The weight of silence
The days had blended together in a haze of music and quiet moments. Each day felt like a little victory, as if every note they played together, every lyric they wrote, was building towards something bigger. But there was something else brewing between them—something unspoken, something that neither of them dared to confront.She has never liked someone, a girl or anyone. She didn't know what to do, except to solve it. She fell for Jungeun faster than she ever expected, caught up in the way their laughter felt like home, the way their eyes seemed to understand her without a word. It wasn’t something she planned, but it was undeniable—like a song that played in the background of her life, growing louder with every passing day. Jiyoon couldn't deny it any longer. Her feelings for Jungeun were growing deeper, more complex with every passing day.
It had started with the small things: the way Jungeun’s voice sounded when she hummed along to the songs, soft and melodic, as if she were creating her own little soundtrack for their moments together. Jiyoon found herself captivated by it, as if every note Jungeun sang held a secret only she could understand. There was also the way her laughter seemed to reach into Jiyoon’s heart, effortlessly making everything feel lighter, brighter, as though the world outside their little bubble had faded into the background. It was a sound that stayed with her long after it had faded, echoing in the quiet spaces of her thoughts.
But then, it was the way Jungeun’s gaze would linger on her just a little too long, as if she were trying to memorize every detail of her face. Jiyoon would catch her staring, and her breath would catch in her throat, heart thumping a little faster. Jungeun’s eyes weren’t just looking at her—they seemed to be seeing her in a way that no one else had. It was more than admiration or curiosity; it was an intensity that left Jiyoon wondering if maybe, just maybe, she was seeing something in her too.
No matter how much she tried to push it aside, to convince herself that it was nothing more than a fleeting feeling or a figment of her imagination, Jiyoon couldn’t deny it any longer. There was something growing between them, something that was more than just friendship—something she wasn’t sure she was ready to face. But as she spent more time with Jungeun, as their connection deepened, Jiyoon found herself falling, slowly but surely, into something she couldn’t quite put into words.
And it wasn’t just her gaze. It was the way Jungeun smiled at her. At first, it had been the kind of smile she gave to everyone, warm and friendly, a smile that made people feel comfortable in her presence. But slowly, Jiyoon began to notice the subtle shift that occurred whenever that smile was directed at her. It wasn’t just a simple expression—it was something deeper, something more intimate. It carried a different kind of warmth, one that seemed to wrap around Jiyoon like a soft, reassuring embrace. It wasn’t just the smile itself, but the way it lingered, as if Jungeun’s lips were barely turning up in recognition, as if she were savoring the moment, savoring her presence.
There was a quiet tenderness in that smile, an unspoken affection that made Jiyoon’s heart beat a little faster. It made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time, like she was the only person in the room. In those moments, when their eyes met and Jungeun smiled at her, everything else seemed to fade into the background. The noise of the world, the little distractions of daily life, all seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in a quiet space that felt far more intimate than it should have.
It was as though Jungeun’s smile was a secret just between them, one that spoke volumes without needing words. There was an understanding in it, a knowingness, like Jungeun was sharing something with her that she didn’t share with anyone else. It wasn’t the kind of smile someone gave to gain approval or to ease the tension in a room—it was personal, as if it carried emotions that went beyond the surface. It held something Jiyoon couldn’t quite define but felt deeply in her chest every time she witnessed it.
The more Jiyoon thought about it, the harder it became to ignore. She found herself replaying those moments in her head, each time the same smile lighting up her thoughts, each time leaving her heart a little heavier with the weight of something unspoken. And the more she noticed it, the more she realized how much she looked forward to it—the way her heart would flutter in anticipation every time Jungeun was near, wondering if she would see that smile again.
It wasn’t just a smile; it was a symbol of something more, something Jiyoon wasn’t sure how to handle. She felt a pull toward it, toward Jungeun, as if that smile held the answers to all the questions she had been too afraid to ask. The warmth of it lingered with her long after their interactions had ended, and the more she tried to push it out of her mind, the harder it became to ignore.
