Kate-
Kate could feel the cold front before it hit. The wind smelled like up North, and down in the little New Mexico town she had finally settled in, that was rare. It’s about time, Kate thought. It was four days before Christmas Eve and it had been in the high 70s during the afternoon, and nothing felt like Christmas. The lights were displayed on the outside of their pueblo house, the tree was up in the living room, Claire had put reindeer antlers on top of her car, Aaron and Clemintine were ready for the Christmas play at school, but still Kate felt like it was just any other time of year. She had done her shopping, and watched some Christmas classics she had never seen growing up, all in an attempt to muster up some yuletide spirit, but it evaded her. She was hoping a strong, cold, breeze would wake her up to the holidays.
Kate grabbed the last bag of groceries and slammed the car door shut. The movement rustled the bags and Kate whipped around to look behind her as she was sure she had heard someone whisper her name. With nobody there, Kate took a second to compose herself. She hadn’t been jumpy like this in years, not since they had first returned from The Island. Christmas was not the time to regress, so Kate put the whole thing out of her mind, and walked inside.
Jingle Bell Rock blared inside the house and Kate smiled despite herself. Claire was definitely in the Christmas spirit. Setting the bags down on the counter, Kate sidled up behind Claire and gave her a peck on the cheek. She was mixing cookie batter, and she offered Kate the spoon to lick. Kate did so, and Claire smiled at her before licking the spoon herself.
“So bad news,” Kate began, and Claire looked up troubled, “they didn’t have any green sprinkles.”
“Oh! That’s alright, I have a few, but not enough for two batches. I can just make extra red ones.”
“Where’s Aaron?”
“He’s down the street at Clem’s, Cassidy is having a bunch of the neighborhood kids over for a Christmas party.”
“Do we need to go help out?”
“No, Cassidy made it clear this is her gift to the parents, take a night off.”
Kate opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, contemplating the life she had managed to hold together for the past 13 years. Years full of nights off. Kate had run for so long, by the time they got back from The Island, she was tired. She was ready to be locked away for the rest of her life, and on the Ajira plane back to the real world, she had come to terms with that reality. But the United States government had other plans. The CIA was very interested in where these missing planes were going, and figured out most of what was going on with The Island after digging through confidential files about nuclear testing in the Pacific. When Kate returned, she wasn’t even arrested. After only a minor detention in a cozy room in the private airbase they were dropped at, Kate was a free woman.
Claire, however, had a much harder journey, and Kate didn’t abandon her to walk it alone. It took 6 months for her to meet Aaron again, a year for her to sleep through the night, and even now, she still can’t handle the rain. During her time on The Island alone, her camp completely flooded and she woke up underwater. Now, anytime there’s a light mist, Claire shuts herself in the attic. High ground. This is part of why they moved to New Mexico.
“You alright, Kate?” Claire asked, breaking Kate from her reverie.
“Mmhmm, just tired. The store was crazy,” Kate sipped her beer and wandered off to wrap Christmas presents.
Jack-
Four years they had known one another, and for four years he had missed every Christmas. Whether it was Island drama, doctor drama, or relationship drama, something had held Jack back from spending Christmas with the woman he loved. To be fair to himself, Jack had never been one for holidays. They were just another day requiring some societally mandated enjoyment, and Jack had thought himself above that for most of his life. But his life was over, and he couldn’t spend Christmas with Kate even if he wanted to, even if he tried with all his might, he had missed his chance. Just like everything with her, he had missed his fucking chance.
Jack watched Kate sip her beer in the kitchen with Claire. The way she moved the bottle from the counter to her lips, the way her eyes were glossed over as she was thinking deeply, the way she jumped when Claire asked if she was okay, he watched it all, wishing he could truly be there.
If I could just touch her face one more time…
But you can’t, so stop torturing yourself, go somewhere else. Check on Hurley.
She’s so close…
Jack extended his ghostly hand, reaching for Kate’s curly brown hair, but it moved right through. How he had loved to pet her hair in bed as they cuddled. He loved how her hair did its own bidding, never fully listening to what Kate wanted from it. Jack loved her hair and as he thought about the feeling of it between his fingers, Kate pushed it back from her face and looked right at Jack.
