Golden Years

Dear Lily,

Have you been driven mad by Petunia yet? The tragedy at school and then coming home to that does not make a stable mind. Take care of yourself, babe, even if that means escaping and running away into the city. Oh wait, you live in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t a city. Never mind, you brought this on yourself.

The Potters are really nice. Soon as I got here they told me that I was welcome anytime and that they were happy to have me. And Sirius wasn’t kidding, the house is huge. My room is the size of my old kitchen. Plus, they’ve got quidditch hoops in the backyard! How great is that? I don’t have to stop training over the break!

Cas came over yesterday, early in the morning. I thought she was looking for James but she said she was looking for me. She was looking for me, Lily! We ended up hanging out for awhile while everyone else was still asleep. We climbed on top of the broom shed and watched the sunrise and have you seen Cas when the sun is rising and the light is soft and everything is quiet and all you can hear is her laughing at a joke and all you can see is her eyes becoming gold in the light? I’m fully aware that was grossly sappy but I’m not starting this whole letter over, so suffer through my gay crisis with me.

All my love,
Marlene

——————————————————————————————

Dear Marlene,

Petunia’s not really around much, she’s got this new boyfriend she’s spending time with. He looks like a walrus. You’d hate him.

No, my real problem is Snape. He keeps coming around and trying to get me to talk to him. He’s not even apologizing for his blatant racism, and it’s getting creepier and creepier. I might ask my parents if I can stay with you and James until the end of the break after the Christmas party.

In regards to your gay crisis: what the fuck that’s so gay. Like sweet mother of Merlin, Marly, that shit is the gayest. Ask her out, kiss her, sleep with her, alleviate the tension somehow. Christ you’re useless.

Only some of my love because I don’t care that much,
Lily

——————————————————————————————

Dear Evans,

Marly told me about you maybe asking your parents to stay here for awhile. My parents are cool with it, so if you get the go ahead from yours it’s all fine.

Did Cas tell you about her gay-ass sunrise date with Marlene? I swear to god, we’ll all be old and grey before they get together. I had to hear about it twice from the two of them, and I won’t survive this much longer. I’m in desperate need of back-up. The mix-up date didn’t work, so what will? I mean, christ, what’s it gonna take?

On another topic: Marlene told me about Snape. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear about this from, especially because of last year. I really am sorry about that. Anyway, if you’re willing to take my advice, might I suggest using a protection spell? There’s one I know of where you can specify exactly who you don’t want within the borders of the spell. Granted, you’d have to get an adult to do it, but since he can’t even use magic he wouldn’t be able to get around it.

Hope you’re excited for Christmas,
James

——————————————————————————————

Dear Potter,

My parents agreed to let me stay over. I’ll probably just bring a bag over when I show up for the party? Is that ok?

Marly told me about the sunrise date. They’re so useless. What’s the next plan we had? Gryffindor Scores And So Does Dorcas? If the mix-up date didn’t work, maybe we just move on to that?

As for the Snape thing: I don’t mind you giving me advice. It was actually a good idea. I just, I miss the person who I thought he was, you know? He used to be sweet, and smart, and he didn’t really like other people but that made me feel special. I also thought he was one of the few guy friends I had who wasn’t just being nice to get in my pants, but I guess I was wrong about that. Have you ever believed the best in someone and found out you were wrong? Is it always that painful?

Sincerely, (god, what kind of ending is that?)
Lily

——————————————————————————————

Dear Evans,

Yeah, you just bringing your stuff when you show up to the party is fine. And as for the believing in someone thing, yeah. I’ve believed that someone would never hurt someone else except in self-defense, and I was wrong. But it was a one-time thing, and he’s been trying harder and doing better ever since. He was having a rough go of it at the time, and he didn’t really mean any harm, but it was seriously bad and could have screwed over a lot of people that deserved better. Not really the same situation, but similar, I guess? The difference is this guy has been trying to redeem himself ever since, whereas Snape has been stalking you. Don’t be afraid to hit him, Evans, you and I both know you’ve got a mean right-hook.

