Corridors were empty, which was no surprise for the young lady who was hurrying to her dorm, her books tight against her chest. She just got out of her private lesson of Arithmancy, and night had fallen quite a long time ago. Curfew was over long ago as well, but the headmaster and professors were all aware of her late-night study sessions anyway. And the Prefect, she would just have to, if she was to be ask, showing him the parchment signed from the headmaster’s quill.
Even thought she had the right to be where she was, Hermione Granger was not really at ease. She was mostly afraid of crossing Peeves’ path, the poltergeist of the school. He loved playing tricks to everyone, and seeing her alone might give him ideas. He sorts of had no limits.
She was almost at The Fat Lady, the portrait giving access to the Gryffindor tower, when she heard a noise that startled her in the quiet of the castle. She waited a few seconds, because maybe she’d just imagined it, and shook her head when only silence followed.
“What a stupid imagination, Hermione. Everybody’s in bed at this hour, there’s only you”, told herself, giving her reassurance.
She was about to say the password to The Fat Lady when the noise happened again. A sort of scream, or a whimper. She stopped moving, a shiver going up her spine.
“Peeves, if this is you, this is not funny!”
But her voice was not as steady as usual. She was brave, one of the many qualities she was admitted into Gryffindor’s house for, but the circumstances were making here uneasy.
The whimper kept going, and even The Fat Lady seemed to start worrying.
“Do you have any idea what is happening?” Hermione asked, but the portrait shook her head.
“I’m afraid not, Milady.”
The young student was wondering whether to ignore the whimpers and going to bed, or going to them to see what was happening. Her good nature pushed her to make her choice.
She sighed and held tighter her books against her chest. The Fat Lady asked her what she was doing when she started to walk towards the noise, but Hermione couldn’t focus on what the portrait was saying. She walked in the corridor, following the sounds, and got in front of the door of the Prefects’ bathroom’s. The noise was coming from in there, she was certain. The whimpers were getting weaker, and she pushed the door, heart speeding in her chest. And what she saw made her drop her books on the floor, as water was already soaking her socks. The floor was covered with water, all the taps of the room wide opened. She hardly got herself together and started moving towards the body laid on the wet floor. She had no doubt about who it was, since she was spending most of her time arguing with him.
Draco Malfoy.
Despites the hatred she was feeling towards him, she kneeled down next to him, forgetting everything else. He was bleeding a lot, and his white shirt was stained with his blood. At first, she had no idea where he was wounded. He was looking at her with his grey eyes, unable to speak. He was in pain, she was reading it in his eyes. He was holding his side, whimpering weakly.
Hermione was unable to speak a word, to ask him anything. She held Draco’s hand resting on his body to see the wound, and tried not to throw up. She got his hand back where it was and pressed her hands on it as well. His muscles were tensed, and in other times, Hermione would have minded being so close to him, but she had other things to think about at the moment.
It was a magic wound, and she didn’t have her wand with her. A cuss escaped her lips.
“Your… Your wand, ple – please.” She managed, shaking, tears in her eyes and a knot forming in her chest.
He was now just breathing heavily, staring at her, begging her to help him. He just shook his head. He didn’t have his wand either. She cussed again and bent over to get some of his wet hair off his forehead.
She apologised with the tiniest voice. She couldn’t do anything to help. He was too weak now for her to go to her room and get back with her wand, or even to get madam Pomfrey, the matron of the school whose office was on another aisle of the castle.
He was already dead and there was nothing she could do. She was cold, drenched, and Draco’s blood was already all over her clothes somehow. She got no better idea than to lay down next to him, looking for his other hand. He just gave it to her, and both their other ones were still on his wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding. She intertwined their fingers, as the eyes of the boy were still into hers. She got her hand out of his wound and took it to his cheek, apologizing again and again in a weak voice. His breathe calmed, and she was unable to speak again. She was terrified of what was happening, of what was going to happen.
He smiled. His lips were turning blue. There was no much time left, they both knew it.
Her thumb started to move on his cheek, in order to calm his shakings, or maybe it was hers, she couldn’t tell. Her finger moved slowly to his lips and stayed there for a few seconds. He just looked at her, his eyes slowly emptying of the life’s sparkle.
She suddenly got up, her body fully shaking and her face completely wet from her own sweat. She looked around her as she tried to catch her breathe, and sighed when she recognized the red and gold curtains around her four poster bed.
