Shelter
Chapter 44: Shelter
Tawan looked at her wristwatch and then behind herself for the third time after noticing Ira had been gone longer than she needed to be.
She began to wonder if she got lost or was being hounded for her time again, something she told her that she needed a break from for the rest of the night after having bounced from person to person. After a few more minutes, something in her was nagging her to go look for Ira, so she excused herself to go find her and make sure she was okay.
Meena nodded to her and told her as she stepped away that she would pick up where she left off with schmoozing some publication executives. Tawan thanked her then headed towards the bathrooms, only stopping to talk to Mali when she asked her what time they should leave. She looked at her wristwatch again and figured that they had stayed long enough now and especially because her stomach was thinking about her celebratory noodles.
They both decided it was time to go and Mali told Tawan which direction she last saw Ira head towards when she said she was going to go get her.
As she headed in the direction that Mali had pointed towards, Tawan had almost like a pep or skip in her step, looking like someone taking a nice, lovely stroll through the park and whistling along with the birds. Her joy inside was just as evident on the outside in each step she took, and she could not wait to celebrate a little more with Ira and their friends. She thought about where she would put her trophy in her office, deciding that it would like nice in the middle of her bookshelf, as she rounded the corner to the bathrooms in the back corner of the building.
Since the event was dying down and people were exiting for one last bit of exposure to the public, the building was becoming less occupied. Tawan figured she might as well use the bathroom while she was there whether Ira was there or not. It was too quiet in this area, so she figured she was alone and pulled her cellphone out to call Ira to find out where she was at. It was as she approached her last turn on the left to be at the bathrooms when she heard it.
A sound that sounded like a child whimpering caught her ear, raised the hairs on the back of her neck, and made her pick up her pace to head towards it. Tawan saw Lai gripping a woman's arm so hard that the white of her knuckles were showing. Then, like slow-motion, her eyes moved and fell on the person she was hurting and she thought she stopped breathing. All she saw was red as her feet found themselves rushing at Lai and her hands curling as they reached out for her.
Tawan tried to not throw up thinking about the face Ira was making or the way her wide eyes casted to her arm that was in a vice grip.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Fuck!”
Lai’s face was pressed so hard into the wall that she thought she might break through it to the other side. The strength she was exerting to grit her teeth down hard went way beyond what she thought she could exert. Her right arm was twisted in a nasty angle, almost like a double helix, and she could feel her twisted fingers near the middle of her back. She desperately clawed her left hand into the wall in hopes of grasping something to relieve this horrible pain, but all that she got for her efforts were her nails starting to hurt.
“It doesn’t feel good, does it?”
She knew immediately the voice that pierced her ear drum in a dangerously low tone, like it was several octaves lower than usual and dripped with something like venom and defense.
“T-Tawan,” Lai grunted, wincing at the pain in her elbow. “How nice of y-you to join us?”
“You think all of this is a game, don’t you?” Tawan accused, her tone icy as she pushed all her weight into her back.
“You’re n-no compet-ition,” Lai gritted, pushing against her some as pained tears stung her eyes.
Tawan, only just a hair, twisted Lai’s arm up higher making her cry out in pain. It was loud enough for Tawan to bang then push the side of her head further into the wall to quiet her lest someone became curious. The last thing she wanted was for someone to turn the corner to see her like this and people assuming she was assaulting Lai rather than protecting Ira. At the thought of her, Tawan cast her eyes over her shoulder to where she last saw her wife and her heart broke all over again.
Ira was standing still, almost frozen in place, holding her elbow as she stared through them at her pinning Lai against the wall. She look like she had seen a ghost or she was entranced by some spell. Tawan figured she was traumatized all over again, that she was transported back to her freshman year of college. Her mind started to race with every horrible scenario or outcome that could have happened had she not decided to come check on her when she had been gone too long.
“You better let m-me go, Tawan. How are you g-going to explain breaking my a-arm?” Lai warned out of breath, almost like a challenge, as her teeth gritted again.
