I´ve got my eyes on you

Go to the airport to try to stop Ingrid? Never, ever, she doesn't do things like that (nor was she going to admit that the idea had crossed her mind briefly and she dismissed it just as quickly). She gave her the chance to say something, and she preferred to keep quiet, and she stressed that to Alexia who appears at the door of her apartment mid-morning.

So, Mapi prefers to arrive very early to training rather than do crazy things that lead to nothing good. And immediately returns the ticket to Istanbul because that was also completely ridiculous and she is afraid of being tempted to use it at any moment when she thinks about Ingrid and what could have been, and nostalgia strikes her.

The days go by, and nothing disturbs the quiet routine except those things that cannot be escaped.

-She, um... is she with that Turkish girl? -If Mapi had stopped snooping on social networks, she easily fell back into the vice again.

-Ask her.

-Oh, come on, Aita-Mapi begs.

-If you want to know, ask, it's not that complicated-Aitana doesn't seem like she's going to give any information and Mapi sighs angrily.

-Thanks for nothing, okay?

Uncontrollable jealousy continues to haunt her, and she can do nothing but try to push it away. Ingrid wouldn't do that, be with someone and keep seeing her; she thinks she knows her well enough to be sure, but the Norwegian team won the championship and the first thing she saw on screen was the heartfelt hug she gave to that girl Alexia knows so well, Serena or Zehra or whatever her name is. And she's not even that pretty.

And on top of everything, Mapi is very sure that Ingrid feels the same as her, she saw it, she felt it, and she waited for Ingrid to speak, after all, she is the one who cut off the casual agreement.

'You told her you didn't want a relationship, you told her you didn't want to get back together'

Alexia's words echo in her head. And something else too. Alexia added that she is just looking for excuses, like those meaningless rumors, to avoid talking frankly with Ingrid.

Maybe. She's scared.

Mmm, maybe it's just misunderstandings and poor communication that's driving them apart.

-Hey, Mapi, wait-Aitana runs breathless after her and Mapi stops-I didn't mean to sound harsh, I'm sorry.

-Okay. Sorry to corner you like this, the whole Ingrid thing only concerns me.

-And to all of us who want to see them well-Aitana smiles-she went to see you, you know? And you weren't there.

-She…? -Mapi blinks and frowns afterwards.

-Before returning to Istanbul, Esmee told me.

-Are you kidding.

-I already told you. We want to see them happy and without all that nonsense.

-You're making a soap opera out of this-the defender shakes her head, still processing-and what did she want?

-She'll tell you, right? I'm not a carrier pigeon either.

-You did quite well today-Mapi puts on a dazzling smile because there is some hope, and she leaves determined to send that text that was left as a simple draft. Maybe not everything is lost.

• ••••••

Despite winning a title, Ingrid feels incomplete, something is missing. The joy lasted only one night of celebration or a few hours; afterwards, reality is different. She is not being ungrateful, she loves what she does and where she does it, she loves trophies and feeling important, but sacrificing personal life for professional life does not always bring happiness.

'I wanted this, I chose it' is what he keeps repeating to herself.

She wanted glory, to advance her career, to make history or something like that. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter much.

Receiving congratulations from friends from her former club, only makes her miss what she left behind even more. She was fine in Barcelona, loved that life, and she ran away at the first opportunity, believing that what she wanted was elsewhere. She ran away from someone too.

And that someone sent her a simple text with few words but that meant more to her than all the rest.

They were in a back and forth, moving but not advancing, there was no direction or purpose. There were no words either and that was the main thing, they never talked about it, they just kept quiet about everything, put it aside and had sex as a method of escape.

Ingrid thinks about everything they've been through in just over a year without being able to pinpoint when something changed. She tries to remember the interactions, Mapi's gestures and words, the looks she gave her. Is she getting confused, lost between hope and actually liking a good fuck and something else? She can only speak for herself, knowing that she wants more.

Frido advised her to take risks even if it doesn't work out, to risk her heart when it could get hurt, the best decision in the whole world! And then she thinks about the hugs, the comfortable silences, the ice cream and Mapi knowing that she comforts her in sad moments, and it's silly, but it warmed her heart. Everything with Mapi does.

_Maria-I just found out today that you came to see me before returning to Turkey.

_Ingrid- Who was it?