“It was just a dream” she whispered, realizing. “Just a dream.”
It was more of a nightmare, actually. Now that she was slowly getting back to reality, she was realizing how this strange dream was filled with inconsistences. She needed a long time to breathe properly again, her hand landed on her heart which was still beating at a crazy speed.
“Everything seemed so… Real.” She thought, as she was finally recovering a decent breathing pattern.
She looked around her, at her roommates all sleeping deeply. She got out of the bed and got to the common room in a perfect silence. She was having this strange feeling, and it was not only due to her nightmare. Something was up, she could feel it. She looked at the clock, it was five am. She sighed again. She had two hours ahead of her before others start to wake up and head to breakfast. What could she do in the mean time? She knew she couldn’t fall back asleep, too afraid to go back into that dreadful nightmare. She didn’t want to study either, as she obviously knew every lessons, in advance, on the top of her wand. And she didn’t even have the head into it. And she didn’t feel like reading. The only thing she was feeling like doing right now was to make sure Draco was alright. But she couldn’t leave her house’s tower and wander in the corridors at this hour, and she had no mean to get inside the Slytherin’s donjon without a password. Plus it would be so weird for her to be in there, as she never really made friend with anyone from this house. It was a lost cause, really, and Hermione was destined to wait for breakfast in the Great Hall if she wanted to make sure Draco was fine.
She was one of the first to get in, and had a relief sigh seeing he was here. Sat alone at the long Slytherin’s table, with empty eyes and dark circles underneath. He visibly didn’t had a great night of sleep either. Hermione hesitated to take advantage of the fact few people were in to go and see him, but he was still Draco, and he hated her. And she hated him. These were facts. And he was well alive, in front of her. He just had a bad night, just like her. No need to get on its Hippogriff or something.
She just got to her seat, keeping herself to stare at the boy, as her two best friends got inside the room. Harry took a seat in front of her after bending over the table to kiss her cheek as a good morning, and Ron got on the left seat next to her, kissing her the same.
“I’m not going to ask you if your night was good, your face says it all.”
“Thank you, Ronald. It’s always nice to be complimented early on the morning.” She said with a smile, rolling her eyes as she threw herself a drink of juice.
“You’re welcome,” he smiled as he got himself a slice of cake. “But please, stop calling me Ronald. Would be nice as well.”
“Except, like you this morning, I don’t seem to want to be nice, Ronald.”
She insisted on her friend’s name, trying to keep a serious face when she really felt like laughing along with Harry. It didn’t last long and soon, thanks to the offended look on Ron’s face, she started to laugh as well.
This was one of the many reason why she loved her friends. They always managed to cheer her up, without even knowing why she was down in the first place. And again, why was she down this morning? It was just a nightmare.
The day went by and Hermione managed to put her nightmare on the back of her head to focus on everything else. But it was still here, somehow, and she couldn’t help but to take peeps towards the blond boy, as to make sure he was still here and seemingly okay.
It was only after dinner she had the chance, if she wanted to, to talk to him. She was heading up to the Astronomy tower to get some air, and had the surprise to find him there, sitting face towards the sky, with his legs in the void.
She doubted again. He would think she was crazy. Well, crazier than usual. And he would probably not even listen to her anyway. But she knew if she didn’t get it out of her system, she would have the nightmare again. That was how her brain, her twisted brain, worked every time.
She stopped a few meters away from him, and slowly caught her breathe.
Her voice was far from steady, and she had no idea which words were going to come out of her mouth.
“Hm… Draco?”
Her brain was smart and called him by his first name, which she usually never did. But she didn’t want him to think she was going in for a new fight.
There was a silence, and Hermione wondered if he even heard her, and was about to insist, but he finally answered, with an indefinable tone.
“Yes, Granger, what’s going on?”
He didn’t move, his tone wasn’t aggressive, yet he chose to call her by her last name.
She couldn’t get herself to move, to get to him and to just touch him, to make sure he was really there. She just remained where she was, and felt so stupid when her next words escaped her lips.
“I… Are you… Are you okay?”
“You came here to ask me that?” he was smiling, Hermione could tell.
“No. Of course I didn’t, I…”
She was feeling absolutely ridiculous. It was the very first time since she knew him she was lost for words in front of him. And she hated that. It wasn’t like her. At all.
“I’m fine.” Draco started again, still not looking at her. “As you could tell the first hundred time you laid eyes on me today. I’m flattered, by the way.”
