The Past
It happened after dinner. The night had gone well up until Caitlyn had brought Vi’s world crashing down around her.
She had spent most of the evening watching a pot of stew on the stove, occasionally stirring and adding in more seasonings as she waited for Caitlyn to get home.
She’d been so focused on her cooking that she had no idea Caitlyn had walked in until she felt her arms slip around her waist and her lips press against her cheek in greeting. Turning around, Vi embraced her, one hand coming up against her cheek as they kissed before Caitlyn rested her chin on top of Vi’s head to see what she was making.
“Vi, if this tastes as good as it smells, I might propose to you here and now. Where did you learn to make this?”
Vi laughed and turned back around to the stove, giving it one last stir before she turned the burner to the lowest setting, grabbing the ladle and the bowls she’d gotten out. “Most nights Vander’d be too busy running the bar or running around the Lanes to make dinner, so he’d leave a note with instructions on it in the fridge. Eventually I got bored, started making my own recipes, built off the ones he would leave. After a while, I got so good that even when Vander was done early he’d be the one helping me.”
It was getting easier to talk about him without her voice breaking, but even three months after his final passing, the thought of him sent a shock of pain through her. Something must’ve shown in her face, because Caitlyn placed a hand over hers, stroking her thumb with hers. After a moment, she pushed Vi towards the table, taking the bowls and the ladle, doling out a hearty, steaming helping for each of them.
* * *
They’d eaten out on the balcony, under the stars looking out over the city, laughing and chatting between mouthfuls. The stew was incredible, perfect for the chill that had begun to set in as spring became fall. After both of their bowls were empty, they stood out leaning on the railing, looking at the city and the progress that had come in the wake of such a harrowing ordeal. The rebuilding topside was nearly done, and the work in the undercity would be unbelievable if they both hadn’t been down there themselves, working with the firelights to fix everything. It wasn’t just being returned to the organized chaos it had been before the war; work was finally, finally, being done to fix the issues at the root of Zaun’s problems.
Shimmer was out of production for good, and the last two chembarons had been told in no uncertain terms that they were to either disband their gangs, or stop squabbling for control and start working to improve the condition of the city. Slowly but surely, Sevika, with the full weight of House Kiramman behind her, had been pushing for more and more funding in order to permanently improve the quality of life for the Zaunites. Through sheer force of personality and will, with some coaching from Caitlyn, she had already guaranteed improved ventilation, water filtration, housing and access to the same high quality medical facilities as the rest of Piltover, covering the costs of any illnesses or conditions caused by the dangerous living conditions they had previously endured.
It was still in talks, but businesses were going to be given financial incentive to either open up new installations in Piltover, or to hire from the massive pool of unemployed Zaunites. Chross, if he chose not to disband, was to similarly be given incentive to fold his Hush company in with Piltover’s communications network, ensuring that he would continue to oversee his branch and everyone currently working for him would continue to be employed. Margot would be allowed to keep her pleasure services, but her and her workers would be granted the same protections sex workers in Piltover enjoyed.
Ekko’s treehouse was now officially an orphanage, a home for any child that had lost a parent, whether in the war or previously, and he would also be given more financial support from the vast coffers of the houses on the council.
Vi would regularly go down there to help with the day to day operations, cooking meals for the children, organizing activities, bringing books from the Kiramman library for them to read. Often upon finishing her work with Sevika, Caitlyn would make her way down to the tree to help out, finding Vi reading to those that couldn’t read for themselves yet, with the smallest ones asleep in her lap or on her shoulders. She helped Vi give self defence lessons to those old enough, teaching them how to be aware of their surroundings, to use their environment to turn the tables on their opponent, when and how to strike back.
Every time Vi watched her with those kids, she fell in love all over again.
They would walk home together, Vi exhausted but with a light in her eyes that had been absent since she’d been locked in Stillwater so long ago. She would fall asleep in her partner’s arms, and would stay asleep for the entire night.
There was still work to be done, but for the first time Vi could remember, the stars shone bright enough to push back the darkness.
* * *
Eventually they’d gone inside, hand in hand, to finally settle down for the night. Both of them were too tired and cold to do anything else besides strip down and crawl under the blankets next to each other. Vi grabbed her book off the bedside table and began reading out loud, her head nestled into Caitlyn’s shoulder.