_María-It doesn't matter, but tell me, what did you want? I know I left upset the night before, was it about that?

_Ingrid-Yes, about that and many other things.

_María- Will you tell me?

_Ingrid-It can't be because of a text.

She would like to do it through the screen because it is easier and he can hide later if it doesn't go well, but she is not that cowardly, she wants to look Mapi in the eyes to confess.

_Maria-Well, I guess I can wait.

Ingrid smiles and bites her lip as she doesn't let the unusual exchange end.

_Ingrid- Were you really going to come to Istanbul?

_Maria-Of course.

_Ingrid- Why?

_Maria-Because of you, it's obvious.

Obviously. Nothing seems to be the case between the two.

_Ingrid-And what happened to the ticket?

_Maria-I gave it back.

_ Ingrid- What a pity, I really wanted to show you the city if you wanted to visit me one day.

_María-You didn't respond at all when I suggested it.

_Ingrid-I was being stupid and scared.

_María-Fear of what?

_Ingrid-About you and whatever is between us.

_Maria-I'm scared too.

That Mapi openly confesses this must not be easy for her and gives her a ray of optimism.

_Ingrid-I'm sorry this isn't a chat on the phone. There's nothing to talk about here.

_María-Not me. That gives us something to look forward to.

_Ingrid- And to see each other?

_María-As chance always brings us together; at some point we will meet and maybe we will talk about it?

_Ingrid-I guess so.

She doesn't want it to be a coincidence, she wants it to come from within, for one of the two to take the first step; she is so afraid that she resists being herself, and that's why they are like this, coming and going without clarifying anything.

_Ingrid-I don't want to wait for something to bring us together like it always does, I want to see you, Mapi.

_María-Is that an invitation?

_Ingrid-Yes.

From the other side of her own phone, Mapi has a radiant expression of unbridled joy. They are finally heading in the right direction.

_María-I still have some matches left to play. I guess it could be during the Christmas break, but are you going to Norway? I'm going to my parents' house, and I can free up at the end of the year.

Well, that's 15 days away. Enough time to prepare.

_Ingrid-New Year's Eve sounds great! I guess sooner or later Barcelona always brings us together.

_Maria-I like that.

_Ingrid-Y Mapi…

_Maria- Yes?

_Ingrid- Can we talk from time to time here, if you want? The wait until the end of the month will seem eternal.

_María- I would like that, darling, yes, we can.

Text messages are not common, but they are there every now and then. Ingrid doesn't know what Mapi is thinking or what is going on in her head and she doesn't ask, she wants them to talk about it in person. She will let everything out, will be honest and to hell with it, if it goes well or if it goes badly, she will know that she gave everything...finally.

• ••••••

It was very different when they met without planning it because obviously, they didn't know and there wasn't the pressure and tension of knowing that they had arranged to see each other, that they both longed for it or that they would have a big talk to put everything that was happening to them into perspective. And above all, knowing that it was planned is knowing that they are going to reveal themselves to each other. It's like exposing yourself.

The first time they got together, they both acted flirtatious and confident; after that, everything flowed naturally; when Mapi approached Ingrid at the club after leaving her, the Spanish defender was extremely confident, feeling like a winner; and then, they moved on to calmer and somewhat helpless phases. All those barriers they built began to falter.

They chatted a little more via text messages, greeting each other for Christmas and asking about each other's families.

Now Ingrid is almost going crazy because she has a coffee date with Mapi in less than an hour-a neutral place-and she hasn't decided what to wear. And certainly, talking to Frido on a video call doesn't solve anything. She shows her various outfits, and the Swede just puckers her mouth without helping her, the eyes shrewd and amused.

-Why are you so worried about your outfit? As far as I know, the last thing you two do is keep your clothes on whenever you see each other.

-Oh, Frido, I hate you-Ingrid gives her the middle finger-and besides, today is a date. We're going to talk and, I don't know... it's not for fucking, so I need to look good.

-Yes, something that says, 'take me, Mapi León, do what you want with me and don't leave me'.

-I should have called Esmee-Ingrid hums, finally deciding what to wear.

-As if I wasn't going to tell you the same thing.

-I'll call you later.

-Ingrid-Frido becomes serious-I'm so glad you're going to talk to her. Tell her everything you feel.

-Thank you, min vän-Ingrid sends him a kiss, full of gratitude for those simple words, and hangs up.

