"Your dad gave you permission?"
Jinx still didn't feel well, the trembling in her body didn't go away, it just slowed down. She felt like at any moment the rug would be pulled out from under her feet and she would fall. She didn't feel ready to admit that her children were no longer with her now that she had seen them again, she wasn't willing to let them go.
Having Ekko by her side helped a little but that wasn't her Ekko or was it? It was all confusing but either way, all of Ekko was hers. Any version of him belonged to Jinx or Powder and vice versa. Or so she hoped.
She couldn't imagine a world where Ekko and she didn't love each other even though they weren't together yet... YET. They surely in all the worlds or universes or timelines or whatever the fuck, must have had feelings for each other. Maybe Isha and Beni even existed in those other realities. Who knows?
Jinx just wanted to sleep the sleep she hadn't gotten in days with her children, preferably hugged by Ekko. That surely wouldn't happen but her delirious mind wouldn't stop.
"What else did you see?" Jinx asked, glancing at the man who was intently watching the sleeping Beni.
Ekko murmured softly before answering her. "The attack on the Shimmer shipment on the day of progress, when Silco found you, Sevika and you fighting Smeech, the gray one..." Every single thing he said made Jinx even more paranoid. "The fight with Vi at the temple, you talking to... Kayn and your surgery..."
Jinx's nails dug hard into the crib railing, her chest feeling tight as if someone had stepped on it hard. They had watched as Singed turned her into a monster... Oh, she felt like throwing up.
The lights started to get too bright, the sounds were deafening around them. Her pink eyes went to her arm seeing a needle stuck right into her vein, the bright pink liquid overflowed the syringe wetting her skin, her veins soon popped out filled with shimmer. No longer near her baby's crib, nor at the side of the man she loved, she returned to that dark room with the iron scent of blood and the sickly sweet smell of shimmer. She couldn't move, her body was trapped on that stretcher, she felt the sharp, agonizing pain of the needles sticking into her body again and again and again and again and again and again and again.
She opened her mouth trying to breathe but she couldn't, she felt warm hands holding her face gently but she moved trying to escape, she just wanted to get out of there.
"Jinx!"
She heard a voice calling her but the pink liquid covered her eyes. One of her hands stiffly moved and grabbed the hand holding her face. Her nails dug into the other person's skin.
"Jinx, do you know who Isha is?"
The voice asked, drawing her attention.
Isha? Isha... Isha was her daughter, right? Yes... That's right.
Her head shook slightly in agreement at the question.
"Okay, can you describe Isha for me?"
Jinx opened her mouth feeling a warm liquid wet her fingers that were still stuck in the other hand. With a sigh she let out shaky words. "She has blue hair... Brown eyes... Dark skin... She smells like a baby."
"Well done, Jinx." His hands caressed her cheeks. "Do you think you can open your eyes now?"
Gritting her teeth Jinx tried to open her eyes, after much effort she was able to slowly open them. The first thing she saw was Ekko who looked at her with soft eyes.
"Are you feeling better?"
Jinx nodded shakily, she could feel her heart slowly calming down. It was amazing how Ekko despite the years that had passed could still keep her grounded, just like their children. "I can't believe you saw that."
"It wasn't... pretty to look at." That was an understatement. Ekko knew the image of Jinx screaming in pain would forever be in his nightmares.
Jinx just gave a small bitter laugh, she wanted to tell him that it was more horrible to live through it. She could feel the hateful, sharp whisper of the shimmer on the back of her neck telling her to be angry with Ekko, that it wasn't fair, that it was his fault... But she couldn't, no matter how much she felt the need... The shimmer always inclined her to her most destructive instincts and emotions, sometimes she felt like a monster, well, more than she already was. Maybe her own mind didn't allow it because she never felt those impulses against her Isha and Beni, she could never forgive herself if she voluntarily hurt her babies.
Maybe his words weren't the right ones or maybe they were, she doesn't know anymore but she didn't want to talk to Ekko anymore. He and everyone in this fucking shithole had seen too much of her. There was no doubt that she loved Ekko but she would never have wanted him to see what he saw, that was hers and no one else's or so it was supposed to. But now her private life belonged to everyone. Her parents, her stupid sister, her brothers (not dead), her (hopefully) father-in-law (not dead), her idiot sister's stupid girlfriend, a little Ekko and Powder (who Jinx would definitely not speak to even once) maybe out of fear or maybe because there was something she didn't want to admit.
