Chapter 3
Tuesday : 14:22
Direct Messages:
Mizuki Akiyama: Hey.
Mizuki Akiyama: Do you have supplementary classes today?
Rui Kamishiro: I do, why?
Mizuki Akiyama: Nothing serious, we just need to talk.
Rui Kamishiro: Ah, ok.
Rui Kamishiro: Normal spot?
Mizuki Akiyama: Alright, cya then.
Rui Kamishiro: Cya.
Mizuki sighs, staring at the ground.
“Nothing serious.”
In other words, “My forearm is currently being held together with butterfly strips, bandages, and a dream, no biggie!”
Just the thought of talking about it made Mizuki feel guilty. She had been doing so much better, clean for almost 3 years, and threw it all out the window over what, her ex friends talking shit about her? God, she’s pathetic. Mizuki turns her phone back on, going back to the Messages app.
Direct Messages:
Mizuki Akiyama: I lied
Mizuki Akiyama: It’s actually kinda serious
Rui Kamishiro: Figured.
“What’s serious?”
Mizuki jumped a little in her seat.
“Stop jumpscaring me An, what the fuck?”
Mizuki didn’t realize the two boys standing behind An until after semi-yelling at her.
“And it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
Mizuki put her phone face-down on the desk, glancing back at An, who had her signature shit-stirring grin.
“Is it about who I think it is…?”
Mizuki shot her a glare, nodding subtly towards a confused Akito.
“No.”
“Really~?”
An teased, unconvinced.
“An, no.”
The blue haired girl sighed dramatically, dropping the teasing tone in her voice.
“Seriously though, I can tell something’s wrong. I’d stay and talk, but we have to go pick up Kohane for practice. Text me later?”
Mizuki nodded, waving to the three just before they walked away.
“‘Kay, bye!”
As soon as they were gone, Mizuki ran her fingers through her hair with a sigh. Leave it to An Shiraishi to almost mention a crush in front of their little brother.
At least Toya saved her the embarrassment of mentioning her panic attack. To be fair, it’s entirely possible that he told one or both of them already, but that isn’t really like Toya. And if he did tell them, they were both excellent at pretending not to know.
Mizuki spent the majority of supplementary classes going around to all her teachers, collecting make-up work for what she missed over the past several weeks. She was pretty out of breath by the time 5 o’clock rolled around, but considering she hadn’t eaten much of anything since Saturday, that wasn’t surprising. By the time she made it all the way up the stairs to the rooftop, Rui was already waiting up there.
Before even speaking a word, Mizuki just stood there, catching her breath.
“Loaded question, but have you been eating enough, Mizuki…?”
Oh, of course Rui figured that out in ten seconds, Mizuki thought to herself.
“Damn it… What gave it away…?”
She sighed, glancing over at him with embarrassment. There wasn’t anything inherently embarrassing about the situation, other than being read like a fucking book.
“You’re pale, you’re out of breath from a couple flights of stairs, which is pretty unusual for you, and you seem to have lost weight since the last time I saw you.”
Having finally regained her stamina, Mizuki chuckled, rolling her eyes.
“I’m not intentionally not eating, I just… get sick when I eat. Bad memories, y’know?”
“From the festival?”
“Yeah…”
Mizuki sighed, walking over to the same fence Rui was leaning against. She pressed her forehead against the cool metal wires, paying no mind to the static ruffling her bangs.
“I had, um… tried to tell Ena everything. A couple guys I knew from middle school got here before I did and started asking her if she was a guy too. Shit like that, calling me a guy, and—“
Mizuki grasped the wires on the fence, doing everything she could to stay grounded and maybe, maybe not panic.
“So… I relapsed after that. A couple times, actually. It started out pretty small, but it got kinda bad…”
She hated this conversation. Every time Mizuki relapsed, she’d tell herself that this discussion would get easier, and despite knowing she was lying to herself, she’d get so disappointed when it didn’t.
“It’s unbelievably pathetic, now that I think about it. You’d think if I really wanted to disappear, I’d use something normal, not broken glass. I just passed out a couple times, put butterfly strips and bandages on it, and pretended nothing happened. It’s probably infected now, because I was too busy wallowing in self pity for the next two weeks to even bother changing the bandages…”
Staring off into the sunset, Mizuki leaned against the fence and prayed he wouldn’t ask to see her arm. Realistically, she knew it was completely pointless, but she held out hope nonetheless. She glanced over at Rui, who just looked so concerned, it made Mizuki want to cry again. She felt horrible, this was all her fault and she was dragging him into it for no good reason whatsoever.
She couldn’t back out now, either. A moment passed, the only audible sound coming from the distant 5 o’clock traffic. Hesitantly, Rui eventually broke the silence.
“Can I look at it?”
Mizuki nodded, pulling her sleeve up as she stepped a little closer to him. The bandage got stuck on the start of the wound up by her wrist, causing her to wince a little as she peeled it off. Just as she expected, it looked worse than this morning, which was consistent with infection. In a Mizuki-typical attempt to fill the awkward silence, she kept talking.
“All I’ve been doing is keeping it dry, I just started changing the bandages a couple days ago… All I know about cuts that deep is that you don’t usually wash them because they’re prone to infection and whatever.”
“Mizuki, how deep did you even cut here…?”
Rui asked, gently touching the skin around the wound, checking how bad the inflammation was. Unsurprisingly, it was pretty bad. Mizuki, however, didn’t notice him touching her arm, as she was trying to remember what the wound initially looked like.
“Uhh… Definitely past beans, that’s all I remember. And that it bled a lot, I passed out twice afterwards.”
Mizuki eventually answered, to which Rui sighed.
“I think you nicked a vein, so that tracks…”
He picked up the end of the bandage dangling off her upper arm, and started wrapping the bandage back around her arm.
“When’s the last time you ate?”
Mizuki. froze, giving him a sheepish look.
“Saturday…?”
“Jesus, Mizuki…”
Rui tucks in the end of the bandage, and rolls down the sleeve of Mizuki’s sweater over it.
“Text your parents and tell them we’re at my house, and that you’ll be home later, okay?”
Mizuki stares blankly at him, confused.
“Okay…? Why?”
“I’m taking you to the ER to get your arm checked out.”
Fuck.
Mizuki’s heart rate immediately began picking up speed, and she immediately started backpedaling.
“No, I think I’ll be fine, really—!”
She insisted, anxiety seeping into her tone as she attempted to sway his verdict. To nobody’s surprise, it didn’t work.
“Nope, you need stitches. Not up for debate. Come on.”
After a bit more of her fruitless protesting, Mizuki eventually caved, following Rui back to the stairwell.
“Fine…”