Oh, What a World
Chapter 47: Oh, What a World
“Did you know this is my favorite thing to do with you at this time every year?”
Ira squeezed Tawan, who was seated between her legs with her back to her front, and pressed a long kiss to the back of her head. Tawan smiled blissfully as she melted into her warm touch and stared at their Christmas tree having just completed it an hour ago. They were sitting on the floor in front of their spot on the couch a few feet away from what they thought was their best work and got the seal of approval from the twins.
Ira looked behind them to check on Star and Sammy who were fast asleep on the couch, snuggled under a blanket as they dreamed about what they were getting for Christmas. She smiled at their most precious gifts then turned back to their mother to kiss the back of her head again, thanking her for their life. Tawan was struck, always mesmerized at how the lights glittered and bounced off one another, their reflections lighting her eyes as a random Christmas song hummed in her head.
“I love when you hold me and we just watch it,” Tawan smiled, holding her forearms and kissing them. “This might be our best work.”
Ira smiled against her hair and rocked them a bit. “I agree,” she said.
Tawan suddenly got an idea and patted her thighs. “Let’s put them to bed and have some wine while the night is still young,” she posited, scratching her fingers on her thighs.
“Deal,” she agreed, not needing much convincing.
Tawan chuckled as she turned her head around to kiss her before standing to reach her hands down and help her up. Before she let go, Tawan tugged her by her hands to make her fall into her for a hug. Ira giggled as she wrapped her arms around her upper arms to trap her and pepper her face with kisses. Lately, Tawan was more affectionate and touchy than usual, but she was genuinely prompted to do so.
After everything that had happened, most specifically after their fight, Tawan wanted to waste no time in not ever showing Ira just how much she loved and desired her. Every interaction with her would have the intensity and love like she would never see her again, leaving no stone unturned.
Life was too short to not say and do the things you wanted. She wanted not just Ira, but all of her loved ones to know how she felt about them at all times. Whether it was finding the courage to be honest and open about something or even just telling them she loved them, she never wanted them to wonder how she felt about them or how important they were to her.
As promised, Tawan sat Ira down about a week after their talk about therapy to talk about a personal security. At first, Ira was against the idea because she did not like the thought of a team or someone following her around and directing her on what she could and could not do. She already felt stuffy dealing with the after effects of the incident at the awards ceremony, so to add a stranger or strangers acting like her shadow was making her feel even more paranoid, rigid, and restricted.
However, Tawan was prepared and she gently pushed her to it by explaining that it was more for her rising star as a celebrity than it was about Lai. She showed her the article they had wrote about personal security for idols and told her about her conversation with her father. It was not to pressure her to do anything she did not want to do, rather, it was both to remind her of her responsibility as a wife and mother and that of a parent's duty to do right by their children within reason, of course.
In the end, Ira knew she was right and she wanted to ease her parents and family's worries as much as possible now that everything was exposed and her job opportunities rose higher and higher. Her responsibility as a wife and mother was to not only protect herself but them from worry, as well. For them all more than herself, she would do this no questions asked.
So, she and Tawan sat down to interview almost a dozen candidates before they settled on the perfect choice that made Ira comfortable and fit her needs exactly. With it being a team effort and knowing it would alleviate her wife's worries being apart of the selection process, Ira realized more than ever that this was the right choice. They decided on a single guard rather than a full team, and they chose a woman so Ira could both relate to her and she could blend in when they were out in public.
Han fit right along perfectly in their world, so much so that Ira sometimes forgot she was the body guard. Mali even joked that she was so good at blending in that she would sometimes forget she was apart of their entourage as security when they entered events. Overall, Ira fell into ease and step with Han as they established a strong and respectful working relationship that made her more accepting of the role she would play during her career events.
She had came into the world of personal security with her wife and they now owned their own business providing services for a range of clientele. Her also being a member of the LGBTQ+ community was icing on the cake for Tawan and Ira when they interviewed her. Han was a few years older than Tawan, presented a stoic & focused demeanor, was built like a semi-buff runner, was a few centimeters taller than Ira, had almost a decade of experience in the field, and had so many glowing recommendations. The choice was both simple and easy.
