The Vow

As the Addams Family hearse drove through the countryside, heading for her home for a long weekend, Wednesday watched the heavy snowfall and sighed.  She winced as Lurch hit a bump which jarred her injured knee and subtly clutched the hem of her sweater to ride out the wave in silence.

But Enid noticed.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

Not trusting that she’d be able to speak with an even tone she nodded, but really, she wasn’t.  She didn’t want to lie or downplay the truth, she knew how Enid felt when she lied – especially about her well-being, but the reaction was habitual and honestly, she didn’t want Enid to worry or fuss.  Not only was she not used to being coddled after deciding years ago that she wasn’t going to cry anymore and started rejecting words or gestures of comfort, but she knew Enid still blamed herself for Wednesday’s injuries and didn’t want to do anything to contribute to her misguided guilt.

Wednesday had to constantly remind her that challenging Jeremy, the werewolf who kept harassing Enid and making her life miserable, to a duel was her idea and her choice.  And she did not regret it because she saved Enid from more than just constant harassment and lewd gestures.  He was dangerous, and the fight showed just how evil and dangerous he could be.  He had stabbed her without hesitation in retaliation for her winning their duel, he badly dislocated her knee and he and his friend would’ve done so much worse if she didn’t successfully fight back. Most importantly, their duel also revealed that his family and Enid’s mother had secretly arranged for them to marry over the summer.  And now that Enid knew, she was finally standing up to her mother for arranging it and Wednesday couldn’t be prouder. 

Besides, the duel had brought Wednesday and Enid together. The incident led to them both revealing that they secretly liked each other but were both too afraid the other didn’t feel the same way.  All of those things made Wednesday’s injuries worth it.

But because she got hurt fighting for Enid’s honour somehow made Enid interpret it as her fault.

“You’re not OK,” Enid said, studying her face.  “I think it’s time for more painkillers.  You don’t look so good.”

Wednesday wanted to refuse but the deep, sharp and throbbing ache in her knee pushed well beyond the boundaries of her high pain tolerance, and the cold early winter air just made it worse.  Still in too much pain to speak, she reluctantly nodded and Enid reached into her colourful embroidery purse and pulled out her prescription.

“You pushed yourself, didn’t you?” Enid asked, it wasn’t accusing but Wednesday was mildly annoyed that Enid knew her so well. Before they left Enid had given her some water and handed her the pill bottle and Wednesday, still feeling a little groggy from her last dose at the time opted not to take it, deciding she was fine and would rather tough it out. 

“Yeah,” she said, her voice sounding strained even to her own ears.

“Did you even take any this morning?”

Wednesday hesitated.  She didn’t want Enid to know the truth, but she didn’t want to lie either. She shook her head.

“Wednesday,” she scolded gently, “how many times do I have to tell you, there’s no shame in needing painkillers – we all know you’re a badass.  This doesn’t change it.”

“I don’t like how they make me feel,” she admitted quietly.

“They knock you out, how is that worse than being in agony? Because I can see you’re in agony right now,” Enid asked, grabbing the black stainless-steel water bottle that had a skull and crossbones poison symbol engraved on it – a gift from Enid on Wednesday’s seventeenth birthday – and handed it to her before giving her one of those cursed little pills. 

It wasn’t just that though, but Wednesday just shrugged her answer, leaving it ambiguous.

The problem she had was that they made her dizzy and her head felt fuzzy and she felt like she wasn’t fully in control.  She trusted Enid with her life but Wednesday had always been guarded, ever since she was little, often for good reason, and those wretched pills slowed her reflexes and let down her walls without her consent and even in the company of the girl she loved, she didn’t like it.

While the heavy-duty stuff she had been given that first night after getting injured was the catalyst for Wednesday admitting how she really felt about Enid, bringing them together, it bothered her that she couldn’t remember the conversation, or if she said anything else.  And if Jeremy or his friend Scott, or any of Wednesday’s enemies decided to strike, she had been completely vulnerable.  Sure, Enid had opted to stay with her, but she didn’t like the idea of Enid being in harm’s way to protect her sorry, drugged-up ass. 

These weren’t as strong, but she still didn’t feel like herself or in control when she took them.  It made her dizzy, drowsy and sluggish and made it harder to filter her thoughts, increasing the risk of her saying something she might regret for one reason or another.

This was the first time she ever needed something for pain, she had a high pain tolerance and sometimes even enjoyed the sensation and preferred to tough it out – even after being shot in the shoulder with an arrow. But this was different.  She had heard that a dislocated knee was especially painful and quickly learned how true that was.  It was a different beast entirely.  But she still wasn’t sure what was worse, the agonizing pain or the loss of control.  And then there was Enid, sweet Enid who had this annoyingly endearing habit of wanting her to take better care of herself when she was sick or injured and she had a hard time resisting Enid’s wishes lately.

