Chapter 6
15:11
Mizuki, as soon as lunch was over, texted the group chat, saying that she was going to minimize the time she spent alone since she knew Suzuki wouldn’t attack her if she was with someone.
What did Mizuki do at the end of her last class?
Go to her locker.
Alone.
Big mistake.
To be fair, what else was she going to do? Ask Toya? “Hey, some guy is trying to jump me, can you miss out on notes so that you can come with me around the corner to my locker?” No, she’d look stupid and paranoid.
Besides, it was literally just around the corner, what could possibly happen? Suzuki was probably in class anyways.
Mizuki made it to her locker, easy-peasy.
Maybe today wasn’t the day, after all.
She put her books away, shut her locker, took a small sip of her drink, and—
Footsteps.
Footsteps she recognized way too fast.
Fuck.
As soon as Mizuki stood up, she was slammed forward into her locker.
Does it count as jinxing herself if she only jinxed herself in her head?
“Y’know, you almost looked like a real girl today, Akiyama.”
Mizuki would be hyperventilating if it were possible, but Suzuki had his arm across her back, pinning her to her locker, so she couldn’t really take full breaths.
Suzuki pried Mizuki’s left arm away from her side, yanking her sleeve up. Mizuki was too terrified to try and fight him off, she had learned her lesson from that ages ago.
Suzuki pulled something out of his pocket, but for the sake of her sanity, Mizuki wasn’t paying attention.
Cold air hit her arm.
Did he seriously cut the bandages off…?
“Wow, I’m surprised that didn’t work. What a shame, you can’t even kill yourself right. You would’ve been doing us all a favor, too.”
Shallow, shaky breaths were all Mizuki could manage. Hot tears brimmed her eyes, and Suzuki’s words started to sound distant as she spiraled into a panic.
She almost didn’t realize Suzuki reaching for the ribbon in her hair until he suddenly yanked it out.
A series of quiet rips followed, and Mizuki felt tears begin to fall.
That was her favorite ribbon.
Suzuki pried open Mizuki’s hand, placing something cold and metal in her palm before wrapping her fingers around the object. When he let go of her hand, his fingers then grabbed onto a handful of Mizuki’s hair.
Mizuki held her breath.
The first time he slammed her head against the locker, the adrenaline cancelled out some of the pain. For the most part, Mizuki just felt dizzy.
The second time, adrenaline didn’t help. Mizuki felt a sharp, throbbing pain in her head. She was starting to feel nauseous again.
The third time, Mizuki got really dizzy. If she wasn’t still pinned against the locker, she might’ve collapsed. Suzuki was talking the whole time, but nothing was registering in Mizuki’s mind.
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
That was all Mizuki heard before Suzuki walked away.
Mizuki walked the other way, then down the stairs and back into the construction area. The lights felt much brighter than they should be, and they weren’t helping Mizuki’s efforts to not throw up.
Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.
Mizuki rounded the corner, ending up exactly where she had told her friends this would happen.
Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.
Mizuki glanced down at the cold metal object.
It was a razor blade.
Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.
Mizuki walked a little further down the hallway, stumbling slightly before her bag hit the floor and her back hit the wall behind her.
Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.
Mizuki wasn’t really there. Obviously, she was there physically, but mentally? She was spiraling so badly, she wasn’t aware of what she was doing.
She was completely on autopilot.
Everything was blurry.
She couldn’t feel anything. Not the slowly warming metal of the blade between her fingers, not the cold concrete beneath her, not the blood seeping into her bangs.
Bzzt.
Bzzt.
Mizuki froze.
Mizuki looked over at her phone.
2 Notifications: Suzuki hate club!!
She reached over for her phone, wincing as she did so.
Did Suzuki pin her that hard? She could barely move…
Group Messages:
Suzuki hate club!!
Akito Shinonome: Akiyama where are you?
Akito Shinonome: Toya said you went to your locker and didn’t come back
Mizuki exhaled shakily.
Four people were typing.
Four people had her location now.
Four people were going to find her like this.
Bzzt.