Prior to entering the field, Han had played professional basketball for a few years before a knee injury ended her promising career early. The twins, especially Star, were fascinated by this information, so every time they were around her they would bombard her with questions and ask her to shoot some hoops with them when permitted. Han, the gentle giant she was, would smile and nod every single time as she thought about her 12 year old daughter. Tawan and Ira's decision just kept reaffirming itself, their minds at even more ease with their selection.
Though the bodyguard was all for Ira, she would also be of service to the family if she was on the clock when they did things together.
Along with this, Ira also started therapy about two weeks after they had argued about it and had been in consecutive, scheduled twice weekly sessions ever since. It had only been about two months, and there was still so much for her to get comfortable with sharing, but she had made considerable efforts. She was establishing comfort and trust with her therapist, a woman she heavily researched for who specialized in trauma and abuse, and each session she felt herself being chipped away for exposure.
Every session felt like childbirth by the end which made it easier to share things as she felt like a weight leave her shoulders, her authentic personality of being an organic talker slowly poking it's head out.
On top of this, she was able to share her story a few weeks after the injunction filing on her own terms in a released statement to the public. Though they wanted to keep this matter private, and especially because both sides were trying to keep a lid on it, her mother informed her from experience that it would only be a matter of time before someone found out about it and sold it for clicks. She hated to be that blunt, but she wanted her daughter to have all the information at her disposal the same as any other client of hers.
That is what prompted Ira to form her own statement. And it seemed to touch every corner of the world in the smallest and biggest ways.
Ira thought she would be more embarrassed about this, mostly about her family and friends all finding out and thinking they would pity her or blame her thinking she was weak to let it happen. Instead, everyone immediately showered her with nothing but love and support and praise for her bravery. No one treated her differently or saw the things she feared they would be able to pinpoint that made her insecure.
This reaffirmed to her that she had some special people in her life that truly loved her and wished nothing but the best for her.
As for the public, her nerves of everyone knowing such a private matter were almost immediately squashed as the encouragement and admiration from them poured over her. She did not even have time to dwell on her fear of scrutiny. So many women found comfort and courage from her story and so many people could relate to her dark past and how it affected her.
Though there were the negative people and general haters who were so miserable and detested themselves so much that they wanted to put that on her, the majority reached out to offer so much of their love and support that it drowned them out. Ira had unknowingly spearheaded something like a movement for victims of assault when other fellow celebrities joined her with their range of stories, and it sparked much needed and long overdue conversations. It was all worth it in the end.
As for Lai, she ran away to the shadows as everything came out and exposed her for who she really was so profoundly. Whether or not it was mostly her decision to do so remained to be seen, but the rumor was her father forced her into hiding to not bring any further shame on their family. What they did know was that her mother was devastated by the news because she accompanied her to court.
Lai was immediately let go from Vibe/Me once all the allegations came to light and her guilty verdict sealed her fate. Meena was still in the know for some of the gossip at their former employer mostly because her protege was thrusted into her position as she waited on FleurDe to be able to take on more employees. She informed her former mentor that Mr. Tek's head practically shot off his shoulders through the many floors above them.
If not for the seriousness of the situation, Tawan would have been hysterically laughing at the image. She had every right to be vengeful and to bitterly wish nothing but the worst for Mr. Tek after their fallout, but, instead, she was thankful for him pushing her out of that toxic environment that drained so much of her energy and happiness having to work under him. In the end, she had won so much and he had lost so much.
There was also the fact that had she stayed and found out who Lai really was then she may have tossed her out of a window.
Mr. Tek had called and was profusely apologizing, practically begging for forgiveness from Tawan and by extension Ira. Tawan briefly thought about being petty and going off on him for not properly vetting Lai and throwing so many peoples lives into disarray with his hasty and poor business decision, but it did not matter to her anymore. She was beyond happy where she was at right now and would not change the path to this destination except to relieve her wife of her pain.
