“You seem tense,” you murmured, gently tugging at Sevika’s hair tie to loosen her short ponytail. Seated comfortably on the couch, you had each leg on either side of her head as she sat on the floor. Reaching for the comb on the nearby lamp table, you began to brush her hair slowly, the memory of her once-long hair tugging at your heart.
“It’s Vander,” Sevika groaned, frustration clear in her voice. “He’s too weak to handle these stupid Enforcers.”
You let out a soft sigh, continuing to brush Sevika’s hair. This had become a routine now: waking up to her side of the bed empty, getting ready for work, enduring the slow drag of the day, coming home to a cold and silent house, waiting for her until the late hours of the night—sometimes, not even coming home—and finally, brushing her hair as she complained about the Enforcers. It was always about the Enforcers. It wasn’t that you despised them; they were more like persistent cockroaches, irritating but something you’d grown used to growing up in the Undercity. But lately, you might be starting to hate them—because your girlfriend just wouldn’t stop talking about them. Sevika had recently asked you to be her girlfriend—or rather, it was more like you realizing that Sevika thought you two were in a relationship already, while you had been completely oblivious. It wasn’t until she leaned in for a kiss that you stopped her to ask what exactly this relationship was, realizing that, from an outsider’s perspective, it was obvious you were much more than just friends.
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“What are you doing?” you asked, eyes wide as you grabbed her wrist, which was holding your chin.
“Kissing you…?” she replied, trailing off, her brows knitting together in confusion.
“Sevika, is this some kind of joke?”
“What joke? I was trying to kiss you.”
“Why?” you said, releasing her wrist as she quickly let go of your chin. You had liked Sevika ever since you first met as teenagers. She was the girl next door—not in the traditional sense. Sevika embodied confidence—she was far from down-to-earth and definitely not the approachable type. Yet, despite that, you were completely captivated. You’d catch glimpses of her caring nature, especially when she showed tenderness toward the children of the Undercity. She began extending that same care towards you after seeing how lonely you spent your days, making sure you were always included. Sevika had become a different woman now—tough and cold, shaped by the brutal realities of the Undercity. But despite all that, your love for her remained unchanged.
“I thought we were…” Sevika said, her ears turning red at the tips.
“We were what? Spit it out,” you replied, feeling annoyed and still thinking this was a joke.
“I thought we were together.”
“I mean, we’re always together. We practically spend every day together. What are you even talking about?”
“Are we not dating?”
At that, you felt your face go completely red. You fell silent.
“I’m sorry. I thought we were together… I assumed my feelings for you were obvious and that you felt the same, especially after all the times you told me you loved me. It was wrong to assume,” Sevika said, her voice low as she turned her back to you. Her words carried a weight you weren’t used to—apologies from Sevika were almost unheard of, her stoic and guarded nature rarely giving way to moments like this. Yet, here she was, uncharacteristically vulnerable. The shock of her apology, combined with the rawness of her confession, made your head spin. It was too much to process all at once.
You took a deep breath in.
“I still love you… and I just wanted to make it clear that I mean it romantically, not platonically. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same, so I always assumed you’d either ignore it or think I meant it in a friendly way. You’re not exactly an open book,” you said with a nervous chuckle, twiddling your thumbs.
You heard Sevika let out a frustrated groan before she slowly turned to face you again. Without warning, she pulled you into a hug, her broad frame enveloping your entire body. The suddenness of it caught you off guard, and you nearly lost your balance until her hand pressed firmly against the small of your back, steadying you. Her forehead rested against your neck, her warmth both surprising and comforting. You slowly draped your arms around her.
“How could I be so stupid?” Sevika admitted, pressing her forehead deeper into your neck, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“You’re right about the stupid part—” you were cut off by a small bite on your shoulder from Sevika. You giggled.
“I never asked you to be my girlfriend. I didn’t think I needed to because we’re already so close,” Sevika explained, wrapping her arms around you a little tighter, as if, without doing so, you might disappear. The mood felt heavier, so you decided to tease her since you weren’t used to seeing Sevika so vulnerable.
“What if I didn’t want to be your girlfriend…” you said, struggling to hold back a laugh. Sevika immediately pulled her arms away and placed her hands on your shoulders, looking at you with a furrowed brow. She looked stressed, as if you’d just pierced her heart.
“I respect your decision not wanting to be with me—” you quickly interrupted her.
“I’m just teasing you. Why do you look so stressed? I told you I loved you, and you thought I’d reject you? Come on,” you laughed, gently cupping her cheeks. She became even more embarrassed. Your heart raced as Sevika’s hands slowly drew you closer.
“Would you like to be my girlfriend?” Sevika asked, leaning closer to your face.
“You’re so cheesy,” you giggled before pressing a kiss to her lips. Sevika wrapped her arms around your waist, and you draped yours around her neck. The kiss was soft and gentle, surprisingly so coming from Sevika. It felt like she was afraid she might break you.
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You tugged a strand of her hair, just enough to show your irritation without hurting her.
“Can you stop talking about these damn Enforcers for one day? I’m tired of hearing about them,” you said, reaching for the hair oil on the lamp table.
“These Enforcers need to be dealt with. They’re attacking our people. Vander’s just a pawn now, weak and afraid. I need to—” Sevika was cut off by another tug on her hair.
“Shush. Like I said, I’m tired of hearing about them. Right now, I’m more interested in my girlfriend,” you said, opening the hair oil and rubbing it into your palms. You started to gently massage her scalp, beginning at her hairline. Sevika let out a relieved sigh and leaned her head back against the couch pillow. With her eyes closed, you took the chance to study the contours of her face, the darkened bags under her eyes, and the subtle wrinkles at the corners of her lips.