Bzzt.
Bzzt.
Group Messages:
Suzuki hate club!!
Rui Kamishiro: Mizuki Akiyama.
Rui Kamishiro: @Mizuki Akiyama If you don’t answer me and Ena are going to find you
An Shiraishi: I think Suzuki probably got her
Akito Shinonome: Can I jump his ass
An Shiraishi: NO.
Ena Shinonome: @Mizuki Akiyama Following your location
Rui Kamishiro: I’m with her
Mizuki Akiyama: Donr wprry about it
Mizuki Akiyama: Seriously I’m fjne
Mizuki put her phone down next to her, leaving the group chat open.
Four people typing again.
Four people who were going to be disappointed in her.
Four people she dragged into her problems.
Four people who didn’t ask for that.
Four people who wouldn’t care if—
Fuck.
Footsteps.
Two sets of footsteps.
Never had Mizuki ever wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole just as badly as she did in that moment.
“Mizuki?”
Oh god.
Rui, go away.
Go away, you don’t deserve this.
Not again.
“Mizuki, I know you’re back here…”
Ena might’ve sounded angry to someone who didn’t know her well.
She wasn’t angry.
She was scared.
Mizuki closed her eyes.
She didn’t want to see the looks she knew she was about to receive.
“Kamishiro-san.”
Fuck.
Ena saw her.
Oh god.
“Kamishiro-san, go get bandages.”
Rui nodded, tossing his bag somewhere near the wall before leaving to go find some bandages.
His footsteps stop fading for a moment, followed by very faint voices.
Distant in a literal sense, not just because Mizuki was dissociating.
Fuck.
She almost forgot about the other two.
“Mizuki!”
Ena sounded so worried.
Mizuki felt so terrible.
“Mizuki, say something. Please.”
It took much more effort than Mizuki expected to open her eyes.
Upon seeing Ena’s expression, Mizuki regretted it, too.
“Hey, Ena…”
Mizuki was startled by the sound of her own voice. She sounded so weak.
The other two sets of footsteps were getting closer.
Mizuki really wanted to run away.
Both sets of footsteps stopped.
“Oh my god…”
That was definitely An.
Akito stayed quiet.
Looking away from the two of them, Mizuki realized Ena was kneeling next to her.
God, she really didn’t deserve Ena.
“You’re bleeding. What did he do to you?”
“Um, hit my head… On my locker…”
Mizuki paused, panting. The adrenaline was wearing off, and she could feel the damage he had done.
“Akiyama…?”
Oh yeah. Akito was there. Mizuki forgot.
“Hm?”
“Where’d you get a blade…?”
Mizuki looked over at him.
He was staring at the blade in her hand.
“Suzuki. I think that’s how he cut my bandages off…”
Akito turned to An with a sigh. They exchanged looks.
“No.”
An didn’t even give him a chance to say anything.
“An, how did you—“
“I know that look, you are not jumping this guy.”
“You suck.”
“No, you suck. I’m not the one who likes men.”
“Now is not the time to accuse me of sucking dick—“
Ena looked over her shoulder, glaring at both of them.
“Can you two cut it the fuck out? God damn…”
Mizuki giggled at that. It made her chest hurt, but she didn’t really care.
Rui walked past An and Akito with a roll of bandages.
“Why are we talking about cutting and sucking dick?”
“Context clues, Kamishiro-senpai.”
An sighed, to which Akito immediately responded,
“There is absolutely no context to that.”
Rui shook his head, feigning disappointment as he sat down next to Mizuki, passing Ena the roll of bandages.
Ena sighed, wrapping bandages around Mizuki’s arm. Meanwhile, Rui looked over his shoulder, eyeing his bag.
“Can one of you grab the white box from the front pocket of my bag, please?”
Akito had been standing much closer to Rui’s bag, so he walked a couple steps closer and grabbed the box. Passing it over to Rui, he asked the obvious question.
“What’s in it?”
Rui didn’t respond, just opened the box and held it up. Bandaids, Neosporin, butterfly strips, the sorts. Just a regular first aid kit.