If Jack’s heart was still beating it would have stopped again. Her bright green eyes were locked with his for a fraction of a second, and it was like losing her all over again when she walked away. The stab from the Man in Black was nothing compared to the stab of seeing her and not being able to say anything. The urge to communicate had never come over him so strongly. Communication had never been his strong suit. Even as the leader of the survivors, he had managed a few good speeches, but letting people in and telling them his thoughts, feelings, and plans was not something Jack was good at. But Kate… he would let Kate read the writing on his soul if it meant he could hold her again.
He would tell her he was sorry. She would ask what for, and Jack would have to figure out where to start. From the beginning he had underestimated her, and that led down a path of many mistakes on Jack’s part. Telling her she couldn’t come along on the many Island adventures was his way of protecting her, but now, all these years later, he realized she could protect herself. She needed to know that he believed in her, trusted her. He would apologize for failing so miserably during their time off The Island together. He was a broken person, and she deserved better. He would be better for her, if he could. He would do anything for her.
Kate sat on the floor of her bedroom, a pile of toys to one side, and wrapping materials on the other, but she was just sitting there, occasionally taking a sip of her beer, Christmas carols muffled by the closed door. She seemed far away. I wonder what she’s thinking about… That’s what Jack did with most of his time. Wondered about Kate. When he wasn’t watching her he was thinking about her. Of course he gave her her privacy, but he couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful she was when she thought she was alone. She didn’t put on that fierce exterior, the one that made people love or hate her, she would dance across the room with a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, she would talk to herself, she would cry and scream and throw things. She was unequivocally her.
Jack sat down behind her. If he was corporeal he would have rested his back against Kate’s, and they could have held each other up. But instead she leaned forward and grabbed the first present to wrap. She worked silently for several minutes, only pausing to admire her work or take a sip of her drink. Jack didn’t look at the presents once, he sat there inhaling the scent of jasmine, wondering if she would ever change lotions.
Kate-
Kate’s mind was swirling with thoughts she couldn’t make sense of. She was safe, she was happy, why was she so on edge? Was it holiday jitters? There was nothing to worry about there, the presents were all wrapped, the groceries were put away with everything but the green sprinkles accounted for, Aaron knew his lines for the play, why did Kate feel so anxious?
Cassidy and Clem are coming on Christmas morning to open presents, I got Claire the crystals she wanted, there’s nothing I’m forgetting right? Kate went through the checklist in her mind, but she still felt like she was omitting something. She pulled out her cell phone and called the one person who could understand her mysterious anxiety.
“Hey Freckles, long time since we checked in. How ya doin’?” Sawyer sounded much happier than he did last time they had talked.
“Hey James, do you have a second?”
Kate took her time forming the right words to convey to Sawyer she was anxious but he shouldn’t be worried. She felt bad for dragging him down, but she needed his perspective.
“It feels like I’m forgetting something, something important, and all the while feeling like it’s not even Christmas.”
“Well Freckles, have you considered you’re forgetting about yourself? Have you done anythin’ for you? Christmas is just another day of the year, unless you make it mean somethin’.”
The two old friends chatted for a while longer, and Kate began to feel better. What he had said helped, and when they hung up, Kate considered what a Christmas present to herself would entail.
Jack-
Jack was happy Kate still had Sawyer in her life, but not in the way he had imagined it would be. He had worried for so long that he would be too vanilla for Kate, and that Sawyer’s bad boy persona would be too enticing for her to stay interested in him. But she made her choice and Sawyer made his, and Jack had messed it all up all on his own. He had her and he lost her.
Kate was tucking the Christmas presents away in secret spots all around the room after her phone call with Sawyer. Jack allowed himself a selfish glance at her backside as she bent down to hide a present under the bed. He could imagine how he would be if he were alive, he would stand behind her and bend down with her, feeling her warm, soft skin. He would bury his face in her hair, trapping her in such a vulnerable position. He imagined she would turn her head with a smile on her face, and they would stand up and she would turn to kiss him. Maybe he would gently push her onto the bed and their bodies would intertwine and they would lose track of the hours, maybe she would playfully hit him and they would go about their day. It all played out in front of him, every possibility, but when she turned and walked through him, the illusion shattered.