Tawan dug her head into the wall. “The same way you will tell everyone that you’re an abusive piece of shit that loves to hurt women,” she seethed between clenched teeth.
“Ira w-won’t-,”
“Don’t you ever say her name again,” Tawan threatened, banging her head on the wall a little. “Don’t you even think about her or I will break your fucking arm.”
Lai, eyes crossing some at the pain, dug her head into the wall and tried to not move even a millimeter in fear her arm would snap at her elbow. Tawan curled her fingers into her hair and forced her head into the wall more. She actually thought about breaking her arm hoping that it would deter her from ever being in Ira’s presence again. The look that Ira had on her face was something she had never seen before, a fear of the unknown but knowing that whatever was to come would be painful or worse.
Tawan’s stomach twisted and stretched at the thoughts that must have went through her head, the fear that made her think she was not going to make it out of this situation unscathed.
“Tawan…let her go.”
Tawan was so focused on her racing thoughts and keeping Lai pinned to the wall that she did not notice Ira was beside them now. She looked to her and her heart clenched at the sight of her face begging her to not do this. Ira hesitated as she reached up to place her uninjured hand on her arm, and the second her hand touched her she felt herself release the tension she had.
Tawan’s mind flashed back to the hundreds of materials, resources, and knowledge she had gained in the days after Ira’s telling her about her past with Lai.
Thankful for her time as a journalist which exposed her to so many things, though painful, she had spent countless hours in her office reading books, articles, studies, watching videos, and any other piece of information that she could get her hands on. Tawan felt inadequate and useless, totally lost as to how to help Ira through this, so much so that she even considered her own counseling in hopes to encourage Ira.
The biggest lesson she learned, though, and one she was fully committed to not perpetuating, was that she could not make this about her and had to support Ira. This did not mean that she could not feel something about the situation, but that she had to remember who actually suffered a traumatizing event.
Tawan broke their gaze to look at Lai. “A-are you okay?” She asked, shakily, turning back to her for assurance.
Ira, swallowing hard, nodded and wiped at her eye. “I am now,” she answered, tightly nodding at her again as tears stung her eyes.
Lai made a sound and they both turned their attention back to her. Tawan inhaled deeply through her nose before leaning close to her ear again.
“Remember this the next time the thought even crosses your mind to put your hands on anyone else again especially her,” Tawan warned steely, moving to grip the back of her neck. She forced her face into the wall again for emphasis.
“She will n-never forget me,” Lai snarled some, wincing at her strength. She tried to stand as tall as she could on her tippy toes in hopes of reversing their positions, but Tawan's strength was not to be matched.
“You really don’t know her then, do you,” Tawan stated, trying not to growl as she pushed her head into the wall again. “You stay the hell away from her! If you see her coming down the same street as you then you cross oncoming traffic if you have to for her to never have to lay eyes on you again. Do you understand me?”
“F-fuck you, Tawan!” Lai growled and attempted to push off the wall. She put her fist into the wall and barely pushed before cowering at the pain.
Tawan slammed her back in place, putting her forearm into the back of her neck. “Don’t fuck with me, La! She is the only reason I’m not ripping your arm off to beat you with it. You stay 45 meters away from her including the requirements of the injunction we’ll be filing with her mother tomorrow,” she advised, twisting her arm again.
Lai whimpered and tried to straighten her arm to no avail. “S-she doesn’t want this p-public,” she tried to reason, mostly for her sanctity.
“Don’t tell me what I want,” Ira cut in, her determination unfaltering.
Lai looked at her for the first time and could see the thing that she feared the most was true. Ira was hurt, a little broken even, by her actions but she was not going to let them confine and solely define her anymore. Her eyes widened some in fear at what this revelation meant.
“Does that answer your question,” Tawan sneered through clenched teeth.
With one last push into the wall that elicited a pained sound from her, Tawan quickly released Lai and immediately grabbed Ira’s hand to gently pull her to stand behind her protectively. If she had to, she would claw Lai’s eyeballs from her sockets if she attempted to come at her wife again. Ira immediately moved to stand behind Tawan, her unoccupied hand gripping her forearm and guiding her back with her as they took a few steps for more space between them and her attacker.