He finally turned a little to look at her. She somehow felt herself blushing but couldn’t seem to look at her feet with embarrassment. At least, she was getting to talk to him now, as he seemed to be well disposed for that. For once.
“So, what is bothering my favourite nemesis?” he confirmed her thoughts.
Was is some sort of affection? The "favourite" part?
Draco patted the empty place on his left, his piercing grey eyes looking expectedly at the Gryffindor girl.
She hesitated once again, and couldn’t help but thinking that she went all the way to this moment, and she needed to go ahead and finish it. So she quietly moved toward him and sat cross-legged where he invited her. It was strangely comfortable, even if the void beneath them was not the most reassuring thing ever. She finally dared to look at him, and he was not looking back at her, his eyes focused on the sky. She noticed again his dark circles; he wasn’t as okay as he pretended.
“You had a bad night as well.” Hermione stated, and Draco shrugged. “Nightmare?” Hermione asked, this time not sure, and Draco simply nodded.
The girl got quiet, not sure of what to say next. She wanted to know about his nightmare. What could put him in a state like that, when he usually seemed so invincible? She had really no idea why she was suddenly so very interested in him, why the nightmare she had made her have all these thoughts, why she needed to make sure he was alright. The silence was sort of peaceful, if you’d asked Hermione. At least, if you’d asked her before Draco spoke again, with the harsh tone she knew him best.
“Yet, it is none of your business, Granger.”
Yes, the peace time was over. Next to her was now the Draco she always knew, the one without the soft face she just witnessed.
The boy got up, and in his eyes was glittering the usual hatred he carried around.
“Wait, Draco, I…” Hermione tried, and the Slytherin stopped, surprisingly.
Maybe it wasn’t all lost, then. She got up as well but didn’t move towards him. She just waited a few seconds, looking for what to say, but Draco was faster.
“Don’t even bother. It’s not worth it. Why do you even care?!” he was still not facing her, and seemed pissed off. Before she could answer anything he kept going, seemingly impossible to control. “Stop all of this, you filthy –”
“Don’t finish this sentence!” Hermione was faster, this time. “Don’t you dare finish this sentence, Draco.”
She felt like she was finally back, like the word he was about to say had woken her up, and she couldn’t even think about how she always felt when he call her that, and wasn’t ready to hear it once again. Not tonight. Not after a day like this one, where she worried all day after a dreadful nightmare. It was not fair. Not fair at all.
Slowly, the boy turned over to her, with the smirk Hermione hated so much on his lips.
“Or what?”
“Just stop, Malfoy.”
Oh, he wanted a fight? He’ll have one, Hermione was playing by his rules now.
“Why are you always so unsecure about everything you always come to insult me, uh?” she crossed her arms against her chest, and it was her turn to smile. “I just want to talk to you. To talk with you. Calmly.” she added in a calmer voice.
Alright, maybe she didn’t want to play by his rules tonight.
“I have nothing to say to you.” And he cut her as she was about to protest, “And I don’t want to listen to you.”
But she did anyway: “Why?”
The boy shook his head, not believing what was happening before his eyes. He decided not to answer and just turned over, starting to walk towards the door. But Hermione was bold enough to chase after him, and got between him and the door before he could do anything else. Her back was glued to the wood, and Draco’s chest was really close of her body. She thought about her nightmare and her hand pressed against the boy’s wound. She thought about his muscles tensed because of the pain.
“I’ll let you go if you tell me why you won’t talk to me.”
“Oh, Merlin, I don’t know?” he answered with the most sarcastic tone he ever had. “Maybe, wild guess here, because we’re not friends?” he raised a brow, really wondering what the girl was actually thinking by asking him that. “I don’t have anything to say to you. And I don’t owe you anything. Why do you even care? Let me go, Granger.” He finished with a sigh, and tried to reach the handle of the door.
But the Gryffindor girl was quicker and grabbed his wrist in a nervous move, then got softer, yet kept it in her palm. Something different settled on Draco’s eyes, and somehow she was not scared at all. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. She was being ridiculous, she was very aware of that. What she wasn’t very aware of, on the opposite, is why it mattered so much to her. Sure, she was afraid of going back into this nightmare, but here, there was something more. It wasn’t about her nightmare anymore. It wasn’t even about her, anymore. He was not okay, and nobody seemed to notice until now. Nobody seemed to care. How long has he been like that, was what Hermione was wondering, starting to get a little scared about the answer to this question.
