Dysfunctional At Best

The house was quiet and everyone was asleep; except for Harry, who knew well enough, it was no use in going back to sleep when being so far into his pregnancy. So being the worrywart he is, he checks the wards to see if they're acceptable. He then goes back inside to Tom's office to neaten it since the 'big bad dark lord' can't be bothered by such "trivial activities".

"Oh, I see we have a rugby player on our hands." Harry grits, hunching over and having to take a seat in the plush wheely spinny chair.

Four and a half deep breaths later Harry was able to calm the baby.

Or at least get her to stop kicking. He swears one more kick and she'll be free.

~

Blinking his eyes, Tom checked the time as he noticed how dark it was and how a small body had gone missing from his hold. Sitting up in a panic, he hears a screech downstairs from a piece of furniture scratching against the marble floor.

Throwing himself back on the bed, Tom facepalms. It's always the seventh to eighth month where Harry can't sleep and so his imp of a husband has to nitpick and organize everything he can get his tiny hands-on.

So knowing Harry won't stop until he passes out from exhaustion and overworking, Tom takes the initiative to drag Harry back to bed.

Through the long hallways, he starts to hear music and the interesting sight of Harry dancing.

~                          

Cleaning gradually started to become boring, so with a flick of his wrist, the radio turned on and a familiar beat filled the room. After putting on a black and white fedora, Harry's ready to rock and roll.

Just take those old records off the shelf

I'll sit and listen to ‘em by myself

Today's music ain't got the same soul

I like that old-time rock n' roll

Don't try to take me to a disco

You'll never even get me out on the floor

In ten minutes I'll be late for the door

I like that old-time rock n' roll

Old-time rock n roll

That kind of music just soothes the soul

I reminisce about the days of old

With that old time rock n' roll

~

By this point, Harry was using the broom as a microphone. Seeing his husband sing along to distasteful music gave Tom a surprise as he continued to look on fondly but had to intervene as Harry would want to do a knee slide.

Any other time it would be great but they might have to hold off on that as Harry is pregnant. 

So with a flick of his index finger, Tom shuts off the music but that didn't stop Harry from air-playing with the broom.

"Well done poppet." Tom's chuckle fills the room as he applauds his little rock star. 

Smiling big and wide, Harry bows at the waist (barely). He waddled into Tom's open arms and tried to burrow himself into the warmth of his husband's chest.

"Go any deeper love and you won't be able to escape."

"Pfft oh please." Harry snickers, pulling away from his husband.

Wrapping his spider-like hands around Harry's upper arms, Tom tugs Harry closer and leans down to whisper in his smaller husband's ear in their own little language.

"Now let's not get overconfident, love." he says, kissing the skin underneath.

"Why not? Confidence can lead to more successful people in our day and age. Especially in today's generation of wizards and witches, it would be in every magical parent's interest to boost their child's magic by giving their child free-reign once in a while instead of harsh and restrictive rul-mmmph" Harry's informative rant is interrupted by Tom putting his finger on his lips.

"Hush now.” Although his voice was stern his eyes looked down fondly at the picture his husband made.

Feeling a slimy, wet sensation left on his finger broke Tom of his gaze and wiped it on Harry's shirt in retaliation.

Looking down at his shirt, Harry shrugs "I've had worse."

Bringing him back to his embrace Tom sighs "Yes, yes I can imagine that being true, being you’re stuck with our.....children." he grimaces.

A smack to the chest has Tom looking down at a scowling Harry with his pointer finger in his face.

"Careful Marvolo." He has to smirk when he feels the crackling magic in the air when his pet grew defensive about their children when it comes to anyone; including Tom himself.

Taking hold of Harry's hand, Tom unfolded his palm and placed a kiss on his forehead "Let's go back to sleep hm?" With that he picked Harry up, making sure to not put pressure on his stomach, and retired for a hopefully good night's rest for what chaos tomorrow will bring.

