Nearly

The last stragglers’ footsteps echo across the small square of Godric’s Hollow, and the triumphant yells and giggles of the children disappear into the houses with them as their parents close the front doors behind them. The flickering glow of the Jack-o-lanterns spills out of their front gates and makes the leaves scattered on the pavement look ablaze, the only source of light in the small village after the last window goes dark. 

Everything is silent, almost eerily so… Until suddenly a faint wailing cuts through the quiet.  

A muffled motor soon joins in, like some growling harmony to the broken cry and as the Disillusionment Charm is lifted from the motorcycle, the revving engine grows louder abruptly, before it’s extinguised entirely. 

Sirius jumps off the bike and leads it the last few hundred metres down the side street, not wanting to wake up the entire village by flying the bike all the way into James and Lily’s front yard — again — remembering Lily’s anger the last time he’d done so and woken up young Harry, whom the redhead had just managed to get to bed apparently… Sirius smiles wryly to himself. Although he can think of quite a number of things he prefers over being on the receiving end of Lily Potter’s wrath, the memory is still a fond one.

The smile fades quickly however as he becomes aware of the wailing noise… It sounds like an animal in pain, he thinks — and then he sees it…

His heart lurches and ripples of cold run over his skin as he stares in horror at his friends’ house; all the lights are out despite their plans to get together, and the ceiling has collapsed.

No, Sirius thinks weakly, barely aware of the motorcycle slipping from his fingers and falling to the ground with a deafening crash. 

No, no, no, no —

Before he knows what he’s doing, Sirius is running. His heart is lodged in his throat, making it almost impossible to breathe, but he doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter — he needs to get to —

Wrenching the front door open, Sirius hurtles inside. But he has barely stumbled across the threshold, when the sight of his best friend — his best friend’s lifeless body — sprawled on the floor at the foot of the stairs has knocked him back again and he falls back against the doorframe with such force he hits the back of his head with a worryingly loud crack. For a moment, white dots explode in his eyes, but he blinks them away quickly.

The wailing has quieted down and been replaced by tiny gasps and sobs. It’s coming from the top floor, and it’s the thought of Lily and Harry that finally manages to shake Sirius back into action. He heaves a couple of desperate breaths, then forces himself to stagger into the house. He sidesteps James’ body and tumble up the stairs. 

The sobbing is coming from Harry’s room, Sirius realises with a sickening jolt. He staggers down the hall, an ice-cold hand gripping his heart in a tight fist… and finally he reaches the door, that appears to have been blasted off its hinges… 

His heart gives another painful leap, despite the death grip squeezing it together, and all thought leave Sirius as he stares in horror at the scene before him — 

There’s a ringing in his ears and the wand almost slips from his grip, he is shaking so violently — and when did he draw his wand anyway? Doesn’t matter, nothing matters anymore, he thinks wildly, the Unforgivable building up inside him as he raises the wand higher, it’s trembling tip aimed squarely at the man’s heart —

Snivellus — Death Eater — kill him, Sirius thinks wildly and bellows, ”Get your filthy hands OFF HER!”

Severus Snape startles and stares up at Sirius. The anguised look on his face morphs into a hideous grimace of pure rage, and although his eyes are swollen and raw from crying, they flash darkly… He lets Lily — Lily’s body — slip from his embrace as he scrambles to his feet and draws his own wand —

”You —!” He gasps. ”You dare — come here — I’’ll — I’ll kill you —!”

He makes a slashing move with his wand, but before the curse has left his mouth, Sirius has shouted ”Protego!”

”I dare —? I DARE?” he bellows incredulously. ”YOU KILLED MY FRIENDS! Stupify!”

Severus throws himself to the side, the hex missing him by inches.

”I LOVED HER!” he bellows back, some colour now returning to his pale cheeks. ”I tried to save — Dumbledore said — he promised me —!”

”What?” Sirius cries, his mind whirring. ”Dumbledore? But — Oh —” 

Peter, Sirius realises and feels like someone has doused him in ice water.

”Sectum—!” Severus cries and makes a slashing movement with his wand. 

”Protego!” Sirius shouts. 

”Cruci—!”

”Expelliarmus!”

”FIGHT BACK YOU COWARD!” Severus cries, lunging after his wand as he goes flying out of his hand and manages to snatch it out of the air before it reaches Sirius. 

”Coward? I don’t have time to waste on you, Snivellus!” Sirius spits and stumbles back towards the broken doorway, his mind whirling, Peter betrayed them, Peter betrayed them all. ”I have to — Peter — I can’t believe —”

”Pettigrew?” Severus says incredulously. ”You mean to tell me —?”

”Shut up!” Sirius bellows. ”I’ll — I’ll kill him… I’LL KILL HIM —!”

Without as much as a glance back at Snape, Sirius bolts out of the room again. He thunders down the stairs, baby Harry’s renewed cries barely registering as he leaps over the dead body of his best friend and crashes into the wall next to the front door. 

”Black! BLACK —!” Severus Snape’s slightly panicked voice reaches him, just as he’s about to wrench the door open. ”Don’t even think about leaving the boy with me —!”

The boy, Sirius thinks and grabs the door handle for support as his mind reels, making him slightly dizzy. Harry…

”BLACK! I’M SERIOUS, YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” Snape screams as he comes pelting down the stairs. ”I am not looking after him! I need to go see Dumbledore —!”

Without waiting to see whether Sirius will indeed stay with Harry, Snape shoves him roughly aside and disappears out the front door. 

Harry’s gurgling wails from the top floor is the only thing in the eerie silence of the house that cuts through the ominous tattoo of Sirius heartbeat and the obsessed inner mantra of Kill Peter, Kill Peter, Kill Peter

Taking a couple of deep breaths, Sirius forces himself to calm down enough to go back up the stairs. He hesitates for a moment outside the door to Harry’s room, not sure how he’s supposed to be able to walk inside and face Lily’s vacant, dead face once more… But Harry’s cries seem to pull on him, and finally he stumbles inside. 

Lifting the small boy from his crib and cradling him to his chest, Sirius swallows down the lump in his throat and hushes him gently, finding that it soothes himself almost as much as it seems to soothe the boy, who eventually falls back asleep with his tear-streaked face pressed against his Godfather’s chest. 

For a moment, the prospect of the future crashes down on Sirius like a monstrous tidal wave and he wonders desperately how he is going to break all this to Remus… But as he looks down into the sleeping face of Harry, and the thin cut on his forehead shaped like a lightening bolt, he knows that whatever else happens, he will devote the rest of his life to taking care of this boy.