Nearly

When Harry and his friends make their way up to the ground floor on Saturday morning and the magnitude of the storm outside becomes clear to them, Harry is happy for his quidditch ban for the first time. Not only is the wind howling and shaking the window panes around the Entrance Hall, but fat drops of rain whip against the glass and in the distance they hear the low grumbling of approaching thunder. 

The Slytherin quidditch team looks particularly smug when Harry joins them at the table in the Great Hall, Marcus Flint shooting malicious looks over at Wood at the next table and receiving murderous glares back. Draco is the only player who seems disinterested in the whole affair. Which is rather typical when he’s the reason behind the controversy, Harry thinks fondly and hides a smile behind a piece of toast. 

As the Hufflepuff team enter the Great Hall and take their seats at the table at the far end of the hall, Daphne and Pansy suddenly start squirming in their seats, trying to get a better look and then erupt in a random peal of shrill giggles. Harry frowns, wondering when these two developed an interest in quidditch… Looking over at the hufflepuff table, he immediately spots a new player.

”Cedric Diggory”, Flint says with grin. ”Hufflepuff’s new team captain and Seeker… Look at Wood’s face, just look at it—!”

”He’s dreamy”, Daphne mutters and then starts giggling with Pansy again. 

”Who, Wood?” Flint says incredulously. 

”No, Diggory!” Pansy squeals. 

Harry catches Draco glance over at the hufflepuff fifth-year as well and then immediately begin blush. 

”What’s so dreamy about him”, Harry scoffs, pretending not to notice Draco’s blush intensifying in his peripheral. ”He looks rather ordinary to me!”

”Who cares”, Flint says. ”He’s a great Seeker. Gryffindor is going to get slaughtered—!”

”You won’t be so happy about his skills when we have to play them”, Pucey mutters. 

”We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it”, Flint says, but his grin quickly shrinks away and he sends Harry a glare. 

Ducking his head, Harry pretends not to notice and concentrates on finishing his breakfast and by the time he does, the blanket of clouds in the enchanted ceiling is almost black and flashing with sporadic bolts of lightening. 

It’s really a testament to the game’s popularity when the whole school make their way across the lawn towards the quidditch pitch to watch despite the weather. Harry almost considers staying inside and study the Marauder’s map some more instead, but figures it wouldn’t be much fun with everyone but Filch and Mrs Norris out of the castle anyway… And he really is excited to see the game. Despite his earlier words about the new Hufflepuff captain, he’s curious to see just how good of a Seeker he is and he always enjoys watches the Weasley twins play, their twin senses making them eerily in sync with each other in a way that Harry’s never seen with two other players, not even professional ones. 

When he takes a seat in the Slytherin part of the stands however, it becomes clear that he won’t be able to see much of the game at all… His rickety umbrella is no match for the heavy rain that now seems to be coming from all direction thanks to the wind and splashes over his glasses no matter how he positions his head or shields them with his hand and when the players walk out onto the pitch all he can see are red  blurry dots on one side and yellow on the other — and they’re not even flying yet! — with an annoyed huff, he sits back and glares unseeingly at the blur of movement that is the game. 

Gryffindor is the lead with fifty points when one of the yellow blurs suddenly shoots across the pitch like a crazed canary and within seconds the game is over; Cedric Diggory has caught the Snitch and Hufflepuff wins the game. 

There is an awkward bumping of umbrellas as everyone gets up to make their way down from the stands and back to the castle again. Harry remains seated for a moment, waiting for the others to go ahead, not wanting to accidentally take someone’s eye out… 

”Harry, you coming?” Seamus shouts over the storm. 

Next to him, Draco instinctively looks over his shoulder and Harry’s stomach flips over as he finds himself in the crossfire of those familiar grey eyes — silver now as another flash of lightening erupts around them — the other boy’s hair is a darker shade of blonde and plastered to his face, and tendrils of rain water are trailing down the sides of his face, making him glow… The moment only lasts for a second at most, but Harry is still getting his breathing back under control when he joins Seamus on the stairs and Draco has disappeared into the gloom below. 

It can’t be normal, Harry thinks as he lies awake in bed later that night and the image keeps flickering back into his mind’s eye, making him fluttery and frustrated in equal measures. It can’t be normal to be this easily affected by another person… And not by anything they’ve done either, but just the sight of them, just knowing that they’re sleeping in a bed on the other side of the room… Harry turns over and readjusts his pillow under his head, trying to find a position that will help him fall asleep, but apparently his mind has other ideas… Conjuring up silver eyes glittering in the dim light from the green lantern next to his bed… Dark blonde tendrils of wet hair that’s suddenly dry when Harry imagines combing his fingers through it… A flutter of eyelashes… Shallow breaths hitting his top lip in small gusts of tickling warmth as the other boy’s face floats closer and closer… 

The fluttery warmth in Harry’s belly trickles down and pools in his sternum and he rolls over on his stomach and groans into his pillow. 

”For fuck’s sake, Harry”, Seamus sleep-gravelly voice mutters from the bed next to his. ”Go to sleep already…”

”Shut up, Seamus”, Harry grouses. 

He pulls the pillow out from under his head and puts it on top of it instead, muffling some of the churning of the waves outside the window and whatever expletive his friend fires back at him. 

He finally drifts off to sleep, only to dream about rain-wet kisses in thunderstorms and long, slender fingers gripping him through damp robes… Like uncomfortably damp robes… And when he wakes up again in the morning, he realises why… He fumbles blindly for his wand on the nightstand outside the bed hangings and tries to clean up the damp stain on his pyjama bottoms where they’re sticking to his front. He only learned the Tergeo charm a few lessons ago, so it takes him a couple of tries before he gets it right. 

At breakfast Hedwig comes swooping down to land on his shoulder and he beams at her, taking a moment to pet her head and feed her a piece of bacon before untying the note on her leg. He immediately recognises his daddy’s swirly handwriting and perks up further. 

Harry, 

Just wanted to drop you a line to say I’m feeling much better and 

intend to return to the castle this afternoon, but seeing as it is a

Hogsmeade weekend, your dad and I thought you might want to  

come by the house and have lunch with us? 

Love, 

Remus

Looking up to share the good news with his friends, Harry accidentally locks eyes with Draco who immediately startles and looks down with a blush, but that doesn’t diminish Harry’s exhilaration at all, if anything it enhances it — Draco was looking at me! And he’s eating breakfast! — Harry grins and turns to Seamus. 

”Hey, my daddy is better”, he tells him. 

”Awesome! So he’ll be back to teaching tomorrow?”

”Yeah, I think so!”

When it’s time to go to Hogsmeade, Harry is one of the first students to queue up in front of Filch, more or less bouncing on his feet in excitement, much to Seamus and Blaise’s amusement. The three of them make the trek together, stopping by Honeydukes and Zonko’s before Harry waves goodbye to them outside the Three Broomsticks and makes his way to the other side of the small town. 

When the thatched roof of the now familiar little white house comes into view at the end of the winding road, Harry breaks out into a run. 

As if sensing his approaching presence, Sirius and Remus steps out of the front door to great him inside the small gate and Harry launches himself at Remus first and hugs him tightly. He realises too late that his daddy might still be in pain and quickly looses his grip again and stammers out an apology, but Remus just pulls him back in and tightens the embrace even further before burying his nose in his favourite spot on Harry’s neck to inhale deeply. Harry smiles happily. 

He feels Sirius fingers card through his hair and reluctantly lets go of his daddy so that he can give his other dad a hug as well, then finally he bends down to scoop Selina into his arms after one particularly insistent head bump to his shin. 

”Come on, we made your favourite…” Remus says and leads the way back inside the house. 

”How are you feeling, daddy?” Harry asks apprehensively as they take their seats around the kitchen table. ”I was going to visit you, but Professor Snape told me you weren’t at the school…”

If Remus feels bad for keeping this information from Harry he doesn’t show it and he doesn’t apologise either, just smiles. Before Harry can prod him any more, Sirius smoothly changes the subject and asks him about school. Harry shrugs and lists off his subjects and how he’s doing, explaining about Divination and Care of Magical Creatures being definite Os. 

Remus is frowning by the time he’s finished describing his new tactic for getting through a Divination lesson and giving them both an example of a particularly gruesome death that he came up with recently, but Sirius just snickers and shakes his head. 

”Oh, what?” he tells his husband. ”It’s just Divination, it’s all hokum anyway!”

Remus refrains from retorting, but the frown stays etched on his face until Harry changes the subject and tells him the class can’t wait to have him back and that they’re less than impressed with Snape filling in for him. 

”Hah!” Sirius mutters almost triumphantly. 

”Professor Snape is a very good teacher”, Remus says and shoots his husband a stern look. 

”Yeah”, Harry agrees. ”Not as good as you at DADA though, and also he gave us a really hard homework assignment and people were not happy about that…”

”He set you an essay?” Remus says in surprise. 

