Liham sa Ulap

“Jho,” Aiah softly whispers as she stares at Jhoanna intently.

She couldn’t tear her gaze away and she didn’t know why. She just wants to savor this moment kasi hindi na niya maipagkakailang miss na rin niya si Jhoanna. All that avoidance leads her to nothing but missing her a little more.

Jhoanna blinked again, her eyes focusing slowly. A soft smile played on her lips, a subtle curve that Aiah found utterly captivating.

"Is something wrong?" she whispered, her voice husky with sleep. The question hung in the air, a delicate thread connecting their gazes.

Aiah felt a blush creep up her neck, the heat spreading across her cheeks. She couldn't speak, couldn't tear her eyes away from Jhoanna's face, from the way the light caught the subtle blush dusting her cheeks.

Aiah's heart pounded a frantic rhythm against her ribs. She wanted to reach out, to trace the curve of Jhoanna's lips, to feel the softness of her skin. But the fear of rejection, of ruining the fragile moment, held her back. She swallowed, the lump in her throat making it difficult to breathe.

“W-Wala, I j-just found you sleeping here and thought na kailangan mo ng bantay since it’s already late.”

“Anong oras na ba?”

“I’m not sure now, but it’s already 7pm when I got here.”

Jhoanna leaned closer; her breath warm against Aiah's face but she didn’t flinch. Her perfume… it smells like summer and sunshine, Aiah thought, her senses overwhelmed. The proximity was electrifying. What could Jhoanna be thinking at this time? Hindi rin mailayo ni Aiah ang mukha niya kasi she can’t deny the fact that she’s enjoying this too. The proximity, the moment, the music in the background playing, and Jhoanna, who’s intently staring at her.

Then, Jhoanna sat up, breaking the spell. The sudden movement jolted Aiah back to reality. The intense intimacy vanished, replaced by a thick, awkward silence. She felt a pang of disappointment, the enormous connection severed by the mundane act of Jhoanna sitting up. Why did she have to move? she thought, frustrated.

Jhoanna rubbed her eyes and blinks rapidly which made Aiah’s brow furrowed. That’s when she realized that Jhoanna cannot see clear because she’s not wearing her glasses. Dali dali niya itong kinuha at binigay kay Jhoanna.

Jhoanna mutters her ‘thank you’ and immediately put on glasses. At doon na nagsimula ang pagkahiya niya nang mapagtanto niyang si Aiah nga talaga ang kaharap niya.

Si Aiah na hindi niya nakausap ng ilang linggo. Si Aiah na miss na miss na niya.

"Sorry," Jhoanna mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep. "I didn't realize na napatagal pala yung pag idlip ko.”

Aiah cleared her throat, the sound oddly loud in the quiet room. "No, it's okay. Why should you be sorry for dozing off?" she managed, her voice a little shaky.

“Sabi ko nga.” Jhoanna awkwardly replied, she bites her bottom lip and focuses her eyes on the screen.

Two weeks. Two weeks of silence, punctuated only by the occasional, fleeting glimpse across the crowded campus hallways. Two weeks since that last normal conversation, that moment of intense connection, now shrouded in the awkward fog of unspoken words and unanswered questions. Aiah shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes darting nervously towards Jhoanna, who was already seated at their usual table. The air crackled with an unspoken tension, a stark contrast to the easy camaraderie they once shared.

Jhoanna looked up; her eyes meeting Aiah's for a fleeting second before quickly dropping back to her laptop. A faint blush colored her cheeks, a subtle sign that the awkwardness wasn't one-sided. The silence stretched, heavy and uncomfortable, filled only with the clatter of the keyboard and the murmur of a song playing in the background. Aiah felt a knot of anxiety tighten in her stomach. Why isn’t she speaking at this time? Hindi na ba niya gustong makipag usap sa’kin? The question echoed in her mind, a bitter reminder of their self-imposed distance.

Finally, Jhoanna cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "I-I… I think we should go. G-Gabi na masyado." she said, her voice soft and almost hesitant.

