A Bond is Sacred
a
Leaving the hospital was like facing reality. The sights were duller, the scents snuffed out by the smell of burnt flesh and metal. You repeated the same moment in your head in constant loops, unable to stop the twist in your gut every time you picture the last moment you saw the love of your life. Is this what living without the most vital part of you is like? You wondered this quietly to yourself as you stood along the installed balcony in your room at the tower. You stared at the beginning of dusk and the setting of the sun, stared at how the last rays slowly breathed their last breath and left you shrouded in a darkness that would not end, one hand resting on the small swell of your stomach.
You were starting to show and everyone could find the joy in your pregnancy but you. It hurts. It hurts to think and to feel knowing that if this child survives, it will be entering a world without someone so bright, a star that died out too soon, too fast. And it is so damn unfair; unfair to this poor fetus that it will only have you and whatever is left of you because he took the best parts in a flash and then he was gone. You are in shambles now, an old abandoned house, and moments away from being swept up in a tide. It’s cold. The thought faintly reaches you while the chilly fall air wraps around your shoulders and settles on your skin to make goosebumps form. Your hand stays pressed to your stomach, despite knowing that you won’t be able to feel a kick for months to come… hopefully. You’re still not sure how to feel about this, about being pregnant with his child. You should be happy- no- you are- but- there are too many conflicting feelings.
All you truly know is that you are lost, so lost in the dark that you don’t know where the path back home is anymore. There is no more sun to see, but you remain on the balcony staring. You had taken to doing that a lot now as well, drifting along with the tower and trying to stay out of sight as much as possible. Your powers are no longer functioning correctly, making you a danger to yourself and others, but it mostly tears you apart even more because, with them, you could see him again, you could see his smile and feel his touch and you’d be okay. You’d be you if you could see him again, just once, just one touch, one kiss, anything would be worthwhile if it meant you could stare into his eyes one more time.
You stare until the tears blur your vision, hand quivering over your stomach before dropping completely to hang limply at your side. Wishing and wanting is useless, you know it will not change what happened that day in Sokovia, you know that it will never bring him back to you and all of the dreams you had would always remain as dreams. You would never get married to the love of your life, would never spend the rest of your life with him, never raise your child by his side- never- Your head drops next, tears trickling down your cheeks faster than you can force them away. Crying is second nature to you now, it is the only way to keep going forward. If you were not allowed the liberty to cry, you would surely self destruct.
“You are still out here, Little One?” Wanda’s voice is a surprise by your side but you don’t have the energy to show it, your breath catching in your throat as she carefully wraps a soft blanket around your shoulders. You know which one it is instantly; he’d gotten it for you once when you were sick, sure that it would have a healing touch because he said so. You’d coughed and told him to make you soup along with continuing to use his mystical powers to make you ‘better.’ It hurts to be near her because it is the same as being as close to a breathing piece of him as you ever will be again, but you will never tell her and hurt her that way. She curls her arms around you next and you feel your heart tumble free of your chest and sink to the ground at your feet. Her warmth and the blanket help to combat the growing cold, but it won’t reach any deeper. You feel so cold inside, so empty.
“I-I wanted to watch the sunset...” You responded after a moment, voice quivering with pain and tinged with need. You need so much care that it is palpable, tangible in the air. Everyone puts in time, effort, in making sure you are okay, even if only half of you is present. Steve and Tony are pillars that hold up your hollow structure, Sam is company when you need to not be alone, when you need the safety of another human being there before the thoughts start to grasp at you once more. Even Bucky is there, in his way, scared of any physical contact for fear of hurting you and the baby. Their Bonds show you affection to fight your affliction even if it is useless. They try for you because you cannot try anymore. Every day you breathe is another breathe you feel is stolen.
“And so it has. Let us return inside. We can share your bed.” Wanda is everything to you, even when all you want is to push her away and be isolated once more. You allow her to guide you back through the entrance to the balcony, the glass door closing behind your retreating figure and sealing you back inside. You would feel claustrophobic if not for Wanda’s guiding touch. She leads you over to the soft King-sized bed and helps you lay down comfortably, still wrapped up in the same kind blanket. It helps you sleep, it is one of the few things that can keep you at peace. You quiver as you’re covered with another blanket and you watch anxiously through the dim lights of the room as Wanda crawls onto the other side of the bed, filling it with her warmth and smell. It fucks you up inside watching her take his place on that side of the bed, but you can’t sleep in the bed without someone there. You like it best when it’s her or Steve’s Bonded, Veera; sometimes even her and Steve clamor onto the bed to keep the nightmares at bay.
When Wanda is under the covers, you finally allow your eyes to close, so weak that it is as easy as breathing. You try to set your mind at ease by reminding yourself that she won’t leave you in the middle of the night by yourself, that you don’t have to worry about being alone in the dark for now. And once you are able, you’re asleep, finally, one hand resting lightly on your stomach. The dream is familiar and the instant the scene sets itself in motion, the terror piles on top of you like building blocks. You never get to see his face in these night terrors, never get the sweet relief of seeing his eyes or that cocky smile, never get to feel his touch or the warmth of his skin. It’s cold and dark but you can see him from a light shining far off. His back is turned to you and you open up your mouth to call out to him, but your voice is too low. You’re screaming at the top of your lungs with your voice dying out faster and faster when he starts to walk away and head towards the shining light. You reach out and begin to run, but it’s not fast enough, it’s not loud enough, You are reaching and running as fast as possible and still, he is too far ahead for you to reach.
