Dancing around this
Starting in the middle of the season in another country, league and team, killed Ingrid slowly; they wanted her in the summer but decided to sign her in the winter to make up for a sensitive loss. Everything demands her in a way that she was never demanded before, and she has little time, but she shows all her potential and hopes to be able to contribute to the team and help in the league, in the cups they participate in and also in the CEV Champions League.
She was still having a bit of trouble adjusting to her new life in a country so different from the ones she was used to, and she was also having a hard time opening up to her mates, who are friendly but far from what she was like in Barcelona, and she misses absolutely everything. She talks to Esmee and Frido every day and knows everything that happens there, and it's like having a kind of connection with her old life.
Missing Mapi was not in her plans, well, not in her brain's plans because the heart sometimes has its own commands; but she missed her a lot at first, so much that she slept hugging that sweatshirt that she never gave back to her; now, several months later, the matter calmed down and her heart understood that she had to move on. Or so she tells herself.
It wasn't in her plans to run into her on her fleeting visit to the city days before her birthday, even though she secretly hoped for it (and told Aitana to mention it casually around Mapi); she had nothing to say to Mapi, she couldn't get in touch either when that's exactly what led her to break off the relationship: that she hated the thought of having a few hours with Mapi every two or three months; but there they were, as if it was hard for them to be apart, having a great night like those they used to have and then just acting indifferent without a single message. Knowing that it's better this way doesn't make it any easier.
Feelings should never get in the way of something casual.
Esmee telling her that Mapi has been seen very close to a stunning model and that the rumors speak of a relationship seems like a bad joke. There is a little voice in the back of Ingrid's head that says "why not with me and with another one?" And it is the worst feeling. It is true that at first, she was not interested and Mapi neither.
Maybe it's because she did with another woman and not with her, because she didn't have enough time, went to another country and prioritized her professional career before anything else, discarding everything; and also because Mapi said from the beginning that she wasn't looking for a relationship. Not with her. So, are there any guilty parties? Are both guilty or neither?
Ingrid then forces herself to focus on the choice she made.
And sometimes she gets a little distracted. It's fair to say that she watched the Champions League final that Mapi and Barcelona lost; and she wore the shirt with the four printed on the back, and even though wanted to say something, she kept quiet and kept the message that was ready to be sent.
They are not the type to write or talk about the good or the bad. They fucked and that was it.
But a few days later she calls Mapi without thinking twice. Aitana told her that she was very upset and blamed herself.
Mapi didn't even manage to hide her surprise and then they simply chatted for a few minutes about the loss and the disappointment, about the poorly positioned defense and the non-existent superiority, and although Ingrid didn't fully understand it, she supported her from the other side offering an attentive and foreign ear that allowed her an escape; it was better to talk about that than about more personal and intimate matters.
They no longer had anything at all to wonder about in their daily lives; although they did have something so real that there was comfort beyond it all.
- ••••••
-If you hold that phone any tighter, it's going to explode in your face.
-Go bother someone else, will you? -Mapi frowns at Alexia for a second and returns her attention to her phone-get a girlfriend or something to distract yourself.
-It's easier to mess with you- Alexia says, silently approaching behind Mapi moments later to look over her shoulder.
Alexia whistles mockingly and shakes her head.
-Wow, I didn't know you were addicted to Tik Tok.
-Jódete-Mapi quickly hides the device even though it's too late and tries to act normal-can you remind me why we're friends, please?
-I am the voice of your conscience that you more or less listen to.
Mapi has red cheeks and her eyes looking at the floor because her best friend caught her red-handed.
-Since when do you follow Ingrid Engen on social media?
-I don't...mmm, you know-Mapi clears her throat casually-I was here and I saw these videos of her with that Turkish girl. There are loads of pictures of them together, with that very famous player...I think her name is Sara or Serena or something like that.
The fact that she deliberately wants to play dumb about the whole thing is that Alexia always finds out everything because she knows her too well.
-Do you mean Zehra Günes?
-I…you…do you know her?
-Of course-Alexia smiles thinking about tormenting Mapi a little-a great athlete, gorgeous to tell the truth and how tall she is! She really impressed me.
-And how do you know her? -Mapi pretends to be fixing her cuticles absentmindedly.
-We met at a Nike event in London last year, or was it in New York? It doesn't matter, the fact is that she's so beautiful, cute and so attentive, we chatted a bit, just the kind of girl that makes anyone sigh-Alexia continues to wind Mapi up- so you think that she and Ingrid...?
