Mine, Yours, Ours

I want to hold you,

I want to give you the world.

But, Is it me or another me,

that wants you

Milk and Love were back to their busy routine, attending fan meets and events. Their dedication and excitement to meet the fans kept them going despite their deep exhaustion. Love had become more aware of her surroundings, taking Tu’s advice to notice things she usually overlooked, which felt very normal to her.

As Love began to pay attention, she started to realize there was something Milk was trying to hide. She had always trusted Milk to tell her everything, so she never felt the need to dig deeper into Milk's words, looks, and actions. Now, however, she sensed an underlying secret in Milk's behavior.

While traveling for fan meets can be tiring, Love took the opportunity to focus more on Milk since they were always together. She began to understand that Milk was concealing a great deal, and gradually accepted the truth: Milk loved her. This realization wrapped around her like a comforting bubble. It felt unbelievable that someone as remarkable as Milk could love her. Along with this joy, Love also recognized the sorrow and fear that seemed to reside deep within Milk. She knew that she couldn’t allow her P’Milk to feel afraid or hurt.

Love felt it when Milk intertwined their fingers, filling every empty space inside her with warmth. She sensed the desperation behind Milk’s embrace, as if she were afraid Love might disappear. The hopelessness in Milk's eyes when she held Love's hand conveyed her fear of never being allowed to hold it again. Love felt the depth of Milk's feelings every time they exchanged glances—fear, love, and yearning mingled in those looks. Love could hear the wonder in Milk's voice whenever her name was called, as if it had been whispered in Milk’s dreams. She was beginning to see through Milk's facade.

After several fan meets across different countries, they finally had a few days to rest and recharge at home. Love found herself crying, imagining how much pain Milk must be enduring, loving her selflessly every day without asking for anything in return. Her heart ached at the thought of her P’Milk feeling afraid, lonely, and hiding her true feelings—the same P’Milk who was so brave, so giving, and always caring. An impulsive thought crossed Love's mind: running to Milk, holding her, and confessing that she loved her back. However, Love knew it would be unfair for both of them. Milk deserved clarity and honesty, not fleeting comfort stemming from Love’s desire to soothe her.

With this newfound understanding, Love was left to confront her own feelings. She needed to discern whether what she felt for Milk was mere admiration, a deep bond cultivated by their time together, or something more profound—actual love. Before she spiraled into confusion trying to figure it out alone, she decided to seek help.

Tu walked into the café, excited to finally have time to hang out after a long while. As she approached their table, she noticed Love sitting alone, deep in thought. Confused, as this was supposed to be a group gathering, Tu spoke softly to avoid startling her, “Love, hello.”

Love turned to Tu, greeted her with a smile, and got up to hug her. She missed Tu; their busy schedules had kept them from connecting or spending time together.

Tu took a seat across from Love, unable to suppress her curiosity. “Hey! I thought we were hanging out as a group. Are they coming late?” 

Love smiled faintly in response, “Sorry, Tu, but I wanted to talk with you alone today, so I didn’t invite anyone else. I hope that’s okay.”

Tu felt concerned. Love seemed stressed, and now that she looked closer, she noticed how exhausted she appeared. “Of course, Love, it’s fine. I’m here to listen, and I’ll do my best to help you out.”

“P’Milk loves me,” Love stated.

Tu gasped, surprised despite knowing that she had encouraged Love to come to this realization. Love studied Tu’s expression, sensing she might already know the truth. “It seems like you’re aware of this?” Love asked, curious about how Tu caught on while she had not.

Tu decided to get straight to the point. “Yes, I’m aware. I just observed Milk whenever she was around you, and that’s how I figured it out.”

Love hummed in acknowledgment. Tu couldn’t decipher the issue; was Love worried about Milk’s feelings? “Love, what’s the problem? Is P’Milk being in love with you making you uncomfortable?”

Love quickly clarified, “No, never! It feels unbelievable that someone as amazing as P’Milk loves someone like me.” 