She sighs deeply and proceeds to get changed, anxious and ready to see Mapi.

-Do you think she can stand me up?

-Definitely. I would.

-Ale! -Mapi exclaims exasperatedly.

-What? It's true, I would stand you up and then call you to tell you that this is what you deserve for acting ridiculously all this time-Alexia shakes her head from side to side, pleased by her own deduction-or maybe I wouldn't even call you, just as a warning.

-I hope Ingrid doesn't jump to those conclusions that don't do me any favors-Mapi plays with the buttons on her coat and paces back and forth around her apartment-I'm nervous. This is killing me.

The defender pours herself a glass of water, which she drinks in one go, and Alexia doesn't even flinch when she takes another.

-I would tell you that you need something stronger, but you can't drink alcohol right now-the midfielder takes the glass from her-you're going to spend time in the bathroom, let that go.

-I'm leaving now, I don't mind arriving very early.

-Okay, let it out and let everything flow-Alexia takes a deep breath so that Mapi imitates her and calms down, and Mapi only takes a shaky breath before letting herself fall into the chair.

-This is going to go so badly, I don't even know what to say, how to start.

-What happened to that whole 'I've had relationships, girlfriends, I know all about this' thing and all that confidence and experience you show with women, and now you don't even know what to say to the poor girl?

-I guess it's fair that you make fun of me for putting up with me for so long, but not now, Ale.

-Look, Mapi, today I left my family all afternoon to come support you, so take courage, go see Ingrid, kiss her well and tell her that you love her, okay?

-Okay-Mapi nods and swallows hard because it seems like quite a challenge.

Ingrid spots Mapi as soon as she enters the busy café. Is in the most secluded corner and as beautiful as ever. She raises her hand in greeting and gives her signature half-smile.

As she gets closer, the black-haired can see the Spanish woman is nervous and that makes her feel a little calmer; they greet each other a little awkwardly and there doesn't seem to be anything that will lighten up the situation, maybe a coffee and the long-awaited chat.

-Isn't there a hug? -Mapi asks almost shyly.

Ingrid doesn't even hesitate as she takes another step and their bodies intertwine. No matter how many layers of clothing they wear (especially Mapi), they feel each other's warmth and how their bones and muscles collide with each other until they melt. Mapi sighs. Ingrid sighs contentedly too and closes her eyes.

-I missed you, Ingrid.

-Me too, kjære.

She feels Mapi laugh softly with the head tucked into her neck, and then pull away.

-I don't know any Norwegian, that's cheating.

-It means 'darling' o ‘cariño’-Ingrid combs some hair behind her ear and looks at the Spanish girl who, in turn, looks at her with a different glow. Or maybe the glow has already been there before, it's sure to be if she thinks about it, but she refused to notice it.

-Well, I'm sure you already know the similar expressions in Spanish, I'll have to think of something different.

A simple answer and Ingrid's heart is already tickling. And there it is. The nerves and doubts slowly dissipating.

Ingrid relaxes and sits down, letting Mapi order the coffee and snacks, and she doesn't miss a single movement, just like that day in Rome. She is captivating with such an electric energy that unexpectedly brings calm and peace. She no longer panics looking at her and thinking about all that because she can finally be in tune with herself, the heart and brain. She only longs to not be alone or for Mapi to want to throw herself at her despite everything that has happened between them.

-How is your finger?

-Perfect. It healed very well, lacks a bit of mobility, but I will be able to start playing in January.

-That sounds great. I read that you can use one of those bandages on two fingers to make it more comfortable.

-So that's what you read?

-Uh-huh-the heat rises to Mapi's cheeks, but doesn't see it as so bad to start letting it all out-I already told you, I like a girl who plays volleyball so I did some research.

-And what are you waiting for to declare yourself?

-I don't know, those things are not easy to say.

-They are if the other party reciprocates-Ingrid leans over the table and smiles, enjoying the exchange.

-That's the question...

-What? And you're just going to give up without asking?

-Ingrid.

-Mapi-the black-haired girl imitates the tone.

Mapi hides behind the cup and drinks while looking out the window. The light drizzle was turning into heavy rain and she unconsciously shivers as if the cold outside could reach her. She notices that Ingrid never took her eyes off her and returns them.

-What do you usually do in Istanbul?

-Why?