-I don't think anything, I don't care-Mapi quickly denies-it appeared right here, that's all, I wasn't even looking.
-Yeah, yeah, sure. And I suck my thumb…
-I don't need to know that.
-Mapi…
-You don't think that after all these months I still think about her? -the defender snorts-please, that's more than past.
If only it were easy to believe your own words.
Ingrid called her a few weeks ago. It was one of the most unexpected things that could have ever happened to her. A simple phone call that organized the chaos in her mind for ten minutes and took her away from the guilt of the defeat. They didn't talk about each other at all, it was more of a consolation from athlete to athlete, but it was everything. She didn't tell the Norwegian and maybe she never was going to, but it was everything. A balm on a latent wound.
-Don't pay attention to social media, it doesn't say anything about us-Alexia murmurs, determined not to bother Mapi any further.
-I don't do it.
-Mapi, you were literally crushing your phone just now.
-Ingrid and I were paired up long before... before you know what -Mapi abruptly cuts off and shakes her head as if pushing away something imaginary- it doesn't matter, she's free and so am I.
Sometimes the media and social media lie and make wrong assumptions about everything, but they talked about her and Ingrid, and they were never wrong about it, why would it be any different now with that teammate of Ingrid?
And being jealous was never in her plans, thinking that Ingrid could be with someone formally or informally, neither
-Is there something you want to talk about? Because you can do it- Alexia's tone became softer just looking at Mapi's almost helpless attitude.
'No, I can't,' is all Mapi thinks over and over again.
- ••••••
Ingrid finished a good season with a great first half. There were no titles, but they would come later.
She goes to Barcelona after spending a few days in Norway and a couple of weeks in Ibiza; and in Barcelona she meets her parents and siblings again.
She had invitations to Paris and to support many of her teammates competing with Turkey, but didn't feel like it so she visited her hometown and then, returning to the Spanish city always feels good, like being at home.
She reluctantly and with little conviction agrees to go with Frido to one of the women's football friendlies. Mapi didn't want her in a match when she asked back in April (perhaps returning her own blows) and she swears that accepts in order to see Aitana and ask her how she is after that tough elimination with Spain, it's not as if she were going to see Mapi, that's in the past, now she's sure.
And if she sometimes remembers part of their encounters, it is because Mapi knew how to please her beyond her imagination, something she has not yet found in another woman. But the feelings that were beginning to emerge have undoubtedly gone or are going a little slower than usual, that cannot be fed by itself.
But Ingrid can't help but be excited to see her, even from a distance. And just like she did the first time saw her play, she finds it hard to take her eyes off the defender. She’s focused and fierceness, but at times she's also tender and delicate. She combines all of that into an overwhelming personality.
-They say she's not with that model anymore-Frido clears her throat suspiciously.
-Who are you talking about?
-Oh, come on, please! -Frido looks at her over the sunglasses, clearly unimpressed by her act of indifference.
-I guess Mapi.
-Who else-the blonde continues speaking in a low tone-so it seems that she is single, if she was really with someone.
-I'm not surprised, she never lasts long with any woman-Ingrid answers without looking affected.
-Maybe because she has the eyes on someone else.
-I certainly do, in many.
Frido shakes the head and looks ahead. Ingrid's parents are one row down, along with Aitana, who doesn't play, just like none of the other players who went to the Olympics; and they turn around to chat and ask about each player.
Ingrid refrains from pointing too many fingers at Mapi, otherwise she might blurt out something embarrassing like “that little defender over there is the one who gave me the best orgasms of my life” or even worse “I think I was falling in love with her but going to Turkey was the right decision for my career.”
She´s sure no one would take it well.
-Ingrid, how are you?
-Hey, Mapi.
The moment is a little awkward. They try to act normal, and it doesn't work. They look at each other for a few seconds in a subtle recognition that only the two of them understand. Mapi looks tense.
-Taking advantage of the holidays? -the Spanish woman scratches the back of her neck as she always does when she thinks, or when she is a little nervous.
-Yes, you? I guess you're looking forward to starting the season soon.
-Ready as always.
-I don't doubt it.
-Yeah, well, it was good to see you-Mapi continues down the tunnel to the locker rooms and Frido raises the eyebrows while her mouth forms a tense line.
-What was that? -Aitana wants to know- "looking forward to starting the season?" huh? "I don't doubt it?"
- 'It was good to see you" -Frido imitates Mapi in a high-pitched voice- even you don't believe it.
Not even Ingrid knows exactly what that was. As if they didn't know each other and hadn't fucked each other non-stop all night a few months before or hadn't done it for so long before that.