Oh, and an Altoids box.
Considering what he knew about Rui, there were definitely not mints in it.
“Are you done?”
Rui’s words brought his train of thought to a screeching halt.
“Done with…?”
The guy was observant, Akito had to give him that.
“Staring. Judging.”
Rui’s tone lacked any hostility, which was intentional, yet he still managed to get on Akito’s nerves somehow.
“You know that’s not—“
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
Mizuki gave a halfhearted glare at the two of them before sighing.
“My head hurts.”
“You probably have a concussion, you know.”
Mizuki hummed, blinking slowly as she considered the theory. She didn’t say anything for a good minute.
“‘Cut deeper, filthy whore.’ That’s all I remember.”
The silence continued for a solid ten seconds, as if the four other people in the room needed time for that to sink in.
“He called you a what?”
Ena was the first to respond, and boy, did she look pissed.
So were An, Akito, and Rui, but Ena was objectively the scariest when she was angry. Akito was in close second to Ena, probably because they were siblings and acted very similar, whether they liked it or not.
“Filthy whore. He said worse, though, I just can’t remember what…”
Mizuki sighed, mentally replaying the whole incident.
Why couldn’t she remember?
“Amnesia suggests at least a grade two concussion.”
Mizuki just nodded, she was far too deep in her own thoughts to muster anything else. Everything else faded into the background, becoming nothing more than white noise as she replayed the same moment over and over and over.
What did he say?
Why couldn’t she remember?
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
That’s all she could hear.
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.
Fuck, she doesn’t want to remember anymore.
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
Nonononono.
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
Four people who wouldn’t care if she died.
She still had the blade, right?
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
She was probably staring at it by now.
“Cut deeper this time, filthy whore.”
Maybe if she were quick enough, she could—
What?
Why would she do that to them?
Four people who wouldn’t care if she died.
She should’ve cut deeper this time.
What was she doing?
“Mizuki, no—“
Was she imagining the thumbs swiping beneath her eyes?
They didn’t feel real.
Who’s hand was on her wrist?
Where did the blade go?
Who took it?
She couldn’t see.
Why was she crying?
Oh god, she didn’t try anything, did she?
“Huh…?”
Why didn’t anything feel real?
Right.
Rui was on her right, Ena was on her left.
Rui’s hand was on her wrist, so Ena was wiping her tears.
Oh no.
Rui was passing An the blade.
One hand to pass the blade, one hand to hold her wrist because Rui didn’t trust her.
With a shaky breath, Mizuki looked over at Ena.
“I didn’t actually do anything, right? I was just thinking about it…”
Not a single language harbored a word that could describe the look in Ena’s eyes, nor the guilt that look brought Mizuki.
“Mizuki…”
Ena’s voice was breaking, her eyes tearing up as she watched Mizuki slowly glance down at her wrist.
Rui hadn’t let go yet.
Blinking through boiling tears, Mizuki sniffled quietly.
“Rui, let go of me.”
Mizuki didn’t have the guts to make eye contact with him. She was already going to lose sleep over the look she got from Ena, she didn’t want to make herself feel worse.
“Are you going to try to hurt yourself again?”
Why did he have to say it like that?
“It’s not like I can.”
Mizuki sighed, staring at the ground.
“And it’s not like I meant to, I… I just…”
Mizuki didn’t make it through that sentence before she broke down sobbing.
She doesn’t deserve Rui, or Ena.
She doesn’t deserve anyone.
They’d be better off without her.
They wanted her gone.
Why did they stay?
Why would anyone stay with someone like Mizuki?
Mizuki knew, deep down, none of that was true.
Unfortunately , knowing those things weren’t true did nothing to stop her brain from thinking them.
“Mizuki.”
Amidst the absolute disaster that was Mizuki’s mental state, Ena’s voice hardly sounded real. Mizuki easily could’ve written the distant sound off as a figment of her own imagination— in fact, she almost did.
“Mizuki. Come here.”
