Chapter 03 - Call My Name(BtVS)
Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation. I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below. The lyrics and melody to "Bring Me To Life" are copyright Evanescence. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Show's been off the air since May of 2003. Can they still be considered spoilers?
Author's Note on Dawn: Dawn exists in this story(and most of mine) because I really liked the idea Vogonguard came up with for his/her(not sure which) story, "Just One Night"( on Mystic Muse) for her creation/existence. Basically, the monks of Dagon didn't implant memories per se; they sent a spell back through time and caused a pregnancy of Joyce's that was supposed to fail to happen successfully, then pressed the Key into the resulting baby. Nine months later, they got Dawn. All the memories of her seem real because they *are* real, it was just that that fourteen years of history happened twice.
Acknowledgments: The main thing here is a massive thank you to Willowfan. Without you, B, I wouldn't still be writing. I'd also probably be a lot crazier. ^_^
Feedback: Yes, please. Any type you wanna send. Can't fix what I don't know is broken, right?
Summary: Early-mid fourth season. Inspired by the song Bring Me To Life
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Chapter 1
[This is the way it's supposed to be. No apocalypses, nothing to Slay, nothing to research, just me, the sofa and my veggie-like feelings.] Buffy Summers took a deep breath and sighed in contentment as these words echoed through her head. She was currently sitting/laying on the sofa in her mother's house, comfortably slouching and trying her best to think of nothing. Not Slaying, not that asshole Parker, not her uncomfortable, yet strangely familiar feelings for one Mr. Riley Finn, not her friends. Nothing.
A slight pang went through her as Willow's face flashed through her mind. Well, maybe she could spare a thought for her favorite red headed witch. After all, it had only been a month or so since Oz had left and Willow was still hurting from that, although Buffy had noticed that Willow had improved lately, not been as mopey. Been more like her old self, really. The blonde smiled a little, just to herself. Maybe Will had met a new guy and she was entering into the somewhat painful, but so much fun getting-to-know-you stage with someone. Now that she thought about it, her mood had seemed to start changing just after all that crap with the Gentlemen. Right about the time that her own mood had started going totally wonky, really.
[What's with that, anyway?] she thought acerbically. [Is there some cosmic rule that says only two Scoobies can be happy at a time? Xander's been mostly happy since he and Anya hooked up and God, did I really just think that?] She shook her head and forced her thoughts back to where she wanted them. [Giles has been quasi-miserable since Ms Calender died...] That brought a familiar guilty feeling rushing in, but she shook it off. It was ground she'd covered many times in the nearly two years since it had happened. Ground she knew so well, she could tell exactly where in the guilt trip she was by the scenery going by the window of her little mental tour bus. [Will and I keep trading off. She was happy with Oz and I had that mess with Angel, then the great 'get some, get gone' crap with jerky Parker...] Her mental tirade ground to a halt as soon as the phrase, 'get some, get gone' passed through her head.
That phrase struck so many memories as it went through, all of them starring a beautiful, moderately buxom brunette. [Faith...] The name echoed unwillingly, yet with an unmistakable "air" of wistfulness. Again, she shook her head, trying to clear her errant thoughts, yet this time, her mind was much slower to cooperate. It insisted on showing her memories of all the times she and Faith went Slaying together, just patrolling together, trained together, danced together, killed someone together...
[Whoa! Where the hell did that come from? Faith killed that guy, not me! She's the one who had the stake in her hand, not me!] Even as the denial rang through her, she felt a smidgen of doubt creep in. She'd been there after all, Faith hadn't been alone.
[She's still the one who killed him,] she stubbornly thought.
{And if he'd been on the other side of the alley? I would've staked him, not her.}
Buffy growled softly, getting angry with... well, her own subconscious, her own sense of fair play and honesty. [He wasn't on the other side, he was on the side where her stake was. Faith killed the guy not me. Just 'cause I happened to be there doesn't mean it was in any way my fault!]