As if that call in which she tried to console the defender and listen to her talk about the guilt for her mistakes in the final had never happened, nor had there been any kind of consolation, sweetness and affection through a mobile device.
Ingrid stands there with a strange feeling in her stomach and the center of her chest.
She lets the days go by, bordering on indecision, until she takes a chance on the last night. Her parents have already left, and she only wants to see one person before returning, assuming Mapi is home. And there she goes. It's foolish and what does it matter.
It seems that they will always be in line with the last nights. In what could have been, and they did not let it be.
Mapi opens the door and doesn't look surprised. Knowing that she was expecting her and, luckily for Ingrid, maybe she was hoping for it too, is more than he's had in a long time.
-I brought wine-is all Ingrid says raising the bottle and Mapi lets her in.
-To remember old times? -more than mocking, the tone seems harsh.
-To create some new memories, Maria.
The wine is left forgotten on the kitchen counter.
Ingrid grabs Mapi by the hips and lifts her up with unusual ease, crashing against a wall, and they stay there for a while between kisses, bites and caresses over their clothes that do not completely satisfy the overwhelming desire that overwhelms them. Mapi has her legs wrapped around Ingrid and seems not to want to let go; and the worst thing is what she says next, completely unexpected:
-I missed you so much, Ingrid.
She blurts it out like someone blurting out sweet words when they're full of them, as if she means each one of them sincerely. And it's almost certain that she didn't expect to confess such a thing because she stands there with a confused expression for a few seconds, paralyzed before Ingrid.
'I missed you so much' -in what sense? The Norwegian wants to know.
Ingrid only acts, she can't answer anything that compromises her, confess that she thought about her for days and nights, scrunching up a sweatshirt in her hands that no longer smells of the Spanish woman's musk and wanting to hear her voice and hear from her; so instead of answering, she devotes herself to the task of leading them both to the room she knows by heart and kissing, licking, marking and feeling every inch of Mapi, all her flesh and her soft, tanned skin, she smells her and adores her because there probably won't be another moment like this in the future.
She doesn't have time to remember that had thought the same thing that night at the Vela and in the other hotel room, and yet, there they were fucking again, like two magnets attracted to each other in any way, even involuntarily.
-Cum for me, come on, please-Ingrid demands with two fingers deep inside Mapi, her thumb making soft circles on the clit and her mouth sucking and licking the sensitive breasts-always so pretty, so precious-she whispers.
Mapi contracts, exhales softly and shudders for a few seconds while Ingrid does everything possible to prolong the orgasm and let her dance in ecstasy.
They open the wine a few hours later, after a short nap, much more moaning, and a shower for two.
Dawn is just breaking, and Ingrid looks at it through the balcony window, absorbed, until Mapi arrives and places a glass in front of her.
Thoughts crowd together one after another and do not let her enjoy that small moment of rest between them.
-Do you like your team? Is it good there?
The questions take her by surprise.
-Yes. I'm comfortable and my career is important, you know.
-What is life like in Istanbul?
-I really don't want to do this-Ingrid clicks her tongue unusually uncomfortably.
-What thing?
-Talk about our lives.
-You were really eager to talk when you called me a while ago.
-I wanted you to vent, to talk about it with someone outside your team.
-Oh, what generosity, good Lord-Mapi's tone slowly escalates.
-Mapi…
-So, you come looking for a fuck, you get it and you just... leave-Mapi snorts with a hint of irony-well congratulations, you got it, you can go.
Mapi shouldn't have looked so offended when she did exactly that, not too many months ago. Ingrid has never stopped thinking about that night and every interaction she can remember. The way Mapi approached her and planned that unforgettable night, and she's torn between understanding if it was just lust or if there was something else that drove the Spanish girl to break her own rules.
-I didn't mean that, I just...-Ingrid bites her lower lip.
-I guess it's only fair after what happened last time.
-It's not that much to do with that night-the Norwegian chooses carefully what to say, although in the end she says what's really going through her head-I don't want to talk about anything personal because then I might ask you things that you don't have to answer, and I don't want to hear either.
Mapi's expression changes from discontent to bewilderment.
-You can ask whatever you want, I think we know each other well enough to leave our reservations behind.
-Shall we do it?
Mapi doesn't take her eyes off her but doesn't answer anything either.
-It's better if we leave it like this, okay? -Ingrid shakes her head to herself and stands up to leave before doing something embarrassing like asking her if she's in a relationship with that model or whoever or asking if they can get in touch to see each other again sometime.