She looked at the pill in her hand and hesitated, but then Lurch hit another bump and the shockwave of pain as it jarred her knee was excruciating, and not in the fun way. She sucked in a breath through her nose and noticed Lurch give her an apologetic look through the rear-view mirror and Enid gently squeezed her shoulder as she rode it out.

With a pout, Wednesday sighed and took the medicine. Enid took her hand and kissed it, “Thank you,” she said softly, “I think I understand why you don’t like them, but I really don’t want to see you needlessly suffer and I’m worried about what the doctor had said.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Wednesday muttered.

Enid rolled her eyes lovingly, “With all due respect, I think he knows a thing or two, what with being a doctor and all.”

“Grandmamma is going to fix it,” Wednesday said, “so I doubt I’ll need surgery.”

“You have better chances if you take it easy,” she pointed out, “and maybe don’t push yourself too hard?”

“I’ve been taking it easy,” Wednesday protested.

“Then why haven’t you been using your crutches when I’m not around?”

“But I…” she started, wondering how she knew and then turned her attention to Thing who was chilling on the opposite seat, “Thing you traitorous appendage, I should’ve known you’d rat me out!”

“He’s concerned as well,” Enid said in his defence as he cowered away apologetically.

“It was only to my desk and back,” Wednesday said.  And it was true.  The past couple of days while she recovered from her duel with Jeremy she spent most of the day in bed except to hobble to her desk to write and had found her crutches cumbersome and pointless for only a few steps.  Besides, they tugged at the small stab wound on her side when she used them.

“I just want you to be OK,” Enid soothed, leaning in to give her a loving peck on the cheek. 

Wednesday glanced at her and melted, offering a small smile as she said, “I’ll be more careful.  For you.”

“Good,” Enid grinned. “So how much longer would you say until we get there?”

“A couple of hours,” Wednesday guessed, and then caught an apprehensive look on her face that confused her. “Are you nervous?”

“A little,” Enid admitted.

“Why?  You met my parents and Pugsley many times, you know they like you, they adore you.”

“Yeah but last time I saw them you and I were just friends, and I’ve never been to your house before,” Enid said. 

“My family is in love with love, they don’t care if it’s between two girls or a werewolf and a psychic,” Wednesday said with a hint of disgust at the topic of love and romance, but it landed differently now. She had never been in love before and spent longer than necessary feeling what she thought was unrequited love for Enid.  But now that she knew the feeling was mutual and they were officially together, talking about the subject no longer left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.  “I can guarantee you, they are going to be thrilled.”

Now, the idea of love was kind of exciting in a scary, yet exhilarating way.

“Yeah well, my family will not approve when they find out,” Enid said with a frown. 

“The last thing I care about is what your former family thinks,” Wednesday scowled, furious at the pain they had caused Enid and the lengths they were willing to go to use her and sign her life away for their own gain. Enid only blamed her mother, and maybe she was the one who set the evil plan in motion, but her father and brothers’ silence made them just as guilty in Wednesday’s eyes.  If her father was truly against this arranged marriage nonsense, he should’ve done more to protect his daughter.

Enid looked down at her feet and murmured, “I do though.”

Wednesday did not understand that.  Her mother emotionally manipulated and abused her while her father was silent and let it happen, her brothers bullied her and ignored her.  They were plotting to ambush her with a surprise secret wedding, counting on her people-pleasing nature to pressure her, no, force her to agree to it so as to not let her pack down.

In Wednesday’s eyes, that was pure evil.  So why should she care about whether or not they approved of Enid and Wednesday dating?  Enid was her own person, she could date whoever she wanted.  Wednesday was fully willing to love her from afar had she ever chosen someone else, so long as Enid was happy.  But they didn’t care about Enid’s happiness, so why should their opinion matter to her?

“Why?”

Enid glanced at her and shook her head, “It’s complicated. They…they’re my family.”

“They were your family.  They’re not your family anymore.”

“Well, technically, for now, they are,” Enid said with a sad grin.

“In the eyes of the law, maybe, but you’ll be officially emancipated in a couple of weeks,” Wednesday pointed out, “and you said it yourself, you disowned them.  You don’t ever have to speak to them again if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, but… it’s easier said than done,” she said with a shaky sigh, “and I’m trying… I’m trying not to… I don’t know, let them control me anymore.  But my mother takes up so much space in my thoughts, that it’s hard to just…let go.  Just like that.  No matter how much I want to.”

