Movies and Madness
“We never did make any actual plans for sightseeing. I mean we come all the way out here to meet your long-lost older brother and like, spend time with him. We should do something fun!” Jason whines as he flops back onto the couch.
“Didn't we agree that we have to go see at least one of the Dickens houses, and Jane Austen’s house, and 221B Baker Street?” Dick asks from where he is stretching.
“Yeah, but somehow I don't think that a literary tour of London is what Harry considers fun. I mean, he hasn't said anything, but other than his comment about his bookworm of a friend ... “ Jason trails off giving Dick a look.
“Yeah, I see what you mean. I know he asked the wizarding people if it would be safe to invite his friends along, and I'm sure we could plan the literary tour of London for the day his bookworm friend tags along. We could also end up at the London Eye. And if it looks like he finds something interesting, we can always just stop. “
“Yeah, that might just have to work. I'm not sure those whales he lived with took him out to go do something.”
Harry walks into the room as Jason finishes, standing awkwardly in the doorway.
“Well, they did take me to the zoo once. It was for Dudley’s 11th birthday, they couldn't find a sitter, so they had to take me along. It was nice. When we were in the reptile house there was a snake, and I guess that breed is typically from Brazil. Well… it turns out I can talk to snakes? Anyways, it said it had never been. and then Dudley started pounding on the glass, and I just sorta made the glass vanish somehow. Dudley fell through and then the glass was back! I was in so much trouble for that, and I didn't even know that I had done it, let alone how." Harry shrugs and leans against the wall.
“That is… awesome! Seriously dude, just… you trapped Dudley in a snake enclosure on accident! I wish I could have seen his face!” Jason says between cackles of laughter.
Dick on the other hand looks torn between laughter and horror. “What did they do? Your aunt and uncle, or our aunt and uncle, I guess? You said you were in so much trouble….?”
“Oh, uh, well, I was grounded, I guess,” Harry shrugs, “They yelled a lot, they never called it being grounded, but I was only let out of my room for chores well until the letters started showing up."
“Did they lock you in the room? Is that why they put a cat flap on the door?” Dick asks, aghast at the thought.
“Oh, no, they didn't do that until the next summer.” Harry responds offhandedly.
“Wait, they put a cat flap on your door? Why?” Jason stops laughing, clenching his jaw and his fists.
“They had this big business dinner. And there was a house elf named Dobby that was insistent that it wasn't going to be safe for me at school, so he dropped the dessert on Mrs. Mason, and got me in trouble for using magic outside of school, even though I hadn't used magic. Vernon put bars on my window , and they locked me in my room. They fed me through the cat flap. Anyway, Ron’s brothers were worried about me, so they came and got me in their dad’s flying car. I got to spend the rest of these summer at their house, the Burrow. It was wicked!”
“Uh, Harry, you do know that it is not okay to lock a kid in the room like that. Right?” Dick slowly asks.
“It wasn't that bad. I didn't have to do chores or deal with Dudley and his friends chasing me around to beat me up.” Harry shrugs off the concern, changing the subject. “So, what were you guys talking about when I walked in?”
Jason takes the hint to drop the subject, especially since it looks like Dick wants to keep pushing it. “We were just talking about how we should do the literary tour when your bookworm friend can hang out with us. Then you two can have some time to chat but without feeling guilty about it. And that we should do the London Eye as well. Unless there is something else you want to do? “
“That sounds fine, especially since if Ron also tags along, we will have to explain pretty much everything. Purebloods or Wizards with two wizarding parents don't really spend any time in the muggle world. Hermione is a muggleborn though, so she'll be fine."
“Hang on, purebloods? Pretentious much? They sound like the other stupidly rich people back in Gotham when Bruce makes us go to galas,” Jason whines.
“Yeah, some of them are really bad. But I'm not really sure what I would even want to do in London. I play quidditch, it's a wizarding sport, and we can go to Hogsmeade on some weekends, that's the old wizarding village by the school. I could always show you Diagon Alley, the wizarding shopping district in London, but I'm not sure I want to deal with the wizarding world right now. Everyone always recognizes me. I hate the attention.”
“Yeah, I get that. Dickface over here doesn't though …”
“Hey!” Dick complains good naturedly.
“But it feels safer not having everyone pay attention to you all the time. And it's even worse when people get close 'cause they want something. Generally something from Bruce 'cause he's rich, and by now he spent so much time defending us that people think if they act nice towards us, he'll just give them stuff. Idiots. “
Harry's look of confusion fades and is replaced by understanding.
“So uhh, yeah, I'm cool with pretty much whatever you guys want to do. Also, Bruce and Sirius kicked me out, 'cause Sirius doesn't want to talk about certain things in front of me or doesn't want me to watch Bruce question him or something. I don't know. But if the two of you are in the middle of something, I can go, I guess?”
“Nah, we weren't doing nothing.” Jason shrugs nonchalantly.
“Jaybird was just complaining about being bored. Speaking of, is there something you want to do?” Dick looks at Harry hopefully, and noticing Harry’s uncertainty, says, “I guess we could watch a movie or TV or something."
“Ugh, not another Disney movie. Not Dumbo. Again.”