Aiah nodded, her throat suddenly tight. "Yeah, I think we should," she replied, her voice barely a whisper. 

Nag ayos na sila ng gamit after that. Aiah turned the aircon off as well as the other lights, leaving only the bulb outside their office.

Aiah caught Jhoanna stealing glances at her, her eyes filled with a mixture of curiosity and something more – a hesitant longing that mirrored her own. The silence between their carefully constructed sentences was thick with unspoken words, with the lingering memory of that one time in the comfort room and the intimate moment at the gymnasium, with the weight of two weeks of unanswered questions. The school council office, usually a place of sterile formality, felt charged with a different kind of energy – the unspoken tension between two people who had once been close, now separated by an invisible wall of their own making.

Sabay silang naglalakad ngayon sa hallway ng school papuntang parking lot. Tanging ang tunog ng mga sapatos at ingay lamang sa paligid ang naririnig habang magkatabi sila. No one dares to speak, nor even take a glance at each other. Aiah and Jhoanna walked side-by-side, maintaining a careful distance, the space between them a physical manifestation of the emotional chasm that had opened up between them over the past weeks. The usual easy banter, the effortless flow of conversation they once shared, was absent, replaced by a cautious hesitancy, a careful treading of eggshells.

Aiah kicked at a loose pebble on the pavement, her gaze fixed on the ground. The familiar path, usually a source of comfort, felt unfamiliar and unsettling tonight. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves and the distant hum of traffic.

As they reached the parking lot, the vast expanse of empty spaces mirroring the emptiness Aiah felt inside, Jhoanna stopped, turning to face her. The streetlights cast long shadows, blurring the lines of their faces, adding to the already palpable sense of unease. She hesitated for a moment, her fingers gently rubbing the skin on her elbow. Then, she spoke, her voice barely a whisper, barely audible above the night sounds.

"Do you… do you have a ride home?" she asked, her gaze searching Aiah's face. The question, simple on the surface, felt loaded with unspoken meaning. It wasn't just a practical inquiry about transportation; it was a tentative reach across the gulf of silence that separated them, a subtle invitation, perhaps, to bridge the distance, to re-establish the connection that had frayed over the past two weeks.

“Uh, I’ll just book grab nalang.” Aiah replied and got her phone.

Jhoanna's brow furrowed slightly.  “No need, Aiah. Let me drive you home.”

Aiah hesitated for a moment, “Thank you, Jho, pero—”

“I insist, Aiah. Come on, mas okay kung sa akin ka nalang sumabay. Mas convenient pa.”

“No really, it’s okay. I can manage.” Aiah stammered, her voice barely audible. “Tsaka it’s not too late pa naman.”

“It is, Aiah, and it’s not okay,” Jhoanna said, her voice firm but gentle. “And honestly, it’s not safe to be alone waiting for a grab at this hour.”

Aiah's heart skipped a beat. The offer was unexpected, a bold step across the chasm of their awkward silence. She wanted to accept, to let Jhoanna bridge the gap between them, but the fear of confusion, of ruining the fragile hope that had rekindled, held her back.

Jhoanna's expression softened, a hint of understanding in her eyes. “Don’t worry, you can actually avoid me again after this, Aiah. Ngayon ay mas importante lang talaga sa akin na safe kang makauwi kaysa sumakay ka pa sa iba.”

Aiah felt the words strike her like a blow to the body. She was unaware of how deeply Jhoanna was hurt and how much her avoidance had been misunderstood. In addition to creating space, her meticulously built wall of distance had also created a way of miscommunication. She felt a deep, severe gnawing remorse. She thought, with her heart hurting,

I didn't mean to hurt her. I was just scared.

Her eyes strayed to Jhoanna's profile, where the faint light from the dashboard highlighted the fine features of her face—lines that were carved with concern and maybe a trace of resignation. Aiah felt a range of feelings, including sorrow, guilt, and a frantic need to fill the void she had so recklessly caused by providing an explanation. The words stuck in her throat as she opened her mouth to speak, to untangle the tangled strands of miscommunication.

