Chapter 25
Chapter 52
"I don't think this is a good idea," Skull couldn't help but mumble softly, purple eyes darting every which direction as though expecting something to jump out of the shadows and attack the two Cured Arcobaleno at a moments notice.
"Nonsense," Verde mumbled softly- his own eyes scanning the area around them- even as he kept a firm grip on the Cured Cloud's upper arm- What? It's not like he was worried about the other... He just didn't' want cowardly Skull running off on him, honest!- as he continued to half drag half lead the other further down the darker hallway, "Everything is going according to plan."
Kind of...
They were inside Vendicare but...
Well, they might have gotten a bit lost...
Though Verde was certain with enough time and effort he could guide them out of the endless abyss of darkness and ankle deep icy water.
How hard could it be?
If asked he exactly how he managed to come to this literally prison Orochimaru would forever place the blame of a temporary lapse of sanity.
For that alone and that alone was the only reason The Snake Sanin could think of as to why he agreed to accompany the baby- who did not terrify him in the least. Nope, not him. He was a Sanin, The Snake Sage, A man even Kages in all their might and power were cautious of. What did he have to fear from a creepy baby with a deep ominous voice and far too many bandages that just appeared before him one day, molding out from the shadows like some sort of unholy demon crawling out of the depths of Hell- with the dark whispers of revenge and safety for the children he took in on its lips.
Honestly, while vengeance was tempting- especially against that bastard Danzo who had used him then set him up to fall- it had been the silky promises for those children he held that sold him though he would confess the promises of test subjects in the form of prisoners on Death Row- the thought that he wouldn't have to use those children who placed their trust in him as lab rats- also helped sweeten the pot.
What? Even if he held a fondness for children- orphans with no home, no family, nothing but death and despair within their futures yet still managed to cling onto that small grain of hope with the fierceness of a Bijuu- he was still a scientist and had another choice not all but presented itself on a golden platter, Orochimaru could not honestly say he wouldn't have betrayed that fragile trust.
"So," The Uchiha Heir deadpanned after a moment of listening to the Snake Sanin's reasoning, "You were Emotionally Blackmailed."
For a moment the pale face man seemed to slump into himself before attempting to gather his wits once more, "No. I just found a convent comprise-"
"You were manipulated by a Miniature Shinigami."
"No-"
"Bermuda already took the children before he presented this offer to you, didn't he?"
"Yes, but-"
"And if you didn't agree you would never see the children again."
"We don't know that-"
"Its Bermuda," Itachi spoke as though it was the most obvious thing in the world that the Snake Sanin must be blind not to see, "You wouldn't have seen them again."
And even if Orochimaru did, there was a high chance Bermuda would have already brainwashed the poor innocent souls like the toddlerized Demon did his poor precious Otouto, sweet naïve Amara-Chan and all those other poor children the creepy infant always seemed to drag back- some quite literally kicking and screaming the whole way- every time he went outside alone.
Apparently, it was too much to ask for one day- just twenty-four hours. Hell he would take twelve minutes if the other could manage it- without having to worry about kidnapped children, Bermuda-san, Missing Kages, a paranoid War Hawk, Bermuda, Missing Nin, Clan Elders, His Precious Brother wanting to be a Vindice over a Shinobi, Bermuda, Manhunts, possible Jinckuriki, Iwa blaming them for their missing mountains or any form of chaos of the sort, and did he mention Bermuda?
All he wanted was One Normal Day- Just one where the most he would have to worry about is attempted assassinations, a Council that couldn't leave well enough alone, an unholy hoard of Fan Girls/Boys that might as well have climbed out of the darkest depths of hell and whether or not he left his kunai within Sasuke's reach- instead of how many silver hairs he suddenly gained within the span of an hour while constantly wondering if today was the day his fragile sanity would finally shatter beneath the weight of Bermuda's madness.
So why was it he couldn't even manage that? Had he done something to offend Kami without his knowing?
"Here," Itachi couldn't help but blink as a voice belonging to the Snake Sanin- Oh right, hadn't he just been trying to draw the man out of his delusional sense of control and acceptance?- draws him from his thoughts only to find himself staring at a full bottle of sake, "You look like you could use this."
For a moment, soulless black eyes just stare at the bottle. He really shouldn't-
"The Infantile Shinigami wants to see you-"
Without a moment's hesitation, Itachi snatched the battle from the Snake Sage's hand and threw it back as though it was water -all the while ignoring the subtle burn in the back of his throat- before slamming the empty bottle onto the countertop, "Another."
