Golden Years

“Listen up fives, a ten is speaking.”

“Sirius, my darling, my favorite person, my handsome, wonderful boyfriend?”

“Yes, Remus?”

“Fuck yourself up the ass with a wooden stake so it gives you splinters on the way out.”

“Holy fucking christ,” Lily gaped, staring at Remus. “What in the everloving hell, Lupin?”

“Damn, Remus is insulting goals,” Alice remarked.

“I was scared and I wasn’t even the target,” Marlene replied.

“You should hear what he says when you wake him up,” James said.

“I’m tired, you blithering arseholes. Shut up,” Remus muttered, but he was smiling slightly.

The first few days after a full moon always had the heaviest toll on Remus, especially in the mornings. Lily reminded herself to grab him some chocolate from the kitchens later.

“We’re all stuck in double D.A.D.A today, aren’t we?” James asked. A chorus of groans was heard.

“We’re just gonna be reading from the textbook, why even bother showing up?” Dorcas complained.

“Don’t we have that class with Hufflepuff? Gonna stare at your boy from afar, Dorcas?” Alice teased.

Dorcas reddened. “No, that’s not… no.”

“Alice, you literally missed a week of notes because you stared at Frank during every class, I don’t think you have room to talk,” Marlene countered.

The group jeered and laughed, but none of them missed Dorcas squeezing Marlene’s hand in thanks.

“I do not want to deal with Rein today,” James whined. “He’s so….awful.”

“And racist,” Lily said quietly. Dorcas shot her a look that clearly said to shut up, but it was too late.

“Racist? What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

“She was probably just exaggerating, guys,” Dorcas responded. “What’s everyone got for the first class?”

“No, what are you talking about?” Alice asked. “Has he done anything racist? How did we not notice this?”

“Because Dorcas never talks about her issues,” Marlene replied. “It is you he’s being racist to, isn’t it?”

“It’s really not a big deal guys, he hasn’t actually done anything,” Dorcas tried again to stop the conversation.

“Oh, yeah, cuz accusing you of cheating constantly isn’t doing anything, right,” Lily replied sarcastically.

“He what?” James asked.

“It’s not a big deal, guys, he’s just an asshole, he hasn’t actually done any harm,” Dorcas muttered.

“He accused you of cheating? Why?” Frank asked.

“Apparently he doesn’t believe ‘people like me’ can get all A’s without cheating,” Dorcas answered, finally giving up on avoiding the topic. “Apparently, he’s never met a black student who was on the same level as others.”

“That’s bullshit,” Remus said. “You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“Yeah, and I know that, so Rein being an idiot isn’t a big deal, you guys. It’s ok,” Dorcas responded. “Can we just drop it?”

“We’re not just gonna let this go, Cassie,” Sirius replied.

“Yeah, Rein can’t just get away with that,” Peter interjected.

“Look, guys, I’m not happy about it either, but there’s nothing we can do about it, ok?”

“We could-“

“No. We’re all gonna forget about this, ok?”

“But-“

“Ok?” Dorcas stared James down. “None of you are gonna risk getting in trouble for this shit. It’s mine to deal with, so I’ll handle it. Got it?”

James stood defiant for a few seconds before deflating under her gaze. “Fine.”

“Good. Now, Peter, how the hell did you figure out the herbology essay?”

As the conversation went back to regular issues, the group seemed to slip back into the sleepiness of the early morning.

Except for Marlene, who was suddenly nowhere to be found.

——————————————————————————————

“Guys, I’ve found the perfect song for us to do for the talent show!” Alice burst into the common room during their free period.

“Ok, what have you got?” Lily asked, putting her quill and History of Magic homework away.

“It’s gonna be ABBA.”

“Alice no.”

“Alice yes!”
“I hate ABBA,” Mary groaned. “Their songs get stuck in my head for weeks and I never actually remember the words so it’s just the chorus on repeat forever.”

“Ok that’s true but come on guys!” Alice tried to rally them. “It’ll be fun!”
“Which song?” Lily asked resignedly.

“Dancing Queen.”

“Oh dear god,” Mary buried her head in her arms. “No way.”

“It’ll be fun!”

“No.”

“It’s catchy and well-known!”

“No.”

“We might have a shot at winning.”

“No.”

“I’ll tell you how I sneak into the boys’ dorms at night.”

“Deal.”

“Wait, what?” Lily said, glaring at Mary. “That’s all it took?”

“What? I’m only human, Evans,” Mary responded. “Get ready for disco dancing, we’re doing ABBA.”

“I’m jumping off the tower and none of you can stop me.”

“Why are you jumping off the tower?” James asked as he and the other boys entered through the portrait hole.