Everyone knew about her private life, at first or the first few minutes of finding out it didn't bother her but now it was impossible not to. Hadn't she had enough? She just wanted to live quietly with her children and that was all, she didn't think she was asking for too much. If it was true and Viktor brought them here then she would take care of him herself. But for now she just needed some time alone before leaving the strangely comfortable room.
"Go away, I want to be alone." Jinx snapped as she walked away from him and approached Beni's crib. Ekko looked at her strangely, not understanding what had happened. They were fine a few minutes ago.
"If that was something I said, I'm sorry." He apologized awkwardly, it felt weird apologizing to Jinx but at the moment it seemed like the right thing to do.
Jinx sighed exhaustedly, the weight of the last few days without sleep or food taking its toll on her. "Just go, Ekko."
He looked at her wanting to say something to comfort her, he felt it was his duty to make her feel better but he couldn't do it, he just nodded and began to walk slowly towards the exit.
"Wait."
Ekko's brown eyes sparkled for a moment with hope that maybe Jinx had changed her mind.
"Tell Isha to come, it's her bedtime," Jinx told him, clearing her throat.
Disappointment settled in Ekko's chest and he nodded as he left the room.
Jinx's eyelids felt heavy, a small, nagging guilt settling in her chest, she hadn't wanted to treat Ekko badly but she couldn't help it. She had too much to atone for. Her jaw ached from how clenched she was.
Jinx just wanted to tell Isha a story and have her sleep peacefully next to her like always. She needed to feel that something was still the same even though she was deceiving herself, everything had changed and deformed in a horrible way.
A soft noise behind her startled her, she turned around expecting to see Isha but there was nothing just a small note on the ground. With cautious steps she approached and took the note, it was a yellowish paper but the tips looked a kind of purple like Viktor's skin. In black ink and cursive was written: 'I know you don't like this, Powder. But this is necessary, you don't see it that way yet and that's understandable, you will do it. Just like me, you have a glorious evolution ahead of you, just trust me when I tell you that this is for your own good. Take this as an apology for what happened at the commune. One last thing, I wish I had met you sooner.'
Jinx's hand holding the note shook. "I wish I'd met you sooner, too, little robot."
She pressed the note to her chest before placing it on the nightstand beside the bed. She took one last look at Beni who was still asleep and, steeling herself, walked to the bedroom door. Isha hadn't returned so she would have to go look for her.
Jinx opened the door trying to focus her eyes on her daughter, she found her playing with Powder and little Ekko. Her heart warmed when she heard Isha laughing. Apparently, her daughter was having fun with the child versions of her parents.
She felt tears build up in her eyes, she had missed her baby's sweet laugh so much, how her eyes would light up and her curls would bounce. During those horrible days in her cell at Piltover, she was terrified that she would forget what her children sounded, smelled or even looked like. She didn't want to lose them again, she wanted to believe that Viktor wouldn't do that to her.
"Isha." Jinx called out to her daughter, who looked at her with a big smile. Everyone in the room was looking at her with caution, curiosity, and longing. She just tried to ignore them, she didn't want to face them now.
Isha ran up to her with a piece of paper in her hand. "Look, Mommy, they did this to me."
Jinx took the drawing, looking at Powder's colorful scribbles and Ekko's not-so-refined drawings. She gulped remembering the sleepovers she and Ekko used to have, they would stay up late trying not to get caught by Benzo or Vander and just draw or build things. The next morning they would be terribly tired but they had a lot of fun, they were simpler times.
"It's very cute, bunny." She handed the drawing back to Isha. "But it's your bedtime."
Isha pouted. "Can't I just keep playing? Daddy said I could."
Jinx raised an eyebrow in surprise and she asked out loud starting to get annoyed. "Your dad gave you permission?"
Ekko, who was standing next to Benzo and looking at the two women in his life, was startled by Jinx's question. Isha nodded with a pout and turned to look at her dad.
"Tell her, daddy."
Jinx, her eyes glowing pink, narrowed them, challenging Ekko to answer.
"Listen to your mommy, Ish." Ekko almost stuttered, despite all the fighting they did Jinx had never looked at him like that.
Jinx's gaze at Ekko was interrupted by her sister's blue-grey eyes. Vi looked different, she didn't look like the oil-covered, heartbroken woman from last time. She looked like the first time they met again.
"Pow-" Vi stopped as soon as she started her sentence. Jinx tensed, looking at her with a frown.