You wake up screaming his name again. You wake up with horror on your tongue and the verge of a panic attack, your vision blurring and growing spotty as you whipped your head back and forth wildly. Wanda is there quickly, touching at your arm to soothe you and despite it not being the touch you want, the touch that will make the pain go away, it is enough to quiet your screams to a low keen, tears staining your face and nose as they run horizontally down your face from where you lay. Watching this almost every night she stays with you breaks her heart. Having to watch her brother’s lover slowly waste away like this makes Wanda feel sorrow so deep inside that not even she can reach it now. She strokes over your arm in slow motions to calm you further, your keen reverting to hiccups as you whisper hoarsely, unaware of what you are saying.
“W-Why did he l-l-leave me?” You’re staring at Wanda but you’re staring past her and her eyes. They have the same eyes. It’s not exactly the same shade, but they are still the same eyes. You mumble and blubber nonsense as she pulls your shaking figure into her orbit and keeps you close, stroking your hair and back to try and get you back to sleep. She doesn’t answer the question; she can’t. Even she wishes she knew the answer but there is nothing she can do but this, be beside you as your family, as someone who loves and supports you when you need all that you can grasp onto. So many nights she wished for her brother to come back to her, back to you, back home to people who loved him so dearly. And every night, keeping you safe gives her a sense of pride because you were his treasure, his Little One, and she would stop at nothing to fight away the darkness grappling you in its inky abyss.
“W-Why…” You whisper as pure exhaustion clutches at you and forces you to finally fall into a dreamless sleep, no one to chase, no one to scream after. Only darkness that you welcome back like an old friend. You awaken to Wanda brushing her fingers through your (h/c), (h/l) locks, an endearing smile on her lips as if she were handling a child. And aren’t you? You suck in a few breathes to keep calm, your heart rate spiking slightly before you can hone in on the feel of her hand and how nice it is. You were small before, but now it is truly a wonder that you are still able to function. You’ve grown feeble, skin and bones except for the plumpness of your belly. Your doctor would give warnings again, feel worried because you aren’t getting enough nutrients and it’s bad for you, bad for the baby, and you feel more like a failure than ever each time. Wanda continues to run her hands through your hair and stare at you, holding her tears at bay; she is your rock; she will stay strong and cry where you cannot see her.
“My Little One, how would you like for us to go on a journey?” She asked quietly, watching for your reaction. You blink slowly a few times, the question taking you by surprise, the sting of the nickname overlaying your curiosity.
“A-A journey?” You question, voice quieter than it used to be. There are so many things you used to be, and now you are a shell, and even that was beginning to crack a little more each day until there would be no return.
“Yes, just you and I. Or even Sam can come along. And Veera is back from her mission. She can come too if you’d like.” The idea shoots a faint warmth that Wanda catches there in your eyes. It makes her so hopeful that it takes her breath away. You think it over; it would be nice to be somewhere that isn’t here, somewhere that will take away your aches and pains for at least a little while. And you like Sam a lot, he always manages to coax you out of your room for walks and little grocery runs, pampering you subtly so that you are unaware that it is for your benefit and Veera is sweet and funny and can fly… and maybe… she can help you. Where your stunted abilities deal with the aging of time itself and could potentially have enough power to see him, her’s dealt with a different aspect of time, a more powerful one such as creating it, reversing it, becoming a living embodiment of it. You could do nothing with your powers but maybe she could… help you and allow you a chance to see him again. Messing with time is nothing to toy with, the same had been said to you by the professor since you could accelerate the aging process to the point of disintegration upon impact and radioactive decay. But you were so distraught that you were willing to alter time once, just once, if it would give you that bit of respite. And sure, Steven Strange would have a problem with it, but you didn’t see any other options.
“C-Can we go to… Fiji?” The words leave your mouth softly, afraid almost, and without thought on your part. You don’t know why that is the place in the world that you want to go to, but there is something there in your chest, a sensation telling you that it is a place you need to go. It’s inexplainable, the same way his tattoo has remained thick and dark on your skin all this time. And it’s the place you wanted to have your wedding, right there along the shoreline where the ocean constantly greets the sand with wet kisses, uncaring of how the tide would ruin the train of your gown. You wanted to breathe in the scent of salt and feel wet sand between your toes as you stared into the eyes of your love and said your vows, you’d anticipated the sound of his thick accent that would make your heart skip beats, and how he’d hold your hand before slipping the ring onto your finger. You’d pictured it so many times after he’d sprouted the ideas in your head, still stunned that he had planned on making you his wife, that he had wanted to spend the rest of his days with you.
But instead, he- he died… and it didn’t matter that he died protecting Clint and a child. It didn’t matter that he died being a hero for a nation that needed them so badly. None of that mattered. He died facing off Ultron and saving the world but in the end, he still- he still left. You’d told him to be careful, told him how you couldn’t live in a world where he didn’t exist, and it was beginning to not be mere words of a lover, but the truth, as you faded a little bit more from moment to moment.
You don’t know it but the ring… it’s waiting there in that cave, waiting for you to find it and rightfully claim it before the waves do.
