The News Breaks
The Evening Prophet
Newt Year Surprise!
1st January 1931
It’s been the biggest question of the past three years.
When will Mr Newt Scamander, best-selling author and internationally famous magizoologist, finally ask Miss Porpentina Goldstein of Brooklyn New York, to marry him?
The two have been attached at the hip for over a year, never appearing in public without the other. The two met in New York in 1926, and five years later, I am finally able to report on an event the wizarding world has been expecting since mid 1929 when she first started travelling with him!
You have to credit the lady with an unending amount of patience that you must need to be the girlfriend of a famous wizard. It has taken him an astounding amount of time to get his act together. They have travelled the world together, both publishing highly successful books. Lesser women would have given up. Not Porpentina Goldstein.
However, it would not be Mr Scamander and Miss Goldstein if they didn’t send us all into a spiral! At the Ministries New Year Gala, held at the Conevant Hotel in London, elder brother and head of the MLE Mr Scamander the elder (unfortunately extremely happily married) stepped up to the podium and astounded us all! Not only has Mr Scamander the younger finally popped the only question that matters, but they signed and sealed the deal without so much as a whisper to us! How scandalous.
They were married on the 28th December at the families estate in Devonshire and have only released one statement so far. The statement, on behalf of both Mr and Mrs Newt Scamander, is simply “We were married, and we are very happy, please allow us privacy to enjoy our married life.”
The speed of the marriage raised several eyebrows, and there have been some questions asked as to whether we will be announcing the birth of a baby Scamander within the next few months, for there are few better reasons for eloping. Only time will tell! But I expect that many member of our society will be watching the new Mrs Scamander’s extremely slender waist for impending signs.
We, here at the Daily Prophet, wish Mr and Mrs Scamander all the best for their future, and I personally have never been happier to collect thirty galleons from the department pot for being there when the story broke.
Henrietta Lovegood
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The Love Potion
Surprise wedding for the New Year
2nd January 1931
Newt Scamander, the eligible youngest son of Ex-auror and ex-head of MLE Perseus Scamander and high-class Hippogriff breeder Diana, has finally been taken off the market. And not by a lady of his own social standing, to the disappointment of many of the ladies of our high society.
Miss Porpentina Goldstein, a plain but ambitious American spinster, somehow managed to snap up the heart of the elusive Mr Scamander. And, after two years as his travelling companion in his search for magical creatures around the world, Miss Goldstein seems to have finally got what she set out to achieve. A wedding ring.
At the New Year’s party, the extraordinarily handsome Theseus Scamander announced to the stunned crowd of ministry employees, socialites and the crème de la crème of wizarding society, that Mr Scamander married Miss Goldstein on the 28th December at his families home in Devonshire, the seat of the Scamander families since the thirteenth century.
The speed of the wedding, without an engagement period, raises several question, the clearest of which is: when are we to expect a baby Scamander?
We here at The Love Potion have raised a few eyebrows at the relationship, and a few more have gone up at the speed of the engagement. We will be watching the new Mrs Scamander’s waist over the next few months and we can only hope that Mr Scamander doesn’t live to regret his decision.
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All American Witch Weekly
A Transatlantic Love Affair
3rd January 1931
Some of you may remember our article on one Mr Newt Scamander published eighteen months ago. He has recently published his third edition of the famous Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and rumours are that he will be devoting an entire tome to the magical beasts of North America.
The internationally renowned magizoologist was visiting New York on a vacation from his travels around the world researching magical creatures. But between book signings and meetings with MACUSA, it seems that Mr Scamander has been courting auror Porpentina Goldstein.
Miss Goldstein travelled with Mr Scamander, researching her own highly influential book having hit the market in mid-November last year Magical Ministries of the Wizarding World. If you take a peek at the dedication page, her regard for Mr Scamander becomes instantly apparent.
Anyone who has seen the two have been unable to deny that it was merely a matter of time before they admitted the depth of their regard. They almost make you believe in the stories.
Miss Goldstein first met Mr Scamander when he came to New York in 1926, working with him to defeat the creature which terrorised out city that year, leading to the capture of Grindlewald. Grindlewald subsequently escaped a month later.
But Miss Goldstein and Mr Scamander remained firm friends, and in 1929, Miss Goldstein joined Mr Scamander, and you hardly see one without the other now. However, despite their travels and general expectation, no engagement was announced. The couple remained firmly silent on the subject of their relationship and more than one unscrupulous journalist who tried to find out more met with Miss Goldstein’s impeccable defensive spells.
But that seems to have all changed. In true Scamander and Goldstein style, nothing was quite as simple as announcing an engagement. Oh no.
On New Year’s Eve, at a gala for Ministry employees and families, the British wizarding high society and international ambassadors, Mr Scamander and Miss Goldstein announced their marriage to the wizarding world!
Taking place on the 28th December, the elopement seems to have raised a few fine British eyebrows as to the need for such haste and the lack of a society wedding. Having spent time in wizarding high society I can completely understand why a plain dealing all American woman like Miss Goldstein would not wish for the fripperies entailed.
“It was inevitable,” a ministry employee who worked with the pair has said, “They were gaga for each other. No-one can believe it took them this long to get hitched.”
But hitched they are! It’s terribly romantic.
The new Mr and Mrs Scamander make you believe in fairytales, and here at the All American Witch, we wish the happy couple all the best in their marriage and in their future travels!
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Witch Weekly
2nd January
The insider on the marriage of the decade.
Thousands of hearts across the United Kingdom collectively broke on New Year’s eve, when it was announced that Mr Newt Scamander, internationally renowned magizoologist and heartthrob, is officially no longer a bachelor.
Mr Scamander proposed to his long term field assistant, Porpentina Goldstein, an unassuming but not disfigured American witch he met while in New York in 1926, on Christmas Day. During his visit, Mr Scamander apprehended Mr Grindlewald whilst stopping a magical attack on the American city. He returned in 1927 to visit Miss Goldstein, and in 1929, she left America to travel with him.
It was rather scandalous, travelling with an unmarried woman, but neither seemed to care much what people thing over their relationship. Even now. Despite having only proposed on Christmas Day, Miss Goldstein and Mr Scamander were wed in a private ceremony at his families ancestral home in Devonshire amid their closest friends and family.
The wedding was announced on New Year’s Eve during the Ministerial Address, taken this year by the Head of the MLE and handsome war hero Theseus Scamander.
Sources close to the pair have suggested there might be a reason for the elopement, so we will have to watch this space.
No word yet on what the new Mrs Scamander wore to her wedding, however, given her puritan American roots, I think we can safely assume it wasn’t as dazzling as some of the stunning dresses we here at Witch Weekly have had the pleasure to see.
Alas, after months of speculation as to what was supposed to be the wedding of the decade (if Theseus Scamander’s wedding to Hippolyta Malfoy was any indication) we have been robbed of the chance to question Miss Goldstein on her plans and her dress. We can only hope that Mrs Scamander will be more forthcoming with interviews now she is married.
We wonder, Mrs Scamander, what it is like being married to a world famous magizoologist who’s capital much surely exceed your wildest expectations?
We at Witch Weekly wish the couple all the best, and congratulations on their marriage.