-I don't know, I'd like to know. I asked you once and you didn't want to tell me-the defender shrugs her shoulders-I don't know the city or the country or anything like that culture, so I can find out through you. Is it nice to live there?

-I don't like Istanbul-Ingrid declares, and Mapi's eyes widen at the unexpectedness of that confession.

She refrains from saying: you left me for Turkey.

-Why not?

-It's not Barcelona-Ingrid clicks her tongue because that sounds ungrateful-I like being able to progress in my career there but I'm not used to it yet, it's all so different, and it's like I can't find my place or a way to adapt. I've been trying for almost a year now, and I'm still having trouble.

-I understand, maybe…I was just thinking that I love Barcelona, even if it rains and is cold like now, I wouldn't change it for anything. But I guess that if one day I have to play football far from here, I would have to leave that too, and that's something I understood recently. Why you left and prioritized your profession. Your profession is important to you as mine is to me. But you... you didn't even ask me, Ingrid, you didn't take into account my feelings or what I thought about it. You just... you told me at the last minute, you left it for the last minute as if it didn't mean anything to me or to you.

Feelings. Mapi said the forbidden word between them. And apparently, they were going to talk about it without further delay.

-Mapi, we had something that wasn't serious-Ingrid refutes shaking her head-how...?

She stops and grips the coffee tightly to gather her thoughts.

-I didn't know how to tell you, and besides, I assumed you wouldn't care too much, you never gave any indication of anything.

-Yes, I think we are very good at hiding things-Mapi hisses.

Ingrid looks around, people laughing and talking, drinking and eating, the hustle and bustle distracting her, and it doesn't seem like the best place to talk about important issues after all. But she looks ahead and Mapi has a calm and patient expression; she doesn't have to keep things in anymore, it's time to let it all out after months and months that have passed between disagreements and silences.

-I thought it would be unfair to keep something at a distance for both you and me; and besides, my feelings were new and I assumed they would pass-murmurs Ingrid-and yes, I was afraid of the distance, of asking you and maybe you would say yes, that the casual thing could continue; and falling in love more than I already was and it not working, both because we were far away and because my feelings were not reciprocated in that way. I didn't want to go through all that pain again!

Mapi considers the statement, scratching her nail cuticles like she does when she thinks hard about something.

-But it hurt me to have to find out through Aitana and not from you until the very end.

-How was I supposed to know? And then I told you and… you kept telling me that it was okay, that it was nice while it lasted and all that stuff.

-I was protecting myself, okay, you said you didn't want to continue at a distance, and it wasn't even a relationship per se. What did you want me to say? To beg you to try it? -Mapi says and leans back in her chair, still mumbling - and I have to say that I had no fucking idea what was happening to me, I didn't know what I was feeling, and I thought it was confusion because of... because of good sex. You know, when we started, I thought I would lose interest after a while but it didn't happen, and we started to get to know each other better; one day you come and tell me you're going to Turkey and that's it. I got confused, okay? I was stunned and a little confused, I thought it was because you were the one who left me and not the other way around, I associated it with... spite or something equally ridiculous. I put everything else aside because it was impossible for me to be in love and much less to continue being in love when there was nothing left, you were far away, and we didn't see each other.

Mapi takes a deep breath after such a confession and Ingrid is content to stare at her, slowly processing what she just heard. It wasn't all down to poor communication, but part of the confusion between the two was due to that.

-That night at your friend's house, before you returned to Istanbul-says Mapi- you had many opportunities to say something, and you didn't.

-You don't either, you see, it's not easy? I was expecting you to say something, you were expecting it from me, and I think it's very difficult to open up to someone who doesn't show any interest or give any indication of any feelings.

If Mapi were angry or held a grudge, she would tell her that she was looking after her and supporting her because she loves her, that this is her way of showing love, without words, just with the presence. But Ingrid has to realize this on her own.

-I told you I missed you months ago. Did you ever think about why I said that?

-I thought about it, of course I wanted to know! And I was going to answer the same and confess everything to you- Ingrid vehemently denies-and I didn't because I was afraid of your reaction. How was I going to tell you when you asked me for something casual? What if you were just referring to the fact that you missed sex?

-I didn't. And I didn't ask you, we agreed-Mapi says without malice or accusation-and yes, I guess it's fair to think that I didn't want anything else. But... I wanted it.

- Is that why you refused to let us take it up again when I suggested it in Rome? Did I hurt you by asking you to?