Wala nang nagawa si Aiah kung hindi pumayag nalang na ihatid siya ni Jhoanna. They were silent as they pulled away from the school, it’s heavy and full of unspoken emotions.

Aiah felt a like a fool. She admits to herself that she have missed the girl beside her but can't bring herself to talk to her. Kasi, ano nga ba ang sasabihin niya? Paano niya sisimulan? Kung mag o-open up ba siya, hindi ba siya iju-judge ni Jhoanna? Hindi na siya pinapatahimik ng konsensya at alter ego niya. Masyado nang malakas ang mga boses sa utak niya. She's been fidgeting on the car, the sound of the engine softly hums in the background and her gaze just focused on the streetlights outside, silently hoping that the ride will soon end.

But amidst these chaos in her emotions and mind, hindi parin talaga nawawala ang thought na kailangan na talaga niyang makipag usap kay Jhoanna. It's basically the best option para matapos na ang lahat ng ito at magkaroon na siya ng peace of mind. Not only to her, but also for Jhoanna, too. So, after some careful deliberation with herself, she decided to apologize first, and talk with the rest of the details after.

Taking a deep breath, she starts.

“I’m sorry,” Finally, Aiah found her voice, her words a shaky whisper barely audible above the hum of the car engine. “It’s true that I’ve been avoiding you these past few weeks.” she managed, her throat tight with emotion.

“I… I didn’t want to do that. It’s just…” She trailed off, searching for the right words, the right explanation for her self-imposed exile. The fear, the insecurity, the overwhelming jumble of emotions that had driven her to avoid Jhoanna, felt impossible to articulate.

Jhoanna glanced at her, her expression a mixture of sadness and cautious hope. "Do you think it’s a bad idea?" she asked, her voice soft, laced with a vulnerability that mirrored Aiah's own. The question hung in the air, a silent plea for understanding.

Aiah turned to look at Jhoanna, her brows slightly furrowed and she tilted her head, hoping to understand what Jhoanna is implying.

“Ang ano?” Aiah asked.

“Mali ba ang ginawa ko that day, Aiah? Do you think na worth it ba na naglahad ako ng feelings sa’yo?” Her voice trailed off, the unspoken question hanging heavy in the air. The vulnerability in her voice was palpable, a stark contrast to her usual assured demeanor. She was exposing a raw nerve, laying bare her heart, and the uncertainty in her eyes mirrored the fear in her voice.

“It’s been on my mind after that moment kasi. And you avoiding me feels like a punch in the gut. It made me realize na baka nga mali ‘yung ginawa ko. Na dapat pala sinarili ko nalang ‘yung emosyon ko para sana okay pa tayo ngayon.”

Aiah's heart skipped a beat. The memory flooded back – the nervous energy, the vulnerability in Jhoanna's eyes, the way her voice had trembled as she confessed her feelings. A wave of shame washed over Aiah. Her avoidance hadn't been just a general fear; it had been a direct response to Jhoanna's confession, a cowardly retreat from the vulnerability of reciprocating such intense emotion.

Pero what is she implying? Nagsisisi ba siya na nagconfess siya sa'kin? Does she not like me anymore?

But then again, kasalanan ko naman kung bakit.

“I’m sorry kung ganoon ang naging dating sa’yo, Jho. I swear, I didn’t mean to do that.” A lie. She knows it herself. “I… I just panicked.”

“I know, Aiah, and I completely understand that.”

“Are you mad? Galit ka ba sa’kin?” Aiah asked, her voice sounds like she’s in the verge of crying.

“Huh? No, Aiah. Gosh, how could I?” Jhoanna immediately replied, her gaze occasionally drifting to Aiah’s.

