This Can't Be Happening
Darren had woken to an owl from the Falcons’ head coach, inviting him in for a meeting about his return to the team. Finally, things were looking up, things might have been returning to normal. He was aware that it had been nearly a month since Remus left and Angie didn’t seem to be too concerned with the fact that no one had heard from him and considering Black’s escape, Darren was especially surprised by this.
The papers had published several articles about his arrest and how the minister would be launching an investigation into the mistakes leading up to it. Everyone who mattered knew that this was code for the minister messed up and Angie had put him right. She never told Darren what she did to make the minister see reason, but then Darren never asked, he knew better than to ask his sister about what she did in Azkaban.
The less he thought about that place the better he felt, he couldn’t escape the feeling that after everything they had been through, he somehow deserved to be there, he deserved to be punished for not getting to Angie sooner in Tibet, for not being there more and not being a better brother.
Everyone was on edge considering Angie’s return to Tibet, she’d asked Darren to go with her and despite his parents begging with them to stay, he said yes. They’d fought off the rest of the Yetis and helped to put the village back to the way it should have been, operational and functioning. The villagers returned and thanked the Lockwoods for their help, offering small trinkets to remember them by, but Angie and Darren didn’t need anything to remember the village, the experience and the struggle they’d been through was enough.
Darren noticed Angie stopping to look up at the mountain before they left, like someone had called out to her, but Darren hadn’t heard anything. Angie smiled up at the mountain and took a deep breath before leaving the village with her brother.
I wasn’t surprised at Remus’s reaction to the news that Sirius had escaped, it was nothing less than I expected. What I hadn’t counted on was the level of blame he was placing on me. How could he think that I let him escape on purpose? I wanted to make things right, I wanted to tell him about the conversation I’d had with Black and how he was innocent, whatever he’d been put in Azkaban for, he didn’t do it, but he knew exactly who did.
‘Angie,’ James stopped me speaking. I’d tried everything to get Remus to speak to me again, but nothing seemed to work, I asked everyone for advice, David, Jocelyne, Benji, even my parents, none of them knew what to do. The Potter’s were my last hope. ‘I’m sorry, but Sirius is guilty.’ I felt my heart sink. ‘He betrayed us, he knew what he was doing and he deserves to be in Azkaban.’
‘How can you say that?’
‘Because you weren’t there,’ the quidditch player said much more firmly. ‘You have no idea of the fear we were surrounded with, the mistrust and some of it was justified. Now I’m not proud of some of the things we needed to do, but we did them, we sacrificed so much for our friends, just to keep them alive and Black ripped through that trust like it was nothing.’
‘He didn’t-‘
‘Yes, he did!’ James snapped. ‘Angie, I am sorry about what has happened to you, I am sorry that Remus is no longer speaking to you, but your judgement and your choices have been clouded by your time in Tibet. While I don’t believe you intentionally let Black escape, I don’t think it’s any coincidence that you were there right before the news broke.’ Lily had yet to say anything, she just seemed so disappointed. Why didn’t they believe me? Why wouldn’t they help? ‘Angie, I’d like you to leave now.’
I took a moment in some vague hope that James would change his mind, but it wasn’t likely and so I simply got up and left. The school term had started up again and the news was the dementors were there to protect the students, more likely they were there to protect Harry. I decided at that point there was only one other person who would tell me the truth about what happened twelve years ago and possibly shed some light on what might be happening now.
‘Angie, I’m sorry you’ve come all this way,’ Dumbledore gestured to the teacup sitting in front of me, which I sipped tentatively. ‘But I cannot give you the answers you seek. What happened that night at the Potter’s is a mystery, even I am not in possession of all the facts.’
I sighed, a little frustrated at Dumbledore’s answer. ‘What do you know? James said that Sirius betrayed them, but that doesn’t make any sense. When I was with him in his cell, nothing about that man was guilty. He was just… sad. He just wanted to come home again.’
Dumbledore eyed me suspiciously, before a small knock came at his door. I had hoped not to be interrupted, but then he was the Headmaster, I couldn’t expect miracles.
‘I think there is someone much more qualified than I to give you answers.’ Dumbledore said and got up, striding over to the door. I took a moment, placing the teacup back on the desk and looked around the office I’d once sat in faced with a similar problem about truth. I hated the feeling of disappointment I’d felt back then, I hated it now.
‘Angelina.’ Remus.
I turned to see the one face I’d missed over the last two months, the one person I needed to make everything right with and the one person who seemed the most disappointed in me. He looked tired, his green cardigan hung off of his lanky frame and I remembered the mornings I woke up and it was the only thing I could reach to keep me warm. I missed those days and I missed his smile. I missed Remus.
‘I’m sorry Albus, I have a lot of work to do.’ He said and I understood. I wasn’t sure if I should have made an attempt to stop him or not, so I didn’t nothing and watched him turn to leave.
