Running Out of Time
“Hey, does anyone have Defense Against the Dark Arts notes? All I’ve written in my notebooks is variations of ‘this guy fucking sucks.’”
Lily snorted. “Efficient note-taking skills, Marlene, really.”
“Shut up, Sirius hasn’t done any better.”
“And how would you know?” Sirius retorted, sticking his tongue out.
“Because I’ve been reading over your shoulder. That’s a really good drawing of Remus, but I think it could do without the filthy caption.”
“Oh fuck off!” Sirius grabbed a pillow, hitting Marlene across the face with it as she laughed.
“Can we focus, please?” Lily asked exasperatedly, reaching for a different notebook. “Marlene, I’ve got DADA notes. It’s pretty bland, but it’ll be good enough for exams.”
“Thanks, Red,” Marlene replied, taking the notebook from Lily.
“This is so boring!” Sirius whined petulantly. “This is a common room sleepover, why are we studying?”
“Because not all of us can hear something exactly once and somehow pull it out of the murky depths of our memory when taking a test,” Lily answered absentmindedly as she read through her (admittedly terrible) herbology notes. As blasé as she was, she was incredibly jealous of Sirius’ memory. The kind of things she could accomplish if she had a similar one always seemed just barely out of her grasp, now matter how hard she strained, and she found herself tamping down no small amount of envy.
“Well, that sounds like a you problem. Marlene, come have a breakdown with me.”
“Why are we having a breakdown?” Marlene asked, nevertheless going to sit cross-legged besides Sirius on the floor.
“Oh, I assumed you needed to have one.”
“What the fuck, Sirius?”
“What? Didn’t Dorcas reject you after you told her you were in love with her? That seems breakdown-worthy.”
“She didn’t reject her, she just said she needed time,” Lily interjected, finally putting her notes down to look at her friends.
“Yeah, what Lily said.”
“Bullshit. That’s a rejection if I’ve ever heard one.”
“Sirius!” Lily exclaimed. “What the hell?”
“What? Someone needs to tell her the truth! Dorcas said no, but it’ll be ok. She’ll take a bit of time and things will go back to normal,” Sirius explained. “It’ll be ok, Micks. And I’m sorry for being harsh, I just, I don’t want you to get your hopes up for when the waiting period is done.”
“But Dorcas didn’t reject her!” Lily defended vehemently, nodding when Marlene shot her a grateful smile. “She just said she needed time, which is totally reasonable. She needs a bit to process, and then she’ll have an answer.”
“She’s had a whole fucking year to process!” Sirius argued. “I mean, they’ve been at it like rabbits since the glitter prank on Slytherin, you’d think Dorcas would have assessed her feelings by this point in time.”
“Well, maybe she didn’t think she needed to because she didn’t know that there was a chance at an actual relationship.”
“Marly was constantly assessing and reassessing anyway! She’s been tiptoeing around like she’s walking on fucking eggshells ever since Dorcas asked for time. I mean, shit, Marls, are you even fucking happy? No, screw happy, are you even ok?” Sirius turned to Marlene, indignity in his voice and concern in his eyes.
“I… I’m getting through it,” Marlene replied heavily. “I mean, she’ll have an answer at some point. For better or for worse, she’ll talk to me again eventually.”
“She’s not even talking to you?” Lily asked, surprised. She had been focused on studying recently, but she was sure she would have noticed if two of her best friends had just stopped speaking.
Apparently, though, she had been truly oblivious. Marlene sighed forlornly. “Yeah, she’s sort of been avoiding me. Which, you know, I was doing for a bit, so I can’t really blame her much.”
“Hmph. I can,” Sirius said moodily, crossing his arms and leaning back against the couch.
“Why are your knickers in a bunch? It’s not your feelings on the line,” Marlene snorted derisively.
“It’s just… you care about people hard, Marlene. When you decide you love someone, you fucking love them until it feels like your chest is caving in. I love that about you, but it’s worrying. I’m just nervous that Dorcas got scared by how hard you love, and now she’ll pull away and it’ll hurt you.”
“Oh.” Marlene just stared at Sirius. “That’s. Huh. You really care about me, don’t you, Black?”
“You mention this to anybody and I’ll rip your tits off.”
“That’s more in character,” Lily snickered. “I was worried that you went soft for a second.”
“Me? Soft? Never,” Sirius declared. “None of us could ever be considered soft. It’s not like we have common room sleepovers to talk through our feelings and be supportive of one another. We definitely don’t spend our time cheering each other up and protecting each other. Clearly none of us have ever been overtaken by emotions. Nope. We’re all rock solid with no cracks in the walls around our hearts.”