“They want me to perform Dancing Queen. I simply won’t have it.”

“What do you have against ABBA, Evans?”

“Oh no. Please don’t tell me-“

“You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen,” James sang. He wasn’t actually bad at singing, Lily noted.

“No, Potter, why would you betray me like this?”

“Dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine-“

“Go to hell!”

“You can dance, you can jive-“

“Fuck off James!”

“Oooh, see that girl, watch that scene, dig-“ James was cut off as a pillow hit him in the face. “You just declared war, Evans.”

“Good! Suffer my wrath, you disco-loving bastard!”

The rest of the group watched on as James and Lily began to attack each other with pillows.

“Do they even realize we’re still here?” Remus asked.

“Doubt it, babe. They’re in that young lovers, don’t-see-anyone-but-you headspace right now,” Sirius replied. “Remember when we were like that?”

“I distinctly remember us never being like that.”

“You were worse actually,” Frank said.

“Shut it Longbottom.”

“Yeah, no one asked you.”

——————————————————————————————

“Where is Marlene?” Dorcas stormed into the Great Hall. James, who was closest to her, startled so badly he dropped his sandwich.

“What’s happening? Why are you so pissed?” Sirius asked.

“Fuck off, Black, where is she?”

“Cas, we haven’t seen her,” Lily answered. “Do you want to wait here for her? And maybe tell us what’s wrong?”

“That asshole- told her not to do anything- picking fights that aren’t hers- didn’t respect my goddamn wishes-“ Dorcas was fuming so much she barely seemed able to articulate the issue.

“Ok, why don’t you just sit down for a few minutes?” Lily said, shooting a glance at the rest of the group. Her confusion and apprehension was mirrored on their faces.

“Hey guys, what’s up-“

“You!” Dorcas stood up, glaring at Marlene, who stopped dead in her tracks. “You absolute goddamn idiot!”

“Ok, fair, but what did I do this time?” Marlene asked.

“Hey guys, you wanna maybe do this somewhere else?” James asked, looking around at the other students, who had suddenly gone very quiet.

“Yeah. Come with me, you jackass,” Dorcas said. She walked off, Marlene staring after her.

“What happened?” She asked, clearly scared.

“Something about you not respecting her wishes?” Lily answered.

“Oh shit,” Marlene paled. “This is not gonna be fun.”

——————————————————————————————

“You asshole!”

Marlene winced as Dorcas rounded on her the second they made it into the common room. “Look, I know you’re pissed, and-“

“Oh, this is well beyond pissed, McKinnon. I’m fucking furious,” Dorcas replied. “You heard me say I didn’t want anyone to do anything, and you went behind my back and did something incredibly fucking stupid!”
“I would argue that it was pretty genius actually.”

“Genius? You call setting a fucking bludger loose in Rein’s office ‘genius’?”

“I mean, it was pretty good if I do say so myself-“

“You shouldn’t have done it.”

“And why not?” Marlene asked. “He was being a racist dick, accusing you of cheating because he doesn’t think black people can be smart, and now his shit’s destroyed. I’d say it was a fair fucking punishment.”

“You accomplished nothing, and now he’s gonna think I did it-“

“Actually he won’t,” Marlene interrupted.

“Why not?”

“I maybe, sort of, kinda, may have left enough clues for him to realize it was me,” Marlene stuttered.

“You did what.”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna let anyone else take the fall for it,” Marlene said. “Why in the hell would I do that? If Rein has anything remotely resembling a brain, he’ll figure out it was me, but he won’t be able to fully prove anything, so it’ll be fine.”

“You still shouldn’t have done it,” Dorcas said forcefully.

“Why not?”

“Because it was my fight, not yours! Rein was being an idiot, but I was handling it-“

“By doing nothing!”

“Because doing something won’t matter. You didn’t change his mind, he won’t stop being racist, you didn’t accomplish anything, so next time don’t bother!” Dorcas advanced, getting closer until she had backed Marlene into a wall. The warm brown eyes Marlene loved so much were hard and cold, and it hurt her more than she expected.

“I didn’t do it because I thought it would change his mind!” Marlene defended.

“Then why?”

“Because-“ Because what? Because I love you and I don’t want people to get away with hurting you? It wasn’t like Marlene could answer with that. Dorcas was already angry with her, she didn’t want to drive her away entirely.

“Because what?” Dorcas seethed. She was entirely too close, and Marlene could feel her skin heating up. She glanced down at Dorcas’ lips before catching herself.

“Because he shouldn’t be able to get away with that. People shouldn’t get to do things like that without consequences.”

“He already has gotten away with it, Marlene,” Dorcas replied.