~

'L'  is for the way you look at me

The sun had finally risen, Tom could tell since he felt the glare on his face.

'O' is for the only one I see

'V' is very very extraordinary

'E' is even more than anyone that you adore

Blinking his eyes open, Tom notices the side of the bed is empty, yet again.

Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than a just game for two

Two in love can make it

Moving his hands behind his head he stares fondly at his special boy.

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

Waking up to Harry off-key was a blessing and a curse. Hearing his little spouse so happy enough to sing love songs was a sign their relationship wasn't as miserable but even if that was still the case Harry would still sing off-key at the top of his lungs just to annoy Tom. It's just the little things that count.

Feeling a stare, Harry turns around to see a relaxed Tom.

"Morning." Harry says quietly, trying not to disturb the peaceful atmosphere

"Morning love."

"Sleep well?"

"Hmm" Tom gets up to walk over to Harry "Would be even more tremendous if you were there when I woke up darling.” he rubs Harry's stomach.

Reaching up to curl his hand in Tom's hair and nose his cheek, Harry giggles at his husband's whiny undertone.

"Well, we all can't have that luxury to sleep in, unlike a certain Dark Lord." Harry squeaks as he's squeezed and squeals as hands caress his sensitive neck. Tom takes the initiative to nibble at Harry's collarbone that was showing since Harry was wearing one of Tom's old work shirts and black satin and lace shorts which complimented his husband's skin quite nicely.

Caught by surprise Harry is picked up and laid on their bed. With his thighs hiked up to wrap around Tom's waist and his husband kissing and nibbling down Harry's body, it's safe to say there will be no early morning.....

What a terrific way to start the day!

~

After a great morning rump, Harry sets off to wake up all of his munchkins.

First starting with Damien. Of course, his eldest boy is still asleep so Harry sits next to his head and cards through his son's tangled waves.

Feeling his mother's presence, Damien wraps his arms around Harry's midsection.

"Morning mum." Damien mumbles

"Morning love." Still moving his hand through his hair, Harry slowly starts to take off the sheets so the cool air in the morning slowly seeps in "Time to get up, gotta get ready for today." Harry pats Damien back.

With a whine “Mum!"

"None of that darling, I already have four doing that."

"Mum it's just the twins and Adrian." Unless Mother was referring to Caius which made perfect sense.

"Oh, I know." Seeing his son's face Harry tacks on "I was referring to your father." With that Harry gets up to wake his oldest daughter, leaving Damien cackling in bed.

Opening the door, "Good morning, my darlings." Harry greets quietly as he already sees Emily awake and brushing her hair at her vanity while Caius was sitting on the bed, mixing his concoction for the potion he and Harry have been making since the start of his third year.

"Morning mum." Emily smiles.

"Morning mummy." Caius says a little later, still looking at his beaker.

Smiling, Harry closes the door and makes his way to the twins' room.

Opening the door Harry giggles at the sight of Ekon dangling from the bed with only his blanket holding him and Rosslyn star-fished with her wild curls splayed out with both pillow and blanket on the floor.

Being as quiet as inhumanly possible Harry opens the curtains to rouse them awake so he doesn't have to deal with more grumpy babies than he has to.

In mere seconds, the twins both start to twitch. A sign since they were born that they were to wake up, maybe albeit more calm than they usually do.

"Morning loves." As a recurring theme, his kids also have his bed head so again he tries to card his hand through their hair so they won't have too much trouble brushing it as Emily has already done.

With a sigh, Harry concludes a new night routine will have to take place, "It seems we'll have to brush your hair at night again." Harry looks woeful as that will bring tears. Of course, they pout at this new regimen but know they can't argue because their hair tends to get quite tangled and it’s hard to brush the next day.

"Yes, mother." Both say, still pouting.

"My poor poppets." Harry kisses their foreheads and makes his way to the final bedroom down the hall.

For the final but not last time he opens the door to see his youngest, cuddling with his dragon. Still, with a fond smile and loving eyes, he places his hand on Adrianus' back and starts to softly wake him from his sleep.