Nang makita niyang kumikislap na ang mata nito’y agad siyang humanap ng bakanteng space para ihinto ang sasakyan niya. She is slightly panicking seeing Aiah that way. Nang maihinto niya ang sasakyan ay agad niyang tinignan 'yung katabi niya who’s now pouting, trying to save the tears from falling.

Jhoanna reached out, her hand covering Aiah's, her touch tentative, hesitant, yet filled with a quiet strength. “Hey, hindi ako galit Aiah.” Jhoanna said softly, her voice thick with emotion.

“I can never bring myself to hate you. I like you too much for that.”

The words, simple yet profound, were a turning point. But before Aiah could even process the meaning, before she could respond to the unexpected confession of reciprocated feelings, the tears that had been welling up finally spilled over. The relief, the overwhelming wave of emotion, the sudden understanding that she hadn't ruined everything, broke through her carefully constructed defenses. She started to cry, not tears of sadness or regret, but tears of overwhelming relief, of joy, of a connection finally acknowledged, a vulnerability shared and understood.

"I wasn't ready. I was scared of… of messing things up, of hurting you by rejecting you, or… or worse, of reciprocating feelings, I wasn't sure I was ready to acknowledge." The words tumbled out, a torrent of raw emotion, a confession of her own vulnerability, her own fear of intimacy. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed, her voice choked with emotion. "I thought you were mad at me. I thought I’d ruined everything."

Jhoanna reached out, her hand covering Aiah's, her touch tentative, hesitant, yet filled with a quiet strength. The anger Aiah perceived was replaced by a wave of empathy. "No, Aiah," Jhoanna said softly, her voice thick with emotion.

"I wasn't mad. Nasaktan lang din ako. Confused? Oo rin. But mostly… scared that I’d pushed you away dahil sa pag amin ko." She paused, her gaze softening. "I just… I just don’t understand why you needed to avoid me instead of talking things out. Gusto lang talaga kitang kausapin, Aiah. But seeing your reaction after that, I thought maybe that it’s a bad idea after all.”

“No!” biglang awat ni Aiah sa sinabi ni Jhoanna. “It’s not wrong to express your feelings, Jho. Mali ko lang talaga kasi iniwasan kita.” She continued, her tears still freely flowed, hot and uncontrolled.

Hindi na alam ni Jhoanna ang gagawin niya. She hates seeing Aiah cries.

“I-I’m s-so sorry, Jho. Hindi ko na uulitin.” Paulit ulit na sinabi ni Aiah. Her emotions thick with pent up feelings that she tried to avoid for weeks. Ngunit ngayon ay bumubuhos na lahat sa isang bagsakan lang.

“Shh, it’s okay, Aiah. Tahan na muna.”

Without a word, Jhoanna leaned in and turned to Aiah, her arms enveloping her in a hug that was both protective and tender. Aiah cried freely into Jhoanna's shoulder, the embrace a silent reassurance, a haven from the emotional turmoil she had been battling for the past two weeks.

It's a torture for the both of them for not talking during those weeks. Hindi lang si Jhoanna ang nag suffer, Aiah suffered from her decisions too. She held back because of her uncertainties, confusion, and anxiety. Na overwhelm siya sa lahat ng iyon that's why it leads her to avoid the girl.

But in Jhoanna's mind, she understood Aiah. Ayaw niya siyang i-rush kaya hinahayaan niya lang din si Aiah na i-process muna lahat bago sila mag usap. She endured that times that she avoid her. Hindi sinasabi ni Aiah, but Jhoanna knew. 

Jhoanna held her close, her touch gentle and comforting, until Aiah's sobs subsided, replaced by shaky breaths and hiccuping gasps. The hug was a silent conversation, a shared understanding that transcended words, a testament to the connection that had been forged in the crucible of their shared vulnerability. Only when Aiah's breathing had evened out when the storm within her had calmed, did Jhoanna gently pull back, her thumb gently wiping away a stray tear from Aiah's cheek.

“Okay na ba ikaw?” Jhoanna whispered, her voice soft and laced with concern.

