are you locking up?" She pressed at different buttons and pulled at different letters, unable to get the TARDIS out of the lock. The way it would whirr and groan, it felt like it was trying to mock her. "Oh, don't start with me." The Doctor snorted. She always had a habit of talking to the TARDIS, even moreso after she had met the TARDIS' soul in a human body when she was still Eleven.
"Er—" Yasmina stood behind the Doctor, kind of just allowing her to do her thing. She could operate the TARDIS, yes, but she did tend to leave bigger things (like the system entirely locking them out) to the Time Lord who actually understood the technology a whole of a lot better than she did. "What happened?"
"The ship just... locked. No warning, no outside force that I can detect. She did it on her own." The Doctor sighed, slumping down onto the floor of the TARDIS. It would be fine, the ship would be out of whatever mood it was in soon. Or, maybe not so soon. There was one time it locked up for an entire year on her, before. Was not a fun time to be alone in space.
"So we're essentially just dead in the water?" Yaz raised a brow, sitting down in front of the Doctor on the floor.
"Yep."
The TARDIS whirred again, earning a surprised look from the Doctor, which quickly turned offended. "I am not doing that." She muttered to seemingly nothing, yet it was to the TARDIS. The ship and her had a mental link, one that often led to these seemingly one sided conversations.
"What did she say?" Yaz leaned in, sounding interested by the pitch of her voice— almost conspiritorial.
"Nothing." The Doctor answered quickly, running a hand through her hair. The TARDIS really, really wanted her to just tell Yaz how she felt. But she couldn't, not without Yaz knowing the cost of loving her, and vice-versa. She really... didn't want to do that, though. The TARDIS would give up eventually.
It had been a bit since the controls locked. Maybe a day or two. Definitely a little longer than expected. Usually the TARDIS would give up and unlock them after a few hours, but clearly, she was persistent today. The Doctor and Yaz had ended up moving further into the ship, towards the main rooms. It was somewhat set up like a dorm in one section of the TARDIS. Separate bedrooms with a shared center lounge room and kitchen. The Doctor and Yaz both claimed different bedrooms, neither of which their actual designated rooms on the ship which were much further apart than they wanted right now.
The Doctor believed it was around noon, given the automated lighting of this section. Yaz was on the floor, playing a board game with herself while the doctor paced, trying to figure out a way to override the system. She had been for hours now.
Of course, nothing she tried was working. This ship was stubborn. Maybe she would just give in.
Not yet, though. She still had a few more things to try.
A week.
They had spent a bloody week with the controls locked. It wasn't all that bad, The TARDIS was at least sentient enough (or rather, nice enough) to respond to basic requests like extending the gravity bubble so they could watch the supernova together, like intended.
Other than that, it was boring. They sat around the TARDIS, they talked, they laughed. They managed to watch a movie or two that The Doctor had been meaning to watch for... quite a few centuries now. She never had much time to sit down and watch them, given how she was constantly saving the damned world.
They had also cuddled a few times, too. The TARDIS had made it unbearably cold and instead of getting up to fix the heating (well, she tried to, but the ship had locked THAT too), they ended up cuddling to stay warm. She liked it a little more than she had expected. River and Her barely ever had gotten enough downtime to do that.
River.
Oh, stop thinking about River, you're going to—
"You good, Doc?" Yaz said, inspecting the Doctor's clearly upset face. She always got upset thinking about River.
"I'm fine. Just got some dust in my eyes." It was a valid excuse. She did have dust in her eyes, and she was reading an incredibly old book right now, written in Circular Gallifreyan. That could also be an excuse, the book was sad, or the familiar language was making her reminiscent of her home.
"Some day, I'm going to get the real reason, Doc. Some day." Yaz hummed, and returned to the book she was also reading. Somehow the two had ended up in the library today. Honestly, they two had just been wandering the TARDIS. It was an infinite space, you could probably find anything there.
The Doctor chewed her lip, taking a moment to think. She closed her book, the thick pages slamming shut. "I'll tell you." The timelord sighed, her fingers rubbing over the title lettering on the book.
Yasmin blinked. With how secretive the Doctor was, she didn't actually expect her to want to give her an answer. Maybe the Doctor felt like she deserved an answer. And Yasmin wouldn't complain. She cared deeply for the Doctor, one might even go as far to say she loved her, and she wanted to know what was on her mind. "Alright. I'm listening."
The Doctor took in a deep breath. Where to start? "I look at you, Yasmin Khan, and I see many of the people I loved. My wife, for one. You'll probably never meet her, she died, a long time ago. I miss her deeply, though. I can't help but wish our time streams may cross again. She's a timetraveler, like me. A pseudo Timelord, as she was conceived in this very TARDIS, by two old friends of mine." The Doctor's face dropped as she reminisced about Amy and Rory. She would never be able to save them. "I couldn't save her, I couldn't save her parents. And before her, There was Rose. My sweet Rose. Jack mentioned her, remember? She got trapped in a parallel universe, with a ... somewhat cloned version of me. Not this me, but the form I was three cycles ago. He was half human, well... mostly human. He went to live with Rose."
The Doctor paused, feeling tears building up in her ducts. She couldn't remember the last time she cried, let alone shared something like this. But Yaz deserved to know. She rubbed away the tears, examining the concerned look on Yasmin's face. She looked like she had so many questions. Had she not expected her to be married—? Honestly, probably.
"And there was Clara, too. Oh, I never knew what I was giving up when I forced myself not to feel for her. I didn't even know I loved her until she was gone. I would have destroyed the universe for her. For her, for River, for Rose—" The Doctor paused, debating whether she should... say it. "— For you, too, Yasmin Khan." A smile formed on her face as she said it, moving closer to the human. She reached out to take her hand, placing a kiss on her knuckle.
Yasmin was frozen. Such an information dump, so personal. She reminded the Doctor of people she had LOVED and now... was the Doctor confessing? She held tight onto the Doctor's hand, her free hand tangling into her bobbed hair. "I love you, Doctor." She murmured, and the Doctor leaned in for a kiss. She reciprocated, pressing back against the Doctor's lips with passion.
"I love you, Yasmin." The Doctor mumbled against Yaz's lips, pulling away and staring into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. She could get lost in them, so easily.
The TARDIS whirred and hummed. It seemed approving, it seemed happy. Happy her thief had finally listened to her. There was a buzzing sound, indicating the console and controls had been unlocked.
"Someone approves." Yasmin chuckled, staring back into the Doctor's eyes. She smiled like she was high on love, unable to avert her gaze as they kissed again. And again. And again, before they finally pulled away.
"Should we finally get back on track, Yaz?" The Doctor asked, rubbing her hand. They had moved back to the main control room, hand in hand, ready for their next adventure. Together. Partners.
"Not yet. I want to stay here, just a little longer."