My Dad, the Boy (*Man) Who Lives

Jötunheim, March 26th 2011

It was the land of winter, home realm to the frost giants of the nine realms. This morning, he never would have imagined that he would have to step his foot upon this land; yet, here he was, landing on this desolate icy realm to prevent Thor from inciting a war, again.

He lost count of how many wars he had thwarted from his brother laughable diplomatic efforts. All the great big oaf knew was battle, adventure and anything to do with his brawn and not a sense of wit. The eldest son of house of Odin was clueless when it came to talking and avoiding casualties, even with how much effort Loki put to advise him to do so.

The great God of Thunder wanted glory and victory and fame so his name would be sung throughout the whole nine realms. It was frustrating how much the people of Asgard and their Father encouraged him of his deeds by praises and songs of valor.

The younger Prince of Asgard felt that his older brother would be a great king, who would bring Asgard to its grandeur time. As much as he loathed saying it, his brother was charismatic and a people-person. None could resist how bright he shone with his prowess and magnificent charm. People just drawn to him liked moths.

There’s no likelihood he would be chosen as heir and Loki had been joyous and satisfied to be Thor’s right-hand person. He was the black sheep of the family because of his mischief.

Although, Loki applauded himself as a very cold-headed advisor and as much as he loved to see Asgard throve, he knew he would never be a good ruler. He liked to strategize from behind the scene instead of charging towards battle and danger, which was Thor’s main characteristic.

Therefore, it’s infuriating how much the magnificent great giant goat didn’t listen to his wonderfully crafted plans and advises. Decades and decades of talking to make him listen to reason and in the end, Loki has always had to be the better Asgardian by swallowing his pride and saved him and his companions, the Lady Sif and the the Warriors Three, Fandral the Dashing, Volstagg the Voluminous, and Hogun the Grim. More like Overbearing Wench and the Buffoons Three.

It’s not the sorcerer’s fault that he despised Thor’s so-called friends, well Hogun was alright most of the time with his quietness. The God of Trickster didn’t have the best past experiences with them, with the wench as the head of goons. She always tried to undermine Loki’s position and worth in Thor’s eyes and ears.

It’s as if she’s jealous that even with Loki’s infamous mischief and love of playing pranks on others, he was still the one Thor searched for advice, with however minimum he followed the brunette’s counsels. Mostly, Thor usually just did what he almost always done, used his fists, brute force and hammer, mjölnir.

The only Aesir the giant buffoon listened to the most were his mentor, the most beloved Queen in Asgard, their mother, Queen Frigga. Even the great Allfather, Odin Borson, their father listened to her; nevertheless, Thor usually half-listened and half-not; furthermore, with their mother’s duties of overseeing the household matters and diplomatic dignitary matters, she did not have time to watch over Thor’s behaviors.

Again, Loki believed his brother would be a great king someday, emphasized on the word someday. But, right now, he would not be one. Not yet.

The Blond god was still too in love with the idea of brute force for peace. Loki adored his shallow-minded of a brother, but the Asgardian prince was reckless and he feared for the fate of the nine realms. He loathed admitting that his brother would bathe their realm with blood to appease his need for battle.

A day before the coronation…

“Mother, please,” Loki pleaded to the Allmother in one of her rooms. “He’s not ready.”

“Loki, my dear son,” Frigga sighed, in her seat. “The decision has been made. The ambassadors and the guests have all been invited to the ceremony. It’s only a day away my son.”

As frustrated as he was, he respected his mother too much to argue with her, but he felt the weight of the fate of the nine realms resting on his shoulders right now. He needed to reason with his mother and it would be easier to deal with her through reasoning and compromising.

“It’s unbecoming of you to want to delay your own brother’s crowning, my dear,” she smiled tiredly at him. “Your father has grown too weary for the throne, Loki. He’s not getting younger with time.”

He felt a squeeze in his heart at his mother’s accusation. Lowering his eyes to the floor, he said quietly, “I know mother that Father has outgrown his years in ruling and as much as I love Thor,” he looked up at his mother from where he was sitting,” He is not ready. He’s still too immature and he enjoyed flirting with battle too much for the good of the Aesirs. His temper is a terrifying thing.”

“In due time, your brother will learn from his mistakes,” Frigga informed him wisely. “And with you by his side, Asgard will prevail.”

“But until when, mother?” He asked none too loudly. “As of this moment, he only partially listened to my counsel during our journeys. I’m frightened; he would not listen to the counsel from the advisors when he became King. He’s not ready.”

Suddenly, Loki felt drained out from this battle of words. “I’m frightened of the fate of Asgard if he were to be put in this position when he’s not yet at that point of his life to be sensible. He will be a great king. I believe that in my heart, and I will follow his lead. All I asked for is time. He needs time to grow into the great king we all want and trust him to be.”