Aiah sniffed and nodded, “Thanks, Jho.” Her voice was full of emotion as she whispered.

The simple words held a depth of meaning that transcended their literal interpretation. It was a thank you for the hug, for the understanding, for the unspoken reassurance that she hadn't ruined everything. It was a thank you for the validation of her feelings, for the acceptance of her vulnerability.

Jhoanna smiled, a gentle, understanding smile that reached her eyes. "Anytime," she said softly. 

"Okay na bang kausapin ka?" Jhoanna asked and Aiah nods her head.

She paused, her gaze searching Aiah's face. "So… about what I said before… about liking you…"

A blush crept onto Aiah's cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and burgeoning hope. The fear that had paralyzed her for the past weeks seemed to melt away, replaced by a tentative excitement. Ni hindi nga niya alam kung bakit naeexcite pa siya sa oras na ito eh katatapos lang niyang umiyak.

Parang tanga lang, she thought.

“Okay lang sa akin kung wala akong makuhang sagot tungkol doon, Aiah. I confessed without the hope of you feeling the same way too. Hindi ko nag eexpect ng kahit ano mang sagot mo roon, I promise.” Unang sambit ni Jhoanna bago niya tinignan sa mata si Aiah.

“Although… if naaalala mo pa ‘yung sinabi ko sa’yo noon. Iyong time sa gym and sa pagsuway mo sa amin ni Stacey noon?” she paused and gently scratches her nape, feeling shy all of a sudden. “I just want you to enlighten me regarding your actions, miss ma’am. Kasi talagang parang nagulantang ‘yung mundo ko dahil doon. And I don’t want to assume things kaya gusto kong malaman ‘yung sagot galing mismo sa iyo.”

The questions hovered in the air, each one a well-placed stepping stone but also a test, a tool to determine how deeply Aiah felt and whether reciprocation was possible. The peaceful serenity in the car was contrasted with the pounding of Jhoanna’s own heart in her chest.

Two weeks ago, with a mix of courage and fear, she had been clean about her sentiments. The ensuing hush had been excruciating, a time of excruciating uncertainty that fueled her own fears and uncertainties. Was she being too direct? Too combative? Had she frightened Aiah off? The idea tormented her, a nagging murmur of insecurity.

The near- kiss had been a really intimate experience that she had both treasured and pondered. Was it a sincere sign of attraction between them, or was it just the effect of the environment and the heightened feelings of the night? She had been plagued by the ambiguity, which fueled her own fears.

Then came Stacey; her ostensibly harmless flirting in the ramen house had been a test, an unconscious effort to see how Aiah would respond. It had been both frightening and thrilling to witness the outpouring, unbridled expression of jealousy. It had validated the intensity of Aiah's emotions in a manner that words could never.

Pero ayaw niya mag assume, kaya tinatanong niya ulit si Aiah ngayon. Jhoanna feeling a bit nervous, bits her lips, a sign that her anxiety is acting up again. Kinakabahan siya sa anumang maging sagot ni Aiah.

Taking a deep breath, Aiah began to speak, her voice hesitant at first, but gaining strength as she navigated the treacherous landscape of her own emotions.

"’Yung sa gym noon…" she started, her voice barely a whisper. “I… I don’t know how to say it but it felt… right. Like everything clicked into place.”

She bravely looks at Jhoanna who is now looking at her too. With a soft smile, she continues, “And the thing with Stacey and you during our bonding, ewan ko lang din pero bigla lang akong nainis when I saw you being comfortable with her. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit, kasi nasanay naman na ako dati na makita kayong ganoon.”

“Are you jealous?” Jhoanna asked out of nowhere. Pero bigla rin itong nahiya nang makita niya si Aiah na nakatingin lang sa kanya. “S-Sorry, hindi ko dapat tinanong—”

“I maybe am.” Sagot naman ni Aiah na siyang dahilan kung ba’t nanlaki ang mat ani Jhoanna.

