Golden Years

“Ok, I’m not doing this. I’d rather die here. Goodbye, my friends. Cruel fate, your smiling irony has defeated me. Count yourself among the luckiest, for you were one of the few who could bring about my downfall. I salute your unending cruelty, your relentless triumph, your eternal misery-inducing guidance. I go out with a grin on my face, for I have met my match and am glad to submit to the unholy embrace of death.”

“Dorcas. What in the ever-loving fuck?” Lily replied.

“She’s too gay for this and she can’t handle it,” James said from his spot on the counter beside Lily. They were in the kitchen yet again, trying to coach Dorcas through her panic.

“How’d you translate that?”

“I’ve gotten really good at translating gay panic to English. It’s one of the few useful things Sirius taught me,” James answered with a smile.

“Alright then. Anyway, Dorcas. This isn’t gonna be that bad. You only have to be in there for about ten minutes. You might not even get a chance to talk to Marlene,” Lily attempted to reassure her friend.

“Is that worse? Do I want to talk to her or not? I don’t know. Lily, I’m dying here,” Dorcas whined.

“I know, I know darling. It’ll be alright,” Lily soothed.

“Remember, Cas, beginnings are more important than endings. You and Marlene, from the beginning, you two have been amazing. What happens next doesn’t matter much as long as you remember that,” James said.

“Your cryptic poetry bullshit is bullshit, Potter,” Dorcas laughed.

“Even if you get screwed over, you’ll have something worth remembering,” Lily said. She looked over at James. “Not the most helpful, but a good try.”

“How’d you translate that?” Dorcas asked.

“I’ve gotten pretty good at translating meaningful sentiments to English. It’s on of the few useful things James taught me,” Lily replied.

“Thanks, Evans,” James grinned. “Look, I’ve got to go. If I don’t get to the Great Hall in ten minutes, I won’t have time to eat before the match.”

“Ok. Thanks for your help, James,” Dorcas said.

“I thought I didn’t help much?”

“You didn’t, but I figured I’d at least pretend you did.”

“Fuck off,” James grinned as he left.

Lily looked at Dorcas, who was now beginning to pace. She had done that a lot recently. That couldn’t be a good sign.

“Cas, babe, why don’t you talk to me a bit, huh?” She asked gently.

“Are you sure? I’m sure you have other stuff to do, places to be-“

“Cas, none of that matters more than you,” Lily interrupted.

“Well, hey, maybe it should,” Dorcas answered. “I’m just freaking out, it’s nothing you haven’t heard before, I’m totally fine, I can handle this on my own-“

“Dorcas!” Lily cried. Dorcas stopped rambling to look at her. “Why don’t you want to talk to me?”

Dorcas paused, clearly caught off guard. “What makes you think I don’t want to talk to you?”

“You were fine talking while James was here, and now you won’t talk and you’re nervous. Did I do something?”

“I…. It’s just…” Dorcas slumped against the counter, looking defeated. “No, you haven’t done anything.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I just… What’s it like to be first?”

“What?” Lily asked confusedly.

“What’s it like to be someone’s first priority?” Dorcas asked. At Lily’s blank look, she elaborated. “I’ve never been anyone’s first priority. I’m ok with that, to be honest. I’m happy with being just part of the group. Makes life easier sometimes. But I guess… I don’t know. When Marlene was about to go back into the fire to find you, I just… I wondered what it’s like, to be that important to someone.”

Lily couldn’t quite understand. “Cas, you’re so important to all of us-“

“I know. I know all of the group loves me, and I love all of you guys too. But Alice has Frank. Mary has Peter. You have Marlene, Remus and Sirius have each other, and to be honest, you have James too. I like that, don’t get me wrong. Alice and Frank are going to be incredible together. Mary and Peter deserve each other. Remus and Sirius are soulmates. You and Marlene have a bond that’s really amazing, and when you and James get together, well, the world might end, but if it doesn’t, you’ll be fantastic together. I suppose I’m just a little jealous,” Dorcas finished.

“Jealous of what?” Lily breathed out.

“I don’t know. The fact that you’ve got a best friend? Or that you are someone’s best friend? I’m not making much sense right now. Look, this doesn’t matter-“

“Cas,” Lily jumped up, grabbing Dorcas to stop her from leaving. “You know you’re the most important of all of us, right?”

“What?”

“You are. You’re like, the heart of this group. I promise, Cas, you might not realize it, but you are the best of all of us,” Lily said.