The icing on the cake, however, was Mr. Tek ending the call almost begrudgingly congratulating her on her success with the magazine and her win for writing at the award show. Despite his anger at being defeated, even after having used a partial idea of Tawan's as the nomination, he could not deny nor escape how significant her win was on top of all the buzz about her magazine. Many of his peers and industry associates wanted the insider information on how this all came about since Tawan was quickly rising to amongst the top of many peoples' reading list.
It was as if Tawan immediately started splashing across the front pages with her freelance work and paparazzi photos at Ira's shows and events. Mr. Tek cursed himself so many times he lost count because he had tossed Tawan from the bird's nest, thinking she would immediately hit the ground, but she ended up finding her wings and the wind beneath them. He had came to terms that he had made a horrible and embarrassing decision in firing her and hiring Lai as her replacement, and it was confirmed by his peers looking at him so pitiful, like he was absolutely stupid, at events and especially after the award show.
He gambled on Lai, but Tawan was the jackpot.
Tawan actually put her cellphone on speaker so Ira could hear and she stuck her tongue out at him as they could very clearly hear him coming to terms that he lost something priceless and invaluable.
Lily usually spoke to Tawan at least once a month to check in on her, her family, and if she needed anything since taking over her role. When she found out that Tawan had been fired, she immediately called her to check on her and to lend whatever support she needed. She was furious, to say the least, with how Mr. Tek had treated not only her prodigal daughter, but one of the best people she had ever had the privilege of working with.
Mr. Tek got an earful from Lily to the point he had to move his cellphone away from his ear at how loud she was berating him for his foolishness.
Lily loved Tawan like she was her own family, like the daughter she never had and would always want, and she was so very devastated to hear about what happened to Ira whom she adored. She knew of her as nothing more than the most kindest, gentlest, purest, and most caring soul who would not even hurt a fly. In fact, when Lily retired, it was Ira who planned the party to both see her off on her new adventure and to recognize her for all her contributions.
Ira would never be able to thank Lily enough for giving her wife her confidence.
It was very clear to Lily how much the two women loved each other and the family they had created. That love extended to others who came into their orbit and left their mark on their lives. Lily thought she knew how much Tawan appreciated her, but it was her bringing her into her family, her deepest fold and most prized possession, that really brought it all home for her.
Mr. Tek was hit with a sudden force that spread pain across his chest and made the color drain from his face as Lily relentlessly hammered into him. His fears about his magazine going under suddenly became so much more real, and he realized that he would have some tough decisions to make in the near future if he wanted to save his company. His day of reckoning and judgement hit him where it hurt the most, and he was all alone in how to fix it as Vibe/Me employees fell like the petals on a dying flower by going to FleurDe or elsewhere.
When the time came for the court appearance, Ira’s mother was swift and sharp before the judge, asking that Lai be kept away from Ira and that she be held responsible for her assault. Tawan sat as close to Ira as she could from behind to support her, staring daggers at Lai who was staring at her wife as if to ask her to stop all this. Ira sat tall and straight in her seat, ignoring her as she stared straight ahead and listened to her mother defend her.
The judge agreed with them, and he ordered Lai to pay a large and significant compensation to Ira for her pain and suffering on top of lawfully fining her the maximum amount.
He delayed her sentencing for a few weeks o look over her case for proper punishment. In the end, she would serve the maximum amount of jail time of six months, be court ordered for rehabilitation & victim impact programs, and would be ordered to have no contact with Ira ever again or else she would face stricter consequences. Lai lost everything and was practically kept from the public for a few years before she left the country again, this time permanently due to her father's shame and need to keep her in line.
Ira donated all of the money she won in court to a local, grassroots organization that assisted all victims of any kind of abuse. The moment the verdict came in felt like her wings stretching and preparing to take her away to peace and freedom. It was how she found another one of her life's purposes as she handed the check to the director of the shelter in a closed door meeting after a private tour of the building and having met some of the survivors there.
All of this was also another reason for Tawan’s clinginess to Ira, because in all this craziness she wanted to be nothing more than a comfort to her as if she thought she might not have another chance. She also wanted her to never not feel like she was not there for her. At all times, Tawan wanted Ira to feel her presence no matter where she went.