“Sounds right to me,” Marlene said.
“Yeah, I agree with that.”
“Then it’s settled. None of us have ever been brought down by silly things like feelings.”
“Yep.”
“Of course not.”
Silence fell over the group. It wasn’t awkward, it was simply there, stretching and expanding, sinking into the dimly lit room.
“Anyone want to cry about exams with me?” Lily suggested.
“Hell yeah,” Marlene said.
“Reading my fucking mind, Red.”
—————————————————————————————————
James could feel his eyelids fluttering closed against his will, and he forced them open for the fourth time in less than an hour.
He liked History of Magic. It wasn’t a well-known fact, but he honestly found it to be an enjoyable class. Binns, while he wasn’t the most animated professor, always had interesting stories to tell. It was best to think of history like that, as a story. It made it easier to remember. Not to mention, if James was preoccupied with something else, he could spend the class period lost in thought without Binns noticing.
Today, however, he was lost in drowsiness. The full moon had lasted three days this month, and his hours in the forest with Wolf-Remus and the others were always energy-consuming. They were some of the best, an easy break from human complications, but he always had to be on guard to keep Remus safe, and the lack of rest was wearing on him.
He continued, with the utmost effort, to keep his eyes open, picking new things to stare at every thirty seconds, hoping that it would help him stay awake.
It didn’t surprise him, only filled him with a dull pang of longing, when his eyes landed on Lily, sat in the row next to him, a seat ahead. Her hair was blazing in the light of the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. She was leaning forward, resting her chin in her hand, clearly dozing off just a bit.
She was achingly beautiful.
James pushed the thought away, shaking his head and straightening up in his seat. Lily didn’t like him like that. Being friends with her was more than enough, more than he deserved, and he should be grateful for it. He was grateful for it. But some tiny part of him, fluttering annoyingly close to his heart, kept whispering about more.
James imagined smacking the little fluttering thing with his broom, chasing it away from his heart. He snickered at the mental image, finding himself more awake than he was previously.
The price of being awake, however, was being around other people, and the fact that his actions didn’t exist in a vacuum. A fact of which he was reminded when Lily turned in her seat to look at him, either hearing his snicker or simply being magical enough to sense his eyes on her.
She shifted her notes on her desk, tapping at a corner of the paper. James got the hint and leaned forward to read what she’d written.
‘Alright, Potter?’
James just gave her a thumbs-up in response, along with a tired smile. Lily scribbled something down, moving her paper to where he could see it again.
It was a small drawing of a golden snitch, enchanted so that it fluttered around the parchment.
James beamed, turning Lily’s tentative smile into a full-on grin. She turned back to face forward, flicking her hair over her shoulder, turning her attention to whatever story Binns was telling now. James stared wistfully at her for a few seconds, allowing himself just a moment of daydreaming before forcing his mind firmly back into reality just in time for Binns to dismiss the class.
James jumped out of his seat, happy to be moving again. God knows he needed it, without Quidditch he was constantly on the edge of being out of shape. He needed to convince Marlene to do laps around the pitch with him soon, she could probably use the distraction too.
“James, hey!” James stopped in his tracks at the sound of Lily’s voice behind him, allowing her to catch up to him. “I need to talk to you.”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
Lily fell into step beside him as they navigated the crowded halls. “Did you know that Dorcas has been avoiding Marlene?”
“I… was aware of that, yes.” James decided not to mention all the times Dorcas had pulled him into the kitchens to talk. Lily was already stressed, she didn’t need to know that she was missing anything. He mostly had it handled anyway.
“How did I not notice this?” Lily groaned. “God, I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot, Evans,” James replied automatically. “You’ve been fucking frantic about exams, you’re focusing on studying. That’s the opposite of being an idiot.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to be all dismissive and unavailable when our friends need us!”
“You haven’t been dismissive, just a little oblivious. And right now, Lily, they don’t need us. Not really.”
“Do you know what’s going on? Has Dorcas talked to you?” Lily grabbed James’ arm, pulling him to a stop. He paused, becoming hyper-aware of the warmth from Lily’s hand on his sleeve. He short-circuited for just a moment, managing to pass off his momentary cognitive failure as hesitancy to speak.
“She… we’ve talked, yeah. But look, Evans, there’s not much we can do at this point. They need time. Dorcas needs time.”
“That’s stupid. They like each other, they know they like each other. Dorcas was totally ready to go for it during the talent show!”
