Can't Help It

DAN

The train moved past the grassy hills of England and I lay my head against the back of the seat and sighed. I was beginning to wonder whether moving to Hogwarts after being homeschooled for 5 years was a good idea. Mum had asked me to stay with her at home but my results from my OWLs hadn't been quite up to the level I had expected.

So without my mum knowing I had enrolled at Hogwarts for my 6th year. I had been pretty sure that I wouldn't get in but a few weeks later I had received a letter by owl saying that they would accept me on the condition that I took tutoring sessions from one of their grade 7 students. I hadn't been particularly happy about that last part but if it meant I would get into the school then I decided to go with it.

Two weeks before I was supposed to leave I had announced it to my family. My little brother had been outraged that he still had to stay at home while I got to go off to the exciting wizard school. I tried to tell him that it wasn't that exciting and that I was going there to work but I couldn't help feeling excited myself.

Finally I was going to a place were I didn't have to hide. I had lived in a mostly muggle town all my life and had never been around witches or wizards of my own age until now.

Boarding the train had been the hard part, mum had dropped me off and said good bye but hadn't wanted to come into the bustling busy London train station. I had never been to London before, having grown up in Wokingham, but as soon as we reached the city I'd felt a strange air about it and it made me want to stay.

I had made sure to get to the train station early incase the Hogwarts Express was particularly busy. I'd had to wait in a long line to get through to the platform on the other side of one of the barriers between stations. A letter from the deputy principal had informed me of how to get through to platform 9 and 3/4. Something about having two students arrive by flying car once and wanting to make sure I knew how to get onto the platform.

Finally I had found an empty carriage, stowed my heavy trunk above the seat and slumped down to rest my tired feet. I pulled out my wand and cast an incognito spell on the carriage door so that I wouldn't be disturbed. I kicked my feet up on the seat across from my and tried to get a bit of sleep.

I soon realised that this was going to be impossible, there were too many things to worry about. Why had I thought this would be a good idea? Arriving at the beginning of the second last year of school when every one else would already have their friend groups who they've known for the past 5 years. I had forced all these anxious thoughts out of my head until now but they all seemed to be rushing back tenfold.

I had also been informed in my letter that I would be taking the sorting ceremony along with the other year 1s. I was excited to find out my house but knowing that I was going to be the only 16 year old among a group of 11 year olds made it sound less so.

Giving up on sleep I decided to watch people walking up and down the train past my car. I wondered how they managed to do that and not fall over, if I had tried to walk as the train hurtled along the tracks I would have fallen straight on my ass. Just as I though this I saw a dark haired boy about my height trip and stumble before regaining his footing and continuing on. I smiled as I saw him look about quickly to make sure nobody had seen him. He was a nice looking boy, pale complexion with jet black hair the fell loosely against his face in a nice fringe. I frowned to myself and looked away. The annoying question of 'who am I' popped into my head for about the millionth time, it was a question I'd been struggling to answer for years. Deciding that I had more important things to worry about I shoved all of that away and stood up to open my trunk.

I pulled some of my school textbooks out. I hadn't given them more than a glance over the summer and I was only now beginning to regret that. What if the rest of the year had already read through them and knew what we were doing this term? So many things to worry about, why had I thought this was a good idea? Brushing my hair out of my eyes anxiously I opened my first book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

A few hours later I was working through my last book and had taken to skimming parts that looked important when the train finally shuddered to a halt. It was dark outside but I could see lights off in the distance and a few lamps lighting the station, onto which hundreds of students were already piling out of the train clad in their black robes. I hurriedly went to put my books away and noticed that none of the other students were taking their trunks. I left mine in the car and walked outside.

That was when I realised that I was still wearing my muggle clothes. No robes what so ever, I had been so enthralled in my reading that I had completely forgotten to get changed into the uniform. Worried that the train was going to pull out of the station and that I was going to get left behind I snapped open my trunk again and grabbed my school cloak. I quickly wrapped and fastened it around my shoulders before dashing down the corridor.

