Shattering Timelines

Harry felt like banging his head against his desk. Or a wall. Or even a running chainsaw. That would end his suffering, right? Surely, he wouldn’t have to deal with everything going on  in his life if he was dead or had a concussion.

Harry gave into temptation and let his head thump down on his desk, ignoring how the sound caused everyone in the classroom to look at him strangely. He didn’t care. They were already talking about him. Why not give them something else to talk about?

A few weeks had passed since Harry’s and Theodosia’s healing session and already, he was extremely worried about her. He had been looking out for her, ( not stalking) and he was becoming more and more worried about her each day. He knew she had been scared when she had first been threatened, but every time he had seen her since then, she had looked pale and almost sickly. Her eyes would flicker around the room, searching either for enemies or exits. Harry was beginning to think she had been threatened again for her to be this paranoid. It didn’t help that she seemed to be avoiding him. Whenever she saw him she would try to sneak off without him noticing or if he had already seen her, she would give a hesitant wave or smile before disappearing for hours to someplace he couldn’t find.

Harry’s worries about Theo weren’t the only thing troubling him, though. Things had gotten...awkward since the day his parents confronted him (He was calling that day Armageddon in his head. After all, it had basically screwed up everything, and Harry had a sinking feeling that everything was going to fall apart, in the end, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he could turn this around.). His mum had been giving him the cold shoulder since their conversation. The only time she spoke to him was when he directed a question at her, and then the answer was usually only one word. It was affecting his friendship with the rest of the group. None of the girls knew what exactly had gone down between Harry and Lily, but they had decided to take the side of their oldest friend rather than the strange newcomer. They thought if Lily was mad at him, she must have a good reason to be. The group had followed Lily’s lead and were doing their best to ignore him until he had Lily’s forgiveness. Gwen was the only one who even remotely acknowledged him willing, but that was only to give him a sad smile and a nod in Lily’s direction. That didn’t help him at all.

Harry’s relationship with the Marauders had also become weirder than normal as well. He knew they had hated him for intruding into their group during their last year, but now they were just acting strangely. Harry could understand the sneers and insults thrown at him, but he wasn’t sure how to handle silent, moody Marauders. He wasn’t sure if it had anything to do with the spells he had put on them. They shouldn’t have. The spells were only supposed to affect their memories, not their emotions. Every time he entered the same room as them, they would get eerily silent and glare at him like their lives depended on it, but other than that, they did nothing. They didn’t insult him anymore. In fact, they didn’t even talk to him at all. The Marauders had taken a leaf out of Theodosia’s book and had started doing everything in their power to avoid him. He was really feeling the love these days.

It was times like these that Harry really missed his parents and Marauders. He missed the parents who were willing to give their lives for him. Over the years, he had built up an image of them in his mind. Harry had known his parents wouldn’t fit exactly into the mold he had created for them, he had known ever since he had seen Snape’s memories of his father bullying him, but Harry had hoped things would be different for him . He wanted to spend nights talking with his mum and creating pranks with his dad. He should have known that’s not how it would work out for him. Now both his parents were giving him the cold shoulder and the only other two people he considered family seemed to hate him. After all, nothing ever works out right for Harry freaking Potter.

What hurt the most was the fact that Sirius and Remus were going along with the whole thing. Yes, he had expected it; Sirius and Remus would follow his father to the ends of the earth if they had to, but it still hurt. It was completely irrational. They didn’t even know him. They didn’t have the memories that he did. Merlin, Harry had adored them. They were the only people who hadn’t turned on him. They were part of the family he built for himself, the family that Voldemort had burnt to the ground. Harry had come all this way to save his family, but he had forgotten that the people he was trying to save weren’t his family yet. It was slowly killing him, being so close to the people he loved the most, but not having them care for him at all.

“Is my lesson boring you, Mr. Emrys-Slytherin?”

Harry jerked and almost fell out of his seat, causing the class to burst into quiet giggles before they were silenced by McGonagall’s glare. “Would you like to explain why you were sleeping in my class, Emrys-Slytherin?”

