Dear all new members of MACUSA,
Hello guys!
Welcome to Department of Security of MACUSA. We're extremely excited to have you here and absolutely willing to provide all the help you need. To help you fully prepared to be an Auror, we have some guidelines which haven’t been mentioned in the official guidelines previously.
These guidelines apply to all the faculty members except for our great president Ms. Picquery and our special consultant Mr. Scamander. For others, to have a happy and good life in MACUSA, please try hard to follow these rules.
Rule 1: Be good to Goldstein sisters. Buy them food, help them do their work when you're free... basically try to befriending them. It's not bribing, considering it could be an insurance which sooner or later will be needed.
Rule 2: DO KNOCK before entering Mr. Graves' office. It's not just about being polite, but about your personal safety. And if you're really unfortunate to enter his office without knocking... don't say a word and leave quietly and immediately go to Ms. Tina Goldstein. (She's the only one who might be able to save your ass)
Rule 3: Join the countersign and ask Madam President to provide the whole office with free sunglasses. We still need a few more signatures. Don't ask why just sign it up and later you'll appreciate it.
Rule 4: Don't mess with Mr. Scamander. Yes, he is nice, shy and polite, but if you try to take advantage of him or just simply be rude to him, his brother and his partner, Mr. Scamander and Mr. Graves, won't care who you are or why you're doing this, they'll find you and kill you.
Rule 5: RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN WHEN YOU SEE THE WAR HERO THESEUS SCAMANDER ENTER MACUSA.
Rule 6: If you think our supervisor, Mr. Graves, needs some rest, spare your effort in trying to persuade him. Just go to Mr. Scamander.
Regards,
All Aurors from the Department of Security