She began to softly cry, not breaking into full sobs, but Wednesday saw her beautiful blue eyes sparkle from tears as they formed, growing and then leaving wet streaks down her cheeks.  She sniffed and quickly wiped them away.

If Wednesday wasn’t a useless invalid right now, all Enid would need to do was say the word and she would’ve told Lurch to drop her off at the airport instead so she could catch the next flight to San Francisco and challenge Mrs. Sinclair to a duel, too.  She hated her for what she did to Enid and wanted to see her suffer.  But Enid didn’t want her to, so she was going to respect that, even though it went against her nature to allow the guilty to go unpunished for hurting someone she loved.

She hated to see Enid cry or upset and she didn’t know what to do.  And she didn’t understand the issue Enid was having, because Wednesday had no problem with cutting out the people who wronged her.  But she wasn’t going to question it. 

Wednesday glanced at Thing, looking for help.  She had rejected the idea of receiving comfort long ago, so she had no idea how to give it.  And now that she was her girlfriend, she felt a bigger responsibility for her well-being and happiness.  She couldn’t just support her from afar while Enid sought comfort in her other friends anymore.  For the longest time, that was an arrangement that worked well since Enid knew she genuinely cared in her own way and her friends could give her what she needed.  But that would no longer suffice.  And now it was more or less just the two of them, besides Thing and Lurch of course, and she was her girlfriend now and what does a good girlfriend say or do when the other is upset?

Thing gestured for her to just hold her.  She didn’t have to say anything.

It seemed to help calm Enid’s panic attack when Enid found her injured in the woods after her fight with Jeremy, so it made sense that it might help her now. 

Mustering up the strength in her aching body that seemed to weigh her down, Wednesday reached and wrapped her arm around Enid, “Come here,” she said, trying to match the soothing tone Enid took on when comforting someone.  She pulled her close and Enid leaned on her shoulder.  Not sure what else to do or say she gave Enid a quick kiss on the forehead before silently seeking confirmation that she was doing it right and Thing gave her a thumbs up. 

“I know I should,” Enid said, “I should be happy that I cut them out of my life, but… I miss them.  I know they hurt me, and I recognize now just how abusive mom could get, and that maybe she never did have my best interests at heart when she tried to get me to wolf out before I was ready, but it wasn’t all bad.  I have some good memories, wonderful memories and…cutting her out means cutting ties with the whole pack, and… now it’s over, just like that.  All because mom…how could she do that to me?”

“You’re grieving,” Wednesday said, realizing. She didn’t quite understand why Enid would grieve the loss of such horrible people who weren’t even dead, but she understood grief and how messy it could be.  Grief never made sense.

Enid nodded, “I guess I am, in a way.”

Lurch hit another bump and a patch of ice which caused the hearse to suddenly skid and though he quickly regained control the instinctual reaction to brace herself jarred her knee.  Wednesday gasped in alarm at the sudden shock of pain from her knee and pull at the stitches in her side.  The sudden movement and subsequent pain had her seeing stars for a moment.

Enid pulled away to get a good look at her, “Are you OK?”

She nodded, letting go of Enid to grab her leg just above the top of the brace around her knee, her face frozen in a wince as she tried to work through the wave, “Just…hurts like h-hell and not…not in a good way.”

“I had a feeling this might’ve been a bad idea, you’re not well enough for classes yet, of course, you’re not well enough to travel,” Enid said. 

“It’ll pass,” she insisted.  And she disagreed, she could’ve gone back to class if she hadn’t been suspended for initiating the very duel that led to her condition.  But at least in class, she wasn’t in something that would randomly bounce or jerk back and forth depending on road conditions.  But no matter how bad it was to travel, Wednesday was not going to cancel this impromptu weekend trip home because it wasn't entirely a social visit - they were there so her parents could help Enid officially and legally become emancipated from her family and an official ward of the Addamses.

“I know it hasn’t been long, but have the painkillers kicked in yet?”

“A little?”

Enid made a pouty and sympathetic whimper that Wednesday always thought was annoying yet adorable, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I just… you got hurt because of me…”

“For you. My choice.”

“Fine, OK, your choice but… I know the doctor said that I did a good job putting your knee back in place but… what if he just said that to make me feel better?  What if I did something wrong and made it worse?”

“You didn’t,” Wednesday insisted, “you did great, you followed my instructions perfectly and I immediately felt the difference.  The severity of this wretched injury is not your fault.  How many times do I have to tell you?”