Claire was calling for Kate, and she went down the hall to answer her. Jack stayed behind in the room, not yet ready to let go of the pieces of his daydreams. He looked around the empty room, the room Kate shared with his sister. He had watched them go from friends, to enemies, to partners, to lovers. It had been slow and awkward, but it was a beautiful love story that Jack was so happy he got to witness in some form. They worked well together, they were each other’s anchors. Claire kept Kate still, and Kate kept Claire sane, and together they had raised Aaron, Jack’s nephew, into a respectful, smart young man. He wished he could be a part of it. But maybe he would have messed it all up, just like he had with Kate. Maybe it was better this way.
The night passed uneventfully, with Kate and Claire having a quiet dinner in. Jack was grateful Claire was the cook of the household, Kate still could barely make toast without burning it. All those years on the run, and a mother who was more concerned with her own drama than raising her daughter, left Kate without a lot of basic adult skills. She had never paid rent or bills, she didn’t know how to load a dishwasher, and the first time she had to pay the mortgage she had a meltdown. But Cassidy and Claire both helped her through it, and Jack was rooting for her the whole time, wishing he could somehow manage to do more.
When Kate and Claire went to bed, Jack allowed himself a moment to gaze at Kate’s sleeping figure. The moonlight highlighted her freckles, and Jack bent down and kissed each one, and Kate didn’t even stir. But Claire did. She sat upright and looked directly at him.
“You can’t come back, Jack.”
Kate-
It was Christmas Eve and the play was that evening. Claire had perfected Aaron’s shepherd costume, and finally fixed his crazy blonde hair to sit in a half decent style. Kate knew Aaron wasn’t Charlie’s son, but there was more than one moment that she saw Charlie’s attributes in him. His messy hair being one. As they bustled out the door, running a tad bit late as usual, Kate felt like she heard her name again. She finished locking the door, exhaling smoothly, knowing she hadn’t heard anything. It was just the wind. The wind that was now blowing over the lone dainty tree in their yard.
“Get in the car, I’ll fix it,” Kate motioned for Claire and Aaron to get in the car, and she walked over to the tree and adjusted the stake to help keep it upright. As the leaves brushed against her face, a shiver crept up her spine. It’s just a chill, the temperature is down in the 50s. She convinced herself it was nothing, for the millionth time that week, and she got in the car with her family.
Soft melodic Christmas music played over the speakers; Claire had finally gotten tired of the poppy classics she had been putting on repeat for the last month. Kate was grateful for the slower pace, and she placed her hand on Claire’s leg as they turned onto the main road. Kate remembered Sawyer’s stupid line about being a complex guy, but really Claire was the mystery. She loved astrology and spiritualism, but she was fairly grounded, especially after the therapy she went through once they had gotten home. She loved passionately, without a selfish bone in her body, but she was skeptical of everyone, even Kate sometimes.
As they turned into the school parking lot, Kate felt another chill. With the seat warmers and the heater on, it didn’t make any sense. What is wrong with me?
“Go on in, find us good seats and I’ll find you after I get a parking spot,” Kate ordered, and Claire and Aaron exited the car.
Once she found a spot, Kate took a minute to check in with herself. She wasn’t in pain, she wasn’t scared, she just felt… off. Like any second something was going to happen, and she didn’t know if it was good or bad. So she did what she always did in moments like these. She started to count.
“1… 2… 3… 4… 5.” Kate got out of the car.
Once inside, she scanned the auditorium for Claire, and was happily surprised to see her standing with someone she wasn’t expecting. She walked as quickly as she could through the crowd and threw her arms around Sawyer.
“Well, hello to you too!” He said, wrapping his arms around her. They held each other for a few moments, before breaking apart with huge smiles on their faces.
“Does Clementine know you’re here?”
“Not yet, figured I’d surprise her with her present after the show. You feelin’ any better?” Sawyer asked with an arched brow.
“Yes, James.” Kate snapped quickly as Claire gave her a look.
“Oh, sorry. I hope y’all are okay with me joining y’all for Christmas?”
“Of course! We’d love to have you!” Claire said, not looking away from Kate.
The lights dimmed and they took their seats and watched the age old tale of Christmas. Aaron and Clementine performed beautifully as a shepherd and an angel, and when it was all over they gathered for pictures.
“Daddy!” Clementine rushed up and jumped in Sawyer’s arms.