”Yeah, two rolls”, Harry says and shakes his head. ”I haven’t even started mine yet, it’s going to take me all night…”

”Harry”, Sirius says, giving him an affronted look. ”Your daddy will be back at work tomorrow, you don’t need to write the essay!”

Harry glances over at Remus uncertainly. The other man looks decidedly torn, obviously not too keen on going against something another teacher has said. 

”Was the essay on Hinkypunks…?”

”No, that’s the thing!” Harry says with a grin. ”That’s the other reason people were so miffed, because he completely disregarded your syllabus even though Granger kept trying to tell him what we’d already covered and that we were meant to start on Hinkypunks, but he wouldn’t hear any of it—!”

”Git”, Sirius mutters, but is ignored by both his son and husband, who frowns at Harry instead. 

”No? What did you cover instead?”

”Get this”, Harry says eagerly, stifling a snicker. ”He went straight to the last chapter! We spent the whole lesson talking about werewolves—!”

A sudden crash makes both Harry and Remus jump. They swiftly turn their heads to see Sirius wave his hand around with a muffled curse, blood and water dripping onto the table where the shards of the broken water glass lie glinting. Remus quickly whips his wand out and cleans up the mess before gently cradling his husband’s hand in his to tend to the wound. Sirius mutters something apologetically, but Remus just gives him a dismissive head shake. 

”I’ll talk to Severus, Harry”, he says without taking his eyes from the closing wound in Sirius hand. ”You don’t have to write that essay. Tell your friends too.”

”All right…” he mumbles, looking between his dads uncertainly. 

He’s still going to write the essay, he knows. The gryffindors might get away with disregarding Snape’s instructions with another teacher backing them up, but there’s no way the Potion Master will let his own slytherins get off that easily. But it’s okay, Harry figures. He’s got plenty of notes and with his handwriting getting worse and worse by the day, he’ll have no problem filling two rolls… 

After lunch, Harry spends a moment in his room just going through his things and soaking in the atmosphere. Selina joins him on the bed and they curl up together for a cuddle, until Remus appears in the open door with a gentle knock on the doorframe. 

”Time to go, pup…” he says with a smile. 

Harry nods and carefully removes the sleeping cat from his chest and puts her down on top of his pillow instead. 

”I’ll wait for you in the hall”, Remus says. 

”Be right there…”

Harry takes one last look at his things and is just about to leave when he catches sight of his Nimbus 2000 propped up against the side of the wardrobe. Glancing at the doorway quickly, he hops off the bed and walks over to it. Breath held, he picks it up and gingerly drags his fingers over the polished wood… The sense memory immediately kicks in and makes his stomach swoop… With another glance to the doorway, he shrinks the broom and sticks it into his waistband next to his wand and then hides them both under his jumper. 

He and Remus make their way to the castle together, meeting up with Harry’s friends on the way and they proceed to complain about the essay Snape set them, but when Remus tells them not to write it, they quickly glance at Harry and he can tell he won’t be the only slytherin to hand in that essay after all… 

He’s sitting hunched over it in front of the fireplace in the common room later that evening, halfway through the introduction when he comes across a passage in the textbook that states: ”Another term lycanthrope, often used to describe werewolves, however, refers to someone who suffers from a mental disease of fantasising being a wolf. This particular mental disorder is termed lycanthropy.”

”What…” Harry mutters. 

”The correct term for the Dark condition in which a person involuntarily turns into a fearsome and deadly near-wolf at the full moon, should therefore be described as werewolfry…” 

Huffing out an annoyed sigh, Harry reaches for his wand and starts correcting his essay, replacing the word ’lycanthropy’ with ’werewolfry’ while grumbling to himself the whole time. I’ve never even heard of werewolfry before, it sounds ridiculous…

He has just finished correcting and finishing up the introduction and is about to start listing off the usual tell tale signs of werewolfry when his mind begins to wander… He catches himself fantasising about using his new magical map to sneak out and take his Nimbus for a spin instead of finishing the essay, and that’s when he remembers that he completely forgot to ask his dads about daddy’s nickname… Never mind, he thinks. I’ll ask daddy about it tomorrow… 

Glancing at the clock, Harry groans. It’s already past midnight, and he’s still got most of the essay left to write… Okay, focus, he tells himself sternly and scans his notes… How to recognise a werewolf… Let’s see, let’s see…

He decides to divide his essay into two parts, one focusing on distinguishing the transformed werewolf from a regular wolf and one focusing on recognising the signs that a person is a werewolf, which is a lot easier to explain in writing so he starts with that… Well, first of all, he thinks, glancing at his notes — full moon, oh yeah, obviously — they transform once a month, so that’s an obvious sign… 

It shouldn’t take too long for the people in the werewolf’s life to notice that pattern, he figures… Which is why it’s hard for them to stay in one place for too long or keep a job, I know I’ve read that somewhere, he thinks and flicks through the pages of his textbook, scanning the words distractedly… 

”…They appear as normal humans, although they tend to age prematurely, most notably a greying of their human hair at a relatively young age, due to the difficult transformations or other traumas suffered in connection with it. They will also gain a pallor as the full moon approaches and then wanes, and often experience general exhaustion and ill health in the days preceding and succeeding the full moon”, Harry skims through the text, skipping for now the parts about what the werewolf is like while transformed.

”…This alone makes it difficult for a werewolf to live a normal life and keep regular working hours”, he reads and quickly grabs his quill to begin to write again… Premature ageing… Getting ill before and after the full moon —

Harry stops and stares at the words he’s just written, unaware of the ink blot growing out of the tip of the paused quill and slowly consuming the n in full moon…

”…They will also gain a pallor as the full moon approaches…”

”…General exhaustion and ill health…”

No, Harry thinks numbly, shaking his head. No, no, no, that’s just… Coincidence… Impossible… 

A growing pressure on his chest makes it harder and harder to breathe and he lets the quill flutter out of his hand and brings his hands up to rub his face — I’m just tired, I’m not thinking clearly, there’s just no way — He sucks in a shaky breath, releasing it again in a whoosh. 

He’s almost convinced himself that the whole idea is just bizarre, when a very unbidden memory suddenly floats to the forefront of his mind… Their first DADA lesson of the year; the Boggart landing right in front of him and quickly swirling into a dark mass, a shadowed figure with red eyes, and all Harry could do was stare at it in fear, when suddenly his daddy jumped in front of him and the Boggart instantly reshaped itself again… It had taken the form of a glowing white orb… Harry hadn’t understood it at the time and he’d meant to ask his daddy about it afterwards but he never did… Glowing white orb… The full moon…

It’s like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle slides into place before his eyes, except he doesn’t want it there. But the picture is there now, glaringly clear in front of his face and there is no way to unsee it.  Suddenly it all makes sense. His daddy’s condition as both his dads has described it, getting ill on a regular basis…

Harry’s mind flashes to his daddy’s pale skin and the dark circles around the eyes; his greying hair next to dad’s black locks when the two embrace each other; the thin scars on his neck and arms that Harry always assumed were relics of some dangerous career he had before they got Harry… But thinking about it now, it makes more sense for them be from self-inflicted wounds… Scratch wounds… Claws…

Feeling nauseous, Harry buries his head in his arms and concentrates on taking deep breaths… In… Out… In… Out…

Merlin, why did it have to be this? Any other condition would be better, literally any other!

Harry remembers his daddy telling him he’s had his condition since he was a boy and feels a stab of pain thinking about all those months, all the transformations, how scared he must have been, how lonely… Collecting himself, Harry reaches for the textbook again in determination and continues reading:

”…Although the biggest challenge for the werewolf is of course dealing with the extreme stigma surrounding werewolfry… Werewolves are generally regarded with fear and disgust by wizarding society and people seem to think even when in human form, the werewolf may pose a danger. It is not uncommon for people known to be werewolves to be shunned by society and discriminated against… Because of the difficulty in finding a job and having to resign and move on before their colleagues start to suspect them, most werewolves live in poverty… Few have married and had children—”

The words finally become too blurry for Harry to make out and he slams the book shut again, sniffling pitifully as he wipes his sleeve over his eyes… It’s not fair, he thinks miserably. His daddy is the kindest person he knows, it’s just not fair…

Finally deciding that he can’t stomach any more, Harry gathers up his things and heads for the dorm and curls up in his bed but it’s a long time before manages to fall into a fitful slumber and when he wakes up again a few hours later, he feels like he hasn’t slept at all. 

Even though Harry had seen his daddy only the day before and his appearance had hardly altered since then, Harry is still struck by how loosely the man’s robes are hanging off his frame and how dark the shadows under his eyes are when he walks into the Defence classroom and has to fight a bizarre but strong impulse to turn back around and run away. 

”Wow, he really looks like he’s been ill…” he hears a Gryffindor whisper and slams down his book-bag on the desk a little harder than necessary, causing several students to startle and give him odd looks. 

