Chapter 6
Williams tried to ignore the tight, stretched feeling the glitter had left on her cheek as she grimaced. Unused to the feeling of products on her face, she absentmindedly swiped at her cheek with the back of her hand before realizing what she had done. A glance down revealed that the glitter hadn’t budged, and Williams couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.
Kai-Ming had insisted on it, and Williams had been too focused on knocking back shots to really argue with her, allowing her newest roommate to dust her eyelids and cheekbones with the shimmering powder. A forced look in the mirror after and Williams had shrugged, more interested in heading out the door and getting on with the rest of the night. She supposed it looked a bit festive, it still being the holidays and all, but she had never really been one for makeup.
The experience itself though? The soft tickling of the brush against her skin had the rather unfortunate effect of reminding her of the girls gentle fingers on her stomach and–
Williams downed another shot before she could be plagued with the same looping memory she had initially been trying to escape from. The spar hadn't been enough, she could only hope for the peace offered by alcohol. So, they'd gotten well and proper drunk before leaving the apartment. It was the one thing she’d insisted on, wanting to ease the sting of both her troublesome thoughts and her newest bruises, courtesy of Elanor.
Now, the deep bass and flashing lights of the club further helped to mute her thoughts into something more appropriately blurred and sluggish. It was both a novelty and slightly concerning, the way everything around her seemed to slow and soften. Williams had only made it as far as she had by being vigilant and always ready to act, finger on the trigger, so to speak. In her case, that happened quite literally more often than not. Only the knowledge that Eleanor was behind her, decidedly less drunk and also armed, was enough to let Williams give in to the welcoming haze the alcohol provided. She could allow herself this momentary lapse in vigilance, just this once.
Usually, Williams didn't like crowds, unless she was trying to lose someone in one. Otherwise there were just too many potential uncertainties in a crowd, exit routes clogged up with bodies, endless possibilities for failure. She couldn't help the way she automatically scanned the body language of all those around her on the dance floor, on the lookout for potential threats. But as the night wore on, even if she couldn't turn her instincts off completely, they managed to dull a bit.
It felt blissful. No thoughts, just the pounding of music and the choppy sway of bodies around her.
She saw a sparkling mirage in front of her, which barely solidified into a familiar face, Kai-Ming was dancing her way towards Williams, two shot glasses in hand. Williams was impressed with the way her new roommate managed to not spill a single drop, despite being jostled by the crowd around her.
Professional party barbie , she thought.
Before Kai-Ming could reach her however, a faceless man materialized behind her, slipping an arm around her shoulders.
Oh, he had a face, surely, it was just that Williams didn't bother to look at it as soon as her mind registered ‘man’. She was more focused on the violent intent she could feel from across the room, knew that it was Elanor, and knew what it would mean if she allowed it to build.
Williams sighed and made her way towards them, giving the guy's shoulder a slight push to make him step back.
“Best not try with that one.” She jerked her head to the side, indicating for him to look elsewhere. “Believe me.”
His face screwed up in anger as he sneered at her. “I’ve every fucking right to chat to whoever I want.” He tightened his arm around Kai-Ming who looked at him unimpressed. “And I want this one. So fuck off.”
Williams sighed again, already over the whole affair, but signaled to Elanor that she would handle it. She didn't have the patience to deal with drunk, ego-deficit men on a good day, but knew that if she didn't now, they'd have to leave the club due to Elanor most likely shooting him from her seat.
It wasn't an outcome she was against, unaffected by the potential murder of a stranger, but she wanted to stay a while longer, and while ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ was both a fun song and situation to her , Williams thought that the crowd around her would agree with only one of those. She rolled her eyes, gesturing for Kai-Ming to pass her the shot, which she downed easily. The liquor hardly even burned at this point.
The man stared at her incredulously, as if baffled that she hadn't, as he so elegantly put it, fucked off already. She reached out to grab his shirt, pulling him forward so she could shout in his ear. He released Kai-Ming, only to try and shove Williams back, which she deflected easily. She was thoroughly drunk, but that didn't mean her body forgot the most basic training sequences, especially when the opposition wasnt from a fellow mercenary, but some entitled drunk boy. He didn't like that one bit, and, she mused thoughtfully, it probably didn't help that she was taller than him. She resisted the mild urge to shoulder check him, just for the hell of it.
Williams knew his kind, had fought and killed enough boys wanting to play at being men–and her fair share of men who wanted to play at being killers, but that was besides the point–that she knew how quickly he would want to escalate things, and how poorly it would go for him if he did.
Williams decided to beat him to the task.
“Find another one.” She said in his ear, letting the barrel of her gun poke against his stomach. His eyes widened as he looked down, the weapon concealed to the people around them but visible enough for him to know what it was. She let him look up at her, to see in her face that she really would use it.
He glared between her and Kai-Ming for a moment. “Crazy bitch...” He said at last, backing away, “She ain't even all that anyways.” He spat. Williams thought about cuffing him over the head for it, but Kai-Ming seemed unbothered, downing her shot, unfazed and uncaring as she went back to dancing, and Elanor wouldn't have been able to hear what he had said, so she left it at that. Let him feel like he had salvaged a shred of his pride.