Their cheeks heat up in the moment. The confessions are flowing freely gaya lamang ng mga luha kanina ni Aiah. Hindi inaasahan ni Jhoanna ang marahang pagsagot ni Aiah sa tanong niya. It was just a question that slips out of her tongue but she can’t deny that it made her feel giddy. And it felt right that they finally opening up to each other, embracing the uncertainties that’s been bothering them since.

“Nagseselos ka rin pala talaga?” Jhoanna echoes softly, the word tasting sweet on her tongue.

Aiah's intense feelings were demonstrated by the unexpected and unvarnished revelation, which confirmed the connection she had sensed but could not hope for. Her fingertips lightly touched Aiah's as she extended her hand in a quiet sign of comfort and understanding.

“Ang cute mo naman pala magselos.” she admitted, a smile playing on her lips. The words, light and teasing, were a way of easing the tension, of acknowledging the vulnerability they had both shared.

Aiah's eyes widened slightly, a mixture of surprise and embarrassment. “It wasn’t cute, Jhoanna. It’s unpleasant. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ‘yun nangyari.”

“Siguro may pagtingin ka na rin sa’kin.” Jhoanna teased pero agad din niya itong binawi sa dahil baka hindi na naman magiging healthy sa puso niya kapag narinig niya ang posibleng sagot ni Aiah.

“Pero seryoso, ang cute.” Jhoanna chuckled, a soft, melodic sound that filled the quiet space between them. “It's… endearing. It shows that you care. That you… that you feel something."

“Tsk, baka lumaki lang ulo mo sa narinig mo.”

“Hindi ‘yan, pero ang ganda pala sa feeling na nappagselos mo ang crush mo.”

The playful jab was a well-aimed dart, landing squarely in the bullseye of Aiah's still-fluttering emotions. A playful shove to Jhoanna's shoulder, a lighthearted gesture that belied the depth of emotion swirling within her, was her response.

"Oh, yeah? Like you didn’t feel jealous too kapag sweet sa akin si Gelo.” she challenged, a smile playing on her lips, a smile that mirrored the burgeoning joy in her heart.

Jhoanna leaned closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief, the playful banter a welcome distraction from the intensity of their recent confessions. "Well yes. Kasi may gusto ako sa’yo. You, on the other hand, is still confused yet marunong ka na magselos.” she said, her voice a playful whisper, the suggestion a delicious blend of teasing and truth.

A laugh, bright and unrestrained, escaped Aiah's lips – a sound as unexpected and exhilarating as the confession itself. It was a laugh that echoed the relief and joy that flooded her heart, a sound that washed away the residue of fear and insecurity, leaving behind the pure, unadulterated joy of a connection finally acknowledged. A tribute to the strength of their bond, which had been forged in the furnace of mutual vulnerability and was now flowering into something light, happy, and unquestionably real, was the ongoing lighthearted banter, a lovely dance of teasing and adoration. A lightness, a shared closeness that was both thrilling and profoundly reassuring, took the place of the fear and nervousness that had dominated their relationships.

But then Jhoanna's expression softened, a wave of genuine gratitude washing over her features.

"Thank you," she said, her voice sincere, her eyes locking with Aiah's. "For talking to me. Sa pagiging honest. For… for letting me in." She paused, her thumb gently stroking Aiah's hand. "These past weeks have been… difficult. The silence was killing me. I was starting to think I'd messed everything up, that I'd pushed you away for good."

She exuded an authentic warmth, a sincere show of relief and appreciation that struck a deep chord with Aiah. This moment of genuine appreciation was a monument to the depth of their bond, which had survived the storm of misunderstanding and come out stronger, more resilient, and unquestionably more real. The lighthearted banter had been a welcome reprieve.

Aiah laughs, “Ano ba ‘yan! You have a thing talaga on confessing in weird places ‘no? First, sa comfort room. Now, sa car mo naman.”

“What? May pinipili ba kasing place for that? If the moment felt right then strike while the iron is hot ‘no.”