As of right now, Adrian was going through his stage of accidental magic. Although he will always be his sweet boy, there are bitter moments when Adrian's emotions take their toll. With Harry being used to this through already five kids he's quite unaffected by Adrian's anger.

While also going through accidental magic, Adrian was also growing into his reptilian side. In most cases, he can hardly see once he wakes up so it's important for someone to be with him when he does.

Whimpers fell from Adrian's mouth as he opened his eyes to only see fog, and was unable to move due to fear.

Seeing his little boy struggle Harry leans down "Relax button, it'll clear." with that Adrian takes a hold of his mother's hand as he tries not to fight.

With a sigh, Harry looks out through the sliver of light coming from the curtains.

 Some people have far better mornings... 

~

Breakfast went without haste but having to put on the cloaks their Father had ordered to always wear, dampened the lively atmosphere for a short while.

The kids had circled around the door as their parents were arguing in the kitchen and had forgotten to put a silencio.

Emilia looked at Damien and then looked at Caius. The older three were no longer affected by the news as they once were when they were younger but their mother had much to disagree with how Father set out their outing.

They still weren't allowed to go out without their cloaks and could only go into select shops as their last stunt was something people were still talking about.

“Gosh, why do you have to be such a bloody tyrant all the time?!”

“My rules are to be followed, Harry. You already broke all of them this past week with that scare you pulled on my followers.”

“It's not my fault those wankers had a stick up their ass from age eleven!”

“Despite all that, there’s a specific time and place to do activities with the kids. You knew we had a meeting that was scheduled beforehand.” Tom rolled his eyes at Harry’s dramatics

“Please. A schedule? That I made up when they walked in on you with your pants down?”

“...”

Hearing nothing Damien started to snicker at the lack of his father’s response while Emilia glared at him for laughing and gave Caius a knowing look.

This could end up in another damaged foyer.

“Doesn't matter, my rules, you follow them.”

“Your rules you say? Well, what about mine?” They could see their mother crossing his arms and their Father pinching the bridge between his eyes.

“In this matter, your rules do hold no effect and besides how many times must we have this conversation, Harry.” Tom groaned while pinching the bridge between his eyes.

“Until I can finally burn these blasted things!” Harry replied as he went to the cabinet to bring out the cloaks.

Damien again starts laughing but stops when Emilia elbows him.

“Damien, don't laugh. They're fighting!” She whisper-yells.

“And? When don't they fight?” Damien started laughing again.

“Still, you shouldn't laugh, it only encourages them.” Emilia points to the younger three.

“So? They've heard worse Emily.”

“It doesn't matter! We should do something!” She was getting far too wound up about this normal occurrence.

“Oh no, no, no. The last time I tried to intervene I got flung into the wall, Dad was banished to Riddle Manor for a week and Mom did too much framework, no, I will not, I refuse!” He wasn't too keen to stop the argument and get launched into the wall only to be on bed rest at St. Mungo’s because Mother didn't want him to have any brain damage.

“Well, we have to do something!”

“We? How about you for a change?”

“It doesn’t matter who!”

“Then do it! It's like you always say ‘You have to take initiative’ well here's your chance!”

“You're the oldest!”

“You're insisting!”

“It doesn't mean an-” Tired of seeing his older siblings argue so fruitlessly, Caius cuts in.

“I don't think it would be so wise for you yourselves to argue.”

Turning to Caius with her arms still crossed, Emilia asked not so kindly, “Well Caius, what do you suggest we do?”

“Wait it out.” He softly replied. 

What more could they do? If their parents had actually started to fight then it would be time to duck and hide and hope they take it outside, but deep down Caius knew their Mother would have more decorum and walk away from their Father. They, themselves, had a schedule to follow and he was positive his mother would want to follow it as long as they could. Right now is just a slight hiccup.