Tu frowned at this statement. “Love, you are amazing! Stop thinking like that,” she insisted firmly. Love sighed, “I need help understanding my feelings.” Tu could comprehend Love’s dilemma and tried to make her see the things she often does unintentionally. “You know, whenever we hang out, no matter what we do or talk about, you always end up talking about P’Miw. We could be walking down the road and you’ll see something and say, ‘Oh, P’Miw will like this. This will suit P’Miw.’ We could be having meals together, and in the midst of it, you’d keep saying, ‘I need to eat this with P’Miw. She would love it. P’Miw would help me finish all this food,’ as if all your thoughts and actions revolve around her.” 

Love couldn’t help but blush at what Tu said; she never realized she was so infatuated. Tu saw Love blushing and laughed softly. “It’s so cute when you do these things.” However, Love could sense Tu's teasing from a mile away, so she glared at her before she could go further. “Okay, stop now!” Love whined.

The mood returned to being peaceful again. Tu focused on the food they ordered and remained quiet to give Love time to collect her thoughts. Love began, “I want P’Miw to give me clarity. I don’t want to be impulsive and just act on my emotions—she deserves the best. I want to understand if what I feel is something significant or if it’s just mere admiration from being close.”

Tu appreciated Love’s consideration, as it showed how much she respected and valued P’Miw in her life. Love continued, “What if I realize my feelings and it’s too late? And if I don’t love P’Miw in that way, what do I do? I can’t let P’Miw keep hiding and hurting like this.” Tu could see the guilt on Love’s face and decided to step in, knowing Love’s tendency to overthink and hold herself accountable for everything.

“Okay, stop overthinking this,” Tu stated firmly. “Firstly, stop blaming yourself. P’Miw would never want that, and believe me, she doesn’t blame you at all. Secondly, I don’t think there’s a deadline for this. Don’t rush yourself—you might end up hurting both P’Miw and yourself.” Love calmed significantly, but worries still lingered. Tu probed, “What are you thinking, Love?” 

“What if we are together but our life as celebrities isn’t all flowery? What if we end up hurting each other? I am scared.” Love's fear was apparent in the way she spoke.

Tu sensed Love's fear. “Why think about the ending even before the beginning? I understand all your fears, but don’t you trust yourself and P’Miw enough to fight for each other? Things won’t always be perfect, and our life in the spotlight makes it difficult, with thousands ready to impose their opinions. But if you both love each other enough, you will find your way back to each other. You know P’Miw better than anyone; you know how much she values you. Trust her to stay and trust yourself to always choose P’Miw when things get tough. Believe me, you both will be able to face the world once you realize that P’Miw is worth taking all the risks.”

Love felt an overwhelming urge to cry, filled with gratitude for having Tu as her friend, but she controlled herself. “Thank you, Tu. You don’t know how grateful I am to have you with me.” Tu smiled warmly. “Love, we are friends. I will definitely be here for you in whatever way I can.” 

“So, what’s the plan now?” Tu asked.

“I honestly don’t know. I just want P’Miw to feel safe and assured that I won’t leave her for something she can’t control.”

Tu racked her brain for ideas and lit up when she thought of a perfect plan. “Love, why don’t you take P’Miw on a vacation? You are always surrounded by staff and mostly meet each other for work. A vacation, just the two of you, will give you a chance to spend time together without cameras or any third-party presence. This will also allow you to come to terms with your feelings for P’Miw. Without work, you can be yourselves in a relaxed atmosphere, and you might loosen up the tight hold you’ve placed on yourself.”

Love was instantly sold on the idea. Any chance to be with P’Miw was highly welcomed, and the thought of spending time together without work schedules felt like a dream. “Yas, it’s a fantastic idea! Both P’Miw and I can use a vacation; we’ve been working hard for the past few months. We need to relax.” Tu felt proud to help her friend; she could see Love’s excitement and joy. This was the first time Love had smiled so brightly since she walked into the café. Tu smiled to herself, thinking that maybe Love’s self-realization wasn’t far off, and she might soon hear some good news.