Lai was bent over gripping her elbow and gingerly touching all over her arm to make sure nothing was broken. She tried to shake out the pain but all it did was shoot excruciating like daggers through her arm, so she clenched her eyes closed and bit down hard. As much as she wanted to charge Tawan and see who was the dominant one in this situation, she felt she was lucky her arm was still attached her to her body.
Besides, she had more pressing matters now that the threat of the exposure of her past actions and current ones were very real now.
“W-we can talk about this…,” Lai sputtered, reaching for her hot to the touch arm. “Let’s not make a spectacle of this. You guys have the magazine and her modeling career-,”
“I’m speaking to my mother tomorrow,” Ira promised, her tone firm and cold. “You will be hearing from our lawyer.”
Lai looked to them, her chest rising and falling. “You don’t want to create a scandal for yourselves,” she tried to reason, wincing when she touched her elbow.
“You just don’t want one for yourself,” Tawan glared knowingly, standing more in front of Ira. "Or your father."
“Fuck,” Lai hissed, face getting redder with anger and shame by the second as she stepped to them. “I’m telling you this right now that you don’t want to-,”
“Leave!” Tawan bellowed, pointing at an exit. “Before I change my mind. Don’t test me.”
Lai stared her down in challenge, begging her to make the first move, knowing that her father would probably disown her for this scandal and shame she would bring upon them. This time was just as worse as it was ten years ago because Ira would for sure have very visible, worse evidence just like then. Her mind was racing at how angry her father would be which was always more scarier than anything the law could ever do to her.
Tawan noticed her desperation and stood as straight as she could in defense of them. Her hand found Ira’s thigh and she gently grasped it to push her back if she had to. Ira, however, gripped her arm to keep her both in place and to anchor herself to the ground.
Suddenly, the audible sounds of the event preparing to exit the venue to end the night carried down the halls to them. Lai looked to the sound and grounded her teeth as she nursed her arm, cursing her luck at her attempt to intimidate them. Tawan, eyes never leaving her, watched her like a hawk in hopes she would make the correct choice and leave.
Lai stared at them for a moment before she spat at the ground then headed for the exit, keeping her front facing them and her eyes mostly on Ira. She tried to not think about how disappointed her mother would be when this all came out.
Tawan and Ira let out breaths that they did not realize they had been holding as soon as she disappeared. They could not believe what just happened, how they had to get physical to protect themselves and especially at a public event. A small sob came suddenly from Ira’s chest and she shook from it making Tawan turn immediately to her.
She hesitated for just a second, their eyes meeting for the first time, before immediately grabbing Ira’s shoulders. The fear she could even see from the distance before she pinned Lai against the wall was still there. It was rippling like raindrops in the ocean as the understanding that she was okay and her wife had shown up to save her permeated her. Tawan felt her own heart break as she squeezed her shoulders then moved to gently grab her face.
The emotions of what just happened had turned from defensive to submissive as Tawan brought her close to touch foreheads. As soon as the heat of their skin mixed, Ira closed her eyes and broke down crying.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m right here. I got you,” Tawan whispered, her voice shaken and thick with pain as tears leaked from her anguished eyes. She watched Ira's closed eyes as their foreheads touched.
Ira, gripping her wrists that held her to her and ignoring the horrible pain in her arm, quickly circled her arms around her neck and buried her face there to hide. She was suddenly hit with how much worse things could have been if Tawan had not shown up right when she did. Just one more second and she did not know if she would have survived whatever was to come next.
For Tawan, she tried to keep her brain’s defenses up as it blocked out the worst case scenarios of had she had been even a few seconds late. It was unexplainable the dark, sinister, ominous presence that she had walked up on that slithered away with Lai when she left. She held Ira close, rubbing her hands up her back or squeezing her to herself as she silently sobbed into her neck.
Tawan started to cry to herself as she circled her arms around Ira's middle and tangled her hand in her hair to hold her close and promise that she would never let her go.