The majority of the class, mainly the gryffindors, immediately burst into a chorus of complaints about Snape’s behaviour while filling in as DADA teacher and setting them such a difficult homework assignment, but Remus smiles gently and gestures for silence. 

”Don’t worry. I have already spoken to Professor Snape. You don’t need to do the essay. All right?”

There’s a murmur of relief and appreciation amongst the students and Remus smile grows. 

”Good… Now, I believe we were about to get started on Hinkypunks…”

He flicks his wand and a glass box containing what first appears to be a small cloud, or a wisp of smoke comes floating out of his office and lands on top of the teacher’s desk. On closer inspection, they can make out a pair of pale yellow eyes, a spindly leg and a frail-looking hand clutching a small lantern. 

”Hinkypunks like to lure travellers into bogs”, Remus says. ”They hop ahead of them in the mist and the traveller will follow the light from the lantern, you see—?”

The rest of the lesson continues in the same fashion and everyone is excited to go up to the glass box and study Hinkypunk more closely, but Harry is hardly even aware of anything that goes on around him, taking notes on auto-pilot and not raising his hand a single time… As the bell rings, Remus asks him to stay behind and for the first time ever, Harry wishes he would just let him be… He doesn’t know what to think about everything he’s just found out, let alone what to say… 

Remus approaches him and puts a gentle hand on his shoulder, then ducks his head and peers into his face with a worried frown. Harry instinctively looks down, unable to meet his daddy’s eyes. 

”Anything the matter, Harry?”

”No…” Harry lies. ”I’m just tired. Didn’t get much sleep.”

”Okay…” 

The hand on his shoulder squeezes him briefly before falling away. Despite everything, Harry finds himself immediately missing the warmth. 

”Did you… Did you write the essay after all…?”

Harry debates with himself for a second, but in the end he decides to lie again and just shakes his head. 

”Okay…” Remus says again. ”Well… I’m here if you want to talk… About anything, okay?”

”Yeah”, Harry mutters. ”I know… I should go, I’m going to be late for Charms…”

He lets himself be hugged briefly, but quickly pulls away again and avoids his daddy’s probing gaze as he turns away and walks out of the classroom in a hurry. 

The rest of the day passes in a blur. Both Seamus and Blaise attempts to involve him in their conversation a couple of times and he tries to join in and act like normal, but something in his face must betray him because they eventually leave him alone. But even then, Harry feels claustrophobic… His own thoughts are tormenting him and he just wants to be alone and just breathe, but everywhere he turns he bumps into someone. 

Finally, as everyone is getting ready for bed, he makes up his mind… He waits until he thinks the others are all asleep, then grabs his wand. 

”Lumos…” he whispers and then digs out the Marauder’s map and unfolds it on the bed in front of him. ”I solemnly swear that I am up to no good…”

Grabbing his Nimbus from the hiding place under the fourposter bed, Harry puts on his boots and sneaks out of the dorm. Stopping at every corner to check the map to make sure the coast is clear and narrowingly dodging a run-in with The Bloody Baron, he slowly makes his way out of the dungeons and out into the cold night air.

He gently folds the map together and puts it in his inside pocket, then mounts his broom and kicks off. He zooms off towards the Forbidden Forest, pulling the broom into a sudden dive only to pull up again inches from the ground, feeling the familiar rush of adrenaline as he speeds up and turns around in a loop. 

After only a few minutes in the air, he already feels better… He’s still shaken up about everything, but for the first time in what feels like forever he doesn’t feel like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He keeps flying along the edge of the forest for about an hour and a half, judging by the movement of the waning gibbous moon over the night sky, before he decides to head back to the dorm. He lands smoothly on the lawn and moves stealthily towards the castle through the darkness, not daring to light his wand until he’s inside. 

Sliding the oak door open just a crack, Harry slithers inside as quietly and carefully as he can manage and is just about to unfold the Marauder’s map when the muffled but unmistakable sound of approaching footsteps reaches him. 

Frozen on the spot as though petrified, Harry stares at the closed door in front of him… For the longest second of his life he considers wrenching it open again and making a run for it, but before he can get his hands and feet to work, the footsteps come to an abrupt stop behind him and his heart freezes in his chest as he waits with bated breath…

”Harry Potter…”

The chill in his Head of House’s voice sends a shiver over Harry. He squeezes his eyes shut and sends a silent prayer to whatever powers might be at work in the Universe that the Potion Master will keep him alive long enough for Harry to come up with an explanation… Swallowing thickly, he turns around. 

Professor Snape’s face is almost entirely concealed in shadows, but there is no mistaking the trembling tension in the man’s shoulders and balled fists hanging at his sides. 

”S-Sir…” Harry mumbles. ”I was just…”

”I don’t want to hear it”, Snape snaps furiously. ”Come with me.”

The walk back to the dungeons is tense to say the least. Harry steals several glances at the professor’s face, but not once does the older man return the eye contact or acknowledge his presence at all, until they reach the door to his office when he tears open the door and impatiently gestures for Harry to enter first. 

”Sit down”, he says coldly as he strides past him and twirl around to face him from the other side of the desk. ”What’s that in your hand?”

Harry pauses with his butt an inch from the seat and glances between the broom in his right hand and the Marauder’s map in his left, feeling an almost detached spike of panic somewhere underneath the haze that seems to have enveloped him. 

”M-My broom…” he mumbles uncertainly. 

Snape narrows his eyes into tiny, unimpressed slits and Harry gulps. But before he can come up with anything else to say, the Potions Master has lunged forward and in one swift movement nipped the map from Harry’s fingers. 

”What is it?” he asks roughly after a thorough investigation of the parchment reveals nothing but stains and creases. 

”S- Spare bit of p-parchment”, Harry says in a small voice. 

”Indeed”, Snape murmurs. 

He turns swiftly towards the fireplace and without thinking about what he’s doing, Harry shoots to his feet and shouts ”NO—!”

Snape shoots him a withering glare, but doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t throw the map into the flames as Harry thought he would either, but instead reaches for the floo powder and tosses a handful onto the glowing embers, causing big, green flames to immediately roar to life. 

”Lupin!” he bellows at them. ”My office!”

As soon as he’s finished speaking, a large, revolving shape appears inside the flames and in the next moment, Harry daddy steps out of the fireplace looking particularly grim with soot on his face and ash stains on his robes. 

He takes one look at Harry and the Nimbus clutched in his hand and his whole face shutters. 

”I also confiscated this”, Snape says quietly and holds up the blank map. 

”What is it?” Remus asks, glancing at the parchment with a frown.

”I’m not sure yet…” Snape says and taps the map with his wand. ”Reveal your secrets…”

Nothing happens. 

Remus turns back to Harry. 

”Harry…”

”Show yourself!” Snape tells the map angrily with another jab of his wand.

”Daddy, I… I just…”

”Professor Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!… What the…”

Remus tears his eyes away from Harry again and looks over at the map again. To Harry’s horror, swirly writing has appeared on the parchment now, but it doesn’t look like it usually does… Harry cranes his neck and tries to get a better look… The old parchment crinkles in Snape’s trembling grip before he thrusts the whole thing into Remus’s hands and whirls around to pin Harry with a furious look. 

”What…?” Harry says breathlessly. ”Wh-what did it say…?”

”Both of you out of my office”, Snape snarls. ”Now!”

”What—?”

”Come on, Harry”, Remus says and clamps a hand down on his shoulder and steers him towards the door. 

As soon as the door shuts with a click behind them again, Remus tightens his grip on Harry’s shoulder and bends down to fix him with a stern look. 

”I don’t know how you got a hold of this map Harry, but you’re not having it back.” 

He straightens up again just as abruptly and lets go of Harry’s shoulder so quickly that Harry staggers a little. Then taking a deep breath to calm himself, Remus adds, ”Well, at least it will be easier to keep track of you from now on…”

Harry frowns. How did his daddy know that the parchment was a map? 

Heart thudding nervously in his chest, he licks his lips and finally asks the question that’s been nagging at him ever since he read the text at the top of the map. 

”Daddy… Did you…? Is that you?” he points to the map. ”It says Moony… Are you one of the Marauders?”

Several emotions flicker past the older man’s face as he stares down at Harry. Finally he heaves a great sigh and looks away. 

”Come on, let’s go talk in my office…”

As soon as they’re inside the DADA office, Remus sinks down heavily in the seat behind his desk. 

”Sit down, Harry…” he says quietly. 

Harry quickly drops down to the edge of the chair opposite and waits with bated breath as his daddy composes himself and then finally begins to speak… Just as Harry had suspected, Moony had been his daddy’s nickname when he was in school and — Remus considers Harry’s face carefully for a moment as he weighs his words — tells him that he and his three best friends started calling themselves The Marauders, and the map was one of many extracurricular things they accomplished during their time at Hogwarts… 

”And… And dad…?” Harry asks quietly. 

