Chapter 4
Waking up this morning, Lisa is fully clothed on Carla's sofa. It is almost like déjà vu. She really should stop making a habit of this. Lisa opens her eyes, surprised to find herself in Carla's living room. She has no recollection of the previous night's events other than singing dreadfully to Dolly Parton. Everything else, though, is a total blank. The immediate pounding in her head is enough to make her want to close her eyes and go back to sleep, but she can't do that. Not here.
"How did I end up here?" Lisa asks groggily and sits up on the sofa to see Carla sat drinking a cup of coffee across the room, and Betsy is there too, eating some toast. "Betsy, what on earth are you doing here?"
"Are you having a laugh, mother?" Betsy asks sarcastically. She has a face like thunder, but Lisa is more than used to that. She seems to see her scowling more than smiling at the minute. Betsy throws her crusts down onto her plate and looks at her mum. "I forgot my key, and Sabrina and I had a fallout, so I wanted to come home. I heard you were in the Rovers, and you told me to stay for a bit. I was having a good time until you completely embarrassed me."
"Embarrassed you how? I can't remember a thing. What did I do?" Lisa asks, and Carla lets out that famous throaty cackle of hers, and embarrassment washes over Lisa now. God, why does she always have to make a show of herself when she has had one too many? "Tell me what I did," she demands again. She doesn't really want to know the answer, but she knows that she has to find out. She hates not remembering and would much rather find out from Carla and Betsy than the rovers regulars.
Betsy gets up from the stool and looks at her mother with disgust. "I'll tell you what you did, shall I? You kicked off with Michelle in front of everyone and then fell on top of Sally Webster of all people. Arse over tit you went. God, it was so embarrassing! Ryan and Carla had to carry you back here.
Lisa feels her face go hot and has no doubt that she is turning crimson red by the second. She looks at Carla, who, despite everything, seems to find this all so funny. Bits and pieces are coming back to Lisa now, and she remembers accusing Carla and Michelle of 'being a thing', which is completely ridiculous in her sober state. She knows how close they are due to how strong their friendship is; they grew up together and are practically family. Lisa's eyes prick with tears of humiliation, but she quickly blinks them away before anyone notices. She opens her mouth to speak, but Carla interrupts her.
"Honestly, Lis, it wasn't half as bad as Betsy makes it seem." She is lying, and Lisa knows it, but she is thankful nonetheless. "You weren't the only one bladdered. That friend of yours, the loudmouthed one with the bleached hair, ended up getting kicked out for swilling Adam Barlow, then tried to start a fight with Tim—or so I'm told"
"Poor Ryan," Lisa says into her hand, and Carla laughs harder.
"Don't worry about him; it'll build character," Carla says, and Betsy rolls her eyes again.
"Never mind Ryan; what about me? Your daughter, who is absolutely mortified?"
Lisa looks at her one and only daughter and tries to hide her amusement, but it is not lost on Betsy, who throws her arms in the air in dramatic fashion and storms out of the apartment, shouting about how she's going to meet Mason. Lisa goes to protest, but Carla stops her.
"I'd let her be, Lisa, if I were you. She's been in a foul mood all morning, but she'll get over it. She's just being a drama queen," Carla tells Lisa, and the blonde falls quiet, not sure how or if she should bring up the argument she had with Michelle last night in the Rovers. She feels so silly, so stupid, and hypocritical. The irony of ending things with Carla and then causing a scene at the pub out of pure jealousy is not lost on her. The waves of embarrassment don't subside. She is remembering more and more as the minutes pass and finds herself wondering why Carla was kind enough to bring her back here to sober up after the way that she spoke to her last night.
Lisa sits quietly, and Carla brings her over a cup of tea and a slice of buttered toast. "Thanks, Carla, but I don't think I can eat that. My stomach is doing somersaults. I'm trying my hardest not to throw up all over your soft furnishings."
Carla chuckles. "We've been here before." She says with a smile and nods towards the plate. "That'll make you feel better; it'll settle your stomach."
Lisa reluctantly takes a bite of the toast and looks at Carla. "I'm starting to remember bits of last night and how I accused you and Michelle of... Oh God." She grimaces and covers her face with her hand, unable to finish her sentence as she remembers trying to kiss Carla. "I'm so embarrassed; I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," Carla smiles. "Michelle saw the funny side, and it is not the first time someone has accused us of being together, believe it or not.... and I know that I shouldn't say it, but I am going to say it anyway. It was nice to finally get a look at the real Lisa"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lisa asks with wide eyes, fighting with herself not to put that guard of hers back up.
"Well, you let slip how you really feel about me. I'm sure it doesn't change anything, but it was reassuring to know that you don't really hate me."