She’d only gotten a page and a half in when Caitlyn motioned for her to stop, sitting up to face her. Vi, confused, sat up to match her, turning to look at her and noticing immediately that Caitlyn was chewing on her lower lip, working herself up to say something. She took Caitlyn’s hand in hers, gently massaging it before she asked, “What’s up Cupcake? You can tell me anything, you know that.”
Caitlyn nodded, still not meeting her eyes, and squeezed her hand back before she exhaled and began to speak, rushing the way she always did when she was nervous. “There’s something I’ve been keeping from you for a while now and I know we’re not supposed to keep things from each other but this is different and I need you to promise that you won’t go and do anything rash. If you need some time alone I’ll understand, but I hope you’ll understand why I didn’t tell you right away.”
Vi felt a chill run through her, but she told herself that it wasn’t going to be as serious as it sounded, that it was just Caitlyn’s anxiety running away with her. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid, and I promise that I’ll still love you, Cait. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you.”
Caitlyn took another deep breath, squeezed her hand one more time before she finally met Vi’s gaze and said the words that brought reality to a standstill.
“I think your sister’s alive.”
* * *
Those words still echoed through her brain, ricocheting off the walls of her skull, multiplying, overlapping, thundering through her mind again and again and again until she’d lost track of how long she’d been sitting there. The steaming water dripped from the ends of her hair, her eyelashes, rolled down her back and into the drain. She unwrapped her arms from around her legs, lifted her forehead off her knees and lowered them until she was sitting cross legged on the floor of the shower. She stared up at the faucet, closing her eyes and feeling it run down her face, trying to drown out the tempest raging in her mind.
It helped. It always did. Whenever she had a bad dream, or she found another mural of her sister and the memories threatened to overwhelm her, as they did now, she’d found that sitting, eyes closed, letting the near boiling water wash over her, did wonders to still her mind.
It had to have been at least an hour. She vaguely remembered the water turning cold for a time, before it had ramped back up to the sweltering heat she found so relaxing.
She began to replay the conversation in her head for what might’ve been the hundredth time. She remembered how the words had hit her ears like fists to the sides of her head. She had gone still, hands limp, mouth partially open, just staring at Caitlyn. She’d collected her hands into hers and held them, gently stroking them while she waited.
She finally found her voice, and spoke.
“What?”
Caitlyn began to repeat herself before Vi cut her off, her voice beginning to break, “No, she can’t be. That explosion was HUGE, you saw what it did to Va- to Warwick.” Her voice finally broke as tears started to spill from her eyes. “And that’s not even mentioning the fall.” And she saw it happen again. Jinx, Warwick’s massive clawed hand wrapped around her waist, falling into oblivion.
Still rubbing her hands, Caitlyn looked down again as she said, “I know, it’s hard to believe but the only body we found was your– Warwick’s, nothing of Jinx’s, and while I was studying the Hexgate blueprints, I found some air ducts right below the ledge Ekko found you on. I checked those, and found scuff marks and bloodstains leading out of one of them. Matching that with the reports of a hooded figure with blue hair stealing an airship later that week, I don’t think it's a stretch to say she’s alive. It’s not a guarantee, but it seems likely. Being impossible to keep down seems to be a familial trait.”
Vi barely heard those last words, didn’t register the nervous laugh that came with them. Everything else was fading, and all she could see was the moment she lost her sister for the last time. Or so she’d thought. Why wouldn’t she have come back to her? Why would she steal an airship and run off without a word to anyone? Where would she have gone? And why did it take Caitlyn three months to tell her?
She’d gotten up from the bed slowly, unsteady on her feet. Caitlyn had let her, tears forming in her own eyes as she’d watched Vi stumble away, tears beginning to fall from her face.
She muttered something about needing to think, not sure if the words were coherent and not particularly caring.
The world around her reduced to a dizzying haze of too much color and light, she had still managed to find her way into the bathroom, switching the lights off, turning the shower on and sitting down with her head on her knees.
* * *
Coming back to reality felt like resurfacing after a long time underwater, her mind slowly beginning to clear as she grew calmer. She’d managed to reign in the thoughts swirling around her head, and had calmed down enough to feel like she could breathe again.
She could understand Jinx leaving. The city had been nothing but cruel to her, constantly taking and taking and taking until she’d had nothing left. Leaving everything behind to go and remake herself somewhere new would be an appealing prospect.