“Yeah, but then there was the whole misunderstanding and Marlene avoiding her, and it just freaked her out. I think she got worried about how easily Marlene cut her out of her life.”
“But it wasn’t easy, Marlene was miserable that entire time.”
“Dorcas doesn’t know that.”
“How can she not know that, it was so clear!”
“You doing ok, Evans?” James interjected. “You seem… kind of manic.”
“You callin’ me hysterical?” Lily countered easily. “No, I’m fine. Just stressed about exams. And Dorcas and Marlene. And, you know, the fact that students have been murdered and we still don’t know who’s responsible.”
“All very shallow concerns, Evans, I expected better from you,” James joked. At her scoff, he allowed himself to do one of the few things he consistently attempted to stop himself from doing.
James paused to stare at Lily Evans.
On a good day, the moment of transfixion didn’t last very long. Lily would notice, and deflect with a quip or pull him from his thoughts with a new topic to discuss, and James loved those days. Those days, the weight of his gaze rested squarely on his own shoulders, and Lily was unbothered by it. She didn’t read into it, or question why it was happening, or make him feel ashamed. Simply looked back at him for a moment and then let the lingering tension pass.
On the more average day, she was quicker to shy away. His gaze didn’t seem to bolster her, or propel her to a new joke. It seemed to embarrass her instead, and she would look away or towards the ground. James always looked away quickly on those days, he never wanted to cause Lily embarrassment.
The average day was much less concerning than the bad days, though. Those were the days that she didn’t notice his gaze at all, too caught up in her own thoughts, too concerned with everyone around her. Those were the days of dark circles under her eyes and twitching in her fingers, as though she were waiting for someone to give her a reason to pull out her wand. James worried, on those days. He worried most days, had good reason to do so, but the bad days for Lily Evans were bad days for him too, and so he worried.
He was worried now.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Lily?” He asked gently, leaning back when she whipped around to face him.
“Of course I’m alright, why would I be-“
“Move!” James and Lily jumped apart as Professor Rein hurried through the hall between them, muttering to himself the whole time. “Too fast… morons going to- bloody stupid kids….”
James turned to Lily again. “What the fuck was that about?”
“I have no idea.” Lily looked just as confused as James felt. “Can’t have been very good though, god knows he’s a fucking maniac.”
“He’s a racist old git, but maniac may be a bit much.”
“No, I don’t think so. I have a weird feeling about him, I think he’s more dangerous than he seems.”
“Dumbledore wouldn’t have hired him if he was dangerous, he’s not stupid,” James replied, trying to project confidence. “Besides, even if things are scarier than we think, we can handle it. We’ve got this.” He wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulders, hoping it would be comforting.
“Hmm.” Lily didn’t look convinced, but leaned into James anyway, resting her head against his shoulder for a moment. “Maybe.”
“Definitely,” James rebutted. “We’re the Marauders, Evans. Haven’t met a problem we can’t solve.”
—————————————————————————————————
“Why can’t we do anything right?” Alice groaned as soon as she sat down at the table in the library. “They were so close! So close to getting their shit together, and somehow we’ve hit a wall.”
“They need time,” James argued. “It’s a complicated situation.”
“We all see it though, right?” Mary interjected. “All the gross heart-eyes that Dorcas gives Marlene when she’s not looking?”
“She’s not exactly subtle, poor girl,” Remus snorted.
“How is she the ‘poor girl’? Marlene put herself on the line and all Cas did was say she needs time, as if they haven’t spent the whole year dancing around each other. It’s bullshit!” Sirius exclaimed, sulking in his seat.
“She’s scared, Sirius,” Lily replied tiredly. “Marlene just avoided her for ages, she got nervous.”
“Marlene is scared too! But she still cared about Dorcas enough to level up and do something about it.”
“That’s not fair and you know it, mate,” James responded. “Dorcas cares about Marlene.”
“Then she should say so, or stop wasting Marlene’s time. This is ridiculous, and none of you are doing anything about it that’s actually helpful.” Sirius stood up so quickly that his chair flew back behind him, and he stormed out of the library before Madam Since had even appeared to shush them.
For a moment, the group just shared a wide-eyed look, none of them knowing the cause of Sirius’ outburst. After a minute, Lily sighed, standing up slowly, the legs of her chair scraping against the ground.
“I’ll go get him and figure out what’s going on. Be back soon,” Lily said as she walked out after Sirius, not bothering to stop to gauge the reactions of her friends.