There was a pause, then the little voice that was her conscience asked softly, {If it wasn't any of my fault, then why did I feel so guilty for months after? Why do I still feel guilty? Guilty that he's dead, that I didn't stop her in time, that I didn't help her deal with things?} The last part was "said" in the barest whisper.
A frown marred the beautiful features of the Slayer as she still fought truths she didn't like, but, mercifully perhaps, the universe dropped two distractions on her at that point. The first came in the form of the front door slamming closed and the second was the sound of the phone ringing. The ringing cut off abruptly, telling the blonde that her mother had answered it while the appearance of a small brunette answered who slammed the door.
Dawn's eyes lit up in pleasure at seeing her sister for the first time in a couple weeks, but only for a split second before she forced her expression into one of cool disdain. "Why are you here?" she demanded. "I mean, you moved out, so shouldn't you be, like, somewhere else? Somewhere not here?"
Buffy scowled at the much younger teen. "I still live here, you know. Well, part of the time, anyway," she carefully amended. "And that means I can be here if I want to, so mnya..." She stuck her tongue out at her sister in a childish display that actually managed to lighten her mood. A little, anyway.
The universe took notice, unfortunately.
"Buffy," Joyce walked in from the kitchen and the blonde teen's eyes snapped to her, her face paling a little at her mother's serious expression. "It's for you, a nurse from the hospital."
The Slayer blanched, her imagination started running, picking up speed as scenarios began to flicker through her mind. True, it was still daylight, but it was late-ish in the day with plenty of shadows where vamps and demons could hide and all she could think of was that something evil had caught one of her friends and they were now fighting for their lives. Standing quickly, Buffy darted over and almost snatched the phone from Joyce's hand before raising it her her face, the barest tremor in her hand as she did so. "H-hello? Yes, that's me. What?! Who did you say? Oh. Yes, I know Faith Spenser and yeah, I guess it is my name listed to be contacted. Does this mean she woke up?" The blonde wasn't sure how she felt about that, if it was true. She knew that there was a better than even chance that Faith would wake up and want to start being all evil again and she wasn't sure she would be able to go after her again the way she did last time. The knowledge that Faith was, Slayer or not, still human meant she couldn't just go kill her and, if Faith was still evil and crazy, that was what it would take to stop her.
"Uh huh. Oh. I see." The other two Summers women could tell nothing from the way Buffy's expression tightened down even further as she locked her feelings and emotions away and became the Slayer. "Well, do they have any idea how much longer?" Buffy ignored the curious looks from her mother and sibling. "Okay, then please call me back when she dies..." A sharp, tinny voice was heard indistinctly by the other two Summers women. "Okay, yeah, if you want to, go ahead and call me if she wakes up instead, but you just said that that wasn't gonna happen." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Okay, isn't likely to happen. Whatever. Goodbye." She pressed the 'end' button and walked passed her mother to replace the phone on it's charger.
As she walked back into the living room, intent on nothing more than resuming her vegetable-like state until time to patrol, she caught the look Joyce gave her and stopped. "What?" she asked, her tone faintly defensive.
Joyce gave her eldest a carefully neutral look. "I take it Faith isn't doing well?" Without thought, she put her arm around Dawn and pulled the girl closer to her in a hug. She knew Dawn had liked Faith when she first got her and had refused to believe that she was really bad when Buffy had told them what was going on.
"If you can call finally kicking the bucket not doing well, then yeah," she replied diffidently, then her nose scrunched up. "What does that mean, anyway? I mean, if you're dead, you can't just get up and start kicking buckets, right? Does that mean you're supposed to kick one then drop dead or is someone supposed to kick a bucket and hit you after you're dead or what? It's really confusing, like a lot of those old sayings and I..." She stopped and looked at the angry look on her sister's face and the exasperated one on her mother's. "What?"