”Your dad was Padfoot”, Remus says with a small smile. ”James was Prongs…”

Harry frowns. These nicknames are weird… 

”And…” Remus adds with another heavy sigh. ”Wormtail was… A boy named Peter… Peter Pettigrew.”

”What happened to him?” Harry asks cautiously. ”You and dad’s never mentioned him…”

”No, we… We’re no longer friends”, Remus says evasively and looks away. ”Look, Harry… All of this — The Marauders — It was all just… Childish stuff, really… Don’t get me wrong, we had some good times together, like any teenagers, but we did break our fair share of school rules. Well, your dad and James did, anyway… But I probably should have made more of an effort to stop them, to be honest. I’m not proud of… Some of the things we did back then…”

Harry frowns and squirms uncomfortably in his seat… He makes it sound like they did awful things, he thinks. Like they were criminals or something… But they were just kids… How bad could it be?

”Your dad on the other hand”, Remus mutters. ”Well, I think he feels differently — He’s always been a bit of a rebel —”

Harry smiles despite himself and Remus returns it wryly. 

”—But I don’t want you to think that that makes it okay for you to disregard the rules and what we tell you, Harry.”

”I don’t…” Harry mumbles and looks down, ashamed. 

”Your track record begs to differ.”

”I’m sorry…”

Remus nods, but doesn’t say anything else. They sit in silence for a while and Harry starts to feel really awful about the whole thing, but finally his daddy takes pity on him and, standing up again he moves around the desk to envelop Harry in one of his tight hugs and Harry gratefully burrows his face into the soft material of his jumper.  

Remus stays true to his word and confiscates the Marauder’s map from Harry, but he’s allowed to keep his Nimbus when he promises to only go flying in daylight from now on and not break curfew or any more school rules again. Harry eagerly agrees to the conditions, barely able to believe his luck and hugs his daddy again. 

”I’ll write you a note, in case you run in to Filch or Filius on your way back to the dungeons”, Remus says and starts looking through the mess on his desk for a spare bit of parchment. 

”Flitwick?” Harry says in confusion. 

”Professor Flitwick”, Remus clarifies. ”He’s on patrol duty tonight.”

”But, I thought… Snape…”

”Professor Snape wasn’t patrolling”, Remus says as he scribbles a short message on a piece of parchment. ”He was looking for you.”

”What? Why?”

”Because I asked him to…” Remus gives him a pinched smile. ”I wanted to make sure you were all right, so I asked Snape to check in on you… When he found your bed to be empty, we split up and started searching the castle for you. I was in a classroom on the fifth floor when the fireplace roared to life.”

”I’m sorry”, Harry mumbles again. 

Remus nods and hands him the note. 

”Good night, Harry…”

*

At the end of the school term, Harry joins his friends in one of the horseless carriages down to Hogsmeade and then waves goodbye to them as they make their way into the train station to board the Hogwarts Express to London, before making his way to the little white house at the outskirts of town. 

Sirius meets him at the gate as usual and they hug tightly, Harry curiously craning his neck to get a glimpse of Remus over his dad’s shoulder, but the doorway remains empty. 

”Where’s daddy?” he asks, pulling away from the other man’s embrace again. ”Is he not here yet? I didn’t see him at breakfast, so I thought he’d left early…”

”Let’s go inside, Harry…” Sirius says softly and clamps a hand down on his shoulder. 

”Where is he?” Harry asks again, looking around the hall and kitchen worriedly. ”He isn’t here yet?”

”No, he’s… He’s not going to be celebrating Christmas with us this year, Harry—” Sirius says. 

Harry whirls around and stares at his dad in alarm, ”What—!”

”Calm down, runt…”

”What do you mean he’s not celebrating Christmas with us?”

”Harry…”

”No! Where is he? I want to see him right now!”

”You can’t see him”, Sirius says and sinks down at the kitchen table with a sigh. ”Not right now. He’s… He’s ill—”

”Ill?” Harry echoes, his heart thudding faster and faster in his chest as his thoughts race through his head, It’s the full moon… I can’t believe I forgot to check the lunar calendar!

”But where is he?” he demands. ”He should be here, with us! I don’t care that he’s — that he’s ill — I just want him home! He should be at home, with us!”

”I know…” Sirius murmurs. ”I know, runt… But it’s just not possible right now. Your daddy — He’ll — He’ll explain everything to you when—”

”Don’t say when I’m older!” Harry snarls. 

”When he’s better”, Sirius counters calmly. 

Harry feels his eyes sting and quickly spins around and runs into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He throws himself on his bed and curls up with his face pressed into his pillow, muffling his sniffles and waiting for his dad to come find him… Except he doesn’t. He lets Harry be, and Harry should be grateful for that, but he isn’t. Daddy would never leave me alone when I’m upset, no matter how much I begged him to, or — or — or how much I yelled at him or — 

Harry chokes down another sob and punches the mattress next to his head. 

It’s not the first Christmas Harry has spent alone with his dad, but it’s the first time since he learned the truth about his daddy’s so-called business trips and it’s quite a different feeling to be sitting in front of the tree in the lounge thinking his daddy is off travelling, to thinking he’s ill and hurting and scared and lonely somewhere… 

He doesn’t know how his dads manage to be together when his daddy’s transforming, maybe that mysterious potion that Professor Snape brews for him helps somehow, all he knows is that they have found a way, so his daddy doesn’t actually have to go through his transformation alone. The only reason he is right now — on Christmas, no less — is because of Harry, and that makes him feel awful.

Sirius tip-toes around him the whole evening and it makes him feel even worse. Finally, as they finish their rice pudding on Christmas Day morning and move into the lounge to open presents, Harry swallows down a lump in his throat and says ”I don’t want to do this…” 

Sirius looks crestfallen and Harry quickly looks down to keep his resolve.

”Do you want to save the presents for when Remus gets back?”

”Yeah”, Harry mumbles. ”But I also want to go back to Hogwarts. Now.”

”Harry —!”

”I’ve made up my mind”, Harry insists. ”I want to go to Hogwarts. That way daddy can come home and be with you…”

A strangled grunt is all the warning Harry gets before he’s roughly pulled into a massive hug and lifted off his feet. He struggles against it half-heartedly for a couple of seconds, but quickly caves and buries his face in his dad’s neck. 

In the end, Harry decides to stay home for the remainder of the weekend after all, when Sirius tells him Remus will be home the next day regardless so it won’t change anything if Harry goes back to the castle now anyway. 

They do leave the presents unopened under the tree, though. 

Harry barely gets a wink of sleep that night, tossing and turning, thinking about his daddy all alone somewhere… At Hogwarts?… No, he can’t be at the castle, can he?… But where else can he be?… And as he drifts in and out of a fitful, half-doze, he is haunted by images of a lonely and frustrated wolf bumping between the trees of the Forbidden Forest, clawing at itself and howling at the full moon… 

He startles awake when something brushes the side of his face and immediately scrambles up to sit with his back against the headboard, fumbling blindly for his glasses on the nightstand as his dad’s low voice hushes him and rumbles at him to calm down. The warm hand finds its way back to Harry’s head and Harry instinctively relaxes at the familiar feel of fingers carding through his hair. 

”It’s still early, you can go back to sleep, I just wanted to let you know I’m going out for a bit…”

”What, why? Where?” Harry says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before putting his glasses on. 

”I’m just going to go pick your daddy up”, Sirius says. ”There’s breakfast on the table in case you wake up before we get back, okay?”

”I’m awake now”, Harry says. ”Can’t I come with you? Please?”

Sirius seems to hesitate for a second so Harry says please again, but only gets smile and a pat on his cheek in return.

”Get some more sleep.”

”I’m not even tired!”

”Then go have breakfast”, Sirius counters and stands up. ”I’ll be back with your daddy in twenty minutes, half an hour tops.”

It’s the longest half hour of Harry’s life. He takes one look at the breakfast spread under the stasis charm on the kitchen table and quickly decides to wait for his dads to get back before he eats anything. He does pour himself a cup of coffee though, just so he can feel a little less like death on legs and more like a person who’s slept at some point in their life… Cradling the warm mug in both hands, he starts pacing the floor of the small but cosy kitchen, glancing out the window every other minute to scan the sky for an approaching motorcycle, but the sky remains stubbornly white and empty.

Forty minutes into his wait, Harry glares at the big clock mounted on the wall above the doorway as if Time herself was to be blamed for his dads’ lateness, then walks right up to the kitchen counter and leans over the sink to get a really good look out the window, but still no sign of a motorcycle either in the sky or the road leading into town. 

A sudden crack in the hallway makes him jump and he splashes cold coffee over his hands as he wheels around and hurries across the kitchen. 

He stops in the doorway and stares as Sirius quickly pockets his wand in order to grab Remus’s hand where it lies limp over his shoulder, then readjusts his hold around the man’s thin waist and gently manoeuvres them both around and continues to support the other man’s weight against his side as they slowly make their way into lounge. 

