Five Nights

The first night was the first time Sirius had kissed him. Behind the bushes, away from everyone else. It was the night of the Winter Ball in 4th year and the hired classical band was playing a symphony in the Great Hall, its sound muffled by thick, stone walls. Sirius and Remus had both left their dates, Marlene McKinnon (Sirius' 2-month girlfriend) and her friend, and had gone for a walk in the chilly, winter air. He wasn't sure what they'd even been talking about, something unimportant probably, when Sirius' hands had suddenly held his face and his lips silenced the words coming out of Remus' mouth. It was brief, much shorter than most of the other kisses they would share later, but Remus' world both revolved and dissolved around that kiss. It was maybe 10, 15 seconds and then Sirius pulled away. He looked deep into Remus' eyes and Remus' had that feeling again, that feeling that he was lost but he never wanted to be found. And then Sirius was gone, walking away and towards the Great Hall. Remus blinked. Only then was he aware of the cold stone wall pressed against his back. He took a breath and then headed back into the dance. He left not long after, mumbling about Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. The truth was, Remus could not stay in a room where Sirius Black was, not while his friend's eyes had been full of fire the first time they made contact after Remus had re-entered the Great Hall. It was a look Remus couldn't get away from. Not during a dance with Marlene McKinnon's friend, not while giving James advice on how to deal with his crush on Lily Evans, not while closing his eyes in his bed shortly after. The dreams of Sirius' death didn't visit Remus that night. That night, he dreamed of Sirius' hands cupping his face and Sirius' lips caressing his.