Joyce just looked at her for a moment, then shook her head, well used to Buffy's sometimes rambling digressions during conversations. Both of her girls, if she was honest, though Buffy was far worse for it than Dawn. "Do you need a ride to the hospital so you can see Faith? If something does happen, it might be your last chance, Buffy." She automatically reached out to snag her purse with her free hand.
Buffy looked confused again, but it was quickly replaced with anger. "Why would I want to go see her now? I haven't seen her since the night I put her in there and I have no intention of seeing her again this side of a funeral home." The blonde turned and started toward the stairs, ignoring the hateful look she was getting from Dawn just as much as the incredulous one from her mother.
"Buffy! Honey, you really should go see her and make your peace with her. If you don't, you'll hate yourself and I don't want that to happen."
The Slayer stopped and turned back to fix Joyce with a baleful stare. "I made my peace with her seven months ago when I went to kill her. If she wasn't so stubborn, she'd have died that night, so now? Now I just want her to hurry it up and die already so the next Slayer can be called and maybe I can get some help I can rely on for a change!" With that, Buffy charged up the stairs, the echo from her door slamming sounding loudly, even in the living room.
Joyce stood there for several minutes feeling disappointed in her oldest child. She was sure she'd raised her to be more forgiving than that but knew better than to try to push Buffy any further right then. Buffy was as stubborn as her and Hank put together, with a little more thrown in for good measure, when she didn't want to do or face something, so all forcing her to talk now would get would be for her to go back to her dorm room so she wouldn't have to listen to anyone saying things she didn't want to hear.
"Mom?"
Joyce started a little, then looked at Dawn, a smile stretching her lips a little. "Yes, baby?"
Dawn looked like she was still angry with her sister, but also like she was trying to not be scared. "Could you take me to the hospital? I... I want to see Faith, tell her that I miss her and want her to wake up." She looked down and blushed faintly. "I go see her sometimes. Y'know, after school." Her head snapped up and a blazing fire shown clearly in her sky blue eyes. "It's not right that no one ever goes to see her. None of Buffy's friends have ever even walked into her room, did you know that? The nurses told me that Mr Giles came by once or twice but that was ages ago."
The young brunette stopped and took a deep breath, fighting to regain her composure. "I just... If she really is going to... going to... die," she forced the word out, "I want her to know that someone cared enough to see her one more time. To forgive her for whatever she might have done and to just sit with her so she doesn't have to be alone."
Joyce swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat and forced a smile onto her face as she reached up and lightly brushed the tears dripping from pain-filled blue eyes. "Sure, sweetie. You get your coat and I'll let Buffy know we're going out." She handed Dawn the car keys. "I'll meet you in the car in a few minutes, okay?"
Dawn smiled and hugged her mother quickly. "Thank you Mom! I knew you'd understand." Dawn pulled away and took the set of keys from Joyce's outstretched hand and almost ran for the front door.
Joyce let the smile drop from her face as she took a deep breath before heading upstairs. Stopping in front of Buffy's room, she knocked on the door, then pushed it open enough to stick her head inside. "Buffy?" She saw Buffy lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, the anger she'd shown downstairs still twisting her normally pretty features. Pushing the door open, the older blonde stepped inside. "Buffy, Dawn and I are going out for a little while. Will you still be here when we get back?"
Buffy shrugged her shoulders but said nothing. Joyce sighed and nodded, then turned to leave. "I heard what you guys were talking about. Did you know Faith threatened to kill you both? Well, actually, she said she was going to rape Dawn first because, how did she put it? Oh, yeah. She said 'Nobody should die without losing their cherry first.'" Buffy turned her head and gave Joyce a scornful look. "Still think Dawn should be around her? That she's really a good person underneath? That she's just misunderstood?"