“I know but can you be more romantic for once? Like pick a decent place naman to show your affection. Not just in some random places.”

“Then,” Jhoanna leans in which made Aiah’s breath hitched. “Can I take you out on sunday sa church? I figured that you might want to attend a mass…together.”

Damn, that was smooth.

Aiah's heart skipped a beat, a mixture of surprise, excitement, and a touch of nervousness. The church – it was a far cry from the clandestine near-kiss in the gymnasium, a far cry from the raw emotion of her outburst in the ramen house. It was something… different. It was a public declaration, a step into the light, a declaration of intent that was both thrilling and terrifying.

Her mind raced, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. 

"Are you asking me out on a date, Jhoanna?"

Jhoanna grinned playfully, "Ganun ba ang  dating nun sa'yo?"

"I'm asking you first."

"Then okay." She paused and looks Aiah in the eyes, sparkling with genuine affection. "Go on a date with me", she whispered.

A church date? It was unexpected, unconventional, yet somehow… perfect. It spoke to a level of comfort and shared understanding that she hadn't anticipated, a level of intimacy that was both exhilarating and reassuring. The thought of spending a Sunday afternoon with Jhoanna, surrounded by the festive atmosphere of the church, filled her with a warmth that spread through her like sunshine.

“Good shot, Robles.”  she replied, her voice clear and confident, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “But sure, let’s go to church together.”

The ride home, once a journey through the wreckage of misunderstanding, was now a path toward a future filled with laughter, shared moments, and the promise of a relationship built on mutual understanding, respect, and a deep, undeniable affection.

Aiah glanced at Jhoanna, catching her eye in the rearview mirror. A soft smile played on her lips, a smile that mirrored the one slowly spreading across her face. The tension that had coiled so tightly within them just hours ago had finally unwound, leaving behind a sense of lightness and relief.

Later that night, Aiah sat on her bed, the events of the day replaying in her mind. Her heart fluttered with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Typing a message to Jhoanna felt monumental, a step into uncharted territory. She hesitated, rereading and rewording her message several times before settling on something simple yet heartfelt. The weight of her feelings – the vulnerability, the hope, the fear of another potential setback – pressed down on her. But the relief and the burgeoning joy outweighed the fear. Finally, she hit send.

Aiah:

<Hi Jho! Just want to express my gratitude again. Thank you for the ride, and for the talk>

<I hope wala ka talagang sama ng loob na naipon sa akin, although I understand if meron talaga:'>>

A few minutes later, her phone buzzed with a reply.

Jhoanna:

<Soft hours, Aiah?>

<But, thank you rin. I'm really glad that we talked things out.>

<And ang kulit mo, I already said wala nga akong sama ng loob sa'yo.>

Aiah:

<I know na nasabi mo na 'yan.>

<But I'm not convinced, baka naman nagkukunwari ka lang diyan.>

Jhoanna:

<Hindi nga kasi>

<Just>

<How many times do I have to tell you na masyado nga kitang gusto, and the possibility of hating you is beneath me?>

Aiah giggled, her cheeks flushed. The text exchange was far from formal, but it felt perfect. 

Aiah:

<Bolera ka talaga ✧⁠\⁠(⁠>⁠o⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧>

<You're not always this direct naman noon ah. Naninibago ako.>

<Where is the Jhoanna I know na super shy pagdating sa mga ganito?>

Hindi agad nagreply si Jhoanna and Aiah just stares at her phone, intently looking at the three dots that appears in her screen, indicating that Jhoanna is typing a reply. She bites her lower lip while waiting at binasa niya ulit ang last chat niya. What could she be typing at bakit ang tagal? Is she writing a long message? 

She was about to put down her phone for a bit when a reply finally popped out. 

Jhoanna:

<Arceta effect, I like to call it.>

<It drives me to do things that's completely out of my character but in a good way. It surprised me, yes, but it felt so natural.>

<It felt so right to be captivated by you.>