“Yeah, well I don't wanna watch another period piece based on one of your books.” Dick rolls his eyes.
“Guess that rules out Sherlock.”
“Fine!” Dick agrees, “So …. what are we watching?”
“Harry?”
Harry takes a few seconds to think, “Uh, there was a trilogy of movies Dudley wanted to watch, I know they were a big deal, but they had magic in them, so Aunt Petunia banned them. And I know they were based on books.”
Jason and Dick share a look of disbelief. “You aren't talking about the Lord of the rings movies, are you?” Jason asks in disbelief, “Please tell me you aren’t talking about Lord of the Rings.”
“Uh, I think that sounds right?”
“Harry. How. What. Those evil, Despicable, terrible, awful, evil, evil people. Lord of the Rings, books or movies are absolute masterpieces showing the difficulties in the triumph of good versus evil. It is one of the most amazing, immersive, and genuinely good fantasy series out there. How dare they ban those books!” Jason, who had jolted upright upon hearing that Harry had never watched or read Lord of the Rings collapsed back into his seat once he finished his tirade against the Dursleys, seemingly dejected at the thought of people like that existing.
“So, Jason's probably going to be like that for a while,” Dick jokes, “But we should go see if Alfred already has snacks for a movie marathon, or if we need to order some. Because you have got to watch Lord of the Rings.”
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When Sirius and Bruce finally settled into the sitting room of his suite, away from the boys for a few hours, courtesy of a movie marathon, Sirius is torn between turning into a dog and staying that way, and having this conversation.
“You said earlier that you expect me to tell you everything, but I'll admit, I have no idea where to even begin. Do you know anything about wizarding history?” At Bruce’s raised eyebrow, Sirius chuckles and continues, “I didn't think so. Well, I suppose I'd probably first explain some of the laws, specifically the ones that say I shouldn't be telling you this. So, there are a few different governing bodies that need to be explained. You've got the International Confederation of Wizards, ICW for short, and they are sort of like the UN, I guess. They passed the international statute of secrecy a few centuries ago. For the most part, enforcement falls to the individual countries, but when big stuff threatens to expose magic to a whole bunch of muggles at once, the IWC gets involved. Ah, muggles are non-magic folk. I don't exactly know where the Justice League would fit in. I'm honestly not sure how many people in the wizarding world are actually aware of what goes on in the rest of the world. Too many elitist snobs.
Anyway back during what you call World War Two, we had what we called Grindelwald’s War. We learned a bit about it growing up, but I honestly don't remember much beyond that it ended when Albus Dumbledore beat him in a duel. Well, fast forward a few decades and we have another dark wizard rising to power here in the UK. He called himself Lord Voldemort and his followers are called Death Eaters. They can be identified by magical tattoos called the dark mark, which also refers to the same symbol which would be suspended over houses after they attacked.
So old Moldyshorts was able to gain a following of elitist purebloods, people who have long histories of inbreeding basically, who really don't want the half bloods and muggleborn who out number them to take away their power. So Moldyshorts lets them torture or kill muggles or anyone related to muggles, because it helped him gain power. And then for some reason that Lily and James knew, Moldyshorts was targeting them. So, they went into hiding under the Fidelius, and I convinced them to make Peter the secret keeper, and he betrayed them. Coward.” Sirius pauses, breathing harshly “I was so stupid. I went after him. I was going to kill him. Then he faked his death and framed me and I just... Broke. I broke. They arrested me and carted me off to the maximum-security wing of Azkaban. Wizarding prison. Guarded by dementors. They feed off the good parts of your soul well, unless they get to just suck out your entire soul. When dementors are around , it gets cold and it starts feeling like there will never be any hope left in the world, and they start making you remember your worst memories , it's like reliving nightmares but you can't ever wake up.” Sirius stops again, numbly staring off into space, “I don't remember ever getting a trial. I don't remember a lot of stuff from before... The only reason I didn't completely lose my mind is because I'm an animagus. The emotions and just general effects of dementors aren't so bad when you're an animal.” Sirius fall silent again, looking vacantly at his hands. “I know I said I'd tell you everything. And I will. But I can't... please don't...” He breaks off, breathing heavily and looking lost.
Calmly, Bruce interjects, “That's fine. I still expect you to fill me in on everything. I need to know what to expect, for Harry's safety, but also so I can plan with the necessary governments. And I don't feel entirely comfortable having you around the boys. If it would be easier, I suppose you could write it all down and I could ask you any clarifying questions...”
As Bruce trails off clearly not fond of that idea, Sirius chuckles. “Thanks, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Too many people can see it. “
“What if you typed it? You said the wizarding world is isolated and elitist. If I secure it well enough electronically, I doubt anyone in the wizarding world would have any idea where to start where computers are concerned. “
Sirius grins, “Now that sounds like a brilliant idea.”
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Later that evening, a knock on the hotel room door distracts the boys from their movie marathon.
“Uh, Alfred are we expecting any company?” Dick shouts not pausing the movie.
“As a matter of fact, yes. I invited Miss Prince seeing as we are in London. I thought it would be remiss to be in town and not arrange dinner.”