Her daughter's words chilled her to the bone, especially since she knew Buffy wouldn't make something like that up just out of spite. Still, that was a long time ago and Faith was in a coma and not expected to live, from what she'd heard. It wasn't like she had to worry about than now. "I think Faith was a teenage girl that had too much responsibility thrust onto her. I think that when things fell apart on her, she had no idea how to deal with it and, unlike you, no one she felt she could turn to for help. I also think that I can't worry about an idle threat she made months ago. Right now, I have to worry about a daughter who wants to go see her friend one more time before she dies. A friend that she once told me she thought of as another, much 'cooler' sister." Joyce tried to ignore the hurt look that crossed Buffy's eyes. "But mostly, I'm taking Dawn to the hospital because no one, no matter what they may or may not have done, no one should die alone, Buffy. I know I taught you that, but you're too angry right now to remember. Trust me, go see Faith before something happens. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life." With that, she stepped back and closed the door with a quiet snap.
Buffy fought the feelings her mother's words stirred up within her, fought them as hard as any demon she'd ever faced, but still they eluded her attempts to control them. Just when she thought she'd won, a stray thought echoed through the deepest recesses of her mind. {I died alone.}
She shuddered at the matter of factness of the statement, immediately disputing it with, [No, I didn't. Xander and Angel both were with me.]
{They were there when I came back,} the part of her mind playing devil's advocate replied. {If Xander or Angel had been there when I died, they wouldn't have let me die in the first place.}
The blonde had no answer for that, simply because he knew that the nagging little voice was right. If either Xander or Angel had gotten there before she'd drowned, they wouldn't have let it happen. [...That doesn't matter. Like I told Mom, I already said goodbye to Faith and I don't want to see her ever again, so I have no idea why I'm even arguing with myself over this!]
There was quiet for a moment, then the voice quietly said, {I never said goodbye to her. I kissed her forehead as a thank you for telling me how to beat the Mayor. Hell, I almost forgave her for everything because she did!} Before Buffy could consciously process that or begin to offer a counter to it, more words echoed through her mind. {She's a Slayer and she wasn't dead, so I knew I'd see her again. Why would I say goodbye if I thought she'd wake up?}
With a growl, Buffy leaped off her bed and began stripping off the brightly colored clothing she'd worn to classes that day, pulling what she thought of as her 'Slaying clothes' out of her closet. Pulling on the black jeans and tshirt, she resolutely ignored the voice telling her she needed to go to the hospital. Finally, after pulling on her boots, Buffy loaded up on stakes and strapped the specially made sword sheath across her back before pulling on a denim jacket.
Hours later, she returned to a dark house, exhausted, but still unsettled. Going around to the back door, she used an old towel she kept there for that reason to clean the demon gore off her short sword, promising herself to give it a more thorough cleaning the next day. Setting the blade aside, the blonde stripped off her jacket, wrinkling her nose at the smell of the now rapidly decaying demon blood that had mixed with copious amounts of vampire dust. She pulled a few things out of the pockets before dropping the coat, with a sigh, into the nearby trashcan. [Damned council really needs to give Slayers a clothing allowance,] she grumbled to herself for the umpteenth time.
[Ah, well. At least it isn't new or anything.] She remembered how she and Faith had talked about it one night, both somewhat annoyed at having lost yet another pair of jeans, with Faith having lost her shirt as well.
* *Flashback* *
"Hey, I said I was sorry, B. What the hell more you want?" The brunette Slayer followed her counterpart as the two girls headed for the high school to report in and clean up. "How the hell was I supposed to know the damned demon would explode if I cut it's head off? Besides, did you see what the fucker did to my favorite shirt?" She plucked the material beside the gaping hole the demon had ripped in her tshirt.
"Favorite shirt? Faith, you got that shirt like two days ago at the thrift store."
The brunette shrugged and grinned at her companion. "Doesn't stop it from being my favorite, 'specially when some friggin' demon rips a hole in it before I can even wash it once."
Buffy scowled and tried once more to wipe some of the demon gore from her clothing. "At least your clothes aren't new or anything. My mom just bought these jeans and now look at them!" She sighed and wiped at the side of her leather jacket, some of the ooze coming off on her hand. "At least it should wash off my jacket. Dammit!" The blonde growled at herself as she automatically wiped the demon blood on her already messed up jeans. Turning a fulminating look on Faith, she snarled out, "Go ahead and laugh! Mom paid like forty bucks for these jeans and I only got to wear them once. Now I gotta throw them away!"