Soon they heard a dish breaking and took a deep breath as that was a sign their father was about to leave and their mother would storm out the kitchen so they could start their day out.

“Y’know what you bloo-” The three oldest made sure to cover the ears of their younger counterparts as their mother set out to give their father a verbal thrashing. 

~

"Oh, my darlings, you know I wanted better." All the children gave Harry a small smile, knowing their mother always fought with their father about certain matters. “How about this? When we get home we can whip up a batch of fudge. How does that sound hm?” Harry knew it was disappointing to his younger three poppets but this would have to suffice. 

"We'll live mum" Damien spoke for all his siblings at seeing his mother's pout. Still seeing sadness lingering in their mother's eyes made them feel guilty since Harry tried to do everything to make sure they lived comfortably as the heirs of a dark lord and the reputation of being evil serpents who will strike if you're not careful.

Safe to say the people of their world are dramatic.

But that wasn't their mother's fault so it wouldn't be right for them to be scornful to the person who tried to give them everything.

Clapping his hands, Harry rounded all his kids to the door "Well time to move out. Everyone has their lists right?" Harry looks around and smiles happily when he sees all the heads bobbing up and down.

"Wonderful." Holding out his hand to Damien so he can open the door, outside revealed a green misty fog instead of their porch.

"So Thunder and Lightning are with Angel." Both twins take Emily's hand and walk into the mist

"We'll meet you at the joke shop, Mother." Emily says over her shoulder

Nodding Harry goes down his mental list "Now Fox and Dragon." Smiling, Caius picks up Adrian and walks into the mist, remembering to get the dragon talons and not the horn of a wildebeest.

"Time for you Basil." Harry looks at Damien

"Save the best for last." he smirks and puffs out his chest

"Save that for Cordelia love. Are you ready?" Harry smiles

"Mum, I was born ready." Harry laughs in response

"You were born wailing and pink. Now go." Harry scoffs at Damien and gives him a push to the head.

Shaking his head Harry puts his hood on and follows after his children.

Let's see what havoc is in store for the world today.

~

Walking into Diagon Alley was always an experience for all the children. They always had to go separate from one another in order for there not to be a riot that their Father and his colleagues had to fix because of them and their childish games.

Well not everyone has a snitch up their arse like certain people.

They couldn't even walk in looking like themselves! Right now Emily and the twins all had blonde hair and murky green eyes. Caius had dark- brown hair with blue eyes while Adrianus had the same eyes, his hair was still black but instead of the waves, he's so fond of, it’s straight. And of course, because he's a product of his father's asshole tendencies Damien decided to go for the red hair and black eyes.

But Harry was himself because Mummy could handle himself, thank you.

Rolling his eyes at the prosperity of the situation Harry walks in to talk to one of his many business partners.

Walking in the shop, he takes down his hood and-

SPLAT!

SPLAT!

Feeling a sense of joy, Harry laughs at the paint-covered wall behind his head.

"So-

"You're-

"Not-

"Dead-

"Harrykins." Two human giants emerge from the dim nook of the staircase and make their way over to Harry who was still giggling at his welcome greeting.

"Of course not." Hugging the two was a bit awkward because of Harry's belly and the height difference but they made it work since they haven't seen their business partner and honorary little brother in a long while.

Finally able to take a good look at Harry, both Fred and George grew fond and concerned for multiple reasons

1) Their brother was alive

2) Their brother was alive and glowing with a child. Meaning another Gryffindor to train

But Harry looked positively small and fragile which put a frown on their faces since Harry's heart and personality was so enormous. It just seemed wrong seeing glowing eyes full of life and joy but having to see what kind of body those eyes belonged to.

"Well, George, it seems we were right." Fred sighs loudly

"Yup Fred." George folds his arms across his chest

Confusion sets on Harry's face and both men coo when he tilts his head to the side.

"Moldywarts?"

"Oh stop, Tom's not that bad!" Unlike before Harry couldn't go out at all when pregnant.