“Please.” She insisted with a soft voice. “Please, it’s important to me.”
“I don’t bloody care, Granger.”
Of course he didn’t.
Draco finally sighed and got rid of the hand Hermione still had on him. He took a few steps back, getting his fingers to his hair and looking far from angry, when he usually was in situation he had no control over. He could just petrify her and get out, it was that simple. Yet he remained here, seemingly waiting for the girl to move out of his way, on her own. Not something she was used to with the boy. She almost moved out of the way to let him go, somehow grateful to see the boy was making some weird efforts to stay calm. But she really, really needed to know why this time was different. Why he was different.
“Alright. Tell you what.” She started, but he rolled his eyes and cut her before she could keep going.
“Are you deaf?”
“What?” she frowned, uncertain.
“Ok, so you are. That explains a lot.” He half-laughed, getting both his hands to his face, looking desperate. “I don’t want to listen to you. Let me go.”
“Yeah, well I don’t care about that, see? I can be like that too, how surprising.”
“It is surprising, indeed. The know-it-all actually have feelings.”
He faked a surprised face, and Hermione was not even hurt by the surname. He wasn’t the only one calling her that, and something she was actually proud to be one, even if that wasn’t the truth. She didn’t know everything.
“If I indeed know it all, Draco, I know feelings.” She stated, and he rolled his eyes again, starting to really get tired of the situation “Plus it’s funny you say that, when you’re the most hateful person I know.”
She tried to blame herself because she just lost her temper when the point was not to fight. She was right, but she shouldn’t have said it, because that wasn’t what Draco needed right now. She should apologize now but she couldn’t. She just… She couldn’t.
“Sorry to break it to you, hatred is, in fact, a feeling.” Draco finally cut her thoughts.
“I know it all, Malfoy, don’t you remember? I was just saying hatred is probably all you know. So to reduce me not to have feelings is -”
“You’re bloody unbelievable.” He got his arms up in the air, looking bewildered.
The Gryffindor remained silent, as Draco was now starting to lose his temper, at last. He started to pace in the room, his hands all over his face, probably to calm himself down. She bit her lips, keeping her eyes on him. He was going to talk to her, she could feel it. And somehow, she was really happy about it. Maybe, maybe, they could work something out, and maybe, maybe, they could become more than nemeses. Or less. Whatever.
“Alright.” He started again. “Alright. Granger, I’m running out of patience, and it’s a fair warning. You should really think about it. I never give fair warning, you know that.”
“Then why are you giving me one?” she frowned again, and Draco let a deep sigh escape his lips.
“Seriously, Granger. I don’t even… Why the… Why are you even here talking to me? Don’t you have your dear friends to help study or something? Why do you even care, I don’t get it.”
“I had a nightmare, Draco.”
“Great I’m glad to know that. Don’t you have, I don’t know, friends who actually care about your life?”
“That’s not – Draco, I’m – That’s, uh…”
Hermione inexplicably struggled with words, unable to really express what she was thinking, as she didn’t even know what she was truly thinking. Draco smirked, folding his arms over his chest, finally getting his well-known fake confidence.
“Yes?”
“Oh, so now you’re willing to listen to me?”
It was the Gryffindor’s turn to fold her arms, raising her brows in interest. Draco’s smile faded instantly and he dropped his head backward, feeling annoyed again.
“Merlin, why are you doing this to me.” He groaned, and Hermione rolled her eyes.
“You do know if you agreed to talk earlier, you would already be out there doing whatever you please, right?”
“Granger, I’m… I swear.” He pinched his nose while getting his head back into place. “I don’t even get the whole point of this.”
“Then just answer and you’ll be -”
“Alright alright!” he cut her, desperate. He folded his arms back and looked defiantly at her. “what is it.”
“Are you okay?” Hermione asked the second after.
The following silence was deafening. Hermione held her head high, staring right into Draco’s eyes who was still too proud to let go first. Yet when the sound of her question reached his ears, something changed in his look, and Hermione felt her chest fulfil of a weird sensation. She was right. She was right. Something was off.
For a split second, Draco lost it, and finally broke their eye contact, closing his eyes and sighing once more. His arms lost their grip and they fell along his body.
“Are you seriously -” he whispered, then stopped. Sighed again. “Just, like.” Stopped again, opened his eyes, wondering what he could say, really. “Hermione, are you even real?”