Mizuki couldn’t really move, due to the residual pain from being slammed against her locker. Ena, upon realizing this, moved closer so Mizuki didn’t have to, and wrapped her arms around her.
Mizuki buried her tear-dampened face in Ena’s shoulder, clinging to Ena and sobbing unintelligible apologies as her tears slowly seeped into Ena’s uniform.
It took a few minutes, but Mizuki was finally pulling it together, wiping her tears off with her palm and fixing her bangs, which were stuck to her face.
Ena watched her quietly for a moment before breaking the silence.
“Hey, Kamishiro-san, can you pass me a bandaid?”
Rui nodded, passing Ena a small bandaid.
“Mizuki, hold your bangs back for a second.”
Mizuki pulled her bangs back, and Ena wiped the dried blood off her forehead before putting the bandaid over the cut from her head hitting the locker.
“There.”
Ena chirped, wiping the last bit of blood off Mizuki’s face with a bit of scrap bandage.
“Thanks…”
Mizuki eventually responded, voice slightly raspy from crying.
She doesn’t deserve Ena.
Mizuki forced that thought to the very back corner of her mind, she was not about to start crying again.
Rui stood up, and Ena followed a moment later before holding her hand out to Mizuki.
Mizuki glanced up at Ena, over to Rui for a moment, then back to Ena.
“You two are evil, taking me to the ER twice in twenty-four hours.”
Mizuki sighed, reluctantly letting Ena pull her onto her feet— mostly because Mizuki was way too weak to stand up on her own at the moment.
Actually, Mizuki stumbled a little bit once she was upright anyway, so the only real difference between this and Mizuki standing up on her own was that if Mizuki fell over, Ena was ready to catch her.
“Careful…”
Mizuki let out a half-hearted scoff at Ena’s warning, eventually regaining her stability.
She should eat something later.
The plan that the five teenagers decided on was as follows: Rui, Ena, and Mizuki would go ahead to the ER, while Akito and An would walk back to the Shinonome’s house and grab some spare clothes for Mizuki and Ena. Rui didn’t get blood on his clothes, considering he wasn’t that close to Mizuki.
Coincidentally, they sat down in the same order they had sat in the hallway earlier— Ena on the left, Mizuki in the middle, and Rui on the right.
Mizuki sat and stared at her phone for barely a few minutes before yawning, nestling her head against Ena’s shoulder. Another couple minutes ticked by, and Mizuki was out cold.
Damn, she must’ve been exhausted, Ena thought.
Group Messages:
Suzuki hate club!!
Rui Kamishiro: <1 attachment >
Ena Shinonome:
Rui Kamishiro: She did this yesterday too, actually
An Shiraishi: AWW
Akito Shinonome: You guys are gonna wake her up spamming here :sob:
Rui Kamishiro: She slept through an angry phone call from an angry Shinonome, I don’t think she’ll wake up from this
Ena Shinonome: I took her phone and put it on dnd anyway :p
Akito Shinonome: Not surprising
Ena Shinonome: ???
Direct Messages:
Akito Shinonome: Mizuki’s the same clothing size as you, right?
Ena Shinonome: Hiw the fuck are yuo home already??
Ena Shinonome: And yes, we’re roughly tje same sizr
Akito Shinonome: Not there yet, we’re a block away rn
Akito Shinonome: Are you good??
Ena Shinonome: sorry, typong with my left hsnd
Akito Shinonome: WOAH
Ena Shinonome: Mizuki’s asleep on my right arm you disgusting freak
Ena Shinonome: I hope you forget to look both ways before you cross the street what the fuck
Akito Shinonome: Damn that’s kinda mean
Akito Shinonome: <1 attachment >
Akito Shinonome: This good for both of you?
Ena Shinonome: Yeah, grab a baggy sweater and that’ll be perfect
Ena Shinonome: Thanks
Akito Shinonome: Done, heading back to the station now
Akito Shinonome: Also
Akito Shinonome: Mom asked who you were with and I told her you were with Akiyama
Akito Shinonome: She said “Oh, the other pink haired girl?” and I said yeah
Akito Shinonome: She said you have “a type” :sob: :sob:
Ena Shinonome: HELLO??