Sincerely, (it’s not so bad of an ending)
James

——————————————————————————————

Finally, Christmas Day arrived. It was quiet in the Evans’ household. They opened presents together in the morning. Lily laughed quietly at the face Petunia made at the horrendous scarf Lily had bought her. Petunia got Lily a pair of socks and a pencil. Lily couldn’t quite tell exactly how spiteful Petunia was feeling when she bought it, but it broke the second Lily tried to use it.

Their parents, as always, were quiet and oblivious. Lily’s dad went outside to smoke a cigar and read the paper, and her mum went to start cooking dinner for later that night. Apparently, Vernon and his family were coming over. Lily couldn’t articulate how excited she was that she would be gone before they arrived.

The Potters were coming at three to bring her to their house, so Lily began to pack her things. Mostly clothes, but she also brought along a few records and a camera. She had every intention of getting photographic evidence of Dorcas and Marlene flirting so that the next time one of them was insecure about losing the other she could smack them in the face with it.

Lily hummed to herself as she packed, looking around to see if there was anything she needed that she had forgotten. That was when she heard a strange sound, like something hit her window. Then it happened again.

Lily grabbed her wand and crept slowly towards the window. She flung the curtains back and looked out.

Severus Snape was outside, throwing rocks at her window.

——————————————————————————————

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” Lily said as she marched towards Snape.

“I had to get your attention somehow,” he replied. He looked remorseful, but Lily could see past that now.

“Yeah, well next time take the hint that I don’t want to see you. Leave. Now.” Lily’s tone left no room for argument, but Snape tried anyway.

“Lily, are we really going to let a little difference of opinion destroy our friendship forever-“

“Am I going to let a little thing like bigotry and racism destroy our friendship, hmmm, what a question, let me think. Yes, I absolutely am. Get away and stay away, Snape. We’re done.” Lily turned and began to walk away.

“Lily, I’m the only one that can keep you safe,” Snape called after her.

“From what? Your Death Eater pals? No thanks, I can protect myself,” Lily replied.

“You think death will stop its march for you? Grow up, Lily.”

Lily stopped and turned around slowly. “What did you just say?”

Snape smiled in a way that Lily supposed he thought was charming. “ I said you need to grow up. I can protect you, you’ll be safe-“

“Death’s march? That sounds really familiar for some reason. Tell me, Snape, why was that the phrase you used?”

“Lily-“

“I wonder where I’ve heard it before. Oh right, I didn’t hear it, I saw it written in latin with a little girl’s blood. But I guess you don’t care because her blood wasn’t pure, huh?” Lily’s hands were balled into fists, her knuckles turning white as she held herself back.

“Lily, please, you can’t think I had something to do with that?” Snape pleaded.

“I don’t know, Snape. I very clearly never knew you at all. Get off my property, and if you try to talk to me again, I don’t care if I get expelled, I’ll hex you so hard you won’t be able to walk in a straight line for a month,” Lily threatened.

“Fine. But just know that no matter what I’ll care for you. Always,” Snape said.

“That’s creepy as shit!” Lily called over her shoulder as she walked inside, slamming the door for good measure.

Lily leaned back against the door, running a hand through her hair. She glanced at the clock, straightening up when she saw the time. It was 1:45, and the Potters would be there any second.

——————————————————————————————

Lily was pacing in the living room, her suitcase on the couch. The clock now read 1:54.

“Do you think you might be a little too nervous about this?” Lily’s father asked from his armchair, barely looking up from his book.

“I’m not nervous. I’m excited,” Lily replied.

“Then why the pacing?”

“Maybe she’s worried about sleeping with him.” Petunia walked down the stairs, throwing a nasty look at Lily.

“What? Lily, are you-“ her dad began to stand up, indignant and upset.

“No, Dad!” Lily said, glaring at Petunia. “James and I are just friends. I’m only friends with everyone there. You would know if I was seeing someone, and I’m sixteen, I’m not sleeping with anyone.”

“Alright then, be sure to keep it that way,” he said, returning to his book. Petunia left in a huff, obviously upset that her attempts to mess with Lily’s plans had failed.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Lily practically ran to get the door.

“James,” she said, tackling him into a hug.