Harry follows them and watches anxiously from the doorway as Sirius lowers his husband onto the sofa, where the other man slumps back against cushions with a weary sigh. 

Sirius leans down and places a soft kiss on the weak man’s lips and receives a small smile in return, then Remus gaze flickers over to Harry behind Sirius shoulder and his smile grows a little wider. 

”Harry, come here…” he says. 

Harry wants nothing more than to run and throw himself at his daddy, but he forces himself to walk slowly and calmly across the room. When he reaches the sofa, Remus grabs his hand and guides him to sit down next to him and Harry eagerly cuddles into his side. He can feel the man’s chapped lips brush his forehead in a gentle butterfly kiss before his nose dips into his hair and inhales his scent… How have I not reflected over that before? Harry thinks to himself and cuddles a little closer but careful not to hug his daddy too tightly. 

”I see a lot of unopened presents…” Remus murmurs, still nuzzling Harry’s face.

”Oh yeah… We completely forgot about those…” Sirius says lightly, gently prying the empty coffee cup from Harry’s hand before he takes a seat on the sofa on the other side of him.

Before long, Harry starts to drift off where he’s snuggled into his daddy’s embrace and only half-listening to his dads whispered conversation. 

”… It’s time, Moony…”

”… I know, I know that, but… Just not today…”

”… He knows something’s up already and it’s only going to get worse the longer we wait to tell him…”

”… I will talk to him, but can I please just have today with him… It’s Christmas—”

”— No, yesterday was Christmas, and I had to try and explain to Harry why his daddy wasn’t here to celebrate with him—!”

”… Please, Sirius…”

”… He’s going to ask you when he wakes up, and I think it’s time you give him an honest answer, that’s all I’m saying…”

But when Harry is gently shaken him awake and told it’s time to eat something, he doesn’t ask his dads anything because, like Remus, Harry just wants today to be normal. He just wants to forget about everything else going on in his life, his daddy being a werewolf and Draco being forced to stay away from him, all of it, and just enjoy a nice, lazy afternoon with his family… 

He accidentally overhears his dads whispering about it again as he’s packing up all his stuff before heading back to Hogwarts.  

”—Let’s just do it now and get it over with—”

”—No, I want to wait until I’m feeling better—”

”—You’re stalling. If we do it now, we can do it together. If you wait—”

”—I know, I know, but I’m not ready! Please, Sirius…”

Harry pretends not to have heard anything when he joins them out in the hallway, just returns their smiles like everything is peachy.

”Have you got everything?” Remus says and he nods. ”I’ll see you in a couple of days, then.”

He loops an arm around Harry’s neck and pulls him in for a quick nuzzle and peck on the forehead, before shuffling aside so that Sirius can get his goodbye hug as well. 

”Bye, pup”, he grumbles. ”See you soon…”

*

The spring term passes by in a sort haze. The Flobberworms they’ve spent most of the year tending in Care of Magical Creatures overdose on lettuce and die, finally forcing Hagrid to come up with another creature for them to study, but his heart really isn’t in it at all. Harry overhears Pansy telling Daphne that Lucius Malfoy’s complaint about the Hippogriff attack has been forwarded to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures and that there will be an official hearing in the spring. Harry feels a little bad for the creature, considering Draco did provoke it, but he isn’t that concerned about it. It could be a lot worse, he thinks as he gives the gamekeeper a sidelong glance. Hagrid could easily have lost his job, but obviously he didn’t. 

In Divination they begin to learn about palmistry and Professor Trelawny proceeds to inform Harry, loudly enough for the whole class to hear, that he has the shortest life line she has ever seen. 

”Yeah, that makes sense”, he says sombrely, playing along, to keep those Os coming. 

Professor Trelawny clutches her chest as she fixes her misty, magnified eyes on his. 

”Such courage… Oh, my dear boy, what a shame, what a loss… Five points to Slytherin!”

Harry looks over at Draco and catches him scowling at the professor and gives him a quick wink when he glances over. The blonde continues to scowl as he hurriedly looks back down at Pansy’s palm, but there’s a distinct hint of pink in his cheeks. 

The tension between himself and Draco remains unchanged, but Harry does catch the blonde staring a lot more lately which he is happy to store away under ’Progress’ and it makes it just a little bit easier to remain patient about the whole situation. Just a little bit. 

Harry spends most of his time hanging out with Seamus and Blaise, but Theodore has taken to join them more and more as Crabbe and Goyle’s maturity level and vocabulary seems to regress rather than the opposite. He’s also on friendly terms with the rest of the quidditch team, except for Flint who still seems to think Harry got himself banned from quidditch on purpose… And every so often he runs into the Weasley twins and catches up with them, but he hasn’t seen much of Ron since term started. The twins tell him their brother is in mourning over his rat Scabbers who apparently lost its life under very dramatic circumstances… Harry wouldn’t laugh at a story like this normally, but the way the twins recap what happened is just hilarious and by the end of it, Harry is clutching his side and wiping tears from his eyes. 

”The cat has had it in for Scabbers since the beginning of the year, or so Ron claims anyway!”

”Well, yeah — it’s a cat!” Harry says, still chuckling. 

”I reckon Ron’s onto something, though. That cat is way too smart—”

”—Think it might be a half-Kneazle?” the other twin suggests. 

”Well, tell Ron I send my condolences”, Harry says and gives the gryffindors a parting wave. 

”Will do, Harry—!”

”—And thanks again for winning us the Quidditch Cup—!”

Defence Against the Dark Arts continues to be Harry’s and most of his friends favourite subject, his daddy always managing to make the lessons fun and exciting, whether or not he’s managed to find a living specimen of what they’re studying. 

Seamus jokingly asks him one day if he plans to invite a couple of vampires and werewolf to class towards the end of the year and Harry watches his daddy’s face extra closely when he smiles in reply, but the joke genuinely doesn’t appear to have unsettled him at all. 

Harry keeps expecting him to ask him to stay behind after class and have the Talk with him, getting more and more anxious with every passing DADA lesson, but it never happens. If anything, his daddy almost seems to be avoiding his eyes and Harry remembers the whispered arguments he overheard between his dads during the holiday… 

Finally the Easter holidays rolls around, but piles upon piles of homework to do on top of revisions for the end-of-year exams, Harry barely gets a moment to relax at all and even has to decline his dads’ invitation to Easter Lunch. 

When they return to Divination after the holiday, they discover several crystal balls waiting for them. 

”The fates have informed me that your examination in June will concern the Orb”, says Professor Trelawny as she sits back in her high-backed armchair in front of the fire and sweeps her insect-like eyes over the class with a air of great importance. ”That is why I have decided to introduce the crystal ball a little sooner than I’d originally intended, in order for you hto get sufficient practise… Everyone place yourself at one of the Orbs provided—”

She gestures vaguely with a fluttery movement of her tinkling hand and they all take their usual seats around the small, incense-heavy classroom. 

”Now, I don’t want you to worry if you do not See at your first try — crystal-gazing is a very fine and complex art, and it requires a lot of concentration, which is why we shall begin with a few relaxation exercises to clear your Inner Eyes…”

Harry glances around at his fellow classmates and barely refrains from sniggering. If they were any more relaxed, they’d be sleeping… Hunching over the table, Harry pretends to stare into the crystal ball in front of him, but lets his gaze travel past the orb to a certain blonde sitting on the other side if the classroom, trying to follow Trelawny’s instructions but only getting more and more tense… Harry smirks, wondering if Draco is even capable of genuinely relaxing…

Eyelids drooping, Harry starts to drift off… But he’s roughly roused again when Theodore gives him a sudden kick under the table. 

”Ow! What—?” Harry jerks upright and sends the other boy a glare, but quickly schools his face into what he hopes looks like a relaxed one as he becomes aware of Trelawny towering over him. 

”Well, dear…” she says dreamily. ”What did you see?”

”Er…” 

”Don’t be shy.”

”I saw… Ehm… Draco”, Harry says, then immediatly curses himself. 

A hush falls over the classroom and all eyes turn to peer over at him in varying degrees of interest.Harry swallows thickly, avoiding looking over at where the blonde in question is sitting with Pansy and Daphne. 

”I’m sorry?” Trelawny says.

”Draco”, Harry repeats with a blush, pointing in ahead without looking up from the crystal ball, pulse pattering nervously as he tries to come up with a way to twist this into one of Trelawny’s favoured tragedies. ”And ehm… He was flying…”

”Flying?” She repeats, sounding unimpressed.

”Yes, but then… Then he fell off his broom, because… Because he got hit with a bludger”, Harry finished lamely. 

”And then what happened?” Trelawny asks, interest piqued once more. 

”Nothing. That’s all I saw.”

”Are you quite sure?”

”Yes”, Harry says firmly. 

”Very well, that’s… That’s a good first try, dear…” Trelawny sighs and pats him on the shoulder before sashaying away. 