Harry winced. He knew that tone. That tone always led to a scolding or a detention. “Sorry, Professor,” Harry said, “But I wasn’t sleeping; I swear. I just have a really bad headache.”

McGonagall cocked an eyebrow at him. “You shouldn’t let such maladies interfere with your work, Mr. Emrys-Slytherin. Get back to work.”

Harry nodded resolutely before she turned and headed to the front of the class again.   

That...had turned out better than expected. He thought she would at least scold him or give him a detention. She hadn’t been afraid to do that in his time. Harry shrugged before going back to practising the spell they were supposed to learn for exams, ignoring the fact that he had learned it years ago.

  The bell rang and everyone began to pack up. “Stay behind, Mr. Emrys-Slytherin,” McGonagall called over the students’ chattering. Harry winced again. He should have known it was too good to be true. Harry trudged to the front of the classroom, ignoring how the other students snickered behind his back.

McGonagall waited silently until all the students were gone before speaking. “I’ve noticed some odd things about you. Would you like to explain what exactly is going on?”

Harry froze. Surely she didn’t know he wasn’t who he was claiming to be. “What are you talking about, Professor?”

“I’m beginning to worry about you, Hadrian,” McGonagall began, “You don’t seem to be… settling into Hogwarts even though you have been here a little over a month.”

“I’m settling in! I’m settling in plenty! This is me―settled in,” Harry said awkwardly.

McGonagall shook her head. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you don’t seem to be making any friends. You’re not in any extracurriculars nor are you interacting with students in any other house. The other professors and I are beginning to worry that you’re using your schoolwork as a way to avoid interacting with others.”

“What? I have friends! I’m friends with Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Gwen,” Harry stated.

McGonagall cocked an eyebrow at him. “Really?  Because they don’t seem all that accepting of you recently. In fact, I seem to recall a certain event where Ms. Evans threatened to throw her shoe at you before stalking out of the room.”

Harry winced. He remembered that. It had only been a few hours after Lily had confronted him about his lying. Harry had tried to convince his mother at dinner that he hadn’t been lying to her. Lily hadn’t taken it so well. Let’s just say, it was a good thing McGonagall had only heard the threat about the shoe.

“We got into a little disagreement. We haven’t exactly worked it out yet.”

“I see,” Harry could see the doubt in her eyes, “Either way, I would still like it if you would make friends in other houses. May I suggest a study group? It’s the perfect way to make new acquaintances as well as maintain your grades.”

“Sure,” Harry said, knowing very well that he wouldn’t.

A certain gleam entered her eyes. Harry doubted she actually believed him. He motioned to the door. “I probably should go…”

McGonagall nodded, but she stopped him as he was making his way towards the door. “Promise me one thing.”

“That depends on what it is.”

“Try out for the quidditch team.”

Harry couldn’t stop the small laugh from escaping his lips. “Try out for the quidditch team? That’s an odd request.”

McGonagall glared at him. “The seeker for the Gryffindor team graduated last year. You have the right build and your reflexes are impeccable,” McGonagall gave him a small grin. “Plus I can’t bear the thought of losing the trophy to Slughorn. He was so smug last year even though he won on a technicality. That was the first time in five years that we’ve lost the trophy. I don’t want a repeat.”

Harry chuckled. At least Professor McGonagall never changed. She’d always had a competitive streak a mile wide. “I’ll try out for the quidditch team. But that doesn’t mean I’ll make the team. After all, James pretty much hates my guts, and he’s the captain.”

“He wouldn’t put his pride over the team,” Her eyes narrowed. “And if he does, then we obviously need to have a word about what it means to be a good team captain.”

Harry grinned. She had a point, and it would be nice to get up in the air again. He nodded slightly. It was decided. He would try out for the team even though he doubted the Marauders would ever let him join.

“I suppose you’re right.” Harry glanced at his watch. “Sorry, professor, but I have to go. I have a potions essay due tomorrow that I’m not even close to finishing. I can’t afford to turn it in late; Slughorn hates me already.”

McGonagall hummed. “I doubt he hates you, Mr. Emrys-Slytherin, but I’m sure his current dislike of you is because you skipped the first class you had with him.”