“I know but…”

“This is your mother’s talking, right?  In your head, telling you that you’re a failure and a disappointment, am I correct?”

Enid was taken aback, she thought about it a moment, considering, “Maybe.”

“It’s not your fault it happened and it’s not your fault it’s completely messed up,” Wednesday assured her gently. “You know what is your fault?”

“What?” she asked, a slight panicked look in her eyes

“It’s your fault I went to the doctor and got it x-rayed. If you didn’t make me go, we wouldn’t have known just how much Jeremy fucked it up.  I would’ve thought it was OK and pushed through the pain and made it worse on my own,” Wednesday said truthfully. “So, thank you for that.”

Sure, she dared to take a few steps to her desk and back, but it was a short trip and she was able to more or less hop that short distance, but if she thought it was a simple dislocation that Enid fixed, she might’ve tried walking on it.  As it was, it was likely she would require surgery, but they wanted to see if it could heal on its own with strict rest and reassess in a couple of weeks. Surgery was the last thing she wanted and Wednesday sincerely hoped that Grandmamma would be able to help the healing process with one of her potions or spells so she could avoid it.

Enid smiled and wiped the lingering tears in her eyes, “Thank you for listening to me, I know this emotional stuff makes you uncomfortable...”

“I told you,” she smirked as the wave of pain passed, “you put some sort of spell on me, Enid Sinclair.  Anything you wish, and I will do everything in my power to give it to you.”

“Says the girl that refused to wear a sling after getting shot with an arrow,” Enid giggled.

“And let everyone know my weak spot?  No, thank you.”

“I’m sure your shoulder wouldn’t still be giving you issues if you took care of it properly.”

“That’s doubtful.  Is this where you developed your annoying mother-hen habits?” Wednesday teased, though sling or no sling, she had permanent nerve damage, a sling wasn’t going to fix that.  It was never going to be 100% but at least she got most of her mobility back and she didn’t mind the occasional flare-ups of pain, sometimes she enjoyed it. 

“Wouldn’t need to be a mother-hen if you weren’t so stubborn,” Enid shrugged. 

“Yeah well…” her voice trailed off as she felt the first wave of dizziness from the painkillers hit her and she couldn’t think of a witty comeback. 

Enid rested her hand on Wednesday’s shoulder as though to hold her steady, which Wednesday was grateful for.  Even while sitting she suddenly felt like she was so off-balance she might fall and she swallowed hard as her stomach groaned in protest.  “You OK?” Enid asked.

Out of habit, she nodded, but knowing Enid wanted her to be truthful about what she was feeling, she murmured, “No.  Dizzy.  I told you, I don’t like how this medicine makes me feel.”

Enid hummed with sympathy and her hand moved from her shoulder to her back where she began rubbing small circles.  It felt oddly nice, even though she would occasionally put pressure on one of the many bruises on her back but Wednesday found that painfully pleasant.  Enid leaned in and gave her a soft peck on the cheek, reaching to take her hand. 

Wednesday stiffened, not used to such gestures of affection but then relaxed and spared her a small smile, still unable to believe that Enid was now hers.  It seemed unreal when not even a week ago she was certain she would be single forever. 

She had no desire for romance so that wasn’t a bad thing. It was something she had wanted for herself, and Enid was the only one who could possibly throw a wrench in her life goals of being the creepy old lady who lives alone on the end of the street that all the kids were afraid of. She spent so long convinced that Enid would never like her as anything other than a friend and forcing herself to be OK with it that when Thing told her that Enid liked her too, and they cleared the air, became official and shared their first kiss, Wednesday still felt like it was all a dream. Any moment she would wake up and nothing would’ve changed.

And now that Enid was hers and she was now Enid’s, the thought of losing her was unbearable.  A part of her kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Enid to reveal that she never actually liked her that way and that giving her a chance was a mistake, that Wednesday could never be worthy of her, that Enid would leave her.

She loved Enid.  More than anything, including herself.  It was strange to admit it, but it was the truth. It was like she put a spell on her, but all Enid did was be herself and somehow, at some point, Wednesday fell, and she fell hard.

Wednesday turned to look at her, “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you try and get some rest, my valiant black knight?” she offered, subtly trying to get her to lean into her.

Wednesday nodded, feeling groggy but instead leaned away from her, resting her head on the window, trying to ignore the flash of disappointment that crossed her face for the briefest moment.  She could tell Enid wanted to cuddle, but Wednesday wasn’t ready for that yet.  Wednesday would gladly hug Enid if she needed it, and she was OK with brief kisses, but she was new to intimacy and while she was comfortable around Enid, she wasn’t ready for prolonged contact or making out. 