Mapi nods with a half-smile that never reaches her eyes and takes a few steps back to let Ingrid pass.
-Thanks for this-says the Norwegian, followed by an involuntary grimace-you understand, not because of sex, but…
-It's okay, you don't need to clarify-Mapi doesn't make any gesture of kissing or hugging goodbye and it's better that way.
-It was good to see you, really.
-The same.
The last time was just as uncomfortable and tight, and the time before that was worse, they can't escape that either.
They weren't supposed to do it again, but there they were, determined to go against everything they themselves had said.
- ••••••
Alexia finds Mapi sitting alone at the side of the training field long after the training has ended. She has given her space long enough.
-Do you want to talk about it?
-Do you want to listen?
-Always, Mapi, you know that.
Mapi tries to speak a couple of times, but everything is so disorganized that nothing comes out at first. Being in contact with the grass, something as simple as that, helps her meditate and she falls on her back.
-I did things wrong, Ale. I screwed up.
Alexia doesn't seem surprised and says:
-You have feelings.
-It's posible. Seeing her and being with her these two times made me feel the same way I felt when we... had our encounters. But different. It's complicated.
-Did you tell her now? Because I know you didn't at the time.
-She likes to go to bed with me, fuck, mess around for a while-Mapi shakes her head insistently-she doesn't want anything more than that to go off to her dream life far away from here. Far away from me.
-It's not what I thought.
-That's right, Ale. And now I realize that what I thought were a few good fucks meant more. And it's late, and even if it wasn't late, she left and ended it all without further ado.
-Mapi, listen…
-How come you saw it before me? -Mapi asks without understanding-I told you she was leaving, and you didn't believe me when I said she was okay and that we ended up well.
-Because you find it hard to admit things, to notice them, and when it comes to feelings, you're the same-answers Alexia without flinching-you always let yourself be dominated by the fire between your legs and you never pay attention.
-Thank you for that subtlety-the defender wipes the eyes without understanding how the tears got there-I fell into my own trap, you told me that too, are you a witch?
-I'm just watching. I watched you two long before you got together. And long after, too.
Mapi felt like she was in a spider's web, and the worst thing was that she wasn't sure she wanted to escape, Ingrid's victim, to fall in front of her at the slightest opportunity, as had happened a few days ago, as had happened in April, and as would undoubtedly continue to happen if they continued to meet. It was one thing to say that they were breaking up, words were carried away by the wind. It was quite another thing to believe that she was in control of everything, she controlled absolutely nothing.
-I don't know what to do, is this going to happen at some point?
-I have no idea; it depends on how strongly you feel.
-I'm not sure. We didn't even see each other much, it was a quick encounter... you know, but it was like before, like those times she stayed over with me; that was sweet, I liked waking up and her being there and I don't know, just being together for a while talking, even if I didn't want to see her then. And I... I looked for her in April because I thought she felt sexual desire and wanted to prove to me that I could get over her after that, after I decided it was the last time we hooked up; I also wanted to prove to her that she couldn't resist me even when she decided to fuck off and told me at the last minute, but nothing went right since then. She... she called me after losing that stupid final, and we talked and she made me feel so good, I didn't even know I needed to talk to her, but she got me out of my own mind by saying the right things! And why did she do that, out of pity, out of affection for me or for what we shared one day?
Alexia's expression is comical, her eyes wide and her lower lip between her teeth.
-What?
-It's more than you've told me in months, you never want to talk about it.
-I didn't want to do it, but I can't take it anymore, Ale
-And I guess you never talked about this with her, that it was better to hide and pretend.
-Ingrid...she never gave me any indication that she felt anything beyond fucking each other. And I now believe that the feelings on my part were there long before she left.
-Me too.
-And I was so stupid.
-I see- Alexia takes a moment and looks at her out of the corner of her eye- I'm nobody to give advice but breathe and think calmly. Do you think she feels the same? What was it like when you were together? Do you feel like there could be a future? And if you get an answer for that, that's enough.
-Is this about the captain's wisdom?
-Something like that-Alexia laughs, infecting Mapi, who lets out a contained exhale and looks up at the sky, so blue and clear.
Later, when Mapi thinks of possible answers to those questions that her friend provided, she says no to all of them. Ingrid doesn't feel the same way, she never gave any indication, there is no future, they were pleasant moments of mind-blowing sex. And that's over. Nobody dies of love so the feelings will eventually go away, and everything will remain as the memory of what was not because Ingrid doesn't reciprocate or because they acted like two idiots from the beginning of everything.