“Hey there, Evans,” James laughed, hugging her back. “And here I thought you hated me.”

“I am so excited to be out of here,” Lily said.

“Damn, babe, ignoring me to jump Potter? That’s low.” Marlene appeared behind James, alongside a woman Lily assumed was James’ mother.

“Marly!” Lily grabbed Marlene and hugged her too.

“Petunia trying to drive you crazy?” Marlene whispered in Lily’s ear.

“No, but Snape is,” Lily replied. Marlene squeezed her a bit tighter.

“Ready to head out?” The woman standing nearby asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Lily answered.

“Oh, none of that,” she laughed. “Call me Euphemia, darling, ma’am makes me feel old, and I don’t need anything else doing that.”

“Alright. Let me just go grab my things and say goodbye to my parents,” Lily said.

“Ooh, can I come? I miss Mrs. Evans, she always gave me sweets for Christmas,” Marlene said.

“Yeah, alright, come on,” Lily replied, heading inside. “Mum, Dad, I’m leaving now!”

“Wait, let me hug you,” Lily’s mother called. Lily walked into the kitchen.

“Alright, darling, stay safe and be sweet, alright?” Her mum paused her cooking to wrap her arms around Lily.

“I’ll make sure she is, Mrs. Evans.“ Marlene bounced into the kitchen.

“Oh, Marlene! How lovely to see you, I have something for you here.” Mrs. Evans walked into the pantry, rummaging around for a bit before coming out with a bag of sweets, handing them to Marlene.

“Thanks Mrs. Evans,” Marlene said cheerfully, hugging the woman before grabbing Lily’s suitcase. “I think we’re headed off, Lils, so I’m gonna bring this out for you.”

“Thanks babe,” Lily responded. “Bye Mum!”

“Bye Lily! Have fun!”

“Got everything then?” Euphemia asked as Lily shut the front door behind her.

“Yes ma’am,” Lily answered.

“Again, dear, just call me Euphemia. And do hold on tight,” Euphemia said. Lily took hold of her arm with Marlene and James, and in a flash, they Disapparated.

——————————————————————————————

They landed in the parlor of James’ house. Lily, the second her head stopped spinning, looked around in wonder. The room was probably bigger than her living room and kitchen combined, and it was certainly nicer.

“C’mon, your room is right next to mine,” Marlene said. “Everyone is showing up for the party around 5, but Sirius, Remus, and Cas are here now.”

“Good,” Lily said. “Because I have something to tell you guys, and I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”

“Not gonna like what?” James asked, walking up to them with Lily’s suitcase.

“Lily has news,” Marlene replied. “Let’s get your stuff in your room and you can tell us there.”

It took few minutes to get to Lily’s room. The Potters’ house was huge, and with all the twists and turns Lily knew she was definitely going to get lost.

They arrived in a long hallway, on the second floor of the house. Marlene pointed at a door on the right. “That one’s mine, the one on the left is yours.”

Lily walked in. The room was simple and spacious. There was a bed with a deep blue comforter, a dresser on the adjacent wall next to what Lily assumed was the bathroom door, a small table with chairs, and a bookcase. There was another door on the opposite wall to the bed.

“Yeah, you get your own balcony,” James said. “The sun will be in your eyes when you wake up though. Sorry if that’s an issue.”

“No, James, this is perfect.” Lily smiled at him for a few seconds before sobering. “But I really do need to tell you guys something.”

“Yeah, let me just get the others,” James responded, leaving to find Sirius, Remus, and Dorcas.

“Snape?” Marlene asked gravely. Lily nodded, moving to sit on the bed. Marlene sat beside her. Lily reached for her wrist.

“Remember when you first started doing that?” Marlene asked with a small grin.

“Yeah,” Lily laughed. “To be fair, it still is comforting.”

“Yeah but how many people develop a habit because they needed to break out of an existential despair?”

“That’s how I’ve formed most of my habits,” Sirius said as he walked in. “But what habit does Lily have?”