Harry winced. “You heard about that?”

“Of course. I always know what kind of trouble my lions get into. Now, I believe you have a potions essay to write?”

Harry knew a dismissal when he heard one. With a small wave, he was out the door and heading towards the library.

  He grinned to himself as he wandered down the halls. At least some things never changed. McGonagall had always been one of his favorite teachers (The only teachers he above her Remus and fake-Moody, but she had always been the most reliable and consistent teacher.). Harry held so much respect for the former (soon to be?) headmistress. She had been the strength the castle needed during Voldemort’s reign. She trusted the students and told them what was actually going on instead of playing God like Dumbledore. She had done the best she could to protect the students of Hogwarts in the worst of circumstances. Her incredible strength came into play during the Final Battle. McGonagall had done everything she could to protect her students only to watch the children she had fought so hard to protect die on the battlefield. Instead of destroying her, it only pushed her to fight harder. She only cried once during the entire battle. Harry had seen a single tear fall when Voldemort had drug Harry’s supposedly dead body to Hogwarts and announced that the Boy-Who-Lived was dead.

Harry shook his head. It was never good to dwell on old memories. They always led to more painful ones.

He quickly ducked into the library before he could start remembering anything...unsavory. Thankfully, it was mostly empty with only a few first in second years in it. He truly did have a potions essay to finish. It was on Amortentia of all things. He was expected to write five feet all on the magical version of a roofie.

Grumbling, Harry began to yank down all the books he could find on the love potion. He needed this essay to be perfect in order to get back on Slughorn's good side. The Head of Slytherin was a very good person to have as an ally, no matter how annoying his parties were.

Harry spread out his books on the table and began to work. The hours ticked by, and people trickled in and out of the  library. Harry didn't notice, though. All he was focused on were the words on the papers and the quiet scratching of his quill.

A loud thud interrupted his work. Harry glanced around in shock. When had it gotten so dark? He looked at his watch and winced. It was nine thirty, thirty minutes until curfew. Library was empty; Madame Pince was even gone.

Suddenly, he heard furious whispers behind one of the bookshelves. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he had thought.

Harry carefully stood up and slipped closer to the whispered conversation, his curiosity getting the best of him. He peered between the books and blinked in shock. It was Sirius and Regulus hiding between the bookshelves having a whispered argument from the sounds of it.

“Sirius, please-”

The Gryffindor snarled. “No, Regulus! I’m not going back to that hell hole! I don’t care how much Father bribed you to try to convince me to come back, but I’m not going back!”

“You are the Heir Black! If you don’t come back, Mum will disown you!”

“I don’t care!” Sirius growled, throwing up his hands. “I don’t want to be a part of a family that believes in all that pureblood superiority bullshit!”

“I don’t care if you believe in it or not! You don't have to! We just want you to come home!”

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, right. Like Mum will even let me in the house since I've been ‘tainted’ by the Light side.” He glances down at his younger brother. “How ‘bout you? She already planning your initiation to the Corpse Chompers?”

Regulus huffed, realizing he wasn't going to be able to convince his brother. “Why should you care? After all, you evidently want nothing to do with our family.”

Sirius’ face hardened. “Well, excuse me for actually caring for somebody in my family. I won't do it again.”

“Screw you, Sirius! We all know you don't actually care for anyone other than you and your idiotic friends!”

Sirius looked affronted. “I do too!”

“Oh, come on!” Regulus snarled, “Why else would you drop me like a lead balloon when the hat put me in Slytherin?”

Sirius silently mouthed the words ‘drop me like a lead balloon’ to himself in confusion before replying. “I didn't stop hanging out with you because you were placed in Slytherin! I stopped hanging out with you because the only reason you were sorted into Slytherin was because that was what Mummy and Daddy wanted! You have been following their orders since day one! That's why I stopped hanging out with you.”

“Well, not all of us can be the black sheep of the family. Some of us actually have to deal with the fucking consequences.” Harry could see his mask cracking, although he doubted Sirius did.