And no matter how much she tried to resist, she couldn’t deny the way her heart raced when Jungeun was near. It was as if every nerve in her body was attuned to her presence, every sense heightened whenever she was within arm's reach. The soft sound of Jungeun’s voice, the way she laughed, the way she moved—it all seemed to affect her in a way she couldn’t explain. Jiyoon had always prided herself on being in control of her emotions, but when it came to Jungeun, everything was different.
Her chest tightened whenever their hands brushed, even if it was only for a split second. It could have been completely accidental—perhaps as they passed a notebook between them, or when they reached for the same cup of coffee—but no matter how fleeting the touch was, it lingered in Jiyoon’s mind for hours afterward. It was as if that brief contact sent a spark through her, igniting a feeling that was impossible to ignore. She tried to brush it off, to convince herself that it was nothing, that it was just a simple moment of coincidence. But deep down, she knew that wasn’t true.
There was something about Jungeun that made her feel alive in a way she hadn’t experienced before. Every glance, every shared laugh, every time their hands brushed—it all built something inside her, something she couldn’t control. She tried to push it aside, to focus on other things, to tell herself that it didn’t mean anything. But the more she tried to deny it, the more obvious it became.
Jiyoon had already fallen, and there was no turning back. She could no longer pretend that her heart wasn’t racing whenever Jungeun was near, or that her thoughts didn’t wander to her even when they were apart. The feelings she had tried so hard to ignore were now impossible to escape. It didn’t matter how many times she convinced herself that it was just a fleeting infatuation, that it would pass. It wasn’t going away.
She was caught in the pull of something deeper, something more real than she had ever anticipated. And though part of her wanted to pull away, to protect herself from whatever this was, another part of her wanted to lean into it, to let herself feel the warmth that Jungeun’s presence gave her. The choice was becoming clearer with every passing day, but it was one that terrified her. What if she let her guard down, only to have her heart shattered? What if this—whatever it was—wasn’t real?
But despite the fear that lingered in the back of her mind, the truth was undeniable. She had already fallen, and there was no turning back now.
They were sitting by the river one afternoon, the sound of the water flowing nearby mixing with the soft rustling of the trees. It was supposed to be a peaceful moment, a break from the music, but Jiyoon couldn’t help but feel a tension in the air. She noticed how Jungeun was staring at the water, lost in thought, her usually carefree demeanor replaced with a quiet contemplation.
“Something on your mind?” Jiyoon asked, her voice gentle. She leaned forward slightly, wanting to bridge the distance between them.
Jungeun looked up, startled for a moment before she shook her head. “No, it’s nothing.”
But Jiyoon could see it in her eyes. There was something going on in that quiet head of hers. And it was starting to make Jiyoon feel a little uneasy. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she felt a growing sense of longing every time she caught Jungeun’s gaze or heard her laugh. It was becoming hard to ignore, hard to pretend it wasn’t there.
They returned to the house shortly after that, and Jiyoon tried to shake the feeling off. But it lingered, heavy in the air between them. When they sat down to work on a new song later that evening, the silence between them felt different. Every brush of their hands felt like a spark, a reminder of the unspoken connection building between them.
As they worked together, it happened again. Their hands brushed, and this time, neither of them pulled away. Jiyoon’s heart skipped a beat, her mind racing with thoughts she wasn’t ready to confront. She wanted to say something, to do something, but she didn’t know what. She just looked up at Jungeun, their eyes meeting in that quiet, charged moment.
“Jiyoon…” Jungeun’s voice was almost a whisper, her eyes searching Jiyoon’s face like she was looking for something—an answer, maybe. But before Jiyoon could say anything, her father’s voice cut through the silence, calling them to dinner.
The spell was broken, but the weight of the moment didn’t leave Jiyoon. She felt it in the pit of her stomach, a feeling that both excited and terrified her. What was this? What was happening between them? She couldn’t help but wonder if Jungeun felt the same way. But she didn’t have the courage to ask, not yet.
As they walked back to the house, the evening air cool against their skin, Jiyoon’s thoughts were in chaos. Her heart was pounding in her chest, each beat a loud, rhythmic reminder of the tension that had built between them. The quiet, steady crunch of gravel beneath their feet seemed to echo in her ears, punctuating the silence that hung heavy between them. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted. Something had changed in the air between them, subtle but undeniable.