You force down a prenatal vitamin and finish a bottle of water for the safe measure as Steve checks you over to make sure you are fit to travel. You know it’s just a precaution and Steve is being the wonderful man that he is, but you know that if he says you can’t go, that it’ll crush the tiny bubble of excitement that managed to inflate inside of you. And he can tell, that’s why he doesn’t take too long and gives you a hug that lingers and tells you to be safe and to call if you need anything like a parent seeing their child off on their first overnight trip. You wave off his helicopter parenting with a small smile as Wanda takes your hand and Veera grasps the other, stealing a kiss from the blushing boy scout as Sam contently carries the bags. He and Steve share a knowing look; Pietro told them about the ring and the only reason they never brought it up was that it would only tear open fresh wounds when you were light years away from healing. Call it betrayal, call it wrong, but they knew that giving you the ring before you were ready for it would destroy the rest of you.
But it was different now, there was a pull to the island as if you somehow knew, and that meant it needed to get to you. And Sam would gladly guide you and let you grasp onto it for yourself, one of Pietro’s last testaments to you. The small jet is packed carefully and given another once over by Sam who volunteered as the pilot. It isn’t long before you are off the ground, shrouded in your familiar blanket because you are small and cold and Wanda just knows that it will keep you calm during the flight over to the island. Veera sits beside you, hand outstretched and palm up, a small floating orb in her palm. It reflects another dimension, one where the trees rise so high that they are a part of the sky, vivid shades, and hues of pink and blue coexisting with each other in eternal sunset. It keeps you distracted and fascinated, long enough to tire you out. You rest your head against the window, the lights on the ship dimmed the way you prefer it as you drift off into a calm sleep.
The dream this time starts with the crashing of waves and fingertips stroking down your arm. You feel the sun’s rays stretch out indefinitely to warm your bare skin, so hot that it feels like a gentle brand against flesh. You smell the familiar freshness of the sea, a pelican making noises not far off.
“My Little One…” Oh, his voice is a sweet release, and no matter how much you want to scream for him, you can’t. You can do nothing but lay there under the sun and listen, his touch a tease as his arms carefully shift you to his body. You can’t see him, but you can feel his blood pumping, heartbeat racing where your head lay against his chest, “I will be with you soon.”
Soon…
“Just wait a little longer for me. Everything will be okay.”
And with that, your dream grows fragile and you are tipping and rolling towards the sun and away from the darkness wrapping around the beach.
Soon..
Those are the words you remember when your eyes open to the darkness of the yet, no terror thundering in your veins, no pain, nothing. It is the first time in a long time that you are not afraid of the creatures in the dark. And it is the first time in a while that your bond tattoo, Pietro’s name still graphed onto your skin, began to come to life with a new fire. You chase the feeling, closing your eyes to hold back tears; you don’t want to cry right now even if they will be tears of joy. You want to bask in this moment for as long as possible, the heat a steady drill sifting through the empty twist of your gut to fill you up with heat. Soon, you recall the gentle croon of his voice and how he embraced you in your dreams and it is enough to instill an ounce of hope, a kernel of faith inside you that you grasp onto for all that you are worth.
Sam is an excellent pilot, even through tumultuous altitudes and winds, there are barely any shakes of the jet’s wings and you often find yourself checking up on him to have something to do and to see if he needed anything. You are feeling more… just more. Even Wanda and Veera pick up on the change; you are talking more instead of simply staring out of the window, more actively aware of the people and your surroundings. But you are also feeling more, literally. At first, it was a small sensation here and there, but suddenly you can see bursts of color emanating from your friends that you think are a trick of the light. The closer the jet draws to Fiji, the more these sensations persist until the colors, this aura, persists and settles. Wanda’s aura is maroon, but light and airy around her, swirling around her fingertips and throat. Where her color is dark, Veera’s aura is the brightest blue you’ve ever set your sights on as it drapes around her shoulders and forearms. Upon landing, you get a glimpse of Sam’s aura too, a deep, forest green that chases after him constantly. You don’t bring up this strange new power, yet, still coming to terms with what it could be. It had nothing to do with your original power over time, but instead, focused on emotion.
The moment you set foot on the shores of Fiji, the emotions start to pelt you, first from your friends, then other inhabitants of the island. It’s not something you think is a mistake, you can sense the tender love and care your friends harbor for you, it’s written in their aura and on their faces with how they handle you. You take off your shoes to walk along the pavement, preferring the rough touch of the ground. Sam offers to check you all in and handle the bags while giving Wanda a look you can’t decipher. It matters very little and soon you are tugging Veera along because you want to get to the beach. You want to run through the ocean and feel the water splash all over. A few people litter the shore in small packs, enjoying the sunshine and relaxing entirely. You want to do the same; it would be renewing to shed even an ounce of the guilt off your shoulders for even a single moment.
Wanda watches as she follows a few paces back, mouth pursed as she studied your frame. You are… different, a good different and a change from your demeanor at the tower. But she had noticed you couldn’t use your powers ever since he vanished from your lives. The psychological toll had been so great that even when you tried to accelerate the time of a small object, it would only age slightly, barely at all. And now there was an even bigger difference. She tried not to peek into your fate but as invasive as it was, she couldn’t help it. Your fortune kept waning and changing like the phases of the moon and it worried her. She could see Luna as a small child and you, so full of joy that it spills from you like a basin tipping over. But there is still a chance too high that you will not survive this blow.
Soft waves wash over your toes and make you smile softly as you stare down at how the sand darkens with wetness. The ocean had always been so fascinating. If not for becoming an Avenger, you were sure you would have studied the sea until your very last day. Your tattoo is still warm, spreading along your body gently, encasing you in such heat that it brings joy to your tired bones and ignites a small flame inside your joints. You venture a little further under the watchful eyes of your friends and fellow heroes, Veera always two steps behind as Wanda stays rooted to the shore. You look happy already, shoulders back and head held high, it is such a lovely sight to see that she has to cover her mouth from crying out. This is what he would want to see, she believes deep down in her core, this is the you he had loved the most, the girl in love with the sea.