Sirius had been out of line, but this weird conflict really had one on for too long. It wasn’t even a conflict, it was just a tense situation, and it really wasn’t helping anyone’s stress levels. Not that Marlene and Dorcas had to conform to anyone else’s wishes, but the end of the year was fast approaching and with the added pressure of exams and not knowing how safe Hogwarts really was, every small situation seemed much more dire than it was.
Lost in thought, Lily barely noticed where her feet were taking her until she found herself in front of the entrance to the kitchens, pacing endlessly before the portrait that disguised the door. With a sigh, she let herself in, finding Sirius leaning against a counter, halfway through a pint of gelato.
“Had to go for the fancy shit?”
“I’m a fancy bitch, Evans. Cheap things make my skin greasy.”
“Privileged whore.”
“I think that’s just called being a sugar baby.”
Lily snorted, hopping up to sit on the counter beside Sirius. “Why are we eating gelato and storming out of meetings?”
“Because, Lily, there’s a terrible truth I must share with you.” Sirius set his snack off to the side, turning to look Lily right in the eyes. “I, Sirius Orion Black, have empathy.”
“I’m gonna go ahead and say I most definitely do not believe you.”
“I know, it was a shock to myself as well,” Sirius sighed. “But alas, it’s the truth. I have empathy and it’s currently causing me to suffer. Feeling things on my own was disgusting enough, but catching people’s secondhand emotions? This is unjust and I will scream.”
“The power of friendship? I only know the pitfalls of friendship.”
“Exactly.”
“Mhm. And why is your empathy so cruelly forcing you to feel things?”
“Because of Marlene.”
Lily waited for further explanation, but when Sirius seemed content to provide none, she nudged him. “Elaborate for those of us who can’t communicate telepathically.”
“I’m just… scared, I think?” Sirius tilted his head, contemplating his next words. “For her, and for a lot of things. I mean, you know how the wizarding world is in comparison with the muggles, we’re a little bit better about girls like Marly and boys like me, but still. Marlene’s parents kicked her out. James’ place is still being rebuilt, so we don’t even know if they’ll be able to take her in for the summer, and with Voldemort pulling his bullshit… I mean, he’s never said that he’s out to get people like us, but we don’t exactly fit with his desires to breed a new generation of pureblood wizards. I just want her to be able to have one good thing, you know? She’s so fucking in love with Dorcas, anyone with eyes can see it, and I don’t want her to lose this chance that could make her really happy just because Dorcas is afraid.”
“Oh.” Lily almost felt guilty for being so flippant earlier, she hadn’t realized the depth of Sirius’ concerns and had assumed he was just being dramatic as usual. “Well, even if things with Dorcas don’t work out, she’ll still have other opportunities to be happy.”
“Will she? It sort of feels like time is running out for happy things. I think we’re heading for a breaking point, but I don’t know which of us it’s going to break.”
“None of us will break,” Lily replied forcefully. “None of us. We’re not running out of time, Sirius. I swear, we’ll have time. We will.” She leaned against Sirius’ shoulder, letting herself fall into him until he scoffed and tossed an arm around her shoulders, fighting a smile.
“Yeah, alright, Evans. Plenty of time.”
“That’s right. But we should use some of that time to get back to the group, who you very theatrically walked out on.”
“Ah fuck, the consequences of my actions, haunting me yet again. I have to apologize, huh?”
“Yep.” Lily popped the p, grinning. “Very sincerely and everything.”
“Hate you tons, Red.”
“Love you bunches, Black. Come on, put your gelato in a freezer or something.”
Sirius snatched up the gelato, holding it up to his chest protectively. “The gelato stays with me.”
Lily laughed as the two exited the kitchen and began walking back toward the library. “It’s your funeral if Pince catches you with it.”
“Pince loves us.”
“She’d kill us where we stand if she could.”
“That does not necessarily indicate an absence of love.”
“I’m sending you to Pomfrey’s therapy sessions.”
“You still go to those?” Sirius asked. “I didn’t realize.”
“Well, I keep them shorter now because I need to be studying more, but yeah, I try to go once a week. It helps.”
“Proud of you, Lily. You’ve grown a lot. Talking about emotions and shit, you’re good at it now.”
“That’s an exaggeration and you know it,” Lily replied.
“Ok, yeah. But you do it sometimes! You initiate discussions about feelings!”
“Oh my god, you’re right. Oh Jesus. Oh fuck. Oh no. Why have you let the nerds infect me with their gross sappiness?”
“It was you or me, Red. I had to make a tough call, but I chose to save myself because… well, I’ll be honest, that was always the plan. Terribly sorry about your tragic but necessary sacrifice.”
“You dick, I’ll kick your ass,” Lily replied, rolling up her sleeves and rushing Sirius. He yelped, dodging and proceeding to sprint down the hall.