“Loki, I don’t think…”

“I can show you, mother,” Loki begged her. “I can show you that he’s not ready.”

“How?” His mother said wearily.

“Just a little misdirection and mischief,” Loki’s smile grew slowly. “I promise you, this plan wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Loki,” the Allmother spoke with a warning tone.

“Nobody would be hurt,” the God of Mischief put his hand upon his mother’s hand. “You shall see.”

Nobody was supposed to be hurt. But Loki yet again underestimated how much his brother would react.

The plan was simple. Frigga would talk to Odin about letting Thor down slowly from being coronate with a reason that his oath to destroy Jotunheim and all Jotnars would break his oath as the ruler of nine realms, to protect all nine, when Jotunheim was one of the nine.

It was a reasonable reasoning, but he miscalculated the fact that his great big oaf of a brother was a very temperamental person. He threw tantrums and as childish as he could be, he vowed to do what he promised to do, bring the war to the Jotnars.

Simple to say, their parents were not very happy Asgardians when their eldest son shouted at them and portrayed such irresponsibility character. Allfather was furious and canceled the real coronation stating to Thor that he had displayed lack of leadership, diplomatic and volatility; thus, very unbefitting for a king.

As retaliation, Thor complained to his companions while drinking in the empty banquet hall due to the coronation being cancelled and Loki, disgusted with his whining, left the premises to go to the horse stable.

It’s been a while since he visited Sleipnir, the eight-legged war horse he raised and presented to the Allfather as a gift. The brunette was quite happy that their parents were able to see the real Thor that he had been have to deal with this whole time.

It was enough. Asgard shall live in peace for another day.

That was until he forgot he had left his book in his haste to flee his brother’s company. He debated whether to go and retrieve his book or stay here for a while. The second option seemed more appealing since he didn’t want to be near Thor when he’s being an unpleasant company.

Then his decision was made when a group of attendants came to usher the stable boy to hurry up and prepare the horses for Thor and his friends. It didn’t pick his interest at first even as the attendants leave with the horses, as it wasn’t a common occurrence for Thor to venture and seek for a way to release his anger and tension by traveling to other realms to hunt and kill some beasts. Or even anger the population of the other realms when his demand wasn’t fulfilled. Thor’s temper was a dangerous thing.

Anxiety suddenly crept towards Loki’s spine. What if Thor decided to be a petulant boy and started a war by misspoken to the other dignitaries from the other realms he chose to visit to appease his anger? That would be a disaster; thus, Loki shifted into a crow and flew to search for the company.

As a shapeshifter, Loki was proficient in changing into many kinds of forms but whenever he turned into a form of animal, his mind would be clouded with the instinct of the form of which he had taken.

But even as a bird, Loki could see that Thor was arguing with his friends about something when the attendants brought them their horses. He felt intrigued and yet, more troubled than before. It’s a very rare and almost unheard of occasion for the four bilgesnipes to have a quarrel with his older brother. Moreover, if the four felt the need to argue with his brother then whatever Thor was planning to do couldn’t be anything good.

The God of Trickster prediction was correct when they rode pass through the massive gate on horsebacks, leaving Asgard behind. The group of five rode along towards the most astounding path in this realm or any other called Bifrost, which was the famed Rainbow Bridge.

In the distance far ahead , the Bridge continued on until it reached Heimdall’s Observatory. Heimdall, the Gatekeeper of Asgard stood at his post on the Bridge before them, blocking their way when the company arrived there. (Excerpt. Thor1 script)

Loki watched from a distance in his bird form. Heimdall conversed with them, still holding onto his massive sword, sternly and disapprovingly at them. When the dark-skinned God tilted his head a little towards Loki’s location, prompted the group to look at where the god has been looking at, he knew his location has been found out.

Loki transformed back into his original shape and before long, he found out that the argument was about Thor going to Jötunheim to slay the frost giants.

“This is madness, Thor,” Loki disputed, with a disapproving look on his face. “Father would never allow it. Gatekeeper please reason with the oaf.”

“Hold your tongue, Loki,” Thor hissed, looking coldly at him.

Loki couldn’t help but flinch at his brother’s cold words and expression. Didn’t he know that Loki is trying to prevent him from being throttled by their father? Or worse, be thrown from being the heir and future king? Trying to slaughter the Jotnars would be a political suicide with how thin of an ice they were with the peace treaty.

“It would be unwise to start a battle with the Jotnars, milord,” Heimdall said gracefully. “Allfather would not approve of it.”