"Oh no of course not-

"We just mean you're being starved-

"And or being used as a vessel for the ultimate evil spawn- OW!" George yelps

"Alright there Georg- BLOODY HELL!" Fred yells as both twins are swatted with fake scrolls.

A few moments later Harry snaps his fingers making the scrolls fall to the ground.

With the two men flailing, Harry smiles a tad bit sadly due to missing out on some people in his life but only a few who had the decency to stick by him throughout his suffering.

Taking a deep breath, Harry takes a seat on the corner to relieve pressure on his back and calves.

Finally noticing their punishment is over, they smile seeing Harry relaxing as it isn't possible with that many children.

Unfortunately, that moment was broken as soon as it started since Harry could feel his children do something their father definitely wouldn't approve of.

Getting up to his feet Harry races up the stairs of the joke shop to only open a window where the wind was quite stronger than before.

Following him were Fred and George who were frazzled at seeing Harry rush up the stairs.

"Harry-

"You-

"Okay?" Both ask, slightly huffing at the scare and shielding their eyes from the sun.

Still looking outside the window, Harry whispers "Duck."

Confused Fred and George make their way over to Harry and places their hand on both his shoulder but quickly Harry turns around and shouts:

"DUCK FOR COVER YOU IDIOTS!"

Although both men could be daft they knew to cover Harry and crouch.

Flying in like they owned the place was Caius and Rosslyn, then Emily and Adrianus, and finally Damien and Ekon who were all wearing masks that would put the Death Eaters' masks to shame.

And why do you ask? They all had glitter which for some reason annoyed wizards and witches all the same, not to mention Aurors.

See? Tom wasn't the only one looking to annoy the public masses!

With the wind dying down, all three get up from their position on the floor. Although it was a brilliant entrance Harry still had yet to teach moderation for situations.

Clearing his throat, Harry stands in front of all his children "Safe to say you all have your Father's knack for flashy-ness. Yippee for me." Harry mutters the last part under his breath.

Staring down at his children, Harry as an authoritative mother has to lay down some common sense on his thick-headed Sytherindors.

"I'm quite dissatisfied at the amount of cockiness and recklessness that you all displayed. I understand you guys want to have fun after being cooped up in the house for three weeks with only me, your father, and yourselves for company but that doesn't mean you get to throw common manners and decency out like some fools. What would've happened if I didn't open the window in time or some Aurors came barreling through? Even worse, your Father having an outing with some colleagues and seeing you gallivanting in the air without your personas and cloaks on, hm? What then?" Harry questioned as he snatched the cloaks off the ground.

Seeing the kids bow their heads at Harry's scolding reminded Fred and George when Harry and his best friends were in the same spot

"But I will admit that the entrance was astounding. Round of applause." Even though it's reckless and dangerous (he's done worse) at least his children knew how to operate a broom safely and it would be great at family parties for the kids to play quidditch when they're a bit older.

Hearing their mother's praise, all heads pop up and instead of frowns, smiles stretch across each face upon seeing Harry's electric smile.

"Okay, after that splendid display Fred, George, meet the kiddies, Kiddies meet Fred and George" He's content that his youngest will meet their "honorary uncles".

Crouching down to see the youngest three they both bring their thumb and pointer finger to their chins to "analyze" how much damage they would have to make up for in making them full-blown Gryffindors.

A few moments later Ekon, Rosslyn, and Adrianus are now twitching and looking for their mother to help them.

More staring and twitching, Fred looks at George "What'd you reckon, George?"

"I'd say two to three months, depending on how much time we put in every day. We'd be looking at five hours a day tonsure maximum pranking tactics but that's if Moldywarts is out of the house. Harry, kiddies, what do you think?" George turns back to Harry and the kids and starts to laugh at all the wide eyes looking back at him.

Chuckling nervously at the thought of Fred and George coming to the house and having his husband's colleagues wield their wands in battle didn't settle well with him when he was pregnant and had three little ones who didn't even have a wand.