“Can’t kick my ass if you can’t catch me!”
“Oh, I can catch you, Black. You’re fucking slow when you’re not on a broomstick. Run faster than that, bitch!”
“You sound like a shitty gay sports coach!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder as he turned a corner.
“The only shitty gay here is- Sirius?” Lily rounded the same corner, only to find a complete absence of her friend. “Where’d you go?”
“He’s right here, Miss Evans.” Out from the shadows stepped Sirius. And just behind him, with a hand around Sirius’ throat and a wand pointed at his temple, was Professor Rein. “Take your wand out, drop it on the ground, and kick it over to me.”
Lily stared at Sirius, who seemed to be conscious yet all but limp in Rein’s hands.
“Do it, now!” Rein snapped. Lily quickly pulled her handout of her robes and dropped it, kicking it across the hallway floor to where Rein stood. He bent quickly to pick it up, not letting go of Sirius for a second. “Now come with me.”
“What did you do to Sirius?” Lily asked, unmoving.
“A variant of a paralyzing spell. He can be moved, he just has no control of his muscles. If I did the same to you, right now, I imagine your head would crack on the floor when you fell.”
Lily took a small step back. “Why are you doing this?”
“Do you want your friend to die, Miss Evans?” Rein responded smoothly. “Because if you don’t walk with me right now, you’ll watch it happen. In 5, 4, 3-“
“Ok, ok! I’m coming!” Lily put her hands up, striding over to Rein and coming to a stopping front of him.
His eyes gleamed with victory. “Good choice. Carry your friend.” He threw Sirius at Lily, laughing as she rushed to catch him before he fell to the floor. “Walk in front of me, and follow my directions. If you try to run, I’ll kill you both before you can get further than five steps. If we pass anyone and you try to talk to them, I’ll kill them and Black. Understood?”
“Yes,” Lily whispered.
“Speak more clearly, Miss Evans. Do you understand me, or are you simply too moronic to comprehend even the most basic of instructions?”
“I understand,” Lily said loudly through gritted teeth. Rein nodded.
“Take a left at the end of this hallway.”
Lily draped Sirius’ arms around her shoulders, hoisting him up on her shoulder as much as she could as she set off in the direction Rein had specified. He trailed behind her, wand pointed at her back, content to let her struggle with Sirius’ weight on her own.
After a minute, the only evidence they had ever been there was a small container of gelato slowly melting on the ground.
—————————————————————————————————
“Is no one wondering where Lily and Sirius went?” Mary asked for the umpteenth time during dinner.
“If I know Sirius, he went down to the kitchens to pout. He and Lily are probably still down there, ruining their appetites by eating gallons of ice cream. We’ll go and get them after dinner,” Remus answered absentmindedly, turning a page in his book.
“Lily seemed off today,” James interjected. “I’m kinda worried about her.”
“You’re always worried about her,” Alice said, not looking up from where Frank’s head was resting in her lap as he laid across the bench.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, James, that you’re terrible at hiding that you still have feelings for Lily. The only one who’s fooled is her,” Peter sighed.
“Oblivious fuck,” Remus muttered.
“What? I- I don’t have feelings for Evans!” James stuttered. “That’s insane! We’re just friends!”
“Oh, sure. And Sirius and Remus are just guys being dudes,” Frank spoke up.
James stared at him. “What does that even mean?”
“Look, James, the point is this. You have feelings for Lily. Lily has feelings for you. Don’t pull a Dorlene. Just be upfront, ask her out,” Peter suggested. Mary nodded from her seat next to him.
“Evans does not have feelings for me!” James denied emphatically. “And I’m not going to ask her out!”
“He’s pulling a Dorlene,” Remus sighed.
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“Denying your feelings and making things more complicated than they need to be,” Frank answered mildly. “We all hoped you would learn from their mistakes.”
“We?”
“Everyone who isn’t you and Lily,” Mary said. “Even Dorcas and Marlene, distracted as they are, managed to pick up on it. The two of you have feelings for each other.”
“Nope. Don’t even, don’t even say that, ok? It’s not true, and even if it was, I wouldn’t ask Evans out,” James replied vehemently.
“Wait, what? If it was true, why wouldn’t you ask her out?” Frank sat up suddenly, staring at James. “You’ve had a crush on her for ages!”
“Yeah, and she’s been through some pretty traumatic shit this year! I know she’s sort of pushing it all down, hell, we all are, but I don’t want to add to her stress levels. So, until she explicitly tells me she wants to date, it’s not happening.”
