Detention

“So, you two think that it’s funny to mess everything up while I’m not around?” Filch said, sneering at both Jimin and Taehyung seated in front of his desk. “You two thought that you wouldn’t get in trouble for it, did you?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Taehyung piped up.

“Shut it!” Filch snapped. “Now, it seems I can’t trust you two in the room with others so you’ll be staying here for the rest of the detention period. Doing nothing.”

“That doesn’t sound so—” Taehyung spoke up before being elbowed by Jimin. “I-I mean, no way! It’s going to be so boring!”

“Yeah! Please put us back there with the others!” Jimin whined.

“Not a chance!” Filch grinned. “For you two, I guess doing nothing is punishment in itself. So, you two are going to stay here until your friends are finished packing up, which should take at least eight more hours, while I keep watch. No talking. No moving. No fighting. And no loud noises. Got it?”

“Yes Filch,” Jimin and Taehyung chorused.

“It’s Mr. Filch!” Filch snapped.

“Yes Mr. Filch!” Jimin and Taehyung repeated.

BOOM

Jimin jumped in his seat at the loud noise outside. Filch frowned and hurried over to the door. ‘Could it be the others?’ Jimin wondered. It was about time for their hyungs and Jungkook to act out the next part of the plan anyway. Jimin watched carefully as Filch opened the door of his office just as The Worst Smell Jimin’s Ever Smelled wafted in.

“It’s a stinkbomb!” Taehyung whined and wrinkled his nose.

“Seems like more students want to get in trouble today,” Filch growled. “You two stay here!” he pointed at Taehyung and Jimin before slamming the door behind him and locking it shut.

“That must be our hyungs,” Jimin said. Taehyung nodded and sat up. “We need to find the wands quickly!”

“It should be in his desk or something…” Taehyung said and they both began frantically searching Filch’s desk drawers. “Hey!”

“What? Did you find the wands?” Jimin asked.

“No, but I found our collection of Dung Bombs that Filch confiscated,” Taehyung grinned and held them up. “I’ll bring these with us just in case,” he added and stuffed them into his pocket. Jimin shook his head and laughed as he continued searching. He opened one of the drawers near the floor and searched through more confiscated items, one of which was a Fanged Frisbee which he decided to keep as well. As he neared the bottom of the drawer, Jimin found seven wands that could only have belonged to him and his friends.

“Found it!” he cheered, holding the seven of them up.

“Alright!” Taehyung cheered alongside him and grabbed his wand. Jimin took his as well and pocketed the rest in his cloak.

“We should go now to reach them in time,” Jimin said. Taehyung nodded and the two of them walked to the door.

“Ahh, he locked it from the outside,” Taehyung said as he jiggled the doorknob.

“Hold on,” Jimin pulled out his wand and waved it in front of the lock. “Alohomora!” The lock clicked and Taehyung swung the door open. Outside, Jimin could smell The Worst Smell Ever in full blast. Apart from that, there seemed to be some orange-colored smoke wafting about. Students were running around with their noses covered and Jimin could hear Filch yelling angrily in the distance as well.

“Namjoon-hyung sure is merciless,” Taehyung said with his nose covered as well.

“Alright, let’s get to the stairs,” Jimin said. The two of them ran past the orange smoke, still being careful to listen to where Filch was based on his yelling, and up the stairs to the next floor.

“God Namjoon, that stinks!”

“Well, we needed a distraction, didn’t we?”

“Isn’t that—” Jimin paused as he heard the voices arguing upstairs.

“It’s them!” Taehyung grinned excitedly and ran up the stairs two at a time while Jimin followed. “Hyung! We’re back!” he yelled. The two of them reached the landing of the stairs and found the rest of their friends hiding behind a wall on the other side.

“Hey! It’s Taehyung and Jimin!” Hoseok grinned and stood up as his underclassmen ran towards him.

“Did you guys bring the wands?” Seokjin asked.

“We did!” Jimin said and pulled everyone’s wands out of his pocket and gave it to them.

“Awesome!” Jungkook grinned and high-fived his two classmates.

“Do you know where Filch is?” Yoongi asked.