Dorcas softened. “You don’t have to make up shit to humor me Lily. I told you, I’m alright with it.”

“I’m not. You might not be the most obvious choice, Cas, but you’re so important.”

“Ok. Yeah, alright,” Dorcas smiled.

“Good. Now explain why you’re in crisis?”

——————————————————————————————

“Ok. You got this, Dorcas?” Remus questioned as he and the other girls walked down towards the Quidditch pitch. Gryffindor was playing Ravenclaw, and it was going to be the first game Dorcas commented in. “It’s not gonna be difficult. We’ve got about twenty minutes before the match. You go into the lockers, talk to the girls about whatever, the game, the other team, star signs, I don’t really care. It won’t matter too much, but it’ll be fun to throw in some stuff during the game.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Dorcas smiled. “I’ll be up in the stands in a bit.”

“Alright. Now, the rest of you lot, James is absolutely gonna act like an idiot. He always does when he’s on his broom. Scream at him, but make sure it’s insults.”

“Oh I can most certainly handle that,” Lily grinned. “See you after the game!”

She, Alice, and Mary made their way up to the stands, where Peter was waiting for them.

“Cas and Remus seem alright?” He asked.

“Yep, they’re all set,” Mary said. “James and Sirius excited for the match?”

“Oh, of course. I think James is realizing they have a real shot at the Cup this season, so he’s been working the whole team extra hard. They seem ok with it though.”

“Marlene would sooner die than lose a Quidditch match, so I’m sure she’s fine with it,” Lily said. “How long until the match starts?”

“About five minutes,” Alice answered.

“Ok, good. I’ve got a question for you lot.”

“What’s up?”

“The Valentines Hogsmeade trip is coming up. Should we do something specifically for Dorlene?”

“Actually, I say we sit Valentines out. We have a plan currently in progress, so maybe that’ll get them together, but I think most of us already have plans,” Mary responded.

“Shit. Am I the only single one on Valentines day again?” Lily whined. Alice laughed.

“James is single. And you’re supposed to pretend to like him- Lily!”

“What?”

“You should go out with James on Valentines!”

“No! No way in hell,” Lily replied. “No. Nope. Nuh-uh. Nah. No.”

“Wait, shit, that could actually help,” Peter said. Lily shot a betrayed look at him. “No, listen. We say you and James are gonna hang out since you’re both single, and Marlene and Dorcas spy on your date!”

“It won’t be a date!”

“Well, obviously. But the point is that they’ll spend time together trying to get you and James together,” Mary responded. “It’s perfect!”

“No. It’s torture.”

“Oh come on, Lily. James is hardly the worst option. It’s not even a real date! Just pretend to flirt a bit and gush about his hair or something when they ask about it later,” Alice said.

Lily thought for a few seconds. They were right when they said Potter wasn’t the worst option. He was fun to hang out with. And he was capable of being funny, which is more than a lot of guys Lily had dated could say. He would make things bearable at least.

“Ugh. Goddamn fucking fuck. Fine, I’ll do it,” she groaned.

“Yes! It’ll be great, you’ll see,” Mary said.

“Everyone, hush, the match is starting!”

——————————————————————————————

“And the score is 70-30 in Gryffindor’s favor with no sign of the snitch. Cas, what do you think about these scores?” Remus asked. The game was slow, with both Keepers doing a good job of keeping the score low.

“I think that things need to hurry up or I’m just gonna leave to take a nap.”

“Fuck you Cas!” Marlene shouted with a grin as she flew past.

“Fuck you too, Marls.”

“Miss Meadowes, please refrain from using that kind of language,” McGonagall said.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry My Queen, Ruler of All Known Creation. May Your Majesty never be plagued by a word of mine again, lest the consequences drive a sword through mine own dastardly heart,” Dorcas replied.

“Cas?”

“Yeah, Rem?”

“That was actually kinda beautiful.”

“Oh I know. Speaking of beautiful, I think Marlene just broke a guy’s ribs,” Dorcas said over the cheers from the Gryffindor section.

“Excellently aimed bludger by Marlene McKinnon, and it does seem like Ravenclaw chaser George Weston is injured. A backup chaser is being sent in,” Remus remarked. “What do we know about him, Dorcas?”

“Hmm, who is it, oh. Oh no. Who let Barry Whittle on the same field as Sirius Black? Run, Barry. Run- and it’s too late. Sirius has sent a blunger at his head.”