“I can’t decide if that’s mature or moronic,” Remus responded. “If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to look for my boyfriend.”
“I’ll come with, I need to ask Lily about her Charms notes anyway,” Alice said, standing up with Remus.
“Tell Lily that I’ve got herbology stuff for her,” Mary called out as Alice and Remus walked off. Alice turned to throw up a quick salute in acknowledgment and then they exited the great hall.
“Are you all just… trading notes for exams?” Frank asked, mystified.
“We do every year. I get herbology usually, Alice does Transfiguration, Marlene does DADA and Dorcas takes charms. Lily does potions and is sort of our jack of all trades. Basically, whoever has the most detailed notes for a class shares them and we all end up studying from those,” Mary answered.
“That’s… a really good system, actually. Why haven’t we done that?” Frank asked James and Peter.
“Sirius doesn’t take notes, Remus’ handwriting is impossible to read, you take terrible notes and James just doodles on his paper,” Peter replied. “We’d be fucked.”
“Oh. I suppose that’s true.”
“Hey, James?” Peter turned to his friend, his shift in tone making it obvious that the subject of the conversation was changing. “What are you gonna do if Lily asks you out?”
“She won’t. I don’t even have to worry about it,” James replied easily.
“Yeah, Lily would be upset at herself, honestly. She’s always been such a big planner, you know, and not a single one of those plans involved having feelings for someone. Not to mention, 14 year old her would feel so betrayed,” Mary laughed. “She was very righteously angry towards you for years, starting to like you romantically won’t sit well with her. She’s stubborn like that.”
“Yeah, Evans is literally the most stubborn person alive. That won’t be an issue.”
—————————————————————————————————
Lily decided very early into her walk that she wouldn’t show any signs of weakness, including asking to stop for a moment to catch her breath. Rein’s sadistic fucking smirk only intensified when she stumbled under Sirius’ weight, and she refused to give him the satisfaction as they walked up the fifth flight of stairs, heading towards his office.
“Take a right at the top of these stairs,” Rein directed tonelessly.
“I know where your fucking office is, you don’t have to be a goddamn tour guide,” Lily groused under her breath. Rein’s smirk only grew.
“We aren’t going to my office, Miss Evans, and you will obey my directions without question if you don’t want to be carrying your friend’s corpse for the rest of the journey.”
Lily glared at Rein for a moment before wordlessly turning her attention back to the route they were taking, turning right at the top of the stairs as Rein had ordered.
“Oh my god, Lily? Is that Sirius?” The sight of Emmeline Vance’s worried face greeted her as she turned into another hallway.
“Emmeline-“
“Miss Vance,” Rein interrupted quickly. “If you’d excuse us, Miss Evans is taking her friend to my office.”
“What? He looks like he should be in the hospital wing.”
“No need. It’s a very simple counter-curse, I am most capable of handling it.”
“Ok. Lily, you want me to tell the Marauders what happened?” Emmeline looked to Lily.
‘Yes,’ Lily screamed in her head. ‘Run, run so far and so fast that he’ll never catch up to you, tell everyone, run, help, please fucking help-‘
“Nope. All good,” Lily lied. She hoped that the fake cheer in her tone might tip Emmeline off. There was a flash of something in the ravenclaw’s eyes, for almost a millisecond, but it was gone just as suddenly and Lily realized that she must have imagined it in her desperation.
“Ok,” Emmeline acquiesced. “Make sure he’s ok, yeah? I’d hate for you to be the bearer of bad news, and shit’s fucked this year already.”
“Language,” Rein interjected smugly. “Ten points from Ravenclaw.”
“Yeah, whatever. See you later Lily.” Emmeline briefly squeezed Lily’s shoulder reassuringly, and then disappeared around the corner and down the staircase Lily had just climbed.
Lily felt like she was falling apart, could feel her bones crumbling like rocks from a cliffside. She was alone, and no one would suspect a thing.
“Keep moving, Miss Evans. We have a ways to go.”
She grit her teeth, adjusted Sirius on her shoulder, and set off down the long hallway with Rein at her back, attempting to keep her walk steady to avoid jostling Sirius too much.
“We’re gonna be ok,” she breathed out, hoping he could hear her. “I’ve got you. We’ll be ok.”
Sirius gave no response.
“Left,” Rein ordered suddenly after a long silence. Lily inhaled sharply, making the turn just as a hallway revealed itself.
“Where are we going?”
“I believe I said that I didn’t want to listen to your pointless questions, Miss Evans.”
“If you’d just tell me, I could get there without you stopping to give directions every ten feet.”