Your first date had been almost disastrous. Tony had been much too accommodating once he found out the young speedster was your Bonded, practically kicking the two of you out of the tower with two reservations to some big wig restaurant. He didn’t tell you that he had bought out the place for the entire night, complete with an orchestra playing soft tones in the background once you arrived. Veera and Natasha dressed you in a gown of deep maroon, dolled up your face with highlight shiny enough to crack mirrors, your lips painted over a matching maroon shade and contouring that confused you with how much it made you look more. Just more. You were so nervous that for half of the date, you stumbled over words and couldn’t look him straight in the face because he kept staring at you so hard that it sent nervous butterflies tumbling over themselves inside of your belly. Your Bond has yet to fully form because of your limited time together. He is usually sent on longer missions at a farther distance, while you usually don’t do much but sit around the tower and wait for a dire crisis. Fury seems to think that you and Veera out at the same time would be catastrophic if people knew there were multiple time freaks in one place. Steve had to console his Bonded for a long time because Fury made her feel bad about what she was and who she was, but she was wonderful inside and out.
“You are not like other girls.” He’d said with that little smirk that catches you off guard. You cough softly with a flush growing on your cheeks, accented by the highlight and leaving your face a glowing pink. You glance up from your plate of well-done steak half touched because you’re so nervous and afraid that eating will make you throw up absolutely everything. And that would be even more mortifying. You aren’t too sure of this yet, still too shy to really try and see yourself with someone as amazing as him. Because Pietro is amazing and witty, and so handsome that it hurts. And you’re just the girl who spends half of her paycheck going to the local aquarium because you love the fishes and the sharks and the sea. It is something that you have always liked.
“W-What do you mean?” You stammer out, already chiding yourself for your shortcomings. He’s going to find you weird and quiet and probably think it’s best not to Bond and then you’ll be alone forever and probably die that way and just-
“You are the beautiful girl who loves the sea, are you not?” The complement isn’t lost to you; in fact, it makes you crack the most heart splitting smile in the star system. Pietro isn’t prepared for how it dazzles him, makes him feel his mark scorch over with fire. Yes, he is so very much in love, that much is all he needs to know at this point. He’d been watching you for quite some time, always drawn to you, and it was no wonder once they figured out he had a Bonded tattoo and it was your name. And he loved teasing you to see that blush and that shy smile. After becoming an Avenger, he admits he was maybe somewhat of a slut for a time, having been drawn in by the hero mentality.
But nothing could ever compare to this, to having Tony Stark help him woo you. You being shy is not a bad thing, in fact, it only makes him want to get inside your mind and figure out more.
“I-I do love the ocean and sea a-animals are my favorite. Did you know that the Blue Whale is the largest in the world?” You ramble out due to your nerves always making you babble nonsense. Pietro leans his elbow on the table and rests his chin against his palm, staring at you adoringly. You are unable to do much else but feel beautiful because of it.
“No, I did not. Would you tell me more?” He grins, seizing the moment because you are open and alive when you talk about something you love. The way you love the sea… he wants to earn that much love from you as well.
And you did. You spent the rest of the night getting caught up in the moments, in his eyes, as you spoke more about your frequent visits to see the prized octopus, talking about the tattoo of the one you have cradled in the center of your back. He comments about wanting to see it sometime and that just makes you choke on your wine.
And maybe it had become unorthodox, but before long, your Bond had solidified and it was like the start of an era.
“Do not wander out too far, Queen of Fiji,” Wanda calls out to you as the water reaches just under your knee. You turn back to see her a bit off to the side and nod fervently, resembling a child checking in with their parent. You love the crash of the waves, how the tide weakens and grows, how lovely it is the feel the sun before it grows pale and pinks and blues meld with orange along the horizon. Sam finds the three of you there on the beach, arms crossed as he stands beside Wanda and merely watches, murmuring loud enough for her to hear.
“Do you think she’s ready for this?” He questions as he watches, the side of him that absolutely adores you coming out to show on his face. He would do anything to protect you, just like the rest of the team.
“I believe so. There is something new about her, have you noticed? The moment she touched this place, she became new again. Stronger. She needed to come. My brother would find peace in seeing her this way.” There are talks of taking you off of the roster, all readily accepted because you are in a delicate stage of your pregnancy and sending you out, no matter how much you wanted to fight and prove your worth, would only put you and baby Luna in danger. And that was a risk no one was willing to take, not even Fury.
“She is our little starfish, after all.” Sam says with a nod of approval, taking a couple of steps to feel the warm waters for himself. It’s always nice to get away on a little break for a change, and Sam felt honored to be among them, here along with the meeting of sand and water. He’s not too good at understanding how you feel completely, but he has lost people, he understands what that’s like better than a lot of people do. He always liked to offer his shoulder whenever you felt like you were going under.
But here, you are above it all. You float higher than your sadness can reach and outrun your pain by far. The first day on the beach is spent indulging in your need to trek across the sand, digging your toes into the coldness and drawing out little messages that get washed away with the growing tide. Wanda forces you to come back so all of you can head for the hotel and it is endearing to see you stare back every few steps as if the sea might vanish by the next morning. Sam had already checked in the four of you with three rooms, one for him, Veera, and one for you to share with Wanda. It is another unspoken thing that you will room with her because she is somewhat of an anchor. You may feel good, but it wouldn’t be enough to stop you from being terrified at night. The room itself is spacious with a simple queen-sized bed in the center with sheets the color of an ocean at daybreak. Beautiful designs were carved into the bed frame and the drawers and floor appeared to be of finest wood from the island.