“Holding on to Marlene’s wrist to check her pulse,” Dorcas answered for Lily as she entered, Remus and James following closely behind her. “Lily went into a spiral sometime in fourth year, talking about how maybe nothing exists and we’re not real. She was up until like two a.m. talking about it until Marlene grabbed her, put her hand on her wrist, and asked if Lily could feel her pulse.”

“When I said yes, you asked if that meant you were alive, and when I said yeah, you said that if you’re alive, you must exist,” Lily reminisced, looking at Marlene. “Ever since then, when I’m losing it, I grab your wrist and check your pulse.”

“You guys are sappy today. Did someone die?” Marlene asked.

“Welp, there it is. Moment officially ruined,” Remus said. “I knew it would be either Marlene or Sirius.”

“Shut up,” Sirius said. “I thought we were here because Lily has gossip?”

“I do, but you’re not gonna like it,” Lily replied. “It starts with rocks hitting my window…”

——————————————————————————————

“Damn,” Remus said after Lily relayed the story to them. “You want me to set up a protection spell? I’m a legal adult in the wizarding world now, I totally could.”

“That might be nice,” Lily responded.

“Are you sure he mentioned death marching and all that shit?” Sirius asked.

“Yep,” Lily said. “Which means he had to be involved, right?”

“Well, yeah, that’s a good theory, but it could be that he just heard it from the people who did it and thought it was ominous and dramatic enough for him to use it,” James mused.

“Since when do you think Snivellus is innocent? Sirius asked.

“We have to give benefit of the doubt,” James replied coolly. “He may be a bigot, but that doesn’t automatically make him a murderer.”

“He’s using the murderer’s catchphrase though,” Remus said.

“Yeah, but James is right, he may have just heard it and decided it sounded just right, the dramatic evil git,” Marlene replied. “Innocent until proven guilty, but maybe we start trying to prove he’s guilty.”

“Yeah. Nothing we can do without proof,” Sirius said.

Everyone fell silent, contemplating the situation. The mood darkened considerably. It was James who noticed this.

“Hey!” He said loudly, startling Sirius enough that he almost fell off of Remus’ lap where he was perched. “We have a party to got to. Lighten up, everyone, it’s the holidays! We’re free from schoolwork and we have a party to get to!”

“Yeah,” Lily responded, snapping out of her thoughts. “C’mon, guys, let’s get ready. Alice, Frank, Mary, and Peter will be here soon, along with the rest of the guests. Let’s get ready.”

“Alright,” Marlene said. “Nothing like good Potter house party. James, you take the boys to get ready. No, Remus, you can’t just wear a sweater vest,” she sighed when Remus raised his hand to speak. James and Sirius snickered as he lowered his hand, pouting.

“Alright,” James said as he got up and herded the other boys out. “See you all in a bit. And remember, it’s a nice party, but you don’t have to dress that fancy. Just nice.”

“Too bad, we’re gonna look fantastic,” Dorcas replied. “And you can be sure about that.”

——————————————————————————————

“Are you sure about this?” Lily asked, looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a simple black dress that hugged her curves and flared out to end just above her knees. She liked the way she looked, but she wasn’t sure it was quite nice enough for the party.

“Yeah, Lils, you look great. Your boy is gonna be drooling all over you,” Dorcas answered.

“Thanks, I really hope Remus will like it,” Lily joked.

“Funny, aren’t you? But she’s right, James will be tripping over his own feet when he sees you. And you can’t hide behind sarcasm anymore, you admitted to liking him,” Marlene called from inside the bathroom.

“I may have a tiny crush on him, but that’s it and I’ll get over it,” Lily said. She wasn’t really a fan of pretending to like James, but at least it was easier now that they were friends. And she could do worse, she thought to herself. Potter was kind, funny, and not exactly awful-looking.

“No you won’t. Because Cas and I are going to get you two together,” Marlene said as she exited the bathroom.

“Oh my god,” Dorcas breathed out as she saw Marlene.

“What, are you in awe of my planning skills?” Marlene teased.

“No, I just…” Dorcas huffed out a small laugh at her own stuttering. “God, Marls, you’re gorgeous.”

“You think?” Marlene asked, ducking her head but keeping her eyes on Dorcas. She was wearing a deep blue dress that matched her eyes, simple but it seemed glamorous when worn with the confidence Marlene had. The outfit was completed with a silver necklace with a pendant shaped like two gears fitting together.