“Based on his yelling, he’s looking in the wrong place,” Taehyung snickered. “We heard him heading to the Kitchens. He can barely see anything downstairs because of all the smoke.”

“Yeah, I thought it was just a stinkbomb,” Yoongi said. “But Namjoon made some kind of smoking stinkbomb.”

“I honestly didn’t think it would smoke,” Namjoon confessed. “I think I added too many Salamander Eggshells.”

“It doesn’t matter, the smoke gives us extra cover,” Hoseok said. “Now, let’s pack some papers!”

“Yeah!” everyone cheered and followed him down the stairs.

…

“Alright, is Filch still out of sight?” Namjoon asked. The seven of them were back in the detention room with all the stacks of papers and everything.

“Yeah, I think so,” Seokjin said, looking out the door one last time before closing it. “Anyway, let’s just hurry this up so Taehyung and Jimin have time to run back.”

“And then butterbeer!” Jungkook cheered.

“And then butterbeer,” Hoseok agreed. “Alright, so we just say ‘Pack’ right?”

“That should do it,” Yoongi nodded before pointing his wand at a stack of parchment. “Pack!” he waved his wand and the parchment flew into a nearby empty box, filing itself neatly.

“Awesome!!” Jimin grinned and waved his wand out as well. “We’ll be done in no time!” He pointed his wand at another stack of parchment and uttered “Pack!” before watching them being carefully filed away as well. Altogether, it took the seven of them less than 3 minutes to do Filch’s task. The room which was full of the stacks of paper and parchments was now clean and empty except for the filled boxes on the floor.

“Team work makes the dream work,” Jungkook cheered and high-fived Seokjin.

“I actually understood what you said for once,” his hyung laughed.

“Time for you two to go back now,” Namjoon said as he handed his wand over to Jimin. “Will you two be fine?”

“Yeah, as long as nothing wrong happens like Filch suddenly walking out of the kitchen,” Taehyung shrugged.

“I’ll come by the office after a few minutes,” Hoseok said. “Filch needs to know we did our job,” he grinned and handed his wand over to Jimin as well.

“Alright, we’ll see you guys soon,” Jimin waved as he stuffed everyone else’s wands back into his pocket. Taehyung accompanied him to the door and the two left the room.

“Man, this is the best detention I’ve ever been too,” Taehyung grinned as he skipped to Filch’s room. Jimin nodded in agreement but stopped once he heard a pair of footsteps down the hallway.

“Wait! Come back!” Jimin hissed and pulled Taehyung with him to duck behind a wall. He gestured for Taehyung to be quiet and listened in to the sound.

“Stupid, filthy, students messing up the castle. I’m oughta throw them in the lake, feed them to the werewolves or something,” they heard someone mutter.

“’Filch,’” Taehyung mouthed, staring at Jimin with wide eyes. The two of them peeked behind the wall and true enough, they saw the Hogwarts caretaker stalking towards his office room. He was wearing nose plugs and Jimin would have laughed if he wasn’t hiding from Filch.

“What do we do?” Jimin whispered. Taehyung bit his lip in thought before grabbing something out of his pocket. A Dung Bomb.

“This should work to distract him for a bit,” Taehyung whispered back before giving it to Jimin. “Here, you’re the Quidditch Chaser.” Jimin nodded, took the Dung Bomb from Taehyung, before throwing it across the hallway where it exploded immediately.

“AHHH WHO DID THAT?!” Filch yelled. Taehyung and Jimin ducked behind the wall again as the Caretaker turned around. “I know someone else is here! Come out, come out wherever you are!” he called out.

“We’ve got to keep distracting him,” Taehyung whispered. “I’ll distract him and run off to the other side while you get to the office.”

“But what about you?” Jimin protested.

“I’ll try to find my way back,” Taehyung said. “If I don’t make it, you and Jungkook have to name your firstborn after me.”

“But Taehyung—” Jimin protested again but Taehyung put up the hood of his cloak and tied his scarf tightly around his mouth.

“Fly, you fools,” he said before running off in the other direction. “COME AND GET IT FILCH!” Jimin heard him yell along with the sound of another Dung Bomb being set off.

“YOU! COME BACK HERE!” Filch yelled and ran after Taehyung. The coast was clear after that and Jimin ran quickly to the office.