-Yes, Ingrid.

-It's not what I wanted to ask you, but I was terrified of thinking that you would laugh or make fun of my feelings.

-Never.

-You said you wanted it, right?

Faced with Mapi's silence and her teeth buried in her lower lip as if she were having trouble answering, Ingrid takes a risk.

-I still want it. All of it. Or whatever you're willing to give me.

-Really?

-Really. I think we've been miserable enough, don't you think? -Ingrid runs a hand over the table and seeks Mapi's touch, who doesn't shy away from her. The Spanish woman looks at her two hands together and the corners of her lips barely rise -Maybe we could find a way, I don't know...

-Maybe-Mapi nods and shakes her head-what idiots we are, huh.

-Let's try to stop being that now.

Smile. Mapi does too.

They've wasted too much time to be angry or resentful with each other.

They finish their respective coffees, stealing glances at each other, and time passes at a calm speed around them. Better. More time for them.

Mapi puts her indecision aside and asks after a short debate in her mind.

-Do you fancy another coffee or do you want to go out?

-I fancy another coffee, and I want to get out of here.

-Always so practical-Mapi murmurs as she takes care of paying and grabbing the raincoat from the chair.

The rain has not stopped or diminished in intensity. Mapi puts her hood up and looks over her shoulder. Ingrid is about to open the umbrella.

-Do we share? -asks the Norwegian.

-Mmm-Mapi shrugs her shoulders and speaks in a funny tone-if you are one of those who can't stand a little rain like this, we'll get under that.

-I was born and raised in Norway, this rain doesn't stop me. I actually brought the umbrella thinking of you.

-Oh yeah?

-Yes, you don't like the cold, I thought rain and cold either.

-It's a strong combination, but I can overlook it today.

-Okay, let's walk aimlessly in the rain, how romantic! -Ingrid puts away the umbrella, puts her hood up too, and goes out.

-Romantic-Mapi repeats, although she sensed the irony-there is nothing romantic about it, nor did I know you were one of those women…

Ingrid stops, a few drops falling on her face without her caring and a very inquisitive eyebrow raised.

-Those women? -The green eyes shine, barely hidden by the thick dark eyelashes.

-They see romance in cold rain. I guess you also like flowers, chocolates, candlelit dinners.

-Well, I'm a girl with cliché tastes, what can I say? Although I also like massages, eating something junk while watching a comedy or having a coffee with the girl I like-she winks-they're called guilty pleasures.

-Are all those suggestions?

-I was just listing the things that make me romantic, according to you.

-It's a shame-Mapi clicks her tongue-if they were suggestions...

Ingrid stops again and they stand face to face in the middle of the sidewalk as the fire spreads toward them.

-What?

-Nothing-is the innocent tone that Mapi uses-tell me something, can I hold your hand?

Ingrid responds by doing it herself and it feels perfect.

-Well, tell me something else-the Spanish woman continues walking again-what do you want to do now?

-Drink more coffee and I don't know, snuggle under a blanket to sort out what still needs to be sorted out.

-That's a great idea-Mapi smiles-but will you come with me? I mean like... to have coffee, and I don't know... stay. I don't know how many days you're staying or where, but if you don't think badly of me for suggesting it, I'd like to invite you to stay. I mean, bring your stuff, we can talk, cook, go out wherever you want, do... - Ingrid's finger on Mapi's lips stops the tirade that was about to last forever.

-Everything sounds good, and I don't think badly of you-Ingrid's very soft laugh can be heard over the constant patter of raindrops against their coats and the sidewalk-I mean, I don't know where we're going or what we expect from each other, but I'd like to make the most of all the time with you.

-I don't want to waste a single minute or second either. I've missed you too much.

Saying that, in addition to everything she said before, felt extraordinarily liberating to Mapi, like a heavy backpack being lifted off her back. It took a while, and she was getting there.

-I like that you say things like that-Ingrid, delighted, leans slightly and kisses the back of her hand without taking the eyes off her.

That uneven heartbeat again. And after that, the frantic gallop of her heart, desperate at the sight.

-It was your eyes, that day in the parking lot-Mapi murmurs with a vague memory-they bewitched me.

-What are you talking about? -The two green orbs now look curious but equally attractive and striking.