“Heimdall, the safety of our realm is no jest,” Thor argued. “And if I conquer Jötunheim, Father will resume my coronation and I shall get us rid off the filthy beasts. You heard what the old warriors are saying. They are savages and menace. All the realms shall be better without them and all shall hail my name for these heroic deeds.”

“Thor, listen to me I…”

“Silent, brother!” He shouted at the brunette before ordering Heimdall,” As the future King of Asgard, I will not be disobeyed by a mere Gatekeeper.”

The tall God threw a sharp look towards Thor with his eerie golden eyes and to Loki despair, he climbed into the large control apparatus at the centre of the room and readied the Observatory.

Before he opened the Bifrost, the Gatekeeper warned the godling,” Be warned. I will honor my sworn oath to protect this realm as its Gatekeper. If you return threatens the safety of Asgrad, Bifrost will remain closed to you. You’ll be left to die in the cold wastes of Jötunheim.” (Excerpt. Thor1 script)

When they stepped onto the platform, Loki argued again,” Heimdall, this is foolishness.”

But he already opened the bridge and off to the realm of forever winter they went.

“I cannot disobey the order from the crown Prince, but I have alerted the king to this act of obedience,” Heimdall answered calmly. “I suggest you try to stop your brother, my Prince.”

Disgruntled, Loki gave a sharp nod before he himself surrounded by the bright light of the bridge and immediately arrived at Jötunheim. For Odin sake, Thor has gone mad with fury if he thought that starting a war and breaking the peace treaty would get him on Father’s good gracious.

He cared about his brother so much, but sometimes… a lot of times he wished Thor would just use his brain instead of brute force. Idiotic oaf.

The blizzard whence he arrived was freezing and almost unbearable. It prompted Loki to use a warming charm on himself and before long; he arrived at the ensuing battle.

He didn’t get a chance to speak to his brother with the snowstorm brewing but he had to fight a Jotun warrior. Then another one and another one and so on.

It wasn’t easy and they were prominent opponents, not just because of their physique and size but also because of their agility. The Aesir blood inside of him thrummed with the joy of battle and it wasn’t an easy task to try to put his foes down without ending their lives.

Loki could already see the expression on the Allmother’s face if she found out that he had used violence and not his words. She would be most disapproving; hence, the use of lethal not deadly spells and mostly hit them on their limbs.

Vaguely, he heard Thor’s voice near him, trying to call for Heimdall’s help. Loki could already guess that this battle was too much and exhausting for him. It wouldn’t be a wonder if one of them were to be hurt for the oldest prince to call for the Gatekeeper.

“Fool! Heimdall would not be opening the bridge when there’s a battle on this side,”Loki shouted in the middle of the white storm.

Then suddenly his opponent got a handle on his fight and managed to reach his frosty hand towards Loki, but in a quick movement, Loki managed to dance around the stretched arm. If Thor ever found out that he used dance moves to avoid their opponents, he would never hear the end of it, Loki sneered annoyingly in his mind.

Out of nowhere, the light from the bifrost appeared and Odin Allfather appeared with gungnir on his hand and clad in battle armor, riding his royal steed, Sleipnir. It was an imposing sight.

The ensuing fight ended as well as the blizzard. Finally he could see where the great big oaf and his companions were and the march of frost giants parted to allow another giant through to whom Loki assumed was King Laufey.

Both leaders walked until they faced each other and started talking and compromising. Laufey didn’t look very happy, but Odin proposed to give them back their most powerful weapon, the Casket of Winter to amend what the treaty Thor and his friends have broken and how many jotnars they’d slaughtered.

With a binding vow not to misuse the Casket from the king of Jötunheim and its future kings, except to fix the realm, Laufey accepted, looking none happily but also not discontented.

As the Jotnars let them part ways, Loki sighed in relief and kneeled in front of his father,” Thank you Father. I did not know what I would have to do to stop this bloodshed. I apologized for being unable to stop my brother.”

Odin smiled and inclined his head up for Loki to stand up,” You have tried my son,” before looking quite heatedly at Thor and his friends who still tried to defend their actions.

“Father, with you we will be able to defeat them!” Thor bellowed. “How could you let them have the Casket of Winter?! We should destroy them while we have the chance!”

“Silent! I am talking to your brother.”

With that, his brother was silenced immediately.

“You did well, Loki,” Odin put his hand upon Loki’s shoulder and shooting disapproval look at Thor. “We will discuss your punishment, Thor. Heimdall.”

Just a second before the Bifrost appeared, one of the Frost giant ran towards Thor with his ice spear raised in the air. They were all transported back to the Observatory, including the Frost Giant that tried to attack Thor.

Odin put a stop to it with his magic, stopping the Jotnar from stabbing his eldest son. “Stop. You are attempting to harm my son when the new treaty has already been enacted.”