- ••••••
In mid-October, Adidas launches a retro collection and presents its campaign against the discrimination suffered by women in sport.
Ingrid knows that she will be one of the visible faces, and also that Mapi will be one of the others, what luck! They used to be when they both played for Barcelona. The presentation will be in Rome, and she must take a few days off to travel, take a few photos and give a short talk and some interviews.
She's not sure if she'll meet the Spaniard, it's usually very rare for athletes to meet up, it's more about Photoshop and putting together photos; she doesn't even look at the program sheet to find out.
So, when they meet face to face for a very short backstage finale in which they want to take two or three photos of them with some basketball and handball players, Ingrid has to pull herself together very quickly and put a half-fake smile on her face.
More than two months have passed, all silence, and Mapi continues to have a devastating effect on her.
-Nice to see you, Mapi.
Oh, that sounded as formal as an old man sounds and Ingrid couldn't contain her involuntary grimace.
-Yes, you look...you are...very pretty-Mapi murmurs, looking her up and down without hiding it.
Wow. So, she´s not the only one who feels affected by the whole thing.
-You too, Leon-and there it is, just like they used to flirt before.
But before it was harmless, now each one feels something that she is not able to reveal to the other.
They take the pictures; they can't take their eyes off each other and the air crackles around them and throughout the room. What the hell does it matter if anyone notices? Ingrid assumes she's being very obvious and so what.
They meet for dinner, with more people of course, and everything remains the same. Mapi drinks slowly and looks at her over the glass; Ingrid eats whatever she wants and licks her lips imagining things that would scandalize more than one person there.
Ingrid wonders if Mapi will make the first move or if it will be her turn to take the initiative. She is not sure that last time was really the last. It is very obvious that they cannot stay away from each other… to get into each other's hands, at least, that is better than nothing.
And the temptation is too great.
-Room 234- Ingrid whispers so softly into Mapi's ear that she fears she hasn't heard, and she walks on, leaving her to the drink and the dull conversation she was having with a tall, sexy blonde. If she had turned around, she would have seen the furious daggers the woman was sending into her back.
Ingrid waits for a long time, for hours. And Mapi never arrives.
Mapi has probably gone to fuck the blonde with huge tits who doesn't remember what fucking sport she practices; and thinking about it makes her incredibly uneasy and makes her itch all over. A body that craves caresses from only one person and that won't have them that night or any other.
The next day she wakes up having slept badly, in a bad mood and wanting to kill whoever decided to start the day at six in the morning with music at full volume, or at a volume that she could hear perfectly from the other side. Who would have thought that!
She goes down to get some breakfast and, to her great misfortune, there is Mapi, looking determinedly at the half-full cup of black coffee without looking up. Ingrid asks for the same strong coffee and thinks about sitting as far away as possible because she still has last night's great snub still raw in her mind. However, her limbs move on their own because she sits next to the Spanish woman and takes one, two sips, until the words also spill out thoughtlessly.
-Long night, huh?
-Don't even tell me.
Ouch. Mapi looks very tired, kind of tired from not sleeping, with big dark circles under her eyes and a slurred voice.
Ingrid would have to leave the exchange there, right? But to hell with dignity.
-You didn't come last night.
-No.
-Was the blonde more interesting? I hope you had a great time.
-You tell me, did you hear anything that tells you I had a great time? Our rooms are next to each other.
Ingrid finally looks at her and Mapi raises her eyes lazily.
-Was all that music at six in the morning you?
-I couldn't...sleep...I needed to relax-Mapi swallows and continues drinking coffee in small sips.
Ingrid wants to ask her everything, to know why she can't sleep, to know why she didn't go and knock on her door. Maybe she misread the signs and finally she doesn't provoke anything in Mapi anymore. Finally, it's all over.
So, they spend the rest of their breakfast in silence, nothing too tense. Ingrid just wants the day to pass quickly, give the talk and a couple of interviews, and then head off to Istanbul again to wallow in self-pity.
She finishes the coffee and barely picks at some fruit until gets up and quietly leaves.
-Ingrid-Mapi grabs her by the arm to turn her around before she enters the elevator.
-What do you want? -she instantly softens because Mapi is not to blame for everything she feels.
-Know what you are going to do during the day.
-Interviews in the afternoon and a talk in the evening.
- And now?
'' Go up to my room and think about how much I'm in love with you and how stupid I was''
-Going to the gym-is not entirely a lie.
-You can't be so boring! You're in Rome!
-Yeah, I have no interest in going out and walking around streets full of tourists and stuff like that-Ingrid shrugs, ready to get into the elevator and physically distance herself from Mapi.