Someone- anyone. Hell, he would even take Checkerface right about now- please kill him.
Crimson eyes nervously darted around the room- glancing towards the shadows as though waiting for the Devil himself to walk out at any moment- as Jack permitted his gaze to focus on anything but the curious six years old staring up at him with Bermuda's eyes.
"Uncle Jack?"
"I... You...Its...," The rouge Vindice stumbled over his words, desperately trying to figure out what to say- how to answer a question he didn't even want to think about- in a way that wouldn't call down the both Jager and Bermuda's wrath on him.
Oh, Gods why does this always happen to him?
"Yes?"
Wide innocent eyes stare up at him- and Oh Gods, he can't do this- causing the rouge to gulp softly before spinning on heel in an attempt to rapidly flee the room, "Ask an adult!"
"But Uncle," Large Inhuman eyes blinked up innocently at the rouge Vindice, "You are an adult."
"Ask a proper adult!"
There was no way in hell he would be the one explain the Birds and the Bees to a six-year-old though when he got his hands on the bastard who let such a word as 'sex' slip around the child...
Within the lower levels of Vendicare, Sawada Iemitsu sneezed before allowing a large smile to split his face.
Ah, his beautiful Nana- the light of his life, the fire of his soul- must be thinking about him again.
"Jager-san?"
"Yes, Tsunayoshi?
"Why did you give me a matchbox?"
Vongola's Decimo speaks slowly- hesitantly- as though he's not quite sure he wants to ask but at the same time fount he had to as orange tinted eyes stared cautiously at the small, old-fashioned brass tinderbox -Did people still make things like this?... And exactly how old was Jager-san again that he owned such a relic?- with some sort of crest in the center that the Vindice had set upon his desk.
"I believed you would like the remains of your Father if only for your Mother's sake."
Well, that and maybe- just maybe- now Vongola's Decimo would stop trying to bring his Mother onto the grounds of Vendicare. Otherwise, Jager would have just thrown the Elder Sawada's remains into the nearest cesspool.
"HEEEII?!"
His Father?! Wide brown eyes darted from the bandaged jailor onto the brass box and then back again in mild panic. That was a joke, right? Sure, not even he liked his 'always missing, Famiglia before Family, deadbeat Father' but that didn't mean he wanted the man dead if only for the fact the blonde's death would break his Mother's heart.
"T-that's a joke... Right Jager?"
It was probably just a sense of their twisted humor. After all, surely no one- not even his father- was stupid enough to anger the Vindice to a point his only remains would fit inside a matchbox... Right?
The silence was his only answer as the Vindice's Strongest Warrior was already retreating through a wormhole of Night Flames.
"Jager!," The brunette called after the man- full-blown panic in both his eyes and voice- as he swiftly scrambled to his feet, but it was too late as the other- and the portal of Night Flames- vanished; leaving a wide-eyed Vongola Decimo standing alone in his office.
Slowly tinted eyes moved from where the Vindice Second in Command had been and onto the boxing match that was now looking far too innocent despite the sinister air surrounding it.
"Papa," Teddy's soft voice carried throughout Jager's room as the small child clutched his Father's shard of the Night Mirror, "What's sex?"
Jager couldn't help but feel a sense of sadist pleasure as he observed the image of His Lord pale slightly- the teen's inhuman eyes darting rapidly towards something they could not see as though desperately searching for an escape route that obviously wasn't there- before straightening in his throne-like seat, "Teddy, Beloved Child of Mine, where exactly did you hear that word from?"
Their precious little one just blinked in innocent confusion as he tilted his head ever so slightly- in a gesture Jager distinctly recognized as one of His Lord's ways of informing someone he was listening- before smiling, "I was playing tag with Uncle Gia and there was this blond haired guy, with a really annoying laugh; in a cell talking about everything he missed about his wife to the guy across from him. "
"Jager-"
"It has already been done, My Lord. The remains were dropped off this morning."
"...So what's sex, Papa? I want to know but no one will tell me."
Their precious child pouted slightly at the thought of his Aunties and Uncles always seeming to have something else they suddenly had to do- some of which were things Teddy was certain they would never normally do- the moment he asked.