Of course it was a typical English evening and a light drizzle had begun. As I hurried in the direction of the other students who were laughing and chattering I realised that I was still wearing my grey sneakers. I rolled my eyes and trudged on wrapping my cloak tightly around me. Thank god I had chosen to wear my usual black jeans and black shirt, at least it didn't stand out too much, as long as I kept the cloak around me they would never know.

Finally I caught up with the other students and saw them waiting by some empty carriages. In groups of six the students were piling into these carriages. As I arrived I watched a carriage get pulled away by some invisible 'thing'. I doubted that would be the weirdest thing I saw tonight. I made sure to steer clear of the front of the carriage when it was my turn to get in. Me being me managed to trip on my cloak as I stepped into the carriage. I was the last one to get in and as soon as I had sat down it lurched off in the direction of a large shadow in the distance that could only be Hogwarts.

The five other people in the carriage were giving me odd looks and I wasn't sure what to say. So I scowled in their directions, I had never been outright mean but I certainly wasn't that friendly to people I had just met. I was also not in a great mood, my hair was sopping and if I didn't do a straightening charm soon it was going to dry curly and that was going to be a pain in the ass to get out again. I had wanted to bring my muggle straightener but my Mum had argued against it saying that their would be no power sockets at Hogwarts. I could also feel my feet squelching around in my sopping sneakers. I felt someone looking at me and glanced up to see the boy I had seen stumble outside my train car. He didn't meet my gaze and glanced down at my now near black with mud sneakers. I pulled my feet under my cloak.

Next to the dark haired boy was a girl with blond hair that had been dyed at the tips with pink. Somehow her hair had managed to stay curled and light and... dry. I decided she must have spelled it. But.. was that glitter I saw in it. She smiled at me when she saw me looking at her hair and I glanced away embarrassed.

On her other side was a lanky boy with thick brown hair falling over his forehead. He was looking into the distance and humming. I saw a prefect badge pinned on the front of his robes, it had green on it so I assumed he was in -- was Slytherin the green house? I didn't know, my mum had bought Hogwarts, A History for me but I had been an idiot and had decided that I didn't need it.

Of course I knew there were 4 Hogwarts houses, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. I hadn't heard much about Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw but I had heard plenty about the other two. I had been quite young when the dark wizard known as Lord Voldemort had been at large. He had been a Slytherin and the guy who had ended him -- Harry Potter -- had been a Gryffindor.

I wanted to look at the two people alongside me but couldn't do so without drawing attention to myself so I stayed silent and pretended to be fascinated with the splintering corner of the carriage. I still felt the dark haired boys gaze on me and the more he looked the warmer I felt my face getting.

It was a relief when the carriage finally slowed to a stop. Ignoring any manners I'd once had I leapt out of the carriage before anyone could move and walked swiftly to follow other students heading up the great castle that was Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardy.

Two huge doors loomed up as I followed other students up a winding path. They were open slightly and I could see warm light seeping out. It looked warm and friendly and I found my steps quickening slightly in excitement. On either side of me I could here other students talking about the upcoming year. But then there were some comments that made it past the unidentifiable chatter and I had to wonder if my ears had picked them out specifically to hear.

"Who do you think that is?"

"Is he wearing muggle clothes?"

"Are those muggle shoes?"

The doors were pushed open fully as the huge mass of students reached the doors. I began to freeze up, I wasn't sure where to go from now. I slowed down just outside the door, my breathing getting panicky. My letter had mentioned nothing of what would happen when I got to school, was I supposed to go somewhere else? What if they had forgotten that I was a knew student? Suddenly a hand grasped my shoulder lightly and I flinched slightly as a delicate finger grazed my neck. Automatically I went to push the persons hand away and turned to see the dark haired boy with his eyes raised at me.

"Daniel Howell?" He asked as people steered around us, some muttering angrily about holding up the traffic.