“Yeah, I do,” Dorcas replied, unable to take her eyes off Marlene. Which was fortunate, because neither girl noticed Lily taking pictures of them.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Cas,” Marlene said. Dorcas was wearing a red dress that complimented her dark skin perfectly. It was longer than the other two, ending at the middle of her calf. The matching red heels meant that Dorcas was finally as tall as Marlene, but even at eye level, the two weren’t making eye contact, but in fact staring at each other’s lips.

Lily tried to quietly sneak out of the room so as not to interrupt the moment, but unfortunately, Marlene noticed.

“And where do you think you’re going, young lady?”

“Trying to sneak out so I could avoid you so you couldn’t set me up with Potter?” Lily tried.

“Oh no, you’re not avoiding this,” Dorcas responded. “We’re getting you your man, Lily.”

“Goddamnit,” Lily said, trying to play the role she had to.

But really, she was forming a plan. Christmas decorations always included mistletoe, right?

——————————————————————————————

The party was in full swing by the time the girls walked down the stairs.

“I’m gonna go find the guys,” Lily said.

“Alright. We’re gonna go get some drinks or something,” Marlene replied, tugging Dorcas away and into the crowd.

“Excellent,” Lily said to herself. “It’s all going to plan.” She laughed to herself evilly before realizing that she looked like a dumbass and went to find James.

She wandered around for awhile looking for him before she found him small-talking with some Ministry official.

“Oh, Lily. Wow, you look… incredible,” James said as she approached. Lily blushed a bit. Why the hell am I blushing, she thought to herself.

“Thanks. Look, there’s been a new development in the plan,” Lily responded.

“Oh, really? I’m sorry, Martin, this is something I’ve got to take care of. Rain check on that lunch meeting?” James said, not waiting for a response before walking away, pulling lily along with him.

“Who was that guy?” Lily asked.

James chuckled. “That was Martin, he’s a secretary for the auror office at the Ministry. He wants me to ask my dad to give him a raise.”

“He told you that?” Lily asked.

“No, but I’ve learned to read between the lines,” James replied. “Now what’s happening with Dorlene?”

“They just had a big gay moment over seeing each other all dressed up. Do you have mistletoe anywhere?” Lily asked as they entered the kitchen, which was mercifully empty.

“I’m not surprised. Uh, I think we have mistletoe hanging in some doorways. Why?” James asked as Lily hopped up to sit on the counter, which actually brought her to the same height as James. Lily hadn’t noticed how tall he was before.

“Because I’m going to get Dorcas and Marlene under the mistletoe so they have to kiss,” Lily explained, pushing away thoughts of how tall James was.

“Oh, that’s actually really simple. Why didn’t I think of that?” James grinned. “I think there’s some hanging in the doorway of the ballroom.”

“There’s a ballroom?” Lily asked in awe. “Wait, never mind, not the point. You head over there, I’m gonna find them and bring them there.”

“Got it.” James said. “Where are they now?”

“They said they were getting drinks,” Lily replied.

“Ok, then they’re near the ballroom already. Just g back to the parlor and head to the right, you’ll find them and then just keep heading right.”

“Got it,” Lily said, already halfway out the door.

——————————————————————————————

Lily was in the parlor when everything went to shit.

“Lily!” She heard a voice call. She turned around.

“Alice!” She said, going to hug her friend.

“Hey, you look good. Trying to impress someone?” Alice asked.

“Trying to get Dorlene together actually,” Lily replied.

“Oh cool. Can we help?” Frank asked as Lily hugged him too.

“Actually I think I got this. You guys go have fun,” Lily said.

“Oh we will.” Alice winked.

“Not that kind of fun,” Lily groaned as the couple left. She turned around to head to the ballroom when she noticed a strange figure in the corner, a man seemingly hunched over and muttering.

“Er, excuse me?” Lily called. The figure ignored her. “Are you alright?”

The man whipped around and pulled out a wand.

And that was the last thing Lily remembered before waking up outside, the Potters’ house on fire before her.