“Yeah, but consider this: now his office is destroyed.”

“Is that supposed to help?”

“No, but at least it’s kinda funny.”

Dorcas finally cracked a small smile at that. “No, I’m supposed to be mad at you,” she groaned. “You can’t make me smile when I’m mad at you.”

“But it’s so much nicer when you’re smiling,” Marlene grinned. Dorcas looked down, shaking her head and blushing slightly.

‘Clearly Jack wasn’t doing a good enough job if a simple compliment still made her blush. He should be writing her sonnets. Dorcas deserves sonnets,’ Marlene thought.

“Look, I’m really sorry, ok? I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. I just…. I don’t like when people get away with hurting you,” she said, looking down.

“No, Marls, hey… Look,, I get why you did something. But next time, maybe just wait for the go-ahead?” Dorcas said. Her voice was softer now, and she hadn’t backed away. Marlene could smell the perfume she wore; it was jasmine scented and intoxicating.

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll do that. I’m sorry I didn’t respect your wishes. It won’t happen again.”

“Good.”

Marlene wasn’t quite sure what to do after that. She wasn’t angry anymore, and without the distraction, her attention wandered. She stared at Dorcas, almost physically unable to look away. She noticed a curl of hair that had escaped Dorcas’ bun. Marlene grinned goofily, unable to help herself.

“What?” Dorcas asked, smiling too.

“You have, here, let me just….” She pulled Dorcas even closer, surprising herself with her boldness. Marlene gently tucked the stray hair behind Dorcas’ ear, her hand lingering for a second. She glanced at Dorcas’ eyes for a second.

But then she couldn’t look away.

Marlene went breathless, gasping for air, drowning in the flecks of gold in Dorcas’ eyes.

She unconsciously began to lean towards Dorcas.

It seemed almost like Dorcas was leaning in too.

——————————————————————————————

“Marlene, did you seriously set a bludger loose in- shit, sorry, didn’t see anything!” Lily whipped around, facing the wall instead of her friends. To be fair, she hadn’t expected to walk in and see them leaning in for a kiss.

“Lily, hey. What is it?” Marlene asked through gritted teeth. Dorcas had jumped back as soon as she heard Lily come in.

“I, uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to walk in on….your argument.”

“It’s fine. Marlene and I are ok now, right?” Dorcas asked.

“Yeah, we’re good. Cas, uh, you should probably…”

“Yeah, I’ve got stuff….to do, uh….studying, I’m gonna go!” Dorcas stuttered, hurrying out the door without another word.

Lily stared at Marlene, who was blushing slightly. “What was that? Were you gonna-“

“Nothing happened ever, you saw nothing because absolutely nothing happened, that will never be mentioned again, fuck off,” Marlene rambled.

“Ok, but you realize something, right?”

“What?”

“Dorcas must like you if she was about to kiss you,” Lily explained.

“No, that’s not… that’s not what was happening. I was just fixing her hair,” Marlene defended.

“Uh-huh. Is that what they call it these days?”

“Shut up. She has a boyfriend. And even if she is attracted to me, that doesn’t mean she actually likes me,” Marlene said.

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Anyway, did you actually set a bludger loose in Rein’s office?” Lily asked.

“Hell yeah I did.”

“Nice one, Sirius is very proud of you. He says he’ll get you a bottle of firewhisky, but I wouldn’t count on that if I were you.”

“Dope, I’m gonna make him at least give me cookies.”

“And I’m gonna go see the damage to Rein’s office,” Lily said. “I bet it’s fucking wrecked.”

“Oh yeah, it absolutely is. Go check it out, I’m very proud of it.”

——————————————————————————————

The damage to Rein’s office was certainly catastrophic. Papers were strewn everywhere, furniture was overturned, and there was even a hole in the desk. Paintings had fallen to the floor, frames broken and their inhabitants grumbling. There were dents in the floor, wall, and ceiling, and a hole in the window where the bludger must have escaped.

Lily smirked as she surveyed the damage. ‘Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,’ she thought. She would have to congratulate Marlene when she saw her at dinner.

She was about to leave when she heard footsteps outside the office. She looked around, trying to find a place to hide. How could she explain her being there without incriminating herself?

She dove behind a cabinet just as the door opened. She stayed as quiet as se could, hardly daring to breathe, hoping whoever entered would leave soon.

“What happened to your office?” Lily heard a strange voice ask.

“Someone got in and destroyed the place. I haven’t figured out who, but when I do…” She heard Rein answer.

“Never mind that. How are things progressing?”

“Most students seem resistant to the methods, but some of them clearly agree with the message. They’re all a bit intimidated, which honestly makes it a little easier in class.” Rein chuckled. Lily strained to hear him without giving herself away.