Harry finally risks glancing up at Draco, who just blinks and looks away again.

*

As Harry lies awake in his bed, he keeps replaying the memories of his dads arguments in his mind and tries to put himself in his daddy’s place, tries to imagine what it must feel like… To carry around a secret that big, that dangerous, that life-altering… 

It’s time, Moony… He knows something’s up already and it’s only going to get worse the longer we wait to tell him…

I know, I know, but I’m not ready… Please, Sirius…

He thinks back on what the textbooks said about werewolves, and about the stigma and the discrimination, about lives lived in poverty and solitude, pain and secrecy, an uprooted existence, a life half-lived… 

It’s time, Moony…

I know, but I’m not ready…

Harry tries to swallow down a growing lump in his throat as he thinks of his daddy’s kind eyes when he comforts him, his strong arms when he hugs him to his chest, his calm words of wisdom and reason when the world is seemingly falling apart around them and how he always puts everyone else first, and knows exactly what to say or do to make everything just a little bit better… The lump in Harry’s throat just keeps growing and growing… It’s just not fair, Harry thinks. My daddy is not a monster!

And that’s when it hits him, really hits him for the first time… That’s what his daddy is afraid of, that’s why he’s stalling… Because he doesn’t want Harry to see him as a monster!

Harry shoots out of bed and stumbles out of the dorm in his haste to get to his daddy and tell him he knows everything already and he doesn’t care, because he can’t stand the thought of his daddy suffering through a worry like that for even a single minute longer than absolutely necessary!

He moves as quickly and quietly as possible through the corridor and as soon as he reaches the spiral stairs leading up from the dungeons he starts running, but stumbles almost immediately and nearly goes flying back down again. Swearing silently to himself, he kicks off his slippers and starts up the stairs again and as soon as he reaches the top landing he begins running for real, thudding to a stop only when he reaches the bottom of the marble staircase… Suddenly he hears voices and approaching footsteps and he wheels around in panic, scanning the Entrance Hall… It’s coming from outside, he realises and just as the thought has occurred to him, he can see the door handle begin to turn. 

Without thinking, Harry quickly whirls back around and takes the marble stairs three at a time until he reaches the bend of the stairs and can crouch down behind the railing.

”—that in your hand?” Sirius gruff voice grouses from below, and Harry’s heart skips a beat. ”Is that the Wolfsbane—?” 

”—What of it?” Professor Snape’s icy voice hisses back. 

What’s dad doing here? Harry thinks in a panic as his heart starts hammering in his chest and a layer of cold sweat breaks out over his skin. If I’m caught now, I’m dead… 

”You didn’t give it to him yet—?” 

”—I do have other things to do, Black!”

Holding his breath, Harry slowly starts to crawl up the remaining stairs, careful to stay hidden from view as his dad and Head of House continues to bicker behind him. 

”Don’t you dare speak to me that way, Snivellus!”

”I will speak however I please—!”

Finally reaching the top landing, Harry stays doubled over and begins to sprint blindly down the corridor, vaguely aware of Snape’s voice behind him, What was that, I think just heard something…

Harry rounds the corner and his feet slide out from underneath him, but he manages to catch himself on his hands and push himself upright again almost immediately. 

”This way, hurry—!” Snape snarls from the staircase behind him. 

Harry sucks in a quick breath and bolts down the corridor. He crashes into the door of the Defence classroom — please, please, please be open — and twists the doorknob; the door flies open as he yanks on it and almost knocks him in the face before he throws himself inside, looking around in panic — hiding place, hiding place, need a hiding place — 

That’s when he sees it. 

The door to his daddy’s office is left wide open. There’s a soft light spilling out of the room, but no sounds can be heard from inside. 

With his heart lodged in his throat, Harry walks up to the door and sticks his head inside. The room is empty. Harry looks over at the door he knows leads to his daddy’s sleeping quarters. That door is closed. Hesitating for only a second, Harry decides to walk over and open it. But that room is also empty.

”D-Daddy?” he calls out anyway, but there is no answer. 

The bed is still made and definitely hasn’t been slept in. Everything is neatly stored away, every book in its place on the shelves and every item of clothing hidden away in the wardrobe. Turning back to face the office, Harry notices the same thing there. Clean and tidy. Everything in its place. Except for one thing… Harry cautiously walks up to the small desk, where a lantern is left burning… And in the soft light spilling out of it, lies the Marauder’s map. Harry frowns, what was his daddy looking for and what made him leave his office in such a hurry that he forgot to wipe the map? 

He quickly turns the map around and scans it. His daddy had been looking at the ground level of the castle, with the deserted Great Hall and Entrance Hall side by side… And outside the castle he can see the lawn and the lake, Hagrid’s hut with Hagrid and his bloodhound Fang inside it, the Hippogriff Buckbeak tethered outside… The Forbidden Forest… The quidditch pitch and the Whomping Willow… 

A sudden movement in his peripheral makes Harry gasp and he quickly moves the lantern closer… There, a black dot moving across the grounds, Remus Lupin… Harry frowns. Where is his daddy going? 

And that’s when he sees the second dot… Peter Pettigrew —

Bowled over by a sudden onslaught of memories of flying glass and angry words, his dads arguing over a picture in the Prophet, a picture of the Weasley family and — and Ron’s rat Scabbers, Harry remembers with a jolt — and it’s like the final pieces of a jigsaw puzzle magically scuttles into place… 

The rat — look at it! — It’s him! 

Your dad and I once knew a person who was an animagus and could turn into a rat

And later, sitting in his daddy’s office, staring at his tired, wary face as the shadows of the past flickered in his eyes, Wormtail was a boy named Peter, Peter Pettigrew… We’re no longer friends —

Harry can only stare disbelief at the two little dots on the map now, one obviously chasing the other, and he barely even register the footsteps and the voices of his dad and Head of House when they come storming inside the office. 

”Harry! What the Hell do you think you’re—?” Sirius barks, but then cuts himself off suddenly. 

When Harry looks up, his dad is staring at the map looking whiter than Harry has ever seen him before in his life. 

”Where did you get that…? What—?” but he cuts himself off again, and when he swears loudly and furiously, Harry knows he’s spotted Pettigrew’s name on the map. 

”Harry, stay with Snape!” he barks as he shoves the Potion Master aside roughly and bolts out of the room. 

Snape releases a series of hushed but heartfelt expletives as some of the smoking potion he carries spills over the back of his hand, and throws a thunderous look at the now empty doorway. Harry stares numbly between the doorway and the smoking goblet… Wolfsbane… Daddy’s potion… Oh Merlin, it’s the full moon, that’s why dad’s here, it’s the full moon, daddy is about to transform and he hasn’t had Snape’s potion yet —

Horror-struck, Harry stumbles away from the desk. Snape’s eyes narrow suspiciously and he twitches with what might have been an impulse to catch Harry who for a second seemed to have lost his balance, but he quickly gets his feet back under him and before Snape has had a chance to react, he launches himself forward and grabs the potion out of his hand and hurtles out of the office. 

”Harry—! POTTER, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!”

But Harry ignores him and continues to run, the Wolfsbane potion burning the palm of his hand as he keeps it on top of the goblet like a lid to keep it from spilling. After only a moment, he can hear Snape’s running footsteps chasing after him, but he doesn’t turn around to look. 

Snape runs a lot faster than him and soon catches up, but Harry’s Seeker instincts are quicker and he darts away every time the professor tries to grab him. 

As they reach the marble staircase leading down to the Entrance Hall, Snape finally falls behind since Harry is too scared for both his dads to care about his own safety and more or less hurls himself down the steps. He skids across the floor and out the wide open oak doors, looking around in panic as he tries to listen for any sounds, anything —

”POTTER! Stop—!”

Snape has caught up to him again. Harry resumes the chase, running almost blindly in the near darkness towards the quidditch pitch where his daddy and Pettigrew had been when he watched them on the map… Must get the potion to daddy, he thinks hysterically… 

Finally, he hears something —

”P-p-p-please Remus, S-S-Sirius, my friends…”

Harry runs towards the sound of the squeaky voice without missing a beat, ignoring the stitch in his side and the weight on his chest… Must get the potion to daddy, must get it to him, must get it to —

Harry comes to a thundering stop, as three dark figures suddenly take shape in the gloom in front of him… The two taller ones tower over the one with the squeaky voice, pointing their wands at him.

”P-p-please don’t hurt me…”

”Shut up!” Sirius snarls. ”You pathetic little worm! I’ll never forgive myself for trusting you, for convincing James to trust you — should have known you were a spy from the start —”

”S-s-spy, m-me? Never!”

With a strangled snarl, Sirius steps right up to the smaller man and pressing his wand into the side of his neck, he forces him to his knees… As Harry’s vision starts to adjust to the gloom, the man’s pudgy face starts to come into focus. His eyes are small but terrified as he stares up at Sirius and his whole face is shining with sweat, and possibly also tears…

”You always did like big friends who looked out for you”, Sirius continues. ”At first it was me and Remus… And James… They only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it”, Sirius snarls, his voice getting thicker and thicker with suppressed emotion. 