“Take a nice bath and I will be here when you are ready for sleep,” Wanda says as she opens up one of her small suitcases to find her sleepwear. You nod and venture for the bathroom, the tub sunken into the ground made of granite that shimmers in the dim bathroom light. It takes you a moment to figure out the mechanics, but soon, hot water is filling up the tub and you fill it with suds that smell sweet and fresh. Slipping into the heat is like freeing yourself of all the weight of the past days, weeks, months. The water heats you until it reaches your core and you relax and sink further, eyes fluttering closed to live in the moment without being swept up in your neverending nightmare.
You end up falling asleep in the tub, so warm inside and out that you can’t help it. Wanda wanders in when she grows worried since you were taking longer than expected. She gently reaches to shake you by your damp shoulder until you come to, eyes fluttering open with a drowsy, dazed look on your face. No screaming. No terror. Just calm envelopes you as she helps you out of the tub and drapes a towel around you while taking a step at a time back into the room. You manage to dry off yourself before she helps you into an oversized shirt to sleep in, her hands soft and warm and with the ability to do such good things. You sit in front of her as she sits against the edge of the bed, a brush in hand. Each stroke of the bristles against your (h/l), (h/c) locks releases a sigh from you, each brush of the thistles against your scalp makes you more and more sleepy. Everything feels better, and when Wanda finishes brushing out any lasting knots from your hair, you clamber onto the bed and curl up close to her. This isn’t the tower or your bed, but it is a place that doesn’t smell like him or remind you of his wit and smile or the way his kisses tasted. Here is free of Pietro. Free of Pietro. Free.
Pietro.
You feel a little freer of your guilt and pain.
You don’t dream about him, but it’s alright because when you wake up in the morning with your mark more alive, burning up against your skin, you feel good. You are the first up of your group, coaxing Wanda out of bed once room service delivers a huge breakfast for two of you. She is partial to pancakes and you drizzle them in a raspberry sauce the way she and her brother loved it and watch the way her eyes grow warm at the sight. She feasts on them and the arranged fruit while you slowly work through the blueberry pancakes that take up the proportion of your plate, nibbling until you’ve had your fill and drinking two cups of orange juice. Once you’ve had your fill, Wanda convinces you to pick out one of the bathing suits she packed for you so you could venture out farther into the ocean before going on a little trip further down the coast. Sam and Veera meet you outside, a boogie board in Sam’s hand and Veera sporting purple shades to match the deep velvet of her two-piece. Wanda wears a maroon one-piece that hugs her hips and wraps around her neck with a small collar. Your one-piece fits comfortably to accommodate your extra companion, the color an ombre, going from dark blue at the bottom to light seafoam at the top. You were grateful for Sam being above the speedo trend, sporting trunks of black and white. Sam tells you about one of his last times at the beach before now and how he was so bad on a board that he nearly drowned, but he saw a huge octopus on the way down.
“I’m telling you, that octopus had it out for me,” Sam said among the skeptics, mainly Veera and you, your group walking comfortably along the shoreline and trying to scope out the perfect spot for tanning. Sam grumbles to himself, mouth upturning in the mimic of a pout.
“That octopus was probably wondering why you were in his ocean, Sam.” You suggested with a smile that brings a subdued light to your eyes. The breeze is slight and feels nice against your exposed flesh. You feel like you can do anything, everything; you feel like there is a place where time can stop and rewind or jump ahead if you want it to. It’s the first time you think that if you try, your powers won’t disappoint you. Still, it’s too soon to tell and you would much rather get Veera alone for the plan forming quickly in your mind. Wanda would never agree, not in this lifetime, and Sam would be quick to join her side, but maybe Veera would be more understanding. They all had their Bondeds, they were happy and safe and loved by their equals. Was it so bad that you wished to have that life back? To take back what was stolen from you by defying time?
Sam is much better on a boogie board, his form a small blip out against the vast blue of the sea. Wanda is much more inclined to take a dip in the water as well, leaving you and Veera alone in tanning chairs. Your toes curl up against another small breeze and you keep glancing at your friend, unable to help yourself. You can’t see her eyes or where her gaze is through her shades and it makes you anxious about asking her for something no one else would ever agree to.
“(y/n), you can ask me anything, you know that, right?” You clear your throat, her blue aura suddenly bursting from her chest to wrap around her torso like a glove. She’s calm, complacent to sit there with you and not have to move an inch. You can sense the curiosity pouring off of her in waves. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, shielding yourself from having to potentially see her aura darken when you asked her-
“Veera… I.. I need him back-” You pause, a lump quick to form in your throat. You allow another moment to pass before continuing, “...I w-would never ask you if this w-wasn’t serious... I can’t live without him.. What I’m doing n-now isn’t living. It gets harder to g-get through each day that passes… My baby d-deserves-” Veera sits up, reaching up to rid her face of the glasses. She first glances at the others before turning to look at you, her eyes searching yours. It’s only when she finds what she’s looking for does she crack a small smile.
“I had a feeling you were going to ask me sooner or later. And that as much as Steve will be angry at me for it for allowing you to put yourself in danger, I have to help you. I have to help the three of you so you can be the family you deserve to be. But you also have to promise me something if I do this. Professor and Fury will kill me too.”