"Did you think that?" Lisa asks, and Carla sips her coffee.
"Think what?"
"That I hated you?"
Carla shrugs her shoulders. "Oh, I don't know. Everything that had gone on between us left me... confused. Deep down, I knew that you didn't hate me, but I suppose it was easier to let myself believe that you did in order to get over you.
Lisa sighs. "Oh, Carla." She rests her hand on the brunette's knee and looks into her eyes. The sincere look on her face and the idle hand on her leg make Carla want to lean in and kiss her, but she can't do that. She forces herself to regulate her heartbeat and steady her breathing. She just looks at Lisa, waiting for her to carry on. "I could never hate you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I am sorry for being such a ratbag, though. Really, I am. Everything I said last night was true... well, what I remember saying, anyways. " The look of hope in Carla's eyes is not lost on Lisa, and that makes her heart feel like it is being stabbed with a sharp blade because despite being honest with Carla about her true feelings for her, it can't change anything. She still has Betsy to consider, and even though she so desperately wants to make a go of things with Carla, she can't allow herself to, for her daughter's sake. Carla's lips part, and Lisa's eyes fall down to them, the way they did last night. Lisa kicks herself for it and quickly looks away. Carla still hasn't spoken, and Lisa can't take it anymore. "Say something, please."
Carla clears her throat and sits back against the cushion propped up behind her back. "I will be honest with you, Lisa. I don't really know what to say. I don't understand what you are trying to say. Are you saying that you have changed your mind and want to give us a shot, or are you telling me this for the sake of it and nothing changes between us?"
Lisa swallows the lump away that is forming in her throat before answering. Her eyes are filling with tears again, but this time she doesn't blink them away. A single tear slips from the corner of her eye and clings to her pale skin as it glides down her cheek. Carla knows, as she sees that tear fall, exactly what it means, but she can't bear to hear it, not again. She stands up and forces a smile onto her face, that bravado she always hides behind. "I'm sorry, Carla." Lisa leans forward and reaches for Carla's hand, but she pulls it away, folding her arms across her chest.
"Please don't. It's okay, honestly." Carla says, willing her voice not to shake. She knew deep down that Lisa's drunken confessions and show of jealousy wouldn't change anything, but she did let herself hope for a split second that it would. Still, she refuses to show Lisa how she really feels, so she lets out a nervous laugh and pushes her own hair out of her face. Lisa is scrambling, trying to make things better, and Carla sees that this is not the way Lisa really wants it to go, but she is stubborn and fiercely protective of Betsy, so no matter how she really feels or what she really wants, nothing will ever come of it. Carla lets Lisa take her hand this time, and she gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Really, Lisa. It's fine. You're thinking of Betsy, and even though I don't agree with it, I respect you for being a good mum. This doesn't mean that we can't be friends, though, eh? I meant what I said at Roy's. I just want us to go back to how we were."
"I do too," Lisa says, smiling through her remorseful tears. "I've realised now that I would rather have you in my life, even as just friends, than nothing at all, and avoiding you isn't the answer to anything."
"I mean, who wouldn't want me in their life, eh? I have a sofa that you and your daughter have made good use of in your drunken states, and I make the best toast. Not too soggy, not too crunchy." Carla's attempt at lightening the mood works, and Lisa lets out a small laugh accompanied by a soft sniffle, and Carla smiles at her again.
"How about I put the shower on for you and get some clothes for you to change into?"
"Are you saying that I smell, Ms. Connor?"
Carla scrunches up her nose and nods her head. "Just a little bit," she jokes and disappears into her bedroom, finally able to breathe again.
*
The rest of the afternoon passes by easier than Carla thought that it would. She and Lisa have binge-watched half of the new season of Law and Order SVU, and Lisa is still content on the sofa, in no rush to get home. Carla assumed that once she had showered, then she would be off out the door like a shot, but she was pleasantly surprised when Lisa asked to stay a little longer. As pleased as she was that Lisa wasn't running away, there was a part of her that worried that it would be the most uncomfortable and painfully awkward afternoon of her life, but it has been the opposite. They have enjoyed each other's company. They have talked things through once again, and the apartment has been filled with laughter and good spirits. They are halfway through another episode when Carla lets out a happy sigh, not taking her eyes off the TV.
"Oh, what I would give for Detective Benson to arrest me," Carla says out of the blue, and Lisa almost chokes on her cup of tea. "Sorry, did I just say that out loud?" She laughs loudly along with Lisa.
"So you've got a thing for female detectives?" She raises her eyebrows suggestively, and Carla wiggles her finger at her.