“Hmmm. And what was the trouble with the students who were expected to do well?”

“They sort of started up their own thing. But mine is more successful so far, and they almost got caught. And as soon as I educate them, they’ll understand,” Rein said. Lily wasn’t quite sure why he emphasized the word educate, but it sent a shiver down her spine.

“Very well. I’ll report your progress, but if you don’t advance significantly by the end of the year, the consequences may be…severe.”

“I understand, but you have to remember-“ Rein cut himself off. Clearly whoever he was talking to was no longer listening. Lily held her breath yet again, hoping that he wouldn’t notice her.

Rein sighed heavily. He took a seat at his desk and took out a quill, grabbing a stack of papers and beginning to write.

‘Damn it,’ Lily thought. ‘How do I get him to leave?’

She kept quiet, desperately thinking of ways to make her escape. There was no way to get out with him in the room, and it didn’t seem like he was leaving anytime soon. She was stuck until he got up.

Just as Lily had accepted her fate, a ruckus came from outside the office. Rein looked up just in time to see James burst into the door.

“So sorry, sir,” he panted. “Filch wants to see you, Peeves has been spreading some sludge all over the castle and it keeps burning whoever touches it.”

“Blasted poltergeist,” Rein muttered. “Fine.”

Rein stood and hurried out the door, nearly knocking James over as he rushed past. James stared after him, and then turned into the room.

“Lily? You alright?” He asked.

Lily stood up. “How did you know I was in here?”

James grinned. “I can always sense when a Marauder is in need. C’mon, I don’t know if Rein will realize I was lying and come back.”

James held out his hand.

Lily took it.

It wasn’t until they had run all the way back to the common room hand in hand that Lily realized James had called her a Marauder.

She decided to blame her sudden blush on the exertion from running.

——————————————————————————————

Lily grimaced as she walked into the Hospital Wing. Ever since the snake and skull incident, Madam Pomfrey had been asking her to come in for mental health checks on Friday afternoons. It wasn’t awful, but it sure as hell wasn’t fun.

“Lily, good to see you,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Anything new happening right now?”

“Nope. What am I doing today? Do I get to look at dots and say what they mean to me? What kind of diagnosis will that even get me, Poppy?” Lily asked, draping herself dramatically over the couch in the nurse’s office.

“Haha. This is your mental health on the line, Miss Evans. Why do you insist on taking everyone’s emotions seriously but your own?”

“I suppose I’m just special like that.”

Lily and Madam Pomfrey had always gotten along well. Lily was usually the one to drag her friends into the Hospital Wing after they got themselves injured, and she was always in with Remus during the days after a full moon. She also aspired to be a Healer. She had wanted to be a doctor when she was younger, and when she found out there was a magical equivalent, she knew it was the career she was meant for. Ever since, she had spent a good bit of her free time in the Hospital Wing, learning what she could. Madam Pomfrey was kind to her, and always encouraging.

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about today?” Madam Pomfrey pulled her out of her reminiscing.

“Uh, not really. I just wish it felt like the whole….incident was over, you know? Like I had done something to end it.”

“Hmm. Do you think some form of closure might help you?”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to see the grave or anything. I just wish I felt like the killers were gonna get caught,” Lily confessed.

“Perhaps there’s something you can do about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you have any suspicions about who may have been behind the attack?” Madam Pomfrey asked.

Lily’s mind flashed back to Snape. ‘Stay away from the sign of the snake’, he’d warned her.

“Yes,” she answered. “Yeah, I’ve got some thoughts on who may have done it.”

“Sharing those thoughts with someone may help you feel as though you’ve achieved some form of justice,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Maybe you should talk things through with the Headmaster.”

“I don’t want to bother him,” Lily responded. “And besides, if I’m wrong, I don’t want anyone’s lives to be ruined over it.”

“I’m sure Dumbledore with think rationally about any and all theories presented to him, it’s not likely he’d just assume a traumatized student is correct.”

“Wow, and to think people call you nurturing,” Lily snarked.

Madam Pomfrey laughed. “Don’t know why they would ever slander me like that.”

“I’m sure they’re just misguided.”

“You think you’re hilarious.”

“Someone’s got to be, Poppy,” Lily replied.

“You know, Minerva would have conniptions if she heard you call me by my first name,” Madam Pomfrey grinned.

“Should I stop then?”

“Oh god no, do it in front of her as much as you can.”

——————————————————————————————

Despite the fact that most of her therapy sessions were spent bantering with Madam Pomfrey, some helpful suggestions did come out of them.

Like talking to Dumbledore.