On some level, Jager knew he should probably distract their child and save His Lord from the younger's obvious discomfort -His Lord's eyes were all but pleading for him to intervene- but on the other hand; a part of Jager rather enjoyed being watching the younger panic and being the center of that pleading look.
Either way, Bermuda was already missing a great deal of their child's life to Vongola- Alternative Dimension or not, His Lord still needed to contribute to their son's life- and if this was how to drag His Lord back into Teddy's life...
So be it.
Sometimes, if Bermuda is honest, he forgets how much of a Sadist his Angel can be...
Then reality always seems to show up only to slap him in the face with a flailing fish- sometimes quite literally depending on the golden-eyed Vindice's current sense of humor- like a bad sitcom.
"Jack?"
"Yes, Bermuda?"
"Exactly how did you get here?"
The Night Arcobaleno couldn't help but a question as he tilted his bandaged head slightly- his inhuman eyes drinking in the rather battered form of his Rouge Guardian- as the redhead shifted slightly in place.
"Hibari."
"Hibari..."
Bermuda repeats slowly but for some reason, the Vendicare Warden doesn't feel as surprised as he probably should be- Hibari had always been rather intelligent to the point Bermuda speculated that the Cloud had somehow inherited the sole brain of the Tenth Generation.
"Remind me to send him a gift basket."
At least, the Cloud had the foresight to send him someone useful, Unlike his own Vindice. The most use Bermuda got out of Byakuran-kun was a distraction for the children and his own personal delivery man for his Cakes.
"Bermuda."
"Yes, Jack?"
The soft scratching of a quill and the soft snarls of parchment- Gods, he was already missing the normal paperwork that didn't attempt to have him for an afternoon snack- as the toddlerized Vindice continued on with the Hellish Totur- err... Paperwork.
"Can I keep him?"
The Night Arcobaleno glanced up from his paperwork only to the find the rouge directly in front of his desk holding a small redhead child with teal colored eyes as though he was a stray puppy picked up from the side of the street. Not again. Sighing softly, Bermuda 'gently' set down his quill- using the tip to pin the struggling paperwork onto his desk least it attempts to crawl away again- before granting the rouge his full attention.
"Jack,"Bermuda speaks gently tilting his head so he could 'meet' the other's 'eyes', "You do realize that is a living, breathing child; Correct?"
"I do."
"And as a living breathing child, it requires constant, mandatory care?"
"Yes."
"You'll have to provide it with food, clothing, shelter, education, attention and outside care-"
"Obviously."
"Which you couldn't even provide a goldfish."
"Y- Hey! That was an honest mistake!"
"You owned it for no more than five minutes, Jack."
Jack had only spent five minutes alone with the creature in a bowl and The Vindice had somehow ended up with: a dead fish who didn't know how to stay dead... or a goldfish for that matter, a quarter of Vendicare completely leveled into a blazing inferno, a panicking rouge- who kept insisting he had everything 'under control'- and a smug Jager.
God only knows what would happen if Bermuda actually permitted the rouge to attempt his hand at caring for an actually- living, breathing, flesh and blood- child.
"Come on Bermuda," Jack whined softy-the corner of his bandages tilting slightly at the reassuring smile the rouge knew none could see- as he tightened his grip slightly, "What's the worse that can happen? I forget something and the brat goes whining to the Snake Freak you fount?"
Slowly Bermuda glanced around from the rampaging twenty foot, sandy-brown colored tanuki- with black markings all over its face, body, and tale- instead of focusing upon the rouge openly gapping across from him.
"I swear," Noticing his Leader's 'stare' was focused his way, Jack slowly raised his hands in mock surrender, "I didn't do it."
How was he supposed to know the moment the redhead dozed off that raccoon- a dog hybrid maybe- would suddenly replace the younger?
After all, It's not like the brat had a warning label or anything of the sort on him!
"So let me see if I get this straight," Jack spoke as he stared down the cowering redhead wearing his cloak, "You turn into a raging, bloodthirsty monster at least once a month?'
Slowly Gaara allowed himself to grant the older rouge a small smile while shrieking in on himself. Any moment now the other would scream, curse or attempt to kill him like all the others before telling Bermuda-Nii what an abomination he actually was- in his mind, the teal eyed child could already see himself being abandoned once more without a thought or care.
After all, no one ever stayed once they realized the truth.
"So... You're actually a woman?"
In Jack's mind, it made sense.