“He killed my child!” The jotnar hissed in his language.

“And we have given what your realm needed the most back,” Odin warned him. “You are hereby will be a prisoner of Asgard. Guards, seize him.”

The guards produced the special cuff that would allow them to bring down any kinds of beings from nine realms and put them on the jotnar. But the size of the giant made him difficult to be taken away. He managed to run with cuffs on him away from the Observatory.

“Let me handle him father,” Thor exclaimed, preparing Mjolnir.

“You have done enough,” Allfather said with thunder in his voice. “Loki.”

“Yes, father,” Loki disappeared and transported away to stand in front of the frost giant who has ran away towards the rainbow bridge outside the Observatory.

With his magic, Loki tried to apprehend the giant but desperate as he was, the jotnar used his body to push against the sorcerer. He held his hands out to prepare for the impact with magic and he knew it’s not enough to shield him from the cold. But instead of feeling the burnt, he saw the ice slowly creeping up his body from where the jotnar’s body touched his hands.

Horrified, he pushed the frost giant away with a spell and staggered before falling on his behind. The moment they disconnected from each other, the blue sipped out of him and Loki held his hands in front of him looking bewildered. “What is this?”

“Loki, it’s not…” Father hurried towards him, looking pinched.

“Father, what is this?!” He exclaimed, looking frightened at his own skin. “What am I?”

Thor followed by his companions and the few guards have arrived behind his father, looking puzzled.

“Loki?” Thor asked, looking confused. “You turned blue for a second. What magic have you used?”

“What am I, father?!” he demanded in dismay, ignoring his brother in favor for his father’s explanations.

“You’re my son,” Odin said carefully.

“Am I cursed?”

Looking weary and in front of audiences, Odin answered, “I found you after the war. You were just a babe abandoned in the temple. I did not have the heart to leave you.”

Loki heard gasps, but he ignored it. “Why didn’t you tell me? All this time and you hid this from me.”

At the accusation, Odin kneeled in front of his son trying to reach his hand towards him, but Loki flinched and dragged himself away from the person who have raised him since childhood. His father… no, king of Asgard looked in pain and sad, but he stomped down the guilt raising in his chest.

“You are my son,” he admitted, putting his hands on his lap. “Whatever you look like, blood or no blood, you are our son, Loki.”

Before he could ask for another explanation, suddenly he felt an excruciating pain blooming on his abdomen. Slowly he looked down to where the pain pulsating. It wasn’t unexpected why he felt so much pain at the same time. There was an amount of thin ice stalagmites protruding from that injured part of his body. Loki had almost forgot about the ran away frost giant.

“I want you to feel my pain God of Thunder,” the frost giant cackled madly.

At the moment of his demish, he noticed a few things. He could hear his brother calling his name in that heart-broken exclamation. His father devastated shock face. Thor’s idiot friends looking horrified at him and the guards bringing the jotnar, his killer down.

Loki felt light-headed from the blood loss and it was hard to stay awake when he started to feel numb from the pain. He knew he wasn’t going to last when he felt himself started to fall backwards.

It was a shock when he didn’t feel the surface behind him and kept falling.

The last thing he saw was the look on his family’s face. Allfather looked ashen and old. Looking ever bit his age and Thor looked guilty and disbelieve with his jaw hanging in a silent scream.

Maybe him dying and falling was for the best. There’s no body to mourn.

As much as he was a great ambassador and diplomat, he was not a leader. The people of Asgard respected him but they didn’t exactly know him with how bright and popular his older brother was. His fellow noblemen envied and despised him for his position and being arrogant, whence Loki thought himself as self-important and thinking of the good of Asgard and all the nine Realms. The soldiers and old warriors and generals detested him for his used of combat magic, even when he was the best at throwing knives and close combat with his speed among the Aesirs and even the other beings in the nine realms.

The only people he loved were his family and before this, he truly believed that they loved him too. Yet, as much as Allfather tried to explain it, he didn’t feel like he could trust the man he called father since he was a little babe. These days Thor only talked to him when he needed Loki’s help. Mother has always been mother but could he trust her? She also kept the secret about his true birth. At least, he was relieved that mother was not here to see him died.

The pain has numbed the shock of the truth of his true heritage. He felt quite betrayed at his father and horrified of the thought that he was the monsters that Thor sworn to slay all these time.

It was all too much for Loki. He embraced death that awaited him as he closed his eyes and accepted the void as he kept falling and falling to the deep unending darkness.

***

Somewhere in the void, Loki opened his eyes, hoping that it would be the last time he wake up. For a second he faintly heard someone said amiably ,” Death is not ready for you yet, little godling.”

***