Faith just shook her head and opened the side door they normally used for after hours visits to the school. "I get that you're pissed, B, but geez! Maybe I gave you too much credit, cause I thought you'd'a figured it out by now." At the blonde's angry, uncomprehending look, the brunette rolled her eyes. "Buffy, how many shirts have you thrown away after Slaying in the last couple'a months? How many pair'a jeans?" She waved her hand before Buffy could answer. "Doesn't matter. My point is, I been listenin' to you bitch about trashin' all your 'good' clothes for months now and I don't believe you ain't caught a clue yet."
"Clue? What clue?" Buffy scowled at the other Slayer, her indignation at her implied stupidity swiftly becoming replaced by anger. "No one tossed me any clues, so there wasn't one to catch, Faith. If you've got a point, make it or shut the hell up and let me get clean."
Faith shook her head at the blonde's obtuseness and opened the locker she'd claimed for herself. Rifling through the small stash of shampoo and soap and other bathing supplies she kept at the school for just such times as tonight, she glanced at Buffy, a smirk curling her full lips. "You really are blonde, ain't'cha? I always thought it was an act." She deftly caught the shoe Buffy threw at her head. "Man, you got little feet! Anyway," she said tossing the shoe back toward the bottom of Buffy's locker. "The 'clue' you didn't catch is simple. Where do I get most of the clothes I go Slayin' in? The thrift store, that's where. I mean, look at what I got on right now; The shirt cost two dollars and the jeans cost five. Yeah, I'm pissed that they're a write off now, but mostly it's 'cause they got trashed before I got any real use out of'em and now I gotta go buy more."
Buffy turned to look at the younger girl, then quickly faced the locker again, a blush coloring her cheeks. She hadn't counted on Faith having stripped completely that fast. Swallowing thickly and ignoring the funny feeling wiggling in her stomach, she asked, "So, what? You're saying I should buy my clothes at the thrift store too?"
Faith smiled at Buffy, fighting to not show how the sight of the half dressed blonde affected her. "Exactly. Well, the ones you wear for Slayin' anyway. Save your 'good' clothes for other stuff like going out and shit." The brunette turned back to her locker and grabbed her shower kit, then headed into the shower room.
A moment later, Buffy caught up and the spray started in the next stall. "I don't know, Faith. I mean, those clothes are there because someone else had them, then donated them. I don't know if I could wear something someone else wore."
Faith stopped washing her hair and turned a gimlet stare on her blonde companion. Buffy's head just topped the tile partition. "You do realize the store washes all the clothes before they put them out for sale, don't'cha?" Buffy still had a little moue of distaste gracing her features and Faith rolled her eyes. "Look, Princess, if it bothers you that much, wash'em yourself a couple-ten times before you wear'em!"
Seeing Buffy actually thinking about what she'd said, Faith turned her attention back to getting demon gore and vampire dust out of her hair and off her body. As she rinsed her hair, she realized she still hadn't heard the other girl say anything, so she wiped the water out of her eyes and glanced over at the blonde. Buffy's expression said she was still bothered by the thought of wearing clothes from a thrift store.
Sighing, she reached for a washcloth and soap. "Look, B, I don't get why this is such a big deal. I mean, you've borrowed a couple shirts from me when yours got trashed, right?"
Buffy started at the sound of the brunette's voice and frowned. "Well, yeah, but..."
Faith cut off what she was going to say. "And I know you've borrowed clothes from your mom and Red, right? Hell, that top you wore last tuesday was Queen C's, so why is this freakin' you so bad?"
"I don't know," Buffy admitted with a shrug, finally starting her own cleaning ritual. "It just is. Maybe it's a holdover from my time in LA," she added with a sigh as the hot water slid over her shoulders.