His question was genuine, the girl could see it in his eyes. Hatred was gone. After all, it was not all the boy knew about. In his eyes, now, Hermione could see something new. Something she did knew about him, but something he never showed anyone.
“I had a nightmare, Draco.” She said again, and this time the boy didn’t react, focused on her. “You were in it.”
‘Regular’ Draco would have said something witty right there, but this one remained silent.
“I was finding you… Dying, on the floor. And I know it was just a stupid bad dream, and it shouldn’t even affect me like it did, but… I have this bad feeling about it. Like something’s off. Like… Like this nightmare may become a real thing?”
The Gryffindor girl stopped, looking for a reaction that never came. She bit her lips. It was too late to come back now, anyway. She sighed, and dared to take a few steps ahead, her eyes still locked with his. She stopped a few seconds later though, still at a fair distance, and kept talking.
“And I’m… I’m actually scared for you.” she confessed.
A surprised look appeared on the boy features, so quick that if Hermione had blinked she wouldn’t have seen it. She was breaking the wall a little more.
“I know what you’re going to say,” she raised her hands in the air, getting suddenly thrilled, “you’re going to laugh, you’re going to make me pay for whatever reason you’ll find because that’s how it works between us but…” she hesitated a few seconds, “I don’t know, Draco. I don’t know what to do from now on, I just want to… I just want you to know, that I know.” she stated, and he raised a brow, seemingly asking what the hell she knew, and so she told him. “I know you’re not as okay as you pretend. You’re different. Your eyes, they don’t… You’re not… you’re different. And sad.”
The silence finally fell, and the girl waited, amazed by the fact she’d been able to say all of this to him, even if she was sure she was going to regret it later. She was even more surprised to notice their eyes were still locked. She realized it was the very first time, since they met, Draco was being vulnerable in front of her. She was seeing all of him, she was having a look at his soul through his eyes, she could tell. She was right, he was different.
He brought his left hand to his mouth to hold a gasp, and closed his eyes, his hand still where he put it. He was looking for words to build up his wall again, he was looking for something witty to say so he breaks the moment and wins the fight, but the truth was, and it was the hardest thing to admit, he was shook. She read right through him.
Yes, he was sadder these days. Yes, he was having trouble sleeping, because of all the pressure his father was putting into him. Yes, school got harder, and he was missing his mom who was slowly getting away from him.
He thought he was good at hiding all of it, though. Blaise hadn’t seen a thing and he was his best friend, so for his nemesis to have noticed… The boy was shook, indeed.
She was unbelievable. She had a nightmare with him in it. In other times, he would have laughed, just like she said. He would have made fun of her and made a dirty joke about it, adding it was a pleasure to disturb her even when she was sleeping, but the thing was… She dreamt about him. She thought about him. She was scared for him. And it was something new for Draco, to have Hermione caring this way about him. And he liked it.
Hermione dared to walk towards him, and she slowly put both her hands on his arms. Draco jumped, surprised, and opened his eyes, but didn’t move. She was touching him. And it was nice.
“What are you thinking about?” she whispered.
“You.” Draco let out without hesitation.
Before he could take it back, he got it out of his system, to make sure she was hearing it and he wouldn’t go crazy. Or maybe he was in fact going crazy, but he didn’t care because all that mattered was her, for now. He wanted to make sure all that mattered was her, because it was the moment to do so. It felt right, and Draco didn’t want his messed-up brain to hold him back, just for a second. Just one second, and he’ll be back. He cleared his throat, getting anxious.
“Right now, all I can think about is you, Granger.” His voice was soft, so soft. “How unbelievable you are, by Merlin’s beard.” It lowered to a whisper. “Thank you.”
Before the girl could ask what the thanking was for, and before Draco could think of not doing it and hold himself back, he leaned towards Hermione and grabbed her waist, while her grasp lost strength around his arms due to the surprise, and his face touched hers the second after. He closed his eyes once again, this time to forget everything but the fact he was having his lips on the girl who was able to read what no one else could, what he was never able to say.
And he was aware that it was nothing like him, that nothing could work out after this, that it would only be weird after all that, and that she would have the opportunities to make fun of him whenever she pleased, but he couldn’t help to hold on her just a little tighter, for a mere second.
His wall was breaking down, and she was getting a glimpse of what was behind. And it all started thanks to a nightmare.