The brat was kind of small and petite; so the rouge supposed he could really be a she. Then there was the fact, every woman he knew -mostly the Female members of the Vindice- turned into a 'raging, bloodthirsty monster' at least once every month. Sure, the Brat had taken it a bit more literally then Jack would have thought possible but for all he knew, the woman was doing the same things behind closed doors.
Jack could only blink in confusion when he suddenly finds himself sprawled on his back with a sobering child clinging to the front of his shirt.
Great, what did he do wrong now?
"Can I keep them?"
For a moment, all Jager could do was stare blankly at the two 'Cured' His Little One had dragged before him while barely resisting the urge to just strange the two as a form of stress relief- Was there some secret club he didn't know about? Some sort of Rite of Passage? A new form of suicide within the Mafia? Or was Alejandro's past stupidly just that contagious?- but manages to refrain himself, if only for His Child's sake.
He was meant to be setting a proper example- apparently the Vindice's usually ways of dealing with an unwanted guest- CoughTotureCoughMurderCough- wasn't a proper example on a young expressional child. Who knew?- to help Teddy shape his future. Then again... Maybe if he just maimed the two...
"Daddy~ Please?~ I pwomise I'll take Cawe of them."
"No."
"But-"
"Teddy, No. They're not pets."
And to be honest, one 'Cured' Arcobaleno Hitman and his Pet Decimo constantly invading their home was more than enough for Jager- he only tolerated such disrespect for Bermuda but outright refused to grant an open invitation towards the others.
"But they'we mine!"
The child flails his arms around- as though it would somehow make a difference- but Jager pays it no mind, instead, he's completely focused on the sense of Harmony that fills the room at the child's exclamation and the two rapidly paling 'Cured' Arcobaleno.
Golden eyes flash dangerously as a furious snarl slips past his lips and his Flames scream for blood, death and the utter eradication of those Leeches which had latched onto His Child's Flames, "You Dare?!"
How dare they permit their filthy Flames anywhere near Their Child?!
Distantly, Jager was aware of his desk snapping in half due to the firm grip he had on it but paid it no mind as Night Flames roared- flooding the room with the silent promise of a slow agonizing death for the unfortunate souls that drew its ire- before Teddy's voice broke the silence.
"WUN!"
Neither of the 'Cured' Arcobaleno needed to be told twice as they rapidly fled the Strongest Vindice's Warrior's Office- Teddy, on the other hand, flung himself across the ruined desk in favor of clinging to the golden eyes man's waist in a vain attempt to stop the elder- as though the Devil himself was lurking inside it. They barely managed to round the corner before the whole of Vendicare exploded into an unholy inferno of Night Flames.
Hidden within the rafters Reborn carefully set down his camera before crackling like a madman- a large Slasher Grin splitting his face into two- as he watched The Cured Lighting and Cloud Arcobaleno attempt to flee from a horde of furious Vindice out for their blood.
"Chaos."
In Another Word, Bermuda suddenly stilled as a sense of rage flooded the weakened Bonds he held to His Vindice and Guardians as the sudden urge to torture and Murder Verde-kun and Skull-kun filled his head.
"Bermuda-Chan, is something wrong?"
Byakuran asks, raising a brow in wonder at what could cause the man before him to sudden freeze right before taking a bite of cake.
"Vongola."
After all, everyone knew the Cured Arcobaleno belonged to Tsunayoshi-kun and therefore whatever they had done- something to do with Teddy if the violent mixture of feelings he was getting from Jager was anything to go on- feel on the Decimo's head alongside the culprits.
Chapter 53
If asked Bermuda would confess, Jager was usually the calmer of the two of them.
Sure, Bermuda's temper had a long fuse but once it burned swiftly and left nothing but death, pain, and destruction once the fuse was gone.
Jager, on the other hand, had a short fuse that was near impossible to burn- unless you were Jack or Vongola. In which case you were pretty much screwed - but once it did burn out...
Well, God helps you because Bermuda sure as hell wouldn't.
So when he had glanced through his mirror shard to find a rampaging Jager storming down the halls of Vendicare while Teddy futile clinging to the taller man's waist, Bermuda had blinked slowly then carefully closed the connection before the golden-eyed man noticed he was watching.
What?
The Night Arcobaleno had no intention of learning wither or not he was capable of dying again- even if he was in another world, one could never be too careful with Jager's... Capabilities- thank you very much.