“Shut up and walk. Right turn at the next hallway, and stop in front of the portrait of the man on the bow of a ship.”
Lily walked, letting her feet fall heavily on the stone floors as she tried to remember the exact route they had taken. It didn’t matter, she had no one to tell, no way to leave behind a clue with Rein watching her so intently, but it felt better than just giving up. She was Lily fucking Evans, and she didn’t give up. Especially if she had a friend at her side, and Sirius might have been a bit useless in the moment, but his steady breathing in Lily’s ear was more grounding than she would have expected.
He was alive, and she wouldn’t allow that to change.
Lily flinched as Rein’s hand fell on the shoulder that wasn’t bearing Sirius’ weight, yanking her to a stop in front of a painting she vaguely recognized. She had passed it plenty of times during her prefect patrols, had even exchanged pleasantries with the sailor occupying it, but it was achingly inanimate now.
“Here. Try to run and-“
“You’ll kill us, I know.”
Rein’s face twisted in displeasure. “You’d do well to show me a good deal more respect than you have in the past, Miss Evans. I’m in control of whether you live or die tonight, and you haven’t done much to sway me in your favor.”
“You talk like a bastard who escaped from a Charles Dickens book.”
“Hm. Resistance gains you nothing, Miss Evans. Only a much more painful process, despite the inevitable conclusion of your repentance.”
“Repentance?” Lily asked blankly. What kind of weird cult shit was Rein a part of?
“It isn’t your fault you were born with sin, Miss Evans. Death’s march will be purifying, and you will have your chance to repent, as all deserve.”
Death’s march, why was that familiar? Death’s march-
Fuck.
“Mortem itineribus in,” Rein declared, tapping the left side of the portrait frame seven times with the tip of his wand. It swung open, revealing a narrow stone tunnel with no end in sight. Rein gestured for Lily to step through, but her feet remained rooted to the hallway floor.
“You,” Lily whispered. “You killed that little girl in the great hall.”
“Hmm,” Rein hummed in response. “So long ago. You have a good memory, Miss Evans.”
“Hard to forget seeing a little girl fucking hanging from the ceiling. You did that. You fucking- she was a kid. She wasn’t even a fucking teenager yet!”
“Yet? Be quite assured, Miss Evans, she never will be.”
“You’re disgusting,” Lily spat, face white with fear and disgust and a thousand other emotions rolling in her stomach like bile.
“No. I’m a savior, Miss Evans, come to purify you all. I am offering a chance at repentance for all of those with filth in their blood, sin in their souls.” Rein’s eyes gleamed with fanatic frenzy as he spoke, more expressive than Lily had ever seen him. “My methods are unfortunate, but there is no salvation without suffering. You have a chance to repent, Miss Evans. Apologize for the sin coursing through your veins, the unnatural circumstances of your creation, and beg forgiveness. It may even be granted.”
“Repent?” Lily questioned. Rein’s eyes brightened even further, his enthusiasm reaching a feverish height.
“Through the tunnel, Miss Evans. All will be explained.”
Lily weighed her options. Her only possible backup was paralyzed on her shoulder, no one knew where she was, she had no wand, and Rein was clearly unstable. She couldn’t run, but following some fucked up cultist into an endless secret tunnel was no option either. She looked quickly over Rein’s shoulder. If she rushed him, even just managed to knock him to the ground, she could gain the upper hand, slam his head against the floor and grab her wand. She could fight, she would stand and fight-
Sirius let out a barely audible groan.
Lily’s priorities shifted in an instant.
Keep her friend alive at any and all costs. Even if she fought, his safety wasn’t guaranteed. She had no choices.
She stepped into the tunnel.
—————————————————————————————————
“Hey, guys, Sirius and Lily weren’t in the kitchens,” Remus called as he climbed through the portrait hole into the common room. “Did they show up here already?”
“Uh, no,” Frank replied, sitting on the couch with the rest of the group assembled.
“Sirius and Lily are missing?” Marlene questioned. “What happened?”
“We were all hanging out, and Sirius got pissed and stormed off. Lily went to talk to him, but that was like an hour before dinner and we still haven’t seen them,” Mary explained.
“They weren’t in the kitchens?” Peter asked. “You’re sure?”
“Yes we’re fucking sure,” Alice groused. “We combed every fucking inch of the place, no sign of them.”
“Did you ask the house-elves?” James looked at Remus. “If they saw them, they’d let you know.”
“Yeah, I checked. They said that Sirius and Lily had been down there a while ago, but that they had left before it was even time for dinner. I thought they might have skipped dinner and come up here.”
