Chapter 1
Everything Bella needed was in the suitcase. And the suitcase was already in the trunk. For a moment Bella looked back on her room. She was sure that she was going to miss it. Seeing the cacti right out of her window, the massive street that cars rushed down all day and night long. This was home. Here in Arizona she had spent most of her life with her mom. But now she was going to exchange the heat and the sun and the cacti for rain and trees and rain and trees only. In that last moment in her room she wasn’t sure if maybe she shouldn’t turn around, now that she still had the chance. But at the same time Bella hated the heat. It was always too hot, too bright, too loud. She didn’t like the city.
At least in Forks she would have the possibility to start all over. She had never seemed to fit into Phoenix. Maybe Forks was where she would finally be able to be herself. Maybe it’s where she had always belonged. If her parents hadn’t divorced, maybe she would already live there. To Bella Forks seemed to be the place she should be at. Especially now, when everything had changed with her mom falling in love again. Bella also liked Phil but she didn’t like the way she always felt in the way when her mom and Phil were going on about romantic things.
For another second Bella hesitated. But she felt like it was the right thing to do. She was going to miss her mom- nothing else. And maybe living with her dad wouldn’t be too bad after all. She barely remembered him. Only from the few summers she spent with him, but at a certain point she refused to visit Forks. She thought that maybe if she were in Phoenix for the summer, she would have the chance to make friends. She didn’t make any friends. Maybe some little friendships but they always faded away quickly.
So maybe, in Forks, she would be the cool girl for once. Bella didn’t dare to hope for it, but she liked to imagine it. A little daydream playing in her head all the time, mostly during school though.
Bella sighed and took her last few things she wanted to keep: her copy of “Romeo & Juliet” and a potted cactus that her mom had gifted her. Bella wasn’t good with plants at all, but she didn’t want to leave it behind. Possibly the cactus would die anyway in the rain of Washington. Still, Bella didn’t dare to imagine how her mother would feel if she left the cactus behind.
One last glance at her bed, then she closed the door behind her room. Bella carefully walked down the stairs, trying not to drop the cactus or the book.
“You ready?”
Her mom leant at the car smiling brightly. Bella wondered how her mom was able to be so happy, beaming with energy all the time. No matter how hard Bella tried, she never got to even pretending to be as happy as her mother. Not as happy, not as cool, not as full of life. Sometimes Bella thought that her mother was more a child than she was.
“As ready as can be.” Bella forced herself to smile; to match her mothers enthusiasm at least a little bit. It’s not that Bella wasn’t excited to go to Forks, but she always felt kind of out of touch with happiness. It has never been different, it has always been this way, but in the back of her mind Bella was convinced that there was something severely wrong with her. Maybe that was
The whole ride to the airport her mom was jamming out to songs, talking about how much she was going to miss her little girl “so grown up” and reminiscing in memories from when she lived in Forks. Bella stayed quiet. In her head she was busy with making a list of possible accidents that might happen to her in the next 24 hours.
The goodbye was quick and easy. Bella wasn’t a fan of sad crying and hugging without ever letting go of another.
One last “Love you, mom.” Then Bella walked towards the security. Away from the heat into the cold. Away from the sun into the rain. (She didn’t feel as sorry or sad about it as it sounds like it here.)