“I’ll do anything.” You shoot up, stomach soft and slightly rounded.
“There’s a place we need to take you first, then I’ll help you. But enjoy this time you have right here. I need you calm if I’m sending you back. You have to have a clear head or else you could end up in 1984.” Veera explained and you nodded your head fervently, inhaling and resting back against the comfortable chair. You should tell Wanda and Sam. You should tell Steve and Tony and Scott and Clint and Tasha and Kurt and Jean- but- you can’t. You can’t do that or else they could clue in the professor and he would do everything in his power to stop you from messing with time. But of course, you would try, you would do anything for that chance. Was it so selfish that you would risk your life to save his? Would he be disappointed that this is what became of you?
You close your eyes and embrace the sensation of the sun heating your skin, setting the feeling to memory while trying to visualize that last, heart-shattering moment. You picture the bullets as they pelted his skin just before they could strike Clint and the child, you remember feeling so much pain splinter your heart into shambles that you deteriorated the enemies around you. That was the last time your powers functioned before going out like a lightbulb. You shrink into yourself as you force the visual in your mind’s eye. You need to see this, to remember the pain to keep you grounded. You remember the scent of blood and oil, the painful gashes on your thigh and the slight internal bruising that managed to miss your growing child. You make yourself remember the sight of Pietro falling even if your body grows limp in the chair under the sun’s rays. The fresh wave of pain keeps your mind fresh, ready, waiting for the moment Veera would push you through time and space.
When Sam finishes his boarding expedition, both he and Wanda venture towards you and Veera and you quickly wipe away your wet eyes and smile. Wanda notices the red rims of your eyes but doesn’t call you out on it; instead, she reaches to help you up.
“We have something to show you, Queen,” Her smile is gentle, but her aura is slightly darkened along the edges and bright where it touches her cheeks and shoulders. Maroon is such a lovely color on her, you think faintly as you nod and keep your hand in hers. Sam leads the way, sometimes glancing at you before turning forward and continuing to guide everyone along the shore. You walk along the expanse of the beach for a while, the sun still high up in the sky by the time you reach the entrance to a cave. It’s dark and a small stream rushes down into the darkness from the ocean.
“Why are we here?” You ask, blinking as your eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness. Wanda uses her powers to shine a bright red light to help lead the way as Sam reached for your other hand.
“We came to get something Pietro left for you,” He explained slowly, instinctively holding you up when your knees instantly buckled under the weight of his words. You blink rapidly, chest rising and falling more rapidly as you clutched at his and Wanda’s hands. Did he leave something for you here? On this island, in this cave? God, of course, he would do something like this just to make sure it would never reach you before he wanted you to know. But- after everything happened… there was no way for you to get whatever it is he wanted you to have.
“He told me about it the week before the mission,” Sam explained, and even he is having a hard time having to talk about Pietro in the past tense. Sure, he had been an annoying kid, but he was a member of the team. Sam had experienced losing people and it hurt every time, “We wanted to wait until you were emotionally ready to come and get it yourself.” The cave ground is slightly slick but with your hands being held, you don’t stumble once. Veera floats above the ground behind you, looking around to make sure nothing would jump out of the darkness. Sam only stops once you have to make a turn, helping you duck slightly when the ceiling lowered drastically. It’s a tight fit, but easier for you and Veera since both of you are small. You instantly pick out what doesn’t belong from the large crack on the other side of the cave entrance, light streaming in and illuminating the tiny pocket and the small black box. You release Sam and Wanda’s hands and venture a little closer, reaching and gently grasping onto the soft velvety box as quickly as your shaking hands will allow. You try to wrap your head around the feeling swelling in your chest and the dampness in your eyes makes it hard to see anything at all. Sam reaches for your elbow to guide you back out, your other hand clutching the box so tightly that your knuckles buckle. The box is simple and a midnight blue that slightly shimmers in the sun once you reach the entrance again. You can’t wait until you get back to the hotel, you can’t wait until you get back on the plane, you could barely wait now. Sam releases you, his green aura a bright shade that reminds you of freshly grown grass. You carefully open the delicate box, the diamond ring glittering so brightly you felt blinded. The jewel sits in an ornate design of a ring, the swirls all shimmering as you twist the ring around between your index and thumb. The diamond is a faint shade of blue and the most breathtaking piece of jewelry that you’ve ever set your eyes on. It’s a wedding ring. A wedding ring.
You flashback to that moment he voiced his wish to marry you. You remember it was just before the fight before you lost him. The tears pooling in your eyes finally spills over. Even then, you had only taken his words as a funny joke because marriage had never once crossed your mind. You slip on the ring before you lose it somewhere in the sand, and at that moment, you feel your power, once dormant, rear its head back with a scream inside your head. The sand around you begins to shake.
“(y/n)-” Wanda starts but Veera shakes her head and takes a step towards you.
“Stay back unless you want to age 40 years,” She warned as she reached to take your hand with the ring. She curls her fingers through the spaces of your own and squeezes with a soft smile, “You’re ready.”
“Ready for what,” Sam questioned with a furrow of his brows, but Wanda is two steps ahead.
“She cannot, Veera. She might lose the baby. What if she is lost in time? How will we find her? She cannot-”
“I love you, W-Wanda.” The tears are still falling, a glimmer on your face reflected from the sun. Please don’t be too mad at me for this. Please.