It had taken a few years for Sawyer to grieve and then accept his role as a father. He drank away most of the hush money the government had given him, and so his visits were not that often. But he called frequently, sent gifts, and when he visited he gave her his undivided attention. He was doing a great job in Kate’s eyes, and she was very proud of him. At one point she would have wondered what it would have been like to be with him, share a child with him, and live a life together. But they had never gotten close after Juliet. And she didn’t want that. She had Aaron and Claire, and while they had only begun as partners raising a child together, they had blossomed into so much more. Kate was very happy with her, and she hoped that Sawyer had found his peace in Clementine.
When their greeting was over, Claire rushed them up to the little photo booth and had them take pictures. Aaron and Clem were in front, with Sawyer, Claire, and Kate in the back, as Cassidy volunteered to be the one to take the photo. She hated pictures, a relic of her days on the other side of the law. Kate understood that feeling, and she figured that was why she had goosebumps. They all leaned in and smiled and Claire’s arm was around Kate’s waist. But she felt like she was being held on both sides, as if there were someone else in the picture. She glanced down, but there was nothing there.
“Kate, look at the camera!” Cassidy ordered, glancing behind her as a line was forming behind them.
Kate looked back up and put on a smile that was more forced than before. The feeling at her waist was gone, but she wished it wasn’t. It felt familiar.
Jack-
Jack knew it was stupid, posing in the picture as if he were there. But that was his family, and he needed to feel a part of it. Just for a moment. And she had felt him. Somehow, someway, Kate had known he was there. The gears in his brain were turning, she felt me… I know she did… maybe… maybe I could talk to her…
Jack knew it was impossible. She was probably just glancing down to make sure her outfit was right for the picture. But as the group disembarked for the house, Jack caught Kate glance back at the photo booth, with an uncertain, wistful look. He stayed at the auditorium, waiting for the right time to go back to the house. He thought about how close he seemed to be with Kate these last few days. Their connection felt stronger, but maybe that was all in his head. It wouldn’t be the first time I was crazy.
Jack wandered outside and standing right on the sidewalk was John Locke.
“Hello, Jack.”
“John, it’s been awhile,” Jack said, walking slowly past him as an invitation to join him.
“It has, I’m sorry about that. What’s on your mind, Jack? I wouldn’t be here if you were at peace.”
Jack didn’t know where to start. It had been nearly a decade since he died, and he still was coming to terms with his life. The first 8 years he spent wallowing, going back and reliving his worst moments over and over again. There was no hell, so he created his own. Occasionally he would give himself a reprieve and visit Kate, but usually the only escape he had was in his conversations with Locke. They would talk on The Island, in the Caves. Their lives were full of mistakes, and they poured them out to each other. Locke had finally accepted his past, but Jack still wasn’t good at letting go, especially when he now had all the time to atone for his failures. Looking at Locke, he felt a shred of his peace. It was like an aura around him, giving off waves of tranquility, and Jack soaked it in as they walked.
“It’s Kate… There’s just so much I wish I could say to her,” Jack finally said.
“You will, one day. You shouldn’t try to rush things, Jack. Watch her live her life, root for her, feel for her, but don’t waste seeing valuable moments in her life because you’re dwelling on your own regrets. Kate loved you and still does now.”
Jack thought about their last moment together, on the cliff. She was soaking wet from the rain, gripping her hurt shoulder. If that moment had been captured for her to look back on she would have said she was a mess, but all Jack could remember was the pure love in her eyes and her words. Their kiss was earth moving, and it wasn’t just The Island falling apart around them. Jack hadn’t allowed himself to relive that moment yet, he didn’t deserve it, but he thought about it often.
“Yes, I know that. I just know that so many of her memories of me are tainted because I was stubborn and needed control. I want her to know I was wrong for that, for doubting her, for… for, for thinking she didn’t have what it takes.”
John smiled at him knowingly, and vanished. Jack realized that he must have figured it out.
Kate-
Kate couldn’t sleep that Christmas Eve. Claire and her had talked on the ride home. Aaron had his headphones in and was blissfully unaware that his mothers were having a little spat.
“You talked to Sawyer before me?” Claire began in a small voice.
“It’s not like that Claire, I’m just anxious, on edge, I thought he would understand without worrying.”
“But you didn’t say anything at all, just acted like everything was fine!” Claire’s voice was slowly becoming more confident as she spilled her true feelings. “It really hurt to hear from Sawyer that you’re not doing well. We’re supposed to be in this together Kate.”