Would be quite a riot in any other situation...

"Well my darlings, it's time to set out. Mind if we use your back door?" Harry asks as tries to help the kids get their cloaks back on.

"You don't even have to ask." Fred comes around to wrap an arm around Harry's shoulder.

"Of course it was good seeing you, Harrykins, kiddies." George closes the window, not wanting any more surprise landings.

With a few more farewells, Harry and the kids continue on the cobbled road.

~

Letting out a sigh, his back and calves once again start to ache. Going outside always takes a lot out of Harry these days with having so many kids.

Of course, he wouldn't trade it for anything but it's nice to not have aches and pains when walking for less than an hour.

Today didn't go as planned, which doesn't happen very much...

Who's he kidding it doesn't happen at all!

They were supposed to have a peaceful afternoon after the debacle during the gala but things aren't as simple when being married to a dark lord, having celebrity status, and taking care of six (well four. Damien has already hit his majority and Emily's is coming up) kids all at once.

Winding up at a bookstore wasn't intentional and Harry wishes it didn't happen at all when he sees a familiar brown bushy-haired witch walking through the aisles.

Turning his head a fraction, Harry addresses the kids "Lovelies, put on your hoods." The command didn't leave any room for argument.

The atmosphere surrounding their Mother was tense and suffocating. Some of the patrons already there noticed the temperature in the shop dropped and quickly made an exit.

Yup, someone other than their Father managed to piss him off. Who the person was really didn't matter to them as they might not live to do it again.

But half of his siblings were still impressionable and his mother was pregnant.......

So Damien does what his mother asked of him and takes a hold of his mother's hand which, he smirks at, is relatively smaller than his own despite his larger-than-life temper and magic.

Leaning down Damien quietly whispers he'll take his siblings to the toy shop across the street and leaves a kiss on Harry's cheek in departure.

Not wanting to leave a dent in the wall due to anger, Harry makes his way to the Chop & Dice section for level one so the twins can learn and not put up with Professor Snape's ultimate grouch and wit because let's be honest the twins can be Devils and Snape is just...

.

.

.

.

Snape

If he hated Harry then his kids he will loathe entirely.

And he's not sure how to feel about that.

Wandering throughout the selections he tries to find a book that doesn't look too bland because his kids are going through a colorful phase that makes Harry so so so happy because it annoys Tom and an annoyed Tom makes a Happy Harry.

~

After Hogwarts, Hermione Jean Granger lived from the war that wiped out many loved ones with minor difficulties.

She still had nightmares and every so often she would jerk due to the side effects of a cruico she endured.

But she had a wonderful, temperamental, ginger husband and three wonderful children who were with their grandmother who was probably giving them too many treats...

Time for another trip to her parent’s house that'll induce screams and tears but it felt right. All her hopes and goals were accomplished. Everything was right in her world...except one thing.

Her first real best friend was married to a psychopath, was deemed the Lord of the Dark Arts, and even had six kids to boot with one on the way or so Weekly Magic had to say.

Only wanting to help, she decided, along with most of the Weasleys to attend the wedding while carrying the reputation of being the most lightest family ever to come across the Magical community but as the saying goes 'you could only help a person if that person wants help' and their help was definitely not wanted nor needed.

She, Ron, and the whole Weasley clan, really should have listened to Harry when he said not to go to the ceremony or after-party. Of course, they all thought that the evil man who he was going to marry was all behind it but it turned out to be all Harry, just trying to save them some face when Molly and Ginny kept trying to discuss plans about the marriage with Harry right in front of the Dark Lord!

Fortunately, they only made it out with a few scratches from being spelled into a rose bush but the look on Harry's face was one of pure embarrassment and disappointment.

To top it all off she could barely make out his red-rimmed eyes as they all spewed out insults that he didn't even deserve.

Not only was it to protect them but to also not make the Dark Lord angry which Harry had to suffer for right after he was dragged off by said Dark Lord.