She glanced guiltily at Enid and held out her hand as an apology.  She understood that with Enid’s past relationships, they were cuddling, hugging, and making out right away, it was something Enid enjoyed and she wanted to make Enid happy, but she just…wasn’t ready. 

Enid smiled and took it, giving her hand a squeeze. 

Wednesday just hoped that she would be patient.  She was working on it, for her. 

The cold window was soothing against her head.  She was developing quite a headache on top of everything so it felt nice.  She considered saying so, making it a logical excuse to avoid cuddling but Enid was worrying about her far more than she needed to, so she kept it to herself, not wanting to deal with Enid fussing over her just because her head hurt.

Though her protective mother hen thing she had going on was kind of adorable. 

But she wasn’t the one in need of protection.  She could take care of herself.  Enid was the one with the psycho family who wanted to sign her life away to marry a werewolf who wouldn’t think twice about hurting her if he didn’t get his way.  Wednesday might’ve been a useless invalid at the moment, but she was not going to let that stop her from protecting Enid from them if they ever tried anything.

She closed her eyes, letting the medication pull her under. 

Wednesday drifted to sleep and found herself lost in a horrible nightmare.  It was vivid yet vague as she found herself lying down in an empty black void, unable to move as Enid stood over her, “It’s over,” she spat venomously, full of hate. “We’re over.  I don’t love you, I’ve never loved you.  You’re nothing but toxic filth and I want nothing to do with you.  I want you out of my life forever, understand?”

When time passed and Enid gently nudged her awake, Wednesday was groggy and slow to respond. She glanced around in confusion, barely registering her home looming just outside the window.

“Wake up,” she said, “we’re here.”

She felt her heart flutter in her chest, bursting with pain that rivalled her injured knee, but this pain was different, it wasn’t physical but she could feel it surging through her body.  Though Enid breaking up with her was clearly just a nightmare, one she could barely remember except for that one part, it felt so real, yet unreal and her eyes stung. 

“Wednesday?  Are you OK?” Enid asked in concern.

Sensing a warm damp trail on her cheeks she wiped at her eyes, surprised and confused to find tears there.  She never cried.  Never.  It took Thing almost dying to make her cry, so why would some stupid nightmare involuntarily drive her to tears? 

“Yeah,” she said, gingerly shifting her leg, testing the pain in her knee.  It was bad, but the painkillers were still in effect and it was dull enough that she could manage.  “I’m fine,” she muttered absently, but she wasn’t sure if she was or not.  Why did she feel so weird?

Enid looked torn about calling her out on it but opted not to, “You sure?”

Wednesday nodded, “Yes, I think the painkillers are… I don’t know, doing something I guess… but I’m OK.”

She smiled in understanding, “Stay there, I’m going to help you out of the car…”

“Enid I don’t need….”

We’re over.  I don’t love you, I’ve never loved you. 

The hateful words Enid said in her dream echoed in her head.  It was just a nightmare, not real.  Enid liked her, she wouldn’t lie about that, she wanted to be with Wednesday as much as she wanted to be with Enid.  Right? This wasn’t some fling or joke, this was real, right?  Their romantic status was still so new and yet she couldn’t bear the thought of ever breaking up.  Even though it was just a nightmare she felt like she was being torn to pieces. 

“Wait, no.  Thank you,” she amended.  It made her embarrassed and uncomfortable to need help, but if Enid needed to coddle her and take care of her, maybe Wednesday shouldn’t deny her that.  If she was to be worthy of Enid, she needed to surrender to her needs and wants, even if they were different from her own.

Enid smiled, seemingly unaware of her inner turmoil. 

Why did she feel so weird?

Enid jumped out of the hearse walked to the other side and opened the door to help her out, “Are you sure you’re OK, Wednesday?” she asked, eyeing her with scrutiny, making it clear that she knew something was bothering her.

“I…” she started but then she stopped, having a eureka moment as she realized why she felt so weird about that snippet of her stupid drug-induced nightmare. 

It wasn’t a vision - as far as she knew, she only had visions when she was awake but something about it just felt like a vision.

She swallowed hard, “I’m fine.”

Enid helped her to her feet and held onto her for balance as Lurch went to get her crutches from the trunk.  Wednesday looked into Enid's eyes and impulsively cupped her hands over Enid's cheeks closed her eyes and kissed her lips.  Enid kissed back and smiled at her curiously when she finally pulled away, "What was that for?"

"Nothing," Wednesday said with a small smirk, hoping that Enid couldn't see just how much her nightmare left her shaken.