"Yeah, Dan." I said correcting him.

"I'm Phil." He said biting his lip nervously. "I uh... Headmistress McGonagall asked me to show you where to go when you go to school.

"Oh um Ok." I said as he lead the way up to the large doors. Most of the students had gone through now and were filing towards another set of doors. Suddenly their voices seemed to get louder and echo, I thought I could hear benches scrapping against stone.

I gasped as Phil and I pulled up outside what could only be the Great Hall. Four long benches went from where we were standing to the other side of the room were the teachers table was.

"This is the Great Hall." Phil said leading me in. I followed trying to ignore the people who began to stare as they sat down. "Professor has asked for you to wait at the front with her for the first years." Phil said.

I cringed slightly and drew my cloak around me. All these eyes watching me were getting too much. To my relief a door opening off to the side of the Great Hall distracted most of the students and I watched as about 40 little kids walked nervously out in front of the four tables. Phil walked as far as the front of one of the tables before giving me a reassuring smile and sitting down. Professer McGonagall left her seat from the teachers table and walked down to the new students. I felt my cheeks getting really hot as I realised that I was the first in line, that everyone was, once again, staring at me and this time there weren't looking away. They wanted to know just as badly as I did what house the homeschooled wizard was going to get sorted into.

"When your name is called please come up and sit on the stool and the sorting hat will be placed on your head." She said speaking loudly over the students. From the left corner of the room a stool and hat were brought over and set in front of her. All was silent for a moment and I watched as every single student focused their eyes on the hat near me. I jumped as the hat opened it's mouth and began to sing.

It sung about the four houses and their equality. I watched the hat for a bit before my gaze was drawn back to the crowd in front of me, I wasn't great standing out in front of crowds. When the hat had finished singing its song Professer McGonagall pulled out a long list which I assumed had names on.

"Daniel Howell." She said loudly and clearly. I heard a few murmurs of interest as I stepped up to the hat and cast the headmistress a confused look. She had tight lips but I thought I saw them become slightly less thin in what might have been a smile. A few murmurs of interest ran through the hall as the hat was put down on my head.

What surprised me most was the tiny voice that spoke up as soon as it touched my hair.

"Hmmm." It said in my ear. "Yes very interesting."

I cringed as a slight shiver ran down my back.

"Yes you are an interesting one, many things will change for you young man. You could do in any house you seem to be fairly well rounded but there is one in particular that I think you would thrive in. Can you guess?"

"Uh." I said nervously glancing out at the crowd.

"No? Well then I'll have to say it. Slytherin!"

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed my father had been a Gryffindor and so had my mother. I had heard many things about Slytherin from my parents and most of them were bad. But I tried to keep my head high as I fixed my fringe on impulse and walked over to a table that was clapping. A few people near the back had stood up to get a better look at me and I took a seat near the front.

A few people reached forward to shake my hand. They had enough respect for their headmistress not to bombard me with questions as she called out the next names but I could see it in their eyes. Some people glared at me from other tables including my own. But there were some who just looked curious.

"Hey there." Someone said from my right side and held out a hand. I shook the guys hand "I'm PJ." he said. A mop of brown hair was tucked under a wizard hat, that I noticed majority of the students were wearing. I recognised his face as well as the shiny prefect badge pinned to his cloak.

"I'm Dan." I said smiling slightly, this guy seemed nice enough.

"Welcome to Slytherin." He grinned before turning his attention back to the front of the Great Hall.

As each student got called up I found myself looking at the people in the Great Hall. As the 'sorting ceremony' as I'd heard one of the other boys call it, dragged on I found my eyes drifting back to one of the middle tables. My eyes found the boy who had shown me in, Phil. I found myself staring at him for a bit, he was nice to look at and as soon as I admitted this to myself I forced myself to look away.

You're here to work Dan. I mutter in my head and focused back on the sorting ceremony.