Loss 1 Gain 2
1979
Since before the lady of the house got her third pregnancy, the mansion was always appeared to be almost deserted. The old Jarvisā couple were always there to take care of the house after the housemaids went home after dinner time and usually sooner since the lady of the house have many days booked with her fundraising and charities. Moreover, the master of the mansion was busy with his inventions, company and his yearly expedition in search of the body of Captain America.
It was a cold house, they said. No warmth or the comfortness of what a lived in house should be.
But, then It all changed when the madam got pregnant. After a couple of miscarriages, Mr. Stark whose eyes always looked cold and hard except when he gazed upon his friends and wife, kissed her upon her forehead and just said three words,āLetās stop trying.ā
After all the tears she shed and all the sadness he felt every time he saw her hope shattered, they agreed to move on. He started working more and she focused her time more with important matters in the world, like raising money for poverty.
As time passed, Maria Carbonell Starkās years grew in number and the white in her husbandās hair covered his head, the news, the employees, their friends and the people in the world began to think that the Starkās line would end with Howard.
No one could have imagined that at the age of 42 that Mrs. Stark would be pregnant yet again and this time the baby inside the womb grew passed the first trimester. The power couple was very excited in sharing their happy news to the world.
Howard Stark stayed at home almost every day, loving every second he got with his wife. Listening to her talked to the fetus. Rubbing the womb as he told it about Captain America. Kissing each other and just be the happy couple they were before life hit them with the reality of losing their previous babies.
Before he saw the baby or feel the baby in his hands, Howard loved it. It didnāt matter if his child would be a boy or a girl. It would be his child. He would love the baby no matter what.
When the first contraction hit, it was the most nervous and scary time in the inventorās life. Still, his wife needed him to be calm and he hid it under his collected feature and calming reassurances.
āWe're almost thereā, he told her. āWe would be able to see our child soonā, he said.
The moment to deliver the baby couldnāt come fast enough as they wait in the hospital room. The miracle time was coming and he was beyond excited. They both were.
As he accompanied her into the delivery room, the monitor suddenly spiked up. The man could feel his heart stop. The time seemed to slow down. He was numb with concern over his wife and baby.
The millionaire didnāt even realized that he was being ushered out of the room until he felt a hand grasping his elbow. He jerked in shock. It was his old friend, Edwin. The butler looked calm but he was eyeing him with worried gaze. He was opening his mouth, trying to ask him about something.
Yet, the businessmanās mind was blank and his ears were buzzing as the fast beeping of the heart monitor kept repeating on and on in his mind.
In the end, Edwin managed to bring him down to sit on the chair. His wife, Anna brought him a cup of hot tea. Howard held the paper cup in his tremble hands. Though drinking the hot beverage wasnāt on his mind since all of his thoughts went to his family inside the room.
It was minutes, that felt like dreadful long hours before the doctor went out to tell them that they have lost their son and his wife was sleeping and recuperating. Howard felt his heart burned out, but he got no energy to be furious or launching himself at the cruel fate. His chest felt heavy when he thought of how he would tell Maria.
His wifeā¦ Oh God, his poor wife.
Sheās been so happy this year. Maria was glowing andā¦
It would kill her.
Howard couldnāt even feel the hot tears welling down on his eyes. He was justā¦ drained andā¦
His poor wife.
***
The hospital staff had moved his wife to a new clean sheet and a bigger bed. Nobody knew about their loss besides Edwin and Anna, along with the doctor and a couple of the nurses. Edwin made sure to have them signed an NDA and gave them money to buy their silence for a short while. It wouldnāt be long, but Howard couldnāt sic the pers on his family.
He would be able to handle them, but Mariaā¦ he wouldnāt let them near his wife until she was ready. Or whenever sheās ready
Howard didnāt know what time he dragged himself to sleep next to Maria on the big bed. But the slight jolt to his left woke him up immediately. Then he knew Maria has woken up.
Darkness still crept around their surroundings because Howard couldnāt feel the sting of the sun rays before his eyelids.