“I know and we are. I’m sorry. I just really didn’t want you to worry, especially right now. It’s Christmas!”
“Exactly, I want you to be happy, too!”
“I’m working on it, sweetie. It’s just some holiday blues, I guess.”
“Alright, but you’ll talk to me, okay?”
“Of course,” Kate replied, kissing Claire’s hand as she pulled into the driveway.
Now as she laid in bed, Kate felt like she was drowning in a violent sea of emotions. Wave after wave of regret came surging through her mind, and it all left her sad and confused. She didn’t understand why she felt this way, but she knew it had something to do with Jack. She could barely think of his name, it hurt so much. But she had known those suppressed emotions would surface sooner or later. Of course they would choose Christmas, Kate thought.
She untangled herself from Claire’s arms, wishing she could stay nestled in them, asleep. Instead, Kate went downstairs and poured herself a small glass of wine, hoping it would calm her nerves and help her think straight. In moments like this, the old Kate would pack up the car, reindeer antlers and all, and get on the interstate. The thought barely crossed her mind now, as she knew she would turn around and come right back. She had a family now, and she wasn't stupid enough to throw it away because she couldn't sleep one night. Proud of her own journey, Kate smiled as she took a sip of wine. Sawyer had said once that a tiger doesn't change their stripes, she would always be a runner. Well, she thought, look at us now.
But she reflected on all she had felt laying in bed. The feelings of regret and shame. Remorse over the people she'd hurt. The list of mistakes was long, but she had forgiven herself for the big things, all but one. Jack. When Aaron said he was going to be a shepherd for the play, Kate felt like she was having a stroke. Every time he said the word “shepherd”, Kate's brain malfunctioned. And now as she sat taking her last sip of wine, she couldn't hold back her grief.
I was too late… Was the only coherent thought she had as the sobs began wracking her body.
The cliffside, Locke who wasn’t Locke, the rain, the way the Island shook. The whole scene played out in her mind as she sat hunched forward in her chair, unable to sit upright with the force of her cries. She wished she could go back, to move a little faster, to pull the trigger before the knife went in. Kate struggled with hesitating, she thought of Boone and Libby and their gruesome deaths and her reaction, but that day she didn’t hesitate to kill Locke. Yet her darkest side was whispering she could’ve gotten there sooner. She could have saved him.
Kate cried for what seemed like hours, but she looked up at 11:45 PM and realized there was only 15 minutes until Christmas. Christmas… I can’t deal with Christmas right now… Kate’s apathy towards the holiday was growing into resentment as she struggled to come to terms with her own emotions. Festive merriment was not something Kate was capable of right now, and she knew in about 8 hours, Aaron and Claire would be expecting it. But the fracture in her heart was evolving into a faultline, and Kate knew she had to deal with it. So she poured herself another glass of wine.
Jack-
After his talk with John, Jack returned to the Island, just to give himself some time to think. The beach called to him, and he sat down on the sand and stared out at the ocean. Wave after wave crashing down against the shore made Jack feel less alone. The Island was getting beaten everyday, losing little bits of itself as time went on, and so was Jack. But he wasn’t beaten, and that was his saving grace. The Island was still here, even if he technically wasn’t.
Jack rubbed a hand through his short, shaved hair. He was amped up in a way he hadn’t been as a ghost and deep down he worried this would persist past Christmas. Maybe he would be this sad, mopey, fidgety ghost forever. He knew he had to move on someday. Locke seemed to have figured that out, despite the fact that he kept coming back to visit him. Jack worried this was it for him, this was his penance. That he’d never be able to fully let go.
He couldn’t sit still anymore, so Jack stood up and began wandering The Island. He found his way to the caves, but the darkness there was palpable. Memories of Boone and Claire’s experiences here made Jack turn away instantly from the entrance. Claire… his sister… another regret.
Leaving Claire behind kept Jack up at night for weeks after their return to the real world, but when her mother told him the truth, that she was his sister… it was almost more than he could bear. Kate could barely forgive him for how drunk he got the night of his father’s funeral. She took care of him through her anger and unease, though, and Jack made it through the night without choking on his own vomit. He didn’t remember much from that night, but he did remember the look on her face when he slammed his fist down on the counter. He couldn’t even remember why he did it, but he remembered the impact it had on her. It wasn’t his last violent outburst around Kate, but he never laid a hand on her. She would have kicked his ass if he had.