Ena Shinonome: WHAT
Ena Shinonome: THE FUCK
Akito Shinonome: LMFAO
Ena Shinonome took a screenshot.
Direct Messages:
Ena Shinonome: <1 attachment >
Ena Shinonome: WHAT THE FUCK
Rui Kamishiro: Oh my god.
Ena Shinonome: WHAT DO I SAY??
Rui Kamishiro: Depends if the allegations are true.
Ena Shinonome: YOU’RE NOT HELPING
Ena put her phone on ‘do not disturb’ and opened up Instagram in hopes of calming herself down. It didn’t help much, but it was better than going insane without a distraction.
Said distraction didn’t last for longer than 15 minutes, though, since her doomscrolling session was interrupted by a soft whisper.
“Shinonome-san?”
Ena glanced over to her right, past the sleeping Mizuki clinging to her arm.
“Yeah?”
Ena whispered back, watching Rui’s eyes flick over to Mizuki before meeting Ena’s again.
“Our stop is next, do you mind waking her up…?”
Ena’s gaze lingers on the pink haired girl for a moment before she reluctantly nods, nudging Mizuki gently.
“Mizuki… C’mon, wake up, our stop is next…”
Mizuki groaned, nuzzling closer to Ena.
“Mmm… no… You’re too comfy…”
With a sigh, Ena looked over at Rui, her expression a silent plea for help. He shook Mizuki a little harder, continuing until she finally lifted her head off Ena’s shoulder. Unsurprisingly, she side-eyed Rui for a moment before picking up her bag.
“Hey, where’s my phone…?”
Ena fished through her own bag for a moment before holding Mizuki’s phone.
“The group chat was getting spammed and I didn’t want it to wake you up, so I’ve been holding onto it while you were asleep.”
Mizuki smiled softly, taking her phone from the other girl’s hand and checking her notifications.
“How considerate of you, Enanan~”
Mizuki teased, and Rui could’ve sworn he saw Ena blush a little bit— not that he says anything about it, though.
Not yet, anyways.
Roughly five minutes passed of the three teenagers sitting in silence on their phones before the train finally reached the station, coming to a halt.
As Mizuki stood up, the corners of her vision faded into black just as they had earlier, so she paid them no mind. As the three stepped out of the station, Ena looked around before speaking.
“Hey, I recognize this area. There’s this new diner nearby, we should go there after this, it’d be fun!”
Rui seemed to ponder for a moment before responding,
“That does sound nice, actually. I’m assuming you’re planning on inviting Shiraishi-kun and your brother, yes?”
“It would be rude not to. Considering they’re already doing Mizuki and I the favor of getting us clean clothes to change into, we kind of owe them one for that.”
Ena glanced over at Mizuki as she spoke.
“What do you think?”
Mizuki took a little longer to form a response than she had intended. She was having trouble finding her words, which she attributed to having just woken up from a nap.
“Yeah, that sounds great…”
Ena continued talking as the three of them grew closer to the ER entrance, but Mizuki couldn’t understand most of what she said, everything just sounded like jumbled noise. Furthermore, the fuzzy dark spots from the corners of her vision were expanding, sheathing more and more of her vision.
The entrance to the ER had about four or five steps, and by the fifth one, Mizuki was falling behind Rui and Ena. Despite this, she carried on, ignoring the dark spots in her vision until they were all Mizuki could see.
A couple moments later, by the time Mizuki had caught up with them, she was unbearably dizzy, tripping over her own two feet.
“Hey, uhm…”
Mizuki murmured hesitantly, hoping at least one of her friends would turn around. She couldn’t actually see them though, so she was just assuming that they heard her. Mizuki wasn’t sure if she was still walking or not, she couldn’t feel the ground beneath her feet or… anything, actually.
She couldn’t feel anything.
That’s not good, is it?
That was the last thing that crossed her mind before she collapsed.