"Now, now, now, Lisa. Let's not go there, shall we? She is still laughing, and Lisa kicks her playfully. Their laughter is interrupted when she hears a key being inserted into the door, and Carla hopes to the gods above that it is not Bobby. The last thing she needs is for him to come in here and make himself at home right between her and Lisa on the sofa. That's the thing about Bobby: he misses social cues completely, and once he is here, there is no getting rid of him. The sigh of relief Carla lets out is a physical one when she hears Ryan's voice and the door opens, but before Ryan steps into the apartment, Carla's 5-year-old niece is charging towards her.
"Auntie Carla!" The child screams and jumps onto Carla, almost knocking her hot tea out of her hand in the process. The look of shock on Carla's face is a picture, and it takes her a second to hug the girl back.
"What are you doing here?" She asks the child, and her sister Kate answers the question for her as she appears at the door with a large suitcase by her feet.
"What do you mean, what is she doing here? We came for Christmas, remember?"
The realisation dawns on Carla. After everything that has happened between her and Lisa lately, then the surprise of Michelle moving back and everything in between made her completely forget that today was the day that her family was travelling back to Weatherfield. She suddenly feels guilty and puts her tea down to properly hug her niece, and she gets up to give Kate a proper greeting. Kate is Carla's younger sister who moved away quite a few years back. After marrying Rana and going through the long process of IVF, she fell pregnant, and deciding that moving away would give their child a better start at life, they settled down in Birmingham. Carla has not seen Kate or her niece in close to a year, and the difference in the child is outstanding. At now 4 years old, Penelope has lost all of her baby features, and her baby fat has long disappeared. She looks so grown up, and Carla wishes that she didn't have to miss out on so much of her life, but with them living so far down south, it is difficult to see each other as much as they would all like to.
Releasing Kate from the hug and watching Ryan carry through the suitcases, Carla looks over their shoulders. "Of course I remember; I just got the days confused and thought it was tomorrow you were coming, that's all." She lies. "Where's Rana?"
"Here I am!" Rana smiles, appearing at the door, and immediately goes to hug Carla. In the beginning Carla was not sure what to make of Kate and Rana's relationship. She was apprehensive to say the least, but she quickly realised that Rana was in it for the long haul and their relationship was genuine. She now loves Rana like she was her own sister, and seeing Kate so happy with her own little family makes Carla's hardened heart soften. For a second Carla forgets that Lisa is still sitting on the sofa, and even though nothing was happening between them, she shifts nervously. She turns to the blonde and smiles.
"I really need to stop meeting your family like this," Lisa says, getting up from the sofa.
"This is my friend Lisa." The word friend almost gets stuck in Carla's throat, but she manages to get it out in the end. "She had a bit too much to drink last night, so she's slept it off here."
Ryan laughs. "A bit too much to drink? You should have seen her." He says, full of amusement, and Carla hits his arm. "Sorry, sorry, but your rendition of Dancing Queen was something I wish I had gotten a video of."
"Well, thank God you didn't," Lisa mutters, embarrassed once again. She moves to introduce herself properly to Carla's family. She smiles at Kate and then down at little Penelope. "I have heard so much about you all."
"All good, I hope," Kate laughs, and Lisa jokes.
"I couldn't possibly say."
Ryan nudges Kate's arm is with his elbow. "She's one of your lot."
"One of my lot?" She questions in confusion, and Carla hides her face behind her hand, knowing exactly what Ryan is getting at but unable to stop him from blurting it out.
"She's a lesbian and all."
"Ryan!" Carla gasps, mortified. "She's more than just her sexual orientation, you know! You don't go around saying, Hi, I'm Ryan, and I'm straight, do you?!"
"Well, I just thought Rana and Kate would be pleased to know." He says idiotically, and luckily Lisa, Rana, and Kate all see the funny side of his unintentional ignorance.
Lisa, feeling like she is invading, makes her excuses to head home but assures Carla once again before leaving that she isn't going to disappear like last time, and as Lisa speaks, Carla believes her. They give each other a brief hug before she leaves, and although this is not the way Carla wanted things to go, she is happy that they can still be a part of each other's lives.
*
After just half an hour, Penelope has already made herself at home and trashed the apartment. At just four years old, she is advanced for her age, just like Kate was as a child. She is well beyond her years. From the moment that she could talk, she has been as inquisitive as they come, and her constant questions and nonstop chit-chat have already started to drain Carla. She is not used to being around such young children, but she loves her sister's child. She is as bright as a button. Genes are one thing, but Kate and Rana have put all their efforts into teaching her to the best of their ability, and it has well and truly paid off. They speak to her as if she is older than her years, and she responds as such. Carla hates all of that silly baby talk; it can't do children any good, she always told her sister. "If you talk to children like they are stupid, they will respond as such," she remembers saying when Penelope was just a toddler, and it turned out to be right.