Faith stepped back under the shower spray to rinse again and snorted with rough amusement. "So? You really ain't that stuck up prom queen no more, right? If it'll save you some money, just buy a few things at a time, wash'em a couple times so they smell like your mom's laundry, then pretend you borrowed'em off one of us. Give it a week or two and you won't care anymore and you'll still have lotsa hot outfits to go out dancin' and shit in."
Buffy stopped what she was doing and watched the dark haired Slayer rinse once more before heading back toward the locker room, her eyes following her lithe form for a moment before she jerked her eyes away with a blush. She resumed washing her hair, her hands moving on automatic pilot as she thought over her partner's words.
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Glancing at the jacket, then down at the ruined jeans she was wearing, Buffy grunted lightly, reluctantly admitting Faith had been right. She'd started with just a few things, a pair of jeans, a couple shirts, nothing much. After washing half the color out of them, she'd started wearing her 'new' outfits while slaying and, even though she hadn't wanted to admit it it(Faith's ego was big enough without her making it bigger), Faith had been right. She didn't get anywhere near as mad when her clothes were trashed and, as an added bonus, her mom had commented that she didn't seem to be spending as much on clothing anymore and that whatever Buffy was doing, to keep it up.
After that, Buffy remembered how she'd gone back to the thrift store and picked up several pairs of jeans and a dozen or more shirts. She'd only washed them a couple times that time before wearing them and even that had stopped soon after.
Shaking her head to dislodge this trip down memory lane, Buffy stored the weapons she'd pulled from the ruined jacket in the box she kept on the back porch for them, then let herself in the house. After washing her hands, she fixed herself a modest(for a Slayer) snack, she snagged a couple bottles of water and, she smirked a bit, a low fat yogurt cup, then headed for her room. Once there, she quickly inhaled her food, being careful as always to not let anyone see her really eat.
She'd forgotten once in the Dining Hall just a few weeks ago and had been embarrassed when some other girls started commented on how it appeared she was trying out for the class pig. She'd stopped eating and ran out immediately. Riley had followed her and finally convinced her to ignore the ones who'd harassed her, that they were just jealous that they had to work hard and starve themselves to stay just a little bit pudgy while Buffy herself could actually eat what she wanted and stay so beautiful without any work at all.
The Slayer smiled unconsciously as she remembered the tall boy's flattery. It had made her feel better, but she'd still been careful ever since to just eat a little whenever anyone else was around. Buffy frowned a little as she remembered how she and Faith used to hit the all night greasy spoons after a hard night's slaying. It had taken a while, but the brunette had finally gotten her to loosen up enough to admit how hungry she was most of the time. Again, Buffy smiled without realizing it as she looked back on the eating contests the two Slayers had indulged in, the only real winner being the restaurant when they paid the bill.
Buffy's mind slithered to a halt as she realized her thoughts had been full of times with Faith for the zillionth time that night. [Stupid hospital,] she thought. [This is all their fault.] Stubbornly, she intentionally filled her head with thoughts of classes and lectures and anything she could that didn't contain memories associated with a certain dark haired smart ass. Completing her evening ablutions, the blonde climbed into bed and settled in for some much needed sleep and, with any luck at all, Faith wouldn't intruded on her thoughts again.
[Argh!]
Buffy sat up quickly, punched her pillow into submission, then rolled over, fighting to get comfortable enough to sleep. Somewhere in between trying to not think about Faith and trying to will herself to sleep, Buffy finally slipped unconscious.
* * *
Premise: Buffy gets a call telling her that Faith is slipping away. She tells the hospital to call her when she's dead, but otherwise, she doesn't care. That night she has a Slayer dream and the 2 girls talk and thrash it out, but Faith still wants to check out. Buffy rushes to hospital in the middle of the night to stop her, yelling at her to not leave her. Faith finally listens and wakes up. At least, this is where it was going. After nearly a decade of trying to write more on this one, I'm offering it up for adoption.