Alfred doesn't even attempt to hide his fond smile as Jason starts hounding Dick “Pause the movie already! Diana's here!,” followed by the sounds of what might have been a scuffle but was more than likely just Jason rushing to untangle themselves from the blankets.
“Alfie, why didn't you warn me Diana was coming for dinner? I mean, really, I thought you were better than that. “Jason clutches at his heart dramatically while chasing Alfred to the door.
Alfred raises his eyebrow “I thought you boys might enjoy the surprise. Although, if I am mistaken, I'm certain she would be willing to reschedule.”
Jason splutters for a moment, then catches the brief smirk as Alfred turns to open the door, and Jason starts to laugh.
Alfred barely has a moment to greet Diana before she is leaning forward to kiss his cheeks and asking where the freezer is.
“I brought ice cream, I hope you don't mind, I wasn't sure which flavors everyone likes so I brought a few of my favorites.”
As soon as Diana said ice cream Jason and darted forward grabbed the bags and with a quick “thanks, you're the best Diana” darted out of the room. Once Jason had run off leaving Diana and Alfred in the entryway of the hotel suite Diana offers Alfred a fond smile and her jacket.
“Children can be so excitable, it's lovely. Thanks for having me Mr. Pennyworth.”
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While Jason was following Alfred to see Diana as soon as possible, Harry was looking towards Dick questioningly.
“Oh, she's one of B’s friends she's really cool! Jason and I mostly call her Aunt Diana or just Diana. She does art restoration for Museum in London mostly, but she travels a lot. Dick’s explanation does little to calm him down, but before Harry can start to panic, Jason ducks his head into the room and tells Dick to make room for Diana to join them, before darting out again to ask her to join them for the movie marathon.
As Jason drags Diana back with him, she asks which movie.
“Lord of the Rings. We're almost to the end of Fellowship of the Ring, they just got out of Moria. “
“Oh, those movies are based on John's books? I've been hearing good things about them, but I haven't brought myself to watch them yet. I worry they won't do his world justice. But I suppose if you are thrilled by them, they must be exquisitely done, and I would be thrilled to join you. “
“Yes! They are amazing. And, wait a minute… you called him John, does that mean you knew JRR Tolkien?” Jason stops dead in his tracks, looking at Diana like she is the greatest person ever, which, well, as far as Jason is concerned, she already was. Which naturally triggers a round of chuckles from Diana.
“Yes, he and his wife were good friends. We spoke often of philosophy and war. And John, well did you know he liked to base characters on people he cared for?”
“Yeah, character in Two Towers on CS Lewis, and there's a character in the fellowship book based on himself although he was left out of the movies. And I think I remember hearing he based someone on his wife... “
“Yes, Luthien was based on Edith, he was all very sweet. Did you know that he based a character on me?”
“No way?! Eowyn? Who am I kidding? It could only be Eowyn! That is so cool!
Jason would have continued rambling had Harry not raised his hand and asked for someone to “please explain what on earth is going on right now I'm so confused. “
At which point Diana breaks away from Jason to greet Dick and introduce herself to Harry.
“Alfred informed me Dick had found out he had an older brother, and I must say it is absolutely lovely to meet you, and I look forward to getting to know you better.”
Diana gives Harry a kind smile as she grasps his hands in hers during the handshake.
Jason seemingly loses his patience and says to the room “can we please get back to the movie? We still have two more to watch, and I for one, want to get as far as possible before Alfred decides its bedtime. “
“Fine, I guess we can keep watching. And you're going to hog Diana all night, aren't you?” Dick gripes playfully.
“At least she recognizes and appreciates great literature. We all know you just watched them for the epic fight scenes.”
Diana chuckles again at the antics of the boys not having stopped smiling once since she arrived patting Dick’s shoulder once before settling in the open seat nearest Jason.
By the time the King of Rohan is ruling in his own mind, Alfred is calling for the movie to be paused as dinner is served.
Dinner is a raucous affair. Padfoot spends the meal begging for food, while Alfred spends the meal attempting to convince “Master Padfoot, to please show some decorum and eat from his own dish,” much to the amusement of the boys, who spend much of dinner trying to sneakily pass food from their own plates to the dog.
The boys, or Dick and Jason at least, spend much of the dinner pestering Diana.
“Hey, so Jay wants to do a literary tour of London, and I already voted that we have to do the London Eye, but what else should we go see while we're in London for an actual vacation? We tried asking Harry, but he doesn't know London all that well... Dick trailed off with a shrug.
“Well, I'm not sure how much of what I enjoy doing would also entertain three teenage boys, but if you'd like, I could give you a behind the scenes tour of the museum I work at?”
“Bruce, please?”
“That sounds awesome Diana!”
Dick and Jason ask, voices overlapping.
“If it's really no trouble then I don't see why not. Would you be amenable to a few of Harry's friends joining us?”
“Of course, Bruce, the more the merrier, is that the right phrase?”
“We have plans for tomorrow, but later in the week should be fine.
As dinner winds down, and ice cream is served, laughter abounds and even Harry relaxes, Alfred snaps a few photos with a small, fond smile of his own.