Chapter 13
Hey Chris,
How are you? Hopefully you're doing great! I'm actually sending you this letter from Florida! Yeah, the Florida in America. Though I don't think there's any other Floridas. Anyways, there's a bunch beaches and alligators here. Though I haven't seen an alligator yet, I'm keeping my eye out just in case. Apparently they can eat small children. No small children will be eaten on my watch. Wait, am I considered a small child? No, I can't be, i'm 11. I'm already in the double digits. I'll ask my mom just in case and I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Actually, I don't think you can really go anywhere since I'm writing this now and I'll be back before you even get this letter. sOO just say 'Phil is awesome' and I'll be back. Haha, I'm back. Did you say it? I bet you did. I was super fast. Like Sonic the Hedgehog. Actually, I don't think you know who that is. Do they have Sonic in the wizard world? Yes? No? Why am I writing this like you're with me and can answer right now? I guess you can just answer the questions in response letter thing. Yeah, so why did I write about Sonic again? Oh right! Apparently I'm an bigger small child then those small children, so I'll be okay. Though my mom still doesn't want me wandering around by myself just in case. -H-a-h-a-,-j-o-k-e-s-o-n-t-h-e-a-l-l-i-g-a-t-o-r-t-h-o-u-g-h-,-I-h-a-v-e-m-a-g-i-c-. Though I'm actually not allowed to use that. Scratch that. Actually, I will. Anyways. I got your present Chris! And I love them. Fox socks and badger socks. I'll wear them both. At the same time. Mix and match. Though I already do that i'mma do it with these too! Thank you! Tell me when you get your present, I wanna know if you like it! Also: I thought it was really cool that Professor McGonagall helped you get them since you couldn't leave Hogwarts yourself to get it. She'll be a great head of your house when you show everyone that you're really the greatest Gryffindor ever. But until then, and it will happen, we're Hufflepuff Buddies. Write back soon!
- PHIL (your Hufflepuff Buddy)
(PS: if any wizarding people besides Chris find this letter and see what I crossed out, I'm not using magic, it's not allowed and though I'll have magic THAT I WONT USE, the alligators still have teeth. Lots of them. And they're pointy. No thanks, I'm fine. I'll stay inside where it's safe.)
~•~•~
Hello Chris,
How're you? Hope you're doing well. Though I'm sure you're probably not. I'm sorry that this happened. Really. Your parents really aren't allowed to act like this. It's very rude and I'm not going to stand for this =a=g=a=i=n=. Though Phil's trying to reassure me that you're not having it so bad and you're probably going out late at night to explore the castle to make me feel better. Honestly though, I wouldn't be surprised if you were. You said you've been wanting to and since you've been in the slump since the sorting, when there's less teachers seems like as good a time as any. Get into your Gryffindor roots and sneak out. Heck, get caught and get in trouble. Yes, I'm encouraging you to get in trouble. I've never been the best influence anyways. I'm thinking something along the lines of locking Mrs. Norris in a broom cupboard and having Filch look for her for hours before letting her go or taking all of Malfoy's ties and scarves that he left back there and scattering them all throughout the dungeon. If you're up for it, I'll tell you the password for the portrait. Really, pranking Malfoy would be hilarious. You can even get Ron Weasley's two twin older brothers to help you. They love pranking. Best in the business apparently. If there was a business. They're there too. I know you know Ron, and you've been hanging out with him and Harry Potter, so ask him about his brothers.
I'm going to have to go now since we're opening presents. Speaking of, hopefully you like yours. Have lots of fun. Really, in all honesty, I'm not. Send help.
-Dan Howell
~•~•~
Hey Chris,
I'm going to have to make this quick because it's super important that I write to you before I go to sleep in a bit. Note how I said super important because though I know these letters come and go practically instantly, like about two times a day might I add, and if I wanted to I could have easily written it tomorrow I didn't because it was just really really important and I had to tell you right now!
So, I talked to my parents and they said they felt really really bad that you couldn't come over and stay with us over the break, since we were going somewhere else, so they said if it's still necessary by the time it comes around they would let you stay over during the summer holiday. (A/N: Sims 4 war flashbacks)
It's going to be so much fun and I can't wait for us to hang out the entire time. You'll love it here, I know it. Though it is going to be really different than where you live. Since there it's practically all magical and wizards and everything everywhere but here it's mostly muggles.
Though it's okay because a bunch of my friends are muggles and they're still really cool. Even without magic. Like my friends Sophie, Jamie and Louis from school before Hogwarts. They're great. Really! We always have so much fun.
Anyways, I gotta go to bed now. It's really late and we've got a long day tomorrow.
I'll tell you all about it in the next letter!
I've got a bunch more stories to tell.
Your friend,
The Professional Storyteller