“I hope your crazy plan works, Taehyung.”

…

“COME AND GET IT FILCH!” Taehyung yelled before throwing another Dung Bomb down the hallway.

“YOU COME BACK HERE!” he heard Filch yell back. Taehyung ran with all his might, looking for any place for him to hide in. Unfortunately, all he could see were more paintings on the walls and nothing else. ‘Aww man, I need to hide,’ Taehyung mentally groaned as he kept on running, huffing and puffing as he did so. He secretly wished Jungkook were around to do the running work.

“I’M GOING TO GET YOU AND YOU’LL BE SORRY FOR IT!” he heard Filch yell as he caught up. Then, up ahead, Taehyung spotted what appeared to be an old broom closet. He willed his feet to run faster before cramming himself inside the closet and shutting the door. Outside, he heard Filch run past the broom closet, still cursing and yelling as he did so. Taehyung waited for a few more minutes before slowly opening the door. He checked to see if the coast was clear before walking down the hallway. ‘Alright Taehyung, now you just have to go back to the office and pretend like—’

“Meow.”

Taehyung stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to find Mrs. Norris looking up at him. ‘Shit,’ he mentally cursed. He didn’t account for Mrs. Norris. That only meant Filch would be just right around the corner.

“So! There you are!” Taehyung looked up to find Filch sneering at him from the end of the hallway. “I’ve got you know, student. You were the one who dropped that stinkbomb, weren’t you?” Filch inched toward him. Thinking fast, Taehyung grabbed another Dung Bomb from his pocket and aimed it at Mrs. Norris.

“Stay back!” Taehyung yelled, trying to lower his voice just a bit so that Filch wouldn’t recognize it. “Or else Mrs. Norris gets it! I heard cats have a more sensitive sense of smell than humans do.”

“You won’t dare…” Filch sneered. If Taehyung wasn’t wearing a scarf around his mouth, Filch would have been able to see him smirking with satisfaction.

“Oh, I would,” he said before throwing the Dung Bomb directly at the cat. All he could hear was Mrs. Norris yowling and Filch yelling angrily because he ran directly back to Filch’s office. While running, he threw the rest of the Dung Bombs over his shoulder to get rid of the evidence. Once he saw the office door in sight, Taehyung ran faster and threw open the door.

“Taehyung!” Jimin grinned and leapt off his seat. “You made it!”

“Yeah…” Taehyung wheezed and caught his breath. He pulled his hood back and removed his scarf from his face while sitting down on the chair in front of Filch’s desk. “I just… made it. Can you lock the door again?”

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded. He went to the door and uttered “Reversio” as he waved his wand on the lock. The lock clicked back into place and Jimin returned his wand to the drawer in Filch’s desk. “Try not to look like you’ve run a marathon or something,” Jimin said to Taehyung.

“Believe me, I’m trying my best,” Taehyung huffed and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Suddenly, the door swung open. Taehyung and Jimin sat up straight in their seats as Filch walked in carrying Mrs. Norris who still smelled strongly of Dung Bombs.

“You two…” he wheezed, pointing at the two of them. “You two dropped the stinkbomb and threw Dung Bombs around earlier, didn’t you?”

“How could we, Filch?” Jimin asked innocently. “We were just sitting here like you told us to.”

“Yeah, the door was locked so how could we leave?” Taehyung pointed out, acting innocent like Jimin. “And the stinkbomb was dropped while you were punishing us here so how could we have done it?”

“You must have found some way to—”

“Mr. Filch?” Hoseok stepped into the room.

“Now what do you want, boy?” Filch snapped at him.

“I came to tell you that we finished filing the papers like you told us to,” Hoseok said. Taehyung bit his lip to keep himself from grinning.

“Does that mean we’re free?” Jimin asked.

“You finished?” Filch frowned. “Impossible!”

“You can look around if you don’t believe me,” Hoseok shrugged. Filch walked towards him.

“If you are making this up, you’ll join Taehyung and Jimin here,” he said before walking ahead back to the detention room.

“We’re home free, you two,” Hoseok grinned and high-fived the two of them before they walked to keep up with Filch. The caretaker threw open the door to the detention room and stared wide-eyed at the clean room.