“Marlene and I were in the dorm the whole time, we didn’t hear them,” Dorcas piped up. “Maybe they went somewhere else?”
“Where?” Remus asked.
“Sirius likes to fly when he’s upset,” Marlene offered.
“Yeah, but Lily hates flying unless someone else is steering, and Sirius goes way too fast for her,” James mused. “They left the library, apparently left the kitchens, and definitely aren’t on the quidditch pitch. That’s all of our usual spots.”
“You think they snuck out?” Mary asked.
“Nah, no way. We’d have seen them on- no, Evans wouldn’t do that,” James quickly switched track. “Not at night.”
“Then where could they even be?”
“I’m sure they’re fine,” Alice reasoned, sitting beside Frank. “They’re both smart, they wouldn’t get caught out of bed after curfew. We’ll see them in a bit, I’m sure of it.”
Just as Alice finished her sentence, a horrid wailing noise came from just outside the portrait hole. The group exchanged confused glances, rushing to investigate. The grating screeching continued until they had all exited the common room, only to turn around and discover that the source of the noise was the Fat Lady.
“What the bloody hell was that?” Remus asked angrily.
“Had to get your attention somehow,” the Fat Lady said loftily.
“Why’d you need our attention at all?” Dorcas inquired politely.
“Who’s that in the back of your painting?” Peter questioned.
Sure enough, there was a small figure growing ever larger in the background of the Fat Lady’s portrait. As he got closer, the details became clearer, and a slightly torn sailor’s uniform began to take up space in the painting.
“Sorry to alarm you,” the sailor panted as though he was out of breath, “but your friends are in grave danger.”
—————————————————————————————————
Lily continued to trod down the seemingly endless tunnel, lit only from the tip of Rein’s wand behind her. As she walked, she let her mind begin to process what she had learned.
Rein wasn’t just some racist jackass who supported the ‘wizards first’ ideology, he was a genuine fanatic of some kind, a cult member guilty of murder. It took Lily more than a few minutes to reconcile these two versions of her professor, but once she had, every alarm in her body began to go off.
This was no longer a situation she had any chance of handling. When she had thought Rein was just a kidnapper, there was some chance at escape, but the knowledge that this ran far deeper was concerning. She couldn’t jeopardize Sirius by making any attempts at fighting or running.
Sirius was making more noises, now. He was still quiet, but some of his grunts and groans came close to being recognizable words. Lily swore at one point she felt his finger tapping at her arm, but he had made no other movements and recovery seemed slow. He would be no help in any fight, and Lily would have to protect him without her wand.
She missed the feeling of it in her hands. When she had her wand, the ground was even. She was steady, rooted to the earth by the piece of it in her hand. Now, everything felt off-kilter, and she found herself stumbling as a result of dizziness rather than Sirius’ weight on her shoulder.
“Almost there,” Rein panted behind her. “Miss Evans, you are a privileged one. To repent in front of the Lord himself is a chance few have. Rejoice!”
“Feeling real fuckin joyous,” Lily muttered under her breath. “So much rejoicing.”
A dim light grew in front of Lily as she wearily continued down the tunnel. Rein’s breathing grew more excited the closer they got, giving Lily an immediate feeling of unease. As they seemed to arrive at a cavern in the tunnel, the light became blinding. Lily unwrapped one arm from around Sirius to shield both of their eyes, whereas Rein began to laugh gleefully.
“My Lord! My Lord, I have brought you what you asked. I have delivered what you sought, my Lord, as a gesture of my faith and loyalty.”
“Well done, Rein,” A high-pitched voice drawled. The light began to fade, letting Lily blink spots out of her eyes and finally look around.
The cavern was full of people in black hooded robes, all wearing masks covering their entire faces. Some appeared to be fabric, whereas others resembled porcelain. All seemed to be patterned after skulls.
At the center of the assembled black robes was a chair, a hastily-constructed throne. In it sat a man, pale as a ghost, with dark hair flickering in the light, which had faded from a blinding blaze to a cool white light. In any other circumstance, Lily might have considered him handsome, but the cold malice emanating from him was so off-putting that Lily shuddered.
The eyes that seemed to flash red when they met hers weren’t exactly warm either.
“My Lord,” Rein sighed. “I present to you-“
“I know who you’ve brought me,” the man interrupted with the same bored drawl. He slouched in his seat, looking like a young prince confident in his crown. “The question is, Lily Evans, do you know who I am?”
As Lily stared back, paralyzed by fear, she found that she did.
“Voldemort,” she breathed out.