Chapter 11
Williams dropped her head into her hands, elbows on her knees as she griped her hair.
What the bloody fucking hell.
She had gotten her stitches out, had gotten her kiss, and now the girl was gone, disappeared back to wherever she had come from, just as Williams had wanted. It took a moment for her to realize that the emotion she was currently experiencing alongside her racing heartbeat was bitter disappointment.
It wasn't one she was accustomed to, and Williams realized quite quickly that she in fact hated it. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, and it seemed to be one that was entirely unnecessary. Perhaps Williams might have been able to say that the disappointment was due to the fact that she hadn't even had time to fuck the girl, but she knew better. She had only lived so long by never lying to herself.
Of course, she would have liked to, would have been interested in seeing the girls take on sex, if she would have directed Williams again, or let her take the lead. Williams surprised herself with the realization that she would have been fine with either. And that was more telling than anything else that she had vastly overestimated the girls’ influence over her.
But those hands on her face, a place she had only ever been hit, never…caressed. Williams wanted to laugh at the sentiment, the soft weakness of it, but the memory of the feeling killed the urge before it even began.
The high point of the cheek, the ideal place to land a punch if you wanted to rock someone's head off their shoulders.
But tonight? It had become a place for glitter, for the soft pad of a finger.
I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.
She had kissed her. Which was all well and good, except it hadn't worked. It hadn't fucking worked. She still wanted her.
Williams had always had the single minded determination to do whatever it was she promised herself. Whether that meant pushing through pain to finish a job, or forgetting about a certain nervous girl, Williams never expected her mind to betray her. But betray her it had, because instead of turning to Elanor and breaking down their plans for their newest job tomorrow, Williams found herself dashing out the door, hoping to catch up to the girl.
To do what? She didn't know.
Williams just knew she needed to see her again.
She stood in the street, looking both ways and hoping the girl would somehow materialize. It wasn't until Elanor’s head popped out from one of the windows above that Williams was forced to accept that she was gone. She tried to tell herself that it was for the best, but the bitter feeling didn't leave her.
“Oi! The hell you running out in the street for? And was that the girl from the club?” Came Elanor’s voice. Kai-Ming’s drunken laugh sounded beyond the window, followed by a loud crash. Elanor’s head quickly disappeared.
Williams sighed.
She didn't know. Didn't know what she was out here for, didn't know why she cared so much, didn't know what she was going to do about it.
She had gotten her kiss, but at what cost?
• ───────────────── •
Elanor quietly closed the door behind her, Williams catching a peek of an unconscious Kai-Ming sprawled on their bed. She motioned Williams towards the living room, the look in her eyes letting her partner know she was in for some questioning.
“She was different.” Elanor stated flatly, joining her on the couch.
Williams took her time responding.
“She’s gone. She won't be a problem.”
Elanor pursed her lips, waiting to see if her partner would willingly divulge anything else. She didn't.
“But she was different.” Elanor repeated.
Williams sighed heavily, her head falling backwards against the cushions. “She was different.” She agreed. “I fucked up. I didn't expect her to be, but she was. Let’s not speak any more on it, yeah? Lenny’s job is due next week. What’s our plan?”
Elanor fixed her with a knowing look, but allowed her to change the topic as they planned out the logistics of their newest job.
It wasn't until much later, when Williams was ready to fall into bed, that she caught sight of her face in the bathroom mirror. The glitter on her face was still there, but with distinct streaks, as if someone had run their fingers over it several times. Williams touched a hand to her cheek, then quickly flicked off the light, plunging the bathroom into darkness. She washed her face and brushed her teeth through feel alone, unwilling to risk glancing at her reflection again, before stumbling to her bed and collapsing onto the sheets with a groan.
You should go.
Her last words to the girl replayed in her mind, alongside the image of her hurt expression before she ran out the door.
Why the fuck did I say that?
Williams had had many girls over, regardless if her roommates were in or not. It had hardly mattered before. Williams couldn't figure out what it mattered now.
But it did.
And for that, she knew she would have to find her again.