-Not even with me? -Mapi puts on her best puppy eyes and that charming half-smile, killing Ingrid's reason and any more or less coherent idea.
-Are you inviting me to tour Rome with you?
-Yes-Mapi smiles and her expression softens-Are you coming or don't you feel like it?
Ingrid doesn't hesitate much longer, always giving in to whatever whim or thing Mapi wants; and they go to see the most touristy places and do the most cliché things like throwing a coin in the Trevi Fountain and each making a wish.
-Did you really make a wish or was it all a show to please me? -Mapi wants to know.
-I did-the Norwegian confirms smiling-but I would never tell you what I ordered.
-Someday I'll get it out of you.
Ingrid denies the implications of that statement and they walk a few more blocks.
-Should we go get some gelato or are you too cold?
-Wow, someone practiced their Italian-Ingrid scoffs.
-I just translated it to impress you-the Spanish woman raises her eyebrows again and again and they laugh.
It's all so familiar, fluffy and new. And it hurts Ingrid.
Mapi comes forward promising to return with the gelato and she stays behind taking pictures. She can't help but take photos of the Spanish girl, chatting with the vendor and laughing at anything, so much like herself.
-Pistachio for you-Mapi hands her the gelato-strawberry for me.
-How did you know?
-One day you said it to me, something like 'lots of pistachio ice cream when I'm sad' -Mapi shrugs-I don't know what we were talking about but you said it.
Ingrid swallows hard and ignores the amount of things that seem to be between them to talk about, staying only on the surface, not going deeper; and she takes the first lick of the ice cream and it tastes incredibly good. And she avoids looking at Mapi licking hers at all costs because it's all so...sensual that it causes that usual heat in her lower belly.
Mapi pesters her a lot to go look at the Colosseum from the outside and since Ingrid doesn't agree, she settles to go to the Roman Forum.
-I thought you were an athlete, and you don't want to walk to the Coliseum? Really embarrassing-Mapi clicks her tongue.
-You're not going to convince me anyway-the black-haired rolls her eyes.
-Well, we'll be back in a while, don't worry.
As Ingrid takes more photos, Mapi stands in front of the camera clowning around until Ingrid takes her hand and they take a couple of selfies.
-I want them later, okay?
They return not as lively as when they left, looking at each other sideways and avoiding getting too close.
Ingrid looks at the watch on her wrist and realizes she only has half an hour to get ready.
Mapi being in the next room makes the two say goodbye when they are already at the Norwegian's door.
-I... I don't know-Ingrid shakes her head, putting aside what she was going to say-I had a great time, thanks, Mapi.
-And you said that Rome is very touristy-the defender laughs with a hint of sarcasm-I also had a good time.
-Well, fine... maybe we'll meet later? -It's more of a wish than something that's going to happen, she doesn't know Mapi's schedule.
-Maybe. I'm leaving early tomorrow.
-Me too.
They stare at each other for long seconds without saying what they really want to say. The depths of those big amber eyes are going to make her lose the little sanity she still has, so Ingrid opens the door ready to enter. And again, Mapi stops her by taking her arm. She doesn't even ask permission and enters as well, closing the door behind her.
-I wanted to come last night- Mapi stammers, looking at her sincerely-but I couldn't.
-What happened?
-I couldn't, Ingrid-she says again-stayed up all night thinking and wanting to come knock on your door but what did I gain by doing so?
-I don't know, we...
-We see each other, and we can't stay away, but there's nothing left, right?
-I don't believe that-says Ingrid-I think there will always be something.
-Did you want me to come?
-I was dying to-exhales the brunette.
They stare at each other and that's enough. They pounce on each other, tangling their bodies and limbs without leaving a single space, panting and murmuring unintelligible words while they don't let go. Mapi has traces of the strawberry ice cream and Ingrid moans when the demanding tongue seeks hers to start that well-known dance. They stay like that battling for a long, long time.
Mapi's hands slip under Ingrid's coat and the touch is so pleasant that the Norwegian gets lost there for a while, just feeling those hands caressing her from top to bottom.
-Mapi…
-Mmm-the Spanish woman chirps without stopping to kiss her scorchingly.
-I can't... now-there is a moment of lucidity, thank God, and she remembers-I have an interview in a little while, I have to prepare.
-Shit.
-Yes-gasps Ingrid, continuing with the kisses.
-I think I have some media in an hour or so.
-Double fuck.
-Are you free tonight?
-I'm always free for you.