-I don't know when I fell in love with you, but I know that your eyes are largely to blame-says Mapi and her own eyes open wide as soon as she realizes what she just said.

Ingrid snorts a pleased laugh and leans in close enough that their breaths mingle, raising her free hand to cup Mapi's cold, damp face. She could say something like 'is it time for confessions?' or 'it took you a while to come to that conclusion' but there's no point in mocking her when she's been waiting to hear that for who knows how long, and above all, when her own feelings have such a reward.

The sound that comes out of Mapi's throat is one of surprise and pleasure at the tender exploration that Ingrid begins, as if it were the first time their mouths have met, and it has never been so easy and delicious to kiss someone. Ingrid gasps because Mapi just abandons herself to her and lets her do it without struggling too much as she usually does, letting the tip of her inquisitive tongue search every silky corner voraciously and at the same time without much haste. She kissed her again and again and Mapi let her do it again and again.

And the rain kept falling and seeping through the hoods of the coats. But not even the infamous cold that Mapi was feeling could steal the magic of the moment.

-I think I can see the romantic side of rain from now on-Mapi says breathlessly, resting her forehead on the Norwegian's chest, whose heart is just as wild.

-Say it again-Ingrid asks.

-I'm in love with you, cariño.

-I must have done something right to deserve this-Ingrid smiles dazzlingly-I'm in love with you too.

-Well, part of the conflict is solved-Mapi sighs, absorbing everything from Ingrid and her sweet words-how good that we are so mature.

Ingrid believes that there is still a long way to go, but it is something.

-I don't know if you'd call us mature after all the way around, we've been through all this.

-You just say yes.

-Okay, Mapi León, we are so mature-the Norwegian sighs-I wouldn't like us to get sick, so...

-Well, come on, a big cup of coffee is waiting for you.

They search for Ingrid's belongings at Esmee's house-there are lots of kisses in the elevator-and return to Mapi's apartment-more kisses are stolen in the parking lot, the elevator and the hallway before entering-and Ingrid settles in with unusual comfort. Well, she's going to be there for four days. She was rather optimistic about her and Mapi because otherwise she would have brought luggage for just one day, especially considering that neither Frido nor Esmee nor Aitana are in the city.

-Maybe you'll let me make dinner later? -Mapi asks timidly-my cooking skills aren't legendary, but I can handle myself.

-I'm sure you cook very well-Ingrid approaches where Mapi is preparing more coffee for her and although she wants to turn her around and continue kissing her for hours, she understands that there are still things to talk about- so...

And she stops to clear her throat, Mapi looks at her, smiles and she is so beautiful that it takes her breath away.

-You said?

-I... I wonder if this will work? I mean, I don't know what this is or what you want, but I told you a while ago that I'm willing to take whatever you want to give me-she sounded so pathetically pleading that she curses herself-whether we try something serious like... a long distance relationship or we continue like this-the words come out in a rush and she unexpectedly feels the familiar itch behind her eyes-or we don't try anything at all.

Mapi has a thoughtful expression, leaves the jug of milk to froth to one side and takes one of the Norwegian's hands to feel the contact with it.

It's all about taking risks without knowing how it's going to turn out, and she's going to do it, so what.

-Do you know why I said no to you in Rome, to get back together? I wanted it all, I realized a little too late that I wanted to have it all with you, not just a few stolen moments or planned out over the months, like what happened last year. It's true that when you cut everything off to go to Turkey, it hurt me and I didn't understand it, and very slowly I was able to understand it, and you come to ask me for that as if it didn't matter to you more than... fucking, and I thought you didn't feel the same way about me, that the feelings were only on my side.

-I'd rather have that than nothing-Ingrid hisses in relief and takes another step closer to the Spanish woman-and it's not too late, you know? We can have everything.

-Yeah.

The thing is, they can't keep their hands off each other. It's nothing new; they've never been able to, but they can't even stop kissing, touching each other continuously or tangling their limbs together to form one.

Mapi takes Ingrid firmly by the hips, corners her against the kitchen counter and stays between her legs savoring her mouth without the desire to do so passing at any moment.

Ingrid's fingers curl and then tangle in Mapi's hair to pull her much closer if that's even possible.

Mapi says words that the Norwegian does not fully understand because she never opens her lips.

-I want everything, everything, everything-is the desperate growl-I want everything with you and it doesn't matter how. We can make it work, okay?