He wandered towards the hatch remains, knowing full well the memories he would face there. Jack hoped that after Sun, Jin, and Sayid’s death, Sawyer would at least be able to understand the mindset Jack had when he got Juliet killed. Jack had been certain, positive, indisputably right, until he wasn’t, and now Juliet was dead. And so was he. He sat for a while staring at the debris that still littered the indentation in the earth, hoping this limbo of self-loathing would end someday, and he would feel forgiven. Not just by Claire and Sawyer, but Jack needed to know Kate thought of him with fondness, and that all of his glaring mistakes were not the only things she remembered about their time together.
Without quite knowing where he was going Jack found himself at Boone’s Hill, surrounded by the ones who came before him. He found his grave and sat down, worn out by his emotions, he couldn’t handle staring at Shannon’s or Libby’s or Ana Lucia’s graves. Hurley and Ben had found his body and brought him here to be buried next to Locke. Two men of faith, laid to rest together. But soon after Jack arrived he was joined by a familiar face. The Protector of the Island, coming to pay his respects on Christmas Eve.
Hurley walked to Libby’s grave first and placed a small woven wreath of palm leaves on her cross.
“Hey Libby. Merry Christmas, I’ll be right back,” he said before moving onto every other cross and placing a similar wreath on each one. He paused at Jack’s grave, sensing something. “Jack?”
“Hey Hurley,” Jack responded.
“What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you have, I don’t know, moved on by now?”
Jack chuckled, “Yeah, I probably should have.”
Hurley gave him a sideways look as they both stared at Jack’s grave.
“Thanks for bringing me here, Hurley,” Jack said after a few silent moments.
“It’s where you belong, man.”
“I don’t think that’s true anymore… I belong with Kate.”
“Why aren’t you with her? Ya know, in the way that you like, can?”
Jack thought about his entire Christmas Eve, and how close he had felt to her, how she could almost sense him, somehow. But it made him ache, not being able to divulge everything he felt and he felt so much it was a wonder he hadn’t exploded.
Jack’s face must have given away his pain, and Hurley put his hand on his shoulder, “I got an idea.”
Kate
Kate finished the bottle and went to bed, sure she would be thrilled with herself the next day. Claire immediately wrapped herself around Kate, a habit Kate hoped she would never break. She was like a personal weighted blanket, and between her and the wine, Kate fell into a heavy slumber.
She dreamt she was back on the Island and she was running through the jungle. It was familiar, but she still knew to be terrified by whatever she was being chased by. She tripped over a rock and tumbled down a hill, only to sit up in the polar bear cages on Hydra Island. She was wearing Alex’s dress again but when she looked into the other cage, Sawyer wasn’t there. It was Jack.
“Jack!” Kate cried, overcome with relief.
But he didn’t respond. He continued to pace around his cage. Kate yelled again: nothing. Over and over she cried, pleading with him to acknowledge her, but he just kept pacing moodily. Kate slid along the cage bars to the ground, weeping. Her subconscious clearly knew she could never touch him again, but the least it could do was let her hear his voice. Instead she was trapped in not only a cage, but a fishbowl.
“Kate… Kate! Wake up! It’s Christmas!”
Claire’s voice was, as usual, Kate’s saving grace. Kate squeezed her eyes shut and stretched her arms as Claire bounced on the edge of the bed like a child. Smiling, Kate sat up and kissed her lovingly, feeling the pain of her dream fade away. Claire returned the kiss but didn’t let it last too long, as her excitement to give Kate and Aaron their gifts had been eating at Claire for weeks.
“Come on! Aaron’s already had breakfast and he almost came in here to wake you himself but I saw the bottle of wine in the trash and figured it’d be best if I did it. You alright?”
“Let’s talk about it later, after Christmas.”
“Promise?”
Kate kissed her again, “Promise.”
Kate put on her robe and the pair went downstairs only to be greeted by a jolly man with a big belly and long white beard giving Aaron a present right in front of their tree.
“What the-
“Excuse me?”
Santa Claus looked up and Claire and Kate both laughed loudly with relief. Claire ran up to Hurley and gave him a big hug and Kate followed close behind.