Later that evening, Love went to meet Milk, or rather, she convinced Milk to have an abrupt meeting. She may or may not have used her charms to her advantage, knowing well how defenseless Milk was when it came to her. This time, Love was ready to persuade Milk for their trip.

“P’Miwwww!!” Love called out before throwing herself into Milk's arms. Although she didn’t show it off much on camera or in public, she was very clingy to her P’Milk, and she liked to keep this affection as their little secret. Milk loved holding Love; it made her feel closer to her, even when she convinced herself that Milk was close but yet so far.

“So what happened, Nong? You wanted to see me urgently. I wanted you to rest after meeting with N’Tu. We only have a few days of rest before we need to get back to work. You could have called or texted me; why tire yourself by coming to my place?” Milk asked.

“P' Miw, are you tired of me? You don’t want to meet me anymore? I’m resting right now, see? You are holding me; it’s so comfy,” Love replied, looking up at Milk from their embrace.

Milk blushed from their close proximity and turned away to distract herself, worried she might do something she would regret.

“It’s not like that, Nong. I just wanted you to get some rest. I would never get tired of you. So what's the reason for dropping by?” she asked.

Love squeezed Milk tightly once before letting go of their embrace and sitting properly on the couch, facing Milk with her big, boba-like eyes and a ready pout to disarm her in case she tried to refuse.

“Phi, we’ll be having a break after our next meeting, so I was wondering if we could go on vacation together.”

“Oh,” Milk said, not expecting this.

“It will just be us. We can be ourselves without any cameras or staff. Even though we spend most of our time together, it’s usually due to work. I want us to enjoy some time together without any burdens. We need a vacation to relax; things have been quite hectic lately.”

Milk didn’t know what to do because she wanted to be with Love, especially without the pressures of work. However, she was afraid of revealing her true feelings and potentially hurting Love. But she couldn't deny Love; she would do anything for her, she would follow her to the end of the world. The thought of spending more time with Love made her feel giddy.

“That sounds like a nice plan. I agree that we need a vacation. So where are we going?” Milk asked.

Love was overjoyed to hear Milk agree to the trip. She jumped back into Milk’s arms, knowing that Milk would always hold her and never let her fall.

“Thank you so much, P’Miw! I’m so happy. I promise I have everything planned, so just trust me on this.”

Seeing Love this happy made Milk glad she agreed to the trip. “So where are we going? And obviously, I trust you, Nong. I’m not at all worried when I’m with you. You are free to plan the trip, and I will follow you anywhere.”

“Thank you again, P’Miw. I won’t disappoint you. For the place, I want to go overseas to South Korea. Is that okay?”

“Wow, I’m excited about this trip now! Of course, it’s okay! I’ve wanted to go to South Korea for quite some time. Thank you, Nong, for planning this. I don’t think I would have even thought of taking a vacation, even though I needed it.”

“Okay, then I will plan the trip and send it to you so we can agree on the places we both want to go and enjoy things together.”

Love felt ecstatic about the trip, and a part of her knew that it wasn't for the trip itself, but for the fact that it's with P'Milk, she decides to let herself fell without overthinking this for once. But she had one more task,before the vacation.

Namtan walked into a restaurant and looked around, searching for someone until she spotted someone waving at her from a table deeper inside where they could have more privacy. She approached the woman already seated at the table. “N’Love? What’s up? You wanted to meet suddenly?” Namtan asked. They were close, but they weren’t in the same circle of friends; Namtan was more included in Love’s circle because of Film. Still, they had never met one-on-one like this before.

“Hello, Phi. I’m sorry if I disturbed you with this sudden meeting. I know it’s surprising because we’ve never met like this before, just the two of us, but I wanted to talk to you. I hope that’s okay?” Love replied, acknowledging Namtan’s confusion.

“Don’t apologize, Nong. You can always meet me if you need help or want to talk about anything. I don’t mind at all,” Namtan reassured her.