Tawan picked up Sammy, who was starting to become the heavier of the two, and rubbed up his back to keep him from stirring awake as he wrapped his arms around her neck and legs around her middle to tuck his head into her neck, still mostly asleep. She kissed the side of his head and walked them to his bed to carefully lay him down. Ira was right behind her with Star, pressing kisses to her cheek the whole way and scratching her fingers over her back.
They both had the same thought that they wished they could freeze time and keep them this small forever.
Ira carefully laid Star down onto her pillows slowly then quietly disentangled her arms from around her neck. She turned on her side and yawned, tucking her hands under her little head and snuggling into her pillow. Ira smiled at how peaceful she looked for a second then pressed a kiss to her cheek as she tucked her covers around her. She whispered she loved her by her ear then stood to do the same to Sammy.
Tawan ran her fingers tenderly over Sammy’s hair as she stared at him dream in peace. She leaned over and put her lips to his temple, her fingers still scratching his head, and whispered that she loved him and to have a goodnight. Ira approached them and combed her fingers through her hair, prompting her to kiss his cheek and stand to say goodnight to their daughter. She repeated herself to Star and Ira repeated herself to Sammy as she brought the covers up over him.
“I’ll go grab the wine,” Ira whispered, hooking her finger into her t-shirt collar to give her a quick kiss.
“I’ll start us a small fire out back,” Tawan whispered back, grabbing her hip and squeezing.
Ira smiled and pecked her lips one more time before she headed to the kitchen. Tawan looked over their children one more time to make sure they were comfortable before turning the light off and cracking their door as she exited. She quickly headed to their backyard to start their fire pit, smiling as she passed Ira in the kitchen pouring them a glass of wine each.
It had been a long time since they sat out back around a fire and she was very much looking forward to it.
Just as Tawan finished her task, tossing a few sticks around to catch the flames, Ira came outside with a sweater on and another one in her hand along with a blanket. She had brought their glasses and the bottle out a moment ago before she thought the last thing they needed were these items to snuggle together with on the lawn chair. She handed Tawan the sweater and made her put it on before tossing their blanket on the lawn chair.
Ira then grabbed their glasses of wine, passing Tawan hers as she stayed knelt before the fire and stared into its enchanting, dancing embers lick the wood.
“Come hold me,” Ira said, sipping her wine. She put her glass down on the table on her side next to the lawn chair before sitting down and throwing the blanket over herself.
Tawan had her head turned to her and watched her the whole time, smiling as she took a few sips of wine. She looked like her old self except that something had changed or shifted. It was something good, like she had something holding her back but now she felt she was in full charge now. She looked like a slightly newer woman, someone who looked more freer than before.
This was so very interesting and intriguing to Tawan because she always felt that Ira was the most free bird that ever existed.
It made her wonder if she ever noticed this before, if there was a moment or moments that would have helped her see that part of Ira ever. She did not dwell on it long, though, because they were in such a better place now, so much more honest and vulnerable with each other. After everything, all Tawan wanted to do was start new from here and move forward.
Ira deserved that much and she would give it to her every single time.
Tawan smiled, standing and heading over to obey her request. She placed her glass down on the table on her side before sliding under the blanket next to her, laughing at how she seemed to buzz in excitement as she scooted over to her. Ira tangled their legs together as she laid her head on her broad shoulder, nuzzling her head there as she pulled the blanket up to her chin. Tawan smiled, holding her close by her shoulders and resting her head on her forehead.
“I could probably fall asleep out here,” Tawan sighed contently, pulling her closer.
“Keep me warm then we might,” Ira mumbled, making them both laugh.
Tawan made sure as best as she could in their embrace that the covers were tucked around them so that no warmth escaped. She sighed as she rested her head back against the chair and stared at their fire pit, loving the smell that always reminded her of barbecues in the summer. When they first started dating, during the colder days of the year this was something she loved to do wit Ira as a way to unwind and bond through deep talks or comfortable silences.
They sat in silence for a few minutes enjoying each other’s warmth and presence, thinking about how close they were to their much needed couple’s getaway vacation in a few weeks.