You see the crimson hue of her power prepared to stop you, but Veera raises a shield of energy through the air, her eyes closing as her blue aura turned an electric hue.
“I can only send you back to right before it happens. Picture the moment. Trust your instincts. Come back home.” Her words are precise and soft, only for your ears as Wanda’s energy crashed against her forcefield and reflected. Wanda is strong, but Veera has power beyond what you see. Sam tries to help her break through the force field as well, only to be pushed back gently. You’d thank her later, and apologize to Sam and Wanda for ruining your vacation. One moment the sun is pressing down against your naked skin and the next, everything is shifting itself around and you have to catch your breath or else you might choke. Veera whispers words of luck as you drift away in the darkness as if your subconscious was going through an astral plane. Your body feels like air and your thoughts are clouds and rain and you feel everything and nothing at the same moment. The sensation persists as you keep thinking of nothing but him, only him, and the last moment you saw his eyes full of fire and light.
The explosion sends you flying, your body smashing into a destroyed car and a piece of protruding metal tearing into your thigh. The gashes. The memory instantly berates you and you ignore the pain of complete movement as you push yourself up and look to your left and right, frantically searching for Clint and the child. The battle is in full swing and you take a moment to reorient yourself to the sounds, the energy pulsing under your skin angrily. The only thing on your mind is saving Pietro, no matter what, no matter the cost. A few of Ultron’s drones dive for you and you instantly disintegrate them into mere scraps as you dash past a few more flying towards you. You distinctly remember stopping to fight them off, wasting precious time, moments that you would have needed to get closer to Pietro. You dash and jump into a roll to make it over a totaled car, Tony blasting down a robot just above your head. You’re hyper-aware of your hushed breathing, your heart beating so fast that you can barely breathe.
Where is he! Where is he!
You scream the thoughts with all your conviction, head snapping in all directions for a sight of Pietro. Time was running out quickly and if you couldn’t find him and change his fate- you’d die. There was no denying you're weakening state in the present time. Luna sapped away energy and your ruptured bond had damaged you even more than you knew. There was something wrong with your biology because of it, something no doctor could fix. Your damp hair falls against your forehead as you throw a glowing orb of compressed time at a flying robot, watching it instantly rust before slipping behind another wrecked car to avoid a barrage of bullets.
A minute.
Maybe two.
You roll out of the cover, still spry despite the blood quickly dampening your suit from the horrid wound on your leg and dash across the battlefield, a quick blur of silver catching your attention. At the same moment, you see Clint just reaching the child. You turn in their direction, the ground crumbling under your steps as you run as fast as your body can go. Your ears are ringing from the sound of close-range explosions and you can barely hear out of your left ear, but it doesn’t matter. You watch Clint cover the child, shifting even faster as Steve’s shield flies past you to take out a flying bot ready to shoot you. Everyone is aware of your running form, how you aren’t paying any attention to the enemy, but there’s not a free moment for Steve to snap at you when he’s dealing with a dozen robots on his own. Tony shoots down another one as you dodge a bullet, ignoring the blood dripping from your cheek where the bullet grazed it.
Save Peitro. Save Pietro. Save Pietro.
The mantra keeps you from giving into the fire ripping up your leg to kiss at your burned thigh. The leg of the suit is completely drenched and despite knowing that running would only make it worse and you could potentially bleed out, you run as fast as you can.
You’re closing in, the robots are getting into position; you look at Clint as he notices you, quickly reaching to cover the child as fast as he can. You remember that position all too well. It was just before Pietro jumped in the way-
You never see it coming. He’s there, a few feet away, and you’re running as fast as you can even when you know you still aren’t close enough to push him out of the way, to take the bullets; that had always been your intention if it meant he would live. Your heart thunders, ready to split once more before your lips part and you release an ear-shattering scream. Your shriek expands over the area, a wave of energy splitting down the space between the robots and Pietro who stands in front of the child and Clint. The bullets are shot in quick succession just as your yell pelted the air. Tears brim in your eyes as you watch things become knocked off course because of you. The robots crash into each other and begin to rust over and turn to dust as your vision blurs over. You overextended yourself and the blood loss was finally becoming an issue. You stagger, swaying and trying to right yourself, but you’re falling before you can use more strength to hold yourself up. You reach a hand down to press against the now tiny pudge of fat under the stealth suit. Your baby, the tiny thing growing inside of you…
You try one last time to keep standing, but you’re too weak, your body falling over and crashing into the ground. You can’t see past the tears blurring your already fuzzy vision. It hurts to breathe and it feels like there’s a weight on your chest. You keep your hand against your stomach, whispering apologies as you succumb to the tiredness suddenly encasing your bloody limbs.
Did.. I … save him? You think before your world fades to black. Are we going to die….?
Sterile. It smells like the familiar scent of a hospital room, the quiet beeping of the machine waking you from your fitful sleep. You’re afraid to open your eyes- what if it’s a repeat? What if you did all of this, you tried, for no reason at all? You wouldn’t be able to face that, to live with that. Taking in a shaky breath, you open your eyes. The first thing you see once your eyes adjust is your leg raised, encased in a cast. That was new- In the first battle, you’d only needed stitches, but this time it appeared that you had gotten much more damage than before. Looking around, you slowly adjust to the room as the doorknob began to turn and you could hear a voice on the outside. It sounded familiar.
