Hope You’re Holidays are Bright and Gay (”It’s ‘your,’ Cormac.”)
“Who’s next?” Cormac asked, excitedly.
Red-and-green ‘Christmas Swirl’ ink was dripping candy cane splotches onto the cards, causing the Molly Weasley in Ron to despair.
“Dudley and Greg,” Ron said, checking his list.
Cormac shrieked happily. “I love those dudes!”
“And Greg’s baking, I’m sure,” Ron said.
“Definitely that, too,” Cormac agreed. “Especially when he subs vanilla protein shake mix for the flour. Balances my macros.”
Cormac bent his head to the card (this year, he and Ron had gone with a festive set with four winter geese with a holiday wreath, because they couldn’t find any that had both swans and ducks, and geese were basically the best part of both). Cormac wrote out entirely too much, ended up having to scrunch the text around and up the edges of the card, and then finished with a flourish-y signature.
“Your turn!” he said, passing Ron the card. “I’m gonna put on some Ace of Base to get us pumped for these Christmas cards. You want me to mix you a shake?”
“Yeah, thanks,” Ron said absently. “The Chai flavor, please.”
Ron tilted his head, trying to read everything Cormac had shoved into one holiday card for Greg and Dudley. The handwriting was atrocious (normal) but the spirit was there. Ron turned the card, reading up the right-side edge for the closing, and then he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head to himself.
The Ace of Base Christmas album began playing.
“Cormac,” Ron called.
“Yeah, babe?”
“You spelled ‘your’ wrong.”
“No way!” Cormac said. “I definitely checked.”
“You spelled it with an apostrophe-R-E,” Ron added.
Cormac peaked around the doorframe, vigorously shaking a Blender Bottle in each hand. Ron took a moment to admire his muscular forearms.
“But ‘your’ has an ‘apostrophe-R-E’ in it,” Cormac said, brows furrowed, still vigorously shaking their protein shakes.
“Not always,” said Ron. “Only when you’re combing two words. You and Are.”
Cormac smirked, paused to check their shakes, and resumed shaking them. Ace of Base moved into a pop-version of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.’
“Well, you and are a hot toddy,” Cormac said, winking dramatically.
It took Ron a minute to get that, but he snorted when he did. “Thanks, but it’s still the wrong version of ‘your’ to use in the card.”
Cormac frowned, came over, and took the card from Ron. His eyes narrowed as he read through it, turning it different directions to read the text that hadn’t fit in the proper area.
“No, it totally makes sense,” Cormac decided. “I said, ‘Hope you’re holidays are bright and gay,’ and I could also say ‘you are gay’ to both Greg and Dudley, so it’s fine. You’re being a Silly Salazar. Now sign the cards and let’s drop them off at the post office so we can pump some iron and each other’s wangs.”
Ron couldn’t argue with that. Reminding himself not to let Cormac do more than write his own name in Hermione and George’s card, Ron signed his name next to Cormac’s, closed the card, and stuck it in an envelope. Cormac watched him avidly as Ron licked the envelope, pressed it closed.
“You know what,” Cormac decided, setting the Blender Bottles down. “Let’s start with the wangs.”
He spun Ron’s chair around and sunk to his knees, one hand already coming up to play with Ron’s fly. Ron tossed Greg and Dud’s card to the desk, where it slid off the other side and landed somewhere behind the unused radiator. Cormac lowered his nose to Ron’s fly, slowly pulled the zip down with his teeth.
Fuck it, Ron thought, as he leant back to give Cormac more space. Greg and Dud would be fine without a card this year. It would be totally fine.
Cormac grinned wickedly up at him, and Ron stopped thinking about anything but Cormac.