Lily paced in front of the entrance to the Headmaster’s office. She was still unsure about doing this. All she had to go on was a vague warning and suspicions, and surely Dumbledore wouldn’t take that seriously, would he? She had talked to the group about it beforehand, and while it was definitely an interesting conversation, it wasn’t the most helpful. And so Lily continued to pace, wondering if she should go through with it at all.

“Miss Evans?” Lily jumped and whipped around upon hearing the Headmaster’s voice.

“Professor Dumbledore, sir!” She stuttered. “Um, hello.”

Dumbledore looked amused by how nervous she seemed. “Hello, Miss Evans. Poppy tells me you have something to discuss with me?”

“Uh, yes sir.”

“Come in then. Would you like any tea?” Dumbledore asked as he ushered Lily into his office.

“Erm, no thank you.”

“Very well. May I inquire as to why you’re here, Miss Evans?” Dumbledore asked as he sat behind his desk.

It would seem all she needed to begin to table was a slight push. “Well Professor, I wanted to talk to you about the snake and skull incident. I think I know who may have done it, or at least had something to do with it. And I’m not sure but they definitely knew something beforehand, and I could be entirely wrong but they may have really even come up with the idea-“

“Miss Evans?” Dumbledore interjected. “Is it safe to assume you’re talking about a student?”

“Yes sir, and I know it may sound crazy but they said something very suspicious and if they had something to do with it, I couldn’t just not tell anyone, but I also don’t want to be wrong, but I kind of don’t want to be right-“

“Miss Evans, may I ask exactly what this student said to you to make you believe they were involved?”

“He, er, he came up to me after class. Snape, he told me to watch out for the sign of the snake.”

“Severus Snape told you this? He warned you?” Dumbledore said, standing and walking to the window.

“Uh, yes sir-“

“How peculiar,” Dumbledore mused. “Strange, but perhaps not unpredictable.”

“Sorry sir?” Lily asked disconcertedly. “What’s peculiar?”

“Are you aware of the muggle practice of psychology?”

“Er, yes.”

“The science of the mind, and they even study behavior too. You know, wizards are often so preoccupied in how magic works, we forget to wonder about the beauty of how people work. A true shame. I believe the only thing you really need is to understand people. After you’ve learned that, the secrets of the universe are yours.”

Lily stared at the Headmaster, more than a little confused. “You’re probably right, sir, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“No, of course not,” Dumbledore chuckled. “Forgive me, Miss Evans, I’m certainly getting older and more distracted. What you have said to me, I assume it means you suspect Mr. Snape and his friends were involved in the attack?”

“Well, yes, but I’m not sure-“

“Perhaps not, but you’ve still been a great help to me, Miss Evans.”

“I have, sir?” Lily had no idea what was happening anymore, and she wasn’t even going to try to pretend she did.

“Oh yes, you may have given me exactly what I need. And rest assured, I will investigate your suspicions, though I am unsure anything will come of them.”

“As long as someone looks into it. Thank you, Professor,” Lily said, standing to leave.

“Oh, and Miss Evans?”

“Sir?”

“I was informed about the talent show. I’m quite excited to see it. A school-wide event may just be everything we need right now,” Dumbledore smiled. Lily had seen him for six years, and somehow he looked younger than he ever had.

“Yes sir, I’m very excited about it,” Lily smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

“Fun. What a marvelous concept. Well, don’t let me keep you, it’s getting late.”

“Yes sir. Have a good night.”

——————————————————————————————

“Dumbledore is weird as shit,” Lily announced as she walked into the common room.

“We been knew,” Sirius replied from the couch.

“No but like really. He’s great but he’s definitely gone round the bend.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Marlene responded.

“What are you two even doing down here anyway? It’s late,” Lily said, moving Sirius’ feet to sit on the couch. He stuck his tongue out at her. She flipped him off.

“We were just talking,” Marlene said. “He was rambling about Remus, I was waxing poetic about Dorcas, about the usual.”

“How very surprising,” Lily replied sarcastically. This time Marlene stuck her tongue out at her.

“What about you, Lily, got anyone you need to write sonnets for?” Sirius asked.

“Ha, no. James and you lot take up most of my time, I haven’t got the energy for romance.”

“How come James isn’t part of ‘you lot’?”

“Because he’s got some sense and the rest of you are insane.”

“Since when do you think James has sense?” Marlene asked.

“He’s changed,” Lily replied simply. “He saw his flaws and worked to improve them rather than keep denying he had them. That’s about the bravest, most admirable thing a person can do.”

Marlene and Sirius stared.

“I’m telling him you said that.” Sirius broke the silence.

“Black, you motherfucker don’t you dare-“