The moment he opened his eyes, their eyes met. He saw her smile, so delicate and beautiful, like the first time he saw her on the beach. Not a second sooner, the smile disappeared. Something on his face must have pronounced the horrible news. Her lips trembled, brows creased in distress.
āHowieā¦ā She choked on her words as the water from her eyes felt upon her cheeks.
Grief and sudden realization marred her pretty aging face and he couldnāt stand it anymore.
He pulled his wife closer. Her chin rested on his shoulder as he sniffed the smell of jasmine upon his wifeās hair before starting to caress her gently.
āIām sorry, honey.ā He whispered brokenly. āIām so sorry.ā
As he kept mumbling the words of apology, he could feel her tears dampening his shirt. Together they cried in each otherās arm as they mourned for their loss.
***
It was morning when he woke up again. He was frantic for a moment when his hand was searching for the warm body next to him and yet couldnāt find any. Before he could panic, Edwin knocked on the door and escorted him to the nursery room.
There she was, standing next to a young lanky man with a pair of glasses and dark hair in blue shirt. What stunned him was the look on his wifeās face. Sadness still pasted on her feature, but there was a sudden beauty upon her smile as her gaze focused on something below her. In her arms, there lay a blue bundle.
A glimmer of warmth and hope filled his mind as he thought,āthatās my wife and our child.ā Then darkness crept back into him when he recalled what theyāve just lost.
But his thought was broken when he saw a flash from the corner of his eye, later loud footsteps running away not far from here echoed in the hallway. And then he thoughtā¦
DAMN IT
***
After a long discussion, the young man, might as well called him Harry, agreed to their deal and let them adopted his son. As a businessman, Howard thought that this contract (he and Harry agreed to have it on a paper and legalized immediately by their discreet lawyers) was easy and cheap on his part.
From the second he looked unamused at Howard offering him some financial exchange, he could tell that the young man was well off or wealthy as he can be.
Another trait he must have as a businessman was observation, so he was quite good at judging character. (like how he knew that Obie was two faced but sadly he couldnāt proved he was doing any harmful things to the company; nevertheless, Howard would kept a watchful eye on his business partner)
When he talked to the young Brit, he noticed the man kept stealing glances at his wife, whom was holding and cooing at the little baby. It wasnāt the look of unrest at having his baby handled by a stranger after just recently losing his wife or the pity look at a woman whom just lost a baby. Surprisingly, it was a look of envy and longing at the baby, not Maria.
Thereās a possibility that Harry was an orphan, maybe lost his mother at a young age. And the way he agreed in the end to the deal could possibly mean that the Englishman was in fact had no other family besides his son.
Ā
Probably he longed to have a family, a big family he dreamt to have which was lost when his wife died. He felt for the young man. A bit, since he knew what it's like to have a cold father and an absent mother. Dreams of having a family was a lost dream in his past when war happened. Then he recalled that old dream again when he met Maria.Ā
Ā
When his wife got permission from Harry to try to breastfeed Anthony, she left both men alone in the white empty room. The atmosphere felt heavy all of a sudden.
Possibly because the young man felt awkward sitting in a room with a stranger and the stranger, himself still mourning over his own loss.
Howard felt envious.
Envy at this young man, whom got to have his baby.
Envy at his wife, whom appeared to forget about their own deceased son.
Envy at young Anthonyās survival when his own son died.
āIām sorry for your loss.ā
He looked up suddenly when the young man addressed him and it hit him when he saw him fidgeting on his seat. The way he saw his own expression mirrored on the other fatherās face.
Their situation were not that different.
He grieved for his son.
This man grieved for his wife.
His wife grieved but was probably trying to make the best of the situation.
Young as he was, Anthony would never got to know his mother.
Their loss might not be the same, but they were in the same boat.
The inventor curled up a tiny smile. An understanding, yet sad smile.
āIām sorry for your loss.ā
Yesterday, Harry was a stranger. Today, Howard might have gained himself a new friend.
***