‘Remus,’ Dumbledore’s voice was quietly commanding and was enough to make Remus stop in his tracks. ‘Remember what you asked of me. I am now asking something of you. Just listen… please.’
I briefly wondered what it was that Remus had asked of Dumbledore and if it was important. Remus took a long time to move, he shoved his hands in his pockets and Dumbledore placed his hand on his shoulder, a last ask of patience.
Soon I was left entirely alone with Remus and I had no idea where to start. He eventually turned around and the last time I’d seen that expression was when I admitted to taking the dreamless sleep potion again. But this was worse, he looked at me with what I could only identify as hatred.
‘Are you going to say anything?’ He asked, his voice was cold and nothing like the Remus I’d come to know.
‘I didn’t ask Dumbledore to send for you,’ was what came out first. ‘Remus, I promise, I didn’t come here to see you or hurt you anymore than I already have done.’
‘Angelina, there is nothing more you can do to hurt me.’ I felt as if something sharp was caught in my chest. ‘You betrayed me, in every sense of the word. You. Betrayed. Me.’ I could feel the tears coming, this couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t, I couldn’t be without him again, never again.
‘No, no, I didn’t-‘
‘Yes, you did!’ I felt the rage coming from his words, the controlled anger that was threatening to break out. Remus took a step towards me and for the first time in my life, I was scared of him. ‘Angelina, I asked you for one thing and one thing alone, that you wait until you were in a better position to help those around you. Now I will not pretend to be okay with you waltzing into Azkaban, but I could have forgiven it… I cannot forget what Black did to us and I cannot forgive his actions-‘
‘Remus, he didn’t do it-‘
‘Angelina!’ Remus shouted, his anger at tipping point. ‘Black betrayed us, his actions put Harry’s life in danger.’ He was much closer to me than I was comfortable with. ‘I want you to seriously think about how you would feel if one of your closest friends betrayed you and put Jackson and Harper’s life at risk. Seriously think about your reaction and then tell me if you think my actions are unjustified.’
‘They are.’ I couldn’t stop the tears, but I needed him to believe me. ‘Remus, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. Sirius is an innocent man and he knows who really betrayed you.’
‘Who?’
‘What?’
‘Who was it that really betrayed us?’ I felt my mouth open, but nothing came out. ‘Because there is less than a handful of people who could have known that Lily and James would be in that house on that night and Black killed one of them trying to cover his tracks.’
‘He didn’t kill anyone, Remus, please you have to believe me.’ I begged.
‘No, I don’t.’ His voice was suddenly quiet and I was more scared than I think I’d ever been before. I was losing him and my heart was breaking. ‘Angelina, the evidence speaks for itself. Sirius Black was their secret keeper, James’s most trusted friend and Voldemort could not have found them without the information he, and he alone, possessed. He tried to cover up his treachery by blaming Peter, when that didn’t work, he didn’t hesitate to kill him, taking several muggles and innocent lives with him. So, tell me, who exactly is it that Black so keen to blame this time?’
I couldn’t speak, my mouth kept opening, but words wouldn’t form.
‘Angelina, I am warning you now, my patience on this matter is thin and your questioning of those events, combined with Black’s convenient escape is only serving to wear it down further.’ Remus took a breath that barely calmed him. ‘Now, if you have anything you would like to tell me, now would be the time.’
‘I didn’t help him escape.’ My voice cracked in so many places and I couldn’t believe that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.
‘Well, I’m not stupid, Angelina, I know that you know the consequences of releasing guilty men from that place. But the fact remains that since your trip into Azkaban, Black has escaped and will presumably come here to kill Harry.’ Remus swallowed and thought about what he was going to say. ‘As much as I dislike the circumstance we are currently in, it doesn’t change the fact that I will not leave Hogwarts while Harry’s life is in danger… and any chance we had at a relationship, any hope we had for the future is now gone. Thanks to your actions and you inability to think clearly, I now have serious doubts about your trip to Tibet and whether it was a worthwhile endeavour.’ Remus’s eyes began to water and I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t take the pain of what he was saying. I’d sooner spend another year starving on the side of a mountain than go through this. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No, please, don’t do this.’ I was full on crying, I just wanted to reach out and hold him. ‘You promised you’d never leave me, not for any reason, you said that, you swore it.’
‘And you swore to wait until you were strong enough!’ Remus shouted again, it only made the tears fall harder from my eyes. ‘You promised me you would wait, you promised to allow me to help you and you lied! You lied to my face… I can no longer trust you and I can no longer be in a relationship with someone who is so willing to break their promises to me.’
Remus just shook his head and began striding out of Dumbledore’s office. I knew I needed to go after him and for a while I did, I called for him, I cried hard as I called his name, but the slamming of the Dark Arts classroom door made me give finally give up. I couldn’t force Remus to listen to me, I couldn’t force him to believe me and I couldn’t make him love me again.