Harry is vaguely aware of Professor Snape coming to thudding stop right behind him, quietly panting as he tries to catch his breath. 

”Thought it’d be the perfect bluff”, Sirius continues. ”Voldemort was sure to come after me — No-one would suspect James and Lily to trust one so pathetic and insignificant as you with their safety, with their lives —”

”No, please, I’m sorry—!” the small man squeals in terror and curls up into a trembling heap at Sirius feet. 

”Sirius…” Remus says quietly, speaking up for the first time since Harry found them. ”It’s not worth it. Think of Harry. Let’s just take him up to the castle and alert the authorit—”

But before he can finish the sentence, the thick blanket of clouds suddenly begin to disperse above their heads and white-blue moonlight showers the three men and the effect on Remus is instantaneous… Harry stares in horror as his daddy’s whole begins to tremble and convulse… Sirius doesn’t appear to have noticed yet, still focused on the trembling heap of a man at his feet and in the light of the full moon Harry can now make out the murderous, almost manic look in his dad’s face… 

The wand falls from Remus hand and he seems to cave in on himself and twitch in pain. 

”Daddy!” Harry screams. 

Someone — Snape, Harry’s mind reminds him — grabs him roughly by the arms and hushes him furiously. 

Sirius wheels around with an incredulous scowl and opens his mouth to bark something either at Harry or the Potions Master, but he immediately stops himself as he sees the goblet clutched in both of Harry’s hands. His face drains of colour and he whirls around to face his husband in horror. 

”Remus!” he yelps. ”No, no, no, no — Look at me, look at me!”

”Potter”, Snape hisses and keeps pulling on his arms. ”We’ve got to get out of here!”

”No—!”

”Potter, now—!”

”It’s all right! It’s okay!” Sirius says desperately, dropping his wand to the ground so that he can wrap both arms around his now violently convulsing husband and tries to catch his darkening, bloodshot eyes. ”Stay with me, stay with me! Remus, look at me! This heart is who you truly are, this heart—!”

With a sudden spasmodic movement, Remus throws Sirius off and the man flies several feet into the air before landing hard on his back on the ground. Snape swears under his breath and roughly shoves Harry behind him, standing like a human shield between him and the now half-transformed werewolf as he drops to the ground and begins to thrash around in pain… 

Harry stares in mute disbelief as his daddy’s human limbs shrink and his face contorts into a snout and gets covered with a thick coat of grey fur… Without seconds, what looks almost exactly like a regular wolf crawls out of the confines of the shabby robes, its tufted tail thrashing and teeth bared as it tilts its head back and howls up at the moon…

Sirius is slowly but steadily advancing on the werewolf again. Harry’s heart is beating madly and adrenaline is pumping through him as he tries to clamber out from behind Snape and get to his dad, but the Potions Master is stronger and manages to hold him back. 

”Dad!” Harry screams. ”DAD!”

”Snape, get Harry out of here!” Sirius bellows before he too transforms — into a big, black dog!

”What…” Harry mumbles in shock. 

”Let’s go, let’s go —” Snape snaps and tries to physically propel Harry around, but he slithers away and continues to struggle against his Head of House until the man finally grabs him by the arms and bends down to stare into his eyes. ”Harry! They’re both fine! Listen to me! Werewolves are only dangerous to humans when they haven’t drunk Wolfsbane, do you understand? Your dad will be fine, and your daddy too, as long as we get you out of harm’s way right now!”

Harry can only stare back, horror-struck as the man’s words finally sink in. He nods numbly and then lets himself be pushed and pulled all the way across the grounds and only once they are in the safety of the castle does Snape let go of him. Harry stumbles and trips over, and when he tries to get back up he almost can’t get his legs to support him, he’s shaking so badly. 

Snape lets out a frustrated sigh and grabs him again, except gentler this time. Harry clutches the sleeve of his robe and leans into him until he’s sure his legs will carry him. 

”Are you all right?” the man asks him gruffly. 

”I… I don’t know…” Harry mumbles. 

”Let’s just get you to bed.”

Snape walks him to the Common Room and then gives him one last worried look as they pause outside the door to the dormitory. 

”Don’t worry”, he mutters and his mouth contorts into a grimace that doesn’t look anything like a smile. ”You’ll see that, in the morning, everything will be… It will be… Fine.”

”Yes, Sir”, Harry whispers. 

”Well, good night then… Harry…”

”Good night, Sir…”

Snape opens the door to the dormitory carefully and holds it up for Harry who shuffles inside. He pauses in the middle of the room and looks over at his fourposter bed. He can hear the door slide shut again behind him and looks around. 

Then before he’s even aware of moving, his feet has carried him over to Draco’s bed. He pulls the hangings aside and reaches down the shake the boy awake. 

Draco startles and scrambles up to sitting, staring up at Harry with bleary eyes. 

”H-Harry? What—?”

”I’m sorry”, Harry blurts out in a small voice. ”But I… I need t-to t-talk to you…”

Draco frowns and begins to shake his head and if Harry’s heart wasn’t already shattered in a million pieces it would break, but as it is he can’t possibly feel any worse.

”Please, Draco”, he says. ”I know you want me to leave you alone, you need time, space, whatever, and I’m sorry, I am, but I… I didn’t have anyone else to go to and I really… I really need to talk—”

He cuts himself off with a shuddered gasp and swallows down a small sob.

”Why?” Draco demands worriedly. ”What’s wrong?”

”Not here…” Harry mumbles self-consciously, glancing over at Goyle in the next bed as the large boy lets out another snore and rolls over. ”Common room…”

Draco quickly scrambles out of bed and slips his bathrobe on on top of his pyjamas. They make their way out of the dorm together and Harry leads them over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He hugs his knees to his chest and watches as Draco brings the embers back to life before he takes a seat next to him. 

”Tell me what happened…”

Harry swallows thickly as he tries to think — Where do I even start? — but finally he just opens his mouth and lets it all tumble out, all of it… He tells Draco about doing the essay on werewolves and putting the pieces together, that his daddy never told him and still hasn’t told him, but Harry figured it out and tonight… Harry just shakes his head as tears tumble down his face…

”What happened tonight, Harry?” Draco asks quietly, his arm looping around Harry’s hunched shoulders. 

”He forgot to take his potion, because… Because…” 

With a shuddering breath, Harry doubles back and tells Draco about the Weasley twins giving him the map, then learning about the Marauders, and Peter Pettigrew; He tells him about his dad seeing that picture in the Prophet and freaking out, sure that Ron’s pet rat Scabbers was their old school friend in his animagus form; He tells him his daddy found out he had the map and confiscated it… 

”And tonight, he saw Pettigrew’s name on it and went to hunt him down, before Professor Snape had given him the potion… I ran after them, to give him the potion—”

”Of course you did”, Draco mutters. 

”And I saw them… Dad was threatening this man, this Pettigrew guy, saying he betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort… Then the clouds broke and…” 

”Oh Merlin…” Draco breathes. 

”I saw my daddy transform, I saw everything, and my dad — my dad — he transformed too, I don’t understand it, he — he — into a dog — I don’t…”

”So you’re dad’s an animagus too?”

”I- I guess, I… But he never told me, they never told me any of this!”

”It makes sense for him to be an animagus”, Draco says. ”You said he takes care of your daddy when it’s that time of the month? If he can turn into an animal, that would explain why your daddy wouldn’t be affected by his presence when he’s… You know…”

”Yeah… Yeah, you’re right, that does make sense… Hey, I just remembered”, Harry says as the clock chimes midnight. ”Happy birthday…”

The blonde gives him a small smile and pulls him a little closer. Harry lets his head fall onto the other boy’s shoulder and closes his eyes with a sigh when he feels a hand gently rub his arm. 

”I’ve missed you so much, Draco…” he whispers. ”You have no idea…”

Draco doesn’t say anything for the longest time. But when he finally does, his voice his thick with repressed emotion and barely above a whisper. 

”I think I do…”

*

”What the Hell…” 

Harry blinks his eyes open again, squinting in the green light from the windows he realises it’s morning already… He must have fallen asleep… He twists a little and looks up at a scowling Pansy Parkinson standing over him with her arms crossed. 

”What…” he croaks sleepily. 

He tries to sit up, but there’s a weight on his chest. He looks down and comes face to face with a mop of white-blonde hair. 

”Why are you and Draco sleeping in the Common Room?” Pansy demands. ”Better yet, why are you and Draco sleeping together?”

”What”, Harry mutters again, shooting her a glare. 

”Draco!” the girl more or less shrieks, startling the blonde awake finally. ”Why are you sleeping with Harry?”