“Thank you, Phi. You have always been so nice to me, and I appreciate you coming today. Why don’t we order our meals and then continue our conversation?” Love suggested.

Namtan and Love ordered their meals and settled down. Namtan had a hunch that Love wanted to talk about Milk since Milk had already told her how Love invited her to join for a trip overseas. However, she was unsure about the direction of the conversation. Love knew Milk best, so Namtan didn’t know how much help she could be. Perhaps Love wanted to talk about Film instead, but she couldn't be certain anymore.

“Phi, I wanted to talk about P’Milk,” Love stated, her expression serious. Namtan sensed that this conversation held more weight than she initially thought. “I recently discovered that P’Milk loves me, romantically,” Love continued. Namtan almost choked on her food from shock. She could see the fear in Love’s eyes. “It’s okay, Phi. I'm not mad about it. I’m just trying to understand P’Milk’s feelings better, which is why I asked to meet you. I hope you can help me,” Love said, trying to reassure Namtan. Namtan let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I’m sorry, N’Love. I was just worried about what was on your mind. Regarding helping you, I’m not sure how helpful I can be. You know Milk better than anyone else, so I don’t know what more I can add, but I’ll try my best to answer your questions.”

“It’s just that I can’t stop thinking that P’Milk loves me. She is so amazing and kind. I want to know if she loves me or if she loves the idea of me.”

“I can answer that for you. She loves you for who you are. There’s you, and there’s her. You both spend so much time together, showing each other both your good and flawed sides, and she loves all of it. She doesn’t think you are perfect—she is aware of your flaws—and she loves you for the person you are. Rest assured, she loves all of you, not just parts of you,” Namtan explained.

She could see Love pondering her words. “I’m sorry, Phi. She must have been hurting for so long.” Namtan noticed the guilt in Love’s expression. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault; none of you are at fault here. Why blame yourself for something you can’t control? Milk wouldn’t like you blaming yourself like this,” Namtan reassured her.

“So I heard you are taking Milk to South Korea? At least be girlfriends before going on a honeymoon?” Namtan teased to lighten the mood.

“P’Namtan!!!” Love shrieked. Thankfully, they were in a secluded spot, or Love’s reaction would have drawn unwanted attention.

Namtan couldn’t help but laugh at Love’s reaction. “Oh my gosh, look at your face! You’re a tomato.” Love could now see why she and Namtan got along so well; they were both such teases and goofballs.

Love calmed down enough to continue, “We are going on a vacation because I feel like we need it. We spend so much time together, but it’s mostly work-related. I want us to have some time together without the burden of work.” “And…” Love hesitated, and Namtan smiled warmly, encouraging her to go on. “And I was thinking that this opportunity could help me understand my feelings for P’Milk too. She deserves clarity and certainty. I don’t want to jump into a relationship on impulse and potentially hurt her more.”

Namtan felt pleased knowing how deeply Love cared for Milk and respected her feelings. “Honestly, N’Love, I respect you for how you are handling this situation. You’re trying to protect both Milk and yourself.”

“Thank you, Phi. I would never hurt P’Milk intentionally.”

“I trust you, nong, that you would never hurt P’Milk on purpose. Even Milk trusts you with this.”

“So your solution to sorting out your feelings is to take your work wife on a honeymoon? Very smooth, N’Love. I’m lowkey impressed,” Namtan teased again.

“Oh my gosh, Phi, please have mercy!” Love couldn’t stop blushing.

Their lunch went on with Namtan teasing Love while Love did her best not to turn into a permanent tomato, like her P’Milk’s favorite filter. Namtan sensed that maybe this story wasn’t as tragic as she initially thought; things might turn out well in the end. When it was time to pay the bill, Love prepared to do so since she had invited Namtan. However, Namtan immediately stopped her. “Nong, don’t. Let Phi treat you this time. If Milk ever finds out I made her work wife pay for my meal, she might kill me. I want to live longer!” Love whined, feeling overwhelmed by the teasing.