That was the last day any of them had seen him again in the flesh. Nowadays they were only able to see him when he makes appearances with his husband and kids.

That wasn't her best friend anymore Ron would tell her when she would mention their third. It never has gotten easier for her when she would see him dressed in fancy robes but had bags under his eyes or putting on a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

The biggest mistake was taking Teddy away from him. He was still impressionable at the age of eleven and telling him his godfather was a "murderer" and "a selfish bastard" didn't go so well with Harry. Those feelings had surfaced when they saw that Harry didn’t show up to say goodbye when Teddy was off to Hogwarts. Hermione now realizes he said goodbye when Teddy was first put in Andromeda's custody at age one. Only now is Teddy finally going to see Harry now that he's having another baby.

Teddy has barely been able to look at them for what they did. And rightfully so as they took him away from the only person who could hold some resemblance of a parental figure for him but now that was out the window as Teddy was put in custody of Andy.  

It was unfair to tear them away from each other but the thought of Teddy being in that house with the Dark Lord was far too much to handle. Harry being there was unbearable enough. Even now the feeling remains the same.

Harry was worse for wear when they went to court to settle it. He was alone that day. No trace of a Dark Lord insight.

That day Harry disappeared off the face of the Wizarding World. Most people thought the Dark Lord had done away with him when he was sleeping. Others thought he was living in luxury due to the photos of the wedding being published.

The truth was always stretched. People claimed it was for the greater good. Others said the end of the Wizarding World was upon them and they would pay the price for giving up their boy savior to the enemy.

Dramatics were always apparent for the older folks of the Wizarding World. It was very much a tactic to have more people bring their noses into someone else’s business.

Unfortunately, she never learned her lesson…

~

Finding a recipe book full of sweets that was interesting to keep his children's attention was harder than getting Tom to lock up Nagini and that never got easier.

However, there was one with an interesting cover with many colors and patterns about recipes across the world but he hadn't gotten around to introducing them to new tastes outside of England and Scotland. However, now would be the best time as all the kids were off of school and Tom seemed to be at home more often so...maybe?

"Harry?”

But he would have to make sure there was nothing his kids were allergic to.

“Harry?”

Although it is a recipe book so any ingredients can be replaced.

“Harry?”

Right? 

“Harry?!”

Well, might as well. He doesn't think it would be too disastrous on a Monday afternoon so long as Tom and Damien don't start arguing again and destroy the furniture.

“Oh, Merlin’s beard!” Looking up he saw a familiar face and couldn't help but say:

“Merlin’s beard is right! Don't you know anything about personal space, woman!?”

His day out seemed to be over right before it even started and it wasn't even Tom’s fault. What a damn shame.

Hermoine gawked.

Harry blinked and then turned to make his way to the clerk.

“Shouldn't be so shocked there lassie.” a voice grumbled.

Turning, Hermione jumped as the store owner was closer than she thought.

“You oughta know what that boy is about. Best to leave him alone. The lad has been claimed. Always has, always will.”

“Claimed? He's the most powerful wizard to have ever lived. What's there to claim?” She argued.

The old man smirked at the young woman’s ignorance.

“In time.”

Turning to windows she stares at the cloaked covered body walking towards the toy store where inside others were dressed the same way.

Maybe, maybe Hermonie wondered,  this time around things could be different.

~

Running away from your problems wasn't a tactic Harry thought he would use but this problem you would have to kill for to be gone for good.

Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. He had hoped she wouldn't maybe recognize him but it was inevitable. She was always so very keen from the very day they met.

No matter. It was time to head home, lest Tom sends out the whole body of death eaters to find him. 

Ahhh good times. 

Going up to the toy store window, Harry tries to find the kids. He spots Caius and Rosslyn looking at the new cauldrons that hopefully weren’t full of dust. He saw Damien sword fighting with Emily and Ekon. Looking for his youngest, he saw him hugging a large, red plush dragon. Several seconds later Adrianus looked up and waved at Harry through the glass with a great smile.