What she still couldn’t figure out was why she had let Vi believe she was dead, why she hadn’t said goodbye or left a note or anything. Just before everything had gone to shit they’d been on track to being something like family again, to restoring everything they’d lost that night so long ago, burned away in the building that took their siblings. Even after everything, she’d finally gotten her sister back again, and for Jinx to just up and leave without a word, without letting her know that she was still even alive, felt like being abandoned by the only family she had left.
Vi sighed, letting her head hang before she stood up, turning off the shower and toweling herself off. She needed to talk to Caitlyn, needed to know why she’d waited so long to tell her, and why she thought her sister had left things the way she did.
She found her where she’d left her, laying in the bed, facing away from the door as she tried to fall asleep. She clearly wasn’t expecting Vi to come back to bed, and as Vi walked through the doorway, Caitlyn rolled over to face her, eyes widening at first in surprise as she met Vi’s before softening. She briefly attempted a smile, before quickly abandoning the effort and sitting up to greet her as Vi sat on the edge of the bed, one leg hanging off.
Caitlyn trepidatiously extended her hand, brushing her fingertips over Vi’s arm, and when Vi didn’t move away, she laid her hand over her forearm. “Are you okay, love?”
Vi nodded slowly, her throat still feeling tight.
“I know you probably have questions and I’ll try my best to answer them whenever you’re ready. I can’t promise I’ll have all the answers but I promise not to keep anything else from you.”
Vi nodded again, swallowed, reached for the glass of water she kept on the bedside table. She drank, swallowed again before turning to face Caitlyn and asking, “Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you knew? Why didn’t Jinx tell me she was leaving? Why,” and here she had to take a deep breath, steady herself before pushing on, “Why did she leave me thinking I’d lost the only family I still had?” The tears welled up, but she wiped them before they fell.
Caitlyn squeezed her arm, moved closer to embrace her fully and held her there before she answered. “I think to answer your first question I need to answer the other two. The answer is rather complicated, as I’m assuming a lot about what Jinx was thinking, but I think she did it to try and protect you.”
“Protect me? From what?”
“From yourself, Vi. I think she thought that if you knew she was alive you would try and go with her, ignore your own wants and needs the way you always do. She wanted to give you time to process on your own, properly heal and let go, do what you wanted instead of feeling responsible for protecting her. She wanted to give you a chance to live, Violet, and the easiest way she could see to do that was to let you believe she was gone.”
Vi considered everything she was saying, and as hard as it was to admit, she was right. If she had known Jinx was planning on leaving, she would have tried everything in her power to convince her to stay, and failing that she would have given up everything to leave with her. She still blamed herself for losing her that first time, and that guilt led her to push down all of her own desires, replacing them with a need to serve the people she loved, and at the top of that list, despite it all, was her sister.
And thinking through everything, she could guess why Caitlyn had kept this to herself for so long. “So you didn’t want to tell me until you thought I was stable enough not to immediately run off after her. Waited until I’d made progress unpacking all the shit I’d been lugging around for the past seven years.”
She felt Caitlyn nod, closed her eyes as she began slowly running her hands through Vi’s hair. She felt the exhaustion set in as she began to come down off of the adrenaline and the raw emotion that had been swirling through her.
“I am still mad that you kept it from me, even if you probably were right.”
“I know darling, and I’m sorry. I hated keeping it from you, if that makes it any better.”
“It doesn’t really. But I get it. I forgive you. I don’t think I’m really even mad at you, it’s just all been a lot to take in.”
“I know love. Keep in mind, I could still be wrong about it all. There’s no hard proof of any of this, it’s all just conjecture based off of a few pieces of evidence, but if I was a betting woman, I would put money on me being right.”
“I think you are too. My sister and I don’t go down easy. If anyone could make it outta that alive, it would be her. Too stubborn to let something like that take her out.”
“Being extraordinarily hard headed does seem to run in the family.”
“Shut up Cupcake.”
“Love you too.”
“Scoot over, I wanna get in bed.”
“Tired?”
“Mhm.”
“...Vi?”
“Mm?”
“We’re still okay, right?”
Caitlyn felt Vi nuzzle deeper into her shoulder as they lay there, pull her tighter as they drifted off. “Of course we are. Just no more secrets, mkay?”
“I promise.”
“Except the fun ones. Like surprise dates. And surprise parties. Those are okay.”
“Surprises aren’t the same thing as secrets.”
“Mmmm whatever you say. G’night. Love you.”
“Love you too.”