“Do you think the kids will love the presents we got them?” Ira asked curiously, suppressing a yawn.
“I promised Sammy the telescope a long time ago now. He more than deserved it after doing so well on his science project,” Tawan replied, rubbing up her back as she grabbed her wine for a sip. “Star is going to freak when she sees the tickets to the women’s pro soccer game.”
Ira chuckled along with her at the thought. “True, but I think them going to Wei’s while we go to New York might be a better surprise than their actual presents,” she determined.
“I think my brother is more excited than them,” Tawan said as she set her glass back down.
Both women laughed as they remembered how excited Wei was when they called to ask him if he would want his beloved niece and nephew while they dashed away to New York for ten days. He wasted no time in expressing his excitement by somehow overly accepting their request as he rambled out things he wanted to do with them. Tawan laughed to herself at Ira’s momma bear starting to give instructions and lists about the twins as if he already had them there with him and did not already know most of this.
“I can’t wait to go to Times Square and The Met with you,” Ira sighed blissfully.
“I can’t wait to take you shopping,” Tawan agreed, kissing her forehead.
“You mean watch me change in and out of clothes and heels,” Ira half teased, making her laugh.
“You get to spend a lot of money on the best things and I get to enjoy you modeling it for me,” Tawan clarified jokingly.
“Sneaky,” Ira smirked and kissed her cheek. They both laughed and settled back into their spots.
They sat back in silence for a while, Ira’s mind now going to their next planned vacation as a family in Greece while Tawan tried to remember the list she made of things to do in New York. She wanted Ira to forget about everything she and they had been through the last of the year. Her wife deserved nothing but the best and to enjoy herself after not only all of the bad stuff with Lai, but also how hard she had worked.
When she learned everything during the court proceedings that Lai had put her wife through in detail from ten years ago up until now, she thought about making Lai disappear off the face of the Earth. No one deserved to be treated the way that Ira was treated by her and it made her protectiveness really kicked in. But as much as she wanted to do that, her satisfaction at that scenario made her realize how selfish it was because she knew it would only hurt Ira more in the end.
The way they were handling things now was the right way to do it, and karma would deal with Lai when the time was right.
Tawan remained studious in how she supported Ira through her healing journey, still reading whatever materials she could get her hands on and watching whatever videos she came across to remain diligent. It was the most difficult thing to come to terms with when she had to sit down with herself to admit that she did not know how to do this. She always felt like she either had the answer to things or could find it in record speed, so the pain of knowing that her wife was suffering and she did not know how to help her was very disarming in how excruciating and debilitating it felt.
It was another lesson about pride in how she had to let go and surrender so she could show up for Ira as bare as she was showing herself to her and the world.
Tawan quickly found her footing, though she would still trip sometimes, in how she showed up for her wife on this new, uncharted path. She admired Ira’s strength in how she handled each day in court, how she courageously and poignantly shared with the public her painful past, and how committed she was to making the choice each time to go to therapy. Even more so the way she held her head high knowing she was the sole facilitator of her story and puppet master of her life.
Proud was an understatement as to how strongly Tawan felt about her wife through all of this.
Ira felt like she had closed a chapter of her life that hung over her so profoundly both consciously and unconsciously. It took a lot of strength and perseverance to not only show up in court each time, but to present a strong front. If not for Tawan sitting behind her each and every time, she did not know how she would have made it through. Facing her abuser in court was the toughest challenge she had ever overcame, and it was only the love and support of her family and friends that got her through it.
Therapy was difficult to start and more difficult to share in and maintain after. She knew that Tawan was coming from nothing more than a place of love and concern in pushing her as gently towards it as she could. Words could never express how thankful and blessed she knew she was for having her wife by her side, her most ardent supporter and loving light through such a dark time.
Tawan had even offered to go to therapy with her and to even do couple’s sessions if it meant they were being well rounded in their approaches to support each other through this difficult journey. It made all of this feel less alone for the both of them. Her wife never made her feel like a burden or the other things she feared prior to telling her about her past with Lai. Ira thought she would see her as weak and broken and unable to stand on her own, but, instead, Tawan saw her as this immense source of light, strength, dignity, and courage.