“Good man.” Williams smiled after him, tucking the gun away and turning to give Eleanor a little finger salute.
She saw her partner relax marginally before turning her gaze back to Kai-Ming.
Williams liked her well enough, but had never quite seen what her partner saw in the girl until then. Thoroughly intoxicated and bathed in the colorful light of the club, Kai-Ming seemed to come alive, her face flushed and her eyes bright, her drunkenness lending her a beauty Williams had never before noticed.
Junkie barbie , Elanor had called her. And right now, she looked it. The party girl, back in her natural habitat. She supposed she could see, then, what Elanor did, for a moment at least.
Williams looked back over at her partner, seated at a table, eyes glued to Kai-Ming.
Williams worried about her. Elanor had a weakness for connection, something she herself had openly admitted when Williams had come knocking at her door, covered in blood and looking for a chance. Williams suddenly had the uncomfortable epiphany that she only seemed to meet people who could change her life when she was bloodied and desperate. It wasn't a comforting thought. Neither was the fact that Elanor had become increasingly attached to Kai-Ming recently. She trusted her partner, she just hoped Eleanor wouldn't let her new infatuation cloud her judgement. Williams needed her partner sharp, so that she could afford to dull herself, and so that they could keep each other alive. No one else was going to do it.
Williams was aware of the double standard, that here she was, drunk in a crowd of strangers just in an effort to take her mind off a girl she’d met once. She couldnt begrudge her partner the allure of a pretty face.
But Williams had always been proactive. She didn't like not being able to control things, especially when it came to herself. She promised herself that after tonight, she’d never let that girl occupy her thoughts again. It was a promise she knew she could keep, she’d sealed away harder things through sheer force of will before. This would be no different.
When Kai ming twirled away, Williams shut her eyes. Here, alone in a crowd, she was able to admit to herself that maybe it wasn't so much the girl herself (although yes, Williams had certainly felt attracted to her), as the way she had interacted with Williams. She had never known anyone to touch her so gently, speak to her so kindly. And the worst part? She thought that the girl might have even been trying to purposely hurt her while tending to her wound, as payback for when Williams had gotten her flustered and embarrassed. And even then, it had been softer than she would have been with herself.
And when the girl had begun to panic? The way she’d looked up at Williams, as if she could be the one to help her, as if she was someone who could also be capable of kindness or gentleness?
That was what she hadn't been able to get out of her head. No one had ever looked at her like that before. She wasn't entirely sure if she even liked it. Williams just knew that it had been so sudden, so different, it had stuck in her mind like a splinter under skin. She was too drunk to feel embarrassed as she admitted to herself she wanted it again, regardless.
Later, when she dealt with the drudgery of a hangover, she could regret it, but right now, Williams thought she might take home the first girl that caught her eye, just to see if she could feel that again. She wasn't even really sure how. Williams knew she could fuck, knew she was good, but didn't know if she could go slow, be tender, with a stranger. With anyone, really.
As if the girl hadn't been a stranger herself, Williams scoffed to herself. It was ridiculous, and yet…
Williams opened her eyes, eyes roving over the crowd around her. Kai-Ming, eyes bright, spun towards her and held out her palm to Williams. In it, a nondescript white pill rested. She already had a matching one on her tongue which she waggled at Williams. She smiled and swallowed it, raising her brow as she held out the other pill. Williams reached out her hand, welcoming a stronger escape, then paused.
If anything were to happen, she knew that even drunk, she could probably still fight her way out of a tough spot, especially if she had her partner watching her back. But high? And crossed? Williams hesitated, glancing over her shoulder at Elanor.
‘Go ahead.’ She seemed to say, raising a glass in Williams direction. ‘I've got your back.’
Williams, shrugged, grateful, and turned back to Kai-Ming– and then promptly froze.
There was no way she was that drunk.
And yet.
There she stood, the source of all her turmoil these past few weeks, standing in the crowd, dancing.
Her.
Williams thought her mind had to be playing tricks on her, because the likelihood of seeing her here , of all places… They weren't even remotely close to the area where the shop had been.
The last time Williams had seen her, the girl had been pale and bloody, in a rumpled work uniform with bags under her eyes. Now, she looked carefree, glimpses of her body appearing and disappearing in the flashing lights of the club.
She still looked fucking beautiful.
Williams didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the frenzied distraction she'd felt all week, but despite her earlier vow, she suddenly felt overcome with the need to speak with the girl. It was a desire that seemed to override her thoughts, her better judgment too, and before she knew it, Williams was slipping through the crowd towards her. It was natural, the way she slid her hand along other girl’s waists as she passed them, but the coy glances some of them looked up at her with didn't have the usual effect on her. She barely even noticed them.
She did notice the man from earlier in her way, however, and took the opportunity to shoulder check him, jostling him to the side and out of her way. But then he was gone too, and the crowd became a blur of color and light and Williams was almost worried she had lost her. But then her fingers slid along another waist, and a face turned towards her– that face, the one that had been plaguing her memories and her mind.
Williams hadn't really thought through what she would say once she reached her, what she would do , but as the girl looked up at her in shock, Williams smiled, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Shouldn't you be studying?”