“Hi, Mum!”

However, Adrianus’ accidental magic reached out and decided to break the glass window.

And this was what being a parent was all about.

 ~

So their day, of course, had a few ups and downs but there were no riots this time around so Harry wouldn’t have to go through a month of isolation again. However, he still had to put up with a pissed-off Husband which wasn’t even fair since he didn’t even do anything remotely fun!

“I don’t see the point in being so upset.” He sighed, putting down his cloak on the chair. 

“You don’t see the point?” The furious dark lord gritted out.

“No, which is why I said I didn’t.” He grinned and sat down on the plush mattress

Throwing down a file, Tom stood up and immediately started to pace back and forth. The file contained pictures of the kids riding broomsticks in the air, the twins getting stuck in barrels full of tarantula legs which fell out after they were pulled out, an abundance of reptiles that were let out of their cages by a smirking Caius while Emilia was trying to scale the building to get away and Damien was laughing, and the final one was of Adrianus’ accidental magic breaking the glass window of the toy shop with the bill and howler attached.

“Honestly, it’s not like we weren’t going to pay for it.” Harry scoffed. People could be so dramatic!

“It doesn’t matter if we pay for it. They were exposed and you were supposed to be watching them!” He roared.

Harry put his head down in order to think of a retort.

.

.

.

.

He didn't have any but he sure had a headache and was definitely shaken up from Adrianus’ accidental magic today. Combined with the aches and pains he was dealing with he wasn't having the best time.

He didn’t feel right all day to be completely honest. This pregnancy is really taking a lot out of him these days.

"I mean honestly, I ask for you all to go undetected but no! You all have to go out and create chaos!" Tom yelled 

"Well dear, it’s not like they call accidental magic, accidental for nothing you know?” 

"You find this funny Harry?"

"Not funny at all especially going through it the first five times! Just not worth fighting about since he can't control it, Tom! It's easier for you to forget that since you're not here with them!" Harry tearfully shouted

“I remember you being gone all those times when the children had their rounds with accidental magic. What with Damien disappearing to only where Merlin knew! Thank the Heavens he came back in one piece! Or Emilia changing her appearance to a whole other child! Caius almost transporting off a cliff during that picnic! Don’t even get me started on the twins with their endless accidents!” He wailed.

"That's why I ask you not to go out but you and the children insist ‘Oh daddy it’s such a big world out there!’, ‘Oh daddy you’re such a poor sport’, ‘Oh daddy, mommy did much worse when he was younger!'" 

"Well, I did! It's not surprising that they want to explore Tom. You always have us locked up like cattle! Never to see the light of day until you want to show us off!" Harry stood up and became dizzy.

Leaning on the bedpost, Harry closed his eyes and tried not to throw up but it was becoming harder as he felt the bile come up and the constant swaying was making the dizzy spell worse.

"I do that because you all want to do these mindless pranks and shenanigans! Honestly, Harry, you're the mother of six almost seven children. It's time to grow up! You're not in Hogwarts anymore!" Tom stopped pacing in order to look at Harry. Anger was quickly replaced by concern as he saw Harry hunched over.

"Harry, love, look at me." Tom reached out to steady him 

"Tom it hurts" Harry whimpered as his back pain flared up. 

“I’ll call a healer right away my darling.” Tom then started to help Harry stand straight and lead him to sit on the bed. 

As soon as Harry was situated the bile he tried to hold in was spilled onto the carpet, Tom rushed out of the room.

“Damien, Emilia get the towels!”

“Father?” Emilia rushed out of her room not long after Damien ran out into the hallway. He stood still as he saw his Mother crouched over in pain  “Get your Mother the damn towels, Emilia! Damien, don’t dawdle!” He ordered but still noticeably panicked.

As he raced downstairs he could only pray to Merlin, “Not again, not again, please not again!”

…

Not all days ended in sunshine and rainbows.