“What consequences?” The Gryffindor snarled, “You're the goody little two-shoes of the family. You never did anything that would create consequences whereas I actually tried to stand up to them! Do you know what the consequences were for sticking up for my friends? A three minute Crucio delivered from my oh so loving mother!”

“I know she was hard on you, but you should have known better! You know how she gets!”

“I shouldn’t have to know! I shouldn’t have to worry about being Crucioed for hanging out with my friends!”

Regulus scoffed. “She has her reasons, you know! You have gotten worse and worse ever since you became friends with them! Do you realize what you are doing? You are dragging the Black name through the mud by bullying or should I say ‘pranking’ pureblood heirs! Do you know how many lawsuits Dad has had to deal with in the past two years?”

“Those arses deserved everything we throw at them! They were attacking Remus!”

“Well, try telling that to Mum. She thinks you’re just attacking students at random.”

“We don’t attack people,” Sirius said quietly, “We prank them. And it’s only people who deserve it! Karma of sorts, if you will.”

“Oh, yeah?” Regulus said incredulously, “What about what you did to Severus last year? I don’t know what happened, but I know it sure as hell wasn’t a prank.”

Sirius flinched. “That was a mistake . A mistake that I took full responsibility for.”

“Yeah because it was your fault!”

Sirius throw his hands in the air “Fuck you, Regulus! I actually tried to fix that! Hell, I even apologized to Snape! This is why I hate being around our family! You guys don’t let shite lie. I try to apologize; I try to fix my mistakes, but noooo ! You have to dangle it over my head no matter how much good I do!”

“They just want you to learn from your mistakes!” Regulus cried out.

Sirius’ face hardened. “Well, I have. I’m never going to make the mistake of returning to that house ever again. I am not going to let them control me. Tell the family to kiss my arse.”

With those final words, Sirius turned on his heels and stalked out of the empty library. Regulus waited until he was sure his brother was gone before letting out a shriek as he grabbed a book from the shelf and flung it across the room. He was breathing hard and looked like he was about to cry.

“Dammit, Siri,” He mumbled as he pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears from welling up. “Why can’t you just come home! You’re not the only one dealing with fucking consequences. I need you there!”

Harry carefully backed away from his vantage point. Regulus needed his space, and both brothers would kill him if Regulus caught him. Too much private information had been split for them to actually let him live. They would make his life hell.

He began to silently pack up, putting his papers in his bag and the books away. As he was putting the last book away, it scraped slightly on the shelf, causing him to freeze.

“Who's there?!” Regulus called out.

Harry quickly cast a disillusion charm over him and his bag.

“I know you’re there! Come out before I hex you!”

When Harry didn’t answer Regulus began searching the aisles of the library. Harry smirked when an idea came to his mind. Carefully, he pulled out a quill and silently transfigured it into a mouse before setting it on the floor. The poor beast ran away from Harry emitting shrill squeaks as it tried to find a means of escape. He heard Regulus jump before cursing.

“Filthy beast! Ruining the books, I swear…” The Slytherin grumbled as he stopped his search, thinking the sound had been created by the mouse. The boy quickly slammed his books into his bag before stalking out of the library much like his brother.

Harry let out a sigh of relief when he left. He didn’t want to know what would happen if Regulus had caught him. After everything, the two boys had said...it would not be pretty if they ever found out he had been eavesdropping.

Harry worried his lip between his teeth, thinking back to the conversation. He could understand both sides, really. Sirius didn’t want to go back to his bitch of a mother, and Regulus, Regulus just wanted his brother back. It was a very bad situation.

He ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t realized things had been so bad for Sirius. He had never mentioned to Harry that his relationship with his parents had been so horrible that visiting a friend warranted a Crucio. He couldn’t help but be worried for both Regulus and Sirius. What if Walburga transferred her fury about Siri’s actions to Regulus since she had nobody else to take it out on?

Harry shook his head. Surely, not. Her portrait had wanted him to come back so he could save her family, surely she hadn’t abused her children, not if she cared so much about them.He ran a hand through his hair. He needed to think about this some more. But it was obvious that there was a lot more to his godfather and his relationship with his family than Harry knew.