“This is a surprise!” Claire said, “It’s so good to see you!”
“Well, Walt and Ben have things on lock back home, and I needed to see you. Both of you.”
Claire and Kate looked at each other, pondering Hurley’s ominous words.
“What’s going on?” Kate asked.
“Just a little Christmas present, don’t worry!”
“Mommaaaa!” Aaron complained.
“Let’s not make the little dude wait, we can talk later.”
Aaron got a new iPod, several books he had been wanting, and a whole new wardrobe, among other toys and things. Claire made Kate a beautiful necklace, and Kate got Claire a little designer dress she had been wanting for months but couldn’t justify because she had no event to wear it to.
“I’ll take you somewhere,” Kate promised with a wink.
“Are there anymore?” Aaron asked, peeking around the tree and coming up empty.
“I think that’s all, sweetie.”
“Not quite yet,” Hurley said, “But Aaron I think you should take all your new stuff to your room and give your moms and I some time to talk. My present to them is a little different.”
Kate watched Aaron slowly gather his things, and looked to them uncertainly. They both nodded and he went upstairs and silence fell on the room.
“Someone wants to talk to you, I’m here as a mediator.”
“Jack?” Kate guessed, knowing her feelings must have meant something.
Hurley nodded.
Jack
Kate looked so beautiful in her robe and messy hair. Her face read as hopeful, but Jack could sense her own uncertainties. He had spent all night preparing what he wanted to say, and now he had his chance.
“Don’t edit, Hurley.” Jack commanded.
“Jack has demanded I do not edit,” Hurley said with a smile.
“Kate, first I want to say that I love you. I love you so much and I didn’t tell you enough when I was alive, so I’m making sure I say it now.”
Tears were already streaming down Kate’s face but she was staring right at him as he spoke.
“I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you. I underestimated you so many times, I wish I could have been smart enough to see how strong you are and support you rather than weaken you. And I weakened you so many times. I’m sorry I failed you so many times. I should have been there for you and for Aaron. I should have…” Jack could feel himself rambling and he took a second to get back on track. “Kate, you are a wonderful person, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you, Merry Christmas.”
Kate jumped off the couch and flung her arms around Hurley, who immediately returned the hug. Sobs wracking her body, Kate took a while to calm herself down. Jack watched her wipe her tears and brush her hair back, before staring at the spot where Jack stood.
Kate
Kate felt overwhelmed. She hadn’t realized how much she had needed Jack’s validation until that moment. It felt like every word he said was a stitch sewn into the part of her heart he had broken so long ago. She tried to impress every word into her mind, so she could replay it later on. Kate had been holding onto the pain of her relationship with Jack for years, letting it form insecurities she hadn’t had before. With the knowledge that Jack was still holding onto her love all these years later, even through death, Kate healed a little.
“Jack, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I was late. I should have moved faster, I should have gotten there sooner. I just wish I could have saved you.”
“Kate, it was my destiny to die on the Island. There was nothing you could have done.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
Kate took in the moment, feeling his love resonate throughout her body, but she knew Claire was behind her and she turned around and held her hand tightly.
“Claire, I know we didn’t get to spend much time together as brother and sister and for that I am so so sorry. We never should have left you behind, we should have stayed and looked for you. I was so consumed with getting us off while we had the chance I didn’t think and for that I am so sorry.”
“Jack, you have nothing to be sorry about. You say it was your destiny to die on the Island, well it was mine to get left behind. If I hadn’t been left behind, we never would have found out we were siblings, Kate wouldn’t have bonded with Aaron, and we wouldn’t have fallen in love, and we wouldn’t have our wonderful life together. Jack you have been a great brother without even knowing it.”
Claire kissed Kate’s hand, and Hurley smiled at both of them.
“Huh..”
“What? What’s wrong?” Kate asked.
“I figured he might stick around a bit longer, but gee that was fast, he’s moved on.”
Jack
When Claire said he had nothing to be sorry for Jack started to feel his toes vibrate. As she continued speaking, Jack felt the vibration quickly moving up his legs and through his abdomen and up his arms. By the time he was done listening to Claire’s heartfelt response, there was nothing but vibration through his whole body. He closed his eyes to focus and he opened them to see a window. A plane window, with clouds outside, and a cute flight attendant asking him about his drink.