-Yes, yes… -Mapi's mouth is usually so persuasive that Ingrid can lose any thread of idea or thought that is even halfway coherent.

-Okay, we already solved something else-gasps Mapi-now do we continue with this or…?

It doesn't make any difference to lie and say that she doesn't want to. Above all, she senses Mapi's desire, the same one that the Spanish woman must see in her eyes. It's true that their relationship began in bed and continued like that for a whole year and more, but they crossed the boundaries too many times for them not to know that it's more than sex. Maybe it always was if they analyze it carefully.

Ingrid doesn't hesitate for a second, but before continuing, she takes Mapi´s face in both hands, framing it, and runs her thumbs along the entire contour, tracing it, over the eyebrows, the nose, the lips swollen from so many kisses, the pointed chin and the sharp, firm jaw. She should have known that it was impossible not to involve feelings just by looking at those amber eyes. However, even though she wants to say it, the words get stuck and tied in a knot as they usually do.

-You are so beautiful-she whispers reverently instead.

Mapi shakes her head, smiling embarrassedly. Praise doesn't sit well with her, and coming from Ingrid, it's even worse.

-Very, very beautiful-the Norwegian continues, kissing her slowly.

Mapi's skin was hot under her touch. Her fingers went back and forth in every direction, searching and feeling, while Ingrid filled her nose with her scent and her mouth with her taste, wandering over the hardened breasts, the flat belly and far below. Mapi was so ready that it took her just a couple of minutes to moan, clench and cum; and then go back for more, determined not to let Ingrid's vanity escalate too much.

Ingrid's breathing was fast, irregular, agitated; the tip of each finger tingled with anticipation. That blessed tongue was wreaking havoc on the little self-control she still had, and she couldn't stop it much longer. The touch was just right, and she melted with a shiver and a gasp of exquisite pleasure.

-My love-Mapi whispers, face down and half asleep, while Ingrid is now slowly tracing the shape of her body with her fingers up and down.

There was the first hint of love.

-Min kjærlighet-Ingrid returns, leaving a kiss between the shoulder blades, feeling the shudder that shakes Mapi.

Mapi tries to repeat the same words, failing noticeably with her tongue tying, until she finally gives up, and the two laugh. They remain silent. It's nice to hear the rain hitting the windows.

-How do you say I love you in Norwegian? -The Spanish woman has her eyes closed and her usual sideways smile adorning an expression of pure delight because the caresses have not subsided.

It's fair to say that Ingrid's heart was a little erratic for a couple of seconds.

-It is said 'jeg elsker deg'.

As Mapi doesn't respond, Ingrid thinks she fell asleep, until she hears her sigh and sees her turn around to face her.

-It's going to take me a while to learn it, but I can say it in Spanish in the meantime-she gives her a short kiss-I love you. And I love you very much, just as a warning.

-Jeg elsker deg-Ingrid laughs happily and lightly against Mapi's mouth-I love you.

They hug each other laughing and roll around in bed with Mapi on top. And they stay like that for a few minutes.

-I don't think there's much more to fix, then.

-Mmm- the black-haired answers, lost in the soft, muscular neck, eliciting a high-pitched moan.

-If…we continue like this, there will be no dinner or…anything.

-Maybe it's my intention to keep you in bed.

-Not that I'm going to complain, really.

A round of kisses later, they get up. It's been dark for a couple of hours and the rain seems to have lessened in intensity. Ingrid looks out the balcony, not really seeing anything and not wanting to be out there. Inside, it's the heat and Mapi. Just Mapi is enough for her.

The Spanish woman accepts some help with dinner, they open a white wine and toast to the beginning of something at the start of a new year.

Ingrid can't help but remember the last time she was sitting there with a glass of wine. The amount of questions she wanted to ask, the things she longed to know. She shakes her head away because there's no point in it anymore. It's over and she has to focus on what she's starting with Mapi.

But Mapi sees the gesture and looks at her questioningly, waiting for her to say something.

-It's nothing-she dismisses.

-Everything's fine?

-Yeah.

-You were very thoughtful…

-It's a trivial thing-she denies, embarrassed.

Mapi continues to see her in a way that tries to figure out if she really is.

-One time, talking to Esmee, she mentioned to me that you... well, I asked her about you if I have to be honest, and she said that you were dating a model, something like serious-Ingrid murmurs-it didn't sit well with me because... you hadn't wanted anything formal with me and suddenly...