"If you're looking for Powder, she's there." Jinx pointed at the little girl still on the ground with little Ekko, looking at them curiously. "I'm too tired to deal with you, fat hands."
Vi opened her mouth to answer her but she didn't know what to say, what could she say to her? After everything she had seen, everything she had done in her little sister's timeline. She wanted to hug her, hold her in her arms and just feel the warmth of her Powder, of her little sister, of the little girl she practically raised.
Jinx rolled her eyes, held out her hand for Isha to take, and as soon as she did, she turned to go back into the room. She would deal with all this madness in the morning, or when she woke up for now she would pretend that everything was okay.
"My girl." Vander said causing Jinx to stop. Seeing her dad so... Human, made her head hurt, there were too many things. She was glad to see him well but she was overwhelmed.
"She needs a shower." Jinx froze at Mylo's murmur, she looked to her side thinking it was one of her scribbles but found herself staring at a real Mylo in the flesh. She touched his waist hoping to find his gun but there was nothing, a part of him wanted to hurt him and tell him to get away from her but she also wanted to hug him, tell him how much she missed him. Although if Jinx thought clearly he deserved a lot of yelling from him and a good beating, he had been very bad to her and now that she was an adult she could see that. Powder did not deserve Mylo's harsh words, which created enormous resentment that was reflected when she grew up becoming Jinx.
Jinx... She had been created by them. By Vi. By Mylo. By... By life, in general. It hadn't been Silco, of that she was sure.
She was an adult now, with two children and a city on her back. She was no longer the scared, crying little girl Mylo had known.
"Shut up." Jinx snapped, looking away from Mylo, who opened his eyes in fright at her tone.
Vander, seeing the situation, cleared his throat, attracting the blue-haired girl's attention. "I think we should all talk, Powder."
Ekko and adult Vi tensed upon hearing Vander's name for Jinx. The younger man expected Jinx to explode.
"Her name is Jinx." Silco said as he approached his daughter, looking at his brother with hard eyes. Vander grimaced as he approached his daughter as well.
Jinx looked at her father Silco with bright eyes before looking at Isha who seemed distracted playing with her hair. "Honey, go to the room and make sure your little brother is still sleeping, okay?"
"You're not coming?" Isha asked, tilting her head and letting out a big yawn.
Jinx tenderly stroked her hair. "I'll go now but I need to tell something to your... Our... family."
Isha nodded before waving goodbye to everyone and entered the room, Jinx waited until the door was closed to turn to face everyone.
She looked at the teenage version of her older sister, at Vi's girlfriend, at... Claggor, at Powder. At everyone.
"I'm going to make something clear." Jinx cleared her throat, her fingers itching to move them or do something with them. "You will not call me Powder or Pow or any of that nonsense. My name is Jinx, whether you like it or not. This is all absolutely insane, but it seems I have no other choice." She laughed almost hysterically, shrugging her shoulders.
She rubbed her eyes hard and roughly pushed her hair out of her face, whispering, "When do I get a choice?"
"I'm tired, I'm sleepy, my body hurts and my daughter is waiting for me to sleep. So everyone shut your mouths and when she wakes up we'll still be watching that... That shit." She awkwardly pointed at the projector. "Until then, don't bother me. I'll pretend that none of you exist. Well, except you two." She looked at Vander and Silco. Ekko felt offended at not being included.
"Jinx can we talk?" Adult Vi asked with pleading eyes.
"Are you stupid? Or did she already give you the piltie stupidity?" Jinx asked, pointing at Caitlyn, who jumped at her words. "I don't want to talk, nope, zero, nothing."
The adult Vi sighed, nodding her head in surrender. "Then when you wake up."
Jinx looked at her annoyed by her insistence and she wouldn't say it out loud but she liked the attention she got from her sister, she had missed her. But it was a pain in her beautiful and perfect ass.
"Whatever." Jinx waved it off and turned to look at Ekko who brightened at that. "You can come say goodnight to the kids if you want."
Ekko nodded enthusiastically, for the first time he felt part of Jinx's family, of that intimate circle she had created. He was the father of her children, he was a father.
"Yes, yes, get into the room at once." Jinx urged. Ekko followed her order with quick steps and entered the room.
Jinx turned to hug Silco and Vander, who held her tightly. She whispered, "I missed you so much. I love you."
The hearts of both parents warmed, they loved their little girl so much, their little blue one.
Jinx broke the hug before she started crying again. "Well, I have a little girl who won't go to sleep without astory. Goodnight."
She smiled at them one last time before entering the room.