“Get him, babe!”

“Remus don’t encourage violence.”

“I’ll encourage whatever the hell I want. Beat his homophobic ass, babe! Shatter his bones!”

“Sweet Jesus. Run Barry. Just go. Escape with your life while you can.”

“No, stay. I like the terrified look on your face,” Remus grinned.

“A PSA for the Ravenclaw beaters. Make sure Barry doesn’t die,” Dorcas said.

“No, let us kill him,” Sirius cried as he zipped by.

Barry was decidedly unsettled, seeing as the Quidditch match had now turned into a game of 'Can Marlene and Sirius Team Up To Kill A Man?'.

——————————————————————————————

“A toast to the Gryffindor Quidditch team! Excellent job, mates, we’ve got this season in our hands! Quidditch Cup, here we come!” James shouted from a table. The answering cheer was deafening as the victory party in the common room raged on.

“So, what did you think of commentating, Cas?” Marlene asked from where she was sprawled across an armchair.

“It was actually fun,” Dorcas answered. “Not as hard as I thought it’d be.”

“Well, you did an excellent job,” Sirius praised from his spot on Remus’ lap. “Well done, really. How were the interviews?”

Dorcas’ blush was evident even in the low lighting of the common room. Lily threw a glance at Marlene and was met with a decidedly smug smirk.

“The interviews. Those. Yes, I did… those. They were fine. The girls mostly just talked about… brooms. And beaters' abs. I mean bats!” Dorcas stuttered.

“Beaters’… ok then. Sounds fun,” Sirius replied.

“Oh, it was,” Marlene drawled. Dorcas looked at her for a second and looked away, barely able to meet Marlene’s heated gaze.

“That reminds me, Lily, I need to talk to you and James about something,” Dorcas said, begging Lily with her eyes to help.

“Yeah, alright. JAMES!” Lily shouted. James looked over from where he was now talking to one of the chasers.

“Yeah?!” He shouted back.

“Cas needs to talk to us!”

“Bring her over here then!”

“Right. C’mon, Cas,” Lily said, grabbing Dorcas’s arm and dragging her through the crowd.

“What’s up?” James asked when they reached him. Dorcas began to speak, but winced when a particularly loud song began to play.

“Shit, c’mon, let’s go somewhere more quiet,” James said, pulling both of them out of the common room.

Once they were in a hallway, Dorcas seemed to breathe a bit easier. Lily felt guilty that she hadn’t even noticed her friend’s discomfort.

“Better?” James questioned. Lily pushed down her guilt. It would do no good, and the situation was no longer an issue.

“Yeah, loads. Sorry to take you away from the party, you didn’t have to leave, I could’ve handled-“ Dorcas began to ramble slightly. Perhaps the situation still needed handling.

“Cas, babe, it’s not an issue. I’m sure you could’ve handled it, but you don’t need to. This is ok, and you don’t need to be embarrassed to ask to leave if it’s too loud,” Lily said. “I sometimes have to leave the room if it’s too bright. It’s not weird, it’s just that we get overwhelmed. Nothing wrong with it.”

“Yeah?” Dorcas asked hesitantly. Shyly. Lily’s heart ached for a moment. How had she missed such a big issue for her friend?

“Yeah. Now, go on, what did you need to tell us?” James asked.

“I walked in on Marlene while she was shirtless and holy fucking fuck she has washboard abs.”

——————————————————————————————

At three am, the party was over, but Lily was still awake. Tossing and turning, she just couldn’t fall asleep. Her mind was racing.

Things at Hogwarts were happening fast. And they weren’t all good. She couldn’t get Winnie Shacklebolt’s face out of her head. She had seen it before it happened in her dream. Not the exact murder, but she had dreamt of a similar scene. Why? What the hell did that mean?

Lily looked at the clock. Realizing her attempts to go to sleep would amount to nothing, she groaned and pushed the covers off, rising from her bed.

The hallways were dark as Lily walked around. Walking through Hogwarts at night was risky, but she had been doing it since second year, and she was pretty good at knowing where the patrollers would be.

She walked aimlessly for awhile, nodding at the inhabitants of paintings she recognized, occasionally stopping to have a chat. The paintings were often ignored at Hogwarts, but they always had the best gossip, being that they were in prime positions to overhear things constantly.

Overhearing things can be the worst curse of all.