Wide Awake
The first thing Lexa hears when she wakes up is this loud beeping noise. She doesn’t know where she is or even what day it is. She notices Clarke sleeping beside her, holding her hand. And she doesn’t really understand how she’s even alive. The last thing she remembers is Titus betraying her. Even so she is forever grateful to the gods for letting her live another day. Not for herself but for Clarke.
“Lexa, you’re awake!” she hears Clarke gasp beside her.
“Clarke, how am I alive, I thought I had died.”
“ Oh Lexa, you have no idea how glad I am to hear your voice, to see you looking at me.”
“Clarke, how long have I been here?”
“Just for over a week. You were in a coma for quite awhile. My mom didn’t think you would wake up on your own.”
“Oh no, if I'm here, do my people think I’m dead? Where are the natblida? Are they okay? Has the conclave already started?” I need to get up, I-I need to get back to Polis.
“No, Lexa you have to stop moving before you hurt yourself. You’re okay, the night bloods are okay. They took Titus to be held in the dungeons after what he did and Gaia took over with the children.”
At that news I sigh in relief. I sag back down into the cot I’m in. Knowing that the nightbloods are ok brings me immense relief. They are like my children. I hope to hold off the conclave for as long as I can.
“ Lexa, believe me I’m going to make sure Titus feels every single ounce of pain that he’s caused us. The only reason he’s not dead right now is because Gaia told me I couldn’t kill him because he’s a flamekeeper. But his time on earth is very limited.”
“Hello Lexa, it’s a very good thing that you’re awake. I’m just going to check your vitals and then later on we will get you your own room here in Arkadia.” Abby says as she walks into the room.
“Um, mom, that won’t be necessary. Lexa’s going to stay with me.” Clarke smiles politely.
“Ok well everything looks good here. I’ll be back in a little while to check again.”
Clarke looks at me with so much reverence and my eyes well with all of the bottled up emotions I’ve kept in since I was a child. I feel Like my chest is going to explode if I acknowledge the reason I’m here. The person I trusted, Looked up to even. He did this. The man I looked at as a father figure betrayed me.
I sob like I never have before. I can’t seem to hold the tears in. It’s like they have a mind of their own. And Clarke, oh Clarke she doesn’t look at me with pity or bitterness at my lack of stoicism. She just sits with me. She doesn’t try to stop my tears, tell me I’m weak like every person in my life before her.
That’s why I love her. The words I couldn’t get out. The words I wanted to tell her. The words stuck in the back of my throat like sickeningly sweet malaise. for fear that if I did utter those three little words my entire world would fall apart.
She looks at me as if all of my sins have been forgiven. As if I’m not broken beyond repair. She knows first hand all of the horrible things I’ve done for my people. She knows what kind of person I had to become to protect my people and she looks at me as if I could do no wrong. The tears keep coming until I eventually cry myself to sleep all the while Clarke doesn’t say a word she doesn’t need to, I see it in her eyes. Every word that won’t seem to come out. Shows brightly in her eyes.
……………………………………………….
The next time I wake up I’m in a different room.
“You know, for a commander you’re really light.” Clarke chuckles.
I try to turn around to bury my bright red face into my pillow. Which feels really weird. Everything about the skaikru is weird so I really shouldn’t be surprised.
“Look at me Lexa.” Clarke tilts my chin up to look at her.
“I am so so grateful that you’re here, with me. I love you.” She emphasizes every word with a kiss.
“Ai hod yu in Seintaim, Clarke.”
“I know how hard that was to say for you Lexa.” Clarke smiles softly at me.
Then Clarke pulls me into her arms and hugs me.
“Ow.” I hissed in pain. I’m just now feeling the burning pain in my abdomen.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry Lexa I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Clarke apologizes.
I guess I had been running on only pain medication and adrenaline. So the pain is back in full force.
“I’ll get my mom to give you something for the pain Lexa.”
……………………………………………..
“Wait, the commander is here in Arkadia.” Lincoln asks in an urgent whisper.
“Yes Lincoln. Me and raven are going to see her if you want to come too.” Octavia says, her voice small.
“My sister… What could have possibly happened for her to be here.” Lincoln thinks.
“Ok I’ll come with you.” Lincoln smiles lovingly.
………………………………………………….
“Le-commander, how did this happen? Are you okay?” Lincoln’s face scrunches up in confusion.
“Heya big brotherrr, Titus has betrayed me. He tried to kill Clarke and instead injured me. With a skaikru weapon no less. He is a traitor.”
“Hold up, did you just say brother?” Raven asks.
“Uhhhh whoops. Heh” Lexa slurs.
“Yeah, my mom came in a little while ago and upped her dose so Lexa's a little high on pain meds right now.” Clarke says as she scans the room.
Lexa looks at Clarke squinting her eyes.
“Clarke, why are you not— surprised by this new information?”
Oh I already figured that out. When we escaped from Ton DC and I went to kill the sniper. You two were standing side by side and the resemblance was uncanny. So I kinda just figured.
The room goes silent for a little while until Lexa speaks up again
“Um Clarke, when will I be able to go outside? I've been in this metal box for soooo long. I am as you sky people say bored out of my brain.”
“I think you mean out of your mind.” Raven raises an eyebrow.
“No, I mean out of my brain.” Lexa says blankly.
“This is great.” Octavia laughs.
“Can we get back on topic. No Lexa, you are recovering from a gunshot wound. My mom would never in good conscience let you leave the building. You’re lucky she even let you leave the med bay.” Clarke says
Lexa sinks further into the cot she’s currently laying on.
“Not fair.” Lexa pouts
“Is she pouting, woah this is a once in a lifetime experience we will never see again.” Raven grins.
Lincoln shakes his head and chuckles. It’s like he’s looking at the same Lexa from before the conclave.