There was nothing she had experienced quite as extraordinary as Ira through this whole entire process, and it only made her fall more in love with her.
Ira was so encouraged by her wife that she could physically feel her cup running over. Tawan gave every ounce of herself in every way to ensure that she never ever felt like she was alone and not being supported. It was how she knew deep in her bones that Tawan was her other half, her missing piece when she felt like things did not make sense, the consistent click in her brain, and the unbelievable, beautiful magic of her world.
Life was such a beautiful phenomenon in how they were created from simple matter, as if plucked from the air and somehow placed down like grass on the Earth's surface. It marveled her every day that they found each other whether by accident or destiny, as if preordained like the universe needed them to come together by design. It was as if they came from the same make up or substance, always bound to mold as one time and time again over the course of human existence.
Ira knew without a doubt, that even though she had to make the choice to step into the unknown each and every time, nothing could ever be more evident than Tawan being the extra push that put her back on her map.
Their relationship came out of this with an even more solid foundation, secured walls, and impenetrable roof. Though they wished that Ira never had to go through such a thing to come to this, they accepted it for what it was and committed to maintaining and sustaining this new path. Ira had all of the love and respect of her wife, children, parents, extended family, loved ones, and friends to lean on. Tawan would always make sure that she knew she would carry her across the galaxy if she had to.
Ira could feel her wife thinking deeply and knew that they were on the same wavelength.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked, looking up at her. She smiled as she watched her slowly smile in thought before pressing a kiss to her jaw.
“You are the most amazing person I will ever meet,” Tawan whispered in awe as she looked into her eyes. “I love you so much.”
Ira, touched, slowly smiled as her twinkling eyes roamed her face. “I’m so beyond lucky and blessed that I get to do life with you, baby,” she whispered back, placing her hand on her cheek.
Tawan smiled as her eyes rested on her lips and she leaned over to kiss her.
She put all of her love and admiration into it, turning her head some to deepen it as passionately as she could at their angle. Ira smiled against her mouth for a second before sitting up some to lean over her, slotting her mouth over hers and trying to not grin when she moaned a toe curling sensation into her mouth. She rubbed her thumb over her cheek to tell her to slow down then slowly pecked her lips so they could both save this memory.
“We have to stop meeting here,” Ira joked, pulling back a bit to look around at their predicament for emphasis.
Tawan, eyes still darkened with lust, laughed heartily. “It used to be the couch before the kids,” she joked back and they both laughed.
Ira watched her laugh, her eyes going from the way her lips curled over her teeth to her eyes that sparkled like glitter. It never ceased to amaze her how much she had won in life having married this insanely beautiful woman and producing the most precious children in the process. Tawan always made her feel like nothing else existed for her, and their children made her feel like she was the most important person in their lives aside from their other mother.
After everything that she had been through, they all reminded her that she deserved to be happy and to have good things.
Tawan reached up and grabbed her neck, massaging it before moving up to hold the hair at the back of her head. She watched her wife smile and stare through her, piercing deep into her soul, her eyes looking as if she was playing something in her mind's background. A smile started to slowly form on her own lips as she watched Ira come back to her and settle her gaze on her as if to say thank you.
There was nothing Tawan would not do for Ira, nothing that would stop her from giving her the world and by way the same for their children. They were both equally devoted to one another and their family more than they had ever been before. Life had tested them and they had learned so many valuable things, passing with flying colors.
“Next year is your year, my love,” Tawan told her, scratching her fingers at the back of her head.
Ira pursed her lips tightly and nodded. “It’s both of our year. Then forever,” she corrected, her emotions hitting her.
Tawan sniffed then brought her back down to kiss her to pour all of herself into her. Ira grabbed her face with both hands and turned her head to match as much of her passion as she could.
Both women had the same thought in their head, that the greatest Christmas gift they could give the other was themselves. After everything that had happened, neither wanted to take for granted the other or waste any precious time not showing or telling the other how much they loved them. If this moment was their last with each other, then they would make sure it meant something and everything all at once.
The year was ending on a high note and they planned to start the next year on an even bigger one together.