It seems that having said that makes Mapi kiss her with more intensity and determination, and Ingrid lets it happen, abandoned to Mapi and her caresses.
-See you later then, preciosa.
Ingrid thought about going down to dinner and wearing a nice outfit just to torment Mapi a little and play with her. But Mapi had other plans.
Ingrid has a t-shirt on that she wears more for sleeping than anything else and is about to change when Mapi appears at the door wearing a loose striped shirt and dark jeans that make her look sexier than anyone should look.
-I'm not ready yet.
-I think so.
-Oh.
-Let's make the most of every hour until tomorrow, what do you say?
There's no need for too many words between them. Ingrid jumps on Mapi, and the Spanish girl grabs her without hesitation and leads her to the bed, her biceps wanting to burst the fabric of her shirt. Ingrid notices it and drools just from looking at it.
-You're so fucking hot.
Ingrid falls onto the bed and drags Mapi along, pressing her hand on the defender's neck to keep her from moving away. Both of their lips become swollen in a matter of seconds and the moisture that Ingrid begins to feel in her crotch is going to spill out very soon if Mapi doesn't do something.
Ingrid grabs the shirt and, more desperate than lucid, she can't even unbutton it, so she just pulls it with both hands and the buttons fly off and Mapi is left in her bra, just as she longed to see her.
-I liked that shirt-Mapi gasps, smiling.
The kisses continue to escalate in intensity if that is humanly possible. They take off all their clothes and roll around in bed over and over again without separating. Who is on top, or bottom does not matter, it is pleasurable because it is just the two of them and they have a whole night ahead of them to delight and enjoy each other's caresses and kisses.
Mapi smothers Ingrid's moans with her mouth glued to hers, devouring them and keeping them to herself while two talented and expert fingers continue to torment her at the right pace. She knows when Ingrid will cum, she knows it by the way she squeezes her, shudders and holds back an exhale before letting herself go without reservation.
Ingrid can do nothing but stare into her eyes as the orgasm comes in powerful waves, and the words she didn't dare to say tremble on her lips; instead, she sobs out his name and lets herself go, her eyes misty.
There is much more pleasure, a different pleasure, when she sees Mapi suck and lick the fingers has just taken out of her and he can do nothing but consume her mouth, eat her and claim her all as her own.
-I´m fascinated with your back-Ingrid has been kissing every corner of skin within reach and made Mapi lie face down so she could continue on the other side. Two orgasms, that's what she owes her so far and she's going to gladly pay her back, starting with the first one.
-Tattoos?
-Not the tattoos. Just... Your back. Every ridge and muscle smooth and defined.
Mapi closes her eyes and enjoys the long, soft fingers that move up and down so subtly that she barely feels the caresses.
Chatting during sex was never something she did, but Ingrid broke every single damn rule she ever made for herself.
-I was watching you lick the ice cream today and all I could think about…-Mapi moans and jumps because Ingrid nibbled behind her ear and immediately passed the tip of her tongue over it-all I wanted was to be licked like that by you, all over my body.
Ingrid gasps at this confession and begins to kiss, bite and lick again, she will never tire and continues her path south until stopping at that beautiful cleft before the back gives way to the buttocks. Ingrid wants to continue but she sits up a little and looks at Mapi who turns from her position.
-Do you want me to continue? Do you like that…?
-I don't know, never... -Mapi looks away and buries her face in the pillow, the words are still understood-do it, don't stop, please.
Ingrid continues to inspect with her tongue, moaning at the unexpected taste and Mapi moans in turn at the sensation, and from there, it is a chorus of exclamations of pleasure, screams filled with delight and joy on both sides.
Ingrid takes a pillow and tells Mapi to place it under her belly. Her hips rise and she has more access, she contemplates the wonderful view and licks her lips shamelessly. The tip of her tongue starts from the clitoris and follows the entire path, gathering and gathering every drop of Mapi reaching that orifice that, until that day, had not been touched or kissed. It makes her feel special just thinking about it.
She is dedicated to giving Mapi back pleasure and letting her cum as many times as she wants.
Mapi feels exposed and at the same time so fucking good that there is barely a coherent idea in her head.
She climaxes with the deft, familiar tongue, and pleasure surges through her body, leaving her dazed and satisfied.
-If you ask for food, I'll give you anything.
Ingrid has a deep, silky voice and immediately awakens Mapi's usual desire.
-Anything, huh? Does it include exotic sexual favors?
-Tell me, what is there that we haven't done already?
