i plead the fifth
Arron picks up phone: Hello?
Emily: It’s Emily.
Aaron: What did she do?
Emily: No, like it’s me. Emily.
Aaron: What did you do?
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Spencer: According to the FBI agent monitoring my phone, I only have two emotions, sad and horny.
Aaron: You are the FBI.
Spencer: I said what I said.
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Spencer: I don’t care.
Emily: I think you do care.
Penelope: I think you have a heart as big as your ass.
Spencer: …
Emily: Some pretty thicc emotions.
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Aaron: Spencer’s missing can you find him?
Jason: You think I have him microchipped?
Aaron: … Well do you?
Jason: Ya, hang on.
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Derek: Are you going to listen to me?
Spencer: Yes, absolutely.
Derek: When?
Spencer: When you’re right.
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Emily: I need to ask you something.
JJ: Finally! Your proposing!
Emily: How did you know?
JJ: You dropped the ring five times during dinner. I’ve picked it up once.
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Spencer eating cinnamon roll: …
Penelope: Cannibalism.
Spencer confused chewing: …
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Derek: There are 20 letters in the alphabet.
Spencer: There are 26.
Derek: I must have missed u, r, a, q, t.
Spencer: Are you dyslexic?
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Spencer rolls over: Are you awake?
Derek rolls over kissing Spencer’s nose: Yes Pretty Boy?
————-
JJ rolls over: Are you awake?
Emily violently flops over: The fuck you want?
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Spencer crying: Oscar said he doesn’t love me!
Derek: I … who’s Oscar?
Spencer: The voice inside my head.
Derek: Let me speak to the bitch.
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JJ: Why are there little hand prints all over my living room wall:
Spencer looks at Henry: Why are there little hand prints all over the living room wall?
Henry: I have little hands.
Spencer: He has little hands.
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Jason: My prodigy should have the intelligence, instincts and ability of trained killer.
Spencer sleep deprivation, always cold, no food only coffee, trips over nothing: I’m so sorry!
Jason: I want him.
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Spencer: Hey Em! I got you a knife!
Emily: Thanks.
Spencer: It’s fresh too.
Emily: How can a knife be fresh?
Spencer: Pulled out my leg five minutes ago.
Emily drops knife: …
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Nurse: I’m sorry Sir but only family can see him right now.
Aaron: Bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt him right now.
Spencer barely conscience: You tell em dad.
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Spencer: How do people stay motivated? I get out of bed and I’m exhausted.
Aaron: You have to hate life so much you want revenge on its existence.
The team: …
Emily taking notes: …
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Spencer on a date with Derek: … Wait a minute… Is that Jason?
Jason in a fake mustache, hat and sunglasses sitting in the table next: …
Jason: Who’s Gideon? I’m just a random civilian.
Derek: …
Spencer: …
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JJ: Sorry I’m late I was involved with a little B and E.
Emily: You went to a breakfast in bed without me?
JJ: No braking and entering.
Emily: WITHOUT ME!?
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Penelope texting Derek: Help I’m being kidnapped!
Derek: Where are you?
Penelope: I’m with some stranger in his car!
Derek: I’ll call Spencer.
Spencer picks up his phone: Hello.
Derek: Where is Penelope? She says she’s being kidnapped.
Spencer driving: What do you mean? She’s in the backseat right now.
Derek: …
Spencer: Let me call you back. *hangs up*
Spencer: … My hair will grow back.
Penelope pushing on door: Who are you?!
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Aaron licks finger to get dirt off Spencer face:
Spencer: What are you doing?
Aaron: Oh god! I’ve become my mother! I’ve been trying to avoid becoming my father for so long, I didn’t see it coming.
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The team at an art gallery:…
Spencer: Wanna make out?
Derek grinning: Trying to get me in trouble by touching the art?
Spencer: Someone had to nail this artwork to wall.
David: … Aaron there doing it again.
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Penelope: So I’ve been teaching Reid modern slang.
Aaron: That explains why he said “Here’s the tea, and f.y.i I tore it up.” when he handed in his paperwork this morning.
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Spencer on his 13th cup of coffee, no food, no sleep: I am unstoppable! I am the angel of death!
Aaron: I’m calling a medic.