“Oh, hi Mr. Filch! We finished our job already,” Seokjin greeted him.

“Wow guys, you worked fast,” Taehyung grinned at his friends.

“Well, it took a lot of working and focusing, but nothing like a little hard work to get things done,” Yoongi added, smirking slightly at Jimin who rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, while working I really had time to reflect about my actions,” Jungkook added in mock-seriousness. “I guess, it really was wrong for me and my friends to stay late in the Forbidden Forest and I think we really deserved this detention.”

“Yeah…” everyone nodded in agreement.

“Y-you…  all of you…” Filch stammered. “You used magic, didn’t you?”

“But you took our wands from us,” Namjoon explained. “How could we have used magic?”

“Oh! Can we have those wands back Mr. Filch?” Seokjin asked politely. “I need to work on my Transfiguration homework. Saturday is my studying day, you see?” Filch glared at all of them again before turning around and stalking back to his office. The seven of them looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

“Now that was a very successful plan,” Hoseok grinned.

“Let’s celebrate!” Jungkook cheered. “Butterbeer is on Yoongi-hyung!”

“Hey! I never said anything about that!” Yoongi protested. “And quiet down first. Filch is coming back.”

“Here!” Filch scowled and shoved their wands at them. “You may have finished this detention but next time, I won’t go easy on you all. I’ll be watching you.”

“And we’ll try to work hard again,” Namjoon bowed. “Until the next detention, Mr. Filch,” he waved.

…

“And then when Filch saw me he was like ‘You won’t dare’ and I was like ‘Hell yeah I will’ and then I threw the Dung Bomb right at Mrs. Norris and then I ran back to the office and then he came back after and—”

“Mrs. Norris totally smelled like Dung Bombs.”

“Yeah! But then she kind of smelled bad from the beginning anyway.”

“Not bad,” Namjoon grinned. “That was quick-thinking using a Dung Bomb to distract him, Taehyung.”

“That was a close call though,” Seokjin said. “It’s a good thing we’re all here though.” After leaving the detention room, Yoongi led them to the passageway that led to Hogsmeade. After half an hour, they managed to get a spot in The Three Broomsticks and order several bottles of butterbeer.

“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful though. We’ll need to get back to the castle before dark so that Filch doesn’t get suspicious again,” Yoongi said. Nobody spoke up. “Or… we could be really reckless and break out of detention again if Filch catches us.”

“That sounds more like us,” Hoseok laughed. “If we did it once, we could do it again.”

“We’ve got Genius Namjoon on our side,” Jimin said proudly. Namjoon smiled shyly.

“Oh! Is it time for us to come up with a nickname for our group?” Taehyung piped up.

“Do we still need one?” Yoongi asked.

“Of course!” Jungkook exclaimed. “How about… Detention Squad?”

“Nah, it makes us sound like we love detention,” Seokjin shook his head.

“What if we just put the first letters of our name together,” Hoseok suggested.

“That might sound lame,” Jimin said. “How about something with the word ‘butterbeer’ in it? Since we’re drinking butterbeer to celebrate.”

“Butterbeer Team Squad!” Taehyung yelled.

“Why is there a team and a squad?” Yoongi asked, looking at him with his famous ‘What the hell is in your head?’ look.

“Because we’re a team and a squad,” Jimin added.

“It sounds kind of stupid but then so are we,” Namjoon shrugged and sipped his butterbeer.

“Butterbeer Team Squad. Butterbeer Team Squad,” Hoseok repeated. “It is kind of growing on me.”

“And it sounds catchy too,” Jungkook said. “Everyone who likes ‘Butterbeer Team Squad’ raise your bottle!” Everyone except for Yoongi raised their bottle. They all looked at Yoongi expectantly until finally he gave in and raised his bottle too.

“Yay!!” Taehyung cheered.

“Let’s toast to that,” Seokjin said. Everyone agreed and clinked their bottles in the center.

“To Butterbeer Team Squad!”

“Why don’t we just use the acronym?” Yoongi suggested. “BTS?”

“Eh, it’s not catchy enough,” Namjoon said. Yoongi shrugged and drank his butterbeer.

“Fair enough.”