Draco quickly scrambles away from Harry and stumbles off the sofa, looking around in newly awakened confusion, ”I-I-I’m not — I — What?”

”I thought you weren’t friends with him anymore!” 

Draco wheels around, locating Pansy and squinting at her through sleep-swollen eyes. 

”Relax, Pans”, Harry mutters and sits up as well. ”We didn’t mean to fall asleep here, it just happened, get over it…”

”Draco, why were you sitting with Harry on the sofa in the first place?”

Draco just blinks. 

”Draco!” the girl exclaims and Harry winces at her shrill, grating voice. ”Is there something going on that I should know about?”

”Why are you talking like you’re his girlfriend?” Harry snaps. ”What’s it to you anyway!”

”Are you going to let him talk to me like that?” Pansy demands. 

”I…” Draco croaks. ”Uhm…”

”Oh, forget it!” Pansy snaps and spins on her heel, stomping out of the Common Room. 

Draco glances around and cringes. Harry turns around as well and — Yep, everybody’s here. Great.

”Show’s over”, he grumbles. 

”Sooo…” Seamus says slowly, looking expectantly between the two of them. ”What’s the status…?”

Draco almost trips over in his haste to flee the Common Room, looking like a spooked animal. Harry gives his friends a sarcastic smile and gestures after him as if to say, There’s your status report!

Seamus and Blaise exchange an exasperated look and go back to their chess game. 

Harry stands up and stretches. He’s got a crick in his neck, but it was definitely worth it considering he got to cuddle with Draco. All night.

He doesn’t bother changing his robes, just flattens his hair as much as possible with his hands and goes to brush his teeth quickly before he makes his way to his daddy quarters. The bed is still made when he gets there. Of course his daddy would have got up and made it by this time, but Harry knows the bed hasn’t been slept in during the night… He sighs and sinks down on the edge of it and tries to think… He can use the map to find his daddy and go look for him… Or he can wait here for him to come back when he’s ready… 

In the end, Harry decides to wait. But he doesn’t have to wait for long. 

Within moments, he can hear someone enter the office and quickly stands up and walks over to the door. 

Remus stops in surprise in the middle of the room and then slumps against the desk in relief. 

”Harry… There you are…”

”Were you looking for me?” Harry asks. ”I’m sorry…”

”It’s… It’s fine…” Remus says and shakes his head weakly. 

”Are you okay, daddy?”

Heaving a great sigh, Remus pushes himself away from the desk for long enough to walk around it and sink down in the desk chair. 

”I’m sure you have… Questions…”

Harry just shakes his head, because he’s now read everything he’s been able to find on werewolves and the only thing the books haven’t been able to tell him is why his dads have kept this huge part of their lives a secret from him, and honestly, Harry doesn’t really want that question answered anyway… 

As if reading his thoughts, Remus starts to tell him anyway and Harry gets to see his daddy’s eyes well up with tears for the second time in his life and just like the first time, it shakes him to the core. He cautiously walks up to the desk and perches on the seat opposite Remus as the man struggles to choose his words. 

”I should have told you a long time ago, I know that… Your dad kept telling me it was time… But I…” he sighs and shakes his head. ”I just couldn’t bear the thought of — I mean, I knew it was inevitable — wanted to put it off for as long as possible because I knew it would break my heart to — to see my own son scared —”

He cuts himself off and takes another shuddering breath. 

Harry frowns. 

”— scared of me —”

”No!” Harry blurts out and before he’s even aware of moving, he finds himself on his feet again. ”I’d never be scared of you, daddy! Ever!” 

Remus slumps over with relief and hangs his head, chuckling a little quietly. 

But it’s not until he covers his eyes with a trembling hand that Harry realises that his daddy is actually crying. Without thinking about it, he rounds the desk in three quick strides and then, curling up like a pretzel, he burrows into the man’s arms and clambers up into his lap. Remus immediately throws both arms around him and buries his face into his hair and breathes in deeply. Then tightens his embrace even more. 

They sit like that for long time, and Harry almost dozes off again. But then he remembers Pettigrew and shakes himself awake again. 

”Daddy what happened to that man, Pettigrew?”

”Oh, he got away…” Remus murmurs. ”He probably transformed into a rat again and ran away… But it doesn’t matter, Harry. He won’t be coming back here again. You’re safe.”

”I’m safe?” Harry says. ”What do you mean?”

”Harry, how much did you hear last night?”

”Not all of it, but enough. I know what happened — To James and Lily — I know Pettigrew betrayed them, but —”

”Twelve years ago, James and Lily went into hiding because the Voldemort was after them, after—”

”—I know, and Pettigrew was their Secret-Keeper—”

”—Yes, but the reason Voldemort was after them was because of you, Harry”, Remus says and peers into his face. ”He wanted you.”

”M-me? Why? I was just a baby…”

”We heard about a prophecy that was made about a boy that would have the power to destroy the Dark Lord. Voldemort had heard of the prophecy too and he had reason to believe that boy was you… And so he set out to — to kill you while you were still a defenceless baby”, Remus grip tightens unconsciously around Harry as he speaks, but Harry doesn’t complain. It helps him feel grounded, as the words sink in and his mind begins to race. ”Peter Pettigrew betrayed us all, he betrayed your mother and father; He gave their — your — location away and that’s how Voldemort found you that night… But something went wrong, as you know… He couldn’t kill you… Many of the Death Eaters believed Pettigrew had betrayed them as well, that he was the reason Voldemort was defeated that night, and so Pettigrew has been on the run ever since… On the run from us, as well as the Death Eaters… The only way he could possibly redeem himself to his new friends would be to finish the job that the Dark Lord started that night.”

”Kill me?” Harry says doubtfully. ”But if he’s been Ron’s pet rat this whole time, he’s had plenty of opportunities to kill me and he’s never even tried — Okay, ow, you’re really crushing me now —”

”Sorry, sorry—” Remus mutters quickly and eases his embrace again. ”I don’t know, Harry. Maybe he was biding his time or waiting for the right opportunity. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

He pets Harry’s hair and Harry gratefully leans into the touch, feeling sleepy again. 

”So when are you going to tell me the other story?” he asks lightly. 

”What other story?”

”The one where dad is an animagus and you guys never told me…”

”Ah… That story… Well, the whole thing started when we were at school. Back in those days, the Wolfsbane potion hadn’t been invented yet, so in order for me to attend Hogwarts, other measures had to be taken to keep the other students safe… So Professor Dumbledore arranged for me to hide in a small shack in Hogsmeade every full moon. A teacher escorted me there a couple of days before and locked me in… Then they came back to retrieve me a few days after… The Whomping Willow was planted at the entrance of the secret tunnel that lead to the shack, to keep students from accidentally discovering it… But of course, my friends started to get suspicious fairly quickly and it didn’t take them long to discover my secret…”

”Wait… You don’t mean… The Shrieking Shack?”

”Yes, but it didn’t get that nickname until halfway into our second year…”

”It wasn’t haunted before then?”

”It was never haunted”, Remus corrects. ”The noises that the villagers took to be the shrieks from some tortured ghoul came from me…”

With a sinking feeling, it starts to become clear to Harry what his daddy is actually telling him. At only eleven years old, he’d been locked into a shack to deal with his transformation all alone, howling in pain and frustration, clawing at himself… Harry feels his eyes well up with tears and burrows his face into the man’s chest. 

”It was actually your father’s idea that they all become animagi”, Remus says cheerfully. ”That way, they could keep me company without putting themselves at risk, you see? It took them several years — it’s really advanced magic, and they were learning it all on their own — but they finally managed and after that, we all spent the nights of the full moon playing together in the forest and instead of dreading that time of the month, I actually started looking forward to it… It was really a life changer, and all because of your father—”

”Daddy”, Harry interrupts. 

”Yes, pup?”

”I know you were really close friends and everything, but can you please call him James? It just feels really weird when you call him my father…”

”Harry…” Remus sighs. ”James and Lily are a part of you. They loved you more than anything—”

”—I know that—”

”—They were and will always be your parents… And acknowledging that won’t diminish what Sirius and I are to you, or what we feel about you… Or what you feel about us… There’s no limit to the amount of room a person has in their heart.”

”Yeah, but… I don’t even remember them…” Harry mumbles. 

”I know…” Remus sighs and rubs his back. 

”At least not James…”

”What do you mean?”

”Well, I… I kind of remember Lily… Well, her voice—”

”You do—?”

”—I hear it in my nightmares—”

”—What… Oh…”

”I hear her plead with Voldemort to spare me, before she screams and then… Then everything used to just go green and I’d wake up, but ever since — you know — first year — I dream I see his face — well his eyes — first, and then everything goes green…”

”Oh, Harry…” Remus mumbles and kisses his forehead gently. ”If I could switch dreams with you I would… Are you all right, pup?”

”Yeah”, Harry says and for the first time in a very long while, he actually means it. 

”Good… Come on, let’s go scavenge the kitchen for some breakfast…”