“I can feel you staring at me,” Sevika said, a slight smirk curling at the corners of her lips.
“What? Do I need permission to look at my sweet girlfriend?” you teased. You noticed her smirk fade into a small smile.
“You’ll be charged for every second you stare at me,” Sevika said, opening her eyes.
“Oh, please. You’d wither away if I didn’t give you attention,” you replied, gently nudging her head upward. “Now, sit up a bit. I need to massage the back of your hair.”
Sevika complied, and you resumed massaging her scalp as she slowly began to massage your calf. You missed her. You truly did. The state of the Undercity had consumed her attention, leaving you with a hollow feeling. You hated admitting it, but you were jealous of her "friends"—they were more like loose allies, but that didn’t matter. You were still jealous. From the start of your relationship, Sevika had always steered you away from what she considered illicit activities, saying she could never forgive herself if anything happened to you. But the desire to be with her always outweighed the fear of the Undercity, and you wanted to spend every waking moment by her side.
“You think I can join you next time?” you asked as you massaged the back of her head. Sevika immediately stopped massaging your leg.
“No,” Sevika replied, offering no further explanation.
“Oh, come on. At least tell me why not, or better yet, tell me what you actually do during the day,” you said, irritation creeping into your voice. You finished oiling her hair and began wiping your hands with the towel beside you. You nudged her head slightly away from you, signaling you were done, but Sevika didn’t move.
“No means no, and I already told you why. I don’t want you getting hurt,” Sevika said, returning to massage your calf. As you started to think of a response, a troubling thought clouded your mind.
“Are you cheating on me?” you asked, tugging at her hair more harshly. Sevika winced and immediately grabbed your wrist, pulling it toward her face.
“Do you really think I’d cheat on the person I’ve loved for over 10 years?” Sevika said, irritation now in her voice.
“Well, people cheat all the time. I have every right to question you. I don’t know what you do all day, and sometimes you don’t even come home, leaving me worried and stressed all night. Are you going back to that fucking brothel?” you snapped, still trying to free your wrist without success.
Before you and Sevika got together, you remembered passing by Babette’s brothel. The place disgusted you—not because of the people working there, but because of the people who visited, trying to fill their emptiness with sex. You knew that if someone had enough money, they could buy a person there. It filled you with sadness and disgust when you saw Sevika walk into that place. You never told her you saw her, and what was even more surprising, you continued to love her despite it.
“What brothel? What are you talking about?” Sevika asked, still holding your wrist.
“The brothel run by Babette... I saw you go there once...” you replied, sadness now replacing the irritation you felt. Sevika laughed. Without thinking, you kneeled her lightly in the face, just enough to express your frustration but never to hurt her. You would never hurt her, not even in this moment. Sevika let go of your wrist.
“Stop laughing and get up,” you said, attempting to stand, but Sevika grabbed your ankles to keep you seated.
“I never went to that brothel for those reasons. I went there to repay Madam Babette. She lent me money. I was so in love with you—still am—that I felt like stepping into those places would be like cheating on you,” she explained, slowly releasing your ankles. You suddenly felt foolish for questioning her.
“You have every right to question me. I won’t blame you for that,” Sevika continued, her tone softening. “I just... I just feel the need to protect you. That’s all. And if you’re wondering what I’ve been doing these past few days, all I’ve been doing is trying to come up with a plan to take on the Enforcers at Vander’s bar.” She grabbed your wrist again and pressed a quick kiss to it.
“I’m sorry… I should have trusted you,” you said, gently running your fingers through her hair with your other hand. Sevika continued to press kisses on your wrist and forearm.
“I love you…” Sevika murmured, halting her kisses and releasing your wrist.
“Ugh, don’t get all sentimental now… I love you too,” you sighed, continuing to run your fingers through her hair. You both fell into a comfortable silence, one that was long overdue after the emotional rollercoaster.
“I miss your long hair,” you said after a while.
“I hated it,” Sevika replied, closing her eyes, her body relaxing as she enjoyed your touch. You understood why she hated her long hair—it always reminded her of those Enforcers. You remembered when you had to patch her up after they beat her, yanking at her hair. She’d asked you to cut it, believing that by doing so, she could cut out that painful memory. You remembered the tears in her eyes as she watched the hair fall away, as if shedding the past.
“I know… I just miss how I used to braid it and put flowers in it. I remember when you’d want your hair braided but were too shy to ask, so you'd give me flowers, just so I’d offer. You were always so cute like that,” you said, chuckling softly.
“Please don’t remind me. I did so many ridiculous things just to get your attention,” Sevika sighed, her mind drifting to the past.
“Like that time you tried to make chocolate for me because you found out I liked it, but you had no idea how to make it, so you grabbed random ingredients and almost burned down both your house and mine?” you laughed. Sevika didn’t laugh, just offering a small smile.
“Do you remember that time you tried to make me jealous by kissing that guy, even though you couldn’t stand him?” Sevika said with a smirk. It was now her turn to laugh, and you flushed red from the embarrassment.
“Well, do you remember the time you tried to kiss me because you thought we were already in a relationship?” You didn’t get to finish before Sevika interrupted, biting your hand.
“Ouch! That was uncalled for,” you laughed.
“You deserved it,” she muttered, her voice softening. “Now, please keep playing with my hair.”
She would always be hesitant when asking for things like that, but you decided not to tease her. Instead, you continued to run your fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head every so often.