"Calm down, Skul-"
"Calm down?! Calm down?!" The Cured Cloud Arcobaleno all but shrieked as he stared at the green haired lightning, "How can I calm down when we're going to be brutally murdered by a psychotic Papa Vindice on a rampage?!"
"Because," The Cured Lightning spoke blandly as his emerald eyes narrowed, "He can't murder us if he can't find us. Right now he obviously can't find us or we would already be ashes in the wind, though If you keep screaming you'll lead the 'Psychotic Papa Vindice' right to us."
The Scientist explains patiently watching as Skull's jaw clicks shut with a considering gleam to his purple eyes as though this was the first time such a thought had crossed the Stuntman's mind- if that so, Verde had his work cut out for him. While he was willing to help the Purplette with his Suicidal tendencies he utterly refused to share Guardianship of His Sky with an idiot- before the other forced himself to talk a calming breath.
Good. Panicking wasn't going to help anyone here, not within this Hell on Earth with what might as well be the Devil, himself, after their blood.
Seeing as the Stuntman was slowly calming down- and they were less likely to suffer a horrible death due to the other's screaming- Verde permitted himself to take a breather while contemplating how the hell they were going to get out of this mess with their lives- hopefully with all their limbs attached as well. While the Scientist could make new ones he was rather fond of his original- as the Greenette doubted their dignity would survive this ungodly encounter.
Thankfully dignity was something he and the Cloud could life without- all he needed was Science and Well, to be honest, Verde doesn't believe Skull has ever had a form of Dignity before seeing how the Inverted Cloud always acted- unlike their fellow 'Cured Arcobaleno'.
Now all they needed was a plan. Emerald green eyes darted across the darkened room- bandages, fabrics, boxes, weaponry, cloaks... Where they in a storage closet?- taking in everything for the first before an idea sparks, "Skull, how good are you at Cosplay?"
"They don't actually expect us to fall for that... Do they?"
Neville couldn't help but voice his disbelief to Alejandro as the doll maker leaned against the railing beside him, both Vindice only having eyes for the rather messily dressed 'Vindice' walking- if it could even be called that seeing how they keep stumbling every which direction while running into the walls...Huh, maybe they could have made the green haired one the 'feet' as the purplette didn't seem capable of walking- down the corridor beneath them.
No matter what Bermuda said, he was not 'pouting'.
Instead, Jack found himself contemplating his options- not pouting, men did not pout- how could he not?
There was a small child- which reminded him a lot of an adorable, blood thirsty panda- staring up at him with those wide teal eyes and a small hopeful smile gracing his face as the little one gently tugged on one of his chains," Jack, Play with me."
Exactly how did Bermuda expect him to 'distant' himself from that?
Jack meant well, Bermuda would acknowledge that, but sometimes the Former Storm just didn't think things through.
The rouge was the sort of person who thought of the Here and Now while all but screaming for the Future to go screw itself and while Bermuda usually approved of this attitude- it was better than constantly sulking in enteral depression- right now he couldn't help but curse the rouge for it.
How could he not?
The man was all but setting himself and little Gaara up and now Amara was constantly harassing him to pay the blonde more attention- 'Gaara this... Jack that...'- before spending hours sulking when Bermuda couldn't.
Then, as if one sulking child wasn't enough, The Night Arcobaleno found himself having to deal with two.
After a slight argument, Teddy was refusing to talk to him because he had sided with Jager concerning the matter of his so-called 'Guardians'.
Despite what his son seemed to think, Bermuda didn't care the youngers Lightning and Cloud were Cured Arcobaleno- His son was safer seeing as he knows had two of the world's strongest in his pocket though this was going to be awkward concerning Skull... He had never apologized for punching a hole through the other's brain- but what he did care about was the fact those bastards had the nerve to just Bond with his son without so much as a 'by your leave'.
It was like having his adolescent son show up one holding a baby and informing him 'Congratulations, You're a Grandfather'.
What type of person does that?
Oh wait, he did. Bermuda groaned softly in misery as he resisted the urge to slam his head through the nearest wall. Of all the habits for his Little One to 'inherit' from him...
"Bermuda," Jager's voice admitted from the mirror shard clutched slightly in the Night Arcobaleno's bandaged hands, "Stop slamming your head into your desk before you break it."
What? He said the wall, not his desk.