That was the crux of the matter, they did everything for a while and yet she still wanted more of absolutely everything, it wasn't just physical anymore, she was in love and had no idea what Ingrid felt, if she felt anything other than lust.
-One or two things come to mind.
-I don't like being handcuffed or anything like that.
-Too bad for you-Mapi laughs, leaves a brief kiss on the Norwegian's lips and heads to order room service.
Ingrid watches her, she's dying to kiss her more, but she stops herself from saying it. She knows she's wearing a silly smile, and wipes it away before Mapi comes back.
When Mapi said he missed her, what was he talking about? of this, sex, and nothing else? She doesn't dare ask.
At least she will enjoy the whole night and tomorrow we will see, she has always known how to weather those mornings or days when Mapi left, or when she herself was the one who did it.
They wake up facing each other, it's not a tangle of limbs, but they are very close. Mapi's hand on Ingrid's hip and Ingrid's hand on Mapi's.
Ingrid feels the warm tickle of the defender's breath hitting her neck and jaw. She doesn't know if they could have had that more often because Mapi set the limit from the beginning, and she followed her. So, tell Mapi that she's in love? Not a chance. Try something else? Maybe.
She doesn't know what time Mapi's flight is, but hers leaves in four hours and she has to get going.
With great reluctance, she gets out of bed and takes a shower, determined to wake up the Spanish girl. Although Mapi is already checking her phone and looks up when she enters.
-Hey-she whispers with that lopsided smile of her.
-Good morning-Ingrid approaches and hesitates for a moment before kissing her very slowly-I'm leaving in a while.
-Okay-Mapi is naked and does nothing to hide it, in fact, she smiles maliciously when the sheet falls a little.
Ingrid can't help but look at her and frown mockingly.
-I think it would be better if you got dressed.
-Why? I might be in the mood for some morning action-Mapi laughs, the whole expression one of amusement and ease.
-There's no time for that... unfortunately-Ingrid touch her the tip of the nose with the index finger and turns to finish packing the luggage-you also have a flight.
-Yes, I miss Barcelona-Mapi murmurs casually as she sits on the bed.
It's funny how they didn't talk about anything, not about Barcelona or anything else. Ingrid has a thousand questions, but they fucked non-stop and didn't touch on any personal topics. So typical of them lately.
Well, it's now or never.
-I... I wanted to know-Ingrid controls the shaky tone of her voice and tries again-I wanted to know if you're interested in seeing each other again when we both can.
Mapi raises her eyebrows questioningly and says nothing.
-You know, like what we had before.
-That thing we had and that you ended? -says the Spanish woman dryly.
-Yes, let's see, look at us-Ingrid shrugs her shoulders-we've seen each other several times and it seems that we both want the same thing. Wouldn't it be better to come to an agreement and get back to it?
Mapi feels a little disappointed, which she quickly hides and shakes her head many times.
-So that's your brilliant proposal: to take it back…
-If you want, of course.
-I don't want to.
The blunt statement and the almost furious tone make Ingrid take a step back in surprise. She thought that was all Mapi wanted to hear and it seems she was wrong.
-Well, okay, I just thought…
-What we had is over, Ingrid, and now I don't feel like going back to that at all.
Mapi only wants a question that will take her out of the torment so she can confess things that are better kept forever in the dark depths of her soul.
-Are you with someone?
-No, how could I be with someone else and…? -Now she seems offended, dressing in a hurry, almost like that time in February. It seems so far away now.
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
Ingrid curses herself for being so stupid and screwing up so badly. What started out as a quiet morning filled with laughter soon turned into an atmosphere full of sparks and heaviness and she is the cause.
-Look-Mapi approaches Ingrid with such a sad expression that, for a moment, Ingrid wants to kiss her and ask her what's wrong. Obviously, she doesn't-I can't go back to what we had, not anymore. And the night was very, very good, and thank you. Not just because of the sex, you know. But it's here.
-Mapi.
The Spanish woman kisses her on the cheek very heartily.
-I wish you had asked me again why I didn't come the other night or why it's so hard for me to say yes to taking up what we had-she whispers-but maybe it's better this way. Take care, Ingrid.
She leaves as always, leaving the whirlwind of disaster inside Ingrid's heart.
Should she have taken a different approach to that conversation? Say what she feels and wait for Mapi to laugh at her feelings, or wait for her feelings to be reciprocated, heeding the foolish hope that blossoms just thinking about how Mapi was in all those hours shared, so sweet and gentle and soft; remembering how she has been since they began their causal relationship.
Ingrid pushes away her daydreams, glances around the room where she was once happy, and allows a single tear to fall freely.