-I know what you mean, but it wasn't like that-Mapi answers-I just wanted…to leave you behind even though in the end I couldn't, but it wasn't a relationship per se, okay? And it ended very quickly.

-Good-she feels calmer and the jealousy goes away-I know you talked to Aita. And you asked her something.

-I knew that little busybody couldn't keep quiet about anything.

-Don't be mad at her-Ingrid combs some of her unruly locks-and no, if you want to know, I am not and have not been with anyone, much less a teammate.

-There's no need…

-I know, but I just want you to know, that's all. I don't want anything left floating between us.

Mapi smiles and leaves a kiss on his cheek. And whispers very softly the newly discovered soft words.

They chat between the sheets as they did before. Domesticity is calm and as comfortable as if they had been practicing it for a long time.

-Are you sure you want to get into something remote? It's not easy.

-Let's try.

-You can think about it, you know? -Above all, Ingrid wants to give her options.

-I just don't want to think too much or be reasonable, to hell with distance! I'm serious.

-I wouldn't like this to separate us later.

-Don't make distance a determining factor to separate us, not again, please-Mapi begs-you're making it seem like only I should decide based on that, and you?

-I want to be with you-says Ingrid simply-and I don't like the idea of being far away, but I want to try.

-Me too, okay? So, it's decided-Mapi kisses the tip of Ingrid's nose without taking her eyes off her-we'll see each other as long as our schedules allow it, and if they don't, I'll send everything to hell and come see you.

-So, you're going to Istanbul now?

-Wherever you are, my love-Mapi responds sweetly-and look, we always meet in Barcelona, so we'll be fine.

-You make it look so easy…

-I love you and you love me, that's enough for me. I know you've been through this once and that's why you're so hesitant, but I think we can both do it - an evaluative pause -we're young, Ingrid, and we're just starting this, but a career doesn't last a lifetime, and... and are we going to let distance separate us when we can have a certain amount of time after we retire?

There is so much sincerity and determination in the expression and the amber eyes that Ingrid believes it. She sighs and nods, letting out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

-God! How come you're so beautiful, perfect, and know what to say? -Ingrid takes her face and kisses her decisively.

-I'm not perfect-Mapi snorts.

-I know.

Ingrid curls up on the middle of Mapi's body and Mapi buries her fingers in her silky hair and gently massages.

-I'm sleepy but I don't want to fall asleep- the Norwegian murmurs.

-We'll still be here in the morning. Together.

-How do you know…?

-Because we've been through it many times-says Mapi with a slight shrug-but tomorrow we'll wake up, I'll give you lots of kisses, we'll make breakfast and then, whatever comes up.

-I like that plan.

-And maybe tomorrow we'll also contact one of our friends because it's likely that one of them will come knocking on the door.

-Yes, you're right.

-You'll soon discover that I usually have it-Mapi answers smugly.

-I think you need some lessons in humility-Ingrid hums as she stands up.

-I thought you were falling asleep.

-Mmm. I was.

Ingrid first stretches her upper lip between her teeth, then does the same with the lower one. She smiles mischievously, but her expression changes instantly.

-What am I going to do when I feel like kissing you and I can't? -she whispers more to herself.

-Call me and I'll come running to give them to you-is Mapi's foolish response.

-See, how could I not fall in love with you?

-Do you realize that you yourself feed my arrogance?

-I can live with that.

They return to the previous position, Mapi kisses her on the temple and barely a minute later she falls asleep.

Ingrid is sleepy. She yawns, looking at the Spanish woman, but she can't close her eyes yet, as if something is telling her that nothing is real. Her restless and treacherous brain doesn't let her enjoy this moment.

Then he goes over everything that happened that day, the talks, the confessions, the love. And she goes back further and regrets having been so stupid not to trust that Mapi reciprocated her feelings.

She takes the defender's hand and kisses it sweetly and lovingly.

-I love you-whispers.

And I could almost swear that Mapi is listening because the corners of her lips stretch imperceptibly.

She anyone who will listen know , but she's content with Mapi knowing, that's enough for her. She plans a thousand things for the two of them, everything they've been missing, making up for lost time even though it's frankly impossible.

Ingrid closes her eyes and finally gives herself over to sleep, knowing that Mapi will still be there when she wakes up.