"Why couldn't he take more after you in personality as well as looks?"
"Funny," The golden-eyed man's reflection leaned forward slightly as though he about to share some unspeakable secret, "I asked myself that same thing, then I realized this was Karma coming back to bite you and dragging the rest of us along."
No matter what Jager would later claim; he was not pouting- A Vindice does not pout. Children pout, toddlers pout, men and women alike may pout, but a Vindice does not pout. They sulk- as he granted the older man a pointed look, "I never made you fight a Two-Front War against children."
"Two-Front..." Jager began only for a scowl to twist onto his handsome face, "Jack."
He wonders what give it away...
Oh, wait, its Jack.
Six times out of Ten every time something went wrong, the rouge haired Vindice was somehow at fault. Well, that and the fact, Jager always seemed to be of the belief Jack and Vongola -the second of which Bermuda fully agreed with- was the source of all the world's dilemmas.
Allowing a heavy sigh to slip past his lips, Bermuda ran a delicate hand through his hair- brushing the fallen strands of ebony locks from his face- while granting the golden-eyed man a sullen look, "Jack is being a better father then I am."
It was something so obvious anyone with eyes could see it and while Bermuda wanted to be good father he just... couldn't invest any more of himself into Amara than what he already had. He wouldn't be the one to break Amara. Not like that.
"Of course he is," A soft sigh left the reflection in the mirror shard, "That Idiot just has to overcomplicate everything."
"Of course," Bermuda allowed a small smirk to twist onto his lips as a hint of humor gleamed within soulless eyes, "It's his 'Special Ability' after all."
"Itachi-Kun?"
"Hai, Bermuda?"
"Are you drunk?"
"Me?" The Uchiha Heir couldn't help but blink in insulted confusion at the mini Shinigami in disguise," No, I would never drink in front of Sasuke."
As though to prove his words, the Uchiha heir tenderly held up his precious package which he had taken to carrying everywhere so to shelter its remaining innocence from the Mini- Shinigami's horrible influence.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, I'm sure," Dark eyes darted towards the bandaged infant a hint of insult flashing across his expression, "What makes you think otherwise?"
Raising a brow, Bermuda's dark eyes stared blankly at the half-naked Uchiha holding an actual duckling- which he had mistaken for his younger brother...Must have been the hair- to his chest as those it was the most valuable thing in the world.
"Call it a hunch." The Vendicare Warden deadpanned as for some reason he was finding it rather difficult to actually believe the younger.
….Must be the lack of a shirt.
He wasn't good at dealing with emotional children, Bermuda would acknowledge that as everything he said or did seem to backfire in one majestic way or another. What could he say though? He was used to dealing with grown men and woman who usually dealt with their own problems- be in through words or dismemberment... Usually the later- and carried out their duties without needing his constant approval...
Apparently, children didn't work that way- who would have thought- for if you didn't grant them constant verbal approval they tended to create these 'Fantasies' and became sobering messes as they threw out wild acquisitions.
Wild acquisitions Bermuda apparently wasn't qualified to deal with seeing as you're not supposed to tell a child 'If I didn't care for you I would have left you where I found you'.
This, this right here, was why he needed Jager. Jager would know what to do, what to say. He wouldn't just watch as the blond-haired child rushed from the office in tears leaving Bermuda alone with both his guilt and a marshmallow obsessed maniac.
"There, there Bermuda. I'm sure you didn't mean to complete insult the child's very existence," Byakuran smiled as slender fingers pinched another marshmallow from the bag, "Though it seems to be a talent of yours."
Smash!
Bermuda snarled as the white-haired Gesso Heir ducked beneath the glass vase- causing it to shatter against the far wall- before ducking outside the Night Arcobaleno's Study.
Bermuda would confess, there were some things he didn't understand despite all his years of existing;
Women, for example, where one of these things.
Jager's tendency of sneaking into his room to watch him sleep was another and probably the most important one of all- for this point of time at least- was apologizing. Bermuda sucked at apologizing- there, he admitted it- as for some reason everything he attempted to say would come out wrong and make things even worse than what they already were-
What could he say? It was a 'talent'.
-So usually he would send Jager to deal with the problem-the golden-eyed man had a talent of fixing Bermuda's accidental disasters and not just the ones that almost wiped out Humanity-Only... He couldn't send Jager as was currently in another world he couldn't access. Well.. Not without ripping a hole in the fabrics of the Universe at least. The backlash of which could cause the utter destruction of either or both of the two worlds on the consisting sides of the portal.