“Look, the longer you bother me, the longer it will take me to check up on her. For the seventeenth time, no Mr. Maxim-” The doctor’s words are cut short as the door quickly flew in and a silver streak appeared before you. Pietro looked like a wreck, dried blood and open cuts all over his face and chest. His hair is tangled with grime and tiny shards of glass and metals that he absentmindedly ruffles out as he stared at you, chest heaving. Your monitor begins to beep insistently at the sight of him, in the flesh, his face softening into that boyish relief before the rage hits him. You can feel the tears weakly forming, tiny drops dribbling down your cheek as he stared you down. His nostrils flared and his mouth tugged down into a frown.
“What were you thinking!”He yelled, accent thicker with his emotions, “You were close to the end! You could have died, my Little One, and then where would I be? I was so worried that I had lost you. I knew nothing, I could only sit by and watch them carry you away. Why did you do it? Why did you not take care of yourself?” He’s so angry that his rant is sounding even worse, and you continue to cry before the blubbering occurs followed by sobs. Pietro is thrown off; you didn’t cry often enough for him to think that this would be your reaction.
He blinks rapidly and is by your side in an instant, reaching for your hand, grasping it tightly and shaking his head too fast for you to make out. He leans down to shush you gently, pressing soft kisses to your forehead.
“Please, Little One, please. I am sorry for my temper. I am sorry. I was so worried... Scared. Afraid of not being able to protect you.” He explains and you shake your head because he doesn’t know, doesn’t understand the hell you’ve been through to get here. You hiccup and shake your head, only to start sobbing harder as you clutch at his hand even tighter, your throat clogged with emotion.
“I-I lost y-you!” You sobbed, grasp closing in even more as you try to see his face through your tears, “Y-You died a-a-and I was all alone! And y-you said you’d c-come back! Y-You said- You-” You hiccup and Pietro does his best to calm you down because you aren’t making any sense and it’s beginning to scare him. He uses his free arm to pull you gently to his chest, his hold warm and nice, the way it always was. His hold on you helps you calm down enough to start explaining when the doctor decided that was the perfect opportunity to enter.
“It seems your powers have been doing a wonderful job of keeping the little ones safe.” The familiar line makes your insides twist with guilt- you miss the slight change in his wording. You put yourself and your baby at risk because you wanted to save Pietro. You vowed you would never put your baby in jeopardy that way again. Pietro’s figure stiffens as his eyes widen, a light instantly shining inside of them.
“She’s…?” He asked with a hushed tone, watching the doctor nod as verification as he looked over your data on his clipboard.
“4 weeks pregnant and sent out to battle? God, you heroes need to get your priorities straight,” Your doctor joked with a shake of his head. He makes a few more notes before telling you that you’d have to stay for the rest of the week to get the proper rest, prenatal vitamins, and IVs. When he leaves, Pietro turns to you, your hand still in his as he raises it, face scrunching up when he takes notice of the ring fit snuggly around your ring finger. He stares at it before looking back at you.
“How did you know?” He asked, in awe, stroking his thumb over the gem. As he gazes at you, the door opens to reveal Veera, Wanda, Sam, and Scott in his Ant-Man uniform. They all look so relieved to see that you were alright, and as your eyes grazed over their figures, the ribbons of aura start to manifest once again. A deep ocean blue is Steve and it pours out of him in waves and crashes into Scott’s orange ribbons of happy emotion. Veera’s is brighter than the last time you saw her, and you glance up into her eyes and see the knowing smile there. You return a lopsided smile that droops and hurts your face and your eyes are wet but it’s because you are so grateful.
You turn your gaze back to Pietro and the fiery red of his emotions coils around you like a second layer, embrace you as he wraps his arms around you loosely, not wanting to hurt you.
“I h-had help from a friend,” You murmur, and Pietro isn’t satisfied with the answer, you can tell, but he lets it slide for you. Leaning in, his mouth leaves a path of flames in their wake when he brushes his lips against her bruised nose and purple cheek, the cut above your brow and the shell of your ear before he presses a lingering kiss at each eyelid. Your mark throbs and comes alive, the fire now implanted on the inside, striking at your bones. God, it’s real, he’s real, and he smells terrible and looks like a mess as his mouth travels down the bridge of your nose. You tip your head up and pucker up your lips just as he lowered his head to kiss you. You had almost forgotten the feel of his lips against yours in the months without him, almost forgot the way his lips bruise and soften against yours to coax you into safety before he strikes. He keeps the kiss minimal so as not to harm you, still holding your hand with no intention of ever letting it go.
“Luna,” You murmur as you glance down at the very visible baby bump through the maternity shirt. You leaned into Pietro’s side as the both of you stake your claim to the central living room couch, a trashy television show on before the next showing about manatees. You hummed softly and relaxed in his grasp, the cast still on your leg and just as unbearable as it was before. Pietro’s arm curled around your plumpness to stroke over your tummy the way you like.
“And Viktor,” He murmurs, supplying the boy name for your son while you provided the girl name that had plagued you for months. Twins. The irony was not lost to you, but you weren’t sure what you would do if your son ended up just as unbelievably insufferable like his father.
“Perfect,” You whisper, kissing at his throat where you hid your face, one eye on the tv, your hand at your side reaching to tug the covers up further. The documentary is moments away from starting but you’re beginning to doze off when you hear a whisper against the shell of your ear.
“I told you everything would be okay, (y/n). And I will never leave you again.”
You fall asleep with a smile on your face and the love in your heart flooding you whole. Your bond stood proud against your flesh, a symbol of everything you love. A bond is sacred, it is precious and should be held onto dearly.