Carla looks at her sister sitting with Penelope on her lap and Rana tucked into her side, and she smiles. All she wanted for Kate was happiness, and she is glad that she found that in Rana. There is still a slight sting that she never had this herself, though. Sure, she loved Peter, but he was never her peace. Not the way Rana is to Kate. Their relationship was always problematic, and they brought out the worst in each other. Sure, every couple argues, and Rana and Kate have had more than their fair share of arguments over the years, but never about something severely damaging to their relationship—not the way Carla and Peter were. They seemed to bring the worst out of each other.
"Why are you smiling like that?" Penelope asks Carla.
"No reason. You all just look so happy, that's all."
"Oh, don't get all soppy on us now, will you?" Kate jokes and throws Penelope's bunny at Carla from across the room. In this family they don't do big displays of emotion, and that suits them all to a T, but without showing it, they all know how much they think of each other, and Carla would go to war for Kate, Penelope, and Rana included. Carla watches as Penelope starts jumping up and down and protests when Rana pulls her to sit down. She sees a lot of Kate in Penelope. She has her quick wit, sharp tongue, and fierce personality, even at the tender age of 4, but she also has the ability to make anyone around her laugh. She may have Kate's temperament and half her genes, but remarkably enough, she has a look of Rana about her too, and not just because they chose a donor as close as they could to matching her. She pulls the same faces as Rana does and has her mannerisms. Her coffee-coloured skin and long locks of thick, dark hair are just like Rana's. Penelope's hair is curly, though, and most women would pay good money for a head of hair like hers. Normally it is pulled out of her hair and secured with a big bow, but today it is loose and falling in front of her face as she gets up to start jumping again.
"Sorry, Carla." Rana begins to apologise, still trying to get Penelope to sit down, but her efforts are failing, and Penelope is now charging around the room like a bull in a china shop. "We don't know what to do with her at the minute; she's been a nightmare."
"She has" Kate nods in agreement, and Carla can't help but notice how tired they both look. She smiles at them sympathetically and waves her hand.
"Let her wear herself out; it'll do her some good. So the sleeping arrangements can be juggled about a bit, but you know that I still have Bobby occupying one of the spare rooms." She rolls her eyes at that. "Ryan is going to stay with Chelle while you are here so you can take his room. It will be a tight squeeze with Penelope, but it's the best I can do with my humble abode.
"We'll manage. Thank you again for having us. We've been looking forward to spending Christmas here, haven't we, babe?" Kate rests her hand tenderly on Rana's, and Rana nods her head in agreement.
"We really have. I think a bit of family time will do us the world of good." They all jump as Carla's vase hits the floor and shatters across the wood flooring. Rana jumps up immediately, and Penelope stands there looking as guilty as sin. "Penelope, what did I tell you about running around! I told you to stop, didn't I?!"
"No, you didn't. You said stop jumping, and I wasn't jumping; I was running... but it wasn't me!" She lies so effortlessly.
"If it wasn't you, then who was it?" Rana challenges her, already sweeping up the mess along with a horrified Kate. Penelope shrugs her shoulders, then turns to the side, avoiding eye contact.
"I think it was the wind."
"Go and sit down right now," Kate says through gritted teeth, and Penelope sighs like a mini teenager. "And apologise to Auntie Carla. You've been here 5 minutes, and you've already wrecked her flat."
Refusing to apologise, Penelope throws herself onto the sofa. Rana looks like she wants to cry. Not because of the vase, but as nice of a child Penelope is, she can well and truly be a handful, and Carla knows it. Many a time she has had phone calls from Kate on the verge of a breakdown due to their troublesome daughter. Penelope's tantrums are legendary, and they once put it down to the terrible twos, but that year has been and passed, and Penelope's behaviour just seems to get worse. When Penelope first gave them a mouthful of attitude, Carla had been there. She was only two and surprised everyone with a mouthful of profanities for the first time in her life, and Carla found it hilarious. She found it so funny to the point of encouraging her to do it again. Her language had been so ripe, and from that day forward, she discovered that acting up was a way to get attention, and before anyone knew it, she was well and truly a handful. It suddenly dawns on Carla that this will be a very long couple of weeks.
"Can I have an ice cream?" Penelope asks.
"No," Kate and Rana say in unison, and Carla gets up, holding her hand out to Penelope, who gets up to take it. "What are you doing?" Kate asks, and Carla gets their coats from the hanger.
"I'm going to take her over to see Michelle. You two get some rest; it looks like you need it, and there is something that I need to see Michelle about"