Matter of fact, besides talking to a reflection- that was currently in the midst of running Vendicare and therefore should not be disturbed for such a piety issues- Bermuda couldn't do anything with Jager. Which was probably why he didn't see an issue with sending Jack to help ease the problem...
Okay, it wasn't his best idea- he was stressed, overworked, sleep deprived and utterly Jagerless- but apparently, even Jack was better with children than he was so at the time the idea seemed credible. So in all honesty, it really shouldn't have surprised Bermuda to hear the echoes of Jack's voice carrying up the stairwell with his 'infinite wisdom' as he was making his way down.
"And if he doesn't?" Amara's soft voice questioned causing Bermuda to open a wormhole of Night Flames instead of continuing down the stairwell.
"Then you're down an arm, Brat."
The redhead's chain would never actually rend the toddler of his limbs as only moments before it could a wormhole of Night Flames opened beneath the blonde's feet. For a moment, Jack just allowed himself to stare blankly at the empty spot his victi... err.. Nephew had once been standing before the corners of his bandages shifted slightly; hiding the smug grin beneath.
Perfect, now all Bermuda had to do was comfort the brat-something His Sky was rather skilled in- then all of Amara's questions and doubts would disappear like the early morning dew.
Ah, life was good when you held all the cards and knew exactly how to play them.
Now if only he could figure out what cards played best against Jager...
"That's simple," Amara offered Sasuke smile as he leaned in closer as though to share a forbidden secret, "Everyone knows the food of the Gods is Ramen/Cake."
Wait... What?!
The blonde almost granted himself whiplash with how swiftly his head snapped to the side only to find himself staring into Bermuda-Nii's bandaged face with an expression of horrified disbelief, "Heathen! Everyone knows the food of the Gods is Ramen!"
"I'm afraid you're incorrect, Amara," The Night Arcobaleno couldn't help but shake his bandaged head in mild disappointment, "The correct answer is Cake."
"Ramen!
"Cake."
"Ram-"
"Marshmallows!"
As one-two heads snapped to the white-haired intruder, who found himself feeling rather fortunate looks couldn't kill, "STAY OUT OF THIS!"
If one was to ask the Vindice as a whole, they would probably tell you there was nothing more dangerous than a bored Bermuda von Veckenschtein. There was a reason the Night Arcobaleno was constantly kept busy wither it be behind a mountain of paperwork or arresting the scum of that Mafia and that reason was-
BOOM!
Gritting his teeth the rouge haired Vindice grabbed leaned against the wall- tightening his grip slightly upon his brats shoulder so little Gaara wouldn't take a tumble down the nearby stairway- as what appeared to be a giant octopus/ox creature that was once a man- who's so-called rapping might as well be a crime itself- was thrown against the outer Gates of Vendicare 2.0 by a toddlerized form causing a minor earthquake.
It didn't stay down for long though, Jack could feel his grin grow beneath his bandages as he watched the massive creature begin to lift itself once more as tentacles- Damn it, this was Comedy Gold material all in itself being dropped in his lap and wouldn't you know it? Jack had no one but innocent ears, who wouldn't understand even if he tried to explain, to speak them to- vainly attempts to swat the small black from out of the sky.
-there was nothing more dangerous to this world- or any for that matter- than a bored Bermuda without Jager at the Night Arcobaleno's side.
~X~
"What do you mean you lost him?!"
Though he knew he probably shouldn't and it would infuriate the man the reflection in his mirror belonged to, Jack couldn't help but smile, "Calm yourself, Jager, I didn't lose Bermuda. I just don't know where he's currently at."
"Jack, I hate to burst your bubble but that's the basic definition of losing someone-"
"But I know where he's been," the redhead interrupted- pretending not to hear the other speak. After all, he was in another world entirely so why should he have to worry about the golden-eyed Vindice's retribution?- as he grabbed a stack of papers from the unholy mass beginning to consume his office's desk, "Let's see... According to this, he was spotted in Suna about four hours ago and somehow, within the span of five minutes, managed to flood the whole country."
"Suna?"