Her mind raced, replaying the moments before, the way her gaze had met Jungeun’s, the soft vulnerability in her eyes, the way they had both hesitated just a little too long before continuing with their day. It was as though everything had been leading up to this—their accidental touches, the quiet conversations that lingered a little too long, the way their laughter seemed to hold more meaning than it had before. It was all too much for her to make sense of, and yet it felt like everything was becoming clearer at the same time.
She had never felt like this before. Never had someone made her feel both calm and anxious all at once. Never had someone’s presence affected her so deeply, so profoundly. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. Her heart seemed to race with every step she took, every time she glanced over at Jungeun walking beside her. And yet, even in the midst of the storm swirling inside her, there was a strange comfort in the closeness between them, as though she had always known this feeling, even if she hadn’t understood it until now.
Jiyoon’s chest tightened with a mixture of longing and fear. She was scared—scared of what these feelings meant, scared of what they could become. She didn’t know how to handle it, how to navigate the growing pull between them. But there was one thing she knew for certain: she couldn’t ignore it. Not anymore.
The quiet buzzing in her chest grew louder, drowning out the sounds of the world around them. Every breath felt heavy, every step they took toward the house seemed to bring her closer to an inevitable conclusion she wasn’t sure she was ready for. She wanted to say something, anything, but the words felt stuck in her throat. What could she say? How could she explain to Jungeun the whirlwind of emotions crashing through her?
Her mind flickered to the moments they had shared—the way Jungeun had looked at her, the way her touch had lingered just a little longer than necessary, how each smile seemed to hold more than just kindness, but something deeper, more intimate. And Jiyoon had felt it too, hadn’t she? The subtle shift, the way their connection seemed to grow stronger with each passing day, each fleeting glance. She couldn’t pretend it didn’t matter. She couldn’t pretend the way her heart had skipped a beat when their hands brushed, or the way she had felt her entire body come alive when their eyes met across the room.
She was falling for her, and she couldn’t stop it. No matter how much her mind screamed for her to hold back, to keep things simple, to stay in the safe place they had built together, her heart was already too far gone. And the truth was, part of her didn’t want to stop it. She wanted to let herself feel it, to embrace whatever this was, even if it terrified her.
But the fear was still there, lingering at the edges of her thoughts. What if it wasn’t real? What if she was reading too much into everything? What if Jungeun didn’t feel the same way? What if everything she was sensing was just her own wishful thinking, her own heart getting carried away with something that was never meant to be?
The closer they got to the house, the more Jiyoon struggled to keep her thoughts from spiraling. She wanted to say something, but the words felt trapped in her chest. How could she possibly explain this to Jungeun without sounding like she was overreacting? How could she put into words the way her heart seemed to ache every time Jungeun was near, the way she felt an overwhelming desire to be close to her, to share everything with her?
She glanced at Jungeun, who was walking quietly beside her, her expression unreadable. Was she feeling the same thing? Was she as conflicted as Jiyoon was? Or was Jiyoon just projecting her own emotions onto someone who didn’t feel the same way?
The weight of the question pressed down on her, and she felt the knot in her stomach tighten with uncertainty. She wanted to ask, to confront it head-on, but part of her was scared of what the answer might be. What if she was wrong? What if this was just her imagination running wild? The thought of ruining their friendship, of making things awkward between them, was almost too much to bear.
They reached the house, and Jiyoon felt a reluctant sense of relief. At least here, she could focus on something else for a moment. But as she turned toward the door, she couldn’t help but glance at Jungeun once more. The soft glow of the setting sun bathed her face in a warm light, and for a brief moment, Jiyoon forgot everything else. She forgot her fears, her doubts, her worries. All she could see was Jungeun, standing so close, her eyes soft, her presence grounding her in a way no one else could.
And in that moment, Jiyoon knew one thing for sure: whatever happened next, she wouldn’t be able to forget this. She wouldn’t be able to ignore the way her heart had suddenly become so intertwined with Jungeun’s, no matter how uncertain or difficult it was. It was a feeling she had never known before, but it was real. And no matter how much she tried to fight it, she was in it—completely and undeniably.