"It's a desert county full of idiots. Nothing really important," The redhead dismissed the slight worry he could hear clinging to the other's voice- After all, why should they care about a country full of idiot holding the same level of intelligence as Vongola Decimo's Lightening Guardian?- as he continued to gleam over the reports, "From there he went to Konoha. Managed to start a massive Forest Fire at the border and literally stole what they call 'The Forest of Death' and 'The Forbidden Scroll' out from under their noses during their panic."
Sighing heavily- a hint of reassignment clinging to his form- Jager leaned back into his office's chair while making a 'Go on' gesture.
"From there he turned to Kiri and pretty much turned every mass of water within the country into either chocolate or vanilla pudding, then made his way to Ame where encountered his pedophile stalker-"
"WHAT?!"
"Some guy in a mask named Toby," Jack waved his hand dismissively, "and his stalkers friends who were all named Pain...-How the hell do six separate parents name their children: Pain? -which somehow led to the leveling of half of Country while setting the other half into black flames. After that, he made his way to Iwa where he arrested this old lecher called 'Jiraiya' for peeping into the Woman's Hot Spring but instead of bringing the lecher here Bermuda dropped the old man off within The Kage's office... Strangely enough, that was the only thing he really did there."
Huh, a part of the redhead couldn't help but feel disappointed. After all this chaos their Sky was trailing across the nations he just gave the Iwa Don an old lecher and left? Where was the fun in that?
"After that, he was spotted in Kumo kidnapping... "
"Kidnapping..." the golden-eyed Vindice's reflection trailed off, expecting the other to continue onwards with his verbal report.
"A giant flaming cat by managing to get it High on a literal mountain of catnip. According to this, they're still trying to unbury the Country's Kage office."
Though none would notice it beneath his bandages, Jager could feel his eye twitching. A giant flaming cat...Where the hell did Bermuda even find such a creature?
"He's not keeping it."
Jager had enough issues with Jack's accidental creations, he didn't need to add giant flaming extraterrestrial cats to the list; knowing Bermuda's luck the thing- more likely than not- burn down Vendicare while they were all too preoccupied to notice. Jack just hummed a soft response.
"After that he was spotted releasing mutated rabbits of the Land of Vegetables, spray-painting all the trees in the Land of Iron so they would have a metallic tint, sinking some island off the coast of the Land of Sea where he managed to recruit some type of mermaid named Isaribi, purchased some ruins for some place called Uzushiogakure where he's currently having it rebuilt into some type of Empire for Amara on the insistence of a ghost named Kushina Uzumaki. "
"Please tell me he has not started another World War."
"Not yet," Jack couldn't hide the hint of disappointment clinging to his voice. God, what he wouldn't give for another World War like the last one Bermuda accidentally started which ended in the destruction of Olympus and the dethroning of the 'Gods'... What could he say? They- the Vindice as a whole- had issues with so-called Gods, "but there's still plenty of time left to do so."
"And what's this about Ghost?"
"A couple, that used to be Amara's parents, have been clinging to Bermuda for a while. Somehow they convinced him to write out these scrolls that apparently apart of Amara's heritage. Honestly, I don't understand half of what that shit says but the 'Flying Thunder God Technique' that belonged to the Brat's Girly Father sounds rather interesting."
Though not nearly as interesting as the Mother's 'Chakra Chains' which sounded remarkably similar to their own. To think, once upon a time, there had been thousands of people- all of which had been redheads and possibly Storms had Flames existed in this world- that had been capable of using techniques similar to the Vindice's own though it was a shame Jack would never meet them. He had a strange feeling he and this 'Uzumaki Clan' would have gotten along like 'a house on fire'.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the mirror, Jager couldn't help but feel as though he had just barely managed to avoid a never-ending headache which likely would have involved an oncoming Apocalypse for both worlds.
On the other side of the world, Bermuda von Veckenschtein glared upon the so-called 'God Tree'.
According to Legend had been the source of all Chakra- something or another about a fruit of some sort that only bloomed once every thousand years- while leaning against a steel axe he had 'borrowed' back in the Land of Iron.
In all honesty, he had originally tracked down the source of the Legend to chop down the 'Holy Tree' only now...
"Why the Hell is there a person inside this thing?!"
And not just any person, a person with Flames- it was rather remarkable considering how Flames didn't seem to exist in this world- that felt remarkably similar to that Checkerface himself. Had he not been capable of telling there was a woman inside the tree, Bermuda would have chopped it down out of spite; but now...
"God Damn it."
He was going to have to rethink that plan, wasn't he?